Relationship advices

My Girlfriend (45F) Keeps Giving Me Wedgies (18M)

For context, she is my mom’s former colleague, and we began chatting after I turned 18, so there's nothing inappropriate about our relationship. Over the past six months, she's taken to sneaking up behind me and giving me wedgies, which means she pulls my underwear up into my backside. I've asked her to stop multiple times, but she hasn’t listened. I realize it may sound trivial, but she’s significantly taller and stronger than I am—5’11 compared to my 5’4. What would be an effective way to express that this bothers me?

Obvious object of desire: when to walk away.

I'm a 34-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 35. We've been together for two years, and I’m currently pregnant. Unfortunately, my sex drive has completely diminished, and intimacy has become painful for me. Despite knowing how I feel, my boyfriend insists on having sex. I used to give in and just lie there, but it left me feeling degraded and less attracted to him, as if I were merely a sexual object. Recently, I've been firm about saying no. We've had open discussions about it, and he admits that he feels frustrated and deprived. I told him that I've never felt obligated to have sex in a relationship before. He seemed surprised that my previous partners didn’t cheat on me. Now I'm left wondering if I should end this relationship. I’m expecting a child with him and I also have another child from a previous relationship with whom he shares a close bond. Should I stay for the sake of the kids and hope he changes his mindset? I’ve raised concerns about what would happen if one of us faced an illness that prevented sex, but he just brushes it off. His perspective seems immature to me, and I don’t want to be with someone who views me solely as a sexual partner, nor do I want a relationship that centers around sex.

Guidance

I'm on a date with my ex at the movies, and we're trying to rekindle our relationship. So far, the date has been going well. While watching the film, she brings up her son, mentioning that he doesn’t like to leave the house. I suggest it’s probably because he has a PS5 at home and feels more comfortable there; I can relate since I was a kid once too. Then she adds, “I wish he would leave the house sometimes, so I could have company over.” I can’t help but feel that she might be referring to someone other than me, which is strange since I've spent time with her both with and without her kid. Am I overthinking this, or is there something more to it?

finding it hard to accept his truths

To sum it up: I was single with a child after two long-term relationships that ended unsuccessfully. I thought I would have to settle for someone who was merely “acceptable.” All I wanted was a man who could be faithful, wasn’t an alcoholic, and didn’t belittle me—seemed like a reasonable request. Then, I met a man and fell for the version of him he presented. After five months of getting to know each other and merging our lives, we got engaged. Just a week into our engagement, I discovered I was pregnant, but sadly, I miscarried shortly thereafter. I felt heartbroken and let down, but my fiancé supported me completely during that time. Fast forward to six months later: I took another pregnancy test and felt a wave of happiness—until I found out that three months into our relationship, he had cheated on me. It wasn’t just emotional; it involved sex with another woman and sharing explicit messages with several others. This revelation made me question how well I really knew him. I reached out to the other woman for details, but unsurprisingly, she didn’t respond. We had a conversation where I expressed my feelings of distrust, but I was willing to try to move forward. A month later, I learned that the other woman had contacted him to inform him I had reached out. His reaction shocked me: “If you talk to her, please tell her it was just one time.” Finding that text led me to question why he felt the need to plead with her if it were indeed the truth. He maintained his stance, and that’s where things stood. Just two days after uncovering this information, I had another miscarriage. When I first discovered his infidelity, my instinct was to focus on our pregnancy and think about staying together for the child. I realize now that my past experience, staying in an unsatisfactory relationship for the sake of a child, influenced that impulse. Despite his claims of honesty, he hid the fact that the other woman reached out to him, and he even called her to instruct her on what to say to me. I've caught him in lies that date back to before our first date. In conclusion, trust is elusive for me now. I doubt I’ll ever believe it was just a one-time mistake, no matter how many reassurances he gives. I’m at a crossroads—either I accept being with someone capable of causing me such pain and who still can’t be truthful, or I risk upheaving my life. I’m struggling with this decision, as I don’t want to become a martyr in my marriage. Is it possible for me to move past this uncertainty?

(19M) I've developed feelings for a friend (18F) I recently met at a school seminar. Over the past two weeks, I've sensed a strong connection between us, and I believe she might feel the same way. Should I express my feelings to her?

