Relationship advices

Relocating from a developed nation to a developing nation for the sake of love?

I'm a 20-year-old female in a relationship with a 20-year-old male. We're from different countries; we met three years ago when he visited Canada, where I'm from. We've been together for two years and have been living together in Canada for the past year. Recently, he suggested that I move to his country due to rising inflation and living costs here. Initially, I was hesitant, but I decided to visit for over two months to explore and immerse myself in his culture, taste local foods, and learn some of his language. The experience was quite a roller coaster; there were days I felt lonely without my family and friends, yet I also had incredible moments. Ultimately, the decision to stay there is mine, as he won’t be coming back to Canada. If I choose to remain, my plan would be to learn the language and look for work while he attends university. Although the lifestyle there wouldn’t be stressful for me, it means leaving behind my loved ones. Is moving to a developing country for love a worthwhile choice? TL;DR: Would you relocate from a developed country to a developing country for love?

Facing Challenges in Expressing My Feelings as a 21-Year-Old Female in My Relationship with My 21-Year-Old Boyfriend, While Aiming to Be Understood Without Sparking Conflict

I’m a 21-year-old female who struggles to express my feelings when I’m upset, both in my relationship and with others. This often leads me to become emotional or use a tone that can come off as condescending, which is not my intention and makes communication difficult. Recently, I went through a challenging week after a medical procedure that left me feeling physically and mentally exhausted. My boyfriend, who is 21, was aware of this, but I felt he didn't offer the support I needed. A few days later was my birthday, and I shared with him that I was disappointed about having to work all day. I had hoped he would do something special for me, especially since I went all out for his birthday just two weeks earlier. I even made him his favorite childhood pie from scratch, surprised him with a celebration when he came home from school, complete with candles and gifts. However, after my shift on my birthday, I came home to no surprises. He even asked me to get snacks when I hadn’t eaten and then brought back food just for himself, saying he "forgot the flowers." For context, we had decided at the last minute to see each other after I finished work because I wanted to spend time with him, and he had already given me my birthday present a couple of days ahead of time. I tried to lift my spirits, but later that night, he became irritated when I attempted to talk while we were watching a movie—one we had seen before. The next morning, we went to the mall and tried on clothes; I even purchased perfume for both of us for Christmas so we could pick out scents for each other. Afterward, I drove 30 minutes to pick him up from hanging out with friends, paid for his meal, and took him home. The following morning, I mentioned the flowers again, and he dismissed it with, "How long is your birthday going to last?" When I tried to explain why my birthday is important to me and how I wanted to feel celebrated by him, his response was just, "I apologize," followed by him turning away. This pattern of reacting to my concerns by simply apologizing and then ending the conversation without further discussion is becoming frustrating. Although this makes my relationship sound troubling, there is a lot of love between us. He puts in effort in other ways, like always wanting to spend time with me. We've been together for two years, and this is his first serious relationship, so I recognize that he’s still learning. I care for him deeply and want us to grow together, but I also need my feelings to be acknowledged and validated. I'd genuinely appreciate an outside perspective. How can I approach this situation better, or is this dynamic a potential red flag? I prefer not to discuss this with my friends as I know they would automatically take my side, and I don’t want them to form negative opinions about him. Honest feedback would be really helpful—thank you for taking the time to read this!

25M (me) 22F - Do you think texting every day is essential?

Hello everyone, My partner and I have been together for about 8 months now, seeing each other 2-3 times a week. I love her, but there are some days when we don't message at all. I'm curious about how other couples handle this. Do you communicate regularly throughout the day? Does it make you uneasy if you don’t talk to your partner for a whole day? I’ve brought this up with her before, asking how often she prefers to message, and she said she’s fine with daily communication but also comfortable with not messaging every day. I don’t want to come across as clingy by insisting we need to talk every day. She usually reaches out first if we haven’t spoken in a day or two, checking in on me. Is anyone else here in a similar situation? How do you feel about not speaking every day? Is daily communication essential for you?

36-year-old man seeks advice to prevent losing his family.

I'm 36, and my partner is also 36; we’ve been together for 11 years. We have two children: a 13-year-old daughter whom I didn't father biologically but have been a dad to for most of her life, and a 4-year-old son that we share. Recently, my partner told me she doesn't want to get married, which honestly hurt. We've faced many challenges over the years, yet we always seemed to rebound. I'll admit that I cheated on her two years into our relationship, something I regret deeply and promised myself would never happen again. Since then, I’ve worked hard to be a supportive partner and father for my family. However, lately, it feels like we’re just going through the motions. The spark we once had seems to have faded, and we're mostly coexisting rather than truly connecting. Things took a turn after a significant argument about her spending habits and a lack of intimacy (it’s been three months). Additionally, I did become close with a co-worker. While it was purely platonic, I confided in her about my relationship, which I now realize was a huge mistake—my partner found out. Since then, she has been acting differently; she takes longer to reply to my messages, goes out with friends more often, and seems distant overall. When we discussed it, she assured me that she still loves me and always will, which I believe. Yet, when I approached the topic of marriage again, she told me she wasn’t interested, which caught me off guard. I recognize that I should've proposed a long time ago, but now I'm left wondering if she's emotionally checked out. I even suspect she might be seeing someone else since she's been staying out late. If she's ready to move on, I can understand—maybe it's karma for my past mistakes. Still, I want to do everything I can to make this work, and I think we owe it to each other to have an open and honest conversation. I'm planning to take her out to dinner soon to discuss everything and understand the future direction of our relationship. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this without pushing her further away or making matters worse.

