Relationship advices

My mom appears to be excessively emotionally dependent.

Hello, as the title suggests, my mom (50F) has always been really dependent on both me (19F) and my dad. I recently moved away for college, and I can only visit home about twice a year because it's far and expensive. Honestly, I’ve never felt happier—I was so unhappy back home, and moving has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. However, my mom has been asking me for a good morning and good night call every day, wanting to know what I’m doing, who I’m with, and more. While I can manage this to some extent, it’s been months, and it’s getting overwhelming. With my busy school schedule, I barely have time to sleep at night; I can’t be on the phone for three hours a day. My dad visited me this week since my mom couldn’t come due to visa issues. Now that he’s away too, she’s calling me even more frequently, which I understand, but a few days ago, I missed her call because I was occupied. I hung up and texted, "I’ll call you back," but when I called back an hour later, she was in tears, yelling at me for hanging up. She said I was her whole world and accused me of not caring and disrespecting her upbringing, saying she regretted sending me abroad for college. I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen. I eventually handed the phone to my dad to handle it because I was really upset. Yesterday and today, I called her three times, but she’s been cold and distant. Her eyes were puffy, and she mentioned feeling physically and mentally unwell but said she couldn’t talk to me about it because I never liked what she had to say. She’s been in bed wearing the same clothes, and I suspect she hasn’t eaten for two days. I’m genuinely worried, but I’m also incredibly frustrated because I don’t understand how to handle this. I feel guilty even though I don’t believe I did anything wrong. This situation is draining for both me and my dad, and I know it won’t be the last time this happens. The same issue arose when my dad and I were both away before, and now that I’m away for good and he has several upcoming business trips, I’m at a loss for what to do. What on earth should I do? 😭 TL;DR: My mom calls me four times a day, and when I declined a call once due to being busy, she got angry and has been in bed and not eating for two days. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

I'm an 18-year-old female, and I'm finding it difficult to connect with my partner, who is 19, as I'm having trouble making time for him.

I don't typically form many friendships, especially on a deeper level. However, I've recently connected with someone new, and we really get along well. This budding friendship has made me more acutely aware of just how emotionally distant I am from my partner. I could easily brush off those feelings before, but now, with this new friend in my life, it's harder to ignore. I find myself wanting to spend time with him, but I also feel the need to reconnect with my partner. I'm unsure how to strike a balance between the two, especially since their schedules are quite similar. My friendship with this new guy is developing quickly, and I’m worried about coming across as too preoccupied with my partner, a mistake I made too often in high school. I've always wished for a friend like this, and now that I finally have one, I’m not sure how to navigate it all.

Seeking guidance on relationships.

Subject: Seeking Advice on Our Relationship Hi, My girlfriend and I are both in our 30s; I don’t have any kids, but she has two from a previous relationship. Over the past month or two, I've started to feel like she's giving me "leftover" time. I’ve tried discussing it with her, explaining that it bothers me when she has time for friends and parties, but not for us to spend quality time together—whether it’s going out on a date or just sitting down for a chat. Lately, it seems like I only see her when she needs assistance with something, like driving her to a friend's party, helping with shopping for her kids, or fixing things around her house. Even when we do manage to spend time together, she often seems preoccupied with other tasks. It feels like there's little attention or effort from her side toward our relationship, and I can't recall the last time she planned something special for us. Yet, I notice she always carves out time for at least one evening with friends each week. From the beginning, I’ve been very supportive, offering my time, financial help, and assistance with her home and kids. Recently, when I expressed my feelings, she apologized and promised to work on our relationship. She even suggested creating a jar with color-coded notes for activities we can do together, but whenever I bring up the idea of preparing that jar, she seems too busy or uninterested. There have been some improvements in our communication, which is encouraging, but there are still many little things we've discussed and agreed upon that need attention to strengthen our relationship. I'm feeling quite lost right now. I want to understand how to support her better, yet I also sense a lack of appreciation and effort from her side. While I've tried addressing this and she promised to change, it hasn’t led to any significant progress. I genuinely love her, and the thought of breaking up is tough, as I don’t want to lose what we have. However, it’s starting to feel like I’m more of a convenience for her rather than a partner, especially as I become more involved in her children’s lives. I’m concerned about delaying action on this issue because the prospect of losing her and having to navigate life without the two kids is daunting. Has anyone experienced something similar in their relationship? I would appreciate any advice on how to communicate my feelings to her. Am I being too needy for expecting more? Thank you for your support.

