Relationship advices

I, a 26-year-old woman, have feelings for my friend, a 25-year-old man.

I'm trying to figure out whether to maintain my friendship with a guy friend. I feel that our friendship has greater potential for development than a romantic relationship would. I worry that dating could compromise the deep bond we have, and the thought of losing him entirely would be incredibly painful for me. He’s making real progress in his personal growth, but he's grappling with some challenges that I’ve encountered in past relationships. For instance, he struggles to express his feelings verbally and tends to communicate through actions alone. For me, being with someone who articulates their thoughts and feelings is crucial since that's my natural way of connecting. For example, we met up yesterday, and when we hung out, he held my hand while driving. I asked him what holding hands meant to him, and he shared that it signifies he likes someone. Given that we’ve only known each other for four months, I understand how nerve-wracking it can be to express that feeling, which is why I haven't yet revealed my own feelings for him. I recently learned that his parents never verbally expressed their love for him, and he is just beginning to experience that with them. It's heartwarming to witness his growth in forming genuine friendships—with me and our mutual friends—and to see him start expressing loving words to his parents. I’ve received mixed advice from friends: some suggest letting things unfold naturally, while others advise staying just friends. What I do know is that this connection feels healthier than any similar situation I've had before. There aren’t any major red flags, just a few minor concerns, and he has already shown a willingness to grow after our discussions about better expressing himself. I also try not to let astrology overly influence my feelings, but the fact that he is a Virgo does affect my perspective. I haven’t had the best experiences with Virgos in the past, and some of his struggles echo issues I've faced before. Additionally, I had a dream about a dark figure with a right eye, sitting in a room full of people we both know. Everyone around him seemed comfortable, but he was staring directly at me, which left me feeling frightened. I didn't delve too deeply into it, but I came across a Bible verse that resonated strongly with that dream. Matthew 5:29 states, "If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away. For it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." If anyone would like more details, I’m open to sharing further. What would you do in my situation?

Calling all men! We’d love to hear your opinions.

I’ve noticed that many men have girlfriends or wives but also use dating apps on their phones. Why is that? If you’re not satisfied in your relationship, why not just end it and pursue what makes you happy? Why deceive someone else? As a 26-year-old woman, I’m really curious about this.

I'm starting to feel some strong negative feelings towards my boyfriend.

I'm honestly unsure if I still love my boyfriend. I've shared my struggles here before, but things have become even more overwhelming since then. It's hard to admit, but he often exhibits controlling behavior, despite claiming he never wants to. I spend almost every waking hour with him—I'm only not on the phone with him when I’m at work, with my mom, or if my phone dies at night. I care for him deeply, but I feel like I have no personal space or privacy. I've tried discussing this with him, but he reacts dramatically, often shutting down completely for the day—no calls, no texts, just our messages left on read. We're nearing adulthood; I wish he could communicate better. He’s mentioned before that I don’t put in enough effort and that my memory is poor, which stings because I've made a genuine effort to improve by writing things down and reassuring him about little things. When I don't receive any acknowledgment of my efforts, it hurts. I find myself canceling plans with friends just because he prefers spending time together, but we often end up lounging around instead of going out. I crave adventure and social interaction, while he imagines a future where it’s just the two of us in a house—something I can't envision for myself. It's stressful when I try to talk about my aspirations, and he gets upset, as if I'm planning my future without him. I've made sacrifices to spend more time with him, but we hardly do anything meaningful together. The other day, he vented about our problems to my mother—my mother! It's strange since I don't even have a close relationship with his parents. Why does he feel so attached to mine? It's just a lot to handle right now.

Ending my relationship with my boyfriend over pickleball.

I’m a 24-year-old woman who met my boyfriend, a 32-year-old man, on Bumble, and we've been dating for four months. In my Bumble profile, I mentioned that I play pickleball every Saturday, which has been a cherished hobby of mine long before I met him. It’s an important aspect of my life, and I was honest about it from the start. Recently, however, he hasn't been supportive of my pickleball games because they take away time we could spend together. He has even suggested that I quit so we can hang out more. I proposed that we play together, but he isn’t interested. I feel like quitting would mean giving up a significant part of who I am, and I'm concerned that this could set a precedent for sacrificing my other hobbies in the future. I’ve shared these feelings with him, but the issue continues to be a point of contention. It feels a bit extreme to consider breaking up over pickleball, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my hobbies for the sake of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable? Do I have valid reasons to think that breaking up might be necessary?