She (18F) and I (19M) met at a seminar at school, and by the last day, we really clicked. Since then, our relationship has been wonderful. I invited her out three days later to play badminton and just have a good time, and we genuinely enjoyed ourselves—no awkward moments, just the pleasure of each other's company. That's also when I started to feel attracted to her, as I’d never met anyone who appreciated my company quite like she does. Now, I'm torn about whether or not to express my feelings. Honestly, I'm not ready to officially pursue a relationship yet, but I don't want her (or myself) to think I'm only interested in friendship. I really want something deeper, but considering we've only known each other for about two weeks, it feels a bit premature. I’m thinking of telling her on our next outing that I’m attracted to her but not ready to court her yet since we don’t know each other well enough and I need more time. Should I go ahead and tell her this, or should I hold off? I'm nervous about her reaction, and I might be overthinking her feelings toward me. What should I do?

I'm looking for assistance with my relationship situation.

I'm a 24-year-old guy, chatting with a 24-year-old woman. We've been seeing each other for about a month. The first two weeks were fantastic—we texted constantly, spent a lot of time together, and had plenty of flirtation. We discussed our views on relationships and discovered how much we aligned on what partners should be to each other. She mentioned that she had never liked anyone as much as she likes me and enjoys our time together. We went on three dates without sharing a kiss. She's never had a boyfriend before but has been intimate with one person. She wanted to take things slowly, which I was perfectly okay with since I have substantial relationship experience. After our third date, we decided to go get a Christmas tree as a sort of fourth outing. Once we brought it back to my place and settled on the couch, I leaned in to kiss her. Though a bit nervous since it had been over a year since her last kiss, she kissed me back. We hugged to ease the tension, and then a minute later, we shared another kiss—this one was incredible and felt like we were making out. She expressed how happy she was that I kissed her, saying she was planning to do it if I hadn't. As it was time for her to leave—I had to get to work—we shared another kiss in the elevator and said goodbye. Everything felt fantastic, and we texted all night about the amazing kisses and butterflies we both felt. We made plans for the next day to watch Christmas movies, decorate the tree, and attend a lantern festival about an hour and a half away. The next morning, she messaged me saying we should skip the festival because it would be too cold and too far away. I was a bit disappointed but still excited to see her and watch movies. When she arrived, something felt off. I opted for a hug instead of a kiss. After we set up the tree, I suggested visiting a Christmas light display afterward since it would be closer. She said maybe but that we needed to talk first. Then she told me, "I think we need to be friends." My heart sank. We talked through her reasons: she felt things were moving too fast, wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and wanted to just be friends—no kissing or flirting, but we could still hold hands and cuddle. We spent a few hours hanging out, cuddled up on the couch watching movies, while I fought back tears. It felt so right between us, and I couldn't understand why she wanted to step back. Now, about two weeks have passed. She's brought up the "friends" thing several times, yet we still cuddle and hold hands when we're together. She has expressed being scared and mentioned she's a "friends to lovers" type of person. I'm left feeling confused and somewhat hurt, questioning if I’m just a way for her to enjoy free dates or if she genuinely intends to be friends until she feels ready for a relationship. I want to continue pursuing her, but I'm unsure whether to strictly act as a friend or to maintain some level of romantic or flirty behavior. I could really use some advice.

I (M20) often feel like I'm always in second place to my girlfriend's (F19) friend.

I need to express something that’s been weighing heavily on me. My girlfriend has a male friend who seems to be consistently present for all her significant “firsts.” Whether it’s trying out new activities, visiting special places, or even celebrating small milestones, he’s often the person she shares those experiences with first. For instance, she recently wanted to try out a new activity, and instead of us experiencing it together, she chose to do it with him. This isn’t the first time this has occurred. I try to make an effort, yet it always feels like he’s one step ahead. He makes grand gestures and plans for her, and is simply...always around. I know they’re just friends, and I trust her, but it still hurts. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I’ll always be in second place when it comes to these significant moments in her life. I want to be the one she shares those experiences with, but it often seems like I’m not. I’m not angry; I’m just sad. It makes me feel inadequate, as if I’m not the partner she needs for those “special” occasions. I understand that relationships are not a contest, but it’s difficult not to feel this way when it’s a recurring issue. I’ve tried discussing it with her, but it always seems to get brushed aside, only to resurface later. I don’t want to come off as jealous or controlling; I just feel lost. How can I stop feeling overshadowed by him? How can I find a way to make peace with this situation? I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I just needed to share what’s been on my mind.

My boyfriend (M23) playfully teases me (F21)?