A 22-year-old woman suggested a possible break to her 23-year-old boyfriend, as she feels their relationship has become stagnant. Could this be beneficial?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (23M) have been together for just over three years, but we’ve been experiencing some ups and downs for the past six months. We cycle between good and bad times, and I’ve made several mistakes along the way. I tend to project my own issues onto her and often seek constant validation, stemming from past trauma. Today, she suggested taking a break. We had talked about it a few months ago when our problems first began to surface. I genuinely want to work things out and break this negative cycle. It’s important to me to address my issues and become a better partner. I know that sometimes love fades, and she has been incredibly supportive, helping me in ways I never expected. During our conversation about the break, she mentioned that she might want one but isn’t entirely sure what she wants at the moment. While she still expresses love for me, the idea of a break is confusing. I understand that breaks can sometimes help couples gain perspective on their feelings, but there’s also a real possibility that this is just a stepping stone toward a breakup. I’ve come across many voices online that imply a break signals the end, but I genuinely believe she loves me based on her actions and support. It's possible she’s still undecided about her feelings. I can see the potential benefits of a break—time apart might help us both realize what we truly value in our relationship and perhaps even strengthen it. My main question is: how can I tell if she is genuinely committed to a constructive break with healthy boundaries? Would couples counseling be a better avenue to explore? Given that we’ve talked about our future together before but things have stagnated, is it possible for us to rekindle the love we once had? Can we fix our relationship, or is this just a way for her to create distance before a breakup? I know we need to talk this through together, but I’m also seeking some glimmer of hope from others. I believe not all relationships that hit a rough patch end in failure, and I want to hold on to the possibility of improvement. She brings me happiness, and while we share many similarities, we also have our differences. Maybe some time apart could help her focus on her own happiness while I work on the concerns she’s raised. Ultimately, I hope to show her that I’m capable of personal growth—for both her and myself. **TL;DR**: My girlfriend (22F) is uncertain about whether she wants a break, as she feels our relationship has become stagnant and fears resenting me (23M) in the long run.

I'm looking for advice regarding a girl from Peru.

I’m an Indian and I've been chatting with a Peruvian girl for the past 20 days. I’m looking for advice on how to maintain our relationship. We haven’t met in person yet; our connection started on Instagram. She shared her WhatsApp number with me, and I’d like to get some guidance on how to approach this. She recently called me on a video call, but I'm not very proficient in Spanish, and she's not great at English either. These days, we chat for about four hours. She primarily speaks Spanish.

My husband has been prioritizing his best friend's financial needs over our household. How can I address this issue?

My husband, Rich, and his best friend, Tom, started a business together six years ago. While it’s mainly Rich’s venture—he conceived the idea and handles over 80% of the workload—it's been struggling significantly. Calling it a financial burden would be an understatement; it’s essentially a money pit. The only reason it’s still operating is that Tom has been selling off investments to keep it afloat. For the record, I urged both of them to shut it down two years ago. Rich was ready to quit, but Tom wanted to continue, so Rich kept working. He feels an overwhelming sense of gratitude and guilt towards Tom for his ongoing financial support. If, or rather when, the business fails, both of them will have to declare bankruptcy. Fortunately, due to our state laws, Rich’s bankruptcy will only impact our joint assets, which means our house, cars, and my personal savings will remain safe and sound. I’m currently not working due to a disability and a surprise baby. My personal savings were meant to cover several months of our family’s expenses in case of Rich’s business failure and his job loss. Unfortunately, I’ve had to dip into that account multiple times over the past six years, leaving it significantly depleted. Last winter, we found ourselves in a tough situation where we couldn’t make ends meet. For several months, we went without essentials until I had to once again use my personal savings to fill the gap. In the spring, I discovered that during this time, Rich was only taking two-thirds of his salary, which made me extremely frustrated. This, among other issues related to his startup, led to us beginning marital counseling. Recently, during one of our sessions, I learned that he had been taking a reduced salary for a much longer period than I realized and had depleted our joint savings to lessen the amount of money Tom needed to invest in the business. I vaguely remember him mentioning a reduced salary long ago, and since that money would likely be lost in the upcoming bankruptcy, I’m not overly upset about that. However, what truly angers me is that after draining our joint account, instead of asking Tom to restore his full salary when we needed it, he chose not to for fear of adding stress to Tom's life. He admits he should have discussed this with me more openly, but now I can’t shake the feeling that I was excluded from crucial decisions and that he prioritized Tom over me. I feel deeply betrayed. I'm really struggling to move past this issue. Rich's startup is a significant point of contention in our relationship, and I no longer trust his judgment regarding it. On the flip side, he is a loving husband and a devoted father, and our counseling sessions have been beneficial. I’ve come to understand through therapy that I find it challenging to let go of the past and that I harbor some bitterness towards his business endeavors. Rich doesn’t seem to view this situation as a major problem. Am I being unreasonable? Regardless, how can we both move forward from this?

