Relationship advices

My partner (22F) seems to trigger my nervous system every time she does something. Do you have any advice?

Hey, I’m a 23-year-old guy, and I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend, who’s 22, for about eight months. We've experienced some significant highs and lows, primarily due to our differing attachment styles—I'm anxious, while she tends to be more avoidant. No matter what I do, I struggle to trust her and feel secure in our relationship. I think this stems from her fluctuating behavior; she can be incredibly warm one moment and then distant the next. Our busy schedules mean I can only see her once a week, which adds to my worries. Today, something happened that really triggered my anxiety. I was on VSCO and noticed she had reposted a picture of another guy's dog running on the beach. She's never mentioned knowing this guy, and it freaked me out, especially since she’s never shared any photos of me or reposted anything I've posted. I can’t help but wonder if it’s worth being constantly stressed over someone I care about. Another issue is that whenever I bring up something that bothers me through text, she tends to shut down and ignores me for days. This means I have to bottle up my feelings until I see her, which leaves me anxious throughout the week. I’d really appreciate any advice on how to work through this. Edit: I’m also concerned about looking foolish since I’ve invested so much time and let things slide that I shouldn't have. I want to stop feeling like I'm being walked all over, but I’m uncertain about how to change that.

REPOSTING WITH PARAGRAPHS! Is it possible for my boyfriend (20M) and me (20F) to repair our relationship after being together for three years?

Hello everyone! I anticipate this will be a bit of a lengthy post, so I appreciate your patience. My boyfriend and I go way back to middle school when we met and quickly became best friends. He moved a few hours away to live with his dad during our freshman year and ended up dating someone who wasn't fond of me (yet would still message me about their problems?). He came back during our sophomore year, and we reignited our friendship. At that time, I was in a pretty toxic relationship with my ex, and my boyfriend really helped me navigate my way out of that situation. We started talking in July 2021 and officially began dating in April 2022. I know it seems like a long period of "talking," but I wanted to take the time to heal before jumping into another relationship; the last thing I wanted was to drag him down with me. From July 2021 to December 2022, he was absolutely amazing—always there for me, complimenting me, and making me feel special. It was like he was putting in extra effort to win my heart over again. In January 2023, we hit a rough patch and ended up breaking up after a series of arguments. I admit that when we argue, it can get pretty intense. I have bipolar disorder, which means I often react more strongly to situations than others might. After about a month, we got back together, but we've been a bit on and off since then—we'd have months where we were great, only to slip back into conflict. I want to clarify that neither of us has cheated during our time apart, but we would meet occasionally to catch up because we missed each other. Things were going well for months, but lately, we’ve been facing friction again. Since the election, our arguments have escalated over trivial political discussions, and talking politics with him feels like talking to a brick wall. We've been bickering over various topics, including plans to hang out and him not putting in as much effort as he used to. Just the other day, I walked into his room to find him on his phone, watching YouTube with an AirPod in, barely acknowledging my presence. It seems silly, but it genuinely upset me because he hasn't been the same for a while. While he’s still a wonderful person, it feels like he no longer feels the need to put in that same effort to chase me, even though I'm still trying to show him my affection. He does thoughtful things, but I often feel like I'm not his top priority. Two days ago, I asked him if he wanted to hang out the next day, and he agreed. (We live just three minutes apart.) When I called him yesterday morning to check in, he mentioned he and his mom were going to Walmart and that I could come over afterward, but they didn't leave until around 4 PM. I only found out they had gone when I passed them on my way to town. Despite being in touch throughout the day, he spent most of it playing Xbox. When he finally got home, he called to say he was taking a nap and that I could visit him afterward before he headed out with friends. I felt discouraged because I had been looking forward to seeing him all day, and it felt like he could make firm plans with his friends but not with me. This has been a recurring issue in recent weeks—he's often had time off or said he would be free, only to get called into work unexpectedly or have to stay longer. I've expressed that it feels like he doesn't want to see me, and he insists that's not the case and that things come up. After an hour of arguing, I suggested he take his nap and we could return to the conversation later. When he came over after his nap, he shared that he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue our relationship since we couldn't seem to stop fighting and he didn't know how to resolve things anymore. I urged him that if he could just put in a little more effort, it might help me do my part as well. I recognize I’m often the one who gets upset and instigates conflicts. He’s generally laid-back and lets me express myself without getting angry (he’s a stoner, which might explain his relaxed nature). But I get frustrated about his lack of effort. We ended up talking for a while and agreed that we want to work on our relationship because we're both tired of the constant strife. He expressed concern about worsening my mental health, given that I’ve been dealing with stress from other areas of my life, and he genuinely wants to see me happy. I love my boyfriend, and I know he loves me too; we’re just both exhausted from the conflicts. This turned out to be a lengthy rant, but I thought some context would be helpful. I’m at a bit of a loss and would love to learn how to communicate better and express my feelings without causing conflict. I feel positive and determined about wanting to fix our relationship, and it’s reassuring that we both share that desire. If anyone has tips on how we can navigate this more smoothly and reduce our arguments, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this, and thanks in advance for any advice!

