Relationship advices

I urgently require some advice.

I’m a 22-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 24. We’ve been together for five years, and while we've shared many joyful moments and grown together, I’ve also endured a significant amount of loss during our relationship. For instance, I had a male best friend since I was around 12 or 13, but for my boyfriend, that was a dealbreaker, so I chose to cut ties with him. I even deleted my Instagram and Snapchat after he went through my accounts and unfollowed every man I had connections with, including my older male coworkers. In the early stages of our relationship, he cheated on me a few times. I’m not trying to excuse his actions, but I often find myself dwelling on them. I once started flirting with someone online, which led me to delete my Instagram after he discovered it while checking my phone. This was before and during the time he had cheated. Over the years, I've dealt with ongoing issues, including his frequent following of other girls and liking their posts, despite the fact that I’ve been completely transparent on my end. He often brings up the fact that I unblocked my male best friend after he had blocked him, even though we were never romantically involved. Now we find ourselves in a new phase where there’s been no sex or affection at all. He snaps at me frequently, and his tone can be quite harsh. I’ve stopped taking my birth control since there’s been zero intimacy. I don’t want to live like this; I’m seeking advice or just a place to vent because I feel like I'm losing myself. I can't imagine being 22 and living a life without passion, fun, or the freedom to do things for myself. Thanks for listening!

My boyfriend, who is 28, mentioned that he's beginning to feel less love for me, a 28-year-old woman.

My boyfriend is set to leave for a month on Wednesday, and last night he said I could go out with my friends. So, I went to dinner with them, intending to be back in a couple of hours. However, after a few drinks, my plans changed, and I ended up going to a couple of bars. I struggle with a drinking problem and have been trying to stay sober, but I tried to drink like I used to. Unfortunately, I lost control and ended up getting very drunk. My friends had to call him to pick us up. When I woke up this morning, he was packing his things and getting ready to leave. He told me I was a mess, a disaster, and that I’m going to ruin everything in my life. He expressed that he’s beginning to love me less and that all I do is mess up. His words made me feel terrible about myself, and I felt both embarrassed and ashamed. I apologized and admitted that I had made a mistake. He accused me of lying about just going to dinner and claimed that I intended to stay out all night. After he left, I texted him, asking if he could come back tonight, but he said he was spending time with his family and wouldn’t return. When I asked if I would see him before he leaves, he said he would think about it and suggested I shouldn’t chase him, telling me to "be respectful"—which I didn’t fully understand. I told him I’d give him space, and I haven’t heard back from him in a few hours. I know I messed up, but his reaction feels really harsh. I have a history of being in toxic and abusive relationships, and I don’t fully understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Is this a typical response?

I have a feeling that my boyfriend was glancing at another woman while we were being intimate.

I need some advice. I'm a 33-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is 29. We've been officially together for a year and a half but had been seeing each other for a long time prior to that. Last Friday, we enjoyed a wonderful evening together. We had what I thought was great sex, and later, I was giving him oral pleasure while he played games on his tablet—something I find fun to do occasionally. A few weeks back, I noticed he had been emailing a woman he hadn't mentioned before. I spotted it a few times when he was on his tablet or computer (I haven't gone through his personal things). I tend to be insecure due to past experiences, so I asked him about her. He assured me she was just an old friend who had reconnected and that there had never been anything romantic between them. I was satisfied with his explanation and chose to trust him. On Friday night, while I was giving him oral sex, I was under the covers for a bit before emerging. He placed his tablet on the bed, and I continued. He held my head down as I was performing oral, which was fine by me since consensual activities like that are part of our dynamic. However, he was notably forceful this time, but I didn't dwell on it. We finished up, cuddled, and went to bed. The next day, while he visited family, I sat down to do some work on the computer. Noticing that one of his games had been left open overnight, I didn’t realize I was logged into his Google account. I intended to buy Christmas gifts, so I searched my browsing history for a tab I had used the day before. To my shock, I saw multiple Google searches for the woman he’d been emailing, along with a Depop picture of her—just a torso shot. This was a bit concerning, especially since it was past 11 PM when we were in bed together. I thought we shared a lovely evening, with him mostly playing games on his tablet, and I really believed there were no issues in our relationship. Now I’m left wondering: Was he looking at that while I was giving him head? Did he sneak off to check it after we were intimate or when I stepped outside for a cigarette break? Could this just be an innocent situation that I'm overreacting about? This uncertainty is driving me crazy—I feel betrayed, unattractive, and disrespected. I’m unsure how to approach this without risking our relationship, as I am afraid he might think I violated his trust by looking at his account, even though that wasn’t my intention.

My girlfriend was unfaithful, and I'm unsure about how to handle the situation.