I've been seeing this guy for a few months now, and he's always been incredibly sweet. He goes out of his way for me, showers me with compliments, and makes me feel special—essentially the ideal boyfriend. We've never had an argument, and our communication about any concerns has been great. However, there's been something concerning lately that I've hesitated to bring up with him. It started a few days ago when he kept playfully slapping my leg. Then, he did this thing where he shaped his hand like a claw and slammed it down on my thigh. It was painful, and I felt like it could leave bruises. I had to ask him to stop about three times. A day or two later, while we were drinking with friends, he removed the rubber tips from my crutches and threw them at me—keeping in mind that I have a broken foot and he has been helping me a lot. The hard tips hit my face and upper body, which wasn't pleasant at all. I jokingly asked, "Why do you like hurting me?" but he just walked away. Today, while we were sitting on the couch, he charged into me, and my side hit the wooden frame beneath the cushion. My ribs still hurt from it. When I told him it hurt, he replied with, "What are you going to do about it?" I said, "I guess just be in pain." Then he went to grab our food. When he dropped me off at home, he playfully punched my arm, and we went back and forth for a bit until he stopped. I'm feeling unsure about the whole situation. I don't want to be overdramatic, but I never imagined he could be physically aggressive. I’ve been in a physically abusive relationship before, and I'm worried about the similarities in how those situations started. I could use a second opinion on this.

Do men overlook good women?

We ended our relationship last night on amicable terms. Though we had our reasons for breaking up, we both feel content with the decision. Unfortunately, our differing beliefs mean we can’t be together in the future. It’s not a bad thing; we made this choice for our own good, and I’m proud of the maturity we showed by parting ways before any wounds could deepen. When we started dating two months ago, I was the supportive partner who listened and helped him, even though I wasn’t fully prepared for a relationship. I took the risk of not breaking his heart, and while I don’t regret it, I’ve always been the one trying to be perfect for him. I used to apologize before going to bed, in case I’d upset him. I hope I don’t sound like I’m complaining, but I really did strive to be the ideal partner—fun-loving, always laughing, and celebrating moments like his birthday. He often told me I brought him peace, and I made sure he never felt sad or hurt. When we decided to end things on good terms, he seemed calm, though I noticed he was upset and even cried in front of me. My biggest fear is that he’ll forget me easily. It often feels like men don’t forget the ones who hurt them, but I was never that person for him. I wanted to be the one who made him feel a little pain over my absence, but I simply can’t do that. I’m someone who enjoys being a source of peace for others, not their source of distress. Yet, I know I struggle to forget those who have hurt me; it's part of human nature. So, will he truly forget me easily? I wonder if he’ll ever remember how good I was to him. He’s not the type to overlook someone’s kindness, but we often remember negative experiences more than the positive ones. Will he reflect on how he felt comforted in my embrace, or will he only remember the pain caused by his past relationships? I’d really like to know.

I'm unsure if my girlfriend is keeping something from me...

I'm a 20-year-old female, and my girlfriend, also 20 and female, and I both share our TikTok content. Throughout our one-year relationship, we've been open about checking each other's phones. Recently, I was about to switch to her secondary TikTok account (she has one where she posts regularly and another that she doesn't use), when I noticed a different account that I was already aware of from months ago. At the time, it had no posts or followers. However, when I checked it again, it had gained around 500 likes and some followers. I was intrigued, but the only post on that account had been set to private. It followed a trend called "seeing the TV glow." One comment sought clarification on the meaning of the TikTok, and someone replied that it was related to being transgender. My girlfriend liked those comments that connected to being transgender and dismissing it. One of her comments mentioned that it took her a lot of courage to share the post. The content seemed to express that while she feels comfortable with who she is now, she still occasionally experiences that "glow." What puzzles me is that she never mentioned any of these feelings to me, yet she chose to share them on TikTok. I was planning to approach it casually by asking, "Hey, I noticed your account has 500 likes but no posts. Why didn’t I see anything?" However, when I tried to look up her account to take a screenshot of the likes and followers, it didn’t appear. The username I used was correct, which implies she may have blocked me from seeing the account before she posted anything. If I'm not mistaken, I think I used to follow that account too. Now, I'm at a loss on how to bring this up with her. She has gotten upset with me in the past for checking my phone, but I'm not angry; I’m just confused. Why wouldn’t she share something like this with me, and why block me? I thought we were completely open with each other about everything, even the things we found hard to say. It feels odd that she felt unable to talk to me about this. I’m not entirely sure what I'm seeking in terms of advice, but any thoughts or perspectives would really help.

My boyfriend, who is 20, wants to take a 3-month break after I, a 19-year-old female, called him a bad boyfriend during a heated argument.