Am I a bad partner for not finding my girlfriend as attractive as I once did?

My girlfriend has always had long ginger hair that she styled in the cutest ways, like half-up-half-down looks and buns. She took great pride in her beautiful hair, and it was one of the things I loved most about her, especially her variety of styles. However, in December, she decided to cut it short, above her shoulders. I tried to gently talk her out of it, but she went through with it anyway, and now I find that I'm not as physically attracted to her as I once was. I genuinely dislike her new hairstyle. I still see her as beautiful and love her deeply, but I miss how elegant she looked with long hair. Since the cut, she’s been unhappy with her new look and wishes for her old hair back. Does this make me a bad person?

Did I overreact when my girlfriend playfully hit me in front of her friends?

I'm feeling really confused and could use some advice. My girlfriend (22F) playfully hit me (22M) in front of her friends after I teased her a bit. Last night, she hosted a birthday party with all her friends, and it was a blast. She's a huge fan of a goofy movie, and we've always joked about her obsession with it. While we were hanging out, I was making fun of the movie, and she playfully punched my shoulder. It didn't hurt at all, but her friend next to her looked shocked and waved her off afterward. I understand it was meant in good fun, but I find it disrespectful to be hit, even playfully, especially in front of others. I grew up in a loving household where my parents never laid a hand on each other, even in jest, and they taught us that physical reactions aren’t acceptable, regardless of the intent. The rest of the night, I felt a bit off, and after her friends left, she noticed something was bothering me. I told her I was surprised by her hitting me; while it didn’t hurt, it just felt off and disrespectful towards a partner. She ended up having a breakdown and felt terrible about it, which was really upsetting. She said it was completely inexcusable, especially given all the things I do for her in our relationship. To add some context: I do put a lot into our relationship, and while I'm happy to support her, I get frustrated when she’s late to things. After all I did to help her prepare for the party, it felt inconsiderate to be hit, even playfully. She really panicked and said she feels like she gives so much less in this relationship and that she's overwhelmed with school. She expressed doubts about why I treat her so well and doesn't feel like she’s "girlfriend material" for me. Honestly, I wasn't that upset about the incident; it just bothered me and felt slightly disrespectful. I’m not angry at all, but her extreme reaction and guilt make me question whether I have the right to feel this way. Our relationship is typically filled with love and affection, and I’m fully committed to her. It just hurts to see her so upset, especially when I didn't do anything wrong.

Should I consider forgiving my friend who betrayed my trust last year?

Here's a rewritten version of your text: **A bit of context…** - I'm someone who strives to please others and avoids conflict. - In late 2023, I was taken advantage of and assaulted by a man. - He displayed both mental and physical aggression, and I fear he could become a predator in the future. - For my own safety, my friends severed ties with him, as they recognized he was dangerous and knew what he did to me. - In early 2024, I received a message from one of my friends, informing me that one of my closest friends had invited this man to her birthday party. - I felt incredibly betrayed, especially since she tried to keep this information from me, so I decided to cut her out of my life immediately. She has no idea why I blocked her and hasn’t spoken to me in months, although she’s reached out a few times via text. I only blocked her on social media, not on messaging. - Yesterday, after my dog passed away, she sent me a message expressing her condolences after seeing a post my sister made about it. - Now I'm unsure whether to continue ignoring her, simply say thank you and leave it at that, or attempt to rebuild our friendship. What do you think I should do? I find her untrustworthy, but I'm conflicted about whether to keep her as a casual friend or let things unfold naturally. Being a people pleaser often complicates my decisions, and I really struggle with maintaining a friendly demeanor with everyone. I'd appreciate any advice. I’m 18F and she is too.

I'm an 18-year-old male, and I've been reflecting on my relationship with my girlfriend, who is also 18.

We've been dating for nearly a year, and things are going well between us. However, I can't shake the feeling that I might not be ready to commit to a serious relationship. I worry that it could end badly for us. I truly love her and never want to hurt her. She's an incredible person, and her belief that we'll get married soon makes me anxious; I can't help but think about the possibility of causing her pain. I genuinely feel like I'm the source of her happiness, especially since we share so much about our lives. I really don't want to break up with her, but I'm uncertain about what to do. Am I wrong for having these thoughts?

I (23F) am facing an issue with my boyfriend's (25M) use of pornography.

