Relationship advices: Age Differences

'55M' and '27F'—she's breaking up with him. Would you do the same?

Here's a revised version of your text: "I'm significantly younger than him; he’s 55 and I’m 27. His health isn’t great, and I find myself contemplating moving on because he feels more like a father figure than a romantic partner. I got caught up in a relationship filled with lies and omissions, and as time has gone by, he seems to be falling apart. I’ve tried to be supportive, especially since life has thrown him some tough challenges, but it’s been exhausting to watch him struggle. He has no real support system, primarily because he has deceived the friends who once stood by him, and they ultimately abandoned him when his life spiraled out of control. He still keeps his struggles hidden from them and only confides in me. I’m at my wit's end playing the role of a pseudo-counselor, the listening ear, and the caretaker for someone I don’t love, respect, or admire. He doesn’t treat me with the care and respect I deserve. I’ve made room for him in my life out of pity, but my feelings for him aren't romantic. For me, genuine love is essential to build a home and family—I want children, and I’m in a fortunate position to conceive whenever I choose. However, he isn’t interested in a physical relationship, and honestly, neither am I. Part of my disinterest is due to his age and frail demeanor. He often struggles to engage with my excitement and enthusiasm for new things, frequently resorting to negativity. It seems he believes this will somehow keep me in check, but it only heightens my focus on my own goals, family, and aspirations. He’s clearly uncomfortable knowing I’ve seen his lows and may think I see him differently because of it. If I leave him to his own devices, he’ll likely fall apart emotionally due to his isolative tendencies. I don’t want to have to guide him; I desire to be led by a strong, spirited man who embodies traditional values—someone who can truly support me in all aspects of life. I dislike feeling like a daughter in this relationship; that's not what I want or need. I seek a partner, a best friend to share life's journey with, creating memorable experiences and navigating life together. In short: she’s a younger woman wanting to live fully and have children; he’s an older man who is choosing to retreat into himself. He expects her to be a domestic servant, while she feels pity and indulges him. He’s intentionally unhappy, and she chooses happiness, but he creates a dark shadow in her life. She desires a strong partner, someone who can lead and share passion with her, while he remains content but unengaging. She's made her needs clear, but he’s simply unable to meet them. What options does she have? Thank you to everyone who contributed to the discussion. I deeply resonate with all your insights. I wrote this during a personal crisis about my next steps. With the end of the year approaching and a new one on the horizon, it feels like the right time to let go of the past and embrace new beginnings."

I'm an 18-year-old female and I misled my boyfriend, who is 20, about my age when we first started dating. How should I tell him the truth after a few months of not being honest?

I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 20. At the time, I misrepresented my age because I didn't expect us to last beyond a few dates. I even tried to self-sabotage the relationship to escape the situation I had created, but he proved to be incredibly understanding and stuck by me through all the ups and downs. We connected on an app where I had my profile listed as 19—initially, I never intended to meet anyone from there; it was just for fun. When the topic of my age comes up, I’ve gone along with the story instead of clarifying the truth, though I don’t justify my actions. Fast forward almost a year, and I've fallen deeply in love with him, and we're now engaged. Yet, I still struggle to tell him the truth about my actual age. I know there’s never a perfect time to reveal something like this, but I’m at a loss for how to approach the conversation. I feel terrible whenever my age comes up, and the thought of losing him terrifies me. What if he reacts negatively? I recognize that what I did was wrong, but I’m unsure how to rectify the situation. On top of all this, I’m now pregnant with his child. I made sure to wait until I was of legal age to meet him in person, so there was nothing illegal about our relationship—just a moral dilemma I'm grappling with. Any advice would be appreciated.

I am a 31-year-old woman, and he is 56 years old.

I really like him; he has a wonderful personality and is very caring. However, the age gap concerns me. In a few years, if we decide to have kids, will he be able to play with them or join them for practices? Will we be able to travel together? I haven't traveled much before and there are so many experiences I'd love to have. I grew up in a strict household in the Middle East, so I missed out on a lot of those more adventurous things during my twenties that many others enjoyed. I'm a doctor and recently completed my residency, while he works as a producer in the film industry. We genuinely connect, and I find our conversations incredibly engaging—something I've never experienced with other guys.

Tips for managing a partner who may have anger issues?

My partner is 21 and I’m 26. We’ve been together for a year, and I’m uncertain whether his behavior is a permanent state or just part of his personal development, especially considering this is his first serious relationship and his frontal cortex is still maturing. He genuinely wants the best for me, takes responsibility for his actions, and often expresses gratitude for my patience with him. However, every few weeks, he experiences anger that he doesn’t always manage well. Over the course of our relationship, I've seen some improvement; he's stopped certain behaviors that he used to exhibit regularly. Still, he often gets upset, raises his voice, makes a few hurtful comments, and occasionally slams a door or an object during heated discussions. There’s one concerning trend: in the past, I could appeal to his logical side during his angry moments, and he’d quickly calm down. Lately, however, for the past couple of months, he seems to hold onto his anger longer, even when I get emotional, which used to trigger his empathy. Typically, after cooling down for about 30 minutes, he returns to apologize and appears genuinely remorseful, making an effort to treat me well for a while until the next trigger arises. When I address his reactions, he seems genuinely worried about how he behaves and admits he struggles to control it. I’ve seen him try to manage his anger, and it does seem challenging for him. I can’t fully relate to this struggle, which leaves me feeling confused. I can't help but wonder if he will always react this way. He tries to remain positive and hopeful that things will improve. I know that a few months ago, he confided in a friend about his outbursts and expressed worry about his behavior. He has been waiting for the new year to seek therapy and has started researching personal development and listening to podcasts about anger and self-control. While I can’t fully understand his lack of impulse control, I’ve recognized moments over the past couple of years where I’ve reacted differently than I might have at 20, surprising myself with my own growth. This gives me hope that he can change too, especially since he genuinely wants to improve and treat me better during conflicts. Is it common for people to struggle with how they treat their loved ones? Can it be resolved? Could his challenges be linked to his developing frontal cortex?