Relationship advices

My boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) have decided to end our relationship due to our differing religious beliefs. Is there a possibility for us to make this work in the long run?

My boyfriend and I come from different backgrounds—I'm Hindu and he's Muslim. We met six months ago and instantly felt a strong connection, which quickly blossomed into love. We are both in the same college and study the same field, and our time together has been incredibly happy. However, about a month ago, he became very upset and suggested that we shouldn't continue our relationship. I was heartbroken because we had barely begun our journey together, and he had expressed his love for me and his desire to marry. I view our relationship as something long-term; I want to build a future with him. Although we're living abroad, away from our families, we could easily enjoy each other's company and experience all the closeness that comes with a committed relationship. However, he emphasized the importance of thinking about the future, which made me realize that we might be setting ourselves up for heartache if we can't find a way to align our aspirations. He explained that our families' happiness matters a lot to both of us, and continuing the relationship without a clear future could lead to emotional pain. His caution made me feel sad, angry, and a bit unjust, mainly because I wasn't as concerned about the long-term implications. I wanted to focus on cherishing the present and loving him wholeheartedly. After an open and honest conversation, we reluctantly agreed to part ways to avoid further hurt down the line, but also expressed a desire to reconnect in the future if circumstances allowed. As his first love, this situation is particularly emotional for me. There were moments of insecurity, and I wondered if he might be seeing someone else, but he reassured me, clearing up my doubts. We had created such a beautiful bond, and ending things like this has been incredibly difficult. Despite my inability to think long-term and my desire to stay by his side, I'm reaching out for advice. Is there a chance we could find a way to work things out in the future? Any insights or guidance would be appreciated.

Parents disapprove of long-distance relationships.

Hello everyone, I'm a 22-year-old male (M22) currently in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful 21-year-old girl (F21). We've been together for a year and a half, and I’d like to share my situation with you—apologies if my English isn’t perfect. We both live in Italy and met after she attended an event nearby. Our communication started through text, and after a couple of weeks, I shared our budding relationship with my parents, who were initially supportive. Eventually, we became a couple, and after a month, I visited her, where my parents also had the opportunity to meet her. Following this meeting, however, my parents began to express doubts about her. They started critiquing her appearance and even asked mutual acquaintances about her character, despite not knowing her personally. I want to clarify that she comes from a good family and has always treated me with love and respect. She is supportive and understanding, and our bond is strong. Her parents have embraced me like a son, and we often communicate via video calls. Unfortunately, my parents view our relationship as unattainable due to the distance and have unfounded concerns that she is not sincere. This despite the fact that both her family and friends are aware of and support our relationship. They have even objected to us sharing pictures together on social media, despite me having their consent. I've attempted to limit what my parents can see online, but others still fill them in, leading to them expressing their displeasure. They believe it reflects poorly on me, which I fail to understand, as she is my girlfriend. I've discussed this situation with her, and it genuinely hurts her. Despite the negativity, we remain committed to each other and are determined to make it work. However, my parents consistently criticize her without understanding the depth of our relationship. Conversations often escalate into arguments, and they show no desire to accept her or get to know her family. Throughout this ordeal, my girlfriend and her family have been a source of support for me, which sometimes feels more reliable than my relationship with my own parents. It’s puzzling because I generally have a good relationship with them, except when it comes to this issue, where they are inexplicably intrusive. Last summer, my girlfriend and I planned a day out with her parents, which my own parents took poorly, despite me informing them of our plans. This leads to arguments whenever I return home after spending time with her. They claim to have heard "rumors" about her family, which are baseless, and their refusal to listen to my reassurances is disheartening. A few months ago, my mother even managed to get my girlfriend's mother’s phone number to argue with her directly, telling her to advise her daughter to stop seeing me. This was not only inappropriate but hurtful, and it upset both my girlfriend and her mother immensely. More recently, my father took it upon himself to show up at my girlfriend’s house to confront her parents while they were away, which shocked both her and me. This kind of behavior feels like an infringement on our autonomy as adults, and I have tried to explain this to my father, but he doesn’t seem to understand. My girlfriend and I are feeling the strain of the situation, but we continue to support one another. We are also backed by friends and her family who understand our commitment to each other. It’s disheartening to see such outdated mentalities still prevalent in society today. This ongoing issue has left me feeling desperate for change, as nothing seems to sway my parents' opinions. I’ve even considered moving out to escape the negative atmosphere and regain some peace in my life. It’s difficult, but I just want to lead a stress-free life where I feel understood and supported by my family. Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post. I welcome any advice or perspectives you might have.