I (26F) have been experiencing grief over a potential breakup with my boyfriend (29M), even though it hasn't occurred yet.

I (26F) feel like I'm already grieving a breakup that seems inevitable after nearly 10 years together. My boyfriend (29M) and I started our relationship when we were just 16 and 20 years old. The first couple of years were challenging, particularly due to a few incidents of infidelity on his part. However, we managed to work through those issues with open communication and honesty, and nothing of that nature has happened since. We experienced a strong connection, embodying the "opposites attract" cliché, and for about five years, our relationship flourished. Sadly, over the last three years, it has begun to fade. During my teenage years, I faced many struggles and felt an intense need for his love. Issues with my parents led me to consider emancipation at 16, and I eventually moved out at 17 to live with my boyfriend and his family. My relationship with my parents has improved significantly since then, and we've built a wonderful bond. However, I'm concerned about how a potential breakup could affect our current dynamics, especially since my boyfriend wishes to stay connected to my family, which I cannot control—and wouldn't want to. I'm also close to his family, and it's heartbreaking to think I might lose that connection. My boyfriend has been there for me during both the highs and lows of my life, just as I've been for him. We have three wonderful cats together that I couldn’t take with me if I moved out. Returning to my parents isn't an option for me right now, and I’m in the process of improving my financial situation so I can eventually live independently. The only feasible housing arrangement would be with my best friend, her fiancé, and her two lovely daughters (ages 6 and 8), whom I consider my nieces. However, I worry that my sadness might strain our friendship if I move in with them. For the past few years, my boyfriend and I have felt increasingly out of sync, primarily due to differing political views, philosophical beliefs, and attitudes toward money and value. In our decade together, we’ve never taken a break because I believe in an "all or nothing" approach to relationships, and I’m not convinced breaks would be beneficial for me. Tonight, we had an extended conversation about how our differences are driving us apart instead of bringing us together. We both feel that our life together has become mundane, with more bad days punctuated by a few good moments. We want the best for each other and acknowledge that we deserve to pursue true happiness—yet we’re uncertain if that can be found together anymore. I feel like I've been hesitant to confront this for the last couple of years, though a part of me has been ready to move on. My identity feels intertwined with him, and I'm scared of who I might be without him. I’m feeling lost and anxious about what the future holds, whether we should make an effort to stay together longer or officially end things and seek our individual paths to happiness. Thank you for taking the time to read my lengthy, but only partially explored, post. How do we choose which direction to take? What coping strategies could help if we do break up? How can we have a constructive discussion to reach a decision? I would love to hear your thoughts. TL;DR: My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 years, and we’re contemplating a breakup. I find myself mourning the loss of our relationship before it’s even ended, and I’m unsure about what steps to take next.

My boyfriend hasn't been keeping anyone updated recently.

Hello! I’m a 20-year-old female, and my boyfriend, who is 21, and I have not communicated for a month. This situation began when he started struggling in his IT classes last semester. For some background, he was previously the class valedictorian and graduated with the highest grades in his school's history. He switched his major from Computer Science to Information Technology and transferred schools looking for a "fresh start." He chose this field primarily for financial reasons, having read about it on Reddit. Unfortunately, instead of improving, he seems to have given up. I've heard he even skipped his practical exams, leaving his groupmates in a tough position and barely able to pass. This behavior is very uncharacteristic of him. I’ve tried my best to support him, as have his friends, but he has withdrawn into isolation, fearing that he might “hurt others.” He used to have a carefree attitude and would often get into conflicts, but he has become more reserved over time, particularly after we started dating, which helped him move past his gambling addiction. Both his friends and I are really concerned about him. While I want to be there for him, my grandfather was hospitalized, and I’ve had to prioritize that. I’ve continued to reach out and keep him updated, but he hasn’t replied. He’s isolating himself from everyone. I even contacted his father when he missed an event he was supposed to host, but they dismissed it, saying he was just “tired.” I’m genuinely at a loss for what to do. Breaking up isn’t an option for me; I don’t want to add to his struggles during this difficult time.

I'm a 20-year-old guy currently feeling like I'm being treated more like a plaything than a partner by my girlfriend, who is also 20. This dynamic has come about because I've hurt her in the past and have been rude to her. I’m seeking advice on whether I should stay in this relationship or if it’s time to move on.

