Relationship advices

Financial Issues • 14d ago

My boyfriend and I are having trouble agreeing on how to divide our expenses, which is impacting our aspirations to move in together and get married. I could use some advice.

I'm a 21-year-old male, and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together since 2023—almost two years now—and we live in London. I care for him deeply, but there's something that's been on my mind, causing me to question our future together. We’re considering moving in together by the end of 2026, but we can’t seem to agree on how to share expenses. He insists on a 50/50 split, despite earning nearly double my salary and having fewer expenses (he lives close to his job, so he has no transport costs, while I would if we shared a place). I've tried to explain that a proportional division seems fairer, but he refuses to consider it. This has been a recurring issue since we started dating. I'm the one who always brings it up, yet he never initiates the conversation and often shuts it down when I try to discuss it. It feels like he's avoiding the topic, which is really frustrating for me. For me, a relationship only makes sense if we're planning for a future together, including the possibility of marriage. However, if we can't even agree on something as basic as splitting expenses, I'm uncertain about our ability to live together, which in turn makes me reconsider our marriage plans. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is it possible to resolve this, especially when one person avoids the discussion? Could this indicate a deeper misalignment in our values? I would really appreciate any advice.


Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • 14d ago

Finding ways to manage my ADHD so it doesn't negatively impact our relationship.

Hi everyone, I'm reaching out for some advice on managing a relationship where ADHD is a factor. I've been with my partner (F21) for four years, but I often find myself self-sabotaging in ways that impact both of us. While we can go months without any arguments, there are times, usually after minor disagreements, when I become overwhelmed with anxiety and tears. During these moments, I struggle to control my reactions and end up expressing a version of myself that I don't like, often feeling like I'm watching it unfold without knowing how to stop it. For example, if she occasionally feels tired and isn't in the mood for intimacy, I spiral into overthinking and panic, which makes a minor issue feel huge. This isn't something that happens often, but I can't help but treat it like a crisis. I find myself unable to sleep unless I get what I want, only to wake up and feel guilty about how I handled things the night before. Additionally, I tend to idealize weekend plans and feel crushed if she decides to spend time with a friend, especially after not seeing her for long stretches. I genuinely want to change this pattern—I know I'm a good person and a supportive partner, but I fear that my actions might make her see me differently. Does anyone have insights or strategies that could help me navigate this situation? Thank you!


Infidelity • 14d ago

What’s the best way to approach him?

Looking for guidance on how to talk to my husband as a pregnant wife. 😭 Here’s some background: About a week ago, I was cutting his hair when he received a call from a number that seemed familiar to me (though I can’t quite put my finger on why). He dismissed it, saying it was nobody important, and since he generally avoids phone calls, I decided to let it slide despite feeling uneasy. Moving ahead to last night, while he was in the shower, I had an urge to check his watch (he takes his phone with him in the shower). I noticed a text from that same familiar number, which made me think of last week. It contained two screenshots of a Messenger conversation, but the pictures were too small for me to discern much. I then looked at his call log and saw numerous entries involving that number—calls he made, calls they made, missed calls, and even blocked ones. Curious, I researched the number through Cash App and another app, which revealed a female name of someone he works with on weekends. He had mentioned her in a strange story about his shift, but I had no idea they were connected, especially since I couldn’t find anything on social media. Checking our cell usage details, I found that ever since I first noticed the number, he’s been averaging 20-30 minute conversations with her since the 20th. Two of these calls even occurred around times when he called me “just because he missed me,” which is unusual for him, and another coincided with my attempt to reach him but he said he was on the line with an "angry old customer," a situation he often encounters at work, so I didn't question it then. We had a baby appointment on Friday, and I noticed calls he missed or blocked from that day that hadn't registered with me before. It’s clear to me that she knows about me, he’s hiding something, and it feels like there’s definitely something going on. I need to confront him for my own peace of mind since I’m experiencing significant anxiety, which I know isn’t good for the baby. I’m just unsure how to approach the conversation. We already have one child, and another on the way, and I’m so scared and saddened at the thought of everything falling apart. I’m really stressing out—please, no judgment, just constructive advice.


