Relationship advices

How to Request Simple Photos (Non-Nude)

I'm an 18-year-old male in a long-distance relationship with my 19-year-old girlfriend, and we've been together for about five months. I believe it's important to share pictures regularly—not necessarily anything explicit, just everyday photos to keep each other connected and updated. However, I've noticed that she rarely sends me pictures compared to how often I send them. I really enjoy seeing her, so I'm wondering: what’s the best way to ask her politely for more photos?

My boyfriend won't be able to deceive me if he wants to be with me.

We've only been together for about 6-7 months (F20, M20). Recently, we moved in together because I had to relocate for work, and I needed a roommate to help with rent. Just before our move, I found out I was pregnant, which was a huge surprise since I already have a daughter. About a week ago, I noticed he was becoming easily irritated by small things and distancing himself. He’s been stressed out from work, which doesn’t help. When I asked him what was going on, he said he wasn’t sure if he wants to be with me and wanted to be honest instead of misleading me. He suggested taking a break—not to move out or date other people—but just to have some space. He mentioned that our recent arguments might be a factor, as I’ve been a bit snappy at times, but it's tough when I'm stressed too. Now I’m at a crossroads: Should I protect myself from further hurt and break up with him completely, or should I try to give him the space he needs? It’s a bit challenging to do that while still living together, but I’m willing to try. If I do give him space, should that mean no communication, or any physical affection? I’ve also scheduled an abortion because I don’t have the strength to bring a child into a broken family, and I believe it’s the best decision given the circumstances. Has anyone gone through something similar or have any advice?

Should I, a 20-year-old male, break up with my girlfriend, who is 21 and with whom I've been together for two years?

I'm a 19-year-old male, and I've been considering ending my two-year relationship with my 20-year-old girlfriend. Here are my reasons: 1) To be honest, I can't envision a future marriage with her. She annoys me at times, which hurts to admit, but it's the truth. 2) One of the main reasons I'm still with her is that she provides support with my college work. While I could manage on my own, her help makes balancing school and my workload easier. 3) Her parents dislike me. I got into trouble during high school, and I’ve barely spoken to her dad and only exchanged a few words with her mom over the past two years. Her dad is quite withdrawn, and I rarely visit their home. 4) Her friends seem to have issues with me as well. I don’t understand why, but they spread rumors about me and act friendly only when she’s around. 5) I've had concerns about her loyalty. While I wonder if I'm just being insecure, I’ve found texts from her about missing other guys just six months into our relationship. She also maintains contact with several of her exes and spends about 16 hours a week on extracurricular activities, which sometimes involve questionable late-night disappearances. Additionally, her friends aren’t exactly a positive influence on her. On the flip side, here are some reasons I hesitate to break up: 1) We’re often seen as a power couple among our friends. 2) Her help with my schoolwork significantly reduces my stress and saves me a lot of time. 3) She is my only girlfriend, while she has had more than a dozen exes. 4) I talk to her frequently; although I don’t rely on her emotionally, losing her would impact my social life. 5) She has been a positive force in my life, helping me get sober and distancing me from bad influences. So, what should I do? **In Summary** I’m thinking of breaking up with my girlfriend of two years because I don’t see a future with her, her friends and family dislike me, and I suspect she may have been unfaithful. However, I also want to stay with her because she’s my main social connection, my only girlfriend, she’s helped me get sober, and she alleviates a lot of my stress. What should I do?

I withheld something from my partner.

I kept something from my partner. I'm a 22-year-old woman, and I've been with my partner, who is 21, for over three years. Recently, I decided to come clean because she was starting to become suspicious. She generally feels uncomfortable around drugs and alcohol, and a few months ago, I tried a couple of zyns over the course of a couple of months since a friend was doing it. It wasn't a frequent occurrence, and I stopped after that. I hesitated to tell her because I didn’t want to upset her, especially since I’m not addicted or anything. She has previously expressed that she just wants me to be honest with her, even if it makes her uneasy at the moment. In hindsight, I realize that if I had just admitted it right away, it might not have been as big of a deal. I found myself caught in a dilemma about whether it was better to be honest or protect myself, and I now see that lying was the wrong choice. I know this situation isn’t just about me, but I am truly heartbroken. She means the world to me, and I can’t understand why I made such a poor decision. Now, I’m dealing with the fallout after six months of keeping this secret. I acknowledge that what I did was wrong, and she has every right to feel hurt or betrayed. I just don’t know how to move forward. It’s frustrating because if I had just owned up to it sooner, I would have avoided complicating things. My instincts to protect myself over my relationship led me here. Now she’s having a hard time trusting me, and I can’t shake the feeling of disgust toward myself. I pride myself on being honest in our relationship, so this lapse in judgment is particularly troubling. She doubts that this is the only thing I’ve kept from her, which is understandable. I’m at a loss for how to support her through this. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What can I do? Thank you for any advice. TL;DR - I lied to my partner about something relatively insignificant over an extended period to save face, and now I’m grappling with the consequences.