I'm a 20-year-old guy, and my girlfriend is also 20. We've been in a relationship for over two years, but it often feels forced. We both thought we were meant for each other, but it was clear from the start that she had unresolved feelings for her ex and had loved another guy deeply until I proposed to her, and she accepted. We've been through a lot together, experiencing many ups and downs and intense arguments. After some serious fights, we tried to start anew. For a while, things improved, and I even gave up hobbies and friendships to focus on our relationship because I believed I needed to make up for past mistakes and that she had the right to expect my commitment. However, I was friends with a girl in college whom I didn’t share much about my relationship with, and that made my girlfriend extremely jealous. Things escalated, and I had to cut off that friendship, creating a significant rift. Every time I saw that girl, I felt reminded of how I had let my girlfriend down. Then, one day we had a fight, and she began reaching out to her ex, sending a follow request to a guy she used to love on her private Instagram. That was when I completely lost it. Even though she immediately apologized, the damage was done. I felt heartbroken and betrayed, and I started seeing her more as his ex than my girlfriend. She did block the guy eventually and apologized countless times, even threatening suicide and ending up in the ER for two days when I stopped communicating with her. After things calmed down, she wanted to start fresh, and we did. But we had another serious fight that led us to block each other. When I later apologized, she brought up her ex again and compared me to him, expressing her desire to be with him instead. Now, I adjust to whatever she wants, even when it hurts me. I buy her things her dad won’t get her, and we often argue about it. I work a side job to cover my expenses and treat myself occasionally, but she doesn't like it when I spend money on myself and feels I’m not treating her equally. I sometimes think this is unreasonable; I'm not obligated to cover all her expenses. Yet here I am, almost begging her to stay with me and letting her walk all over my self-respect. I’m not sure why I’m doing this. Is this okay? What should I do? I've isolated myself from my friends because she doesn’t want me spending time with them. I feel lonely, guilty for past mistakes, and I think I’m acting like a “slave” to make up for my past behavior, even though her actions, like reaching out to her ex and seeking attention from other guys, have contributed to our problems. I’m lost and need someone to talk to about this. Sorry for my English; it's not my first language. **TL;DR:** I've been rude to my girlfriend, and now I feel like I'm her servant, hoping to stay together.

My boyfriend struggles with emotional regulation, and it's beginning to impact me.

To provide some context, I'm a 22-year-old woman and he's a 21-year-old man; we've been in a happy relationship for three years now. From the beginning of our relationship, we've had frequent arguments due to his behavior. He tends to be very impulsive and struggles to manage his emotions, often becoming extremely angry when he's feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated. Since we’re both neurodivergent, I’ve always tried to understand him, but it’s been challenging to witness his anger escalate every couple of days. About two or three months ago, he started seeing a therapist to address this issue, and I’m really glad he’s taking this step. While he’s improving in managing his anger, I can't shake the feeling that he’s doing it more for me than for himself. He actually admitted that he sought therapy primarily to avoid losing me, rather than for his own personal growth. This confuses me because, in my opinion, therapy should be about self-improvement rather than simply trying to please someone else, and I worry it might not be effective in the long run. Even though he's not as frequently angry, he still struggles significantly with handling frustration and sadness. Recently, he accidentally broke my laptop and became incredibly upset, crying heavily. I wasn’t angry at him; I could see how distressed he was. While I tried to fix my iPad, he started to hurt himself, and I had to intervene. This crying episode went on for at least an hour, and it heightened my own stress. I attempted to reassure him multiple times, letting him know I wasn't upset and that it wasn't his fault. However, he kept asking, "How are you going to manage now?" which felt very strange to me—it’s just an object, after all, and his reaction seemed disproportionate. He acted as if he had just witnessed something truly tragic. The next morning, I expressed my concern about his reaction and how it felt excessive to me, but he didn’t seem to understand. To him, his response was entirely reasonable and there was nothing wrong with it. I’m starting to question whether I can stay in this relationship if this is how he will respond to life's challenges. Additionally, his extreme reactions sometimes make me feel like I have to suppress my own emotions just to be in a position to support him, rather than allowing myself to process what I’m feeling.

What should I consider if my boyfriend cheated on his ex two years ago?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year now, and he’s my first serious relationship, just as I am his. I'm an 18-year-old female, and he's an 18-year-old male. About ten months into our relationship, I used his iPad and found some concerning posts on his social media feed. As I explored further, I noticed he had been liking several suggestive pictures of attractive girls, including some recent ones from just a few days prior. This behavior was surprising since he seemed more discreet on his phone, but it turned out he had a separate account on the iPad. I confronted him about it, and since then, he has stopped using the iPad and given me access to all his other social media accounts. He’s been very patient as I work through my feelings and acknowledges the impact his actions had on our relationship. He’s genuinely trying to make amends. I’ve been gradually forgiving him because he hasn’t cheated on me, right? However, earlier today, I found myself bored and went through some of his old messages. I came across a conversation with a female friend from two years ago, which included explicit messages between them. I checked the dates, and they coincided with the time he was still involved with his ex-girlfriend. He would turn to her whenever he had issues with that relationship, and it seems they were never caught during that time. Although they haven't communicated in over a year, I’m struggling with how to process this new information. I'm a firm believer that once a cheater, always a cheater, yet this was two years ago, and he doesn’t talk to anyone else besides me and his family now. We spend nearly all our time together, and he effectively lives with me, so I’m aware that he doesn’t have much of a social life outside our relationship. Despite how it may sound, he has been devoted to me since I discovered he was liking and engaging with other women online. I occasionally check his accounts, and everything seems clean. I regret looking into his past, but I can't shake the feeling that it may hint at future issues. It’s frustrating because I see that he’s making an effort to change, and he has been understanding of my feelings. If we continue, I know it would be difficult for him to betray my trust since I have access to everything and am aware of his every move. I’m unsure how to approach this situation or what to think about it all. What should I do next?

