Relationship advices

Did I prioritize money over love?

Did I make the wrong decision by prioritizing financial stability over love? I’m seeking a second opinion on my situation. Just before my 35th birthday, I ended my relationship with the love of my life (45 M) because he was unable to provide the financial support necessary to build our own family. You could say I was experiencing a mid-life crisis. I met him when I was 29 and had openly expressed my desire for children. I knew he had undergone a vasectomy. A year into our relationship, we decided to split the cost of the reversal, which was $8,000 in Alberta. He has three children of his own (16, 18, and 20). Throughout our relationship, I took on the role of stepmom, often compromising my own aspirations for his children. He raised them as a single dad and truly was the love of my life. He always reassured me that he wanted nothing more than to have kids with me. Yet, he still had his existing family. I have a successful career and felt financially ready, but he wasn’t matching my efforts. Over the nearly five years together, he struggled to maintain a job, which weighed heavily on me. We found out that the reversal didn’t work and decided to pursue IVF, but he didn’t have the funds for that either. After three years of trying to conceive, it became clear that I was facing this challenge largely on my own. After having my uterus evaluated, I discovered there were no medical issues preventing me from getting pregnant. Since he was the one who had the vasectomy, I wished to see more financial commitment on his part as a way to demonstrate his willingness to contribute. Am I a terrible person for leaving the love of my life over financial concerns? Now, five months later, I still find myself no closer to having my own family. It genuinely breaks my heart. I feel it’s unfair that I would have to shoulder the entire cost of IVF, considering how expensive it is. All I wanted was for him to assist me financially so I wouldn’t have to bear the burden alone. Am I wrong for choosing financial security over love? After all, money plays a crucial role in every aspect of life. After nearly five years of trying, I just didn’t feel financially supported, and creating my own family is of utmost importance to me. I’m still in love with him, but he still lacks the funds for IVF. I am aware there are other options out there, but they also come with costs. I’m reaching out to see if anyone has experienced something similar and to find out if I am indeed wrong for prioritizing money over love. Should I consider looking for a new partner—risking the chance of never finding love again and potentially being too old to have children—or should I accept a life where I bear all the financial responsibility?

My boyfriend, who is 20, told me, a 20-year-old female, that I make him feel worse in every situation where I communicate.

I’m a 20-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with my boyfriend, also 20, for over seven months. At the start of our relationship, we had some significant arguments and disagreements, which have lessened over time. I struggled to express my feelings and often chose to ignore him instead of communicating. Now that I’m trying to communicate openly about my emotions, I feel like I'm not doing it correctly. Today, he mentioned he wasn't feeling well at work due to being sick and dealing with other issues. I asked if I was part of the problem, and he responded, "I would have told you." I apologized because his tone seemed off, but then he expressed that he didn't want my apologies and couldn't handle it today. I suggested I could give him some space, explaining that I was just feeling bad and my messages were only meant to check in. He ended the conversation by saying I do this 2-3 times a week but wouldn’t explain what I'm doing wrong or how to improve it. I’m feeling confused because it seems like my attempts to communicate upset him, and I don’t know how to change that. What am I doing wrong, and how can I improve my communication?

I feel deeply torn about my 4-year relationship, which has a seemingly insurmountable issue, especially with a proposal anticipated in the coming years.