My boyfriend has carried over some toxic traits from previous relationships, and it's taken a toll on us.

I've been feeling really confused and have needed advice for quite some time. My partner, a 23-year-old man, and I, a 20-year-old woman, are in a complicated situation. His ex was incredibly toxic—she screamed at him every day, was physically abusive, and cheated on him throughout their 4.5-year relationship. I understand that this trauma has affected how he behaves now. The first issue is that early on in our relationship, whenever we went out, he would get upset and start yelling over minor things. I wasn't blameless either; I often worried he was checking out other women right in front of me. When I’d ask for reassurance, he would become defensive, interpreting my questions as accusations. I’m well aware that accusing someone isn’t a healthy way to communicate, as I’ve learned from therapy. Our arguments would last for hours, sometimes until 4 a.m. Thankfully, things have improved somewhat, but I still feel uncomfortable going out with him because of his past reactions and my own fears rooted in past experiences. I trust him, but I deal with my insecurities privately and only seek reassurance occasionally. The second issue is my struggle with panic attacks and anxiety. I often find myself in a state of panic for several hours daily. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to grasp this, or perhaps he lacks empathy. Recently, when I had a panic attack, instead of supporting me, he scolded me for not helping myself and insisted I take my prescribed medication—with an angry tone to boot. This has happened multiple times, leaving me feeling more like I need to explain myself rather than receiving the support that I need. While I manage my daily anxiety on my own, I just require extra support during panic episodes. The third issue arises when I try to discuss things that upset me; he often retreats into silence, looking sad and just repeating “I’m sorry.” I know this may be his way of coping, but it makes me feel guilty for expressing my feelings, and I often end up dropping the subject. It’s okay for him to feel bad, but it makes me anxious about bringing up my feelings in the first place. As for the medication I mentioned earlier—Zoloft—I’m scared to take it. I realize it might be beneficial, but with my panic disorder, the thought is daunting. His insistence that I take it during my episodes makes me feel misunderstood. I worry that if I experience side effects from the medication, I won’t have his support since he might panic, too, which doesn’t help when I need someone to ground me. Another issue is his behavior when he drinks. He tends to lash out, blaming me for things like my relationship with my mom. He never communicates these feelings calmly; instead, it all comes out in a drunken rage. I’ve worked hard to create an open, safe space for him to express himself, and I don’t retaliate, yet he still seems unable to speak up unless he’s intoxicated. The next day, he often regrets what he said, which leaves me bewildered. I’m feeling pretty exhausted. I can see he’s working on himself and has a sensitive, beautiful soul. He’s genuinely a good person, and with therapy and the right coping strategies, I believe he could be someone I want to spend my life with. I can tell he’s remorseful for his past mistakes and is making an effort. But I’m just tired of dealing with all of this. The mere thought of having a conversation about my feelings drains me. It’s like I need a nap before we even start talking. I worry that if I move on, I might never find someone as passionate and wonderful as he is. Still, I want to enjoy life; I’m 20, and I should be out having fun, not trapped in my room feeling anxious. While he's a great person, our relationship isn't where I want it to be. I don’t want to overlook its potential, but relationships require effort, and I feel like I have nothing left to give right now.

M24 continues to deceive me, F20.