My relationship can be unhealthy at times, but I have no desire to end it. In fact, I can’t imagine anything worse than leaving him. I feel really embarrassed about this. For some context, I'm a 24-year-old woman and he's a 30-year-old man; we've been together for 5 years. Does anyone have any advice?

At times, when my partner is extremely angry, he can hurt me or impose some form of punishment that, I must admit, I sometimes enable. It's important to note that this behavior only occurs when he is very upset, and it’s always in reaction to something I've actually done. He doesn’t just come home from work and start an argument every night. It also doesn’t happen when he’s upset about matters beyond my control. He is incredibly caring and supportive, and he has endured a lot of stress that I have contributed to over the past couple of years. However, I recognize that this dynamic is unhealthy. I’ve attempted to discuss it with him multiple times, but those conversations have only made things more difficult in the short term. Even though I know this isn’t a positive situation, I have no desire to leave him—I want to spend the rest of my life with him. It worries me that I might be overlooking the seriousness of his behavior. I would appreciate any advice, as I feel embarrassed, ashamed, and needy for enabling this situation while loving him so deeply. I honestly believe he loves me, and at times I interpret his outbursts as a sign of his passion for our relationship, thinking it reflects our deep love. Yet, I know logically that this isn’t the way to view the situation. If anyone has suggestions for how I can improve our relationship, I would be very grateful. Thank you in advance for your help. For context, I’m a 24-year-old female, and he’s a 30-year-old male, and we've been together for five years.

Should I talk to my boyfriend about his gaming friend?

My boyfriend (21) and I (22) have been together for 9 months. He really enjoys playing video games, and every night he dedicates 2-3 hours to gaming. Afterwards, he’s usually too tired to chat and just goes to sleep. I've been feeling a bit insecure, so I decided to look into his gaming habits. I discovered that he mostly plays with a female streamer, and it seems like they frequently team up during her streams. This made me feel quite jealous. I want to bring this up with him, but I'm unsure how to approach the topic. Part of me wants to test him to see if he’ll be honest about it, while the other part just wants to have an open conversation and express my concerns. I can't shake the feeling that there might be some flirting going on during their games. What should I do? I really need some advice!

My boyfriend has been acting distant and unresponsive since our argument, and I’m unsure of how to handle the situation.

My boyfriend (19) and I (19) have been together for six months, and we celebrated our half-year anniversary on December 2nd in Downtown Toronto. He surprised me with an Airbnb that he decorated beautifully. Unfortunately, since then, we've had a significant argument. It all began when I reached out to a close friend (let's call him Steve, also 19) to talk about some troubling things my roommates (who are also my friends) were saying behind my back. I really needed someone to confide in, and since my boyfriend wasn't responding because of our argument, I thought it best to give him space. I messaged Steve for support, as I was very upset and needed to reassure myself that I wasn’t a bad person. Later that day, my boyfriend finally reached out, and I honestly told him I'd spoken to Steve and invited him over to talk things out. My boyfriend was hurt that I contacted Steve instead of him. I tried to explain that I was worried he wouldn't reply, but he wouldn’t hear me out. Two weeks have passed since that incident, and my boyfriend has been distant and cold. We’ve discussed the situation several times, and I've apologized, assuring him I won’t reach out to anyone else when I’m feeling down and will message him instead, regardless of his mood. Despite this, he continues to be uncharacteristically quiet, and while he interacts normally with his friends, he hardly touches or speaks to me and only called me “baby” during intimate moments. The last time we genuinely connected was on Sunday after he returned from a night out with friends for a birthday celebration, but since Monday, he’s gone silent again. I’ve tried discussing what’s bothering him repeatedly but to no avail. Today, he finally expressed that he’s upset about me reaching out to Steve, regardless of my apologies. He also mentioned he was hurt by a dream I shared that involved his ex, even though he had asked me to tell him about my dream when I hesitated. This conversation escalated into another argument. When I asked if he was falling out of love with me due to his behavior over the last couple of weeks, he insisted that he wasn’t. I’ve come to terms with what happened with my friends and decided to approach them openly, learning from the experience. However, I’m unsure how to navigate my relationship with my boyfriend now. I love him deeply, see a future with him, and my parents have just become more accepting of our relationship. This connection means a lot to me, and I don’t want to walk away from it. We’ve had moments where he has thrown my past at me, and he’s even suggested breaking up, which I’ve consistently resisted because I don’t want others to view us as toxic. Right now, I feel lost and drained. I’m not even crying about the idea of a breakup unless it’s mentioned during an argument—I'm just too exhausted emotionally for that. The only time I cried was today when I attempted to communicate with him and was met with silence. What should I do? Will he come around and start talking to me again? Should I give him space for now? I just want his love back to how it was.

