Relationship advices: Sexual Problems and Intimacy

My girlfriend, who is 18, seems emotionally distant after we were intimate, and I’m looking for advice on how to address this.

The phrase "emotionally muted" might sound harsh and insensitive, but I couldn't find a better way to express it succinctly, so I hope you understand. I’m an 18-year-old male, and my girlfriend, also 18, and I have been together for 11 months. This is our first relationship for both of us, and we have each other’s first experiences. For about three months (after being together for eight), we were dry humping, which started accidentally while we were making out. Recently, we decided we were ready to take the next step. We had initial conversations about it while we continued dry humping, but then we talked more intensively for about a week, which probably wasn’t enough time. Eventually, we both agreed that we were “ready,” and the day came when we went through with it. Afterward, my girlfriend expressed that she felt we should have discussed it longer. This led to her feeling hesitant about it and experiencing a sense of "emptiness" afterward. It’s affected her emotionally; her willingness to engage in conversation with me or others diminishes after half an hour to an hour. She seems to force her laughter and often questions her reasons for laughing, feeling like she "still enjoys doing things with me, but it’s muted." In her words, her emotions feel muted by about 80%, making it difficult for her to genuinely enjoy our relationship. I’ve tried to express my love and offer comfort, but she often claims she doesn’t know what’s wrong, and nothing I do seems to make her happy. She reassures me that she loves me, but I can’t help but wonder if that love has turned into mere attachment. She mentioned she doesn’t know what’s causing this and that time won’t heal it, which is incredibly tough because I feel lost (though there was a slight development two days ago). Two days ago, we began apologizing to each other for being intimate. I never intended to hurt her, but with no clear solution, I suggested we take some time apart (not a break—this isn’t something we do). I thought that stepping back might give her the space she needs to understand her feelings without my constant presence distracting her from finding the underlying truth. During our conversation, she mentioned that one possible reason for her feelings might be her sadness about not having hobbies and needing happiness outside of our relationship. She also shared that she had seen videos about boyfriends becoming emotionally distant, which made her worry about signs of that in our relationship. However, these reasons are just possibilities, and she hadn’t communicated any of this to me until now, which left me without the chance to help. As we discussed it, she grew frustrated and decided to end the conversation, asking me to stop and saying goodnight. It’s been two days since, and when I checked in, she only responded with a thumbs-up, which makes me sad because she isn’t open to talking. Additionally, she turned off her location, which adds to my concern. Does anyone have insights into what might be happening with her, similar experiences, or advice on how I can help improve this situation? I don’t want to see her as an emotional shell, as it's impacting our relationship, and I’m determined not to give up on us. **TL;DR:** Does anyone have advice on how I can support my girlfriend, who seems emotionally disconnected?

My boyfriend, who is 20, occasionally loses his erection during sex, and I’m 20 as well. I want to address this with him because I don’t want him to feel embarrassed.

Hey everyone! This is my first post on Reddit, and I'm feeling a bit lost about something, so I thought I’d reach out for advice. I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and our relationship overall is wonderful. However, I've recently noticed something odd—during our morning intimacy, he sometimes loses his erection unexpectedly. What confuses me is that he's usually the one who starts things, so I assume he’s interested. Yet, at some point, he goes soft. This doesn’t seem to happen at night or during other times, just mainly in the mornings. I haven't mentioned it to him yet because I don’t want to make him feel bad, but I'm curious about what's going on. Is this a common issue? Could there be a physical reason behind it, or might it relate to stress? I'd really value any insights from those who have been through something similar or any advice on how to address this without making him feel uncomfortable. Thanks!

I (23F) am facing an issue with my boyfriend's (25M) use of pornography.

In the past, my boyfriend and I have argued about his consumption of what I consider "soft porn." I've noticed he saves pictures of girls on Instagram and later goes to their profiles for arousal. I've also caught him searching for women with extremely unrealistic body types, which is upsetting to me because these women are often highly sexualized and represent the porn industry. While I understand that masturbation is normal, I feel that his daily engagement with this material objectifies women and exacerbates harmful stereotypes, reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards. Every day, he spends time on Reddit browsing topics like “jizz to this,” “boltedontits,” and “sluts,” continuously scrolling through this soft porn content—even when I’m in the same room. I realize this might be a habit for him, but it makes me very uncomfortable. It's evident that he's fixated on these unrealistic ideals. For instance, when we’re out at a club, he often does a double take at girls who resemble typical porn stars, showing how conditioned he is to these images. Additionally, having a girlfriend but still engaging with these Reddit forums feels wrong to me. Whenever I bring this up, he gets extremely angry, making it a sensitive topic. I used to check his phone frequently but have since stopped. Recently, when I did ask to see something on his phone, I discovered the Reddit posts. Sometimes, I feel taken for granted and wish I could ask him to delete Reddit, as he can't seem to browse without getting sucked into these topics. What should I do? Am I in the wrong for feeling upset and uncomfortable about this situation?