Looking for guidance on how to address my partner.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now, and lately, I've noticed that she likes a lot of Instagram reels featuring attractive men. It seems clear to me that she’s drawn to their looks rather than the content of the posts, which makes me feel disrespected and uncomfortable. These posts usually showcase good-looking guys, and their appeal definitely comes from their appearance. I understand that finding other people attractive is completely normal. However, I believe there’s a difference between recognizing someone’s attractiveness and actually being attracted to them. I can’t shake the feeling that my girlfriend is attracted to the men in these reels. I also see posts of attractive women and, while I can acknowledge their looks, I choose not to like them—mainly because I don't want to make my girlfriend uncomfortable. My attraction is solely to her, and for me, finding attraction in others, even celebrities, feels like a form of cheating. Therefore, seeing her likes on these posts bothers me deeply. I want to have an open conversation with her about this, but I’m unsure how to approach it without coming across as insecure or controlling. Any advice on how to bring this up would be greatly appreciated.

Relationship issue

My boyfriend, who is 40, and I, at 29, have been together for four years. He’s an amazing person and quite different from my previous partners. Unfortunately, my own toxicity and insecurity have caused harm in our relationship, leading him to express that he needs time to decide whether he wants to continue being with me. I respect his need for space and have told him I’m willing to wait while he reflects on things. We still keep in touch, and he continues to update me, drop me off at home, and spend time together. I'm feeling uncertain about what I should do next.

My boyfriend (20M) is eager to marry me (20F), but I'm not interested in getting married.

When I was younger, I never envisioned getting married or having kids. When I met my boyfriend at 18, I made it clear that I didn’t want children or marriage, and that my mind wouldn’t change on the matter. Fast forward to now, and my boyfriend is considering joining the army. He keeps mentioning that if we were to marry, I would benefit financially, but I’ve firmly told him no. I thought that would settle the issue, but he hasn’t stopped bringing it up. He has even discussed it with his friends, who are now calling me hurtful names. My boyfriend believes that my reluctance to marry means I don’t love him, which couldn't be further from the truth. I love him deeply, but marriage simply doesn’t appeal to me, and if I were to marry, it wouldn’t be for financial reasons. He continues to pressure me and make unkind remarks. How should we navigate this situation?

My boyfriend keeps ignoring me.

I'm a (m18) and my boyfriend (m19) are in a long-distance relationship. This is my first time writing something like this, so I apologize if it’s a bit confusing. My boyfriend, let's call him Zack, and I have been together for 9 months, and overall, things have been good. However, every few weeks, he goes quiet or becomes distant through texts. He doesn’t share what’s bothering him, yet he continues to chat with his friends. I’m beginning to worry that I might be too needy or clingy, which has caused issues in past relationships. He always reassures me that he doesn’t mind and even finds it cute. Recently, I've started to suspect he might be cheating. A few days ago, he mentioned that during one of his periods of ghosting me, another girl showed interest in him. They exchanged Discord information and revealed their faces, but he only stopped communicating with her because he found her "ugly." He told me this months later, and now I'm left wondering what if he just said that. He often claims he’s 70/30 in terms of his attraction between genders since he’s bi and prefers women. What if she wasn’t unattractive to him after all? He has mentioned that I'm a "one-time thing" and if we were to break up, he’d likely seek older partners. Plus, he’s hinted that a few friends of his have been hitting on him again. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but I can't shake the feeling that he might be cheating on me or losing interest.

What’s the best way for a 18M to break up with a 21F?

I'm an 18-year-old guy and I want to end my relationship with a 21-year-old girl I've been dating for the past two months. She's very romantic and sexually active, which I struggle to keep up with. As I’m studying Law, my grades during my first semester have suffered because I've been spending too much time on dates and being intimate with her. This is my first serious relationship, and I've found it difficult to balance my studies, exercise, and time with her. I tried to break up with her a few weeks ago, but since we attend the same college and share a friend group, I wanted to handle it delicately and suggested we could remain friends. Unfortunately, she seemed to feel embarrassed by my attempt to 'friend-zone' her and responded by being quite unkind. The next morning, we agreed to stay together and try to find a balance between studying and our relationship. Initially, I thought we could make it work, but now that the new semester is starting, I'm seriously worried about my grades slipping again. While I'm just starting out in college, she’s almost finished with her program and has already secured good grades, allowing her to leave at the end of the year. We're scheduled to meet on the day we both return to college in a few days. What's the best way to end things with her? Should I do it that evening, or would it be wiser to gradually distance myself to help her adjust and prepare for the inevitable?