My mom appears to be excessively emotionally dependent.

Hello, as the title suggests, my mom (50F) has always been really dependent on both me (19F) and my dad. I recently moved away for college, and I can only visit home about twice a year because it's far and expensive. Honestly, I’ve never felt happier—I was so unhappy back home, and moving has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. However, my mom has been asking me for a good morning and good night call every day, wanting to know what I’m doing, who I’m with, and more. While I can manage this to some extent, it’s been months, and it’s getting overwhelming. With my busy school schedule, I barely have time to sleep at night; I can’t be on the phone for three hours a day. My dad visited me this week since my mom couldn’t come due to visa issues. Now that he’s away too, she’s calling me even more frequently, which I understand, but a few days ago, I missed her call because I was occupied. I hung up and texted, "I’ll call you back," but when I called back an hour later, she was in tears, yelling at me for hanging up. She said I was her whole world and accused me of not caring and disrespecting her upbringing, saying she regretted sending me abroad for college. I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen. I eventually handed the phone to my dad to handle it because I was really upset. Yesterday and today, I called her three times, but she’s been cold and distant. Her eyes were puffy, and she mentioned feeling physically and mentally unwell but said she couldn’t talk to me about it because I never liked what she had to say. She’s been in bed wearing the same clothes, and I suspect she hasn’t eaten for two days. I’m genuinely worried, but I’m also incredibly frustrated because I don’t understand how to handle this. I feel guilty even though I don’t believe I did anything wrong. This situation is draining for both me and my dad, and I know it won’t be the last time this happens. The same issue arose when my dad and I were both away before, and now that I’m away for good and he has several upcoming business trips, I’m at a loss for what to do. What on earth should I do? 😭 TL;DR: My mom calls me four times a day, and when I declined a call once due to being busy, she got angry and has been in bed and not eating for two days. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

I'm an 18-year-old female, and I'm finding it difficult to connect with my partner, who is 19, as I'm having trouble making time for him.

I don't typically form many friendships, especially on a deeper level. However, I've recently connected with someone new, and we really get along well. This budding friendship has made me more acutely aware of just how emotionally distant I am from my partner. I could easily brush off those feelings before, but now, with this new friend in my life, it's harder to ignore. I find myself wanting to spend time with him, but I also feel the need to reconnect with my partner. I'm unsure how to strike a balance between the two, especially since their schedules are quite similar. My friendship with this new guy is developing quickly, and I’m worried about coming across as too preoccupied with my partner, a mistake I made too often in high school. I've always wished for a friend like this, and now that I finally have one, I’m not sure how to navigate it all.

Seeking guidance on relationships.

Subject: Seeking Advice on Our Relationship Hi, My girlfriend and I are both in our 30s; I don’t have any kids, but she has two from a previous relationship. Over the past month or two, I've started to feel like she's giving me "leftover" time. I’ve tried discussing it with her, explaining that it bothers me when she has time for friends and parties, but not for us to spend quality time together—whether it’s going out on a date or just sitting down for a chat. Lately, it seems like I only see her when she needs assistance with something, like driving her to a friend's party, helping with shopping for her kids, or fixing things around her house. Even when we do manage to spend time together, she often seems preoccupied with other tasks. It feels like there's little attention or effort from her side toward our relationship, and I can't recall the last time she planned something special for us. Yet, I notice she always carves out time for at least one evening with friends each week. From the beginning, I’ve been very supportive, offering my time, financial help, and assistance with her home and kids. Recently, when I expressed my feelings, she apologized and promised to work on our relationship. She even suggested creating a jar with color-coded notes for activities we can do together, but whenever I bring up the idea of preparing that jar, she seems too busy or uninterested. There have been some improvements in our communication, which is encouraging, but there are still many little things we've discussed and agreed upon that need attention to strengthen our relationship. I'm feeling quite lost right now. I want to understand how to support her better, yet I also sense a lack of appreciation and effort from her side. While I've tried addressing this and she promised to change, it hasn’t led to any significant progress. I genuinely love her, and the thought of breaking up is tough, as I don’t want to lose what we have. However, it’s starting to feel like I’m more of a convenience for her rather than a partner, especially as I become more involved in her children’s lives. I’m concerned about delaying action on this issue because the prospect of losing her and having to navigate life without the two kids is daunting. Has anyone experienced something similar in their relationship? I would appreciate any advice on how to communicate my feelings to her. Am I being too needy for expecting more? Thank you for your support.