I (26, male) and my girlfriend (22, female) had an important discussion yesterday regarding our sex life, and I'm uncertain about the next steps to take.

Hey Reddit! My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half, and generally, everything's been wonderful. However, our sex life has consistently fallen short since the beginning. I have a high libido and enjoy being adventurous, while she tends to be more reserved. Yesterday, I found myself unable to maintain an erection because I was reflecting on how much oral pleasure I give her compared to how rarely I receive it in return. Her handjobs don't really meet my needs either, as her grip is quite gentle, and despite my efforts to communicate what I enjoy, nothing seems to change. She ended up in tears because we've only had sex twice this month. I explained that this was partly due to the fact that I sometimes find the experience unenjoyable since I rarely receive oral and it feels like I’m putting in more effort than she is. She expressed that she doesn't enjoy giving blowjobs and is trying her best with her handjobs, but the situation remains frustrating. To be fair, I can easily bring her to climax without any toys, but I've never reached climax through her handjobs or the rare times she does give oral. I'm uncertain about how to move forward, especially since we just relocated to a new city together. I love her and appreciate her personality, but I can't shake off the concern that our sex life is the biggest issue in our relationship. She asked if I compare our sex life to previous relationships, and while I told her I don’t, the truth is that I do, and I feel guilty about it. I miss having fulfilling sex. Today, after she stayed over, things have felt a bit off between us.

I'm uncertain about wanting to be in a relationship right now.

I’m an 18-year-old woman in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 19, for nearly three months now. For anonymity, I’ll refer to him as "Mark." We connected through a dating app, and I believe our relationship is generally happy and healthy. However, I'm starting to question whether I want to be in a relationship at all. Mark is very sensitive, which can be challenging for me since I'm battling my own emotions and he often seeks reassurance that I’m not sure I can provide. On top of that, my sexual needs are quite significant, and I've noticed that Mark's feelings about intimacy have shifted since we began dating. I'm still young and eager to explore experiences like threesomes; in fact, I've never even kissed a woman, but I'm keen to try at least once. When we first started dating, I made my intentions clear, and he expressed interest in exploring those options. Lately, however, he’s decided against it, claiming that his feelings for me make sharing difficult. Mark is also relatively inexperienced when it comes to sex. Although he sees himself as dominant and I take on a submissive role, he often seems insecure and hesitant to explore new things. I’m realizing there are many sexual experiences that I doubt he’ll ever want or be able to provide. Putting all of this into words makes me feel guilty, as I do care for him, and I know he cares for me too. Yet I’m uncertain about how to navigate this situation and would greatly appreciate any insights or advice. I’m open to answering any questions for further clarity.

Is it crazy for me (30F) to feel like I might not want to be intimate with my husband (30M) anymore?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married for five years, and we recently welcomed our first baby a few weeks ago. It’s been quite challenging, to say the least. While I wouldn’t label it as Postpartum Depression, I've definitely had some really tough days. I’m not sure if my husband has picked up on it since he hasn't mentioned anything. My pregnancy was mostly straightforward, aside from experiencing morning sickness during the first four months. However, I struggled to come to terms with the weight gain. Although the number on the scale didn’t change drastically, my belly expanded rapidly, and it was the first time I faced such a significant change in my body, which started to take a mental toll on me. Again, I don't think my husband noticed since he didn’t say anything. The first few months post-birth were particularly rough because I was so nauseous that I could barely keep down simple foods and drinks. Intimacy with my husband felt out of reach. Once I entered my second trimester, I was eager to connect, thinking my husband was just giving me space because of my sickness. But when I brought up the topic of sex, he would dismiss it. I even tried to be direct about it and sometimes subtly hinted by wearing lingerie, which was a big deal for me since I felt large and uncomfortable in my body. But still, nothing. I kept trying, almost like a lovesick teenager, but by the third trimester, I had given up. Feeling enormous made me think he just wasn’t attracted to me, and he never contradicted that belief, which hurt. I ended up giving birth to our baby a couple of weeks early, and everything went smoothly. The doctors advised taking it easy for at least six weeks, which includes avoiding sex. Recently, I had my six-week check-up, and the doctor confirmed that I was good to go for all activities. I didn’t tell my husband about it. I had jokingly mentioned that if he didn’t touch me during my pregnancy, I wouldn’t let him touch me afterward, hoping it would motivate him, but it didn’t work. Now, my postpartum hormones are out of whack. I feel extremely petty, anxious, a bit depressed, sleep-deprived, and easily irritated. Almost anything he does— or doesn’t do— drives me crazy, and I find myself snapping at him or outright ignoring him. A part of me wants to cling to this pettiness (probably the hormones speaking), while another part longs to leap into his arms. I’m feeling torn between my emotions and my thoughts. I know that any decision I make right now is likely driven by hormonal chaos, but I wish he would recognize that this isn’t normal and that I deeply miss his touch. I'm just feeling lost.