Breakups and Divorces • 14d ago

Guidance for those who are ending a relationship.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been facing significant relationship issues, which I've mentioned in previous posts. I made the decision to end things on Monday. I was devastated, but he was inconsolable—crying, missing work, unable to eat or sleep, and bombarding me with texts for three days straight, making it difficult for me to heal. On Thursday, I chose to meet with him, and after talking things over, I agreed to give our relationship another chance. However, as we attempt to move forward, I find myself filled with fear. I feel completely numb—no pain, no joy, just emptiness. I see him putting in the effort; he's seeking therapy and participating in men's support groups, but I still don't feel any excitement or happiness about trying again. Now I'm afraid to end things another time because of how he reacted last time, and I feel stuck. This situation is seriously impacting my mental health and daily life. I really need some advice.


Financial Issues • 14d ago

Should I cover all the expenses and move in with him, or should I end the relationship?

I've been in a relationship with my partner for five years now. He’s always claimed that we have the same goals for our future, but I’m starting to question his commitment to actually achieving them. Money has always been a struggle for him. He eventually admitted that he had debt, especially after he asked for my help paying his bills about a year into our relationship. Over the last four years, I’ve tried everything to help him manage his finances better so we could save up to move out together. I’ve always been a good saver and had the means to do this, but nothing seems to be working. When I moved back in with my parents out of frustration, he promised me that if I gave him four months, he would reduce his spending and start saving. Unfortunately, he only managed to save £25 a week, which isn't nearly enough. I can’t continue like this; it has led to so many trust issues due to his unfulfilled promises, and I feel deeply unhappy. Yet, aside from this financial problem, he makes me feel loved and fulfilled. While he is making progress and will soon be debt-free, he hasn’t saved anything because he tends to overspend on hobbies and food. My heart is telling me to just pay for us to move out so we can finally settle down, believing he would manage the monthly bills and rent from then on. But my mind is urging me to consider ending things. I would really appreciate any advice or insights from others who have faced similar situations.


Parenting and Raising Children • 14d ago

Am I overthinking this? I could use some help.

My partner needs a new sofa since he's currently living in a one-bedroom place and has turned his room into a children's space. I just ordered a corner sofa bed as a surprise for him, but now I'm concerned I might upset him. Am I overthinking this? 🤔😂


Dating and Starting Relationships • 14d ago

A 24-year-old man who is still a virgin.

Hey everyone, this is my first post on Reddit, so I apologize if my writing isn't the best. To get straight to the point, I'm a 23-year-old guy who's still a virgin. I've asked a few girls out that I was interested in, but unfortunately, they've all turned me down. I'm not sure why, and it's been weighing heavily on me. I've reached a point where I can no longer brush off these feelings. I don't really have much contact with girls at all. The girls I went to school with didn't show any interest in me, and the few from other classes that I tried to ask out also rejected me. It’s not like I haven’t put in the effort; I've actually approached them, but it's always ended with a "no." I think I've faced at least ten rejections at this point, and I'm starting to worry that I'll never find someone. Do you have any insight on what might be going wrong? Is it something to do with my appearance, or did I come on too strong? I don't believe that's the case, but I'd really appreciate any advice you might have. Thank you!


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 14d ago

I (18F) playfully slapped my boyfriend (21M) during some lighthearted moments together, and now I'm questioning what might be wrong with me.

A few hours ago, I (18F) was hanging out with my boyfriend (21M), with whom I’ve been in a relationship for two years. We were just lounging in bed, joking around and having fun. I adore his face and his cheeks, and sometimes I playfully pinch his nose or hold his face in my hands and give him a light slap, similar to what you might do with a cute little kid. However, this time I may have gone a bit overboard and slapped him a little harder than intended—not to the point of hurting him, but definitely more forceful than my usual playful slaps. He laughed it off and seemed fine, but I started to panic, worrying that I had hurt him. He reassured me that it was all in good fun and that nothing was wrong. I know he's completely in love with me, which makes me anxious that he wouldn’t tell me if I did something wrong unless it was really serious. I don’t want to come across as aggressive in our relationship, and I’m worried about being a bad person. Am I just overreacting about my own actions, or is my concern justified?