A 22-year-old woman suggested a possible break to her 23-year-old boyfriend, as she feels their relationship has become stagnant. Could this be beneficial?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (23M) have been together for just over three years, but we’ve been experiencing some ups and downs for the past six months. We cycle between good and bad times, and I’ve made several mistakes along the way. I tend to project my own issues onto her and often seek constant validation, stemming from past trauma. Today, she suggested taking a break. We had talked about it a few months ago when our problems first began to surface. I genuinely want to work things out and break this negative cycle. It’s important to me to address my issues and become a better partner. I know that sometimes love fades, and she has been incredibly supportive, helping me in ways I never expected. During our conversation about the break, she mentioned that she might want one but isn’t entirely sure what she wants at the moment. While she still expresses love for me, the idea of a break is confusing. I understand that breaks can sometimes help couples gain perspective on their feelings, but there’s also a real possibility that this is just a stepping stone toward a breakup. I’ve come across many voices online that imply a break signals the end, but I genuinely believe she loves me based on her actions and support. It's possible she’s still undecided about her feelings. I can see the potential benefits of a break—time apart might help us both realize what we truly value in our relationship and perhaps even strengthen it. My main question is: how can I tell if she is genuinely committed to a constructive break with healthy boundaries? Would couples counseling be a better avenue to explore? Given that we’ve talked about our future together before but things have stagnated, is it possible for us to rekindle the love we once had? Can we fix our relationship, or is this just a way for her to create distance before a breakup? I know we need to talk this through together, but I’m also seeking some glimmer of hope from others. I believe not all relationships that hit a rough patch end in failure, and I want to hold on to the possibility of improvement. She brings me happiness, and while we share many similarities, we also have our differences. Maybe some time apart could help her focus on her own happiness while I work on the concerns she’s raised. Ultimately, I hope to show her that I’m capable of personal growth—for both her and myself. **TL;DR**: My girlfriend (22F) is uncertain about whether she wants a break, as she feels our relationship has become stagnant and fears resenting me (23M) in the long run.

I'm looking for advice regarding a girl from Peru.

I’m an Indian and I've been chatting with a Peruvian girl for the past 20 days. I’m looking for advice on how to maintain our relationship. We haven’t met in person yet; our connection started on Instagram. She shared her WhatsApp number with me, and I’d like to get some guidance on how to approach this. She recently called me on a video call, but I'm not very proficient in Spanish, and she's not great at English either. These days, we chat for about four hours. She primarily speaks Spanish.

My husband has been prioritizing his best friend's financial needs over our household. How can I address this issue?

My husband, Rich, and his best friend, Tom, started a business together six years ago. While it’s mainly Rich’s venture—he conceived the idea and handles over 80% of the workload—it's been struggling significantly. Calling it a financial burden would be an understatement; it’s essentially a money pit. The only reason it’s still operating is that Tom has been selling off investments to keep it afloat. For the record, I urged both of them to shut it down two years ago. Rich was ready to quit, but Tom wanted to continue, so Rich kept working. He feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude and guilt towards Tom for his ongoing financial support. If, or rather when, the business fails, both of them will have to declare bankruptcy. Fortunately, due to our state laws, Rich’s bankruptcy will only impact our joint assets, which means our house, cars, and my personal savings will remain safe and sound. I’m currently not working due to a disability and a surprise baby. My personal savings were meant to cover several months of our family’s expenses in case of Rich’s business failure and his job loss. Unfortunately, I’ve had to dip into that account multiple times over the past six years, leaving it significantly depleted. Last winter, we found ourselves in a tough situation where we couldn’t make ends meet. For several months, we went without essentials until I had to once again use my personal savings to fill the gap. In the spring, I discovered that during this time, Rich was only taking two-thirds of his salary, which made me extremely frustrated. This, among other issues related to his startup, led to us beginning marital counseling. Recently, during one of our sessions, I learned that he had been taking a reduced salary for a much longer period than I realized and had depleted our joint savings to lessen the amount of money Tom needed to invest in the business. I vaguely remember him mentioning a reduced salary long ago, and since that money would likely be lost in the upcoming bankruptcy, I’m not overly upset about that. However, what truly angers me is that after draining our joint account, instead of asking Tom to restore his full salary when we needed it, he chose not to for fear of adding stress to Tom's life. He admits he should have discussed this with me more openly, but now I can’t shake the feeling that I was excluded from crucial decisions and that he prioritized Tom over me. I feel deeply betrayed. I'm really struggling to move past this issue. Rich's startup is a significant point of contention in our relationship, and I no longer trust his judgment regarding it. On the flip side, he is a loving husband and a devoted father, and our counseling sessions have been beneficial. I’ve come to understand through therapy that I find it challenging to let go of the past and that I harbor some bitterness towards his business endeavors. Rich doesn’t seem to view this situation as a major problem. Am I being unreasonable? Regardless, how can we both move forward from this?

I discovered that my girlfriend (19F) was unfaithful.

Today, she was taking a nap, so I took the opportunity to use her phone to watch some YouTube. While I was on it, her friend sent her a text, and I opened it to reply. After that, I noticed she was chatting with someone else and had turned off notifications for that conversation. Curious, I clicked on it and discovered she was sharing intimate photos and videos of us together. I haven't brought it up with her yet. Any advice?

