Relationship advices

Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • 5d ago

Do couples experience disagreements regarding personal growth?

Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship, wondering if someone will ever challenge their existing beliefs about themselves or what they contribute to the partnership? How have you coped with emotionally distant partners or those who seem to lack depth? Is it a form of self-protection, or is it simply not part of their emotional toolkit? From my perspective, I often struggle with avoidant tendencies. After years of taking attachment style assessments, I'm realizing that my understanding of relationships and emotional expression is evolving; I'm approaching a quarter of the four main attachment styles. What does that mean? 😅 I find myself falling into negative thought patterns, focusing on what’s wrong instead of what's right. This leads me to contemplate escape as a way to avoid emotional pain, which ultimately results in hurt feelings. I then need to either be reassured by my partner or find a way to ground myself again. This can be especially challenging for someone with an anxious attachment style. Some of my triggers include a perceived lack of passion, interest, or enthusiasm, which ties back to fears of abandonment and self-worth. Thus, I sometimes react protectively based on my long-held beliefs, even if my partner says things like, “I’m just not a positive person, I can’t always say nice things to make you feel better.” While I respect her perspective, I find the language limiting and not particularly helpful. Is that reasonable? Similarly, I crave connection on both intellectual and emotional levels, and I often ask thoughtful questions to encourage growth. However, when my partner responds with, “I just don’t think about those things,” I’m left wondering if this is a limitation in our connection or if there’s an underlying fear at play.


Breakups and Divorces • 5d ago

Is it unreasonable for me to consider breaking up with my boyfriend because he refuses to neuter his cat?

My boyfriend (32M) is truly the sweetest, funniest, and most attractive man I've ever encountered. However, there are some concerning aspects of his personality that I'm worried about. He received a DUI two years ago and has since accumulated a warrant for missing his court appearance; he hasn't completed any DUI classes either. He relies on the bus for transportation, which is incredibly inconvenient, especially in Southern California where the public transport system is poor. He often complains about it but hasn't taken any steps to address the situation. We've been together for 10 months, and while I was aware that he didn't have a car when we started dating, I assumed he would handle it as most people do after a DUI. Additionally, he refuses to neuter his 8-month-old female cat, who has been in heat for over a month and is making life quite challenging with her constant yowling. I can't even spend the night because she's confined to his room, keeping me awake all night. It seems unfair to the animal not to neuter her, especially since she's not intended for breeding. He cites his low income as the reason for not neutering the cat, but I can't help but wonder why he would get a pet if he wasn't financially prepared to care for one. Are these valid reasons to consider ending our relationship? I would appreciate any advice!


Breakups and Divorces • 5d ago

Should I (27M) recommend to my friend (26M) whether he should meet up with his ex-girlfriend now that he is in a new relationship?

Get ready, because this is going to require some explanation. Also, I’m using a throwaway account since people are aware of my main one. Early last year, my friend (27M) started seeing a girl (26M) who is a bit older than him (unsure of her exact age). They really hit it off and made a cute couple. Unfortunately, they didn’t have much time together because she was already set to move abroad for work shortly after they met. My friend was reluctant to pursue a long-distance relationship, fearing he wouldn’t be able to handle it. She agreed that it was likely for the best, given that her return didn’t seem imminent at that time. After she moved, she quickly revealed that she didn’t actually want to end things. My friend thought it over seriously but ultimately chose to stick with his decision. They remained in touch throughout the summer, texting and video calling frequently. He often shared updates about her with me. She visited for a few days in the autumn, where they talked things through and "officially broke up." Even after that, they continued to communicate. Although he was the one who ended things, I can tell he has struggled to let her go. He frequently expresses a desire for her to remain in his life, though he claims to want her as just a close friend. Personally, I believe he may not be fully honest with either me or himself. About a month ago, he began dating another girl he had been in contact with for a while. He seems to like her, but everything is still new. Recently, he learned that his ex-girlfriend will be moving back to our country later this year, just two hours away. Next week, his ex is visiting town, and he plans to meet up with her several times. As far as I know, she won’t be staying with him and is mainly coming to see other friends. I know her trip was planned before he started seeing his new girlfriend, as he mentioned it before the holidays. He’s excited to see her again, but I can’t help but think that the new girl wouldn’t be thrilled to learn he’s spending time with his ex, given their history. I’m unsure how much he’s disclosed to the new girlfriend, if anything at all, and I suspect he hasn’t shared the full story. Now, I’m torn. As a good friend, I feel I should advise him to avoid meeting his ex out of respect for his current relationship, especially if he wants that to progress further. However, I also want him to pursue whatever makes him happiest. His excitement about seeing his ex suggests to me that he might still have feelings for her and isn’t fully acknowledging that, especially now that she’s moving closer. Perhaps he needs this meeting to clarify his feelings. So, kind strangers, what should I do? Should I discourage him from seeing his ex for the sake of his current girlfriend, should I support him in reconnecting with her, or should I just let things unfold as they will? TL;DR: My friend and his ex broke up because she moved away. He recently started dating someone else, but I suspect he still has feelings for his ex. She’s visiting soon and moving back closer. Should I advise him against meeting her for the sake of his new relationship, or encourage him to figure out his feelings for her?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 5d ago