As a 19-year-old male, I feel that my 19-year-old girlfriend might not be sexually attracted to me.

I want to start by saying how much I care for my girlfriend. We’ve been together for nearly two years, and overall, it’s been a positive experience. About seven or eight months ago, I mentioned to her that I felt she wasn’t physically attracted to me since she rarely initiates anything or shows any desire for me. This is really important to me; it’s not about the physical aspect as much as it is about the emotional connection. When she expresses her desire for me, it makes me feel valued. She assured me that she would work on it. A couple of months later, I brought it up again, and she responded by saying that I wasn’t meeting her needs, which prevented her from meeting mine. She mentioned that I hadn’t been taking her on enough dates and that I hadn’t given her enough. I understood her perspective and made an effort to improve by planning more dates and surprising her with flowers and little gifts. Despite these efforts, I didn’t see any change in her behavior. After another couple of months, I brought it up again, and she became emotional, apologizing like before and promising to work on things, but again nothing changed. Now, several months have passed without any intimate connection, which isn’t the main issue for me—it’s the lack of expression of desire that stings. I feel like I’ve made changes for her, but she hasn’t reciprocated. I can envision a future with her if things improve, but I’m unsure how much longer I can endure this situation. I’m feeling myself drift away, and it feels like my concerns haven’t had any impact. I’m looking for advice: am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? TL;DR: My girlfriend doesn’t express physical desire for me, which makes me feel unwanted. I’ve addressed it three times, but despite my efforts to change based on her feedback, she hasn’t made any changes.

Is it possible that some changes are needed? (21F and 20M)

**TL;DR:** I need to come to terms with some boundaries in my relationship that feel off but aren't necessarily unusual. I (21M) and my partner (20M) have been together for nearly two years, and our relationship is generally good—no major fights, just the usual minor disagreements. However, I've noticed that our approach to sexual activity has become a bit uncomfortable for me. I enjoy being intimate with him, but I'm not always in the mood. When I don’t feel like it, he might express that he’s feeling horny or wants to be intimate. Instead of outright saying “no,” which feels odd given our relationship, I often say things like “I’m not sure” or “I’m tired.” Sometimes he continues to push for it. While he never physically forces anything, his actions—like touching himself if I turn away—make me feel pressured to respond, which can be difficult. It’s led me to want to avoid being alone with him, not because I'm afraid of him, but because I dislike how he sometimes persuades me into something I’m not sure I want to do. I'm unsure if this is a serious issue I need to address or just something that comes with being in a relationship.

Hey girls, I need some advice—I'm starting to feel like my boyfriend isn't interested in helping me wrap things up.

Ladies, do you relate to this? When you're being close with your partner but end up satisfying yourself—do you feel any shame about it? Like you're the only one putting in the effort to reach that moment?

My girlfriend (21F) is interested in having group sex with other men, but I'm not comfortable with that. What should I do?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for seven years, and she means the world to me. I can't fathom life without her. However, during a conversation about our future yesterday, the topic of sex came up, and she unexpectedly mentioned her desire to have a threesome with another guy. Initially, I thought she was joking since she's usually quite reserved, but it became clear that she was serious. I was taken aback because years ago, we had discussed this, and she had been adamant that she would never consider it. Now, she was expressing how incredible it might feel to be "filled" by other men and even said she fantasized about being "overwhelmed" by multiple guys. She was quite drunk at the time, while I had only sipped a little, as I've never been a fan of drinking. When she fell asleep, I found myself consumed by thoughts of what she had said. The idea of my future wife being with other men while I watched filled me with sadness and anxiety, and I could barely hold back tears as I sat there, my hands shaking. The next day, I asked her if she truly meant what she had said. I tried to approach the subject in an open manner, hoping she would feel comfortable sharing her thoughts. She confessed that she wanted to explore more experiences because we’ve been together for most of our lives, and neither of us has been with anyone else. This made me question whether she was dissatisfied with our sex life. I believe I perform well; we use toys, and she certainly reaches multiple orgasms. Yet here we are. The woman I envisioned as the future mother of my children is now expressing a desire to be with other men, and that’s something I cannot accept. Just last month, I secured a well-paying job and was considering buying her an extravagant ring, but now I’m reconsidering everything. I conveyed my feelings to her, but she seemed taken aback by my reaction. When she brought up the topic again during dinner, I lost my appetite entirely. This situation is incredibly challenging for me. I don’t feel like I have anyone to confide in, so I’m turning to this forum in search of some guidance.