I discovered that my girlfriend (19F) was unfaithful.

Today, she was taking a nap, so I took the opportunity to use her phone to watch some YouTube. While I was on it, her friend sent her a text, and I opened it to reply. After that, I noticed she was chatting with someone else and had turned off notifications for that conversation. Curious, I clicked on it and discovered she was sharing intimate photos and videos of us together. I haven't brought it up with her yet. Any advice?

My boyfriend tends to be quite dismissive.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. He’s 26, and I’m 25. He’s a pretty laid-back and easygoing guy—doesn’t stress much, is super patient, soft-spoken, and tends to keep to himself. You know the type. Lately, though, I’ve noticed he doesn’t really express his feelings, which I get is common for a lot of guys. However, he can also be quite dismissive overall, and I’m starting to feel uncertain about that. For example, one of his friends is going through a divorce—he’s a bit of a wild card, drinks a lot, and lives a reckless lifestyle. This friend has asked my boyfriend to move in with him at his new condo. My boyfriend was expecting this and is considering it. That honestly worries me; I really don’t want him to move in with someone who’s a bad influence. While I trust my boyfriend’s loyalty, I’m not sure I trust the combination of him and his friend. I brought up my concerns, saying I don’t think it’s a good idea for him to move in. He just replied, "Okay." When I asked if he wanted to know why, he shrugged it off, saying, "I don’t really care; that’s your opinion," and then changed the subject completely. This is just one example of his dismissive attitude that I’ve noticed a few times now. Should I be concerned about this behavior? Am I overreacting for feeling uneasy about it? Or is it wrong of me to have an opinion on whether he should move in with his friend?

I'm an 18-year-old female and I misled my boyfriend, who is 20, about my age when we first started dating. How should I tell him the truth after a few months of not being honest?

I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 20. At the time, I misrepresented my age because I didn't expect us to last beyond a few dates. I even tried to self-sabotage the relationship to escape the situation I had created, but he proved to be incredibly understanding and stuck by me through all the ups and downs. We connected on an app where I had my profile listed as 19—initially, I never intended to meet anyone from there; it was just for fun. When the topic of my age comes up, I’ve gone along with the story instead of clarifying the truth, though I don’t justify my actions. Fast forward almost a year, and I've fallen deeply in love with him, and we're now engaged. Yet, I still struggle to tell him the truth about my actual age. I know there’s never a perfect time to reveal something like this, but I’m at a loss for how to approach the conversation. I feel terrible whenever my age comes up, and the thought of losing him terrifies me. What if he reacts negatively? I recognize that what I did was wrong, but I’m unsure how to rectify the situation. On top of all this, I’m now pregnant with his child. I made sure to wait until I was of legal age to meet him in person, so there was nothing illegal about our relationship—just a moral dilemma I'm grappling with. Any advice would be appreciated.

I'm a 28-year-old woman, and my girlfriend, who is 26, tends to be quite messy. It's beginning to affect me emotionally.

We've been together for two years and have spent most of that time living under the same roof. When we were in our small apartment in Baltimore, I attributed the clutter to our tight space. However, after moving to a slightly larger place in Minneapolis, I’ve come to realize it’s more than just that. For instance, our nightstands reveal a stark contrast—hers is cluttered with soda bottles, food wrappers, and miscellaneous items, while mine remains tidy. In the bathroom, clothes accumulate on the floor; although some are mine, the majority are not. I've been trying to create a more equitable division of chores, but it's been challenging. I often have to remind her to do the dishes, and even then, it's hit-or-miss. Laundry is another battle—if I don’t keep up with the routine, it quickly falls apart. Clean clothes pile up in the dryer until I finally fold them, and when I hand her clothes to put away, they frequently remain unattended. Overall, I feel like I’m handling about 70-75% of the household tasks. I’ve brought this up before, but she only helps out when I specifically ask her to, and even then, it feels like she’s not fully engaged. This situation has me reconsidering our future together. How can I express my stress and frustration to her without coming across as harsh?

What's really happening? I need some clarification.