Being in a relationship with a man who has a child

I'm a 27-year-old woman, and he's a 29-year-old man with a 2-year-old son. He and the child's mother only dated for a year, and the child was unplanned; they were not married and are now separated. We met online and have been really interested in each other ever since. I've never dated a man with a child before, which is a new experience for me—though I absolutely adore kids. I'm genuinely fond of him and hope to take our relationship further, but I’m concerned about how others might judge us and if this could lead to complications down the road. The truth is, I really, REALLY like him, and I feel like I'm starting to fall for him deeply. Any advice or thoughts on this situation? Or does anyone have a similar experience to share? I would really appreciate it! 🫶🏼


Communication Problems • 5d ago

I'm uncertain about how to interpret my girlfriend.

I’m a 24-year-old guy in a 9-month relationship with my girlfriend, who is also 24. I care for her deeply, but I'm facing some communication challenges, especially when we're apart. When we're together, she shares a lot, like sending me pictures of her nails or bouncing business ideas off me. However, when we're apart, I find out about these things mainly through her social media updates. It feels like the only time she reaches out with enthusiasm is when she needs something from me. I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t play a significant role in her heart—like I’m just filling space until she finds something better. I have to bring up communication issues every couple of weeks. Whenever I assist her with something, she expresses appreciation, but I struggle to believe it since she rarely shows interest in what’s happening in my life. When we’re together, I feel her warmth, but it doesn’t translate to our time apart. Recently, I asked her about her hopes for our relationship this year, and while she shared a few thoughts, she didn’t bother to ask about mine. This leaves me feeling discouraged about bringing up important aspects of my life, since she doesn’t seem to put in the effort to know how I’m doing. For instance, if she asks me how my morning went, that’s often the end of the conversation. Am I being too demanding, or are my concerns valid?


Trust and Jealousy • 5d ago

I’m a 20-year-old man and I just discovered that my 19-year-old girlfriend was untruthful about her past, and I’m really struggling to get over it.

**Title: Discovering My Girlfriend's Lies About Her Past** I’m a 20-year-old guy, and I’ve been dating my girlfriend, who is 19, for about 6 months. When we first met, we weren't anticipating a relationship but ended up getting close. We openly discussed our past hookups and relationships, and I was completely honest with her, assuming she was too. However, a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about her feelings when she first visited my military base. She claimed that it was her first time in the area, but the next day, I discovered that she had over 20 guys blocked on Instagram. Among them were a guy who works in the same building as me and two others stationed nearby. When I confronted her, she initially lied multiple times but eventually admitted that she had been on base before to hook up with at least two guys before we started dating. I was understandably upset that she had not been truthful about her past, especially since I thought we could be open with each other. Still, I chose to move forward, asking her to be honest and acknowledge her mistake since these events occurred before our relationship began. The next day, she requested to talk and revealed that she had still been dishonest. Instead of the 6 partners she mentioned previously, she confessed that her actual number was 16. This revelation caught me completely off guard and shattered my trust once again. She explained that she had pushed the memories of the other 10 encounters aside and didn’t recall them when I had asked about her past. I don’t mind my girlfriend having a history—after all, I have my own (I’ve been with three girls before her). However, it’s tough for me to trust her again after she repeatedly lied. About a week ago, I thought I was starting to move past this situation because she has been loving and faithful while we’ve been together, leading me to forgive her. The problem is, I encounter the guy from work frequently, and each time I see him, I’m hit with the same painful feelings I had when I found out about her lies. I genuinely want to start a family with her, but I'm struggling to move forward from this incident. **TL;DR:** My girlfriend was dishonest about her past hookups, and now I'm unsure how to move past this. Any advice would be appreciated since this is my first serious relationship.


Breakups and Divorces • 5d ago

Looking for guidance on what steps to take.

Hey, I'm a 16-year-old girl, and I was in a loving long-distance relationship for two years. The guy I was seeing even ended his friendship for me. We used to text and call every day until, suddenly, his mom found out at the beginning of January. He told me not to contact him until he was ready. He reached out once, but then seven days ago I accidentally called him, and he called me back right away. I told him I missed him, and we talked for a bit. When I asked him what we should do next, he said it all depends on time since he’s about to start 12th grade and plans to move away for college soon. I’m unsure if it'll be a year or more before he goes, and I can’t tell what he’s really thinking. He’s also blocked me on all platforms except for the occasional contact. Now I'm left wondering if I should wait for him or move on. What should I do?