Any guidance would be appreciated.

My fiancé, who is 33, has lost interest in being intimate with me, and even in sharing kisses. I've noticed she spends an increasing amount of time on her phone, which has made me feel uneasy. This evening, I walked into the bathroom while she was taking a bath, and she quickly turned off what I suspect was a conversation on her phone. I sensed something was off, and after pressing her with questions, she admitted she had been watching lesbian porn to see if it aroused her. She’s also been engaging with people online and asking questions about how to determine if someone is a lesbian. I can't shake the feeling that there's more going on. She's been secretive about her phone, and when I requested to see some pictures, she hastily deleted them, claiming they were just selfies of her face, which I find hard to believe. Our relationship used to be strong, but ever since the birth of our daughter, who is now three, there have been noticeable changes in her behavior. For instance, she's recently started getting waxing, staying late at work, and even went for an unexpected walk to the store one night. She has agreed to start counseling, but I'm not sure what steps to take next. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I'm uncertain about my feelings regarding my relationship.

I'm not going to elaborate too much, but the situation I'm facing is causing me to rethink a lot of things. For starters, I've been in several unhealthy relationships—one where someone assaulted me, others where partners tried to pressure me, and I either responded with a firm "NO" or ultimately capitulated. There were also relationships where my disinterest led to pettiness or sadness from my partner when they didn't get their way. While these experiences are not all equally severe, none of them contribute to a healthy relationship, that's for sure. Currently, I'm grappling with a similar issue again. I have several health conditions and take medication that significantly impacts my sex drive. The person I'm involved with is aware of this; it’s not new information to them. We've talked about how my lack of desire isn't a reflection of my feelings for them, but they seemed to interpret it as me simply not wanting them, which is incorrect. I had hoped our conversation would help alleviate their emotional responses when sex doesn't occur, but unfortunately, that hasn't been the case. They still tend to withdraw or sulk if things don't go their way. Moreover, when we do have sex, it's usually because I initiate it. I feel like I have to take the lead every time, which makes me question my worth. If they truly desire me, why don’t they check if I'm in the mood and respond appropriately if I say yes? There's no foreplay unless I instigate it, which adds to my frustration. Additionally, there's this unspoken expectation that after we have sex, oral will follow within that day or the next. If that doesn’t happen, it triggers a return to a low mood for them. To be honest, it's all becoming overwhelming. I do so much for this person, often without being asked, just because I want to. It wasn’t always like this; at the beginning, we could go weeks without sex and things remained stable. If anyone else is experiencing similar struggles, I genuinely empathize with you.

Do I still have it?

My wife of 30 years has given me the green light to explore a side relationship, as our intimacy has dwindled. She’s open to me having a little fun on the side, but only every couple of weeks, and she wants to choose the person without meeting her or having her come to our home. She even asked what kind of woman I’m interested in (age, etc.). As a 58-year-old straight man, I’m feeling overwhelmed and a bit anxious about this new territory. It’s definitely a big change for me!

I feel deeply torn about my 4-year relationship, which has a seemingly insurmountable issue, especially with a proposal anticipated in the coming years.