I'm really struggling with this situation. My partner (29M) and I have been together for nearly four years, and while she's always excitedly showing me rings and discussing wedding venues, I can’t shake the feeling that our intimacy has significantly dwindled since the honeymoon phase. I'm aware that these phases are temporary, but I've never felt such a stark contrast before. It’s like I'm with a completely different person now. Flirting used to be a big part of our relationship—she would initiate at any chance, regardless of the circumstances. Now, though, that seems like a distant memory. Despite my efforts to communicate my feelings and concerns over the past few years, nothing has really changed for the better. The closest we come to intimacy now feels forced, mostly when she senses that something’s bothering me but isn't sure what. What makes it so challenging is that I'm still very much in love with her. We have a great connection in pretty much every other aspect of our relationship. We laugh a lot, have lived together for two years, and we resolve arguments swiftly. We respect and support each other in our personal and professional lives. In many ways, our relationship is healthy and functional. She has a demanding job that has taken a toll on her mental health, disrupting the balance that allowed her to focus on fitness and self-image. It's clear that work has changed her, and she doesn't seem like the same person I fell in love with, although I still find her incredibly beautiful. After two years of feeling this way, I'm reaching out because I can feel the negative impact this situation is having on me, and I don’t want it to tarnish what we've built together. I used to approach our relationship with selflessness, going out of my way, but lately, I’ve started feeling resentful about my efforts. I work hard to provide for us, plan surprise outings, handle household chores, and bring home little gifts. I listen and strive to be a supportive partner. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into the typical traps that guys sometimes do, but now I feel like it's all one-sided. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking about her challenges to remind myself that it’s not all about me, but I can't help feeling used when my needs seem overlooked. I find myself frustrated when I receive attention from other women because I wish I could get that same attention from her. The thought of leaving feels like a huge mistake, but I can't keep sacrificing my mental well-being for the sake of what I thought was a perfect relationship. Or am I being unreasonable? I don’t know. TL;DR: I feel unable to ask for advice without providing important context about my situation. Sorry for the length.

Should I go?

I've been seeing a guy for the past seven months, and we've faced some challenges in our relationship. One major issue is his close friendship with a girl, for whom he has previously admitted to having feelings. He assured me that nothing physical ever happened between them, but he seems to have held onto those feelings until he met me. As we began dating, I noticed he continued to communicate with her frequently, which made me uncomfortable. I asked him to establish some boundaries, but it doesn't seem like he has enforced them as much as I would prefer. I get the impression that he genuinely cares for her and wants her in his life, which disturbs me, especially given what I know about their history. Recently, he mentioned that they hadn't spoken for about a month and a half, but during the weekend he spent with me, I saw that she messaged him in the morning. That triggered a lot of anxiety for me. It feels like no matter what I do or say, he will always keep her around, and I would need to accept that if I want to be with him. However, I don't think I can accept it after everything we've been through together. Just seeing that one notification has consumed my thoughts for the past two days, and I feel like I need to walk away from this relationship. I could really use some advice on how to handle this situation.

I was unfaithful to my wife (29F), and now I'm seeking guidance on how to either rebuild or renew our relationship.

I'm feeling really low after making a huge mistake a month ago; I cheated on my wife by texting another woman on Christmas Eve. I had brought home a case of beer for myself, as I'm not really into the holidays. I made an effort to clean the apartment and get the kids involved to help out. Unfortunately, things spiraled out of control that night. After consuming two edibles and drinking ten beers, I was definitely not in the right mindset. I mistakenly thought my wife was in a Discord chat with friends, and I vaguely remember someone expressing love, which led to a conversation about breasts. From there, I ended up messaging this woman I didn't even know, asking for inappropriate pictures. I never received any pictures, but I spent the whole night complimenting her looks and expressing some rather crazy thoughts like wanting to be an "international husband." When I woke up the next morning and saw those messages on my phone, I was utterly heartbroken. I've never acted like this in the decade I've been with my wife. I tried to brush it off with the woman I contacted, saying I didn't mean what I said, and she just replied, "It's okay, you were drunk." I even ended up yelling at others in the group, though I can't remember any of it. Out of shame and disgust for myself, I kept this from my wife for five days, hoping it would just fade away. I didn't want to reach out to the woman again or engage any further; I was horrified at the thought of hurting my wife like this. Now, after a month of reflection, I've been digging into my childhood trauma and what led me to this point. I've been reading books on healing and trying to put more effort into my marriage. I want to be a better husband and make the necessary changes to move forward. I realized that my wife is truly amazing; my mistake was getting lazy in the relationship. I studied the concepts of personal awakening and am now focusing on self-improvement while also giving my wife space. I'm seeking therapy for my trauma, though it's quite expensive. I'm working on rebuilding myself, breaking down the walls I had up, and envisioning the man I want to be for my wife. Has anyone else experienced something similar and found help? Are you still together?

I'm experiencing difficulties with my favorite person (F25); dealing with BPD is tough.