Having difficulty getting along with my future fiancé.

My fiancé and I have been together for five years—I'm 25 and she's 25. We're planning to get married next year. Recently, she has been rekindling her relationship with her brother, the same brother who has physically hurt her for simply resting after college, and for not doing house chores. When she asked a friend of his to take down her picture from social media, he refused, and her brother didn't support her. I stood up for her, even getting into a physical altercation with him. Now, I find it hard to accept that she has patched things up with him, as I view him as my enemy. I'm deeply in love with her and can't forgive anyone who has hurt her. I've been trying to explain why it’s important for her to keep her distance from him, as I fear that if he mistreats her again, it could affect our relationship. I’m feeling overwhelmed and confused about the situation. What should I do?

'55M' and '27F'—she's breaking up with him. Would you do the same?

Here's a revised version of your text: "I'm significantly younger than him; he’s 55 and I’m 27. His health isn’t great, and I find myself contemplating moving on because he feels more like a father figure than a romantic partner. I got caught up in a relationship filled with lies and omissions, and as time has gone by, he seems to be falling apart. I’ve tried to be supportive, especially since life has thrown him some tough challenges, but it’s been exhausting to watch him struggle. He has no real support system, primarily because he has deceived the friends who once stood by him, and they ultimately abandoned him when his life spiraled out of control. He still keeps his struggles hidden from them and only confides in me. I’m at my wit's end playing the role of a pseudo-counselor, the listening ear, and the caretaker for someone I don’t love, respect, or admire. He doesn’t treat me with the care and respect I deserve. I’ve made room for him in my life out of pity, but my feelings for him aren't romantic. For me, genuine love is essential to build a home and family—I want children, and I’m in a fortunate position to conceive whenever I choose. However, he isn’t interested in a physical relationship, and honestly, neither am I. Part of my disinterest is due to his age and frail demeanor. He often struggles to engage with my excitement and enthusiasm for new things, frequently resorting to negativity. It seems he believes this will somehow keep me in check, but it only heightens my focus on my own goals, family, and aspirations. He’s clearly uncomfortable knowing I’ve seen his lows and may think I see him differently because of it. If I leave him to his own devices, he’ll likely fall apart emotionally due to his isolative tendencies. I don’t want to have to guide him; I desire to be led by a strong, spirited man who embodies traditional values—someone who can truly support me in all aspects of life. I dislike feeling like a daughter in this relationship; that's not what I want or need. I seek a partner, a best friend to share life's journey with, creating memorable experiences and navigating life together. In short: she’s a younger woman wanting to live fully and have children; he’s an older man who is choosing to retreat into himself. He expects her to be a domestic servant, while she feels pity and indulges him. He’s intentionally unhappy, and she chooses happiness, but he creates a dark shadow in her life. She desires a strong partner, someone who can lead and share passion with her, while he remains content but unengaging. She's made her needs clear, but he’s simply unable to meet them. What options does she have? Thank you to everyone who contributed to the discussion. I deeply resonate with all your insights. I wrote this during a personal crisis about my next steps. With the end of the year approaching and a new one on the horizon, it feels like the right time to let go of the past and embrace new beginnings."

How can I, a 22-year-old woman, make my romantic relationship with a 21-year-old man feel less like a father-daughter dynamic?

Although he’s younger than me, I often feel like he plays the role of my sugar daddy. He usually takes me shopping every other week, showering me with gifts, which is nice. However, he tends to see himself as superior and often tries to teach me lessons as if I were a child. Our relationship feels quite superficial. Whenever I try to steer things towards deeper communication, understanding, or addressing issues, he typically responds with, "It’s fine as it is," ignores me, or changes the subject to something trivial. When he wants me to change, he raises his voice and threatens to break up or "punish" me by going quiet. I’ve adjusted things for him, yet I often overlook my own concerns, which don’t impact him. Ending things is always my last option, but I’ve started developing feelings for some friends, which I realize might not be a good indication of where I’m at...

I’m a 24-year-old woman, and I’m feeling uneasy about my boyfriend, who is 39, having a close relationship with a female coworker.