Financial Issues • 14d ago

Did I choose incorrectly?

Did I prioritize money over love? I could really use a second perspective. I recently turned 35, just five months ago. The day before my birthday, I ended a relationship with the person I believed was the love of my life. The reason? He wasn't in a position to contribute financially to starting a family together. You might say I was facing a mid-life crisis. I met my partner when I was 29, and I’d expressed my desire to have kids, despite knowing he had a vasectomy. A year into our relationship, we decided to split the $8,000 cost for the reversal in Alberta. He has three children of his own—now aged 16, 18, and 20—and is ten years my senior. As a devoted single dad, he raised them by himself. He always told me how much he longed to have children with me, but he still had his own family to consider. While I have a stable career and felt financially prepared, he wasn't making the same effort on his part. We learned that the reversal hadn’t worked and were planning to pursue IVF, but the issue was that my partner didn’t have the funds for that either. So, just before I turned 35, I made the tough decision to break up with him. After three years of trying to conceive, it dawned on me that I was bearing the financial burden alone. Am I a terrible person for leaving the love of my life over money? Now, five months later, I find myself no closer to having my own family, and it truly hurts. I didn’t believe it was fair for me to shoulder the cost of IVF on my own; I wanted us to work together on this. Does that make me a bad person for prioritizing finances over love? After nearly five years of trying, I felt unsupported financially when starting my own family became a priority for me. I need advice! I still have feelings for him, but he’s yet to find the means for IVF. I know there are alternative options out there. I'm just hoping to figure out if choosing financial stability over love makes me a villain in this story. Has anyone else faced a similar crossroads?


Friendship and Relationships • 14d ago

M22 Looking for Guidance on Mixed Signals and Conflicting Behavior from F21

Hello everyone, I wanted to share something that's been on my mind. I was pursuing a friendship with a girl, F21, who initially rejected my romantic advances. After her rejection, I tried to distance myself, but she made significant efforts to maintain our friendship, which left me feeling confused. I couldn't tell if she genuinely valued our friendship or if she simply enjoyed the attention I gave her. Eventually, I chose to sever ties, but she continued to reach out. At first, I didn’t think much of it, but after several months of her attempts to reconnect, we struck up a conversation again. I dropped some hints about my feelings for her, and she seemed receptive initially. However, over time, she began to ignore or brush off those hints, which led me to question her interest. Was she no longer interested? Was she just playing hard to get? Or had I completely misinterpreted her responses? Despite my persistent hints, she continued to dismiss them. On my final attempt, she acted as if she hadn’t noticed anything at all. At that point, I decided to withdraw from the conversation: Me: I'm going to do something now Her: You don't have to tell me everything Me: Okay Her: What was that? Me: Nothing important So, what was her intention with that question? She seemed to ignore me until I stopped engaging, and then suddenly she was curious about my comments. I know there are plenty of other people out there and that I should consider moving on, but I’m genuinely interested to understand what she meant. Am I analyzing this too much, or could there be something more to it?


Family Conflicts • 14d ago

My girlfriend is saying some hurtful things about my mother.

I'm a 21-year-old male, and I've been dealing with an issue that's really been bothering me for the past few weeks. Here's the situation: my mother, who is 50, said something about my girlfriend, who is 22, and it led to a big argument. While I was running errands with my mom, she made a comment about my girlfriend's outfit not matching. I ended up arguing with her about it. When I got home, I talked to my girlfriend about what my mom said, and it made her really upset. She accused my mom of lying and said that my mom hates her, even though my mom had actually complimented her outfit when we were at my cousin's engagement party. Since then, my girlfriend and I have been bickering for weeks. Even though we've addressed the initial issue, she keeps making hurtful remarks about my mother. I've asked her to stop, but she just laughs it off and doesn't seem to take it seriously. Is this behavior acceptable? I'd appreciate any advice, and I'm open to answering any questions for clarification.