(25F) I'm in love with my best friend more than my girlfriend. My best friend (F26) tends to take advantage of me, while my girlfriend (F23) reassures me that she's there for me whenever things go wrong. However, deep down, I crave a relationship with my best friend, even though I know she doesn't deserve that. I'm unsure about what to do.

I’m feeling really confused and could use some help.

Hey everyone, I’m a 21-year-old female, and I’ve been feeling really down lately. Last year, I connected with a guy on a dating app, and after chatting for about a week, I visited him at his place after he picked me up from college. He’s 23, and honestly, I felt completely comfortable with him for the first time in my life. I genuinely smiled and laughed, we kissed and cuddled, and I had the best time ever. It felt amazing, like I just melted in his arms. But after three days, I admitted that I really liked him, and then he ghosted me. I tried reaching out a couple more times, but he ghosted me again each time. He mentioned having commitment, attachment, and anger issues, and I had this urge to protect him. However, my friends pointed out that I needed to move on, so I hesitated but eventually re-downloaded the app. I met another guy, 21, who is really sweet and brought me flowers and chocolates, and I started developing feelings for him. But guess what? He’s still hung up on his ex and isn’t ready for any commitment. Honestly, I’m still not over my first guy, and now I’m feeling really lost. I could use some advice—what should I do?

My girlfriend (24) is dealing with depression, and I'm feeling lost on how to support her.

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about nine months now, and she frequently experiences depressive episodes that cause her to pull away significantly. During those times, it feels as if I no longer have a girlfriend. Because of our busy schedules, we can only meet 1-3 times a week, and sometimes not at all. I find it challenging to support her when she declines my efforts to see her and takes hours to respond to my texts. When she finally does reply, her messages are brief and lack the usual warmth, which is out of character for her. Should I consider reaching out to her parents or friends to share what’s going on? Is it appropriate to send her supportive messages even though I haven’t received a response to my last one? I genuinely want to be there for her, but it feels like she’s intentionally keeping me at a distance. It’s tough for me knowing she’s struggling and feeling helpless about how to assist her. She mentioned that she doesn’t want to discuss her feelings because it’s overwhelming, yet it’s difficult to maintain a normal conversation when I feel responsible for carrying it due to her minimal replies. I’m unsure whether I should continue to express my usual cheerful self around her or scale back my emotions so I don’t add to her stress. She rarely shares what’s bothering her, only mentioning that she’s in a “weird mood.” The decline in her mood has been gradual but worsened over the past week and a half—she initially told me her mood had dipped, but even our daily exchanges of "good morning" and "good night" have stopped. Now, I barely receive one or two texts a day, and she has turned down my attempts to see her since this started. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I truly want to do everything I can for the person I love.

Feeling conflicted and longing to be with a woman... despite being in a relationship with my boyfriend.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly three years, and I truly love him. We're both in eleventh grade, and he means the world to me. He often talks about wanting to marry me, and while I do love him and sometimes share those feelings, I can't shake this intense desire to kiss a girl. It all started with curiosity, but now it feels like an essential part of what I need to experience in my life. I'm so confused. I care about him deeply, but I know our relationship may not last forever—he hopes it will, but I’m aware of the statistics. My biggest fear is the thought of being with him for my entire life, which sounds terrible, I know. Maybe we’ll make it through high school together, and possibly even part of college, but I feel a strong urge to date a girl, and I can't emphasize that enough. Sometimes, this confusion and sense of regret consume my thoughts. I love him, I’m attracted to him—everything about our relationship feels real. Yet, I just can’t envision a long-term future with him.

Betrayed once more

I'm at a loss for what to do or say at this point. I'm a 23-year-old woman and I've caught my 24-year-old fiancé cheating on me for the sixth time. This isn't the first time I've confronted him—it's just one instance in a long history I've tried to ignore until it's become unbearable. He leaves explicit pictures in his gallery, keeps his incognito mode open at night, and I've discovered messages spanning months from various people. He's even used a specific app to cheat. We have a 16-month-old child and two teenagers, and I truly love him. I've cut ties with my family due to their abusive behavior, all in an effort to protect our own family. Yet, despite everything I do for him, he continues to betray my trust, offering nothing but apologies and vague assurances that he's “working on it.” He can't even explain why he cheats, which only deepens my frustration. We even tried swinging, hoping it would lead to more honesty between us, but that seems to have made things worse. I'm hurt and frustrated—I've never messaged or flirted with anyone else throughout our nearly three-year relationship. I helped him pay off IRS debt, covered nearly $1,000 for his car repairs, and paid for daycare for our son. I thought things were finally looking up, but when I checked his phone recently, I had a feeling something was off, and unfortunately, I was right. Every time it seems like we're doing well, I discover more secrets, and it stings. I really need advice on how to move forward because I don't want to end the relationship, but emotionally, I can't keep handling the betrayal.