I'm a 25-year-old woman in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 39. We've been together for about seven months and currently live in his apartment. He started a customer service job just over a month ago. During his probation period, he worked in an Airbnb office with some colleagues. After passing, he transitioned to work from home, now on the night shift from midnight to 8 AM every day. While working in the office, he frequently texted a female colleague, whom I'll refer to as 'J,' who is also 25. I only learned about her after he mentioned her being nice and supportive when others weren't. They met once during a work gathering, but I wasn't aware of how often they communicated until more recently. He minimized their connection, eventually describing them as 'close.' Noticing that he seemed uneasy whenever he texted her at home, I confronted him about it, as it triggered my trust issues. He insisted he wasn't trying to hide anything and said I could read their conversations whenever I wanted since his WhatsApp was always open on his computer. To satisfy my curiosity, I downloaded their entire chat history. I discovered that they exchanged messages throughout his entire work shift, during his commutes, and even late at night. Their conversations consisted of work-related topics, emotional support, office gossip, and a bit of personal sharing, without overt flirtation. They even discussed having meals together despite being in different places. I chose to keep my feelings to myself and supported him during his work hours, staying up late alongside him. I pointed out that he seemed to avoid texting her in my presence because he feared it might lead to conflict, and although he acknowledged this, his behavior didn’t change much. I noticed that they stopped texting each other goodnight and their communication patterns shifted. We had a small argument recently, and when I didn’t sit beside him until 3 AM, I saw they had exchanged messages since 1 AM. This made me feel that he used that time to reach out to her because I wasn’t there, which raised red flags for me. When I returned, he was replying with very short answers, almost as if trying to downplay their interaction. Now I’m caught in a whirlwind of uncertainty. I wonder if the only reason he toned down their communication was because I was around or if there’s something more going on. I’m also concerned about an upcoming Christmas gathering of colleagues, where he’ll attend with them, and another where I'll be invited. I want to know how to handle their close relationship and if I'm facing a slow breakup. What should I do?

I [25F] believe my boyfriend [26M] has forgotten that I have access to his location, and I discovered he wasn't being truthful.

Hello Reddit! I'm a 25-year-old woman (F) currently in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 26 (M), and we've been dating for a little over six months now. We met on a dating app, and although our relationship is still relatively new, things have been going really well. It's starting to feel more serious, and we share similar values, interests, and future goals, which I appreciate. A few weeks back, we went on a trip to another city, and he suggested we share our locations temporarily, just in case we got separated. However, we both forgot to stop sharing our locations afterwards. Here’s some important context: my boyfriend is a regular at a bar across town, where he knows the staff and a group of regulars who have all become friends. His ex (let’s call her X) also frequents this bar. Although he introduced me to the friends there, he was initially hesitant to introduce me to X. From what I understand, their relationship was more of a "situationship," and she wasn't interested in anything serious. He told me he broke things off with her several months before we started dating. We've had multiple discussions about her, and he has consistently assured me that he doesn't have feelings for her and that I'm the one he wants to be with. I've made it clear that I’m okay with their friendship, although I’m not a huge fan of it. I think if they’re "just friends," she should know who I am, and there shouldn't be any reason for him to hide her from me. I did meet her, and I thought the situation was fine. Now to the issue at hand. I don't usually check his location, but while we were texting about our days, I noticed that it showed he was in the vicinity of the bar. I looked at his location and confirmed he was there. It felt a bit odd for a weekday, but I didn't think much of it at the time. Later that evening, he called me, and when I asked how his day went, he lied and said he’d been home for several hours, completely leaving out the fact that he had been at the bar. I regret not confronting him right then and there, but I panicked and continued the conversation as if everything was fine. He has no idea that I know he was at the bar. I'm puzzled as to why he felt the need to lie about it, and I'm worried he may have gone there to see X without wanting to tell me, which feels really off. At the same time, I’m trying not to jump to conclusions, and I want to address this with him. How should I bring this up and confront him about his lie, given that I went along with it in the moment? What could his lie indicate?

I'm a 30-year-old woman, and my husband is 32. He's struggling to accept my past in adult work, and it's causing tension between us. How can I help him move past this issue?

My husband is often triggered and holds resentment towards me (30/f) because I did adult video work many years ago when we were engaged, which he was aware of from the beginning. I took that step because we were in financial need at the time. The experience turned out to be quite different than expected; the second shoot at a studio called Facial Abuse was far worse than the first, and after two films, I decided to quit. Despite this, he constantly brings it up, often yelling at me and referring to me as "damaged goods." This treatment frustrates me so much that I feel like responding in anger. While he loves me, he still views me as less than because of my past choices. It always resurfaces during our arguments, and it's exhausting. I can’t change what I did, and it’s not like I’m the only person who has taken on this kind of work; he makes me feel inferior, as if I’m worse than illegal activities. Living with this situation has caused me a great deal of anxiety over the years. How can I get him to let this go?

My mother and my girlfriend don't see eye to eye.

I've been dating my girlfriend for two years now; I'm 19, and she's 18. We started our relationship during my senior year of high school and everything has been going well, except for one major issue: my mother can't stand her. In fact, she has openly wished she could choose my partners like in an arranged marriage and often expresses that she believes I could do better. To give you more context, my girlfriend is a year younger, partially deaf, and struggles with anxiety. She doesn't drive yet and is currently in her first year of beauty school, working one night a week at a nearby bowling alley. Her parents are pretty laid back—they didn’t push her to get a job and trust she'll find work after finishing school. They often help us out by giving us rides since I’m still in the process of buying my own car, and they’re perfectly fine with it. However, my mother has been critical of my girlfriend from the start. She’s concerned about her parents driving us around because she thinks we should be more independent. She also takes issue with my girlfriend's inability to drive, her behavior, and several other aspects. I'm not sure if this is a phase that will pass or if it's a permanent issue, but it weighs heavily on me that they don’t get along. I truly care about both my mom and my girlfriend, and I'm looking for advice on how to navigate this situation without hurting either of them. If anyone has faced similar challenges, I’d really appreciate your thoughts.