I'm a 22-year-old guy, and it’s been a couple of months since I discovered something troubling. I initially found out that my girlfriend, who is 20, was approached by an older guy while I was at work. He asked her out, framing it as a casual lunch among friends. Naturally, I confronted her about it, and because she never agreed to the date, I decided to let it slide, but I remained vigilant. The next day, I checked her phone and found over 200 deleted text messages from this guy. Many of the messages were him flirting with her, and she seemed hesitant, but there were a few instances where she appeared interested, even mentioning, “I’ll leave him soon.” Other times, though, she insisted, “We don’t talk like that.” Before all of this, she had a significant drinking problem, which I had addressed multiple times. Remarkably, she hasn't touched alcohol for three months since I last confronted her. When I found out about the texts, I pressed her for answers. Initially, she claimed she was talking to him because I wasn’t giving her enough attention and insisted, “I don’t care about him, I want you.” When I asked her what had transpired, she described him as a nuisance who wouldn't leave her alone, so she said what he wanted to hear just to get him off her back. However, I was still skeptical, as some of her messages didn’t seem entirely one-sided. After weeks of talking about it, she finally admitted that she had gotten drunk one night and couldn’t remember what happened. She claimed he told her they had sex the next day, but she had no recollection. I know it takes a lot to get to that point, but just to clarify, she’s generally not the type to frequently go out. This man lived next door, and I had grown accustomed to her socializing outside while drinking with friends. She mentioned she went over to pet his cat and then forgot everything until she returned home wanting to shower. I don’t know if that’s a typical response for a hangover. Is it possible to lose only an hour of memory, or does that seem like a blatant lie? Doesn’t it feel a bit too convenient to lose the memory of the moment that could jeopardize our relationship? Given that she has stopped drinking, could that be a sign that she might still be a faithful partner? Has anyone experienced a situation where their partner cheated but still managed to rebuild trust in the relationship? I understand that I might not get clear answers to all my questions, but I felt the need to share my thoughts.

How can I, a 35-year-old man, sever ties with my 75-year-old father who supports Trump?

Subject: Seeking Guidance on a Difficult Family Situation Hi everyone, I know this is a sensitive topic, so I’m posting anonymously. I assure you this is genuine and not an attempt to stir up drama. Please keep the conversation respectful. My relationship with my father is somewhat distant; we chat every few months, and our conversations are typically light and focused on our current lives. We haven’t spent more than a few hours together in over 20 years since my parents divorced, and I wouldn’t say we feel particularly at ease around each other. We’ve always had different personalities. When it comes to politics, we’ve never had a substantive discussion. I identify as progressive/leftist and have been deeply engaged in political matters for the past 15 years. I don't know my dad's political views for certain, but there have been a couple of notable moments: - A few years ago, he displayed a "Keep Christ in Christmas" sign in his yard, which struck me as odd since he never took us to church during my upbringing. - In early 2020, shortly before the pandemic began, he mentioned attending a Trump rally. I reacted negatively, he acknowledged that I probably wouldn’t approve, and we let it go. This was during my wedding, so there were other topics to explore. At that point, we were all aware of Trump’s character, so it concerned me. Since the election, I’ve decided to distance myself from Trump supporters for clear reasons. If someone is still backing him by 2024, there’s a reason—they're no longer supporting an underdog; it’s become serious with initiatives like Project 2025 in play. Despite both being white men with reasonable financial means, I have significant worries about this administration: - I have two naturalized citizens in my family: one is an Iraqi refugee who recently achieved citizenship after enduring immense hardships, and the other is a family member who overstayed a visa but is now married to a citizen. I’m anxious about their status under Project 2025. - I have numerous LGBTQ+ friends, including those married in conservative states, who fear that their marriages might be invalidated. - My wife and I are trying to start a family, but due to our age, it’s challenging. We’re genuinely concerned that complications during her pregnancy could have dire consequences given our location. - Many of my family members work in education. - And let’s not ignore the events of January 6. - There are countless other sociopolitical concerns on my mind. I haven’t spoken to my dad since the election. I recently lost my job and am going through a tough time, which kept me from reaching out. Today, he called, but I didn’t answer. Aside from my job situation, my sister is going through a divorce, and I think he wants to discuss that with me. However, I feel strongly about informing him that I no longer want Republicans in my life, and if he supported Trump, then I’d be fine without him. At the same time, I worry I might be blindsiding him. Since we’ve never discussed politics, perhaps he would have voted differently if I’d raised it before November. It’s possible he didn’t support Trump at all. Given his age and limited family connections, I can’t help but feel bad about it. I would appreciate any advice you might have. Thank you!

What strategies can I use to stay calm during arguments with my girlfriend?

I'm a 20-year-old male, and my girlfriend, who is 18, and I have been arguing more frequently lately, despite being together for three years. She has mentioned that she doesn’t appreciate my tone during our disagreements, which I completely understand. However, I don’t always recognize when I'm being rude or dismissive in the moment. I want to be able to remain calm and truly listen to her, but I often find myself feeling defensive. If anyone has any tips on how to manage this, I would greatly appreciate it. TL;DR: Seeking advice on how to stay calm during arguments.

Looking for assistance with communication.