In the past, my boyfriend and I have argued about his consumption of what I consider "soft porn." I've noticed he saves pictures of girls on Instagram and later goes to their profiles for arousal. I've also caught him searching for women with extremely unrealistic body types, which is upsetting to me because these women are often highly sexualized and represent the porn industry. While I understand that masturbation is normal, I feel that his daily engagement with this material objectifies women and exacerbates harmful stereotypes, reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards. Every day, he spends time on Reddit browsing topics like “jizz to this,” “boltedontits,” and “sluts,” continuously scrolling through this soft porn content—even when I’m in the same room. I realize this might be a habit for him, but it makes me very uncomfortable. It's evident that he's fixated on these unrealistic ideals. For instance, when we’re out at a club, he often does a double take at girls who resemble typical porn stars, showing how conditioned he is to these images. Additionally, having a girlfriend but still engaging with these Reddit forums feels wrong to me. Whenever I bring this up, he gets extremely angry, making it a sensitive topic. I used to check his phone frequently but have since stopped. Recently, when I did ask to see something on his phone, I discovered the Reddit posts. Sometimes, I feel taken for granted and wish I could ask him to delete Reddit, as he can't seem to browse without getting sucked into these topics. What should I do? Am I in the wrong for feeling upset and uncomfortable about this situation?

I've never been attracted to a man or masculine person before, but now I (24F) have feelings for my close friend (21M). How does this happen?

Hey! So, here’s the quick version: I'm a 24-year-old woman who has only ever been attracted to women. However, I recently developed feelings for one of my closest friends, who is a very androgynous guy, and it's left me feeling quite confused 😭. I’ve already come to terms with what this means for my sexuality, but navigating this situation is tricky for a couple of reasons: he’s a great friend and he’s a man. I’ve been dropping hints, but I can’t tell if he’s not picking up on them because he doesn’t want to acknowledge them or if I need to be more direct. I’m uncertain. The full story is below. Let’s call my friend Youssef ❤️. We met online about two years ago while creating content in the same niche on TikTok. We followed each other and quickly started chatting, which turned into daily voice notes and texts. Our bond has grown strong, and it’s been wonderful! He lives in my home country, while I’m in the U.S. When I visited family last summer, he was the only friend I made time to see—even though I didn’t have feelings for him then, I just knew I wanted to spend time with him. I felt butterflies the whole time, but I didn’t think much of it since he had a boyfriend and I didn’t consider myself attracted to anyone who wasn’t a woman. Fast forward a few months to December: Youssef shared that he had broken up with his boyfriend and I was the first person he told. As he opened up to me, I felt an unfamiliar ache in my heart, realizing how much I truly cared for him. I started replaying his voice notes and reminiscing about our messages, ultimately identifying my feelings as a crush. After a bit of an identity crisis regarding my sexuality, I fully embraced it and began crushing hard, lol. Here’s the catch—he identifies as pansexual but mostly dates men. When we became friends, I mentioned I was a lesbian, which we joked about, and I even said he’d be my type if I liked men 🥲. As the months went by, I began overanalyzing our friendship, thinking maybe I was overstepping. Even though we flirted playfully—typical of our queer friendship—I started toning that down a bit. Early January, he shared a bunch of pictures of himself with friends, and one included us. I messaged him, saying, "Omg, all your friends are so cute, look at us ❤️," to which he replied, “We’re all sexy, be real... I would date every single one of us, including you." I was totally shocked! It felt like he was giving me more than just friendly vibes, and my crush reignited. There’s definitely been a lot of flirtation between us, but sometimes I can’t tell if it’s just playful banter or if he actually feels something for me. Here are a few examples to help clarify: Signs he might like me: - He used to comment on my TikToks complimenting me like he does with people he likes, saying things like, “Damn, you look so good, cutie.” - He sends me TikToks with sexual jokes. - He talks about what he wants in a partner and lists traits I have, then mentions, “If only someone like that was in our country…” (I want to move back, so who knows?) - He frequently expresses how much he wishes I could be there for activities or celebrations. - When I first met him, I let slip that I kind of liked him, and he got excited about it but then later lamented that the right people for him aren’t in our country. Signs that confuse me: - He recently mentioned a crush on a mutual friend I introduced him to and keeps talking about them but adds that it won’t lead anywhere. - When I jokingly suggest I could be into men, he doesn’t seem to react. He only responds to other parts of the conversation. - After I told him about a friend getting engaged, he expressed a desire for us to live authentically and then sent me a mildly flirty message an hour later. This left me wondering if he still sees me strictly as a lesbian or if he doesn’t recognize that I could like him. What do you think? I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship, so I’m keeping the flirting light. I’m curious to know if he might feel the same or if I should just let it go and continue being friends. Thanks for reading and for your thoughts!