Afraid of getting married

The title says it all. I'll keep this brief, but there's a lot to unpack. I’m a 25-year-old male, and my fiancé/girlfriend/ex, who is also 25, and I are going through a tough time. We've been together for just over two years, during which we've lived together for most of that time. In the last year, we both left the military, moved across the country, and got engaged about nine months ago. Up until recently, our relationship was great—healthy, an active sex life, and we’re best friends. I love her deeply. However, she has been somewhat pressing about our wedding timeline, which I didn't mind until now. For the past four or five months, I’ve felt increasingly unhappy. I can’t pinpoint why; she’s perfect for me, and there’s nothing about her I dislike. Yet, I find myself feeling unfulfilled in life in general. My hobbies don’t excite me, work feels mundane, and sadly, I’ve started to view my relationship in the same light. When marriage was brought up a few months ago, I didn’t feel ready. I confided in my mom, who suggested that perhaps she isn’t the right one for me. I shared my unhappiness and this opinion with my girlfriend, which ultimately strained our relationship. While she initially tried to support me, her mood vacillates between being understanding and frustrated. Now, she has a negative view of my mom, and I can see how my mother’s opinion weighs on me. It’s like a wedge driving us apart. To give us both some space, I’ve moved in with a friend, and I’ve started therapy. I know I have a lot of responsibility for how things have turned out, but I can’t grasp why I have these mixed feelings. Even with minimal contact and not living together, every day feels overwhelming. I’m struggling deeply—occasionally not eating or sleeping, drinking too much, feeling withdrawn, and not performing well at work. Why can’t I make a decision? I worry I can't go back until I feel completely ready, but I’m uncertain how to achieve that. Have any of you ever experienced a strong, undeniable “yes” when it comes to marriage? I’ve had some rough breakups in the past, but this feels so much worse. Is this a sign that I’m head over heels in love, or am I just co-dependent? I feel trapped in a cycle where every day that passes makes me feel like she’s slipping away, which is painful knowing I’m causing her hurt. It’s a difficult time for me; at points, I feel like it would be better to not be here at all. I’m caught between wishing I had more time to figure out my feelings and not wanting to waste her time because I’m unsure. I can’t picture myself with anyone else, and the idea of her being with someone else makes me feel physically ill. I’m seeking advice—has anyone else been through something similar?

I defended my friend's partner, and although I believe I made the right choice, I can't help but dislike how it feels.

I (22F) have a close male friend, J (22M), who has been in a relationship with N (22F) for the past few months. While I’ve known N for a few years, we’ve never been close, merely acquaintances within the same social group. Recently, during one of our conversations, I noticed J seemed a bit down. I suggested we meet up to talk. He opened up about feeling emotionally neglected in his relationship, sharing how he often feels like he’s giving endlessly without receiving comfort or understanding in return. It truly pained me to see him struggle, so I gave him a hug. He held onto me longer than I expected, and I could tell he was on the verge of tears. When we met again the following week, he shared that our time together had provided him with great comfort and that I was the only person he felt safe confiding in. While we were chatting on his bed, we ended up cuddling. However, I mentioned that we might be crossing a boundary and suggested we keep some physical distance. He agreed and moved away immediately. I believe this was the right decision; I wouldn’t want to be in a situation where my partner was cuddling with their best friend if I were in a relationship. Still, I can’t shake the feeling that I might be overthinking it, especially since I’ve been cheated on before. In the back of my mind, I also wrestle with the notion that it feels unfair for me to uphold a “girls support girls” mentality when N isn’t treating J well. I’m reminded of how the girls my ex cheated on me with never spoke up for me, even though they knew me. Did I make the right choice?

Have I fallen out of love with my husband?

I'm seeking advice from those with experience in marriage or divorce. I'm a 30-year-old woman married to a 33-year-old man for eight years, and we've been together for twelve. We have three kids aged 11, 7, and 15 months. To provide some context, he is an amazing partner—he shares household chores, offers emotional and financial support, and spends quality time with our kids, though his night work makes that challenging at times. We have a strong friendship, often finishing each other’s sentences and sharing lots of laughter. However, I’ve noticed a significant lack of physical attraction for quite some time now. Although we do argue, I believe that’s normal in any relationship. I have struggled with low libido for many years since becoming a parent, and while I've often pushed myself to be intimate, I no longer feel compelled to do so, which is creating issues for him. I really care for him; he’s truly my best friend and has supported me through so much, yet I can’t shake the feeling that I might be ungrateful. It’s hard to describe, but I don't feel that initial spark or that I'm actively in love with him. I often think he deserves someone better because I know I can be emotionally challenging. Is this a common experience after being in a relationship for a long time, especially starting young, or should I consider seeking couples counseling or personal therapy?