I’m a man in my 50s, and I’ve been married to my wife, who’s in her mid-40s, for 20 years. Like many couples, we've experienced our fair share of ups and downs. Overall, we’re somewhat content—I wouldn’t call it happiness, but we’re not unhappy either. I sense that she’s more at ease with our situation than I am; I wish we could spend more time together, but neither of us is contemplating a separation. However, I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed by the way we communicate. She often tells me that I have a tone she finds displeasing. I try to be mindful of this, but I can’t deny that it happens. When we argue, she tends to raise her voice and interrupts me before I can finish even a single thought. She jumps in with her own assumptions, completely disregarding what I was trying to articulate. It feels like she’s not listening at all—she doesn’t engage to understand; she only hears enough to react. When I attempt to discuss our communication issues in a calm moment, she seems frustrated and often cuts me off. In the two decades we’ve been together, I can recall her apologizing to me only three times. I acknowledge that I’m not perfect, but I’m starting to feel emotionally drained. I’ve attended individual therapy, where I’ve gained insights into my communication style and my reactions to her words. Unfortunately, she’s not willing to pursue individual therapy and stopped attending couples counseling as soon as the discussions turned serious. I’m at a loss for what to do. I want to make her happy, but I’m unsure how to achieve that anymore. I struggle to find a way for her to listen long enough to grasp my perspective. I feel lost and need guidance. Thank you for your assistance.

Relocating from a developed nation to a developing nation for the sake of love?

I'm a 20-year-old female in a relationship with a 20-year-old male. We're from different countries; we met three years ago when he visited Canada, where I'm from. We've been together for two years and have been living together in Canada for the past year. Recently, he suggested that I move to his country due to rising inflation and living costs here. Initially, I was hesitant, but I decided to visit for over two months to explore and immerse myself in his culture, taste local foods, and learn some of his language. The experience was quite a roller coaster; there were days I felt lonely without my family and friends, yet I also had incredible moments. Ultimately, the decision to stay there is mine, as he won’t be coming back to Canada. If I choose to remain, my plan would be to learn the language and look for work while he attends university. Although the lifestyle there wouldn’t be stressful for me, it means leaving behind my loved ones. Is moving to a developing country for love a worthwhile choice? TL;DR: Would you relocate from a developed country to a developing country for love?

Facing Challenges in Expressing My Feelings as a 21-Year-Old Female in My Relationship with My 21-Year-Old Boyfriend, While Aiming to Be Understood Without Sparking Conflict

I’m a 21-year-old female who struggles to express my feelings when I’m upset, both in my relationship and with others. This often leads me to become emotional or use a tone that can come off as condescending, which is not my intention and makes communication difficult. Recently, I went through a challenging week after a medical procedure that left me feeling physically and mentally exhausted. My boyfriend, who is 21, was aware of this, but I felt he didn't offer the support I needed. A few days later was my birthday, and I shared with him that I was disappointed about having to work all day. I had hoped he would do something special for me, especially since I went all out for his birthday just two weeks earlier. I even made him his favorite childhood pie from scratch, surprised him with a celebration when he came home from school, complete with candles and gifts. However, after my shift on my birthday, I came home to no surprises. He even asked me to get snacks when I hadn’t eaten and then brought back food just for himself, saying he "forgot the flowers." For context, we had decided at the last minute to see each other after I finished work because I wanted to spend time with him, and he had already given me my birthday present a couple of days ahead of time. I tried to lift my spirits, but later that night, he became irritated when I attempted to talk while we were watching a movie—one we had seen before. The next morning, we went to the mall and tried on clothes; I even purchased perfume for both of us for Christmas so we could pick out scents for each other. Afterward, I drove 30 minutes to pick him up from hanging out with friends, paid for his meal, and took him home. The following morning, I mentioned the flowers again, and he dismissed it with, "How long is your birthday going to last?" When I tried to explain why my birthday is important to me and how I wanted to feel celebrated by him, his response was just, "I apologize," followed by him turning away. This pattern of reacting to my concerns by simply apologizing and then ending the conversation without further discussion is becoming frustrating. Although this makes my relationship sound troubling, there is a lot of love between us. He puts in effort in other ways, like always wanting to spend time with me. We've been together for two years, and this is his first serious relationship, so I recognize that he’s still learning. I care for him deeply and want us to grow together, but I also need my feelings to be acknowledged and validated. I'd genuinely appreciate an outside perspective. How can I approach this situation better, or is this dynamic a potential red flag? I prefer not to discuss this with my friends as I know they would automatically take my side, and I don’t want them to form negative opinions about him. Honest feedback would be really helpful—thank you for taking the time to read this!

25M (me) 22F - Do you think texting every day is essential?

Hello everyone, My partner and I have been together for about 8 months now, seeing each other 2-3 times a week. I love her, but there are some days when we don't message at all. I'm curious about how other couples handle this. Do you communicate regularly throughout the day? Does it make you uneasy if you don’t talk to your partner for a whole day? I’ve brought this up with her before, asking how often she prefers to message, and she said she’s fine with daily communication but also comfortable with not messaging every day. I don’t want to come across as clingy by insisting we need to talk every day. She usually reaches out first if we haven’t spoken in a day or two, checking in on me. Is anyone else here in a similar situation? How do you feel about not speaking every day? Is daily communication essential for you?

36-year-old man seeks advice to prevent losing his family.