Am I really in love, or just imagining things?

I'm a 23-year-old woman and I've known a guy from my college for over four years now. I genuinely enjoy spending time with him and feel completely at ease in his presence. I've never been so open and vulnerable with anyone before. Even though I don't have romantic feelings for him, I often find myself thinking about spending my life with him in some way. I'm not entirely sure what that means. I've been diagnosed with severe OCD and depression, which makes it difficult for me to fully feel my emotions, leaving me uncertain about my feelings. We have a lot of mutual friends, but I still prefer talking to him above anyone else, even outside of typical couple activities. I feel like I can support and comfort him. I'm looking for thoughtful and genuine advice on how to navigate this situation. I don't want to cause any negativity, and I’m also mindful of not wanting to complicate his life, especially since I'm not very comfortable with physical affection.

My boyfriend (24) prefers that I (22) don't bring weed products into our future home. Should I just go along with his wishes?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and are planning to get married next month. He confided in me about his discomfort with my marijuana use, so I made a point not to smoke around him. When he started to complain about the smell, I switched to disposable vape pens. As we spent more time together, I reduced my smoking from 2-3 times every couple of months. Recently, we discussed the prospect of buying a house together. Initially, he expressed that he didn't want any weed in the house. I explained that I would use vapes instead, which produce no smoke and have little odor, and that I wouldn't use them around him. He suggested I keep it in my car and smoke elsewhere, but eventually, he offered that I could have a shed or garage for it. I found this response somewhat unreasonable because it’s vapor and I would never smoke it around him. This situation bothers me because I've made significant changes to accommodate his feelings, and yet he seems unwilling to compromise on this one aspect. I've already reduced my usage significantly, and I feel that if I own a house, I should have the freedom to enjoy it as I wish. Am I overreacting?

I (26, male) and my girlfriend (22, female) had an important discussion yesterday regarding our sex life, and I'm uncertain about the next steps to take.

Hey Reddit! My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half, and generally, everything's been wonderful. However, our sex life has consistently fallen short since the beginning. I have a high libido and enjoy being adventurous, while she tends to be more reserved. Yesterday, I found myself unable to maintain an erection because I was reflecting on how much oral pleasure I give her compared to how rarely I receive it in return. Her handjobs don't really meet my needs either, as her grip is quite gentle, and despite my efforts to communicate what I enjoy, nothing seems to change. She ended up in tears because we've only had sex twice this month. I explained that this was partly due to the fact that I sometimes find the experience unenjoyable since I rarely receive oral and it feels like I’m putting in more effort than she is. She expressed that she doesn't enjoy giving blowjobs and is trying her best with her handjobs, but the situation remains frustrating. To be fair, I can easily bring her to climax without any toys, but I've never reached climax through her handjobs or the rare times she does give oral. I'm uncertain about how to move forward, especially since we just relocated to a new city together. I love her and appreciate her personality, but I can't shake off the concern that our sex life is the biggest issue in our relationship. She asked if I compare our sex life to previous relationships, and while I told her I don’t, the truth is that I do, and I feel guilty about it. I miss having fulfilling sex. Today, after she stayed over, things have felt a bit off between us.