Work-Life Balance • 5d ago

Disliking my husband's enthusiasm

**”22F”** I'm 22 and happily married to an amazing man who genuinely values my emotions. However, the one challenge in our relationship revolves around his passion for skydiving. Before we met, he practically lived at the drop zone for three years, spending nearly $900 each week. In the early months of our relationship—about 10 months ago—his affection for me was undeniable, but skydiving was always his top priority. He would jump every weekend, spend evenings in the indoor tunnel, and travel to different states every few months for skydiving events. This meant he often missed important family occasions, like my mom’s and brothers’ birthdays, choosing jumps instead of time with loved ones. Over time, he made adjustments and now attends only 1-2 events a year and goes skydiving every two weeks. Yet, I can’t shake the memories of when it consumed him, and it remains a significant trigger for me. I cringe at the mere mention of it. I once joined him at an event and witnessed the intense atmosphere—jumping all day and partying all night with alcohol and drugs. Although my husband tends to avoid those substances, the thought of that environment deeply unsettles me. For the past two months, he hasn’t gone skydiving as we've been concentrating on our marriage, enjoying our honeymoon, and saving for the future. However, he’s now planning a 10-day trip in July, and just the thought of it overwhelms me. Am I wrong for feeling this way?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 5d ago

Help!!! I'm lost on how to flirt with my boyfriend now!

Hi everyone! I'll keep this brief. So, I’m an 18F and I've been dating my boyfriend, who is also 18M, for about six months. We broke up for a little while, but we’ve been back together for around two months now. Overall, things are good, but I feel like our relationship has lost some of its spark and excitement. I’m struggling to flirt with him now, even though I used to be able to do it easily—when we were apart, I could flirt with other guys without a problem! I really want to reignite that passion and excitement in our relationship because I genuinely love him and want us to work out. Does anyone have tips on how I can flirt with him and make him fall for me all over again? What do girls say over text that you guys find appealing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!


Breakups and Divorces • 5d ago

I believe I have a plan, but I would appreciate some advice.

My wife (48) and I (36) have been navigating a divorce. I believe I can't fully mend our relationship until she can let go of my past actions. I'm also focused on taking responsibility for my mistakes while remaining humble in my apologies. Throughout our 15-year relationship, I have emotionally cheated several times. I thought we had resolved these issues, but even though she insists she forgave me for various infractions, she often expresses how hurt she still feels by them. I struggled to accept accountability for my actions, and this led her to reflect on our entire time together, resulting in her perceiving my behavior as abusive and manipulative. I acknowledge that her perception is valid, even if those actions were not intentional. As my therapist points out, "Everyone has their own truth, shaped by their perceptions." Just because I don’t see my actions in the same light doesn’t mean she doesn't perceive them as harmful. Now, a year into this process, I find myself in a position where I never wanted a divorce. After everything unfolded, I opened up completely, allowing her access to everything. She uncovered instances she believes are cheating, along with other things like a single Google search about divorce or paternity. I recognize that I should have cleared my browser history, and she interprets this as proof that I've always wanted a divorce and never trusted her. From my perspective, both of those claims are untrue. We attempted couples therapy, but it was brief, as she decided it wasn't beneficial and chose to stop. I want to work through our issues, particularly for our children. At one time, I was invested in repairing our relationship, and while I still love her, the ongoing "reactive abuse" is diminishing my interest. I've been in therapy throughout this journey, committed to personal growth. I understand I'm far from perfect, and I've come to realize that many of my current struggles originate from childhood abandonment trauma, which is being triggered by her decision to divorce. But whether this situation is my fault, her fault, or simply a series of unfortunate circumstances seems to weigh heavily on her. I'm working on viewing our situation without judgment. We have a back-and-forth dynamic, particularly when she needs support. If she's unwell or needs assistance, I will drop everything to help. I hope that my support is contributing to her well-being, but I also acknowledge that my help primarily consists of caring for the kids and maintaining our family home. I'm uncertain about what to do next. I want to explore the possibility of repairing our relationship, but I find myself questioning whether my desire to be together is for our sake or for the children’s benefit. She may read this and it could lead to further complications. I feel I lack a trustworthy person to discuss these feelings with in real life, apart from my therapist.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 5d ago

Are there any dates that could help me (19F) and my boyfriend (18M) bond more?

My boyfriend and I have been facing some challenges lately. I haven’t been the best partner, but I feel incredibly lucky that he decided to give us another chance today. With that in mind, how can I make today feel more special than a typical day? It’s just a regular workday, and I’ll see him during lunch, followed by spending the evening together at home. What are some activities I can plan for tonight that will help us connect on a deeper level? I’m looking for semi-inexpensive, indoor ideas for our date that will strengthen our bond.


Trust and Jealousy • 5d ago

I discovered that my girlfriend has a past with her best friend and roommate.