Seven years without a ring.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend (28) for seven years as of December 26, 2024. I set a deadline for him to propose by April 1, 2025, and made it clear that if he doesn’t take some action by then, I’ll be leaving. I want to have children, but I won’t do so until we’re married. Today, he asked me to extend the deadline because he needs more time to save up. To clarify, I’m not interested in a traditional wedding or reception; I just want to elope, possibly in Las Vegas. Despite this, I stood my ground and refused to change the date because I’m tired of waiting. Now, he’s giving me the silent treatment. I don’t feel like I’m asking for too much—we're both financially secure. I feel disrespected and like my time is being wasted. I need advice because I’m at my breaking point and ready to walk away today!

I’m looking for sincere advice.

I'm a 23-year-old male currently pursuing my master's degree in Australia. After 1.5 years, I returned to Delhi for my vacation. Everything was going well with my 19-year-old girlfriend, and we were both enjoying time at home in India. Unexpectedly, she decided to end our relationship after nine months together. There was no argument or disagreement that I can identify as a reason for this decision. Following the breakup, she blocked me on all platforms, including LinkedIn, and we've had no contact for the past month. I've been struggling to move on and have fallen into a state of depression, which has overshadowed my vacation. Despite feeling like I did nothing wrong, I'm anxious about returning to Australia because I know I'll see her again. I still have a month left before I go back, but I'm unsure about my next steps. I can't afford to delay my return due to the investment I've made in my education, especially since there's only one semester left. Can anyone offer me advice on how to handle this situation?

My jealousy is starting to cause problems in my relationship. Do you have any suggestions for overcoming these insecurities?

I apologize for the lengthy message; I got a bit carried away with the details! :) I'm an 18-year-old FtM, and my boyfriend is 21. We’ve been together for almost 7 months now. I've always struggled with jealousy, which only got worse due to my last boyfriend cheating on me with his female best friend. My previous relationships involved partners who had very few sexual experiences, while my current boyfriend has had 8 partners. It's not a huge issue for me, but I’m not used to partners with higher relationship histories. Our first date happened while he was in an open relationship, and his ex ended things because we hooked up. I’ve met her several times, which makes it hard not to compare myself to her. There's also another girl (20) in his friend group. They hooked up about two years ago, and I heard from a mutual friend that she may still have feelings for him. At first, this was okay since she lived an hour away and had a girlfriend. However, she's now single and lives nearby. Recently, my boyfriend has gone to a couple of group events where she was present, but he didn’t mention her when I asked who would be there. I found out through social media that they were getting close at those events. The first time, she was his Secret Santa and overspent on his gift, and the second time, I saw a photo of them sitting across from each other at a restaurant. We’ve talked about how uncomfortable this makes me, and he’s been really supportive and understanding. I know part of my feelings stem from my past experience with cheating, but I also struggle with body insecurities. His exes are all beautiful women with curves, and as a trans man, I sometimes feel inferior to them. Additionally, there’s been some criticism from his old friends about our age difference, which means he can’t be as public about our relationship as he was with his exes. It’s been two days since I found out about the last event, and it’s really weighing on me. I realize this is something I need to work on, and I’d appreciate any guidance or advice on how to handle it. I constantly think about her, and I’m not sure how to move past these feelings. I know I might sound like a jealous partner, but I genuinely want to overcome this and not let it jeopardize our relationship, which means the world to me. Thank you so much for your support! TL;DR: My boyfriend has a female friend from a past one-night stand, and it’s making me feel anxious and jealous.