My boyfriend tends to be quite dismissive.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He’s 26, and I’m 25. He’s a pretty laid-back and easygoing guy—doesn’t stress much, is super patient, soft-spoken, and tends to keep to himself. You know the type. Lately, though, I’ve noticed he doesn’t really express his feelings, which I get is common for a lot of guys. However, he can also be quite dismissive overall, and I’m starting to feel uncertain about that. For example, one of his friends is going through a divorce—he’s a bit of a wild card, drinks a lot, and lives a reckless lifestyle. This friend has asked my boyfriend to move in with him at his new condo. My boyfriend was expecting this and is considering it. That honestly worries me; I really don’t want him to move in with someone who’s a bad influence. While I trust my boyfriend’s loyalty, I’m not sure I trust the combination of him and his friend. I brought up my concerns, saying I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to move in. He just replied, "Okay." When I asked if he wanted to know why, he shrugged it off, saying, "I don’t really care; that’s your opinion," and then changed the subject completely. This is just one example of his dismissive attitude that I’ve noticed a few times now. Should I be concerned about this behavior? Am I overreacting for feeling uneasy about it? Or is it wrong of me to have an opinion on whether he should move in with his friend?

I'm an 18-year-old female and I misled my boyfriend, who is 20, about my age when we first started dating. How should I tell him the truth after a few months of not being honest?

I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 20. At the time, I misrepresented my age because I didn't expect us to last beyond a few dates. I even tried to self-sabotage the relationship to escape the situation I had created, but he proved to be incredibly understanding and stuck by me through all the ups and downs. We connected on an app where I had my profile listed as 19—initially, I never intended to meet anyone from there; it was just for fun. When the topic of my age comes up, I’ve gone along with the story instead of clarifying the truth, though I don’t justify my actions. Fast forward almost a year, and I've fallen deeply in love with him, and we're now engaged. Yet, I still struggle to tell him the truth about my actual age. I know there’s never a perfect time to reveal something like this, but I’m at a loss for how to approach the conversation. I feel terrible whenever my age comes up, and the thought of losing him terrifies me. What if he reacts negatively? I recognize that what I did was wrong, but I’m unsure how to rectify the situation. On top of all this, I’m now pregnant with his child. I made sure to wait until I was of legal age to meet him in person, so there was nothing illegal about our relationship—just a moral dilemma I'm grappling with. Any advice would be appreciated.

I'm a 28-year-old woman, and my girlfriend, who is 26, tends to be quite messy. It's beginning to affect me emotionally.

We've been together for two years and have spent most of that time living under the same roof. When we were in our small apartment in Baltimore, I attributed the clutter to our tight space. However, after moving to a slightly larger place in Minneapolis, I’ve come to realize it’s more than just that. For instance, our nightstands reveal a stark contrast—hers is cluttered with soda bottles, food wrappers, and miscellaneous items, while mine remains tidy. In the bathroom, clothes accumulate on the floor; although some are mine, the majority are not. I've been trying to create a more equitable division of chores, but it's been challenging. I often have to remind her to do the dishes, and even then, it's hit-or-miss. Laundry is another battle—if I don’t keep up with the routine, it quickly falls apart. Clean clothes pile up in the dryer until I finally fold them, and when I hand her clothes to put away, they frequently remain unattended. Overall, I feel like I’m handling about 70-75% of the household tasks. I’ve brought this up before, but she only helps out when I specifically ask her to, and even then, it feels like she’s not fully engaged. This situation has me reconsidering our future together. How can I express my stress and frustration to her without coming across as harsh?

What's really happening? I need some clarification.