I, a 25-year-old female, and my girlfriend, also 25, have been together for over a year, and it's been incredible. We've shared countless adventures and I've never felt more like myself than when I'm with her. Recently, we've been discussing the possibility of moving in together and our future plans. My trust and love for her run deep, and the thought of the life we could create together excites me. However, this weekend, I discovered something that’s been troubling me, and I'm seeking advice on how to navigate it. To provide some background, my girlfriend has a best friend, whom I'll refer to as S, a 25-year-old female who lives with her. They've been best friends for years, and I've grown close to S since we started dating. I was aware of their close bond, like family, so I never thought much about it. That changed this weekend. We were enjoying a cozy evening, cooking dinner, sipping wine, and listening to music. While scrolling through our phones, we stumbled upon an old photo of my girlfriend and S that seemed quite intimate, depicting a romantic dinner together. In jest, I remarked, "Ooh, romantic. Did you guys kiss or something?" She seemed flustered and kept insisting, "Ew, no," but never clearly said no. This struck me as odd, so I teasingly said, "You’re acting like you hooked up or something." Again, she became flustered without definitively denying it. I felt unsettled for the rest of the evening but decided not to press further. After watching a movie, we went to bed, but the following morning, I brought it up again. She still wouldn’t provide a direct answer, suggesting we discuss it later. At that moment, I was anxious and confused. Eventually, she confessed that a few years ago, when they first met, they had hooked up a few times, both regretting it and wishing it hadn't happened. A few times? Naturally, I was upset, especially since it felt like I had to pry the truth out of her after our year together. I would have preferred to know from the start, no matter how uncomfortable it might have been. We talked it over, and she apologized for not disclosing this sooner, explaining that she didn’t want to create tension or risk losing me. However, now that I know, I feel it's important to establish some boundaries. For instance, their shared bed when they travel together makes me extremely uncomfortable. She couldn’t understand why this bothered me, asserting they’re just friends and would never act on anything. But despite knowing they wouldn't now, the thought of her sleeping next to someone she had once been intimate with disturbs me. This situation has prompted me to reevaluate many discussions I've had with both my girlfriend and S over the past year. I'm left questioning things that I previously took for granted. It's a strange predicament I never expected to find myself in.


Toxic Relationships • 5d ago

What’s going on with my friend, and how should I respond?

I (20, female) have been friends with another girl (also 20) since we started college together three years ago. She has faced numerous hardships, including divorced parents due to domestic violence, an absent father, severe daddy issues (which I also relate to), obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, compulsive shopping, and an eating disorder that alternates between anorexia and binge eating. I genuinely liked her, and I still care about her. She has shown me deep affection. However, she recently took actions that I cannot ignore. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend last November because he was verbally and emotionally abusive. That story is long and deserves its own post; suffice it to say, I was ready to end things long before the breakup. My friend was supportive during this tough time, offering reassurance that truly helped. However, two weeks post-breakup, I reconnected with an old flame, and things quickly progressed into dating again. I wouldn’t have moved on so fast if I hadn’t been emotionally detached from my ex since August, and now, I don’t have any regrets. My current boyfriend is supportive, a much better match, and he actually likes me for who I am, which makes me very happy. The issue lies with my friend, who is not genuinely happy for me. At first, I thought she might have been put off by how fast things were moving, which I could understand. But soon, she began acting strangely and obsessively. One day, while my boyfriend and I were having lunch on campus, she asked to join us. Once there, she started insulting him in thinly veiled “jokes,” and when he kissed my hand, she shouted that he was a psychopath who might harm me. When I confronted her later, she dismissed it as a joke, but it certainly didn’t seem that way. My boyfriend later informed me that she had touched him inappropriately while I wasn't looking, which made me furious. I controlled my anger and approached her to discuss what happened, but she denied any wrongdoing. She launched into rants about how the “cool girls” in class supposedly hated us (they don’t), and claimed everyone was jealous of her because, despite being "fat," she had hooked up with one guy and was best friends with another (which she isn’t). She insulted our classmates, calling them ugly and brainless. It was shocking to hear, and I felt physically ill. Then she had the audacity to say she didn’t talk badly about them because she wasn't like them. It was clear she was deeply deluded and arrogant. Her comments about my body have also been weird and unsettling. She often talks about my appearance rather than seeing me as a person. The way she talks is reminiscent of misogynistic men objectifying women, which makes me uncomfortable. While I share my insecurities with her, she fixates solely on how I look, which feels incredibly objectifying and creepy. She's also overly curious about my relationship, asking intrusive questions about how my boyfriend dresses, kisses, and treats me. It’s all quite unsettling. Recently, when my boyfriend visited again, she ordered us to kiss in front of her. My initial reaction was one of disbelief. She insisted he looked like he wanted a kiss. I didn’t want to give her that kind of control, but I felt compelled to kiss him to avoid sending the wrong message. After that, she reverted almost to normal, albeit still ridiculing him. My boyfriend, being the respectful person he is, tries to be polite to my friends, but my best friend ultimately scolded her for her behavior. I was too stunned by her actions to react defensively, and I often take my time to process situations before acting. My best friend and I had made plans, including her, but I started to feel unsafe around her. I asked if I could bring my boyfriend along for safety, and she agreed, expressing concern for my well-being. Then my friend asked if I was acting like a “pick me” because I left a lipstick mark on my boyfriend's cheek. It made me uncomfortable, given that he is my boyfriend; why shouldn’t I mark him? She later acted as if nothing had happened, which should have felt good but just left me feeling distrustful. I’ve even had nightmares about her harming me, and my parents have warned me against accepting anything from her. I feel obligated to forgive her, knowing she has her issues, but I'm struggling with feelings of distrust. What if she turns against me again? It feels like she views me as competition, leaving me feeling unsafe. Am I just being paranoid?