I'm trapped in this predicament.

I’m a 29-year-old man in a relationship with my 22-year-old girlfriend, and we’ve been together for two months. To put it simply, the mix of positives and negatives in our relationship has left me feeling overwhelmed and unsure about the future. When it comes to finances, education, and life goals, she’s definitely in a different league than I am. She seems to have no real need or interest in me, yet paradoxically, she is incredibly enamored with me—her enthusiasm feels like a solid 95 out of 100. She constantly reaches out with calls and texts throughout the day, and on our days off, we spend hours on the phone. I don’t have to make an effort for this connection; she naturally takes charge in our intimate moments without me prompting her. While we do live some distance apart, she has invested significantly in our relationship, often handling transportation and hotel costs for our trips together. I offered to contribute whenever she visited me, but she consistently declined, and I never pressured her to cover my expenses. She frequently talks about me with her friends and has introduced me to her family as well. She makes the effort to come see me whenever she can and goes out of her way to invest in us. Up until now, everything has been remarkably wonderful. When we were together, I asked her if she wanted to commit to a relationship, and she said yes. I mentioned that I had one important rule: she needed to cut off contact with past partners and not engage with them on social media. She agreed without any hesitation. I imposed this rule due to prior experiences that caused me considerable stress. Her ex from a year ago had been messaging her, which she claimed to have blocked. However, after a few weeks, I noticed she hadn’t followed through. I confronted her about it, emphasizing how important this rule was to me, and as a result, we ended up breaking up temporarily. She was visibly upset and even offered to share her social media passwords with me, except for WhatsApp. I never logged into any of her accounts, but she reassured me that she had no lingering connections with anyone from her past, whether romantic or otherwise. I decided to trust her, and we continued our relationship. However, our arguments intensified over the next few weeks concerning this issue. She would cry often, and it took a toll on our sleep schedules, as I worried she might still miss her ex. She continually insisted that she checked her accounts regularly and hadn’t interacted with anyone from her past. But after a while, I discovered messages from a former casual partner she had told me were just friends. Following some conflict, she admitted they had a history together. This ultimately turned our arguments into a matter of trust instead of just focusing on her past relationship. Despite our daily conflicts over her ex, she struggled to remove her former partner from her accounts. It wasn’t until things escalated to the brink of a breakup that she finally deleted and blocked them. Lately, I’ve been feeling more mentally unstable than ever. One moment I’m filled with hope, and the next, I’m consumed by doubt.

What does it signify when a girl asks for a break?

My girlfriend, who is 20 and with whom I've been for three years, has decided she wants to take a break. The past few days have been tough, but she still reaches out through texts and occasionally calls me. She explained that she needs this time apart to rediscover herself, as she feels she changed too much to align with what she thought I wanted. She quickly removed our photos and updated her Instagram bio, although she mentioned she would change it back eventually. Our pictures still remain on Facebook, though. She reassures me that this is just a temporary situation and that she envisions marrying me one day. Still, I'm left feeling confused about what actions to take and how to process my feelings. I love her deeply and recognize my mistakes, but I am committed to improving myself during this time apart. My fear is that this break might be more permanent than she's suggesting. While she continues to text regularly, her attitude seems different now. It feels as if the spark between us has faded. She claims she still loves me, yet admits she's losing feelings, and I'm not quite sure what that really signifies. What does it mean when she says she loves me but is losing those feelings?

Unrealistic expectations regarding a possible proposal

Hey everyone, I’m a 25-year-old woman, and I have this strong feeling that my boyfriend, who's 27, might propose soon. We've been together for over a year and have been living together for about a year now. He knows I feel he’s "the one," and we often discuss marriage and our future. His family frequently hints that they believe I’m the one he’ll marry. He knows my preferences for rings and my size. We’ve talked about proposals, and while he insists he has a specific plan in mind, he refuses to share the details—thank goodness, because I don’t want to know! Recently, though, he seems to be acting a bit differently. It’s not in a suspicious way or anything like that. It started when he mentioned that a coworker is proposing to his girlfriend on Christmas Day. I responded, “Wow, that’s exciting! They have kids together.” He then quipped, “You wish that was you, don’t you?” I replied that I absolutely want to marry him, but we already share a life together, and I don’t want to pressure him. I told him, “When it happens, it happens.” He went quiet for a bit, and in his usual joking manner, he said, “Oh, so you don’t want to marry me…” I laughed it off, but I’m unsure if he was actually offended or just being playful. Fast forward three days, and I had a dream where he proposed. This week has been filled with signs—like seeing couples getting engaged on social media. The other night, while we were looking at Christmas lights, we spotted a big inflatable ring. I’m quite spiritual and believe that the universe gives us signs, and my intuition keeps telling me he’s either planning to propose or has something in mind. Am I being unrealistic or overthinking this? I’m hesitant to bring it up with him because if he’s not planning anything, I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment or put pressure on him. I know that kind of pressure can strain a relationship over time. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, but my best friend shares a similar hunch—though we like to joke that we might just be a bit delusional!