I'm really struggling with this situation. My partner (29M) and I have been together for nearly four years, and while she's always excitedly showing me rings and discussing wedding venues, I can’t shake the feeling that our intimacy has significantly dwindled since the honeymoon phase. I'm aware that these phases are temporary, but I've never felt such a stark contrast before. It’s like I'm with a completely different person now. Flirting used to be a big part of our relationship—she would initiate at any chance, regardless of the circumstances. Now, though, that seems like a distant memory. Despite my efforts to communicate my feelings and concerns over the past few years, nothing has really changed for the better. The closest we come to intimacy now feels forced, mostly when she senses that something’s bothering me but isn't sure what. What makes it so challenging is that I'm still very much in love with her. We have a great connection in pretty much every other aspect of our relationship. We laugh a lot, have lived together for two years, and we resolve arguments swiftly. We respect and support each other in our personal and professional lives. In many ways, our relationship is healthy and functional. She has a demanding job that has taken a toll on her mental health, disrupting the balance that allowed her to focus on fitness and self-image. It's clear that work has changed her, and she doesn't seem like the same person I fell in love with, although I still find her incredibly beautiful. After two years of feeling this way, I'm reaching out because I can feel the negative impact this situation is having on me, and I don’t want it to tarnish what we've built together. I used to approach our relationship with selflessness, going out of my way, but lately, I’ve started feeling resentful about my efforts. I work hard to provide for us, plan surprise outings, handle household chores, and bring home little gifts. I listen and strive to be a supportive partner. I promised myself I wouldn’t fall into the typical traps that guys sometimes do, but now I feel like it's all one-sided. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking about her challenges to remind myself that it’s not all about me, but I can't help feeling used when my needs seem overlooked. I find myself frustrated when I receive attention from other women because I wish I could get that same attention from her. The thought of leaving feels like a huge mistake, but I can't keep sacrificing my mental well-being for the sake of what I thought was a perfect relationship. Or am I being unreasonable? I don’t know. TL;DR: I feel unable to ask for advice without providing important context about my situation. Sorry for the length.

I (18F) playfully slapped my boyfriend (21M) during some lighthearted moments together, and now I'm questioning what might be wrong with me.

A few hours ago, I (18F) was hanging out with my boyfriend (21M), with whom I’ve been in a relationship for two years. We were just lounging in bed, joking around and having fun. I adore his face and his cheeks, and sometimes I playfully pinch his nose or hold his face in my hands and give him a light slap, similar to what you might do with a cute little kid. However, this time I may have gone a bit overboard and slapped him a little harder than intended—not to the point of hurting him, but definitely more forceful than my usual playful slaps. He laughed it off and seemed fine, but I started to panic, worrying that I had hurt him. He reassured me that it was all in good fun and that nothing was wrong. I know he's completely in love with me, which makes me anxious that he wouldn’t tell me if I did something wrong unless it was really serious. I don’t want to come across as aggressive in our relationship, and I’m worried about being a bad person. Am I just overreacting about my own actions, or is my concern justified?

Is it a concern if my boyfriend only touches me in a certain way?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three months now. As teenagers, we're both pretty new to relationships, especially when it comes to physical intimacy. I know that three months is a short time to get physical with someone I’ve just met, but I really like him and enjoy being close with him. However, I’ve noticed that he only touches me in a sexual way. Sure, he’s touched my hair a few times, cuddled for about five minutes, and given me hugs, but they’re not the long, sincere ones I love. I’ve talked to him about this, especially since we both have strict parents and don’t meet up often. When we do see each other, I want to run up and hug him, but he often just stands there or pushes me away after a moment. He says he’s shy, which I understand, but when we get into an auto rickshaw, he immediately goes for more intimate physical stuff, even if I say no. I enjoy kissing him, but I’m not comfortable with intense make-out sessions in public. Holding hands seems to be something I have to initiate, and I wish he would be more affectionate, like patting my head or holding my face instead of forcing kisses with his tongue. Sometimes, I just want a sweet, romantic kiss. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m overreacting because he’s genuinely a nice guy—smart, funny, and handsome. He even shows vulnerability by crying in front of me, which I find really sweet. But there are times when I feel like he’s more interested in my body than in me as a person. He has put a lot of effort into our relationship, often prioritizing my desires over his own, buying me things I want. While there are many good qualities about him, this issue is weighing heavily on me. I could use some advice on how to navigate this situation. Can anyone help?

Ending a relationship with a partner who has a porn addiction.