Recommendations

My boyfriend's turning 23 this Monday, and we're celebrating together on Sunday night since I have to work that day, which he understands. He mentioned that his siblings want to celebrate with him as well, but keep in mind that his birthday is on the 30th. We had already made plans for New Year’s Eve, just the two of us, staying in and watching the ball drop. I was curious about what his siblings had planned for his birthday since I wouldn’t be able to be there. Instead, he told me they're planning something for New Year’s Eve. The thing is, I really don't want to go to that. I genuinely like his siblings, and I know they feel the same about me, but some comments they make really bother me, and I try to avoid going to his sister's house whenever possible. It’s not that I dislike them; I just struggle with being around so many new people. There’s a slight age gap between us—I'm 20 and he's 23—and it often comes up in conversation in a way that feels condescending. People mention how young I am or say I don’t seem my age, and it bothers me. It’s always a topic of discussion, or they mention that they can’t go clubbing because I’m underage. I’m not overly sensitive, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t enjoy meeting new people repeatedly. I was also disappointed that our personal plans have to be canceled because he didn't ask his siblings if they could celebrate on his actual birthday. There’s a lot of context to how I feel, and I try to communicate it to him, but he doesn't seem to understand my perspective. He struggles to say no to his sister, resulting in our plans being canceled whenever she makes arrangements. I feel terrible about not wanting to go, especially since it’s his birthday, but the thought of being there makes me uneasy. I might sound selfish, but I feel like if I’m dreading the comments on his special day and am willing to miss the celebration, then I'm justified in my feelings. I am definitely planning to take him out for a day just for us, but I still feel awful about not wanting to attend on New Year’s Eve. I’d appreciate any advice. Sometimes I get caught up in my feelings and might not realize how I’m coming across, so any insight would be really helpful!

My boyfriend (34) has quit drinking and has started to act distant towards me (25).

I (25F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together for nearly five years, working through our past issues to improve our relationship. Throughout our time together, my boyfriend has been drinking quite regularly, and when he gets drunk, he often becomes very angry—taking out his frustrations on me regarding work or life in general. Recently, we had an argument during which I expressed that I dislike how he behaves when he drinks and that he should seek help. He agreed and decided to stop drinking completely. Since then, things have been going well. He has been more communicative, we've had great conversations, and he's been really sweet. However, out of the blue, he started responding to me with shorter texts and seemed upset. When I asked what was wrong, he claimed he was just tired. I know his tiredness often manifests differently, as he had been laughing and chatting with me prior. I tried to brush it off, but the shorter replies kept coming. When I asked if he was looking forward to seeing me on Saturday—given that we've both been missing each other—he responded that he wasn't looking forward to anything and expressed feelings of frustration, saying everything felt like "shit, bullshit, and lies." He reassured me that I hadn’t done anything wrong and that it wasn't about me, but it certainly feels that way. He went to bed after telling me he loved me, but something feels off. I'm wondering if I should take his behavior to heart, or if it’s just a result of the emotional changes he’s experiencing due to not drinking. What do you all think?

My sister (20F) shared her travel plans, and my dad (54M) had a breakdown, expressing that he wishes we all get sexually assaulted. I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation.

I'm a 23-year-old woman trying to keep my details private, so I apologize for any lack of clarity. I'm open to answering any questions in the comments. My dad, who is 54, has been through a lot (he had to flee his home country due to war) and as a result, he can be quite unpredictable. Although we were raised in a Western country, which makes him somewhat progressive, he comes from a culture with much more conservative views about women, which is crucial context. We all still live together because of the challenging housing market, but I'm currently saving to move out. Recently, my younger sister, who is 20, announced her plans to go backpacking in Southeast Asia for a month. My dad reacted explosively. He disowned both of us (for reasons I don't quite understand), yelled about how we mistreat him, declared that she wouldn't have a room when she returned, called us foolish, and expressed disbelief that we would allow her to travel. He even shockingly said she could be raped and dropped an ominous comment about World War III happening and how it would serve women a lesson. He finished by stating, "You’ll look to me for help and I won’t be there. I’m not your father anymore." It's hard to interpret this in any other way, right? During his screaming outburst, everyone remained silent, including my mom. He was yelling from the kitchen while we each hid away in our rooms, trying to tune him out. I learned early on that he calms down faster if you don’t engage, so I no longer try to argue back. Eventually, he exhausted himself and went to bed. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe some validation that his reaction was extreme? Any advice on what to do next? I've gotten used to these tirades, but the comment about WW3 really caught me off guard. Just to clarify, he has never been physically or sexually abusive, but there's been a lot of emotional manipulation. Thank you for taking the time to read this. TL;DR: My sister announced a month-long backpacking trip in Southeast Asia, and Dad is furious we "allowed" her to go. He says he won't be there to protect us when WW3 happens.

M34 and F27: We care for one another, but we also cause each other pain. We need assistance.