This is quite lengthy. I'm a 32-year-old female who began talking to a 32-year-old male colleague (he's literally one day older than me). From the start, he took the initiative, openly expressing his crush on me to our coworkers and even using our astrology charts to get my number. It was clear that he knew I liked him too, as we flirted often at work. For 25 days, we communicated every day, all day. One evening, we decided to grab a bite, and ended up in my car. It was there that he expressed he couldn't continue our relationship because his spiritual guides advised against it, although he still wanted to get to know me. At that point, we hadn't even kissed, so I thought that’s all we were doing—getting to know each other. We shared a warm hug and continued texting daily. As time progressed, he asked me out again, and we found ourselves in my car once more. During this meeting, he revisited his spiritual beliefs, emphasizing his desire for emotional connection rather than purely sexual, and he then asked if he could kiss me. After an intense hour-long make-out session that heightened our mutual attraction, we parted ways and everything felt wonderful. I suggested we cuddle and watch a movie together, which excited him. He invited me over to meet his pets but mentioned that there were still concerns about our relationship that we’d need to discuss. When I arrived, he shared that his sister had given him some insight regarding our energies, recommending we tread carefully. He confessed he had not been in touch with his spiritual guides lately because they disallowed our connection, but when I asked if he wanted me to step back, he said no. However, he admitted that if it came down to spirituality or me, he would have to make a choice (which I recognize as a sign of narcissism). We ended up crying, comforting each other, sharing personal stories, and laughing. Despite his concerns, we kissed for hours, but ultimately, we didn't have sex because I had to take a test the next day. I accidentally left my ring at his place, but he sent me sweet messages afterward, and we made plans to see each other again. The following day was fairly regular; we texted throughout the day and shared music. He was heading to a concert with his sister, the same one who had been cautious about our situation, and kept communicating with me during his drive. The next day, he responded to my texts but finally sent a message that hinted at a serious conversation. He stated: “I had some insight about us on my drive to the concert. Some of this will be difficult to hear… I just want to be real.” He followed up with a nine-minute audio message discussing his day and asking about mine, expressing a desire to meet up before or after work to chat more about his insights and mentioned wanting to hear me sing. I couldn't meet up, so I suggested he call me, which he did. I sensed something was about to shift. After some small talk, he got to the point, explaining that he believed we had a trauma bond, despite only having known each other for 25 days. He mentioned feeling a sort of addiction to me, making it difficult to go about his daily life without thinking of me, even at the concert. He acknowledged that this was dysfunctional, expressing regret about how he felt. I responded simply with, “okay.” He offered compliments about my strength and openness, mentioning he still wanted to maintain our work relationship. I told him I was still processing everything and felt uncertain about whether our relationship was more helpful than hurtful. There was a long pause, and after some silence, he said, “I’ll see you at work… have a good night.” Naturally, I was heartbroken. The next day at work, I expected him to bring my ring and engage in our usual small talk, but he was distant and didn’t bring the ring. Fast-forward to now, four days after the breakup, and he's been deliberately avoiding me at work, despite my attempts to be casual. He seems quieter around everyone and even said “good morning” to me with a sad expression yesterday. Still, no mention of my ring, and I know he remembers it, as he’s very organized. I’m trying to understand why he is behaving this way after breaking up with me. He indicated that he wanted to maintain some level of communication at work, yet now he seems intent on avoiding me. It's confusing. **TL;DR:** I’m unsure what’s going through this man’s mind after our breakup, especially since I wasn’t the one who ended things.

I feel overwhelmed with guilt just thinking about leaving. What do you think?

What do you think about my situation? I'm considering breaking up with my partner, who identifies as non-binary and is 23, while I am a 23-year-old woman. We've been close since high school, having known each other for seven years and been in a relationship for three. I cared deeply for them and often imagined our future together during our high school years, but it hurt when they were still interested in their ex. We both have BDP, so our emotional ups and downs were intense, but we always found our way back to each other. In college, I made the decision to distance myself from them, despite my efforts to keep them in my life. After going through a significant change following COVID, I confessed my feelings only to be turned down again, which prompted me to pull away. Eventually, we reconnected as friends, and our dynamic shifted; there was flirtation, and we ended up becoming intimate. When they asked me to be their girlfriend, I agreed, fulfilling a long-held desire. I moved them into my dorm, and for the last two years of college, we essentially lived as a couple, juggling school, jobs, and home life. The beginning was challenging, but I learned to trust the process as they worked through their depression and became more responsible. However, I've noticed that I've taken on a caregiving role in our relationship for the past three years. I still love them, but I've come to realize that I'm no longer interested in being in a romantic relationship. I feel like the "mom" in the partnership, and I've lost touch with my former self—I used to be so lively and happy, but now I don’t feel that way as much. I've stopped hanging out with friends and have neglected my appearance (though I know that's not all their fault). They’ve made some positive changes, like advancing in their job and helping around the house—things many women wish for in a partner. Despite their loyalty and the fact that they’re my best friend, they still struggle with self-care. They've frequently expressed feeling isolated since moving in with me, as well as dissatisfaction with their appearance and lack of a degree (I have my bachelor's). Living in a bustling college town, they could have engaged more with the community, but they tend to stay inside, and even after I encouraged them to return to school, they found it difficult to keep up with the classes. I can understand why, yet if they'd taken more initiative, they could have transferred out in time for my graduation. Their mental health challenges hold them back from prioritizing themselves, and they often voice their frustrations about it. We've discussed these issues over the years, but they seem to become sad without making the progress I hope for. I've taken charge of things like utilities and picking our apartment after I graduated. I recognize that at some point, I need to let them take more control, but I struggle to trust them. I know they're smart and capable, but my history of managing our responsibilities has led me to naturally take over tasks like handling bills and debts. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the need to remind them of things; it shouldn’t always fall on me to nudge them into action. It’s frustrating that it often takes my emotional breakdown for them to step up and help around the house. They genuinely try, which makes me feel guilty about my feelings. I do love them, but it’s not in the same way anymore. I once believed I could fix our relationship, but now I’m uncertain.