I'm not really sure where to begin... I'm a 22-year-old woman, and my 32-year-old ex-boyfriend just ended our relationship due to his porn addiction. We were together for nearly two years, and while we fought often, we managed to stay together. The highlight of our relationship was definitely the first month — we were intimate nearly every day, and it felt amazing. He was my first boyfriend, and since I was a virgin back then, everything was exciting and new for me. However, as time went on, our sexual intimacy became less frequent. We went from being intimate once a week to once a month, and eventually, we hadn’t been intimate at all for about five months. I initially thought it was due to stress from his new job, and when I brought it up, that’s what he said too. I tried to give him space and not pressure him, but it eventually made me really frustrated. I attempted to initiate intimacy countless times, even surprising him with sexy lingerie, but he said he felt pressured by that. I tried to touch him randomly and initiate sex, but it never worked out. He’d either say we would do it later and it would never happen, or he would claim he was too tired or give other excuses. I knew he was watching porn since I’d asked him about it before, and it started to make sense to me. When I confronted him, he admitted he wasn't addicted to porn, just to masturbating, which he claimed helped relieve his stress. This didn’t add up for me — if he was too stressed to sleep with me, then why could he find the mood to masturbate? I tolerated this for months, continuing to try and initiate intimacy until I reached my breaking point. Feeling rejected made me insecure, especially as I compared myself to the women in the porn he watched. I made the decision to leave him, and we took a month-long break during which I practiced no contact. Eventually, he reached out and confessed he was addicted to porn. He shared details about his past relationships and said this habit had started when he was a teenager but he had never seen it as a problem. He didn’t know why he couldn’t stop and promised to go to therapy, block all porn sites, quit masturbation completely, and focus on us. For about a month, everything seemed to improve. He kept me updated, went to therapy twice a week, and I felt happier than ever in our relationship. I saw him making an effort, coming up with new ideas for our sex life, and genuinely desiring me. We started going on dates more often and even signed a contract to move in together. But then things took a turn again; he stopped initiating intimacy. We were both going through a stressful time, so I told him it was okay if he was struggling, but he needed to communicate with me. I checked in with him often, reassuring him, and he always promised he wouldn’t go down that path again, insisting that he wouldn’t hurt me after losing me once. However, one day, after trying to spark intimacy and failing, I snapped. I confronted him, told him I had a gut feeling he was watching porn, and asked for the truth. He admitted he had jerked off to a picture of me the day before. Ironically, on the very same day we signed the contract to move in together, I ended our relationship. While he was out walking his dog, I looked at his search history on his computer and saw evidence of him watching porn multiple times a day, even on the days he attended therapy and the day he claimed to have masturbated to my picture. It shattered me. When he returned, there was a deafening silence. I asked him about it, and he said he couldn't tell me because he thought he could overcome it on his own. He admitted he was afraid of my reaction. I became furious because he had lied to me every time I asked about it, fully aware of how significant it was for our relationship. I ended things and left. It’s been five days now, and my heart is broken. Strangely, I still hold onto hope that things could work out and that it’s not as if he cheated or did something unforgivable. We had plans for the future — moving in together, starting a family — do you think he regrets it? Do you believe he might come back? Can a person change? I really didn’t want to give up; I truly love him. He always told me he had never gone this far for any girl, and that if we broke up, he would be alone forever. Today we saw each other briefly because I needed to give him something urgent. He brought back all my things and didn’t look me in the eye. He simply told me I deserve to be happy. I apologize if my writing has mistakes, and I hope I’m not alone in this experience. If anyone has thoughts or advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you, and I hope you all have a great day.

My boyfriend doesn't appear to prioritize my pleasure.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (22F) have been dating for four months, but we were intimate for nine months prior to our relationship. I'm facing an issue: I’ve communicated clearly that I really enjoy foreplay—sometimes even more than sex itself—and I believe it's an essential part of our intimacy. However, he only engages in foreplay when I ask him to, and he often tries to skip right to intercourse without any buildup. To make matters worse, he typically lasts less than 30 seconds. I'm starting to question whether I should be reevaluating my desire to stay in this relationship just based on the sexual aspect. I'm not sure if he's experiencing low testosterone or if he genuinely doesn't care about my pleasure. I'm frustrated with feeling like I have to beg him to be attentive to my needs, and I would appreciate any advice on whether this is as significant of an issue as I'm perceiving it to be.

I'm a 19-year-old male, and my girlfriend, also 19, and I are facing some challenges in our relationship. We're looking for some advice.

I have a strong connection with my partner, but recently we've been facing some challenges, especially in our intimate life. We've been together for almost two years, and our sex life was generally fine until about two months ago. Lately, it feels like she no longer enjoys being intimate with me, even though she insists otherwise. I've noticed her body language suggests something different. Eventually, this led to us not being intimate at all. I've made an effort to communicate openly about our situation, expressing that intimacy is an important need for me and that it helps strengthen our bond. She bravely consulted a doctor, which I know wasn’t easy for her. The doctor provided her with tips and exercises to improve the situation, but she has hesitated to implement them. I've also tried to add excitement to our relationship—planning more dates, giving massages, and surprising her with her favorite coffee—hoping to rekindle some spark. When I asked her if she felt ready to be intimate again, she said, “I don’t think I am ready for sex anymore.” Hearing that was tough, but I respect her feelings. Unfortunately, it seems she has lost her libido altogether. I care for her deeply, and it’s been challenging to have my desires unmet. Are there any strategies or advice that could help us navigate this situation? We're both good communicators and truly believe we can work through this together. Any insights would be appreciated. Thank you!