I didn't receive a Valentine's gift from my boyfriend. Is it unreasonable for me to feel upset about it?

"I (20F) just celebrated my first Valentine's Day in a relationship, and I have to say, I was really looking forward to it. Watching my friends enjoy it in the past had me eager for that special moment with someone. However, when Valentine’s Day came, my boyfriend (20M) simply texted me a casual 'Happy Valentine's Day,' explaining that only kids celebrate it and that we’re too mature for such things. I had gotten him a gift, but after hearing his response, I felt too embarrassed to give it to him. So, I played it off and agreed with him, saying it was just a kids' holiday. But truthfully, I expected a bit more. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you deal with it? Was I out of line for having those expectations? EDIT: I just remembered something that's been on my mind. We recently had a small argument, and he mentioned that we’re not like other couples because we don’t talk on the phone very often. As a final-year student, I’m always swamped with assignments and seminars, yet I still find the time to text him regularly and call him 2-3 times a day. Hearing his comment made me reflect on our Valentine's Day experience. If we're different from other couples, then why skip the Valentine’s Day celebration?"

What should I do?

Last October, a girl from church whom I had a slight crush on asked my sister for my number. She expressed that she wanted to get to know me better and was interested in me. Initially, everything seemed to go smoothly as we chatted and connected over text. A week later, I suggested going on a date, which she agreed to. However, when I checked in about her availability for that Sunday—since she was busy with the worship team—she said she couldn't make it, so we rescheduled for the following week. But when I reached out that Friday to confirm if she'd be free, she started coming up with excuses, mentioning concerns about being seen together by others from church. This shift confused me since she had seemed enthusiastic before, so I decided to cancel to avoid complicating things. Fast forward two weeks, and we hadn't communicated much. I asked her out for coffee before a youth event, but she replied that she felt something was off and didn’t want to meet up. In January, after she finished her finals, I reached out to see how she was doing, letting her know I was there to listen. She responded with, "Hi, thank you for your concern. As I mentioned before, I’m not looking for a relationship right now and I'm not ready for one. I’ve realized I don’t have feelings for you; what I felt was just admiration. I really appreciate your kindness, but it’s making me uncomfortable. It’s probably best if you don’t wait for me because I don’t want to hurt your feelings. There are many other girls who would be a better match for you." I can't shake the feeling that I rushed things and crossed her boundaries, and now I feel terrible about it. She's the only person I genuinely like, and I had said I was willing to wait for her. What should I do now? Can I do anything to help the situation, or should I simply wait for the right moment to apologize?

My boyfriend is asking me to take care of his household chores.