Trust and Jealousy • 14d ago

How should I bring up the issue of a potential porn addiction with my partner, "m24," especially regarding their messaging people on Discord about it?

Hi everyone, I’m a 21-year-old and my partner is 24. We've talked before about the topic of corn in our relationship. Honestly, I’m not concerned about what he does when he’s alone. However, yesterday, I caught a glimpse of his phone after he got out of the bathroom, and I saw that his Discord app was open. It looked like he was chatting with someone and discussing some pornographic material. I didn’t catch the details because he quickly turned his phone away and shut it off before I could see more. I tried to brush it off but definitely gave him a look. I don’t think he realized what I saw, and I just went to bed afterward. I went to bed around midnight, and he didn’t come to bed until almost 2 AM. I'm looking for advice on what I should do. He has a history of being in roleplay group chats, and I found one before we started dating, but he insists that he keeps things PG now. Lately, I’ve noticed he seems distant, and sometimes he hides his phone when I walk into the room, which gives off a strange vibe. He’s always been so nice, and we’ve been together for almost three years without any suspicions of cheating, but his recent behavior feels a bit off. Any advice would be appreciated!


Dating and Starting Relationships • 15d ago

Did I give him the wrong impression?

**TL;DR: I feel like I may have led him on, and I need some advice.** I (20F) was talking to a guy (20M) for about 3-4 weeks, but it ended because we saw things differently on several topics. I now feel like I may have unintentionally led him on, even though that was never my intention. He was the one who expressed interest first, so I decided to explore where it could go, and I communicated that to him. As we got more comfortable, I shared what I liked about him, but I wasn’t ready to pursue a relationship just yet since I thought it was too soon. Around week two, while we were getting cozy and cuddling, he mentioned wanting to kiss me. I wasn’t ready, as I wanted to be sure about my feelings before taking that step. He encouraged me to make the first move, wanting me to feel comfortable. However, he frequently brought up the idea of kissing and compared it to my previous talking stages. I explained that from those experiences, I learned that I didn’t want to rush into anything unless I was serious about the person. Eventually, I sensed that we weren’t on the same page, but I still held out hope that things might work out. However, he began to make me feel guilty for not having kissed him, which led me to do it just to end the conversation. Afterward, I felt uncomfortable and expressed to him that it shouldn’t have happened like that—that I felt pressured. He insisted it was never his intention to make me feel that way, but he got upset when I didn’t word things more softly, which I understand, but I wanted to be honest about my feelings. We decided to end things after one last meeting, during which he kissed me despite our previous conversation where I had said I wasn’t ready for that. That day, he asked if I ever had feelings for him, and I admitted I wasn’t sure because I wanted to take my time getting to know him. I later realized that my lack of physical attraction was holding me back, although I appreciated many of his other qualities. When I conveyed this, he seemed hurt and interpreted it as me calling him ugly, which wasn’t my intention—just that I wasn’t physically attracted to him. Now I feel guilty, thinking I might have led him on when that was never my goal, but I also recognize that he placed undue pressure on the kissing aspect. I asked him directly if he felt led on, and he said no, yet he continued to act hurt afterward. After we stopped talking, he invited me to hang out as friends, but I declined, explaining why it wouldn’t be a good idea. His reaction was to get upset, which felt quite childish to me. I don’t know what to do next. Can someone please give me some advice?


Communication Problems • 15d ago

Am I blowing things out of proportion because my boyfriend doesn’t want to attend a concert with me?