I (19M) am ending my relationship with my girlfriend (18F), but she refuses to accept it. What should I do next?

I've been considering breaking up with her for the past few weeks, and yesterday, I finally opened up about how I feel. For context, we've been together for nearly five years, but I'm ending things because I need to focus on myself and can't fully commit to the relationship, especially since I've moved to a different city for college. Part of me also wants to explore being with other people. She keeps insisting that we can work things out and that she wants to support me, but she doesn’t seem to grasp that I truly need to be on my own and can’t continue in this relationship. I'm coming home for the weekend and I plan to have a face-to-face conversation with her, but I'm worried she won't let me go. What should I do?

Why do I (18M) feel jealous of my partner's (17F) success and accomplishments?

I'm a 19-year-old male who recently ended a relationship with an 18-year-old girl, and I'm reflecting on what went wrong. We met while I was a senior in high school and she was a junior. A key issue in our relationship, ultimately leading to its end, was my jealousy towards her. She was a cheerleader, an honor student, a flag football player, a student ambassador, and a track athlete. She consistently brought home honors and accolades, and instead of feeling happy and proud, I found myself consumed by jealousy. I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, believing she was a better athlete, student, and teammate than I was, which fostered resentment in me. I couldn't shake off the fact that she had won a state championship in cheerleading the year before we started dating, and even though I truly loved her, my emotions overshadowed my pride in her success. My reactions were unhealthy: I stopped attending her events and undermined her achievements, both in my mind and openly to her. I realize now that these actions deeply damaged our relationship and made me feel like a terrible partner and an even worse person. I find myself asking: Am I broken? What’s wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be happy to be the person she chose? I understand I was in high school then, and now I'm in college, which might make my struggle seem trivial to more mature individuals. But I’m seeking advice because my jealousy cost me a wonderful relationship with a sweet girl, and I want to understand how to address this issue within myself so I can grow beyond it.

I'm a 18-year-old female and my boyfriend, who is 19, wants us to get married, but I'm unsure if I'm ready for that step.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now, and we've recently begun discussing marriage. At first, I was super excited, but then a flood of doubts crept in. What if he isn't the right one, and we end up divorced? I find myself questioning whether I'm truly ready for marriage, and I'm unsure if I'll ever feel prepared. I love him and envision a future together, so I suggested we get our own place first and then consider marriage. He insists he wants to marry me and spend his life with me, which sounds amazing, but I still have my reservations. I haven't finished school yet, we don’t have our own home, and I’m not in my dream job. I’d prefer to feel more stable before taking such a big step, but I worry that I might never feel ready. I tend to overthink everything, and I might be doing that with this situation as well. I genuinely love him and can picture a life together. We share the same values, want similar lifestyles, and agree on how to raise our future kids. He feels perfect for me; we both embrace our quirks, and I appreciate his kindness and willingness to improve. Still, I grapple with the uncertainty of whether I'm ready for marriage and fear he might leave if I’m not. I desire independence and want to experience life on my own, but I also long to share those experiences with him. My emotions are all over the place. I care deeply for him and fear losing him, but I’m conflicted about whether I'm truly ready or just overthinking everything.

I am a 31-year-old woman, and he is 56 years old.

I really like him; he has a wonderful personality and is very caring. However, the age gap concerns me. In a few years, if we decide to have kids, will he be able to play with them or join them for practices? Will we be able to travel together? I haven't traveled much before and there are so many experiences I'd love to have. I grew up in a strict household in the Middle East, so I missed out on a lot of those more adventurous things during my twenties that many others enjoyed. I'm a doctor and recently completed my residency, while he works as a producer in the film industry. We genuinely connect, and I find our conversations incredibly engaging—something I've never experienced with other guys.

I need to find out how to handle this.