Experiencing difficulties with oral intimacy.

I'm a 22-year-old man in a relationship with a 19-year-old woman. To give you some context, I'm recently out of the Marines, and my cousin's wife introduced me to her coworker. This is my first relationship and her second, and we've been together for almost five months. I lost my virginity to her, and we've been intimate several times since. Overall, things are going really well, and I feel happier than I ever have before. However, something happened tonight that got me thinking. She’s currently on her period but still wanted to engage in oral activities, something we've done before without any issues. Still, since I can't reciprocate while she's on her period, I found myself feeling a bit turned off, and we ended up just cuddling. She reassured me it was fine and not to worry, but I can't shake the feeling of guilt. If the roles were reversed and I had erectile dysfunction, I'd feel self-conscious too. I want to work through these feelings but am struggling to understand why I'm feeling this way and how to address it. I’d appreciate any advice or insights on this, as well as suggestions on how to improve the situation. The night went well overall, and I truly value our relationship. However, I don’t want to disrespect her privacy by sharing too much, even in an anonymous context. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I could really use some advice.

I'm a 23-year-old male currently in a relationship with a 23-year-old female, and we've been together for seven months. I've fallen deeply in love with her. Recently, she expressed a desire to wait until marriage to become sexually active again, despite the fact that we were sexually active for the first five months of our relationship. She has been dealing with some family issues and has mentioned that she’s been getting closer to her faith. Prior to me, she had relationships with three other guys. I know she loves me too; she’s incredibly faithful, which is important to me since I've been cheated on before, and I've made it clear that I need a partner who is completely loyal. I genuinely believe she would make a wonderful wife. However, my dilemma is that I’m unsure if I can wait until marriage for intimacy, especially since we’ve already been intimate and she's not a virgin. I also worry about my own happiness in this situation. So, I'm reaching out to see what you all think… If you were in my position, what would you do? Thank you in advance for your insights. I'm grateful for any advice you can offer.

My girlfriend told me, "I'm not interested in being intimate with you until you figure out how to approach me. Please don't ask for it."

My girlfriend told me, "I'm not interested in having sex with you until you figure out how to approach me." Hi! I'm a 22-year-old femme lesbian, and I’ve been dating my girlfriend, a 36-year-old masc lesbian, for nearly four months. Just a couple of days ago, she asked me to officially be her girlfriend, which thrilled me! But this morning, when I tried to initiate intimacy, she declined, saying, "You always just want to have sex; you need to find different ways to express your feelings." That was a bit disheartening, but I didn’t let it show and made her lunch before she left for work. Later in our conversation, I asked her how I could turn her on or approach her differently. She mentioned that she didn’t want to have to explain it to me, which really upset me. We had a similar disagreement around Christmas, where I reacted the same way when she didn’t give me a gift. At that time, she said she didn’t think it was necessary since our relationship was still new, and I felt I shouldn’t have to remind her to show her affection. For some background, I’m recently divorced from a pretty toxic marriage. I met my current girlfriend while navigating that difficult time. Although I’ve moved on, it has been challenging to let go of my past, despite the abuse I experienced. My new girlfriend and I have worked through some of this, and I’m genuinely sorry for how it all unfolded. I don’t have much experience in relationships or being intimate, so it can be a struggle for me. I try to express my affection in other ways—cooking for her, giving gifts, cleaning her place, and occasionally dressing up in lingerie or cute robes. She has also borrowed $700 from me without paying it back yet! I want to be a good partner and contribute equally, but it feels like she expects more from me, while she isn’t as proactive in planning dates or giving romantic gestures. When I bring it up, she responds with comments like, "This relationship is so new; I haven’t had a chance to" or "I just need to take my time and be patient." How can I communicate with her effectively without it leading to an argument or disagreement?