Am I Ready to End My Relationship with My Girlfriend?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for some time now, and lately, I've sensed that she might be distancing herself from me. I'm unsure if I'm just overanalyzing the situation or if there's genuinely something wrong, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind. To give some background, I have a complex history with relationships and friendships; I've faced exclusion and betrayal from people I trusted, leading me to be particularly sensitive to changes in behavior. Additionally, I deal with PTSD and severe anxiety, which I'm actively addressing, but this complicates my ability to manage emotional distance. Recently, she seems more remote. She takes longer to reply to my texts, cancels plans more frequently, and appears less engaged when we're together. When I attempt to discuss it, she either brushes it aside or insists everything is fine, but her actions suggest otherwise. It feels like she’s gradually slipping away, and I'm left wondering if I've done something wrong, if she’s losing interest, or if she’s dealing with something she won’t share. It's important to mention that she's facing challenges, including rejections from grad programs, which I know are taking a toll on her. While I don’t want to resent her for spending more time with friends, it makes me feel sidelined. It’s particularly frustrating since this is our last semester of college, and I expected us to make the most of our time together before everything changes. Instead, it feels as if she’s already moving on. I’ve always been the type to invest my whole heart into relationships, and I’d rather not cling to something that might no longer exist. However, I also don’t want to walk away from something that could potentially be repaired with a bit more patience. Right now, I feel caught in a limbo, uncertain whether to fight for this relationship or to let it go. How can you tell when it's time to end a relationship? How do you differentiate between someone needing space and someone who is pulling away for good?

I have a crush on my manager… (office edition)

A tale as old as time… I (32F) found myself captivated by my manager (36M). This realization crept in slowly—almost a year into our working relationship, I began to see him in a new light. I’ve always thought he was attractive; his charming smile and captivating eyes drew me in. Not to mention, he’s intelligent, positive, and kind, exuding a distinctly masculine energy. Before I knew it, I was smitten. Initially, I believed this infatuation would be fleeting, but it’s been four months now, and if anything, my feelings have only intensified. I genuinely want what’s best for him and would never want to disrupt our professional lives or our working dynamic. I’m determined to handle this situation thoughtfully, to the extent that I'm even considering switching teams or, in the worst-case scenario, finding a job elsewhere. These feelings have been weighing heavily on me; I feel drained. My sleep has suffered since this started, and I’ve lost my appetite. Lately, I’ve been getting the impression that he might feel the same way, but I’m left puzzled—could I be misinterpreting his actions? Am I simply blinded by my own feelings, or is there something real brewing beneath the surface? I could use some guidance! Here are some signs I’ve noticed: 1. He genuinely seems to care about when I’m doing well, often asking about my well-being and how my weekend went. 2. When he approaches my workspace, he tends to stand just a bit closer than necessary, though I don't move away—it feels nice to have him near. He often leans in while we talk, too. 3. Occasionally, when he asks me to pass him something, our hands or arms brush against each other. While these could be accidental, it’s happened a few times. 4. In group settings, he always positions his feet toward me, even if it means tweaking his posture—regardless of whether he’s facing me directly. 5. He laughs at even my worst jokes and has a big smile whenever he’s around me. 6. Our eye contact feels particularly intense, as if we share a profound connection. Sometimes when he talks to me and makes eye contact, I completely zone out, relying on automatic responses like “Mhm” and “Yes.” 7. Some colleagues have picked up on this dynamic—though I’m not sure if they’re sensing something from me or him. One time, while he was laughing in our work chat, a coworker kept turning to look at me, seemingly trying to gauge my reaction. I just feigned boredom and avoided using my keyboard. It felt as if she was trying to catch something unspoken. We strictly communicate about work via chat, email, or text, but our personal conversations are reserved for face-to-face interactions, especially during one-on-one meetings. 8. I often catch him stealing glances in my direction. 9. Occasionally, he blushes or seems nervous around me, but I can’t tell if it’s due to me or if he’s generally a nervous person. 10. He sometimes stumbles over his words or appears distracted during our conversations. Deep down, despite my infatuation clouding my judgment, I can’t ignore the signs that suggest something might be happening. There has to be more than just my imagination… right?

Did I make a mistake?

I (21F) attended my friend's 21st birthday celebration last night. Before I left, I mentioned to my fiancé (27M) that I wasn't sure if my ride, who was my friend, would be drinking, so I asked him to keep his phone on in case I needed a ride. At around 10 PM, he said he was getting ready for bed and asked if I needed a ride home or if my friend could bring me back later. She assured me that she’d take me home once she sobered up. However, she fell asleep around 12:30 AM, so I sent my fiancé a message just in case I dozed off waiting for her, so he wouldn't worry if I didn't make it home. Apparently, he thought I should have woken up my friend who had been drinking to drive me home, which didn’t seem safe to me. He eventually came and picked me up but was really upset about it. He said he felt he couldn't sleep without me there and that I should have known he wanted me home earlier. But this all started at 12:30, and my friend was both intoxicated and asleep. I just wanted to celebrate my friend's milestone birthday, and I would have been fine staying the night if necessary. For some extra context, he wasn't there because my friends perceive him as controlling after he didn’t allow me to go to a Halloween party they hosted. Now I’m wondering if I'm in the wrong here and would appreciate some opinions. Note: I hadn’t given him a specific time for when I would be home.