I've been in a relationship with this wonderful woman (F37) for a while now, but she has a high-stress job that sometimes requires her to take time for herself. I totally understand the need for personal space—everyone needs time to recharge and reflect, right? However, she’s mentioned that in the past, her stress has led her to completely withdraw for days at a time, and that’s where I struggle. I know it’s not me causing her need for space, as she reassures me of that, but I can't help but wonder why I have to bear the brunt of her needing to isolate, especially if it’s due to stress from others. It’s tough for me to accept, and I worry that it makes me come off as unsupportive. I really question myself about this. Days without communication feel really painful. I’d appreciate any advice on how to cope during these times, and I’d like to hear your thoughts: Am I being selfish? Thank you!

30/F, 31/M - I'm unsure about how to love!

I'm a 30-year-old woman working in fintech, earning a respectable income. My boyfriend is 31, incredibly charming, and has a vibrant, outgoing personality with a wide circle of friends. In contrast, I tend to be more reserved and private, with just one or two close friends, and I prefer not to share much about myself. Social interactions can be draining for me. I worry that my behavior might be causing him distress. I thought I understood how to love, but it seems I'm either too intense or not involved enough. While I'm generally independent, I realize that in a relationship, emotional reliance is important for connection. This creates a dilemma for me: I either feel like I can't survive without him or that I could walk away without a second thought. I just want to enjoy a happy, healthy relationship filled with laughter and minimal conflict. How can I improve our situation? Any advice would be appreciated!

dating someone who had a fling with my best friend

Even though my best friend and he hooked up once, they never officially dated; they only talked and occasionally spent time together. We were discussing him and noticed that we share some similarities. She gave me her blessing to talk to him, and we've been chatting for a little while now. I'm beginning to develop feelings for him, and if things progress, the intention would be to date. It doesn't really bother me that they had that experience, but I do wonder if it might affect me in the future. They still have some contact since we all attend the same university, which means we run into each other sometimes. Am I overthinking this, or do I have valid reasons to reconsider pursuing him?

Should I share my feelings with her?

We ended our relationship amicably about a month ago, and it wasn't due to any personal issues—she just needed some time to focus on herself during a stressful period. My feelings for her haven't changed; I love her just as deeply as I did the day I left her place. Last weekend, she called me after having a few drinks, and I expressed my desire to reconnect when she's feeling better. She responded by saying, "We're not getting back together. It could be years before I'm ready for anything again, and I don't want you to wait. I want you to move on and find someone just as wonderful and loving as you are." The truth is, I believe that person is her. I'm more than willing to wait—whether it's years or even decades. I understand it's still early, but she is everything I've ever wanted and more. While we did have some challenges in our relationship, I've reflected on them and don't think they would pose a problem now. My love for her remains, and I want her in my life, always. Should I share my feelings with her? If you have any other questions, feel free to ask—I'm open to discussing anything.

I discovered that my girlfriend, who is 21, was cheating on me with my roommate, who is 22.

I'm in a tough spot and really need some advice. This morning, I discovered some explicit messages between my roommate and my girlfriend. I've been with my girlfriend for three years and my roommate for two. For the last four to five months, I've been feeling uneasy about how much time she spends with him. She frequently cancels our plans, there's been poor communication when they hang out, and she often gets physically close to him—like sitting right next to him and sharing a blanket. I've expressed my feelings about this to her and admitted that it makes me question if something more might be happening between them. This sparked a prolonged argument that's been going on for the past week or two. Her response has been that it's my fault for not being supportive. To add some context, I lost a longtime friend to suicide last February, and since then I've been working on my emotional well-being. I've been committed to addressing her concerns, making an effort to improve, and establishing a solid plan through therapy and pushing myself outside my comfort zone. However, when I raise my own issues, she says she'll work on them but doesn't follow through. When I found those explicit messages this morning, I confronted her about it. She expressed remorse but insisted that they’ve only kissed once recently. I struggle to believe her given our situation. I've told her that I need some space, and I haven’t spoken to my roommate yet. I'm unsure how to process all of this. I'm caught between the fear of losing two important relationships in my life and the pain that makes me feel like I never want to speak to them again.

I’m a 19-year-old guy, and I lost my girlfriend’s trust by posting photos on Instagram with girls showing their feet. She shared this with everyone in her life, but she still wants to work things out. How can we rebuild trust together?