This is quite lengthy. I'm a 32-year-old female who began talking to a 32-year-old male colleague (he's literally one day older than me). From the start, he took the initiative, openly expressing his crush on me to our coworkers and even using our astrology charts to get my number. It was clear that he knew I liked him too, as we flirted often at work. For 25 days, we communicated every day, all day. One evening, we decided to grab a bite, and ended up in my car. It was there that he expressed he couldn't continue our relationship because his spiritual guides advised against it, although he still wanted to get to know me. At that point, we hadn't even kissed, so I thought that’s all we were doing—getting to know each other. We shared a warm hug and continued texting daily. As time progressed, he asked me out again, and we found ourselves in my car once more. During this meeting, he revisited his spiritual beliefs, emphasizing his desire for emotional connection rather than purely sexual, and he then asked if he could kiss me. After an intense hour-long make-out session that heightened our mutual attraction, we parted ways and everything felt wonderful. I suggested we cuddle and watch a movie together, which excited him. He invited me over to meet his pets but mentioned that there were still concerns about our relationship that we’d need to discuss. When I arrived, he shared that his sister had given him some insight regarding our energies, recommending we tread carefully. He confessed he had not been in touch with his spiritual guides lately because they disallowed our connection, but when I asked if he wanted me to step back, he said no. However, he admitted that if it came down to spirituality or me, he would have to make a choice (which I recognize as a sign of narcissism). We ended up crying, comforting each other, sharing personal stories, and laughing. Despite his concerns, we kissed for hours, but ultimately, we didn't have sex because I had to take a test the next day. I accidentally left my ring at his place, but he sent me sweet messages afterward, and we made plans to see each other again. The following day was fairly regular; we texted throughout the day and shared music. He was heading to a concert with his sister, the same one who had been cautious about our situation, and kept communicating with me during his drive. The next day, he responded to my texts but finally sent a message that hinted at a serious conversation. He stated: “I had some insight about us on my drive to the concert. Some of this will be difficult to hear… I just want to be real.” He followed up with a nine-minute audio message discussing his day and asking about mine, expressing a desire to meet up before or after work to chat more about his insights and mentioned wanting to hear me sing. I couldn't meet up, so I suggested he call me, which he did. I sensed something was about to shift. After some small talk, he got to the point, explaining that he believed we had a trauma bond, despite only having known each other for 25 days. He mentioned feeling a sort of addiction to me, making it difficult to go about his daily life without thinking of me, even at the concert. He acknowledged that this was dysfunctional, expressing regret about how he felt. I responded simply with, “okay.” He offered compliments about my strength and openness, mentioning he still wanted to maintain our work relationship. I told him I was still processing everything and felt uncertain about whether our relationship was more helpful than hurtful. There was a long pause, and after some silence, he said, “I’ll see you at work… have a good night.” Naturally, I was heartbroken. The next day at work, I expected him to bring my ring and engage in our usual small talk, but he was distant and didn’t bring the ring. Fast-forward to now, four days after the breakup, and he's been deliberately avoiding me at work, despite my attempts to be casual. He seems quieter around everyone and even said “good morning” to me with a sad expression yesterday. Still, no mention of my ring, and I know he remembers it, as he’s very organized. I’m trying to understand why he is behaving this way after breaking up with me. He indicated that he wanted to maintain some level of communication at work, yet now he seems intent on avoiding me. It's confusing. **TL;DR:** I’m unsure what’s going through this man’s mind after our breakup, especially since I wasn’t the one who ended things.

I feel overwhelmed with guilt just thinking about leaving. What do you think?

What do you think about my situation? I'm considering breaking up with my partner, who identifies as non-binary and is 23, while I am a 23-year-old woman. We've been close since high school, having known each other for seven years and been in a relationship for three. I cared deeply for them and often imagined our future together during our high school years, but it hurt when they were still interested in their ex. We both have BDP, so our emotional ups and downs were intense, but we always found our way back to each other. In college, I made the decision to distance myself from them, despite my efforts to keep them in my life. After going through a significant change following COVID, I confessed my feelings only to be turned down again, which prompted me to pull away. Eventually, we reconnected as friends, and our dynamic shifted; there was flirtation, and we ended up becoming intimate. When they asked me to be their girlfriend, I agreed, fulfilling a long-held desire. I moved them into my dorm, and for the last two years of college, we essentially lived as a couple, juggling school, jobs, and home life. The beginning was challenging, but I learned to trust the process as they worked through their depression and became more responsible. However, I've noticed that I've taken on a caregiving role in our relationship for the past three years. I still love them, but I've come to realize that I'm no longer interested in being in a romantic relationship. I feel like the "mom" in the partnership, and I've lost touch with my former self—I used to be so lively and happy, but now I don’t feel that way as much. I've stopped hanging out with friends and have neglected my appearance (though I know that's not all their fault). They’ve made some positive changes, like advancing in their job and helping around the house—things many women wish for in a partner. Despite their loyalty and the fact that they’re my best friend, they still struggle with self-care. They've frequently expressed feeling isolated since moving in with me, as well as dissatisfaction with their appearance and lack of a degree (I have my bachelor's). Living in a bustling college town, they could have engaged more with the community, but they tend to stay inside, and even after I encouraged them to return to school, they found it difficult to keep up with the classes. I can understand why, yet if they'd taken more initiative, they could have transferred out in time for my graduation. Their mental health challenges hold them back from prioritizing themselves, and they often voice their frustrations about it. We've discussed these issues over the years, but they seem to become sad without making the progress I hope for. I've taken charge of things like utilities and picking our apartment after I graduated. I recognize that at some point, I need to let them take more control, but I struggle to trust them. I know they're smart and capable, but my history of managing our responsibilities has led me to naturally take over tasks like handling bills and debts. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the need to remind them of things; it shouldn’t always fall on me to nudge them into action. It’s frustrating that it often takes my emotional breakdown for them to step up and help around the house. They genuinely try, which makes me feel guilty about my feelings. I do love them, but it’s not in the same way anymore. I once believed I could fix our relationship, but now I’m uncertain.

I (19M) am ending my relationship with my girlfriend (18F), but she refuses to accept it. What should I do next?

I've been considering breaking up with her for the past few weeks, and yesterday, I finally opened up about how I feel. For context, we've been together for nearly five years, but I'm ending things because I need to focus on myself and can't fully commit to the relationship, especially since I've moved to a different city for college. Part of me also wants to explore being with other people. She keeps insisting that we can work things out and that she wants to support me, but she doesn’t seem to grasp that I truly need to be on my own and can’t continue in this relationship. I'm coming home for the weekend and I plan to have a face-to-face conversation with her, but I'm worried she won't let me go. What should I do?

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