I'm a 20-something female university student living with my boyfriend of three years, who is almost 30 and works long shifts as a chef. Lately, I feel like he expects me to take care of all the housework, including washing his clothes and cleaning up after him. While I may not work long hours like him, being a full-time student still takes up a lot of my time. Even if I had the time, I don’t think it’s fair for me to be responsible for everything. Just to clarify, he doesn’t provide any financial support for me. I've communicated to him that I don’t want to fall into a "traditional wife" role. When we first started dating, I made it clear that my education and future were my top priorities. I’m happy to help out as a kind gesture occasionally, but I don’t want it to be an expectation. Unfortunately, I've had to reiterate this point several times throughout our relationship. Tonight, he came to bed wearing his dirty socks, and I asked him to take them off so the sheets wouldn’t get dirty (since we don’t have a washing machine, I would have to handwash them). He responded, “Well, that’s what happens when I don’t have any clean socks,” and refused to take them off, implying it was my responsibility to wash them. I couldn’t help but laugh and asked him why he wasn’t washing them himself. Honestly, I can’t even recall his exact response, but it frustrated me. He often says things like, “If you loved me, you’d do these things to make my life easier." I’ve made it clear that I’m not his maid, and while I understand that his job is demanding, it shouldn’t mean I have to shoulder all the household chores just because I'm studying at home. I have my own life to lead, and he managed just fine at my age without relying on someone to cater to him. Additionally, our mutual friend, who is female, often sides with him and insists that if I truly cared for him, I should ensure he has food ready when he gets home. However, she has never been in a relationship, so I didn't give her opinion much weight, even though it was frustrating. He has ample time to prepare meals during the day but often chooses to relax and play video games instead, or he claims he has a bad sleep schedule and rushes to his shift without planning ahead. Today was a minor exception; he intended to cook a meal for himself for lunch but asked me to wash his pot. I didn’t do it, so he skipped eating and went back to gaming. As much as I care for him, I find this behavior quite off-putting. I want a partner, not someone I need to take care of. I’d appreciate any advice or insights, especially if anyone has faced a similar situation.

My boyfriend mentioned that he thinks I appear heavier.

I'm struggling to process what just happened. My boyfriend recently mentioned that he thinks I look "fat" — not in an angry way, just said it casually like it was nothing. But honestly, it feels like my whole world has turned upside down. I've always felt confident in my body, or at least I thought I did. Ever since he made that comment, I've found myself fixating on every little detail, doubting my appearance, and I can't even look in the mirror without feeling awful. It's as if that one remark has shattered all the positivity I had about myself. I know he didn't intend to hurt me, but it still stings. It feels like he sees me differently than I believed he did, and that's making me question everything. I just want to regain my self-esteem. Should I let this go, or do I need to talk to him about it? I don't want to overreact, but it's really weighing on me. How can I move past this without letting his comment undermine my confidence? I could use some advice... I’m not sure how to handle this.

Here are the pros and cons of my boyfriend. I'd appreciate your feedback and opinions.

For context, I'm a 20-year-old female, and he’s a 21-year-old male. We're in a semi-long-distance relationship, seeing each other about once a month, and we’ve been together for two years. Both of us are currently in college, and I also work part-time. **Pros** 1. He’s very affectionate and loves to cuddle, which makes me feel desired. 2. It’s clear he’s attracted to me; he expresses a strong desire for intimacy, which I appreciate. 3. He encourages me to be my healthiest self, reminding me to take my medication, eat well, exercise, keep up with schoolwork, and attend classes. 4. He provides comfort during tough times, especially since I live with my parents, who have a tumultuous relationship. My dad's alcoholism leads to frequent arguments that are hard for me to witness. He offers support and has suggested moving in together to help me escape that situation. When I’m upset, he tries to distract me. 5. His loyalty is unwavering. He shows little interest in other girls, and his social media is filled with fitness videos and memes. He doesn’t communicate with any girls apart from me, and I have his phone password, which gives me peace of mind regarding his trustworthiness. 6. We easily connect on many topics, including politics, spirituality, humor (which is vital), future family goals, and our tastes in things like homes and clothing. He doesn’t do drugs or drink often, which aligns with my values. 7. He makes me feel safe and cared for. Once, when I had too much to drink and got sick, he took care of everything, from cleaning up to helping me shower and get comfortable again. Despite my embarrassment, he was nothing but supportive. **Cons** 1. He can be quite cheap. While I understand the value of being frugal, his penny-pinching can become irritating, especially since he isn’t struggling financially. He could easily get a part-time job like I do but doesn’t want to. 2. He rarely gives gifts. Despite knowing how important this is to my love language, he doesn’t offer anything like flowers, love notes, or even a simple candy bar. I’ve expressed my feelings about this multiple times, but he hasn’t changed. He even mentioned he “doesn’t really want to” but agreed to try only after I insisted. 3. He shows little interest in activities I enjoy and won’t even pretend to like them for my sake. If I suggest a walk, he typically declines. It’s rare for him to agree to do something I enjoy, like pottery painting, even though I make an effort to participate in his interests. 4. He often criticizes my spending, even when it’s for him or not extravagant. It’s rare for him to acknowledge anything positively when I buy something. 5. He seems unambitious about his future. When we talk about our life ahead, he appears resigned to a mundane 9-5 desk job, lacking passion or goals to change that path despite knowing he wants more. 6. Although he finds me attractive, his reactions when I model clothes for him often feel distracted or uninterested. He acknowledges me if I'm in something particularly revealing but doesn’t respond as many girls would hope for. 7. He can be very stubborn, believing he’s right about everything, even when I have evidence to the contrary. Admitting he’s wrong or being open to new information is a challenge for him. 8. His stubbornness extends to working through conflicts. It often takes considerable effort for him to acknowledge my feelings and say he’ll work on himself for my sake. For instance, when I expressed my desire for us to walk my dog, he didn’t validate my feelings and instead emphasized his own indifference. 9. Occasionally, he spends too much time flexing and posing in the mirror while I’m trying to engage him in conversation. I find him attractive, but it can feel a bit out of place when I'm looking for connection. 10. I often feel unappreciated. I try hard to engage in his interests, cook for him, and do thoughtful things like having breakfast ready when he visits. Yet, he rarely acknowledges these efforts on social media or in any significant way, which leaves me feeling like my gestures go unreciprocated. While I understand it may seem trivial, it would mean a lot to me if he expressed his appreciation more openly.