Breakups and Divorces • 5d ago

I lost the one who genuinely cared for me, and I’m at a loss on how to cope with it...

**College Story - (M20)** I'm not quite sure why I'm sharing this, but I need to pour out what I’ve been holding in. It’s been a month since I lost her, and I still can’t seem to move on. I've isolated myself—no friends around, deleted my Instagram, and without distractions like singing or music. It feels like I'm trapped in an endless cycle of regret and pain. **Chapter 1: The Perfect Illusion** I lost her—the one person who loved me wholeheartedly. She was the only girl who truly understood me, who stood by me, fought for me, and made me feel enough. And I messed it all up. She was my first in so many ways—not just romantically, but in life. She was the first person I studied with late into the night, the first girl I danced with in the rain, the first one to see my worst side and still choose me. She took care of me when I was ill, made sure I was eating right, and checked in on me. She was the first to teach me what love really is, motivating and encouraging me through everything. She was the first person I trusted with my deepest secrets and dreams. Now she’s gone, and I don’t know how to cope without her. I used to remember every little detail—the outfit she wore on our first date, the way her face lit up with genuine happiness, her incredible coding skills, and how she'd lie on my chest sharing her dreams. I wrote her letters, made handmade cards, and apologized whenever we argued. She once told me, “This is the best relationship I’ve ever had,” and I believed her. She was my home. We had our special moments—our own songs, our inside jokes, our favorite films. She loved *Jab We Met*, and I even recreated the dance scene from *Tum Se Hi* just to bring her a smile. We had the same birthday week, and we both adored a singer who sadly passed away around that time. All of those small things felt like destiny. But then, I shattered it. Like all couples, we had our fights, but we never let them linger—until one day when we had the worst argument. She accused me of not giving her enough time, that I had stopped putting in the effort. She was right. I was spending more time with friends, thinking she would always be there. I took her for granted. In anger, she broke up with me, and for the first time, she didn’t come back. I assumed it was over, so when another girl from my friend group expressed interest in me, I went along with it. I messed up; I should have known better but was just trying to fill the void. Two days later, my girlfriend wanted to reconcile. That’s when it hit me—I didn’t want anyone else. I cut off the other girl immediately and went back to my girlfriend. However, something had shifted. We began arguing more often. When I asked if she was happy, I foolishly said, “If you’re not happy, you should find someone who understands you better.” That was the worst thing to say. It made her doubt everything, and instead of repairing things, I made another mistake. I started talking to the other girl again, thinking I could handle it. We grew closer, sharing things I should have only shared with my girlfriend. As I confided in her about my struggles, she revealed her past. I let her in at one of my lowest points. Then my girlfriend sent me a long message listing our issues, and I became confused. But soon, I realized that my feelings for the other girl weren’t the same as what I had with my girlfriend. So I told her we should just be friends with limited interaction—nothing more. I stopped talking to the other girl, hoping that would resolve everything. But it was too late. **Chapter 2: The Fall** My girlfriend found out. She called the other girl, who twisted the truth to make me look terrible. She told my girlfriend that I had been leading her on, that I was playing both sides. My girlfriend initially believed her and even manipulated our friends into thinking I was entirely at fault. I can’t deny I was wrong, but so was she. Just like that, I lost it all... At home, my girlfriend felt crushed. When her parents found out, they urged her to stop speaking to me. Despite this, she tried to fix things, and I was trying too, but our past kept resurfacing. We attempted to work through things over a few days, but she still complained and fought with me. Yet, I was determined to reconcile completely. She didn’t leave right away. Knowing our exams were approaching, she stayed to support me. But once our papers ended, she walked away and blocked me on all platforms. I begged, cried, and even resorted to self-harm out of heartbreak. I even shaved my beard for the first time since ninth grade, which had become my confidence. I did it to remind myself of the pain I had caused to someone who only wanted to love me. My family was shocked by my transformation, but it changed nothing. She told me, “You broke my trust. You broke my heart. You broke me,” and added, “I’m 20. I can find someone better than you.” That crushed my spirit. We had been communicating when she was home, and one day she mentioned liking someone else. I didn’t believe her at first, thinking it was a way to push me away, but it turned out to be true. Now she’s with someone new. Today, I saw her, and she talked about the guy she’s dating. My heart sank with every word she spoke, describing how they were bonding, sharing photos, and feeling an undeniable connection. It was like reliving our moments through her descriptions. She talked about their shared ambitions as if it were preordained. I begged her to come back, losing all sense of dignity and self-respect—I desperately want her back. It eats away at me every day. She seems to take pleasure in this, showcasing her new relationship in front of me. She casually mentions everything they do together, even calling him while I’m there, as if to provoke jealousy. It feels like she enjoys making me envious. She had a minor crush on him before, and I can’t help but think that’s the reason she pursued him now. She’s giving him the attention I once received, and I'm left feeling abandoned. I keep questioning if I’m overthinking things or if she’s genuinely connecting with him. Shouldn’t I deserve just one more chance to prove I can be with her and marry her? What hurts even more is that due to my past mistakes and flirty behavior, people labeled me a playboy. Now, my friends, seniors, and her new boyfriend suggest she avoids him because he has a similar reputation. It feels like my self-obsession has led to my downfall, and because of that, I’ve lost everything. **Chapter 3: The Reckoning** The most terrifying thought lingers—will I ever find love again? Will anyone ever love me like she did? Do I even deserve it? I’m unsure what I hope to achieve by posting this. I just need someone to tell me—what should I do now? Should I attempt one last time to reach out? Should I wait, hoping she’ll unblock me? Or should I finally accept that I’ve lost the one person who truly loved me? Any advice or suggestions would mean the world to me.


