Relationship advices: Mental Health

My ex-boyfriend is insisting he was abducted into an underground fight club—how should I deal with my skepticism?

My ex-boyfriend (25M) once shared a harrowing experience from his teenage years when he was kidnapped by gang members and coerced into fighting in an underground ring. He described how some kids participated willingly, but others, like him, were threatened and had no choice but to fight. He recounted eerie scenes involving masked bettors, weapons, and how they were even forced to take MDMA to dull the pain. He once took me to a location he claimed was where the fights occurred, but I could only see the top of the building, not the underground area. He appeared visibly anxious, and during a conversation about a "final fight" that he had to win to escape, he became overwhelmed with emotion and broke down in tears. A few months later, he showed me an email from someone who allegedly organized the fights, stating, "We want you back." I've been wrestling with this in my mind—could events like this really take place? If so, how frequently does it happen? And if not, what could have motivated him to share such a story? This has been heavy on my mind, and I'm struggling to process it. Any insights would be greatly appreciated, as I've felt awful for him, but since our breakup, the whole narrative seems inconsistent.

My girlfriend (24) is dealing with depression, and I'm feeling lost on how to support her.

I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about nine months now, and she frequently experiences depressive episodes that cause her to pull away significantly. During those times, it feels as if I no longer have a girlfriend. Because of our busy schedules, we can only meet 1-3 times a week, and sometimes not at all. I find it challenging to support her when she declines my efforts to see her and takes hours to respond to my texts. When she finally does reply, her messages are brief and lack the usual warmth, which is out of character for her. Should I consider reaching out to her parents or friends to share what’s going on? Is it appropriate to send her supportive messages even though I haven’t received a response to my last one? I genuinely want to be there for her, but it feels like she’s intentionally keeping me at a distance. It’s tough for me knowing she’s struggling and feeling helpless about how to assist her. She mentioned that she doesn’t want to discuss her feelings because it’s overwhelming, yet it’s difficult to maintain a normal conversation when I feel responsible for carrying it due to her minimal replies. I’m unsure whether I should continue to express my usual cheerful self around her or scale back my emotions so I don’t add to her stress. She rarely shares what’s bothering her, only mentioning that she’s in a “weird mood.” The decline in her mood has been gradual but worsened over the past week and a half—she initially told me her mood had dipped, but even our daily exchanges of "good morning" and "good night" have stopped. Now, I barely receive one or two texts a day, and she has turned down my attempts to see her since this started. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I truly want to do everything I can for the person I love.

M(21) F(22) My girlfriend told me last week that I’m the only one who makes her happy, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure because of it.

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year and four months. Throughout this time, we've shared wonderful moments and created lasting memories, but she has faced a challenging family life marked by emotional abuse and has few friends to support her. Since we began dating, she has struggled with anxiety, often becoming overwhelmed by the smallest issues. I understand how debilitating anxiety can be, and I want to be supportive without adding to her stress. She has opened up about feeling insecure about her appearance and experiencing deep depression, mentioning that I'm the only person who brings her joy. While I've tried to manage my feelings and support her over the past year, I'm currently juggling college, a sport, and a part-time job, which can be overwhelming. I sometimes feel the weight of responsibility for her happiness, rather than just enjoying the role of being her boyfriend. Recently, I excitedly shared news about a potential summer internship, and her reaction was a sarcastic "great," expressing concern that it would limit our time together since the internship is in a different area. When I pointed out her comment, she abruptly said we were done. I was taken aback and asked if she really wanted to break up; she quickly clarified that she didn’t want that but felt jealous that I seem to have everything figured out while she struggles to find work in her field. This made me feel terrible, and all I could do was hold her as she cried. We've gone through this cycle of "breaking up" about five times now, and each time, I sense that she doesn't genuinely want to end things. This last incident hit me hard because she's expressed feelings of hopelessness, saying she doesn't want to be here anymore. I can't imagine leaving her, as I love her deeply and worry about how she would cope without my support. I really need some advice because I’ve been struggling with this situation a lot.

Is love a form of mental illness? Here's my perspective.

With ample time and exposure, it's possible to cultivate a deep affection or love for nearly anything—be it a person, hobby, place, or even an inanimate object. This evolution occurs as familiarity and understanding grow, ultimately fostering what we perceive as love. Recent research utilizing brain scans illustrates that the experience of being in love triggers changes in the brain that bear striking resemblance to certain severe mental health issues, including drug addiction. Research indicates that serotonin levels tend to decline in the initial phases of love, a phenomenon also observed in individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This drop in serotonin may clarify the obsessive thoughts associated with infatuation, which often impede logical and long-term thinking. Serotonin, a hormone naturally produced by the body, plays a crucial role in a variety of bodily functions; thus, developing love for someone or something could, in a way, create a sort of mental imbalance. Furthermore, studies have shown that being in love can induce a euphoric experience similar to the high felt from illicit drugs like cocaine, leading to feelings of obsession and addiction, which can leave individuals in a vulnerable state of mind. Socrates referred to love as a form of divine madness, while Plato famously stated, “Love is a serious mental disease,” a sentiment that rings true. "Love sickness" is not merely a poetic expression for those in the throes of romance; it has been examined as a genuine condition. What are your thoughts?

Male, 28 years old; Female, 28 years old; relationship

I've been in a relationship with my partner for about three years. I've consistently talked to her about my mental health, but I feel like she's not really supporting me. Whenever I bring it up, she interprets it as me "bashing" her and insists that she's "trying so hard." I keep stating that all I need from her is a simple question about how I'm doing. Before Christmas, we had an argument about this. I bought a gift for her mother, and she kept asking when I would deliver it. When I inquired if she had gotten anything for my mom or sister, she replied that she "hadn't gotten around to it but would" and then mentioned how much she had spent on her own "loved ones" but would still do something. It's not about the cost or the gift for me; I value the thought behind it. Now I'm left wondering if this is a sign of manipulation or just a lack of care.

I (18 male) am struggling to support my girlfriend (18 female) and really need some guidance.

Here's an alternate version of your text: "A bit of background: My girlfriend (18f) and I (18m) have been together for about a year and a half. Initially, everything was great, but after we reached the one-year mark, things started to decline. I understand that getting comfortable in a relationship can mean relying on each other, and while I appreciate her doing this, I also want to support her in any way I can. Recently, however, whenever I try to help her feel better—whether through a phone call when I can’t be there in person or by doing something nice for her—she often responds by saying I don’t understand what she’s going through and that I never will because I’ve always had what I want. While it’s true that I've been fortunate, I’ve worked hard to achieve what I have and made significant changes in my life to get here. This cycle repeats every time I try to help, and it leaves me feeling lost since she doesn’t seem to listen. About her: She’s quite introverted and has only a small circle of friends. She's trying to pursue a music career, but it hasn’t been going well. I’ve suggested she consider different coaching options, but she’s resistant to that. She has struggled with feelings of not fitting in for a long time, which I find hard to believe because she’s genuinely fun to be around. She’s been dealing with significant depression for a while now, even before we started dating. I truly love her and want to help, but I feel powerless to do so. I’ve tried everything I can think of, even seeking advice from friends, but nothing seems to work. I’m reaching out for guidance because this situation is taking a serious toll on my mental health, and I’m feeling overwhelmed."