I'm 36, and my partner is also 36; we’ve been together for 11 years. We have two children: a 13-year-old daughter whom I didn't father biologically but have been a dad to for most of her life, and a 4-year-old son that we share. Recently, my partner told me she doesn't want to get married, which honestly hurt. We've faced many challenges over the years, yet we always seemed to rebound. I'll admit that I cheated on her two years into our relationship, something I regret deeply and promised myself would never happen again. Since then, I’ve worked hard to be a supportive partner and father for my family. However, lately, it feels like we’re just going through the motions. The spark we once had seems to have faded, and we're mostly coexisting rather than truly connecting. Things took a turn after a significant argument about her spending habits and a lack of intimacy (it’s been three months). Additionally, I did become close with a co-worker. While it was purely platonic, I confided in her about my relationship, which I now realize was a huge mistake—my partner found out. Since then, she has been acting differently; she takes longer to reply to my messages, goes out with friends more often, and seems distant overall. When we discussed it, she assured me that she still loves me and always will, which I believe. Yet, when I approached the topic of marriage again, she told me she wasn’t interested, which caught me off guard. I recognize that I should've proposed a long time ago, but now I'm left wondering if she's emotionally checked out. I even suspect she might be seeing someone else since she's been staying out late. If she's ready to move on, I can understand—maybe it's karma for my past mistakes. Still, I want to do everything I can to make this work, and I think we owe it to each other to have an open and honest conversation. I'm planning to take her out to dinner soon to discuss everything and understand the future direction of our relationship. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this without pushing her further away or making matters worse.

I (26F) have been experiencing grief over a potential breakup with my boyfriend (29M), even though it hasn't occurred yet.

I (26F) feel like I'm already grieving a breakup that seems inevitable after nearly 10 years together. My boyfriend (29M) and I started our relationship when we were just 16 and 20 years old. The first couple of years were challenging, particularly due to a few incidents of infidelity on his part. However, we managed to work through those issues with open communication and honesty, and nothing of that nature has happened since. We experienced a strong connection, embodying the "opposites attract" cliché, and for about five years, our relationship flourished. Sadly, over the last three years, it has begun to fade. During my teenage years, I faced many struggles and felt an intense need for his love. Issues with my parents led me to consider emancipation at 16, and I eventually moved out at 17 to live with my boyfriend and his family. My relationship with my parents has improved significantly since then, and we've built a wonderful bond. However, I'm concerned about how a potential breakup could affect our current dynamics, especially since my boyfriend wishes to stay connected to my family, which I cannot control—and wouldn't want to. I'm also close to his family, and it's heartbreaking to think I might lose that connection. My boyfriend has been there for me during both the highs and lows of my life, just as I've been for him. We have three wonderful cats together that I couldn’t take with me if I moved out. Returning to my parents isn't an option for me right now, and I’m in the process of improving my financial situation so I can eventually live independently. The only feasible housing arrangement would be with my best friend, her fiancé, and her two lovely daughters (ages 6 and 8), whom I consider my nieces. However, I worry that my sadness might strain our friendship if I move in with them. For the past few years, my boyfriend and I have felt increasingly out of sync, primarily due to differing political views, philosophical beliefs, and attitudes toward money and value. In our decade together, we’ve never taken a break because I believe in an "all or nothing" approach to relationships, and I’m not convinced breaks would be beneficial for me. Tonight, we had an extended conversation about how our differences are driving us apart instead of bringing us together. We both feel that our life together has become mundane, with more bad days punctuated by a few good moments. We want the best for each other and acknowledge that we deserve to pursue true happiness—yet we’re uncertain if that can be found together anymore. I feel like I've been hesitant to confront this for the last couple of years, though a part of me has been ready to move on. My identity feels intertwined with him, and I'm scared of who I might be without him. I’m feeling lost and anxious about what the future holds, whether we should make an effort to stay together longer or officially end things and seek our individual paths to happiness. Thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy, but only partially explored, post. How do we choose which direction to take? What coping strategies could help if we do break up? How can we have a constructive discussion to reach a decision? I would love to hear your thoughts. TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 years, and we’re contemplating a breakup. I find myself mourning the loss of our relationship before it’s even ended, and I’m unsure about what steps to take next.

My boyfriend hasn't been keeping anyone updated recently.

Hello! I’m a 20-year-old female, and my boyfriend, who is 21, and I have not communicated for a month. This situation began when he started struggling in his IT classes last semester. For some background, he was previously the class valedictorian and graduated with the highest grades in his school's history. He switched his major from Computer Science to Information Technology and transferred schools looking for a "fresh start." He chose this field primarily for financial reasons, having read about it on Reddit. Unfortunately, instead of improving, he seems to have given up. I've heard he even skipped his practical exams, leaving his groupmates in a tough position and barely able to pass. This behavior is very uncharacteristic of him. I’ve tried my best to support him, as have his friends, but he has withdrawn into isolation, fearing that he might “hurt others.” He used to have a carefree attitude and would often get into conflicts, but he has become more reserved over time, particularly after we started dating, which helped him move past his gambling addiction. Both his friends and I are really concerned about him. While I want to be there for him, my grandfather was hospitalized, and I’ve had to prioritize that. I’ve continued to reach out and keep him updated, but he hasn’t replied. He’s isolating himself from everyone. I even contacted his father when he missed an event he was supposed to host, but they dismissed it, saying he was just “tired.” I’m genuinely at a loss for what to do. Breaking up isn’t an option for me; I don’t want to add to his struggles during this difficult time.