I found my boyfriend chatting and flirting with girls on Instagram.

I ended my relationship with my boyfriend two weeks ago, and right now, I'm feeling really lost. We had a fantastic nine-month relationship; he’s 26, and I’m 24. We were compatible in so many ways, and I genuinely wanted to build a future with him. I loved him deeply and supported him a lot—financially, too, since I run my own business while he’s still in school. I even covered the costs for all our dates. However, things took a turn when I caught him lying to me, and I made it clear that I couldn’t accept that. I pride myself on being honest in both my personal and professional life, and I expected the same from him. Unfortunately, I discovered that he had been texting other girls on Instagram and WhatsApp, complimenting their looks and expressing concern when they didn’t respond. He was very active on social media, and when I initially asked him if he talked to other girls, he assured me that he would only reply if they responded to his stories. It turned out he was the one starting conversations with them all along. This was a major dealbreaker for me. I told him I had lost trust in him and decided to cut off all contact. He kept asking for another chance, but I was terrified of getting hurt again, so I stood firm in my decision. Not only did he damage our relationship, but I also had a close bond with his mother, and now I've lost that, too. I’m left feeling very disappointed and heartbroken. I'm just hoping I made the right choice.

I'm a 23-year-old female and I have feelings for my coworker and friend, who is 22 and male.

I (23/F) have been friends with someone we'll call “Jake” (22/M) for about seven months. We both work in the same department and grew closer after a night out where we danced together and he was really attentive. At the time, I interpreted his attention as friendly, since we were just starting to get to know each other. He often asked if I was interested in dating anyone, but I wasn't because I had just moved to town and wanted to focus on settling into my new job. I returned the question, and he mentioned that he had recently gotten out of a relationship and wasn't seeing anyone, although he didn’t clarify if he was looking for anything. After that night, our friendship continued to deepen. Over the next few months, I began to sense that Jake might have romantic feelings for me, as coworkers started to notice our flirtation and closeness. They made jokes about us, which left me perplexed. Eventually, I picked up on signs that he might like me—he gave me frequent compliments, we often found ourselves sitting close together, and he joked about my height by playfully putting his arm over my head. There were also moments when it felt like he was leaning in, making comments that hinted at something beyond friendship. I tried not to overthink things and just enjoyed our friendship. However, after I recently injured myself and struggled to walk properly, Jake showed a thoughtful side by making sure the car seat was pushed all the way back to accommodate me. That gesture struck me as sweet and sparked feelings I didn’t expect to have. But now, I’ve noticed that Jake seems a bit distant. When we talk, there’s an awkward tension, but neither of us brings it up. I can't tell if he feels the shift too, but I definitely do. Sometimes I give him rides, and it can be silent and uncomfortable. I’m feeling confused about how to proceed. I like Jake and value our friendship, but I’m unsure whether to address the changes in our dynamic or give him some space. On one hand, I sense there might be something between us, but on the other, I worry about making things awkward if he isn't interested or never was. Should I talk to Jake about my feelings, risking an awkward situation, or should I wait it out? If I decide to bring it up, what should I say? I don’t think he has any idea how I feel, and I’m uncertain about his feelings towards me.