My partner and I had an argument a few days ago because he brought up someone I can't stand. I told him how I feel, but he insisted he wouldn't cut ties with them, even though we’ve been together longer than he’s known this person. He said he would never end a friendship just because I dislike them. This individual has tried to interfere in our relationship several times. In the heat of the moment, I ended up calling him a bad boyfriend, which I now regret, especially since it led him to suggest we take a break. For some background, he has called me names when drunk and accused me of being insecure when I expressed discomfort about his friendship with someone he used to like. Additionally, he often does the bare minimum in our relationship while I put in a lot more effort, and he has admitted that I'm more invested than he is. I know I deserve better, yet I still love him deeply and feel uncertain about what to do. He is the first person I’ve felt this way about, and he was so different at the start. How can I move on from this?

Is it time to end my relationship with my girlfriend?

I’m a 28-year-old man in a relationship with my girlfriend, who is 22, for about a year. It seems clear that she’s thinking about a future together, possibly marriage, but I’m not on the same page. This is my first relationship, so I lack experience. I’ve made some impulsive choices in the past, which makes me question whether I should trust my instincts or wait to see if my feelings evolve. I’m finishing my Master's degree this upcoming spring and am considering potential job opportunities that might require relocation. My girlfriend has faced some trauma around Christmas, and the thought of adding to that by breaking up with her just before the holiday makes me feel terrible. I haven't brought this up with her yet. Should I discuss how I feel, or is it better to end things now so we can both move forward?

I could use some advice on how to handle my situation with my ex. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

I haven't had any contact with my ex for the past six months. Recently, she broke up with her boyfriend, so I decided to reach out. We've been chatting for a few days now, but she doesn't want anyone to know we're talking. She mentioned that a lot of her friends have issues with me, which could cause drama. On top of that, she's talking to another guy but claims she doesn’t want to get into a relationship with anyone. Still, she wants to keep speaking to both that guy and me in secret. I'm feeling confused about what to do, especially since we were together for a year and a half, and I still have strong feelings for her. Any advice would be appreciated.

Developing feelings for someone new while attempting to move on from a past relationship.

It's been a year since my four-year relationship ended, and every day since has felt like a challenge. I can hardly believe it's been this long. The breakup was intensely painful, and not a single day goes by without thoughts of him and the sorrow he left behind. I've prayed countless times to let him go and move forward, but it hasn’t been an easy process. In the midst of this struggle, Phil, a friend from high school, came back into my life. We had already reconnected before my relationship fell apart, but he became my anchor in the aftermath. We bonded over our shared experiences of heartbreak and many other topics, and he turned into my pillar of support when I felt like I couldn’t rely on anyone else. The loss of mutual friends with my ex made Phil's friendship even more significant to me. As time went on, Phil and I grew exceptionally close. With him, everything feels effortless—comfortable and safe. We share so many laughs, and it’s been a long time since I experienced that kind of joy. However, I’ve started developing feelings for him, and that scares me. Given what I went through, the prospect of opening my heart to someone again, even someone as wonderful as Phil, feels risky. I’m terrified of losing him, too. I don't intend to admit my feelings anytime soon. The fear of losing yet another close friend outweighs everything else. Still, I'm struggling to figure out how to handle this situation. Oddly enough, despite everything my ex put me through, a part of me still holds onto love for him—the connection was so deep, and he was my first love. When I like Phil, I feel guilty, even though I know it’s not wrong. I also question whether Phil likes me back; there's chemistry sometimes, but I'm hesitant to let myself feel it fully. I've started to distance myself from Phil, though I worry that might hurt him. What should I do?

27-year-old female, 35-year-old male: I'm feeling really disrespected by my partner.

**27/F & 35/M** We welcomed our second baby in July, and I've been focusing on my weight. Despite my friends and family assuring me that I'm making progress, I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin and struggle with self-consciousness. Today, my spouse and I had a small disagreement. I asked for some help around the house, but I might have come across the wrong way. He is really into gaming and spends his mornings playing until lunch, takes a break for a few hours, and then continues gaming after dinner. It feels overwhelming! I gently asked if he could lend a hand instead of being glued to his gaming console. He agreed but told me to hold on for a minute. Earlier this morning, I was on the computer looking up weight loss recipes when he snapped, "What about you, fatass? You were on the computer this morning!" I was furious and wanted to unleash my frustration on him, but I would never do that in front of our kids. It really hurts to hear him say things like that, especially when I'm working so hard to lose weight. Then, after realizing I was upset, he tried to play it off by saying he was just kidding. 😡

How can I (38F) find a compromise with my boyfriend (34M) regarding playing with my hair?