I'm a 20-year-old guy currently feeling like I'm being treated more like a plaything than a partner by my girlfriend, who is also 20. This dynamic has come about because I've hurt her in the past and have been rude to her. I’m seeking advice on whether I should stay in this relationship or if it’s time to move on.

I'm a 20-year-old guy, and my girlfriend is also 20. We've been in a relationship for over two years, but it often feels forced. We both thought we were meant for each other, but it was clear from the start that she had unresolved feelings for her ex and had loved another guy deeply until I proposed to her, and she accepted. We've been through a lot together, experiencing many ups and downs and intense arguments. After some serious fights, we tried to start anew. For a while, things improved, and I even gave up hobbies and friendships to focus on our relationship because I believed I needed to make up for past mistakes and that she had the right to expect my commitment. However, I was friends with a girl in college whom I didn’t share much about my relationship with, and that made my girlfriend extremely jealous. Things escalated, and I had to cut off that friendship, creating a significant rift. Every time I saw that girl, I felt reminded of how I had let my girlfriend down. Then, one day we had a fight, and she began reaching out to her ex, sending a follow request to a guy she used to love on her private Instagram. That was when I completely lost it. Even though she immediately apologized, the damage was done. I felt heartbroken and betrayed, and I started seeing her more as his ex than my girlfriend. She did block the guy eventually and apologized countless times, even threatening suicide and ending up in the ER for two days when I stopped communicating with her. After things calmed down, she wanted to start fresh, and we did. But we had another serious fight that led us to block each other. When I later apologized, she brought up her ex again and compared me to him, expressing her desire to be with him instead. Now, I adjust to whatever she wants, even when it hurts me. I buy her things her dad won’t get her, and we often argue about it. I work a side job to cover my expenses and treat myself occasionally, but she doesn't like it when I spend money on myself and feels I’m not treating her equally. I sometimes think this is unreasonable; I'm not obligated to cover all her expenses. Yet here I am, almost begging her to stay with me and letting her walk all over my self-respect. I’m not sure why I’m doing this. Is this okay? What should I do? I've isolated myself from my friends because she doesn’t want me spending time with them. I feel lonely, guilty for past mistakes, and I think I’m acting like a “slave” to make up for my past behavior, even though her actions, like reaching out to her ex and seeking attention from other guys, have contributed to our problems. I’m lost and need someone to talk to about this. Sorry for my English; it's not my first language. **TL;DR:** I've been rude to my girlfriend, and now I feel like I'm her servant, hoping to stay together.

My boyfriend struggles with emotional regulation, and it's beginning to impact me.

To provide some context, I'm a 22-year-old woman and he's a 21-year-old man; we've been in a happy relationship for three years now. From the beginning of our relationship, we've had frequent arguments due to his behavior. He tends to be very impulsive and struggles to manage his emotions, often becoming extremely angry when he's feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated. Since we’re both neurodivergent, I’ve always tried to understand him, but it’s been challenging to witness his anger escalate every couple of days. About two or three months ago, he started seeing a therapist to address this issue, and I’m really glad he’s taking this step. While he’s improving in managing his anger, I can't shake the feeling that he’s doing it more for me than for himself. He actually admitted that he sought therapy primarily to avoid losing me, rather than for his own personal growth. This confuses me because, in my opinion, therapy should be about self-improvement rather than simply trying to please someone else, and I worry it might not be effective in the long run. Even though he's not as frequently angry, he still struggles significantly with handling frustration and sadness. Recently, he accidentally broke my laptop and became incredibly upset, crying heavily. I wasn’t angry at him; I could see how distressed he was. While I tried to fix my iPad, he started to hurt himself, and I had to intervene. This crying episode went on for at least an hour, and it heightened my own stress. I attempted to reassure him multiple times, letting him know I wasn't upset and that it wasn't his fault. However, he kept asking, "How are you going to manage now?" which felt very strange to me—it’s just an object, after all, and his reaction seemed disproportionate. He acted as if he had just witnessed something truly tragic. The next morning, I expressed my concern about his reaction and how it felt excessive to me, but he didn’t seem to understand. To him, his response was entirely reasonable and there was nothing wrong with it. I’m starting to question whether I can stay in this relationship if this is how he will respond to life's challenges. Additionally, his extreme reactions sometimes make me feel like I have to suppress my own emotions just to be in a position to support him, rather than allowing myself to process what I’m feeling.