I'm feeling really lost right now, so let me provide some context. My boyfriend and I started dating in July 2023 after meeting on Tinder. Our first date went wonderfully, and by our second date, he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes, not realizing I was rushing into things without fully getting to know him. Two months into our relationship, I moved in with him, and we needed to find a new roommate. He announced on Snapchat that we were looking for someone, and a girl responded, claiming to be a “mutual friend from high school.” I took him at his word, and we started discussing her move-in date. However, I started to get an uneasy feeling about the whole situation. One day, he left his Apple Watch behind, and I heard it go off. Out of curiosity, I checked his messages and found her being overly friendly. She even mentioned swinging by his family’s house to grab some things, which confused me because he had told me they didn’t know each other well (can you see where this is heading?). When I confronted him about it, he gave me a weak excuse, and unfortunately, I believed him. As time passed, I had this nagging feeling that something was off, so I looked through his phone and found a message from him asking her why she had texted him on Instagram, to which she replied she was bored. I searched for their communication on Instagram and initially found nothing, but then discovered he had a secret account where he was messaging his ex. I was furious to find out he had been trying to get his ex to move in with us. We argued intensely, and I told him he needed to block her or I would leave. He reluctantly complied but then played this ridiculous game of unblocking her at work and blocking her again when he got home. This has been dragging on for months, and I’m feeling exhausted and unhappy. He's planning to change his number in January, but I’m not sure if I can ever fully trust him again. Today, she called him eight times, and they talked for around three hours. I’m beginning to doubt whether we can work it out, but I don’t know how to express that to him. He keeps saying I can leave if I want to, but it doesn’t feel that simple. My family might let me move back home, but I feel guilty about being a burden since money is tight for them and I wouldn’t even have a room. I want things to work out, but sometimes it feels like I’m talking to a child; he just doesn’t seem to grasp how I feel. If anyone has advice or could offer some validation, I’m really desperate for answers. It feels crazy to think he isn't considering how all of this affects me.

My girlfriend (18F) tends to overthink a lot, and it's starting to make me feel like she might not be that interested in me. Am I jumping to conclusions, or should I be more understanding?

My partner (19M, 18F) and I have been together for seven months, and we truly love each other. We've had many discussions about the seriousness of our relationship, and while we've had a few disagreements, we've always resolved them quickly because we're both good communicators. Lately, though, she occasionally has doubts about our relationship, questioning whether this is the right path for her or if she should explore other options. It’s important to note that she has never asked for a breakup or a break and has told me that her feelings of uncertainty stem from overthinking, something she’s actively working on. She's very open about her feelings and has expressed her belief that we are meant to be together, even discussing the possibility of marriage in the future. Yet, her moments of doubt make me question her commitment and leave me feeling underappreciated. On the positive side, I have no doubt about her love for me. She has always treated our relationship with respect and affection, making me feel valued. However, when she shares her insecurities with me, it hurts and causes me to feel inadequate. I'm seeking advice on whether I should continue to hold on to this relationship or consider moving on. I genuinely want to make it work, but I’m open to taking the necessary steps if needed. I would appreciate any advice or perspectives on this situation. Thank you!

What strategies can I use to stop comparing myself to his ex?

I'm a 20-year-old woman struggling with self-confidence, and this weekend, I'm going to a small gathering for my boyfriend, Dan (21), and our friend, Mat, who is hosting a housewarming and Christmas party. Mat recently got engaged to his girlfriend, Sam, who he’s been with for nearly two years. Interestingly, Dan was in a situationship with Sam’s friend about a year ago. I often find it hard to feel good about my body and self-image. Although I’m fairly skinny at 5'6" and 130 lbs, I can’t shake the feeling that I have some “pudge” around my tummy because it isn’t toned. I also have what seems like a small butt, frequent acne, and not many friends. This weekend's party will have fewer than 17 guests, and Sam’s friend will be there too. Dan was uncertain about attending because of this history, but ultimately, he decided that supporting his friend was more important—especially since we’ll all be attending their wedding in less than a year. I'm feeling conflicted about how to handle this situation. I don’t want my insecurities to overshadow the event, but I worry that I won't be able to stop myself from comparing myself to her. If I choose not to go, I fear my imagination might run wild, and that could be even worse. I hate feeling so self-conscious, particularly about his past relationships. Dan has been with several people before, while I haven't dated since I was 15, and he's the only one I've ever been intimate with. He treats me incredibly well and is genuinely the best, but my anxiety and low self-esteem make me fixate on my perceived flaws. I often wonder if his exes were better in bed or more attractive. I'm at a loss about how to overcome these feelings. I’m tired of being hard on myself, yet I feel stuck in this mindset.