We first connected two years ago on a dating app. She was only in my city for one night, and we met that evening. We quickly bonded over our shared experiences and felt an immediate attraction. After she returned home, which was four hours away, we kept in touch but eventually drifted apart due to the distance. During that time, I briefly dated someone else. Four months later, we reconnected on Instagram, and she came to visit me for four days. Over that time, we fell in love, and two months later, I asked her to be my girlfriend. She warned me about the lingering effects of a previous toxic relationship, and I promised to be mindful of her trauma. She moved in with me while searching for her own place, and we became quite dependent on each other. However, soon after, I started noticing red flags: overwhelming jealousy, frequent arguments, aggressive communication, and heightened emotions stemming from her sensitivity. As someone who avoids conflict, I put up with this for five months until I eventually reached my breaking point and ended the relationship. Five months later, feeling the absence of her in my life, I reached out. She had begun therapy and welcomed me back. But this time, the dynamic shifted. I began to feel resentful and found myself blaming her for our problems. Despite her attempts to work on herself, we continued to fight, and after seven months of this cycle, I decided to leave again, which left her heartbroken. Three months later, I returned to her. She agreed to give it another shot, but she confessed that her trust in me had faded and that she felt emotionally blocked. We are now in couples therapy, but our relationship feels stuck. I’m struggling and feel like my life is unraveling. Is there a chance for this relationship to heal? Should I wait for her to open up, or is it time for me to move on?

I get anxious every day when my boyfriend comes home.

My boyfriend (24m) has struggled with work stress for as long as I’ve known him. We’ve been together for three years and have lived together for one. I've tried to be as supportive and understanding as possible. When he mentioned needing some time alone to unwind after work, I agreed to give him that space. However, I’ve started to feel really anxious each day as I anticipate him coming home. It’s like I can’t catch my breath. He often arrives home feeling upset—withdrawn, sullen, and angry. When we do interact, he barely makes eye contact and only offers a few words before retreating to his office for at least an hour. If I try to join him, he doesn’t seem to acknowledge my presence; he just continues playing games on his phone. Dinner time is usually when he comes out and seems to be in a better mood, ready to engage with me. My question is, is this behavior typical in a relationship? I grew up in a tight-knit family, where we support each other through tough times, so I wanted to get an outside perspective. I feel a disconnect between us every day, and getting back into our normal routine after his alone time feels a bit awkward. While he has always been this way, I’m starting to reevaluate what I need from our relationship. Thanks for reading this lengthy message!

Did 28M sacrifice a core value for 38F, or is he simply not fully committed to her?

**38F** **28M** **Met:** October 31, 2020 **Married:** June 5, 2023 My husband expressed that he compromised his core values by purchasing our marital home with just his name on the mortgage (financial responsibility) while both our names are listed on the deed (ownership) last November. He brings this up during arguments and pressures me to conform to his mother's wishes. This arrangement became necessary due to my job instability and significant pay cuts (the first major decrease was $17,000 annually) that occurred after moving for his job, which granted him a temporary per diem pay raise of over $3,000 a month. It was also stipulated in our prenup that community property must include both names; otherwise, it is solely owned by one party. When he complained about acting in a way I assumed any loving husband would, it made me question, "Does he really love me?" I genuinely want to understand if this is a valid concern and if it's another red flag I overlooked in my marriage to a man who seems to have a stronger bond with his mother than with me. **Background:** The prenup indicated that he didn’t care about me, and despite this, I signed it out of love, believing him when he assured me that the document didn’t reflect the reality of our feelings. In therapy, he revealed that the prenup was primarily for his mother’s benefit. He began our marriage with her influence in mind and has now acknowledged his enmeshment with her. He essentially acquired our house after consulting with a loan officer and a family friend. The loan officer expressed his conflict but ultimately proceeded because he loved his wife, while the friend urged him to step up as he had done when his wife was in medical school; both men conveyed that love should drive those decisions without needing further consultation. Lastly—feel free to skip this part as I'm just venting—when I changed jobs, I lost excellent health insurance that cost only $10 a month. My husband was only open to adding me to his insurance if I reimbursed him each month. I complied, and then we moved again to Sherman, TX, where the pay cut wasn’t just $3,000 like the last job change, but $17,000 annually. He only agreed to cover my insurance after I was unemployed and we discussed the possibility of pregnancy. He downplays that aspect and insists he did it out of love, but I can’t help but wonder if he truly understands love or if he’s just displaying a form of immaturity. His love feels painful, and I question whether he knows what love really means, especially in light of his mother’s strong influence.

I could really use some advice.