Family Conflicts • 5d ago

My 27-year-old sister and my 50-year-old mom had a disagreement right before my trip to Thailand.

Firstly, I apologize for any grammatical errors; English is not my first language. To begin, I'm a 21-year-old man, and about a month ago, my 56-year-old father asked me to join him in Thailand. I seized the opportunity to travel, as it has always been a dream of mine. However, this is my first time flying alone, especially on a long 15-hour flight, and I tend to be quite anxious. To help me cope, my 50-year-old mother organized a dinner with my sister, who is 27, and me, followed by a trip to the airport together the next day. We went to a lovely Greek restaurant, and when we got home, I wanted to play one last game with my friends. During the game, my sister and mother ended up arguing. They have a turbulent relationship, as my sister had a troubled adolescence; she ran away, experimented with drugs, stole from my mom, and a lot more. After the game, I went to see what was happening, and they were screaming at each other. I asked them to stop, but they didn’t listen. My sister became very angry and started hurling insults at my mom, calling her "the worst mother." I had only asked them to calm down, but then she directed her anger at me too. My mother and I are really close; my sister was absent for much of my childhood. My sister accused my mom of always protecting me, despite her own absence. I noticed that my sister had dilated pupils, which made me think she might have been using something, and the alcohol certainly didn’t help (I don't drink, but they do). Things escalated when my sister became physical, slapping my mom, who then just pushed her away. I stepped in to intervene, and while my sister calmed down somewhat, she continued to hurl insults before storming out. I can't shake the feeling that this is my fault. I don’t understand how things got so out of control, especially since we had been working to mend our relationships lately. My sister and I had been talking almost every day since my mom's struggles with depression, and now I'm leaving with the guilt of having created this situation when I only wanted to enjoy a nice evening with my family. I have a flight tomorrow, and I'm really seeking some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it makes sense because I don’t have anyone else to talk to.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 5d ago

26-Year-Old Woman Dating a 29-Year-Old Man for Two Months – Is This a Phase of Withdrawal or Something Different?

I’m a 26-year-old woman and have been seeing a 29-year-old guy for two months. Things were going pretty well until we had a disagreement three days ago. Before that, I noticed he started texting me less, but I didn't mention it at first. When I get close to my period, I tend to feel more emotional and needy, so I asked him if he really liked me. That didn’t go over well; he got frustrated and said it felt like I just wanted to fight, and he wasn’t going to engage in that. We eventually managed to talk it out, and I thought we were over the hump. However, the next day (Monday), he didn’t message me at all. I figured he was busy at work, so I reached out to him first. He replied after work, explaining it had been a hectic day. I told him I had dinner with friends, and he seemed surprised, responding, “Oh really? Okay.” That night, I wished him goodnight, but he never replied. Tuesday passed without any word from him. I didn’t reach out either, but I hoped he would. Now it’s Wednesday, and I still haven’t heard back. This morning, I sent him a message, saying, “Hey, I just wanted to check in. I’ve been thinking about you and hope you’re okay.” Still no response. I’m trying to understand what’s going on. I’ve heard that some guys tend to "pull away" in relationships, but is that what’s happening here, or is it something different? Has anyone else dealt with similar behavior early in a relationship? If so, how did you handle it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!


Breakups and Divorces • 5d ago

I (28F) am considering ending my relationship with my boyfriend (28M), but I'm unsure how to have a constructive conversation about the reasons behind my feelings in an effort to salvage our relationship.