My new boyfriend mentioned he wants to reconnect with his ex.

I could really use some advice. My boyfriend (M, 28) and I have been dating for three months now. He was in a year-long relationship about ten months ago, and his girlfriend ended things, explaining that their futures didn’t align due to career goals. I find that puzzling because he’s very dedicated to his work—maybe there were other underlying issues. Since we started dating, he mentioned that she reached out to him, looking to reconnect. She’s aware that he’s in a new relationship. He declined her request to meet up, attributing it to us, but I can’t shake the feeling that he might have wanted to see her. He even confessed to me last night while drunk that he had considered it. This has made me feel insecure, especially since our relationship is still new, and I’ve experienced cheating in the past (F, 28). His past relationship left him deeply hurt and struggling with depression for a while. I find it a bit surprising that she wants to meet up now, considering what he went through and the fact that he’s seeing someone new. It feels like a bit of a convenient excuse to me. He insists that they remained friends because she has a lot of trauma and that he was there for her and her family during their relationship, and they still check in occasionally.

Should I prioritize my own well-being or place more trust in her?

Hello! I'm a 21-year-old woman currently in a relationship with a 22-year-old woman. We've been together for 11 months, and I can honestly say that our relationship is healthy. She is incredibly kind to everyone in her life and always offers me reassurance when I have fears or concerns. She consistently demonstrates her commitment to us and has many exciting plans for our future adventures. Recently, she passed her board exam, while I'm in my last semester and will soon be preparing for my own exam. I find myself feeling anxious about what lies ahead in our journey together, so much so that I've even thought about breaking up with her (even though I love her dearly). I'm worried that if we were to break up, I might lose myself during my review period, and that it would affect my academic performance. How can I cope with the changes in our relationship? I'm seeking advice or stories from anyone who might relate to my situation. How can I manage my overthinking? Could my constant need for reassurance and worrying lead to an actual breakup?

Regarding relationships

This Saturday is my girlfriend's friend's (who is a guy) birthday party, and she wants to go. However, I’m not entirely comfortable with her attending. I care about her and tend to overthink things, so I don’t want to come across as overly possessive. We've been together for six months, and we both love each other deeply, but I can't shake this uneasy feeling. Should I let her go? I’d appreciate any thoughts on this!

Could you please tell me what's wrong with me?