How can I (38F) reach a compromise with my boyfriend (34M) about his hair-twirling? My boyfriend (34M) and I (38F) have been together for three years, both bringing three kids from previous relationships, and we live apart. From the start of our relationship, he has enjoyed playing with my hair, which I initially found special and intimate. However, over time, I’ve noticed that he twirls the hair of everyone around him—his kids, my kids, and even the children of close friends. This has diminished the intimacy of his actions for me, to the point where I feel turned off when he twirls my hair, especially during moments of closeness like cuddling on the couch or when I’m giving him oral pleasure. I’ve expressed to him several times that I would prefer him to touch my body or scalp in a way that feels more like an appreciation of me, rather than just my hair. He argues that he can’t help it because it’s intimate for him, comparing it to how I might rub his back, which I believe is a more conscious and intentional act than simply twirling hair absentmindedly. This difference in perspective has led to interruptions during intimate moments and has sparked disagreements between us. I’m at a crossroads about whether I should begin to view my hair as an extension of my body, or if he should refrain from twirling my hair during those intimate occasions. On a related note that might be influencing my perception: about a year ago, a neighboring mother confronted us, saying he should stop touching her daughter’s hair because that’s how she was groomed, which eventually led to her sexual assault as a child.

I believe my girlfriend has left me because of hormonal changes.

Subject: Heartbroken Over Sudden Changes in My Relationship Hi, I'm reaching out because my girlfriend recently broke up with me and asked me to move out after discovering she was pregnant. I’m 27, and she’s 25. We've always shared a close bond and enjoyed a good relationship, despite the typical ups and downs that come with stressful times at work. However, in the last couple of months, my work situation has become challenging. I've been paired with an alcoholic colleague who makes everything more difficult, leaving me to handle most of the work on my own. His behavior has been pushing me to drink again, which I had issues with in the past. I’m stuck in endless conversations with him that are driving me crazy while balancing all the driving and paperwork. Despite all this, I’ve made an effort to be a good partner. However, my girlfriend’s attitude towards me changed dramatically out of nowhere. She stopped being affectionate, distanced herself emotionally, and began making manipulative comments. For example, when I quietly whispered to her at night, she insisted I was shouting. This has been the pattern for about two months. Then a few days ago, she called me at work in tears, revealing she was pregnant. When I got home, she was missing. Later, I found out she had gone to the cinema, which upset me. I waited for her to return, and when I finally checked on her around 11:30 PM, she was asleep on the couch. I took care of her by bringing her water, removing her makeup, and getting her pajamas ready. However, once again, she accused me of shouting while I was merely whispering. Frustrated and overwhelmed, I snapped and ended up punching the fridge. I know it was wrong, but after working tirelessly for 54 days straight and dealing with my girlfriend's harsh words, my emotions came to a head. Now, she has left me, and it's been hard to process her mood swings—one moment she seems fine and engaging, then suddenly switches to being distant and unkind. I can’t help but wonder if she might realize that her behavior was influenced by hormonal changes once the pregnancy ends and hope she will want to reconcile. I feel completely heartbroken, having lost my girlfriend, our dogs, our home, and the baby we might have had together. Our relationship was strong until she found out she was pregnant (she’s about eight weeks along), and since then, things took a downward turn. I'm devastated, struggling to eat, sleep, and coping with dark thoughts. I miss her deeply and want to know what I can do to address this situation. Thank you for any advice or insights you might have.

My boyfriend believes that therapy will help him change.

He’s a 25-year-old man who has a lot to work on, and as a 21-year-old woman, I’ve been encouraging him to seek therapy. He often insists that the patterns he struggles with are an inherent part of who he is, and he fears that therapy might change him. However, his triggers keep coming up during our arguments, and I don’t want to take on the role of a therapist in our relationship. Does this mean I’m more in love with his potential than with him? (He believes that’s the case.) I’d appreciate some different perspectives on this situation.

Long-Distance Relationship Without Communication

I'm currently facing a challenging situation. I've been in an online relationship for the past 1.5 years with someone I truly care about ('20F' and '24M). We've connected through video calls and chats but haven’t met in person yet. He just got a job as a police officer and starts his training tomorrow. Unfortunately, phones aren’t permitted at the training camp, which means we won't be able to communicate during that time. We were planning to meet this Christmas, but those plans have changed. He’s starting his training tomorrow, and I’m feeling really anxious about how I’ll cope with the next year. I would appreciate any advice or support.