I'm a 23-year-old male currently in a relationship with a 23-year-old female, and we've been together for seven months. I've fallen deeply in love with her. Recently, she expressed a desire to wait until marriage to become sexually active again, despite the fact that we were sexually active for the first five months of our relationship. She has been dealing with some family issues and has mentioned that she’s been getting closer to her faith. Prior to me, she had relationships with three other guys. I know she loves me too; she’s incredibly faithful, which is important to me since I've been cheated on before, and I've made it clear that I need a partner who is completely loyal. I genuinely believe she would make a wonderful wife. However, my dilemma is that I’m unsure if I can wait until marriage for intimacy, especially since we’ve already been intimate and she's not a virgin. I also worry about my own happiness in this situation. So, I'm reaching out to see what you all think… If you were in my position, what would you do? Thank you in advance for your insights. I'm grateful for any advice you can offer.

I'm a 23-year-old male, and I'm feeling unappreciated by my girlfriend, who is 24. I'm unsure about how to proceed from here and could really use some advice or support.

My girlfriend and I have been together for about eight months. The first two months were the most incredible of my life. It felt like we were deeply connected and shared a lot of love for each other. There was mutual understanding and lots of listening between us. We were close both physically and emotionally. I always make a point to compliment her, support her, and do little things to brighten her day. She often wanted me over right after she finished work, and we would spend long stretches of time together. She would sometimes pout playfully if I had to leave or couldn’t visit. I fell deeply in love with her. I’ve always tried to communicate openly and be as understanding as possible. I want to treat her like a princess—opening car doors and taking care of the little things. However, after about two months, she started to distance herself and became more closed off. Given her history of difficult relationships, I tried not to overthink it, but her behavior shifted; she started to show signs of annoyance and even disgust at times, which was really painful. While we used to be intimate—sharing showers and sleeping close—it’s now been six months since I’ve received more than a peck on the lips. We now sleep at opposite ends of the bed. Though I adore her pets, she seems to have neither the time nor the energy for me anymore. Whenever I bring up the idea of being romantic, she gets irritated. I always do what she wants and even drove ten hours to bring her one of her puppies. I would do anything for her, but I often don’t even get a thank you. Lately, she rarely looks me in the eye. At the start of our relationship, she mentioned it would take her at least six months to say "I love you," and she wasn’t interested in sex often, which I completely understood. However, the ongoing lack of care, affection, and love has taken a toll on me. I find myself overthinking constantly. For months, I’ve tried to gently express that compliments or small notes would mean a lot to me. In the beginning, it all felt so effortless. When our six-month anniversary came, she knew I would be giving her gifts and seemed excited, but despite my thoughtful present—a sweet rose, a stuffed animal, and a handwritten note—she didn’t reciprocate and just wanted to hang out. It feels more like a friendship at this point. When I try to address our relationship issues, she claims I’m arguing. She says I compliment and love her too much, which makes it feel less special for her, and that she needs more alone time. Talking to her often feels like speaking to a brick wall. It hurts to think that I might be unintentionally hurting her or making her feel uncared for; I would try to correct that if I could, but I get nothing back in return. On my birthday, we went out with friends, and while she kindly paid for my meal, that was about all the effort she showed. I got hurt falling down her stairs, and her response was simply that I was "fine." She has faced extreme hardships in previous relationships, but when I mention how she treats me, she insists her behavior is normal, while I just treat her exceptionally. In my view, "normal" shouldn’t mean being emotionally unavailable. She doesn’t seem to make an effort to comfort me, show care, or offer compliments. Yet, she claims she wants to be with me. She hasn’t said "I love you" yet and doesn’t demonstrate that she genuinely cares about me. I know I deserve better, but I feel a deep attachment to her and her pets, whom I adore. I keep hoping that things will improve, that we’ll have another romantic moment or become close again. I long to feel loved, appreciated, and cared for—by her, specifically. Week after week, nothing seems to change. I'm at a loss about how to move forward. Since we also work together, I can’t bear the thought of just being friends—it would break me. Why would she say she wants to be with me but have no energy to engage or even write me a note? I feel so lost and confused after what once seemed perfect, desperately clinging to the hope that the spark will reignite from her side.

Am I (20F) in an unhealthy relationship with my boyfriend (21M), or is this just my tendency to overthink?