The title poses a rhetorical question, and honestly, I feel like the biggest idiot sandwich ever. I’m a 21-year-old woman dating a wonderful 22-year-old man who has been the best thing in my life lately. Despite this, my life has a pretty dark past. My last three boyfriends cheated on me consecutively, and I stayed with them each time, only to be hurt again. One of my exes even cheated on my birthday, using the money I gave him for our electric bill to go to a strip club. My most recent breakup was about six months ago. Things went downhill when I refused to move in with him because I believed I shouldn’t have to relocate for someone to be loyal. We argued over minor issues that, in hindsight, were completely irrelevant. Ironically, we broke up on the very day I was supposed to move in with him. Nevertheless, we parted on good terms, promising to stay friends. We’ve known each other since elementary school and share a group of friends. Since then, I haven't truly healed. I thought I was doing okay, managing to push thoughts of my ex out of my mind by reminding myself of who he really was and how he made me feel—repeatedly. When I first met my current boyfriend, I was not looking for a new romance. I signed up for Tinder just out of boredom. We matched, he messaged me, and though I almost didn’t reply, his opening line was too amusing to ignore. I shared my Snapchat with him, and after a few days of chatting, I forgot about him. My demanding job as a handyman occasionally involves working 24-hour shifts with no sleep and tight deadlines. One night, I saw he had sent me multiple snaps, so I suggested we switch to texting. After that, we met up about a week later and instantly clicked. Fast forward to two months ago, I discovered I was pregnant. After much heartbreak, my boyfriend and I made the incredibly tough decision not to continue with the pregnancy. Since then, I haven’t been myself. He’s been there for me through every appointment, holding my hand while I faced the worst moments and caring for me when I was overwhelmed. I’d like to mention my ex again. Even after everything, I maintained a friendship with him because we have mutual friends and can’t avoid seeing each other. Recently, after he celebrated his birthday, I asked my boyfriend if it was okay for me to attend a party hosted by my ex. He surprisingly said yes, so I went. I brought some vodka, although I don’t typically drink much. The party was small, and I felt pretty comfortable, greeting my ex's mom with a hug. My ex hugged me, too, but it didn’t feel significant. We started chatting, and his mom encouraged me to take a shot with her. I have a limit of three drinks because I’m a lightweight. I had one shot but felt fine until another friend’s dad offered me a shot—he poured it directly into my mouth without a glass, and it was definitely a double. Soon after, my ex noticed I was struggling to stand and pulled me into another room for a chat. I kept the door open, trying to be cautious. He expressed gratitude for my presence and mentioned that it meant a lot to him. I asked about his new girlfriend, who he said couldn't attend. Out of nowhere, he offered me water, but I shrugged it off and asked for another shot instead. As I went to grab my drink, he pulled me back and kissed me. I was too shocked to respond. To clarify, I don’t drive at all—I'm not responsible enough for it. I was waiting for a family member to pick me up after their shift. In a panic, I broke away from him and ran to the bathroom to collect my thoughts, only to find him waiting with another shot outside afterward. In my anxiety, I took it, attempting to escape by stepping out for a cigarette, even though I don’t usually smoke. It calmed my nerves but left me feeling guilty for putting myself in that situation. When I went back inside, I found my ex again, and a moment of comfort led to me crying uncontrollably as he consoled me, wiping my tears away and encouraging me to breathe. Even though I hadn't mentioned my recent abortion to him, I couldn’t hold back my tears as memories flooded back. Despite the pain he caused me in the past, I felt a sense of security in his arms that I don’t experience with my current boyfriend. I found solace in a moment of weakness and gave in to a kiss from my ex. Instantly regretting it, I jumped up, dressed, and fled outside without shoes or a jacket. It was freezing, and I sat in a bush, sobbing until I felt ready to return. When I finally went back inside, I took another shot, feeling a strong urge to escape from my situation. My current boyfriend treats me incredibly well, but I struggle with self-worth, convinced I don't deserve him. It’s been four days since that night, and I haven’t talked much with him, but he knows something’s off. I plan to tell him face-to-face about what happened, but I’m terrified. Having endured betrayals myself, I never imagined inflicting such pain on someone else. I understand how selfish it is not to give someone the choice to forgive. Withholding this truth for three days weighs heavily on me, and I fear the hurt it will cause him. I aim to deliver my confession in person, but I'm unsure how to articulate it. I’ve realized I’ve become someone I despised—a cheater. I’m writing this to urge anyone reading not to make the same mistakes I did. Once betrayal occurs, it’s best to walk away immediately. I feel a heavy burden to bear, and if my boyfriend chooses to leave me, that’s something I'll have to accept. I intend to work on myself and grow from this experience. I truly hope I still have the chance for redemption.

Should I support my girlfriend in selling socks for extra money?

My girlfriend (22) and I (23) have been together for almost three years. During this time, she has shared personal stories about how she used to sell her socks and make a good amount of money from it. She's mentioned several times that she's struggling financially, even though she has a full-time job that pays poorly and requires her to commute over 100 miles daily. She’s sticking with this job because it’s currently the only one within a 50-mile radius that will provide her with valuable experience for her career. She understands my discomfort about the sock selling, but to her, it’s not sexual; it’s just a straightforward transaction — wear them, send them off, get paid, and move on. While the idea of what others might do with them is a bit off-putting to me, I can see that it has the potential to generate considerable income and that her previous experience in this area could give her a head start. I’m feeling conflicted and could use some advice. On one hand, there's the allure of good money, but on the other hand, it feels strange. Since she can separate her feelings about it so easily, I’m left wondering if I can do the same. **TL;DR**: My girlfriend wants to start selling socks online again to earn extra money. She views it as a practical solution to her financial struggles, while I feel uneasy about it. I'm uncertain whether I should support her decision.

Not really looking for advice, just expressing some frustration.