Looking for some advice! I'm a 22-year-old female and he's a 23-year-old male.

I've been with my partner for almost a year now, just a few days shy of that milestone. We connected on Tinder, met in person quickly, and hit it off immediately. Since then, we've hardly been apart. A few weeks into our relationship, he revealed that he had just ended a five-year relationship with his ex two weeks before we met. In August, I discovered I was pregnant and initially considered having an abortion since we had only been together for seven months and lived 100 miles apart. However, he pleaded with me to keep the baby and assured me he would support both me and the child. So, I let him move in with me, as he had been sofa surfing. Once I reached about 20 weeks pregnant, he started acting differently. He became distant, and our intimate life dwindled. Every evening after work, he would come home and immediately FaceTime his mom, often playing games with her late into the night, which disrupted my sleep. We argue over trivial matters and can never resolve our issues, which just gets ignored until the next week when the same problems resurface. I've bought everything for the baby myself, while he claims he doesn't have the money and expresses confusion, as his single mother provided for him during his childhood. This week, things took a turn. He had a good month at work and received a sizable paycheck. I thought he might help with the baby’s needs, but instead, he announced he would be leaving on Monday to visit his mom, 150 miles away, spending almost £300 on fuel. He didn't even mention this plan to me beforehand, which struck me as odd; had he discussed it, I wouldn’t have minded rearranging my schedule. He’s also not offered to buy anything for the baby again this month. On top of that, the car he's taking is the one we share—I cover half of all expenses like petrol, insurance, and taxes—so now I’m left without transportation to my hospital appointments next week. He didn’t even remember my appointment on Monday, which I will have to attend alone, a recurring situation, and the staff had expressed concerns about the baby’s size. I'm terrified at the thought of becoming a single mom at 22 and heartbroken that he seems indifferent towards me and our baby. I genuinely believed he was the love of my life, and I was looking forward to this new chapter together. However, I don’t want my child to feel second best, like I do now. I reached out to his mom to share my feelings, but she essentially labeled me as selfish, insisting that he deserves time away with her since she misses him. She also indicated that our relationship moved too quickly, which I agree with, but he’s the one who insisted on keeping the baby. I could really use some advice, as I feel so lost and scared right now. 😫

I'm uncertain about what actions to take.

I'm 16 and this is my first serious relationship, so I'm not an expert in these matters, but I want to share what I'm going through. I've been dating this girl for 10 months, and generally, things have been good. We’ve had minor arguments, but nothing significant. However, recently, I've been grappling with the thought of ending the relationship, and it’s been growing stronger over the past month. Now, it’s all I can think about, and I feel overwhelmed. I’m unsure why I’m feeling this way, and it’s hard to manage. I know it’s not healthy to keep these feelings to myself, and I should probably talk to her about it, but I'm hesitant because I fear it might create bigger problems and could lead to a breakup. At the same time, I feel guilty for not being honest with her, especially since she’s left wondering why I’ve been distant. I'm at a loss for what to do. We spoke today, and she mentioned that I'm acting differently. I told her I love her and apologized for my behavior. Yet, it's not fair to either of us to stay in a relationship if my heart’s not really in it. I feel sick with guilt, haven't eaten much in the past few days, and I'm struggling to find a way forward. I really need some guidance. I would appreciate any honest advice on how to handle this situation. I don't want to be judged or labeled as a terrible person, even though it feels that way right now. I’m just looking for some direction. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

How can I tell if I love my 19-year-old girlfriend if I’ve never really understood what love is?