My boyfriend struggles with trust.

I’m 22 (F) and my boyfriend is 23 (M). I ended a previous relationship just a week and a half before I met him. Initially, I wasn’t fully serious about our relationship because I was cautious about getting hurt again; my ex treated me poorly. I also have a habit of staring, and a few weeks into dating my boyfriend, he noticed me looking at other guys, which I totally understand is disrespectful. I never intended to harm our relationship—I was genuinely invested in him. I have a complicated history with men, and my body count is 26. I’ve made some minor lies in the early stages of our relationship, which has led him to feel that he can't trust me at all. He worries that I won’t be able to remain committed to one person for life, viewing him as just another number, “the 26 guy.” Yet, he's the first man I’ve ever truly loved, and it feels like my words carry no weight with him now. He seems to believe that I’ll cheat on him, even though I have never cheated on anyone myself—I've only been cheated on three times. We’ve been together for over six months, and I’ve been living with him for more than four months. To show my commitment, I deleted all my social media and currently, since we’re both unemployed, I’m with him all the time. Still, he suspects I’ve cheated at least once during our relationship. Is it fair for him to feel this way because of my past and the early days of our relationship? I consider myself a loyal person with a kind heart, and all I want is to be loved unconditionally, just as I would love them in return. Please help.

M(36) is seeking advice on how to discuss ways to enhance the intimacy in his relationship with his girlfriend(43).

I've been in a wonderful relationship with an incredible older woman for over a year. We met on a dating app, and things escalated quickly. At first, our chemistry was intense and full of adventure—we even attended a sex party together, which she surprised me with, and it was an amazing experience. However, as our relationship has progressed, some of the excitement and exploration in our intimate life seems to have diminished. Lately, I've been feeling a bit restless. I adore her and don’t have any intentions of cheating, but I'm quite sexual and have a strong desire to explore new things together. I’ve been considering suggesting threesomes (both MFF and MMF, if she’s open to it), attending another sex party, or simply using the toys and games I purchased months ago that we haven’t yet tried. There are also smaller things, like experimenting with different positions or rekindling the experience of finishing in her mouth, which I truly miss. We’ve explored anal a few times in the past, but it's been a while now. She knows how much I enjoy it and has expressed her interest as well, but I wish she would initiate it more or show that she desires it often. We discussed our fantasies when we first connected, so she’s aware of my preferences, and I would also love to help her explore her own fantasies or try new things that she may want from me, but finding the right moment to bring it up has been challenging. The main issue is figuring out how to approach this topic without making her feel like I'm dissatisfied or putting pressure on her. I want to frame the conversation in a way that highlights our growth together and the desire to keep the excitement alive rather than suggesting that I'm unhappy. How can I start this conversation? What can I do to ensure she feels comfortable and understands that I love and value her, regardless of how our intimacy evolves? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Why does my girlfriend (22F) get upset when I rub my feet on her while we're lying down? I'm 27M.

When we sit on the couch in the evenings, she positions herself at one end while I lie down with my head at the opposite end. Being 6'3", my feet reach her. I have a habit of "Cricketing" at night, which is the rhythmic rubbing of my feet together—something I often do without realizing it as I try to relax or fall asleep. She has brought it up several times and explained why it bothers her, and I genuinely try to be aware of it. However, I often don’t even realize I'm “Cricketing” against her leg. She also says I do it in bed, which I am completely oblivious to as well. Does anyone else experience this? Is there a way for me to stop, or perhaps a way for her to appreciate it?