I'm a 33-year-old Latina woman, never married and without children. I've built a fulfilling career and take good care of myself. I've traveled extensively, have a vibrant social life, and a lot of friends! I’m a natural nurturer — I enjoy cooking and keeping my home tidy... and yet, I feel profoundly lonely. It's been eight years since I was last in a relationship. I've tried dating and had some situationships, but nothing ever seems to last. I've faced infidelity, been misled, and heard that I'm either too much or not enough—it's exhausting. What I truly long for is someone who wants to be with me, to enjoy a movie together sometimes, to be my best friend, to share dinners, to hold hands, and share tender moments. Casual encounters feel so empty and monotonous. I know I'm not unattractive, both in appearance and personality—it’s easy to get along with me. My friends are just as confused as I am about my dating life. Earlier this year, I decided to embrace being single, convincing myself I could do it forever and that I was content—only to find myself drawn to someone who reignited my hope of finding "the one." Then it was all dashed when I was told I’m “too much.” I’m just... so tired of all this. I’ve tried stepping outside my comfort zone to date different types of guys, but still, nothing seems to stick. I'm genuinely scared that I might never find someone special, that I may never have a chance to have my own children, or to have my person to share my life with. It's incredibly disheartening. I'm weary of juggling multiple connections without any real fulfillment. I wish there was someone who could offer me some comfort, yet I feel vulnerable sharing this with friends. It’s like I’m being overlooked, as if God isn’t listening to me at all. I truly feel isolated and unwanted.

Should I stay or leave?...

I'm a 32-year-old man in a 4.5-year relationship with a 28-year-old woman. When we first began dating, I didn't experience the “butterflies” that I had felt in previous relationships. Despite this, I chose to move forward because we share similar values, political views, interests, a mutual physical attraction, and have great chemistry in bed. On the surface, it seems promising, right? Now we're at a pivotal point—it's either time to get married and start a family or break up and begin anew. She is deeply in love with me and experienced those butterflies from the very beginning. In many ways, she is the ideal partner—loving, nurturing, would be an excellent mother, and is financially stable. We have much in common, including a passion for psychology, visiting museums, and enjoying nature. Both of us desire families and children. However, I find myself grappling with doubts about whether she is truly the right match for me. I've grown fond of her and cherish the time we spend together when work isn't wearing me out. I feel stuck at a crossroads. I never envisioned being my age and contemplating starting over. The thought of becoming an older dad is daunting if I choose to begin again now. While I love and care for her deeply, and she would undoubtedly make a wonderful mother, I can't shake the concern about the absence of those initial butterflies. I'm anxious that this lack of excitement might lead to problems in the future.

Is it time for me to end my relationship with my boyfriend?

I'm a 21-year-old woman, and I've been dating my boyfriend, also 21, for nearly a year. Until recently, we hadn't said "I love you" to each other. I started getting a sense that something was off. Early in our relationship, he shared that he had a toxic on-and-off relationship with another girl, which lasted three months on, six months off, then back on for another three. He claimed he loved her but ended it, and she never forgave him. He’s been in one other serious relationship that I know of, where he really liked the girl, but she broke things off because he wasn’t expressing his feelings enough. The other night, I told him I loved him, but he didn’t say it back. Deep down, I expected that response, even though I hoped he would say it back. He opened up more about his past relationships and mentioned he hasn't said "I love you" yet because he wants to be sure. Now that I see all of this written down, I can’t help but feel a little pathetic. He's my first boyfriend, so I don't have anything else to compare this experience to. I'm feeling lost because I love him and want to make things work, but I’m not sure what to do. I've been loyal and supportive, but I'm starting to wonder how much more I can do. Aside from this, our relationship is actually pretty great. We have fun together, can be ourselves, and enjoy our time together. I just can't shake the feeling that he might be hiding something from me. I’m torn because I know he struggles emotionally, and I feel like I’m just hanging on. Is it worth having another conversation about this? He still follows that second girl on almost all platforms. I feel so confused and a bit foolish about everything.

I (28, male) would like to reconcile with my girlfriend (25, female).

I ended my relationship with her two years ago, but I still have feelings for her. There's no one else that I feel any connection with. While I live in Surat and she’s in Mumbai, we do manage to stay in touch. Our conversations are infrequent but pleasant, and she never turns down an invitation to meet up. I genuinely believe there’s a chance for us to be together again. Perhaps she’s also waiting for that opportunity, but I haven’t spoken to her with any expectations. However, I’m determined to make one final effort to rekindle what we once had. Over the next six months, I plan to give it my all. I want to spend time with her, go out, and watch movies together as much as possible. I’m considering moving to Mumbai for this time. When I feel the moment is right, I’ll ask her directly for clarity. I’m prepared to accept whatever response I receive. So, I’m wondering if this is the right approach or if I should let go. I would appreciate your guidance.