My girlfriend and I are both 19 years old and have been together for just over a year since we met in college. When we first started dating, I had a nice group of friends and life felt pretty normal. But once I met her, everything changed. The way we connected, the way we gazed into each other's eyes, and how we would linger on campus long after classes had ended just to be together were all special moments. We spent countless hours together, and for the most part, it was wonderful. I won’t pretend that I was perfect; I realize now that during arguments, I often prioritized my own feelings over hers. I noticed some changes in her demeanor and understood that I needed to adjust how I reacted to things. Over the last two or three weeks, she has been incredibly busy with work, and we haven’t had much time to talk. My mind started racing with thoughts, making me worry that she might be growing tired of me. This led to constant stomach pain and anxiety for a while. However, everything changed when she came over one day and reassured me while I cried in her arms. Now that I feel secure in her love, I find myself questioning my own feelings for her. I don’t understand why this is happening. I was devastated and anxious, thinking she might not love me, and that worry kept me from eating for days. But now, with that fear alleviated, I'm left wondering if I truly love her. It feels confusing, and I’m not sure if what I feel qualifies as love. She makes me happy—when I'm with her, I feel at home and relaxed. I adore her sparkling eyes and the way her touch feels. I’ve opened up to her completely, and it doesn’t bother me at all; I appreciate her vulnerability as well. She puts in so much effort for our relationship, and I genuinely can’t imagine my life without her. I've even turned to my faith, wanting to fight for our love and explore new possibilities together. But now I’m starting to fear that this might not be meant to be. I definitely don’t want to lead her on; I want her happiness above all. I’m happy with her, but I also can’t stop thinking about our future together, which I envision positively. Honestly, I think it might just be my overthinking—this is my first real relationship. She has met my family, who adore her, and I’ve met hers, who love me in return. I really need advice on what to do. Please help!

A young mother striving to provide the best for her three young children is married to a habitual liar who struggles to escape a tumultuous past.

My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for 3.5 years and have three children under the age of three. Throughout our relationship, he has repeatedly lied about various things. Recently, I had a nagging feeling that something wasn't right. Despite our many conversations—often ending in gaslighting—he never confessed the truth. So, I mustered the courage to check his phone, and I discovered he had been in contact with an ex throughout our entire relationship (texting and snapping) and is still clearly not over him. I also learned that he is bisexual and was previously married to this man for three years. To make matters worse, he downloaded Tinder when I was 36 weeks pregnant with our third child and has been messaging a girl from the app. As far as I know, he hasn’t been physically unfaithful, but it feels like he won’t be honest with me unless I present him with concrete evidence. He claims he’s sorry, plans to seek therapy, and insists he wants to fix things, but my trust in him has been shattered. I'm terrified at the thought of becoming a young single mother of three. I'm looking for any thoughts or advice on how to move forward for the sake of my children and myself.

I'm looking for some advice but can't discuss it with anyone in person.

I'm 30, and he's 38, and we have a young child together. Years ago, I had my first hint that he might be unfaithful when I received an anonymous Facebook message that included explicit photos of him and the words "he's a cheat." I never figured out the truth behind it, but he insists he was just looking at photos on a swingers website and ended up getting blackmailed or something along those lines. There have been other suspicious incidents, but I'll skip the tedious details. He claims to have a "corn addiction" and enjoys looking at pictures of other women, but insists he has never physically cheated. For many years, he worked away while I raised our son. He returned home a year ago, and we've been functioning as a happy family since then. However, I recently stumbled upon his list of blocked contacts, which included numerous numbers. I thought it was unusual, so I added them to my phone and checked them on WhatsApp. Many of the contacts were escorts, along with some other random women. He has admitted to cheating in the past and mentioned that one reason for his return was to address this issue. Seeing him now makes me feel physically ill. He has no family nearby, and we don’t have any savings to help him find a place to stay. I can manage the house on my own since I earn a decent salary and have plenty of family support, but I worry about what to do with him. How can I leave the father of my child without a home? He’s a wonderful dad, and our little boy adores him. He is generally kind and caring toward me, but I just can't trust him. Additionally, he posted in a local Reddit hookup group when I was just six weeks post-miscarriage. As you can see, we're currently "stuck" together, and it's debilitating for me not to have anyone to talk to for advice or support. I regretted reaching out the first time and it took my mother years to recover from that betrayal. Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings; any advice would be truly appreciated.

Feeling Exhausted – Juggling Work, Home, and Lack of Routine M33 F33 Any Advice?