**EDIT: For Clarification** I want to express my gratitude to everyone who has taken the time to read and share their thoughts—I truly value your insights. I’d like to offer some more context to clarify my perspective and the reasons behind my post. To be clear, whether he attends the concert or not isn’t the main issue for me. I’ve already found a couple of friends who are excited to join me, and that’s perfectly fine. The real concern lies in what this situation reveals about a pattern in our relationship. It's not about forcing anyone to participate in activities they’re not interested in—it’s about feeling like the things that are important to me are not being acknowledged or valued. It seems like we can only have fun together if it involves something he enjoys. Of course, I don’t expect my partner to be enthusiastic about the same things I am, and he doesn’t have to like this artist or the music. However, I think it’s reasonable to want a relationship where we can appreciate each other's company, regardless of the activity. I want to feel that he’s willing to invest effort into the things that bring me joy. For instance, we’ve been living together for over a year, and during that time, we’ve done very few of the simple activities I’ve wanted to share—like taking our dogs for a walk together. When it comes to anything bigger, like my birthday last year, the same pattern emerged. Months in advance, I expressed my desire to go camping, and I took charge of all the planning: the timeframe, location, transportation, and budget. He initially agreed to it, similar to his response regarding the concert, but ultimately didn’t follow through or bring it up again. On my birthday, nothing happened—no camping trip, no card, no small gesture. I told him how much that hurt and suggested simple alternatives, like camping in the backyard or even just writing me a note to show he cared. Yet, he did nothing, leaving me to spend my birthday in tears, feeling guilty for having even mentioned it. In contrast, for his birthday, I spent months organizing a meaningful celebration, which included thoughtful gifts, activities he enjoys, and even preparing breakfast in bed. I don’t expect everything to be perfectly balanced, but this recurring imbalance in our efforts has left me feeling unfulfilled. This concert situation is merely one instance in a larger pattern, and it’s causing me to reflect on whether this is the relationship dynamic I want for the long haul. I hope this provides some additional clarity, and again, I truly appreciate everyone’s contributions. **End of EDIT: Original Post Below** I (24F) am a homebody who rarely goes out and have never attended a concert before. It just wasn’t something I cared about—until one of my favorite artists announced their tour. As soon as I found out, I was eager to go, despite the high ticket prices. My boyfriend (23M) isn’t a fan of this artist, so I started considering attending alone to avoid forcing him into spending money on something he wouldn’t enjoy. Then, this week, I got lucky and won tickets from a radio show! I was thrilled and hoped that maybe this would motivate him to join me since the tickets were free (we’re currently on a tight budget). When I shared the good news, he seemed genuinely happy for me and even mentioned that he’d start learning some of the songs. That made me feel hopeful, like he was willing to make an effort. But a few days later, when I tried playing a couple of songs for him, he reacted negatively, saying I couldn’t force him to like the artist and that he’d listen on his terms. That hurt my feelings—it made me doubt his initial excitement about going. I ended up expressing to him that he tends to diminish the fun when he’s not fully into an activity, which affects my enjoyment too. We talked about whether it would be best for him to attend, and he agreed without much enthusiasm. Now I’m conflicted. It’s perfectly fine if he doesn’t want to go, and I can take a friend instead. However, it pains me that he seems unwilling to participate in something that clearly means a lot to me. I’ve always envisioned a relationship where partners show effort for each other’s interests, even if they don’t personally enjoy them. I bring positive energy into the things he loves because I want to see him happy. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt that my interests are not being prioritized, and I’m beginning to question if this is the kind of relationship I want in the long run. I know it may seem trivial to let a concert provoke these feelings, but it symbolizes a deeper issue for me. Am I overreacting?


Breakups and Divorces • 15d ago

My boyfriend and I parted ways.

My boyfriend, 26M, and I, 22F, recently broke up, and I’m seeking advice on whether this message indicates he wants to reconcile: "I still love you and want to be with you. It’s difficult for me to let go, and I don’t want anyone else but you. Since the day we met, you’ve been my dream woman, and I love everything about you. The only reason I doubt that we’re meant to be together is because of the pain we've caused each other. I've remained loyal to you since I promised we would start fresh, but it hurts that you haven't shown me the same loyalty. It feels like you value me—and our family—so little by choosing others over what we had. I’m working hard every day to create a stable life for you and Kaelin, and it’s disheartening when my efforts go unappreciated. It makes it tough for me to keep pushing forward, especially since Kaelin deserves stability. But I do miss you..."