Reposting: I found my husband's Craigslist listing.

I, a 35-year-old woman, recently went through my husband's phone. We've been together for eight years and married for four. Initially, we were long distance, and I always believed we had a strong relationship. I viewed him as my soulmate, and he has consistently treated me like royalty. A couple of weeks ago, while playing around with his old phone, my curiosity got the better of me, and I started looking at his emails. I discovered numerous messages from adult sites, which prompted me to check his sent emails. To my shock, I found messages from the first year we were together where he had posted a Craigslist ad seeking a friends-with-benefits arrangement, complete with a nude photo. This was during the time we had officially been together for six months, and he continued to respond to messages for about three months. Although it seems like nothing substantial came of it—he eventually stopped replying—I can’t shake the feeling of betrayal. When I asked him if he had pursued other women during our long-distance phase, he insisted he hadn’t. He used to drink heavily, which might explain why he doesn’t recall everything, but it still hurts. He’s my best friend, and I’m heartbroken. This happened eight years ago, and I haven’t uncovered anything else to cause suspicion. Should I let it go or confront him? If I do bring it up, how should I approach the conversation? I can’t stop crying. Additionally, just to add context, we were long-distance for the first five years of our relationship, and we have always been open about checking each other's phones before. I've discovered he has an email account where he messaged women in 2019, asking them to send nudes and other explicit content. He also had multiple Tinder accounts, with one being very recent. When I confronted him, he claimed that he was drinking heavily at the time and that many of his actions are a blur to him, but that still doesn’t justify his choices. I thought we were doing well together, even through tough times. He assures me his actions weren’t about me and that they were just poor decisions, but it feels like a pattern over the years. A week has passed since I asked to see the Tinder accounts, and with everything going on, I haven’t pushed for them yet. Furthermore, I’ve noticed he has been quite flirtatious with female friends, which bothers me. I can’t stop dwelling on everything, and it has shifted how I view him. I find myself comparing myself to other women and feeling inadequate, like I’m just an option. I’m at a loss for how to move past this, and I’m deeply hurt.

Setting Healthy and Appropriate Boundaries for Individuals with Anxious Attachment: 21F & 21M

I'm a 21-year-old female currently in a new relationship. We started seeing each other in September and officially became a couple in November. My previous long-term relationship was unhealthy and led me to develop an anxious attachment style. After that, I spent a year single focusing on rebuilding my independence and healing from a lot of trauma. However, as I navigate this new relationship, I notice some anxious tendencies resurfacing—overthinking, questioning every detail, and overanalyzing conversations. I recognize that this isn't healthy, and I believe that getting an outsider's perspective or reassurance might help me view things more clearly, rather than allowing my thoughts and emotions to spiral. Many examples of relationships in my life have been quite negative, the most significant being my parents' tumultuous relationship, marked by my father's abusive behavior. This background has definitely distorted my perception of what a healthy relationship looks like. I often find myself wondering how frequently couples should see each other. Right now, we meet 1-2 times a week and text at least once a day, even if it's just a brief message. Is inconsistent communication really a major red flag if the other person is genuinely busy? Sometimes my partner's responses can take hours, while on other days he's quick to reply. With both of us being university students during finals season, studying often takes priority. We rarely talk on the phone; we text daily, but phone calls are extremely rare. I previously came from a relationship where my partner wanted to be in constant contact, spending every day together and engaging in long conversations. This has affected how I perceive my current relationship dynamics. For anyone else who has experienced anxious attachment in past relationships, how did you cope in your new relationships? What strategies or approaches worked for you?

Does this qualify as cheating?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year while still in high school, and he’s involved in a lot of extracurricular activities, like sports. However, he recently became very busy and has had less time for me. He keeps apologizing but hasn’t made any changes to address the situation. One day, I noticed he was talking to someone he called a friend. I asked him about it, and he assured me it was nothing. I chose to trust him. As the months went by, the issue of him not having time for me persisted. Then I heard from someone that he attended an event I wasn’t aware of, where they played a game that involved confessing crushes. Apparently, he and this friend both admitted to having feelings for each other, all while we were still together. What should I do?

My boyfriend (22M) keeps falling asleep whenever I'm with him.