My boyfriend (21) and I (20) have been together for nearly a year and a half. Lately, he's stopped surprising me with flowers or planning sweet dates, and our time together has turned into just ordering takeout and eating at home. I tried to bring this up with him, but I tend to struggle with communication—I often shut down or approach conversations with anger. When I mentioned it, he made excuses and got upset, which led to me comforting him instead. Whenever I want to discuss something that's been bothering me, he tends to get defensive, saying things like, "Why do I feel like I'm going to get dumped over this?" Recently, he got really upset when I asked to go to a club with some friends, one of whom is moving away for a bit. I understand that he knows I'm more of a homebody, but I thought one night out wouldn’t hurt, especially since I communicated my plans. I reminded him that I'm okay with him going out to the bar or club, as I trust him, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. After a night out, there’s often silence when I return, and the next morning, he acts as if nothing happened, flooding me with affection. Throughout our relationship, he often makes jokes when either of us goes out, saying things like, "No new boyfriends." Recently, while I was fighting off a cold, he made a comment implying it was because I went out and "sucked face" with some guys. However, he also takes care of me and inquires about my health. When he gets upset, it seems to affect everything around him—he slams small items on the counter and is impatient with me. I’ve mentioned therapy, but he just said, "It's fine, I'll handle it." I spend most of my time at home since I don’t have a vehicle. He promised to fix it but hasn't followed through. My sister feels uneasy about our relationship, sensing that I’m trapped at home. I've expressed my boredom to him, and he suggests visiting our moms, but he doesn’t seem interested in my family. He often complains about my 5-year-old sister, saying he wouldn't want a child like that. One time, when I tried to show him a video from my childhood, he just smiled without showing any excitement and walked away. I wish he would have said something nice like, "Aww, you were cute." I've invested so much into this relationship—loving him, being supportive, and doing things for him without hesitation. I respect him and trust him completely, but it never feels like I get that same level of care in return. My friends think I might be in a controlling relationship and that I shouldn’t have to ask for permission to do anything. I feel lost because while he loves me and I love him, I’ve exhausted myself trying to please him, and he doesn’t seem to see or appreciate it.

My unusual connection with a friends-with-benefits (33M) at 29F. Is there anything more I can try?

I met someone online, and we began a casual relationship in January 2023. At first, I didn't think much of him, and we started hooking up, which led me to become attached. We stopped communicating after a text exchange turned awkward when I casually mentioned that I "like" him during one of our encounters. Looking back, it seemed like a careless thing to say, and I couldn't pinpoint why I did. We didn't talk again until February 2024 when he unexpectedly reached out. I had spotted him near my home a few days earlier but chose to ignore him as I walked past. Fast forward, and we resumed seeing each other casually through the summer. I noticed he had an impressive memory, recalling nearly every detail of our past conversations. He'd reference things I said during our first meeting or comments I made the previous year. Things then took another turn—I'd started realizing that our encounters coincided suspiciously with the times I stepped out of my apartment to run errands. We were still connected through the dating app we met on, which indicates how close someone is to you, adding to my discomfort. Things escalated further when he mentioned he was interviewing for a job in my industry, which is quite niche and closely related to where I work. I was honestly taken aback by this coincidence. Given that he had previously expressed that he considered us strictly casual friends with benefits, this felt excessive. It made me uneasy when he became moody after I went on a date, probing about where I had been and reminding me that he knew people who worked there. Generally, he seemed very interested in my dating life and romantic history, sometimes making subtle digs about my job. At one point, during a hookup, he asked when I last had sex, and another time, he wanted to know when I last finished. I didn’t answer because we weren’t exclusive, but his probing was unsettling. All of this gave me a sense of possessiveness and jealousy from him. There was also a summer incident where a neighbor began stalking me. I decided to go off the grid completely and used that as the reason for deleting the app, feeling it gave him too much awareness of my whereabouts. Additionally, we shared a community of activists, and I ran into him several times, making me feel he was more intertwined in my life than I had anticipated. A couple of months ago, I ended things with him, expressing that I felt "too attached." He reiterated that he wasn’t interested in a committed relationship and put the decision of whether to continue on me. This struck me as somewhat defeatist when I was looking for solutions, and honestly, I'm not someone who thrives in casual arrangements as he framed it. I've been grappling with his contradictory behavior and how it clashes with his stated intentions. While I don't have concrete proof of anything, I feel a need for validation that I did the right thing by ending our situation and blocking him. I recognize there’s potential for plausible deniability, but this whole situation just feels off. In summary, I ended a friends-with-benefits arrangement but still feel uneasy about it. I’m unsure if I should take further action or if my instincts are valid.

What are some strategies for dealing with conflicts about student debt with my mom (46F) as a 26-year-old woman?