**TL;DR: I'm contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend, but I'd like to have a conversation first to discuss our issues and see if we can resolve them.** My main concerns are that he requires too much of my time and attention, and his negativity is becoming overwhelming. We've touched on the first issue, but he tends to get hurt when I mention needing space. The second issue has been harder to address because I struggle with how to tell him that I'm tired of hearing about his unhappiness without coming off as insensitive, and discussions about his anger often turn into arguments about his yelling. I need help on how to communicate these topics effectively and navigate the potential end of our relationship, especially since we live together, share a lease, and have a pet. Thank you for your advice. Please understand that if I come across as cold, it's out of frustration. I've been in this relationship for three years and have lived together for two and a half. I still care about him, but moving in together may have been premature, and I'm thinking about breaking up due to feelings that have been building over time. However, I think it's only fair to talk things through before making a decision. This is my first relationship, so I'm not sure how to go about it. 1. **I need my own space.** When we first started dating, I felt differently, but by the end of the first year, I started feeling frustrated with constantly being together, and that frustration has been growing. My boyfriend doesn't leave the house much—his work hours are shorter than mine, and he’s often unemployed. Most of his activities happen online, and when he does go out, he usually wants me to come along. Our apartment is small, and his presence is always there. He also craves constant conversation. The moment I get home, he jumps up to fill me in on his day, and he communicates with me throughout the day, even if I’m busy. He wants to do everything together, from eating dinner to watching shows, and he talks a lot, which often makes tasks take longer than necessary. I rarely get a chance to express my own thoughts. I need peace and quiet, alone time, and privacy, none of which I currently have. Whenever I've tried to express this need, he feels hurt and suggests I might be trying to push him out of my life. I miss the early days of dating when we could enjoy each other's company without living together. I even proposed the idea of living apart, given our different preferences for where to stay, but he dismissed it, saying I wasn't making sacrifices for our relationship. 2. **His negativity weighs me down.** He often expresses dissatisfaction with work, money, and life in general, which affects our conversations. Although he can be persuaded to try new things, it often comes after a lot of resistance and grumpiness, and he doesn't seem to learn from those experiences. Additionally, he reacts defensively when I point out his anger or yelling. He insists he’s not yelling, even when it’s clear to me that he is. I feel frustrated that I'm unable to communicate these feelings without escalating into a confrontation. I'm nostalgic for the earlier, happier times in our relationship, and I wonder if we had taken more time to develop our bond before moving in together, we might have avoided some of these issues. Now, living together complicates matters; if we argue, there's no real escape, and if we decide to break up, what happens to our lease and our cat? Any advice on how to approach this conversation and handle the aftermath would be greatly appreciated.


Trust and Jealousy • 5d ago

21F and 21M. Is there a solution to this?

Hi, I’m a 21-year-old woman and I've been dating my boyfriend, who is also 21. A couple of days ago, we had a major argument. My boyfriend has expressed interest in threesomes and similar topics. He asked if I had a video of me with my ex, who is 22. I told him no because I genuinely believed I didn’t have any since I recently got a new phone a few months ago and hadn’t transferred much to it. I carry my old phone with me, but I only use it for music. After he kept asking, I finally agreed to check my old phone and ended up finding a video. I mentioned it to him, and he asked me to send it. Despite my instincts telling me this could lead to trouble, I sent it because I wanted to make him happy, as he claimed he was turned on by the idea of seeing me with someone else. Almost immediately after, he asked me to delete it from our chat and became upset about a lot of things, leaving me confused. I wondered why he even wanted to see it in the first place. I know I shouldn’t have sent it, but I did. He was really hurt about various issues, and I’ve tried to explain that I can’t change my past and that my focus is on him and our future together. It’s been a few days now, and his mood swings are really affecting our relationship. He even mentioned that sometimes when he looks at me, he feels like crying.


Work-Life Balance • 5d ago

My partner (37m) is not providing support for my health issues.

Context: We are engaged and have been together for six years. We have a young child and own a home together. I’m currently in a highly stressful job that is causing me high blood pressure and frequent panic attacks. I feel like I’m on the verge of a breakdown. I'm finding it challenging to search for a new job that fits around childcare and my partner's ever-changing hours. I’ve reached a point where I feel I can't handle it anymore, and my partner is unwilling to support me if I choose to quit my job. I take care of household responsibilities, including cooking and cleaning. I prepare dinner for him every day. I’m not neglecting my own well-being or moping around the house, but the demands of my job are overwhelming me, and I'm genuinely concerned for my physical and mental health. I'm not sure what advice I’m seeking, but I’m struggling with the reality of marrying someone who seems to dismiss the commitment of “in sickness and in health.” I don't want to depend on him; I simply need some time to search for another job.


Communication Problems • 5d ago

How can I express my regret without actually saying the words "I'm sorry"?

My boyfriend (19M) and I (18M) have a really close and fantastic relationship, and we just celebrated our four-month anniversary. However, there are times when he gets annoyed, irritated, or quiet if something goes wrong at work, home, or elsewhere. When I do something that bothers him, I often try to apologize, but he responds with comments like, "You should know by now I dislike apologies." This leaves me at a loss for words—I just don’t know how to respond beyond saying I'm sorry. It's a tough situation for me, and it tends to make me shut down. I've asked him what he'd prefer I say instead, but he also doesn’t seem to have an answer. Any advice would be appreciated!


Trust and Jealousy • 5d ago

21-year-old male / 21-year-old female girlfriend has a past with her male friend.