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 15d ago

Is it a concern if my boyfriend only touches me in a certain way?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for over three months now. As teenagers, we're both pretty new to relationships, especially when it comes to physical intimacy. I know that three months is a short time to get physical with someone I’ve just met, but I really like him and enjoy being close with him. However, I’ve noticed that he only touches me in a sexual way. Sure, he’s touched my hair a few times, cuddled for about five minutes, and given me hugs, but they’re not the long, sincere ones I love. I’ve talked to him about this, especially since we both have strict parents and don’t meet up often. When we do see each other, I want to run up and hug him, but he often just stands there or pushes me away after a moment. He says he’s shy, which I understand, but when we get into an auto rickshaw, he immediately goes for more intimate physical stuff, even if I say no. I enjoy kissing him, but I’m not comfortable with intense make-out sessions in public. Holding hands seems to be something I have to initiate, and I wish he would be more affectionate, like patting my head or holding my face instead of forcing kisses with his tongue. Sometimes, I just want a sweet, romantic kiss. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m overreacting because he’s genuinely a nice guy—smart, funny, and handsome. He even shows vulnerability by crying in front of me, which I find really sweet. But there are times when I feel like he’s more interested in my body than in me as a person. He has put a lot of effort into our relationship, often prioritizing my desires over his own, buying me things I want. While there are many good qualities about him, this issue is weighing heavily on me. I could use some advice on how to navigate this situation. Can anyone help?


Infidelity • 15d ago

I'm still with my boyfriend despite his infidelity, but I can't stop dwelling on it.

Five months ago, I shared a post about my boyfriend (then 21), who went out with his friends to the club and got completely plastered. He ended up making out with a random girl, whose identity I still don't know because I can't bring myself to ask him. I wasn't in the country at the time and was actually headed home the next day, so that was just wonderful for me. Despite this, I chose to stay with him because he promised he would change. Now, I find myself in need of advice. He genuinely seems to be a different person since that incident, and in the seven months that have passed, he hasn't done anything that extreme again. I can see the effort he's putting into improving, but whenever he goes out with his friends, I can't help but think about the time he cheated on me. Am I overreacting, or is my concern justified? What should I do? For some context: the betrayal felt even worse because one of his friend's girlfriends had to message me to tell me she saw him kissing someone else. It was only after I confronted him that he admitted to it, claiming he meant to tell me in person so I wouldn't panic. I'm feeling overwhelmed and don't know how to move forward.


Communication Problems • 15d ago

A 24-year-old woman and a 29-year-old man had a pretty heated argument last night, but it appears he isn’t keen on addressing the problems.

Hey, my partner and I had a pretty intense argument last night. He apologized for his behavior and seemed upset, but I haven't said much since then because I'm really hurt. It feels like he hasn’t made much effort to reach out either. Now that the whole day has gone by, he only sent me one message, and it was pretty generic. Should I reach out to him or just leave things as they are? I'm feeling confused. Do you think he actually cares, or is he just being stubborn?


Breakups and Divorces • 15d ago

My girlfriend, 26, who I've been with for over five years, wants to break up with me, 30. Any advice?

My girlfriend (26F) and I (30M) have been in a relationship for over five years, and we recently moved to a new city with our two cats. We’ve built a life together, but she now believes it's best to end things due to the toll my mental and physical health issues have taken on both of us. When we relocated, we struggled to make new friends and didn’t have family nearby, which meant it was just the two of us, all day, every day, for years. The pandemic further isolated us, and although we once thrived in our little bubble, it's ultimately affected our relationship. At one point, we developed separation anxiety when apart, and I unknowingly became codependent. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, ADHD, OCD, depression, and chronic GERD, which led to feelings of being stuck and hopeless. I didn't have access to healthcare for a long time, so I was unable to seek help for these issues until recently. I’m finally starting to take steps toward improvement by beginning therapy this week. I had hoped to try couples therapy or at least wait until I’m on medication to see if I could start to feel better and change my ways. She still cares for me, but she feels exhausted and believes our relationship has run its course. Her mother encouraged her to break up, drawing parallels to her own divorce, and my girlfriend now thinks it’s best to part ways. I understand her perspective, but it’s difficult because I finally feel like I’m moving in the right direction, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s too late. We’re still living together while we figure things out, but I can’t help but think this isn’t how it should end. Any advice would really be appreciated.