What should I consider if my boyfriend cheated on his ex two years ago?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he’s my first serious relationship, just as I am his. I'm an 18-year-old female, and he's an 18-year-old male. About ten months into our relationship, I used his iPad and found some concerning posts on his social media feed. As I explored further, I noticed he had been liking several suggestive pictures of attractive girls, including some recent ones from just a few days prior. This behavior was surprising since he seemed more discreet on his phone, but it turned out he had a separate account on the iPad. I confronted him about it, and since then, he has stopped using the iPad and given me access to all his other social media accounts. He’s been very patient as I work through my feelings and acknowledges the impact his actions had on our relationship. He’s genuinely trying to make amends. I’ve been gradually forgiving him because he hasn’t cheated on me, right? However, earlier today, I found myself bored and went through some of his old messages. I came across a conversation with a female friend from two years ago, which included explicit messages between them. I checked the dates, and they coincided with the time he was still involved with his ex-girlfriend. He would turn to her whenever he had issues with that relationship, and it seems they were never caught during that time. Although they haven't communicated in over a year, I’m struggling with how to process this new information. I'm a firm believer that once a cheater, always a cheater, yet this was two years ago, and he doesn’t talk to anyone else besides me and his family now. We spend nearly all our time together, and he effectively lives with me, so I’m aware that he doesn’t have much of a social life outside our relationship. Despite how it may sound, he has been devoted to me since I discovered he was liking and engaging with other women online. I occasionally check his accounts, and everything seems clean. I regret looking into his past, but I can't shake the feeling that it may hint at future issues. It’s frustrating because I see that he’s making an effort to change, and he has been understanding of my feelings. If we continue, I know it would be difficult for him to betray my trust since I have access to everything and am aware of his every move. I’m unsure how to approach this situation or what to think about it all. What should I do next?

My relationship can be unhealthy at times, but I have no desire to end it. In fact, I can’t imagine anything worse than leaving him. I feel really embarrassed about this. For some context, I'm a 24-year-old woman and he's a 30-year-old man; we've been together for 5 years. Does anyone have any advice?

At times, when my partner is extremely angry, he can hurt me or impose some form of punishment that, I must admit, I sometimes enable. It's important to note that this behavior only occurs when he is very upset, and it’s always in reaction to something I've actually done. He doesn’t just come home from work and start an argument every night. It also doesn’t happen when he’s upset about matters beyond my control. He is incredibly caring and supportive, and he has endured a lot of stress that I have contributed to over the past couple of years. However, I recognize that this dynamic is unhealthy. I’ve attempted to discuss it with him multiple times, but those conversations have only made things more difficult in the short term. Even though I know this isn’t a positive situation, I have no desire to leave him—I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It worries me that I might be overlooking the seriousness of his behavior. I would appreciate any advice, as I feel embarrassed, ashamed, and needy for enabling this situation while loving him so deeply. I honestly believe he loves me, and at times I interpret his outbursts as a sign of his passion for our relationship, thinking it reflects our deep love. Yet, I know logically that this isn’t the way to view the situation. If anyone has suggestions for how I can improve our relationship, I would be very grateful. Thank you in advance for your help. For context, I’m a 24-year-old female, and he’s a 30-year-old male, and we've been together for five years.

Should I talk to my boyfriend about his gaming friend?

My boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been together for 9 months. He really enjoys playing video games, and every night he dedicates 2-3 hours to gaming. Afterwards, he’s usually too tired to chat and just goes to sleep. I've been feeling a bit insecure, so I decided to look into his gaming habits. I discovered that he mostly plays with a female streamer, and it seems like they frequently team up during her streams. This made me feel quite jealous. I want to bring this up with him, but I'm unsure how to approach the topic. Part of me wants to test him to see if he’ll be honest about it, while the other part just wants to have an open conversation and express my concerns. I can't shake the feeling that there might be some flirting going on during their games. What should I do? I really need some advice!

My boyfriend has been acting distant and unresponsive since our argument, and I’m unsure of how to handle the situation.

My boyfriend (19) and I (19) have been together for six months, and we celebrated our half-year anniversary on December 2nd in Downtown Toronto. He surprised me with an Airbnb that he decorated beautifully. Unfortunately, since then, we've had a significant argument. It all began when I reached out to a close friend (let's call him Steve, also 19) to talk about some troubling things my roommates (who are also my friends) were saying behind my back. I really needed someone to confide in, and since my boyfriend wasn't responding because of our argument, I thought it best to give him space. I messaged Steve for support, as I was very upset and needed to reassure myself that I wasn’t a bad person. Later that day, my boyfriend finally reached out, and I honestly told him I'd spoken to Steve and invited him over to talk things out. My boyfriend was hurt that I contacted Steve instead of him. I tried to explain that I was worried he wouldn't reply, but he wouldn’t hear me out. Two weeks have passed since that incident, and my boyfriend has been distant and cold. We’ve discussed the situation several times, and I've apologized, assuring him I won’t reach out to anyone else when I’m feeling down and will message him instead, regardless of his mood. Despite this, he continues to be uncharacteristically quiet, and while he interacts normally with his friends, he hardly touches or speaks to me and only called me “baby” during intimate moments. The last time we genuinely connected was on Sunday after he returned from a night out with friends for a birthday celebration, but since Monday, he’s gone silent again. I’ve tried discussing what’s bothering him repeatedly but to no avail. Today, he finally expressed that he’s upset about me reaching out to Steve, regardless of my apologies. He also mentioned he was hurt by a dream I shared that involved his ex, even though he had asked me to tell him about my dream when I hesitated. This conversation escalated into another argument. When I asked if he was falling out of love with me due to his behavior over the last couple of weeks, he insisted that he wasn’t. I’ve come to terms with what happened with my friends and decided to approach them openly, learning from the experience. However, I’m unsure how to navigate my relationship with my boyfriend now. I love him deeply, see a future with him, and my parents have just become more accepting of our relationship. This connection means a lot to me, and I don’t want to walk away from it. We’ve had moments where he has thrown my past at me, and he’s even suggested breaking up, which I’ve consistently resisted because I don’t want others to view us as toxic. Right now, I feel lost and drained. I’m not even crying about the idea of a breakup unless it’s mentioned during an argument—I'm just too exhausted emotionally for that. The only time I cried was today when I attempted to communicate with him and was met with silence. What should I do? Will he come around and start talking to me again? Should I give him space for now? I just want his love back to how it was.