I'm a 25-year-old male, and I'm looking to enhance the social aspect of my sex life with my girlfriend, who's 26 and we've been together for six years. I want to support her in exploring her sexuality. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? Am I being unrealistic in what I'm hoping for?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for six years, and I love her more than anything. She’s the person I want to spend my life with. Up until now, we’ve had a fairly typical sexual relationship, and I’m still as attracted to her as I was when we first met. However, there’s one challenge in our relationship that’s entirely my own issue—it's not her fault at all. A bit of context: my girlfriend didn’t go through the typical adolescent phase where most explore their sexuality. She never learned to touch herself, developed fantasies, or figured out what arouses her. In contrast, I did, albeit in an unhealthy manner. I watched a lot of porn, created my own sexual fantasies, and was well aware of what I liked and didn’t like. Before her, I had a few short-term partners, but this current relationship is my first serious long-term commitment, and it is hers as well. It took us two years before she experienced her first orgasm. Initially, when I asked if she had, she thought she did, but I was determined to help her truly understand what it felt like. After three hours, she finally experienced it. Since then, I’ve been able to help her reach that point through oral sex, which I’m always happy to do. The issue I face, though, is her lack of energy in bed. We tend to stick to the same position (missionary) and routine, which becomes repetitive. I’ve suggested ways to mix things up, but she seems uncomfortable with them and quickly reverts back to our usual way. I even asked her to watch porn with me, but she was very uneasy and only half-heartedly participated. When I had an open conversation with her about this, it didn’t initially go well—she became insecure and her self-confidence took a hit. She claims to enjoy our sex life and doesn’t feel bored, but I have my doubts. At a young age, she was diagnosed with mild autistic tendencies, which were so subtle that I didn’t notice until her dad mentioned it to me after a year and a half. It seems to affect her reactions during sex; even when she says she enjoys different positions, her facial expressions betray her true feelings. She often doesn’t smile, rarely makes eye contact, and doesn’t express herself verbally—I feel like she approaches intimacy as if it's always her first time and is uncertain about her desires. I’ve been trying to share my sexual fantasies with her, but I wish she would also explore her own. Recently, I had an idea that I’m eager to discuss with her: I want us to include other people in our sex life. Now, before jumping to conclusions, hear me out. I thought about taking her to a sex club, which she has shown some openness to. It would be a place for us to observe couples together, seeing real people rather than adult film stars. Ideally, we could even meet a couple online who would be comfortable with us watching them while we engage as well. I hope that witnessing normal intimacy could help her feel less insecure and more willing to experiment with me. It’s important to me that she's aroused by more than just me. She never initiates sex or tries to seduce me; she doesn’t wear makeup or perfume, even though I find her beautiful. While she appreciates me, I miss the energy of desire and playfulness from her side. I feel her love, but not her sexual longing, which makes our connection feel somewhat PG-13. Ultimately, I want her to discover that there’s more to sex than she realizes. I’d love to help her explore her own likes and curiosities. I trust her completely and believe she wouldn’t cheat on me, just as I would never betray her. I seek her consent before introducing any new ideas—I’m not interested in an open relationship unless she shares the same sentiment. Has anyone here experienced a similar situation? Or am I being unrealistic and unfair in requesting changes in our sex life?

Why doesn't my boyfriend, who is 22, want to be intimate with me, a 21-year-old woman?

Why has my boyfriend of five years suddenly lost interest in sex? We used to be intimate about four times a week, and sometimes even twice a day. Now, it’s down to once or twice a week, and recently even just once a week. Last Tuesday, we had sex twice, and since then, nothing. He used to be the one to initiate things, but that hasn’t happened at all recently. Last Saturday, after a night out, I asked him if we could be intimate, but he claimed he was too drunk and tired. I accepted that and didn’t bring it up again. It’s now been nearly a week of hanging out together, and he still hasn’t made any moves. I don’t mean to sound boastful, but I know I’m attractive; I get attention from other men often. When we are intimate, he always comments on how great it feels and questions why we don’t do it more often, yet he seems to completely forget these moments and doesn’t want to engage more frequently. It doesn’t make sense to me. What’s going on? **TL;DR:** My boyfriend of five years has drastically reduced our sex life, despite expressing that he enjoys it. Why?

I'm a 22-year-old man in a relationship with a 21-year-old woman. We've been together for 8 months, but she recently told me that she no longer feels sexually attracted to me and that I make her feel uncomfortable. What should I do next?

My partner and I have been facing some challenges recently. On Boxing Day, she expressed that she no longer feels sexually attracted to me, and that my kisses and cuddles make her uncomfortable. She mentioned that there are certain behaviors of mine that have contributed to her feelings of attraction diminishing. One of the main issues seems to be my need to communicate more openly with her. Although we generally have good communication, she has been feeling this way for the past three weeks and only brought it up a week before my birthday. Some of her frustrations include my level of cleanliness—while my house isn't excessively messy, she feels I could do a better job, particularly in organizing my room and desk. Additionally, she feels I’m not being my true self and that I tend to go above and beyond for her, buying her gifts and fulfilling her requests, which she believes might give off the impression that I lack standards. I want to address the concerns she raised, but I'm struggling with how to process her statements about not wanting to be intimate. How do I move past feelings of rejection and discomfort on a mental level?

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