Is one month too soon for this pace in a relationship?

Is it too soon to spend the night at your significant other’s place after just a month of dating? And sharing a bed as well? What do you think?

Exploring Situationships: Navigating the Gray Zone of Contemporary Dating

Situationships – that ambiguous territory between a full-fledged relationship and something casual that many of us seem to fall into at some point. They can be messy and perplexing, often leaving us questioning our own choices and intentions. Recently, it appears that situationships have become the norm in the dating landscape. Perhaps it’s driven by a fear of commitment, a desire to keep options open, or simply a breakdown in communication. But let’s face it: it’s not always enjoyable. You might find yourself asking: Are we exclusive? Do they genuinely care about me, or am I just an option? Why can’t we just put a label on this? On one side, situationships can offer a relaxed and adaptable vibe. You’re just enjoying each other’s company, right? Yet, on the flip side, they can be exhausting, especially when one person desires more than what the other is ready to offer. So, let’s discuss: 1. Are situationships a natural outcome of today’s dating scene, or are they simply a result of poor communication? 2. Have you experienced a situationship? What was the outcome? 3. Any tips for moving from ambiguity to clarity? I’m eager to hear your insights!

Developing feelings for someone while trying to move on from another?

It's been a year since my four-year relationship ended, and every day has been a challenge. I still can’t believe how long it’s been. The breakup was profoundly painful, and not a day passes that I don’t think of him and the sadness he left me with. I've prayed countless times to move on and forget him, but it's proven difficult. In the midst of this, Phil, a high school friend, came back into my life. We had reconnected before the breakup, but after everything crumbled, he became my lifeline. We bonded over our shared experiences of heartbreak, among other things. He became my pillar of support when I didn’t feel I could rely on anyone else. The loss of mutual friends with my ex only made Phil's presence even more significant. As time went on, Phil and I grew incredibly close. With him, everything feels easy—comfortable and safe. We share so many laughs, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that kind of happiness. But now I find myself developing feelings for him, and it frightens me. Given my past, the thought of opening my heart to someone again, even someone as great as Phil, feels risky. I’m terrified of losing him too. I don’t plan to reveal my feelings. The fear of losing yet another best friend is overwhelming. But at the same time, I’m unsure how to handle this situation. Despite all the pain my ex caused me, a part of me still feels attached to him, and I have no idea if Phil feels the same way about me. I’ve started to distance myself from Phil out of worry. My thoughts are all over the place. What should I do?

What should I buy my boyfriend for our first Christmas together?

It's our first Christmas together, and he mentioned that he’s spent over £50 on me. I’d like to match that amount for him, aiming to neither overwhelm nor underwhelm him. I appreciate that he shares his interests and passions with me. However, he often buys himself what he wants, so I need to be cautious to avoid getting him something he might end up treating himself to instead. I’m looking for ideas that he hasn’t explicitly mentioned, so I have a broader selection to choose from. Thanks!

Four months in, and there's still been no intimacy.

I'm a 25-year-old male, and my girlfriend, who is 20, and I have been together for four months in a committed relationship. Despite our connection, we have not yet had sex, and I find myself growing increasingly frustrated. I’m trying to be understanding, as she is a virgin and I have had multiple partners in the past. In my experience, even when I was 15, I was intimate with a girlfriend who was also a virgin, and it only took us about a week and a half of dating to take that step. Normally, I wouldn’t wait this long, but I genuinely like this girl and see a future with her, which is why I haven’t ended things. I’ve discussed my feelings with her, and she understands my frustrations. She has mentioned wanting to be more open-minded, yet there hasn’t been much change. I feel torn; I don’t want her to feel pressured, but I’m also frustrated by the continual rejection. We’ve had some sleepovers, but aside from light kissing, nothing advances further. She has expressed that she wants her first time to be with me but isn’t ready and isn’t sure when she will be. I plan to have a heart-to-heart with her about this tonight, as it hasn’t been addressed in a while. What are some suggestions for what I should say or ask during this conversation?

Am I being dramatic?

Last night, my boyfriend (28/M) and I (23/F) were just about to drift off to sleep when our neighbors started making a lot of noise during their intimate moments. When I heard her scream, I noticed my boyfriend was getting aroused. I didn’t say anything, and we ended up being intimate too because he was turned on. I get that it’s a natural response, and I should just move on, but honestly, it left me feeling uneasy and ashamed about my reaction. Any thoughts?

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