I realize I might come across as insensitive for saying this, but here it goes. He’s on night shifts, which I totally get as I work late too, often until around midnight or 1 AM. I chose this schedule because my store is closed at night, and I thought it would align better with his sleep pattern. We agreed that it would help him stay awake, or at least be less overtired when he comes over to my place. Currently, we don’t have our own place, so I’m living with my parents. I can’t stay at his place anymore because I have an elderly cat who is very attached to me and refuses to eat unless I’m around. Whenever he visits, it feels like 80% of the time he’s either asleep or too worn out to engage with me. I struggle to empathize with this because I handle tiredness very well. I can easily pull an all-nighter and go to work and still seem fine, which I’ve done several times. I may feel a bit off, but I tend to act and perform just as usual. It’s frustrating because it feels like we hardly have any quality time together. I’ve brought this up with him several times, but the situation hasn’t improved. I know he can’t control falling asleep, so I try not to make a big deal out of it. What puzzles me is how he manages to stay awake at his home before and after work, yet appears unable to do so when he's at mine. At his place, he interacts normally with his family and is an engaging person, but when he’s with me, he seems less present, even when he’s awake. I've been hoping this would change for months. We had originally agreed he would stay awake when he came over, then sleep later after I went to bed, and keep that routine until his next work shift. However, he now just sleeps whenever he feels like it, while I’m usually wide awake. He’ll sleep at night when I sleep, nap in the morning when I’m up, and then again in the evening when I’m free. I don’t know how to help him; he apologizes for it, and I feel for him because it’s clear he’s exhausted, but it's really starting to wear on me.

My girlfriend (24) and I (28) are planning to move in together in the next few months. What logistical considerations should we keep in mind?

As a straight man, I’ve only lived with one girlfriend in the past, and our move-in experience was lacking in communication. We made the decision to live together due to leaving university, and it ultimately led to a lot of resentment. Now, with my current girlfriend, we’ve been together for 1.5 years and have chosen to live separately the whole time—she’s in a house share, and I’m living with a friend. Our relationship is very healthy, with open and honest communication. I want to make sure that I consider any differences that might arise from changing our current living situations, as I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes as before. My goal is to reach a point where our journey together culminates in a ring and a shared future.

Assistance needed?

I've been with my current partner (28M) for nearly four years, and I recently found out that he has been cheating on me since the beginning. He hasn’t been physical with anyone, but he’s used apps like Badoo and Badoo. The latest incident occurred in December 2023, and he insists he hasn’t done anything since then. He just joined the Air Force, and we're currently in a long-distance relationship. He keeps telling me that he’s a changed man. We share an email account, and I stumbled upon Google My Activity, which tracks the websites and apps he has accessed. To my shock, less than 24 hours after he got his phone, he was already on Tinder, Badoo, and other dating apps. I confronted him with screenshots, but he claims he connected to faulty Wi-Fi on base and that it must be a virus, insisting that he didn’t visit those sites. However, all other activity clearly shows it was him. I know he’s lying. I’m trying to figure out how to bring this up again when I see him in two weeks. Please don’t judge; we’ve all been in difficult relationships that are tough to leave. Thanks for any advice.

I, a 20-year-old male, discovered that my girlfriend, who is 23, has been intimate with over 100 people and may be cheating on me.

Hi there, We've been in a relationship for six months, and recently she mentioned that she's not fully satisfied in our intimate life. She suggested that I should try using a sleeve, which was really upsetting to hear. I've always considered myself to be of average size, so I was surprised to learn that I hadn't met her needs. To make things more complicated, I found out that she's been with over 100 people in the past, and while she insists she’s never cheated on me, I discovered some texts that are making me question everything. What should I do?

Transforming a Toxic Relationship into a Healthy One

I (17M) spent five years in a toxic relationship that ended with betrayal and abandonment. After taking some time to heal, I’ve been in a healthy relationship for three months. However, there are days when I find myself longing for the toxicity, almost as if I’m addicted to it. I was so accustomed to enduring verbal and physical abuse, along with gaslighting, that I sometimes crave that dynamic, even though I don’t want to return to it. I’m concerned that these feelings might jeopardize my current relationship, especially since I often felt like a punching bag in my past one. Is it possible for a healthy relationship to become unhealthy for someone like me? How can I overcome these cravings?

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