Parenting and Raising Children • 15d ago

Is it just me, or are we experiencing abuse?

My husband believes I overly coddle our children and don’t discipline them for their actions. Our oldest has Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and often responds with “no” over the smallest requests. Typically, he becomes upset, but once he calms down, he apologizes and does what I’ve asked. Our middle child struggles with ADHD and anxiety. He has trouble sleeping and is somewhat less mature for his age. My husband, a combat veteran, has been diagnosed with PTSD since leaving the military 12 years ago. He often resorts to yelling at our kids, which has made them express fear toward him. Simple incidents, like a spilled drink, can provoke his anger. I've communicated my concerns, particularly regarding our oldest son, who now prefers to avoid his dad. There have been instances where my husband has physically dragged him when he refuses to go to his room, and he has slapped him for being defiant. He believes punishment is necessary, but I feel his approach has become overly harsh. Despite my efforts to explain my perspective, my husband insists I spoil them. Today, there was a heated argument between him and our oldest. My son ran downstairs and locked himself in a room, afraid his dad might hit him. In a fit of rage, my husband kicked the door down, and I tried to intervene. No one has ever told me I baby my children except for him. He’s now threatening to quit his job and leave our family, which terrifies me, as I wouldn’t be able to support myself and the kids on my income alone. I fear losing everything. I know I’m not in the wrong, and I've urged him to seek help, but he refuses, claiming it doesn’t work. I’ve been in therapy for years due to a difficult upbringing with a narcissistic mother who struggled with substance abuse—she has since passed away. Am I mistaken? Am I the bad parent here? I feel incredibly isolated, with no family or friends in our area. Is this situation abusive?


Infidelity • 15d ago

Should I return to what I'm familiar with or begin something new?

I'm a 22-year-old woman facing a bit of a dilemma, and since I'm still young, I’d really appreciate some unbiased advice due to my past mistakes. I have an ex, a 22-year-old man, with whom I’ve shared a lot. He made some mistakes, including breaking up with me once because of our long-distance relationship, but he returned when I began to move on and showed that he had changed. We ended up living together, but during those two years, I discovered that he and my best friend, a 23-year-old woman, were exchanging explicit messages. I’m unsure if anything physical happened between them, but despite his assurances that he had changed, I continued to find evidence of his disloyalty on his phone and through his actions. We ultimately broke up about six months ago. Since then, I’ve started to move forward and met a wonderful guy, a 27-year-old man. He’s very mature and seems to have his life together; we’ve been dating for a few months and have shared many experiences together. Now, my ex is trying to re-enter my life. He hasn’t directly expressed a desire to reconcile, but I sense it. We’ve had our fair share of bad times, but also some truly great moments, and he was my best friend. Letting go of that bond is challenging for me, despite the universe seemingly pushing us apart repeatedly. The new guy is fantastic, but I find myself feeling anxious about the uncertainty of something new. I'm torn between the connection I had with my ex and the potential for a brighter future with the new guy. What should I do?


Breakups and Divorces • 15d ago

Trauma from relationships

I'm 32 and have faced a lot of challenges in my life. I've been in a relationship for 12 years, and we have a 3-year-old together. Reflecting on our time together, I think my girlfriend is struggling with PTSD due to the difficulties we've encountered in our relationship and the significant losses she's experienced, including her sister and multiple pregnancies that didn't go to term. Her perspective has shifted; her life was relatively calm until she turned 19, but since we got together, it's been filled with stress. We're on the brink of breaking up. We argue frequently, and her feelings run so deep that she's wished harm upon me—my son witnesses all of this. 😢 She refuses to seek help for her trauma, believing that removing me from her life will resolve her issues. Despite everything, I hold onto our relationship because I envision a happy family together. ❤️ I genuinely feel that being with me has contributed to her trauma. 😭 Does anyone else feel this way?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 15d ago

She told him, "You're just a friend..."