Hey everyone, I’m in a bit of a tough spot following a big argument with my mom regarding a past due statement that recently arrived at her house, and I could really use some guidance on how to handle the situation. For some background: I graduated in 2020 with around $10,000 in student loan debt, which I’ve been paying off gradually. During my final year of college, I moved out and have been living independently since then. My mom and I don’t communicate much anymore (a long story), but I still care about her. Recently, she called me upset about a past due statement and sent me a picture of a Parent Plus loan from 2016 for $18,000 that hasn’t been paid and has since accrued interest, bringing the total to $23,000. I was taken aback. She accused me of leaving her with this bill and insisted that I take action. I was confused and told her, “What the heck?” Back in high school, I asked her for help with college, and she agreed, but she never mentioned that she expected me to repay her for the Parent Plus loan afterward! I completely forgot about the Parent Plus loan since it’s not in my name! I’ve been focusing on my own loans. I’ve been working since I was 18, sacrificing a lot of my paychecks and tax returns during college to get a head start on my debt. Now it’s 2025 and I only have $5,000 left to pay off. Being suddenly responsible for a $23,000 loan has me feeling overwhelmed. I’ve talked to some family members, and they think I should help my mom out with this loan, but I feel it’s not fair. Does anyone have any advice? I don’t want to come across as a terrible daughter and ruin our relationship, but I really don’t want to take on this loan.

I'm a 20-year-old guy, and my girlfriend, who is 24, mentioned something today that surprised me. She expressed a wish that my father would die—though that’s not exactly how she said it. How should I respond to that?

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend (we're in a long-distance relationship), and she asked me if my father is racist. I told her that, unfortunately, he is, but he’s not a bad person; he’s always kind to everyone, even to those who aren't of the same race. While he hasn't made any overtly racist comments or treated anyone poorly because of their background, he does hold some prejudiced beliefs. Then she asked me how old my father is, and after I told her, she said, "So he's going to be around for a lot longer?" She laughed afterward, but her tone sounded serious. At first, I was confused, but then I realized the implication of what she said. I didn’t confront her about it in the moment because I’m worried about losing her, but it still hurt me. I love her deeply, and I know she loves me too, but I’m unsure how to handle this situation.

My boyfriend (18M), who I've been with for 2 years, spent 7 hours at his ex-girlfriend's (18F) house on airplane mode on New Year's, completely ignoring me (18F).

My boyfriend, 18, and I, 18, have been struggling with trust issues. He cheated on me before, which I’ve tried to move past, understanding that we’re still young. With Christmas approaching, I was looking forward to spending the day with him, but he ended up ignoring me, which just created more tension between us. On New Year’s, he chose to hang out with a friend (which I’m fine with), but then he suddenly went on airplane mode. When he finally turned it back on, I discovered he was at his ex's house because he forgot to disable his location. He refused to come home, wouldn’t answer my calls, told me it was over, and went into airplane mode for seven hours. The next morning, he called me at 7 AM and asked if we were still together. I was in tears, asking him what happened, but he insisted nothing had occurred. Now, I’m left wondering if I can trust him or not. I don't look anything like his ex, and I’ve shared with him how insecure that makes me feel. He questioned why I let one person affect me this way, but he’s often praised her beauty in the past. I’m not sharing all the details yet because I’m still very shaken and upset about everything—I really need advice on how to confront him, communicate my feelings, and whether my insecurities are justified.

Is it strange for my girlfriend (24F) to have a male best friend (24M) who is attracted to her?

It seems they've been friends for quite a while, and this guy has a crush on my girlfriend. Although she’s aware of his feelings, she insists she doesn't have any romantic feelings for him, so she thinks there's no reason to be concerned. Nothing has ever happened between them, aside from him asking her out, which she turned down. Despite that, they've maintained their friendship. Do you think this situation is odd?

What steps should I take if my boyfriend is accessing all my passwords without my permission?

My boyfriend, who is 23, and I, at 21, have been together for about a year. Things were going well until recently when we started experiencing some petty arguments and disagreements. He has revealed that he has been cheated on in the past, and my tendency to be closed off at times doesn’t help the situation. It hasn’t helped that he’s seen the numerous messages and likes I receive on Facebook whenever I post a picture. It began with small things, like him going through my past FaceTime logs and texting unfamiliar numbers, asking whether they’d been in contact with me since we started dating. That was really embarrassing. We talked it over and decided to focus on building more trust. However, I discovered that he has somehow gained access to all my social media accounts. I found this out because he knows specific details about whom I’ve accepted or blocked. Upon checking my settings, I noticed logins from his device and location. I feel vulnerable and that my privacy has been completely violated, and I’m unsure how to handle this situation.

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