Non-Playable Character Boyfriend

I'm a 19-year-old female, and my boyfriend is 20. We've been together for a year, having met at university, and overall, our relationship has been wonderful. He’s incredibly sweet and genuinely cares for me. He’s emotionally mature for his age and is attentive to my feelings, often knowing when I’m upset and what to say to comfort me. However, I have concerns about the depth of our relationship. Despite being together for a year, I've only been to his dorm once and met his friends just once. I feel like we struggle to have meaningful conversations without them becoming awkward. During our interactions, he often responds in a way that feels dismissive, like saying "I see," which leaves me feeling unheard. It doesn’t seem like he’s trying to avoid conversation; it feels more like he just doesn’t have much to say. Additionally, he rarely shares his opinions on various topics. I believe it's essential for a future partner to engage in discussions about daily life, politics, and things we find interesting, but I often feel bored when we try to talk about these subjects. We’re not particularly close – I only see him once a week, and our time together mainly consists of going to the movies, sharing a meal, and some affectionate moments. I hadn’t realized how crucial intellectual intimacy was to me until this relationship. As it stands, I feel as though I can’t engage with him about the world without losing interest. We’re both each other’s firsts in terms of relationships and kisses, but I worry that if I continue in this relationship, I might end up feeling dissatisfied and trapped, simply staying out of fear of the unknown. Since he’s a year older, I think if I ended things now, he’d have more opportunities to meet others who might want a long-term relationship with him. He’s really an amazing person, and I don’t want to waste his time, especially since we both take dating seriously. He’s always willing to address issues and work on the emotional side of things, but I wonder if this particular challenge—his personality—can really be worked on. While he cares about my feelings, which is sweet, I yearn for more engaging conversations about deeper topics. Even after a year, the silences still feel awkward, and I don’t envision that changing. We recently watched a movie that touched on religion, which I thought would spark a deeper conversation, but he became awkward and struggled to express his thoughts. Often, he ends up saying "never mind," leaving me frustrated by his inability to communicate about life in a meaningful way. I question whether I truly love him and if this relationship can survive beyond our fun college years, especially when we face real-life decisions and the initial excitement fades. Since he’s often busy, our texting mainly consists of simple daily updates, usually amounting to about five messages a day, with our in-person meetings just once weekly. I tend to see him as sweet and caring because he tends to accommodate my desires, but I realize this is partly due to his lack of a strong personality or distinct opinions, which is something I find frustrating. So, my dilemma is this: Should I stay in a relationship that I don’t see having a happy future, or should I end it so we can both explore opportunities for deeper connections with others that could lead to lasting happiness?

I (35F) recently discovered that my boyfriend (39M) has been chatting with and receiving pictures from his ex every day throughout our relationship. Are there any alternatives to breaking up?

**Summary:** My boyfriend insisted he was different from my ex, who would get overly attached and text female colleagues. He got upset whenever my ex was mentioned, but it turns out he’s been secretly texting his ex daily. Can we work through this, or is breaking up the only option? We met on Hinge in October and immediately clicked, moving in together by November. He emphasized how crucial it is for partners to maintain appropriate boundaries with the opposite sex. He compared himself to my ex, who had been too emotionally involved with female colleagues, assuring me he was an open book. We made a point of discussing the importance of transparency in our relationship, with him regularly expressing disdain for hypocrisy and lack of respect. However, he has become upset at the sight of messages from my male friends, even though they were harmless. He also reacted strongly to notifications about memories involving my ex, suggesting I should turn those off. This context makes what I discovered yesterday all the more painful. Despite everything he said, he has been texting his ex—whom he claimed to have broken up with five months ago—almost daily while we’ve been together. They discuss her life, and he expresses pride in her accomplishments. His ex has been fixated on him, trying to win him back, and has even sent him explicit photos. Although he reportedly avoided giving in to her advances, he never mentioned me to her. I only found out due to his unusual behavior, which prompted me to directly ask if he was talking to other women. It turns out his ex had recently found out about me, confronting him before he blocked her after their argument. He claimed he was only messaging her out of concern for her mental health, insisting she’s unstable. When I pushed back on that excuse, he admitted he was looking for validation as he feels insecure about our relationship. He acknowledged he messed up and expressed a desire to earn my trust back, even though he understands it might not be possible. I’m in shock and feel betrayed. His behavior contradicts everything he preached about fidelity and respect. I like him, but I can't overlook this breach of trust and I’m uncertain how I can ever feel secure with him again. While he hasn’t engaged in anything explicitly inappropriate, the situation has left me feeling blindsided and foolish. Can we rebuild from this, or is breaking up the only path forward?

The other day, my boyfriend (35m) mentioned engagement rings.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now. Although we don’t live together, I spend five days a week at his place, and we see each other nearly every day. Recently, he asked me what type of engagement rings I like, claiming it was just out of curiosity. I truly love him and, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’ve found my soulmate. While I know no one can read his mind, I’m curious—would he bring up such a topic casually if he didn’t have serious intentions? I wouldn’t mind if our relationship moved in that direction, and we’ve discussed marriage loosely before. Is this just a playful comment, or does it hint at something more serious? How might this be interpreted in my situation? Thanks for your thoughts!

What’s the best way to express my feelings to my boyfriend? I’m 32 and he’s 54.

My boyfriend is 54 and often tells me he desires me. A year ago, when I moved in, we were making love three times a week, but that has now decreased to once a week, and lately, it's more like every couple of weeks. I understand that the age difference might be a factor, but sometimes I can't shake the feeling that something else is replacing our intimacy. How can I express my feelings to him without making him feel blamed? He claims to desire me, yet I don't see that reflected in his actions. He often says that actions speak louder than words, and he doesn’t want to feel pressured or that it's a chore, so I’ve tried to stop asking. I’m always ready when he wants to be intimate, but when I initiate, it never feels like the right time. Am I wrong to feel this way? He often tells me it's just my insecurities.