My mom appears to be excessively emotionally dependent.

Hello, as the title suggests, my mom (50F) has always been really dependent on both me (19F) and my dad. I recently moved away for college, and I can only visit home about twice a year because it's far and expensive. Honestly, I’ve never felt happier—I was so unhappy back home, and moving has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. However, my mom has been asking me for a good morning and good night call every day, wanting to know what I’m doing, who I’m with, and more. While I can manage this to some extent, it’s been months, and it’s getting overwhelming. With my busy school schedule, I barely have time to sleep at night; I can’t be on the phone for three hours a day. My dad visited me this week since my mom couldn’t come due to visa issues. Now that he’s away too, she’s calling me even more frequently, which I understand, but a few days ago, I missed her call because I was occupied. I hung up and texted, "I’ll call you back," but when I called back an hour later, she was in tears, yelling at me for hanging up. She said I was her whole world and accused me of not caring and disrespecting her upbringing, saying she regretted sending me abroad for college. I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen. I eventually handed the phone to my dad to handle it because I was really upset. Yesterday and today, I called her three times, but she’s been cold and distant. Her eyes were puffy, and she mentioned feeling physically and mentally unwell but said she couldn’t talk to me about it because I never liked what she had to say. She’s been in bed wearing the same clothes, and I suspect she hasn’t eaten for two days. I’m genuinely worried, but I’m also incredibly frustrated because I don’t understand how to handle this. I feel guilty even though I don’t believe I did anything wrong. This situation is draining for both me and my dad, and I know it won’t be the last time this happens. The same issue arose when my dad and I were both away before, and now that I’m away for good and he has several upcoming business trips, I’m at a loss for what to do. What on earth should I do? 😭 TL;DR: My mom calls me four times a day, and when I declined a call once due to being busy, she got angry and has been in bed and not eating for two days. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

I'm an 18-year-old female, and I'm finding it difficult to connect with my partner, who is 19, as I'm having trouble making time for him.

I don't typically form many friendships, especially on a deeper level. However, I've recently connected with someone new, and we really get along well. This budding friendship has made me more acutely aware of just how emotionally distant I am from my partner. I could easily brush off those feelings before, but now, with this new friend in my life, it's harder to ignore. I find myself wanting to spend time with him, but I also feel the need to reconnect with my partner. I'm unsure how to strike a balance between the two, especially since their schedules are quite similar. My friendship with this new guy is developing quickly, and I’m worried about coming across as too preoccupied with my partner, a mistake I made too often in high school. I've always wished for a friend like this, and now that I finally have one, I’m not sure how to navigate it all.

Seeking guidance on relationships.

Subject: Seeking Advice on Our Relationship Hi, My girlfriend and I are both in our 30s; I don’t have any kids, but she has two from a previous relationship. Over the past month or two, I've started to feel like she's giving me "leftover" time. I’ve tried discussing it with her, explaining that it bothers me when she has time for friends and parties, but not for us to spend quality time together—whether it’s going out on a date or just sitting down for a chat. Lately, it seems like I only see her when she needs assistance with something, like driving her to a friend's party, helping with shopping for her kids, or fixing things around her house. Even when we do manage to spend time together, she often seems preoccupied with other tasks. It feels like there's little attention or effort from her side toward our relationship, and I can't recall the last time she planned something special for us. Yet, I notice she always carves out time for at least one evening with friends each week. From the beginning, I’ve been very supportive, offering my time, financial help, and assistance with her home and kids. Recently, when I expressed my feelings, she apologized and promised to work on our relationship. She even suggested creating a jar with color-coded notes for activities we can do together, but whenever I bring up the idea of preparing that jar, she seems too busy or uninterested. There have been some improvements in our communication, which is encouraging, but there are still many little things we've discussed and agreed upon that need attention to strengthen our relationship. I'm feeling quite lost right now. I want to understand how to support her better, yet I also sense a lack of appreciation and effort from her side. While I've tried addressing this and she promised to change, it hasn’t led to any significant progress. I genuinely love her, and the thought of breaking up is tough, as I don’t want to lose what we have. However, it’s starting to feel like I’m more of a convenience for her rather than a partner, especially as I become more involved in her children’s lives. I’m concerned about delaying action on this issue because the prospect of losing her and having to navigate life without the two kids is daunting. Has anyone experienced something similar in their relationship? I would appreciate any advice on how to communicate my feelings to her. Am I being too needy for expecting more? Thank you for your support.