Before I started dating my girlfriend, I developed a personal fascination with legs and feet that led me to regularly search for related content on Instagram and save it for myself. While I never acted on it in real life, it became a habit I didn’t take seriously. Two weeks into our relationship, she stumbled upon a folder of saved posts on my account and confronted me. She expressed her hurt and discomfort, asking me to stop, which I promised I would. When she discovered the posts, she was upset and felt as though I was comparing her to tall, slender women and that I didn’t find her attractive. At the time, I misinterpreted her reaction, assuming she was simply insecure about her body and upset with my attraction to a particular body type. I failed to grasp the deeper implications of my actions and how disrespectful they were. I’ve always seen her as perfect and would never intentionally compare her to anyone else. I now recognize that my behavior caused her pain, something I didn’t understand back then. For several months, I succeeded in avoiding this habit, but about nine months into our relationship, similar content began appearing in my Instagram feed again. I secretly started saving it to an alternative account. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal since I wasn’t directly interacting with anyone or doing anything inappropriate. I even rationalized my actions by pointing out that she sometimes watched porn and saved celebrity edits. Looking back, I see this was a poor excuse for my behavior. My habit spiraled out of control; I was sending posts that included images of celebrities wearing open-toed shoes, faceless photos of people from my university, and videos of women dancing. I deeply regret sending the images of people from my university, especially considering I didn’t even know them. I can’t believe I crossed that line, and I now see how much it could hurt her. Two weeks ago, she uncovered the alt account and realized what I had been doing. She confronted me and ended our relationship right away. Initially, I downplayed my actions because I didn’t think they were serious. I wasn’t messaging anyone or engaging with the content, so I convinced myself that they were just harmless images. However, seeing her pain made me fully understand how I had betrayed her trust, and I’m ashamed of what I did. Since that moment, she’s been torn. She’s expressed that her greatest fear is being hurt again. She believes we may be too damaged to repair and doubts my ability to genuinely change. I’ve tried everything I can think of to demonstrate my commitment to change—bringing her flowers, cooking for her, and assuring her I won’t repeat my mistakes. Yet, she’s expressed concern that I’m emotionally manipulating her, which is terrifying for me because that’s the last thing I want. To complicate matters, she has shared what happened with everyone in her life—not just her close friends, but acquaintances as well. Over 20 people are now aware of my actions and have urged her to end things with me. Although her parents don’t view my behavior as severely as others do, they acknowledge that I lied to her, which can be forgiven. Classmates and acquaintances are now aware, and one girl even took it upon herself to warn other girls who are friends of mine. While my friends have assured me they understand, I can’t shake the fear that people will want to ostracize me. Right now, she feels torn because, despite declaring her love for me, she doubts my capacity for change. She fears we are too broken to mend, and I don’t want to give up on our relationship. We both truly love each other and want our partnership to succeed if there’s a chance. I know I have deeply wounded her, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to prove I can improve. Yet, I’m also afraid that it might be too late and that I may not be able to change her perspective. Length of Relationship: Approximately 15 months TL;DR: I undermined my girlfriend’s trust by secretly saving Instagram posts related to feet, despite my promise to stop after she confronted me earlier in our relationship. I rationalized my behavior by pointing to her engagement with porn and celebrity edits, but I now realize how wrong and hurtful that was. After she found my alt account, I’m devastated by the pain I’ve caused her. We’ve both made mistakes, and while she is conflicted, I want to show her that I can change and make things right. How can we both work towards forgiveness and rebuild our relationship?

I'm a 25-year-old woman who recently ended my relationship with my 28-year-old boyfriend, and now he’s asking for another opportunity. How should I handle this?