My girlfriend and I had been together for 10 months when she admitted to kissing a close friend of hers a few months prior to our relationship. She reassured me that she never had any romantic feelings for him, but it made me reconsider a previous instance when she mentioned wanting to buy something from him but ended up spending over an hour driving around with him, which struck me as odd at the time. Intrigued about their connection, I reviewed their text messages and found some unsettling exchanges. Before we started dating, she had invited him to spend the night, and at one point, they spoke frequently. She maintains that she never had feelings for him, regrets the kiss, and asserts that they never discussed it again. While I can't alter what occurred before we met, what frustrates me is that she continued to make an effort to see and spend time with him while we were together. I've already tried to end things twice because I view her actions as a form of cheating; it’s hard to believe a girl would invite a guy over for a sleepover without some underlying attraction. She became distressed, insisting she doesn't want to be seen that way and believes we can still make it work, but honestly, I feel foolish for sticking around. Should I break up with her because I see this as cheating, or should I stay and hope she proves that she won’t engage in this behavior anymore?


Trust and Jealousy • 5d ago

34F in a long-term relationship with my best guy friend, who is 29M, for 11 years.

I have a friend whom I've known for years; we met in 2015 at work. That's also where I met my ex. Throughout my relationship, my best friend was always my rock, offering support and a shoulder to cry on. When I finally broke up with my ex, things took an unexpected turn. My best friend started flirting with me, and I went along with it until he suggested we get a hotel room. That caught me off guard, and I ended up ghosting him, feeling like he was treating me as if I were just another girl. Fast forward to 2024, and we've reconnected. We text every day, he sends me good morning messages, and tells me I'm beautiful. We spend hours watching movies on FaceTime, and he's persistent in reaching out if I don’t reply. I've started developing feelings for him. However, there's a complication: he’s active on Hinge and has been dating a girl. He talks to me about their dates, and I give him advice as his friend, but he keeps mentioning that this summer I can come to his place for the weekend because he has a pool, and he often offers to do things for me. I asked him how he thinks our friendship will work if he ends up in a serious relationship, and he confidently told me that I'm not going anywhere in his life, even if he falls in love. I replied, "I guess we'll see," but it's becoming increasingly difficult for me to handle his connection with this girl. Hearing the details he shares is really hard, yet I haven't found the courage to tell him how I feel. Just last night, we were finishing a movie on FaceTime after he returned from a date. The moment I picked up, his first words were, "Wow, you look so pretty." I thanked him, and then he asked, "How are you not married yet?" That really caught me off guard and left me feeling quite shaken.


Communication Problems • 5d ago

I'm seeking guidance.

I'm a guy (18M) and she's a girl (18F), and I need some advice. At first, everything was great, but she's changed a lot. She's started lying to me, and she doesn't give me much attention anymore. I often feel unsure; she acts like she doesn't like me, but at the same time, it seems like she does. When we hang out, she's usually on her phone or asleep, and I find myself begging for just a little bit of her attention. I'm wondering if she still loves me.


Communication Problems • 6d ago

My girlfriend didn't seem to care about the one thing I requested for Christmas. Am I overreacting?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I've noticed that she's not particularly great at giving gifts. It’s not about being materialistic; rather, she tends to lack thoughtfulness when it comes to choosing gifts or doing something meaningful for me, despite my efforts to be considerate with hers. This year, understanding that she's been low on funds, I told her not to worry about getting me anything. The only thing I truly wanted was for her to play my favorite video game with me. It's a cherished part of my childhood, and sharing that experience felt significant to me. She agreed, but when we finally sat down to play, she was negative the entire time, only lasted about 15 minutes, and then wanted to move on to something else. I tried to overlook it, but honestly, it was disappointing. It wasn't really about the game; I just wanted to share something important to me with her, and it felt like she couldn't even make an effort to engage for more than a few moments. When I mentioned it later, she brushed it off as if it didn’t matter. Now I’m left wondering if I’m overreacting or if this points to a deeper issue in our relationship. Would this be a deal-breaker for you?


Trust and Jealousy • 6d ago

My boyfriend who struggles with insecurity.

A few months ago, I entered a relationship with my boyfriend, and recently he has become increasingly insecure about my Instagram posts. He wants me to delete all of them because he thinks I look too attractive. I’m not revealing anything too provocative—just showing off my curvy body a little. Meanwhile, he’s posting what can only be described as his hottest pictures, with most of them being shirtless, and there aren’t many where he’s actually wearing clothes! He follows every girl on Instagram, and when I asked him about it, he said it was good for his reach. I requested that he stop, but he refused, explaining that he’s been doing this since he was single. I pointed out that he’s no longer single and that this behavior hurts me, but he’s focused on becoming an influencer and insists on following back every girl. I feel like I’m not his type since I have a curvy body, and he often sends me pictures of other girls, commenting on how cute or hot they are. He seems to find every lean girl attractive, which is starting to make me dislike my body. I’m about to turn 21, and I really need some advice on what to do in this situation.