28-year-old female married to a 49-year-old male.

Hello, I’m looking for some guidance: My husband and I have been together for nine years and married for three. He often makes comments that I find hurtful. For instance, when I take medication for weight loss and mental health, it feels like he's throwing it back at me, which affects my self-esteem. When I try to discuss how I feel, he tends to dismiss my feelings, suggesting that my reactions are just due to my menstrual cycle. We haven’t spoken since Monday, December 16, despite living together. I suggested going out for dinner or celebrating New Year's apart, and he replied that he would like to talk first. I agreed to have a conversation on Saturday when I’m off work. Should I be bracing myself for a divorce? We have a dog and share property. I’m seeking advice on how to improve our relationship.

I'm not certain I can manage my future mother-in-law.

I'm 26 and contemplating ending my relationship with my girlfriend Cam, who is 25, mainly because I'm uncomfortable with her family. I feel she struggles to recognize that her mother, Aimee, is a deeply flawed individual. This seems to indicate a fundamental incompatibility between us. After two years together, during which we've been living together, I was even considering proposing before our upcoming family vacation. Aimee divorced Cam's dad and married her stepdad, Bob, who is 18 years older and quite wealthy, with an estimated net worth of over $20 million. Unfortunately, Aimee is often rude and disrespectful toward Bob, who has significant physical limitations. She refuses to walk with him and has let him fall in the middle of the street numerous times, which could easily result in serious injury or even death. After spending time with this family on multiple occasions and now heading out on a three-day vacation with them, it's clear to me that Aimee has little regard for Bob and her behavior towards him is frankly disturbing. Moreover, Aimee spends Bob's money extravagantly, treating my girlfriend and her stepbrother to lavish purchases, including an $80,000 rug and various renovations. There are countless examples of wasteful spending and disrespectful treatment that I’ve observed. I worry that Cam idolizes her mother, and while I get why—Aimee is very affectionate towards her—I can't help but be concerned that Cam might adopt similar behaviors in our relationship. I've tried pointing out how Aimee treats Bob, who is genuinely kind and accepting of Cam, but she seems blind to what I view as clearly abusive behavior. Coming from a less privileged background, it also frustrates me that Aimee spends money so frivolously, especially since she wasn’t involved in Bob's life when he was building his wealth. My own upbringing hasn’t been without flaws; my dad cheated on my mom several times, and she struggles with a severe hoarding problem and has taken money from both me and her siblings. I love them both, but I can see their faults and acknowledge their mistakes. After this vacation, I’m not sure I can have Aimee in my life and feel strongly about it. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this topic with Cam. I worry that she may not understand my perspective, and it feels disingenuous to bring it up now if she hasn't recognized these issues at 28. Is this relationship irreparable?

I'm a 26-year-old woman feeling overlooked and unsupported by my 28-year-old partner. Should I consider moving on?

My partner and I have been together for five years. About five months into our relationship, we moved in together and spent four years as roommates until he decided to move out to focus on his startup. I understood his decision, as I also hold a demanding leadership position, and we both want to advance our careers before considering marriage. He relocated just 15 minutes away, and for the first six months, we spent weekends together, as well as time during my periods. However, things began to shift when his work travel intensified. He has never been the best at texting, but during his trips, his responses became almost nonexistent, even after I expressed how much it upset me. I stayed up late for calls, but he always prioritized work instead. While he chats enthusiastically with friends, he barely acknowledges my messages, even when he's online. In person, he’s often glued to his phone or laptop; while he listens, it feels like he’s not fully present. I’ve conveyed my feelings about this, but there hasn’t been any change. For my birthday, I like to throw big parties (which I cover the costs for). Last year, when I requested his help with the guest list, he told me to handle it myself, despite the fact that I take care of his birthday plans every year without complaint. He hasn't given me a gift since our first year together, and he doesn't acknowledge our anniversary. I've come to expect minimal effort—perhaps just dinner. It’s not about money—he earns more than I do, and I’ve never anticipated financial support from him since I treat myself to what I want—but his lack of initiative is painful. Our intimate life has dwindled as well. I stopped trying to initiate after facing frequent rejection due to his low libido, even when we were living together. Now, I often feel sad after moments of intimacy. He rarely visits me, and when I go to his place, he sometimes calls me a distraction. Recently, after a light-hearted joke about him not opening the car door for me, he snapped at me to “get the f*** out of his house.” I still have feelings for him, but each meeting leaves me feeling heartbroken. He is kind, intelligent, and genuinely cares for me, always putting his work aside when I'm going through a tough time. However, I’m exhausted from asking for the bare minimum: flowers only when I request them, and dates only when I organize them. I don’t see the point in staying when I feel I receive so little in return. He claims these are just our growth years and insists things will improve after marriage, but I’m beginning to doubt that. He was so affectionate when we first started dating, and I can’t quite understand what has changed.

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