My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been together for over a year. While our relationship was never perfect, it had its decent moments. Initially, I was impressed by how open and communicative he was, and I felt genuinely lucky to have him. However, the past few months have been challenging, and I’ve begun to feel like we’re not the same people anymore. To provide some background: I unexpectedly found out I was pregnant in July, though it wasn't confirmed until October. During that period, I realized I wanted to break up due to my unhappiness in the relationship. He convinced me to work through it together, and we began couples counseling. Ultimately, we mutually decided to terminate the pregnancy, a heartbreaking choice. Throughout this, he was supportive and allowed me the space to make my own decision without pressure. Since then, our relationship has been tumultuous. We’ve quarreled over seemingly minor issues (like my reluctance to share my Gatorade on the day of the procedure), which escalated into intense arguments where he resorted to name-calling. He later apologized, saying he felt overwhelmed and hadn’t been the support I needed. Although he attempted to be there for me after the procedure, I’ve felt emotionally, physically, and mentally neglected. He has been spending significant time with friends and family, frequently using our shared car for his own purposes while leaving me to arrange my own transportation. He has also steered clear of talking about the abortion or checking in on my emotional state, leaving me feeling unimportant. Despite repeatedly expressing my needs for affection, communication, and quality time, it seems like nothing has changed. Last night, everything came to a head. I shared my feelings of neglect and that my needs and boundaries were being overlooked. I told him that love alone is insufficient for a healthy relationship and that I’ve been unhappy for quite some time. I expressed my concerns that he might be inherently selfish and that I can’t envision a future together. Initially, he agreed to break up, stating he loves me and wants me to be happy. However, he later became emotional, insisting he doesn’t want to lose me and that our love is the most genuine connection he’s ever experienced. He pleaded for another chance, offering to implement changes, such as establishing a weekly date night on Mondays. He then sent me a message saying: "I know you’re done with me, but if you’d like to go on a date every Monday, please say yes. If not, just tell me what I want to hear. Even after I leave for my trip, I want to continue. I got too comfortable and didn’t put in the effort you deserve. Just forget everything else. Good night. ❤️ Do what’s best for you, love." Now I'm feeling conflicted. Breaking up was heartbreaking, yet it also brought a sense of relief. I’ve never ended a relationship with someone I loved before, and it's been emotionally taxing. Part of me contemplates giving him another chance since he appears willing to change, but another part feels drained and skeptical about whether anything will improve, especially since I’ve heard similar promises in the past. What should I do? How can I determine if it’s worthwhile to try again or if it’s best to walk away? **TL;DR** I (24F) ended my relationship with my boyfriend (28M) after months of conflict, neglect, and unmet needs following an unplanned pregnancy and abortion. He’s now pleading for another chance, claiming he will change, but I feel emotionally exhausted and uncertain if it's worth it. Should I give him another chance or move on? **NOTE:** Throughout our time together, there have been financial problems on his part, breaches of trust, and a past incident of cheating. He once downloaded an app to talk to another woman after a fight, claiming he needed an escape from the negativity. He said I should have focused on what I could do to prevent him from feeling that way (that was about seven months ago).

My boyfriend (22M) and I (20F) had the police called on us by his mother because we're in a relationship. How should I handle this situation?

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. Initially, his mother liked me, but over time she started calling me boring and began bad-mouthing me. My boyfriend is currently unemployed, and she has begun blaming me for his situation, even though he tends to be lazy and only engages in productive activities when prompted repeatedly. One day, after a conversation with him, I hung up for a moment and called back without receiving an answer. Concerned, I reached out to his friend for help. I found out that his mom had taken his phone away because she disapproved of our relationship. I decided to call her directly, and while she acted benign, she called me a "bitch" and hung up when I confronted her about the phone situation. Determined to resolve things, I went to his house. When I arrived, his mother wasn't home, so I waited until she returned. To my surprise, she showed up with the police, stating she wanted to put an end to our relationship. The officers asked my boyfriend if he wanted to be with me, and he affirmed that he did, as did I. The police found the situation awkward and suggested we go to the nearest station. Eventually, I managed to convince his mother that we would reduce our communication and meet less frequently, which seemed to ease the tension for a while. However, yesterday, she argued with my boyfriend after we met for just an hour in the evening. She has now threatened him with arrest if he doesn’t end our relationship. I believe no parent should dictate their child's dating life. If he's happy with me, why does it matter to her? What do you think of this situation? "TL;DR": My boyfriend's mom called the police because we want to be together, but she doesn't approve. We both still wish to stay together despite her opposition.

Drifting away from love? :(

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four months, but we've been exclusive for over a year. He confessed his love for me more than a month ago, but I wasn't ready to respond until last week, just a day before a huge argument we had. We tend to fight often, but after this last confrontation, things feel different—I can sense a shift in our connection. Last week, we had one of our biggest disputes, sparked by me jokingly touch another girl. Being bisexual, he became really upset about it, and my jealousy towards other girls escalated the situation. He repeatedly told me he was done and asked me to leave when I got to his place. He insists he wasn't suggesting a breakup, but it certainly felt that way, especially since I had to clearly state that I didn't want to end things. After that night, we haven't discussed the argument much, aside from him expressing that he feels I don't care or put in enough effort. It saddens me to hear that, and I can partly understand why he feels that way. He’s been saying he loves me for a while, and I only recently found the courage to reciprocate those feelings, but then we fought, so I haven't had the chance to say it back. Since the fight, there’s been a noticeable distance between us—some days are fine, while others really highlight the gap. He believes that eventually, I'll show that I care more, but I'm worried he might no longer love me. He mentioned it once while I was crying, but that was the last affirmation I had. I feel disheartened at the thought of him falling out of love, as I know that’s usually irreversible. I’m unsure if he still loves me or if I should bring it up or just give it more time. It’s puzzling; he's not as verbally or physically affectionate as before and seems to get annoyed with me more often. I just don't know what to make of it.

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