A 22-year-old woman suggested a possible break to her 23-year-old boyfriend, as she feels their relationship has become stagnant. Could this be beneficial?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (23M) have been together for just over three years, but we’ve been experiencing some ups and downs for the past six months. We cycle between good and bad times, and I’ve made several mistakes along the way. I tend to project my own issues onto her and often seek constant validation, stemming from past trauma. Today, she suggested taking a break. We had talked about it a few months ago when our problems first began to surface. I genuinely want to work things out and break this negative cycle. It’s important to me to address my issues and become a better partner. I know that sometimes love fades, and she has been incredibly supportive, helping me in ways I never expected. During our conversation about the break, she mentioned that she might want one but isn’t entirely sure what she wants at the moment. While she still expresses love for me, the idea of a break is confusing. I understand that breaks can sometimes help couples gain perspective on their feelings, but there’s also a real possibility that this is just a stepping stone toward a breakup. I’ve come across many voices online that imply a break signals the end, but I genuinely believe she loves me based on her actions and support. It's possible she’s still undecided about her feelings. I can see the potential benefits of a break—time apart might help us both realize what we truly value in our relationship and perhaps even strengthen it. My main question is: how can I tell if she is genuinely committed to a constructive break with healthy boundaries? Would couples counseling be a better avenue to explore? Given that we’ve talked about our future together before but things have stagnated, is it possible for us to rekindle the love we once had? Can we fix our relationship, or is this just a way for her to create distance before a breakup? I know we need to talk this through together, but I’m also seeking some glimmer of hope from others. I believe not all relationships that hit a rough patch end in failure, and I want to hold on to the possibility of improvement. She brings me happiness, and while we share many similarities, we also have our differences. Maybe some time apart could help her focus on her own happiness while I work on the concerns she’s raised. Ultimately, I hope to show her that I’m capable of personal growth—for both her and myself. **TL;DR**: My girlfriend (22F) is uncertain about whether she wants a break, as she feels our relationship has become stagnant and fears resenting me (23M) in the long run.

I'm looking for advice regarding a girl from Peru.

I’m an Indian and I've been chatting with a Peruvian girl for the past 20 days. I’m looking for advice on how to maintain our relationship. We haven’t met in person yet; our connection started on Instagram. She shared her WhatsApp number with me, and I’d like to get some guidance on how to approach this. She recently called me on a video call, but I'm not very proficient in Spanish, and she's not great at English either. These days, we chat for about four hours. She primarily speaks Spanish.

My husband has been prioritizing his best friend's financial needs over our household. How can I address this issue?

My husband, Rich, and his best friend, Tom, started a business together six years ago. While it’s mainly Rich’s venture—he conceived the idea and handles over 80% of the workload—it's been struggling significantly. Calling it a financial burden would be an understatement; it’s essentially a money pit. The only reason it’s still operating is that Tom has been selling off investments to keep it afloat. For the record, I urged both of them to shut it down two years ago. Rich was ready to quit, but Tom wanted to continue, so Rich kept working. He feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude and guilt towards Tom for his ongoing financial support. If, or rather when, the business fails, both of them will have to declare bankruptcy. Fortunately, due to our state laws, Rich’s bankruptcy will only impact our joint assets, which means our house, cars, and my personal savings will remain safe and sound. I’m currently not working due to a disability and a surprise baby. My personal savings were meant to cover several months of our family’s expenses in case of Rich’s business failure and his job loss. Unfortunately, I’ve had to dip into that account multiple times over the past six years, leaving it significantly depleted. Last winter, we found ourselves in a tough situation where we couldn’t make ends meet. For several months, we went without essentials until I had to once again use my personal savings to fill the gap. In the spring, I discovered that during this time, Rich was only taking two-thirds of his salary, which made me extremely frustrated. This, among other issues related to his startup, led to us beginning marital counseling. Recently, during one of our sessions, I learned that he had been taking a reduced salary for a much longer period than I realized and had depleted our joint savings to lessen the amount of money Tom needed to invest in the business. I vaguely remember him mentioning a reduced salary long ago, and since that money would likely be lost in the upcoming bankruptcy, I’m not overly upset about that. However, what truly angers me is that after draining our joint account, instead of asking Tom to restore his full salary when we needed it, he chose not to for fear of adding stress to Tom's life. He admits he should have discussed this with me more openly, but now I can’t shake the feeling that I was excluded from crucial decisions and that he prioritized Tom over me. I feel deeply betrayed. I'm really struggling to move past this issue. Rich's startup is a significant point of contention in our relationship, and I no longer trust his judgment regarding it. On the flip side, he is a loving husband and a devoted father, and our counseling sessions have been beneficial. I’ve come to understand through therapy that I find it challenging to let go of the past and that I harbor some bitterness towards his business endeavors. Rich doesn’t seem to view this situation as a major problem. Am I being unreasonable? Regardless, how can we both move forward from this?

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