A few years ago, my career was in a downward spiral—I was dealing with depression, a terrible boss, and numerous challenges. Thankfully, I managed to turn my situation around with a new job. Although I’m doing well now, the constant demands make it both mentally and physically exhausting. At home, my partner works night shifts. On some nights, she claims her job is easy, even allowing herself to take naps when it’s not too busy. She truly is an amazing woman, handling cooking, cleaning, and maintaining the household. I recognize that I should be contributing more, and I genuinely try to help. However, it often feels like nothing I do is good enough. I’ve attempted to do the laundry, only to be told I might ruin it. When I offer to clean, I find out there’s only one "right" way to do it, which apparently isn’t how I do things. I thrive on structure and organization, especially with the kids around, but her system seems to change constantly. One week, there’s one designated drawer for items, and the next week, it’s different. This inconsistency drives me crazy as I try to maintain order, yet she insists on doing things her way. I’ve taken on the majority of our household expenses and want to help take care of our home. But simple surfaces like the kitchen counter and the bottoms of drawers are frequently grimy or damaged. While I don’t expect everything to be perfect, I believe that if something spills, it should be cleaned up right away—something I even teach the kids! When I attempt to discuss these concerns, she often reacts with anger, sarcasm, or tears, even when I’m being logical. It feels impossible to have a calm conversation about something as straightforward as household structure. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and shut down as a result. We've even joked about the possibility of me becoming a lonely old man, and lately, that idea feels increasingly appealing compared to the ongoing stress. Her ever-changing shift patterns and unwillingness to compromise on household organization leave me feeling isolated and drained. What I’m seeking is balance—a way to transform our home into a haven rather than another source of conflict. Has anyone else faced a similar situation? How did you manage to create structure and peace in your home life? I’m at a loss for what to do next. Thank you for your thoughts and advice!

Should I marry for love or prioritize financial stability through an arranged marriage?

I'm in love with a guy, and we've been in a relationship for about 7-8 months. Recently, my parents started pressuring me for marriage through arranged means, so I felt it was necessary to inform them about my relationship. They're opposed to it because my boyfriend currently doesn't have a stable job, and neither he nor his family possesses significant assets. There are also concerns about our different castes, how I would fit in, and what society might think. Initially, I was alright with his financial situation. We discussed it, and he’s actively working towards finding a better job. But now, I find myself thinking more practically. What if he doesn't secure a better position? What if he struggles to support his family? That thought has been weighing on me. Now I’m torn between staying with the man I love or opting for an arranged marriage with someone who has a solid financial background. What should I do?

What surprise should I plan for my boyfriend's birthday during our trip?

I'm a 28-year-old woman, and I’m heading to Brazil with my boyfriend, who’s 30, and his friends (mostly guys, plus two ladies) for the Rio de Janeiro Carnaval 2025 to celebrate his 30th birthday. This trip is fully planned, and he knows all about it. I'm hoping to surprise him with a sweet gesture while we're there, like an excursion or some thoughtful birthday surprises, but I’m having trouble coming up with something special! I already have a gift for him, but I really want to add a cute touch! His actual birthday isn’t during our trip, and we’ll be staying in an Airbnb with his friends. Any ideas? 😊

Lost my boyfriend's trust (I need assistance)

I'm a 22-year-old female and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together for over seven months. Early in our relationship, I struggled with sneaking glances at other guys while I was with him. He later mentioned that this might suggest I was looking for something better or that I had a tendency to cheat. He even said it looked like I was giving “come-hither” looks. When he confronted me about it, I initially didn’t understand what he meant and ended up lying for about 20 minutes before I felt comfortable enough to confess the truth. I was scared and uncomfortable with my actions, especially since we were still in the early stages of our relationship. I have a complicated past and have lied about some minor details—I've had 24 partners, which I've always felt ashamed of. There were also a few instances where random men would text me wanting to hang out, but I had nothing to do with that. Honestly, I’d consider changing my phone number if I could. By this time in our relationship, I had already told him I loved him and moved in with him after just two months. One day after work, he asked if I'd slept with anyone else recently. He claimed it felt like I had, describing my physical state as wet and spacious. At first, I was confused because I had been at work all day, and I work at a preschool, so that was impossible. I ended up lying again, saying how great our sex was and that he was the best I'd ever had. The truth was that my birth control was affecting my sex drive, and I wasn't feeling turned on at all. I kept this from him for months, not wanting to escalate the issue since my libido was so low. He then began consistently accusing me of cheating. After I got fired from my job, I was with him constantly, but he still made accusations, even suggesting I might have brought someone into his home while he was asleep. It sounds absurd, but he attributes these thoughts to my early behavior and the lies I told. Do you think that lying is often a sign of cheating, or do people sometimes lie to make others feel better? I’ve always believed in the idea of lying to protect feelings, but maybe it’s time for me to be more genuine and upfront.

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