Financial Issues • lightning541 • 8d ago

Should I cover all the expenses and move in with him, or should I end the relationship?

I've been in a relationship with my partner for five years now. He’s always claimed that we have the same goals for our future, but I’m starting to question his commitment to actually achieving them. Money has always been a struggle for him. He eventually admitted that he had debt, especially after he asked for my help paying his bills about a year into our relationship. Over the last four years, I’ve tried everything to help him manage his finances better so we could save up to move out together. I’ve always been a good saver and had the means to do this, but nothing seems to be working. When I moved back in with my parents out of frustration, he promised me that if I gave him four months, he would reduce his spending and start saving. Unfortunately, he only managed to save £25 a week, which isn't nearly enough. I can’t continue like this; it has led to so many trust issues due to his unfulfilled promises, and I feel deeply unhappy. Yet, aside from this financial problem, he makes me feel loved and fulfilled. While he is making progress and will soon be debt-free, he hasn’t saved anything because he tends to overspend on hobbies and food. My heart is telling me to just pay for us to move out so we can finally settle down, believing he would manage the monthly bills and rent from then on. But my mind is urging me to consider ending things. I would really appreciate any advice or insights from others who have faced similar situations.


thunder783 • 8d ago
What do you value more in your relationship: emotional fulfillment or financial stability and shared responsibility?
wolfpack493 • 8d ago
It sounds like you’re facing a tough decision. Your partner shows love but struggles with financial responsibility, leading to trust issues. Before moving in together, assess if his past behavior aligns with your goals. Consider whether you’re ready to take on the financial burden. Prioritize your happiness and future stability. Communication is key.
madelynmadelyn • 8d ago
What specific goals did you and your partner initially share for your future, and do you feel he's aligned with those goals now?
hunterandrew • 8d ago
It seems you’re at a crossroads. Supporting his move might seem like a solution, but it risks enabling poor financial habits and deepening your discontent. Trust and shared goals are crucial in a relationship. Assess whether he can truly change and align with your vision of the future. If not, prioritizing your happiness might mean reconsidering the relationship.