My boyfriend and I are having trouble agreeing on how to divide our expenses, which is impacting our aspirations to move in together and get married. I could use some advice.

I'm a 21-year-old male, and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together since 2023—almost two years now—and we live in London. I care for him deeply, but there's something that's been on my mind, causing me to question our future together. We’re considering moving in together by the end of 2026, but we can’t seem to agree on how to share expenses. He insists on a 50/50 split, despite earning nearly double my salary and having fewer expenses (he lives close to his job, so he has no transport costs, while I would if we shared a place). I've tried to explain that a proportional division seems fairer, but he refuses to consider it. This has been a recurring issue since we started dating. I'm the one who always brings it up, yet he never initiates the conversation and often shuts it down when I try to discuss it. It feels like he's avoiding the topic, which is really frustrating for me. For me, a relationship only makes sense if we're planning for a future together, including the possibility of marriage. However, if we can't even agree on something as basic as splitting expenses, I'm uncertain about our ability to live together, which in turn makes me reconsider our marriage plans. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is it possible to resolve this, especially when one person avoids the discussion? Could this indicate a deeper misalignment in our values? I would really appreciate any advice.

Finding ways to manage my ADHD so it doesn't negatively impact our relationship.

Hi everyone, I'm reaching out for some advice on managing a relationship where ADHD is a factor. I've been with my partner (F21) for four years, but I often find myself self-sabotaging in ways that impact both of us. While we can go months without any arguments, there are times, usually after minor disagreements, when I become overwhelmed with anxiety and tears. During these moments, I struggle to control my reactions and end up expressing a version of myself that I don't like, often feeling like I'm watching it unfold without knowing how to stop it. For example, if she occasionally feels tired and isn't in the mood for intimacy, I spiral into overthinking and panic, which makes a minor issue feel huge. This isn't something that happens often, but I can't help but treat it like a crisis. I find myself unable to sleep unless I get what I want, only to wake up and feel guilty about how I handled things the night before. Additionally, I tend to idealize weekend plans and feel crushed if she decides to spend time with a friend, especially after not seeing her for long stretches. I genuinely want to change this pattern—I know I'm a good person and a supportive partner, but I fear that my actions might make her see me differently. Does anyone have insights or strategies that could help me navigate this situation? Thank you!

What’s the best way to approach him?

Looking for guidance on how to talk to my husband as a pregnant wife. 😭 Here’s some background: About a week ago, I was cutting his hair when he received a call from a number that seemed familiar to me (though I can’t quite put my finger on why). He dismissed it, saying it was nobody important, and since he generally avoids phone calls, I decided to let it slide despite feeling uneasy. Moving ahead to last night, while he was in the shower, I had an urge to check his watch (he takes his phone with him in the shower). I noticed a text from that same familiar number, which made me think of last week. It contained two screenshots of a Messenger conversation, but the pictures were too small for me to discern much. I then looked at his call log and saw numerous entries involving that number—calls he made, calls they made, missed calls, and even blocked ones. Curious, I researched the number through Cash App and another app, which revealed a female name of someone he works with on weekends. He had mentioned her in a strange story about his shift, but I had no idea they were connected, especially since I couldn’t find anything on social media. Checking our cell usage details, I found that ever since I first noticed the number, he’s been averaging 20-30 minute conversations with her since the 20th. Two of these calls even occurred around times when he called me “just because he missed me,” which is unusual for him, and another coincided with my attempt to reach him but he said he was on the line with an "angry old customer," a situation he often encounters at work, so I didn't question it then. We had a baby appointment on Friday, and I noticed calls he missed or blocked from that day that hadn't registered with me before. It’s clear to me that she knows about me, he’s hiding something, and it feels like there’s definitely something going on. I need to confront him for my own peace of mind since I’m experiencing significant anxiety, which I know isn’t good for the baby. I’m just unsure how to approach the conversation. We already have one child, and another on the way, and I’m so scared and saddened at the thought of everything falling apart. I’m really stressing out—please, no judgment, just constructive advice.