I'm a 23-year-old male and she's a 20-year-old female. We met in college, and I've had a crush on her for quite a while. Eventually, I confessed my feelings, and while she didn’t get angry, she didn’t give me a clear answer either. I kept trying to reach out, sending memes about having a crush and similar things. Today, I asked her, "Will you be my valentine?" She responded by saying, "Sorry, you're just a friend to me, and I don't want to date a friend. Don't keep your hopes up about us dating." She’s the second girl I’ve been really interested in, and my feelings for her have grown from simply liking her to genuinely loving her. Should I keep pursuing her or just let go? I'm torn between my mind, which says to move on, and my heart, which believes she’s the one for me. What should I do? Is she hinting that I should try harder?


Infidelity • 15d ago

Did I mix things up?

Last year, I (28F) was traveling when I met a local guy (25M), and we ended up dating for a month. Toward the end of that month, he mentioned he wanted to ask me to be his girlfriend. I don't think we took it too seriously, so we didn't really talk about it in depth—I honestly don't remember discussing what it meant for us. To be frank, I had no plans to return, and I didn't want to make promises. I figured we could just be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' until one of us decided to end things. He expressed that he wasn’t interested in dating anyone else, which gave me the impression that we were exclusive. He repeatedly told me he wasn’t looking at other girls either. Fast forward seven months, and I returned because things had developed into something really meaningful for me. I had started taking our relationship seriously, believing we were exclusive. It turns out that during the first two months of my travels, he didn’t realize we were exclusive at all. It was only after I got back that he understood the relationship was becoming serious, and around that time, he had stopped seeing other girls. Naturally, I was upset when I found out he had been dishonest, leading to our breakup. Recently, I was looking through old messages and was puzzled by how he could not have realized we were exclusive. I discovered a message I sent him the day I left, where I said, “It's okay if you change your mind and want to see other girls. Just let me know.” Now, I'm uncertain about what to do. I don't want to analyze his actions too much; he did what he did, and I don’t need to reflect on that. I believe he should have been honest, but I'm more focused on my feelings. At this point, our relationship is a year long, and I’m quite in love, but I can't help but feel like this qualifies as cheating. Am I overreacting? Considering the circumstances, was it a mistake for me to send that message? My intention was to express understanding that long-distance can be challenging and that it’s okay if he changed his mind. However, he interpreted it, along with his experiences with backpackers (since he worked in tourism and had seen a lot of that behavior), as an indication that our relationship was casual and open. He preferred not to discuss it further because he felt open relationships worked best for him when there were no clear expectations. TL;DR: Did sending the message “It's okay if you change your mind and go with other girls. Just let me know” create confusion about exclusivity in a travel romance?


Age Differences • 15d ago

Is it acceptable for me to be 18 and in high school while he is 25?

I (F18) have always been attracted to older, more mature guys, especially those with beards who don’t dress immaturely. Recently, I've been talking to a guy online. He’s 25 and really laid-back, sweet, and respects my boundaries. He often tells me I’m beautiful and asks for pictures of me (nothing inappropriate, thankfully). He likes to compliment me, saying how hot I am and expresses that he misses me when we’re not chatting. While he’s moving a bit fast for my liking, I can't help but feel flattered by his attention. He’s genuinely a nice guy. At times, he does get a bit suggestive, but he’s okay with the fact that I’m still in school, as long as I’m of age. He’s mentioned wanting to be my “older man” and said I’m the youngest girl he’s talked to. There's definitely an allure to our age difference. I also recognize that this might not be the best situation, particularly since it’s online. He loves taking things quickly. Recently, he mentioned wanting to visit me in New York, even though we haven’t known each other for very long. He’s made some offhand comments, like joking about my bust size, just to see how I’d react, which secretly annoys me. He tends to wake up later in the day, but he makes it a point to message me as soon as he does. I feel like I might be the person he communicates with the most. He even said he wants to be "my simp." Is this okay?