Guidance for those who are ending a relationship.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been facing significant relationship issues, which I've mentioned in previous posts. I made the decision to end things on Monday. I was devastated, but he was inconsolable—crying, missing work, unable to eat or sleep, and bombarding me with texts for three days straight, making it difficult for me to heal. On Thursday, I chose to meet with him, and after talking things over, I agreed to give our relationship another chance. However, as we attempt to move forward, I find myself filled with fear. I feel completely numb—no pain, no joy, just emptiness. I see him putting in the effort; he's seeking therapy and participating in men's support groups, but I still don't feel any excitement or happiness about trying again. Now I'm afraid to end things another time because of how he reacted last time, and I feel stuck. This situation is seriously impacting my mental health and daily life. I really need some advice.

Should I cover all the expenses and move in with him, or should I end the relationship?

I've been in a relationship with my partner for five years now. He’s always claimed that we have the same goals for our future, but I’m starting to question his commitment to actually achieving them. Money has always been a struggle for him. He eventually admitted that he had debt, especially after he asked for my help paying his bills about a year into our relationship. Over the last four years, I’ve tried everything to help him manage his finances better so we could save up to move out together. I’ve always been a good saver and had the means to do this, but nothing seems to be working. When I moved back in with my parents out of frustration, he promised me that if I gave him four months, he would reduce his spending and start saving. Unfortunately, he only managed to save £25 a week, which isn't nearly enough. I can’t continue like this; it has led to so many trust issues due to his unfulfilled promises, and I feel deeply unhappy. Yet, aside from this financial problem, he makes me feel loved and fulfilled. While he is making progress and will soon be debt-free, he hasn’t saved anything because he tends to overspend on hobbies and food. My heart is telling me to just pay for us to move out so we can finally settle down, believing he would manage the monthly bills and rent from then on. But my mind is urging me to consider ending things. I would really appreciate any advice or insights from others who have faced similar situations.

Am I overthinking this? I could use some help.

My partner needs a new sofa since he's currently living in a one-bedroom place and has turned his room into a children's space. I just ordered a corner sofa bed as a surprise for him, but now I'm concerned I might upset him. Am I overthinking this? 🤔😂

A 24-year-old man who is still a virgin.

Hey everyone, this is my first post on Reddit, so I apologize if my writing isn't the best. To get straight to the point, I'm a 23-year-old guy who's still a virgin. I've asked a few girls out that I was interested in, but unfortunately, they've all turned me down. I'm not sure why, and it's been weighing heavily on me. I've reached a point where I can no longer brush off these feelings. I don't really have much contact with girls at all. The girls I went to school with didn't show any interest in me, and the few from other classes that I tried to ask out also rejected me. It’s not like I haven’t put in the effort; I've actually approached them, but it's always ended with a "no." I think I've faced at least ten rejections at this point, and I'm starting to worry that I'll never find someone. Do you have any insight on what might be going wrong? Is it something to do with my appearance, or did I come on too strong? I don't believe that's the case, but I'd really appreciate any advice you might have. Thank you!

I (18F) playfully slapped my boyfriend (21M) during some lighthearted moments together, and now I'm questioning what might be wrong with me.

A few hours ago, I (18F) was hanging out with my boyfriend (21M), with whom I’ve been in a relationship for two years. We were just lounging in bed, joking around and having fun. I adore his face and his cheeks, and sometimes I playfully pinch his nose or hold his face in my hands and give him a light slap, similar to what you might do with a cute little kid. However, this time I may have gone a bit overboard and slapped him a little harder than intended—not to the point of hurting him, but definitely more forceful than my usual playful slaps. He laughed it off and seemed fine, but I started to panic, worrying that I had hurt him. He reassured me that it was all in good fun and that nothing was wrong. I know he's completely in love with me, which makes me anxious that he wouldn’t tell me if I did something wrong unless it was really serious. I don’t want to come across as aggressive in our relationship, and I’m worried about being a bad person. Am I just overreacting about my own actions, or is my concern justified?

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