Relationship advices

Am I meant to go?

**Am I wrong for wanting to end this relationship?** I met this girl online in May 2024, and we instantly connected. However, we live in different countries; I'm in the UK, and she’s in Sweden. I’m 23, and she’s 28. Here are a few things that are troubling me: - Whenever I mention FaceTime, she either changes the subject or cuts our conversation short. We had plans to FaceTime for the first time on Wednesday, but she went silent and returned on Friday claiming her phone was stolen. This feels questionable, especially since she has an iPad and laptop but didn’t think to use those to reach out. - She told me that on Valentine’s Day, she wouldn’t be home until 21:30 because of a work party that her boss mandated she attend. This also seems suspicious to me. - In December, I pranked her by saying I’d booked a flight to Sweden to see her, and she got really upset about it. - She doesn’t use social media, which I initially thought was due to her wanting to avoid her abusive ex, who she mentioned harasses her and contacts her friends and family. - After about 3 to 4 weeks of chatting, she told me she loved me, which I found sweet at the time, but now seems odd in retrospect. - I know it was wrong, but I got suspicious about her and created fake profiles of girls who were her type to see if she would engage with them. She showed interest in the first profile but when I revealed it was me, she claimed she knew it all along, which I doubt. From that profile, I asked her if she was seeing anyone, and she said no, even though she had previously told me she saw herself as being in a relationship. The second time I contacted her under a fake profile, she mentioned she’d never date anyone under 26, yet I’m 23. When I confronted her about it, she insisted my age wasn’t an issue, but couldn’t explain her earlier comment. - I suggested we could just be friends since we enjoy each other’s company, and I thought that could provide her with the freedom to explore other relationships, but she declined that idea. - After she returned from her disappearing act, we had an argument about her alleged phone theft, and she told me not to contact her again. However, when we spoke on Sunday, she said she wanted to continue the relationship. I had voiced my understanding if she wanted to end things, as it felt like we were going in circles. I mentioned that if my leaving would make her happy, I would do it, but she insisted that wasn’t what she wanted. I genuinely enjoy our conversations and she’s become a significant part of my life, but I often feel that something isn’t right or that she’s hiding something. This uncertainty makes me want to withdraw from the relationship, but I don’t want to hurt her, especially since she’s under a lot of stress after the recent loss of her grandmother. I’m torn between being patient with her and considering whether it might be better to walk away. She seems ready for serious commitments like marriage and starting a family, whereas I’m not so sure I’m prepared for that in the near future. I’m looking for some advice. What would you do if you were in my position? Am I wrong for wanting to leave? Am I overreacting? Am I just being insecure? Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, everyone 💛

I discovered that my boyfriend was viewing incest-themed pornography.

I'm a 19-year-old female and I've recently discovered that my boyfriend, who is 21, has been watching incest porn. Initially, I found out he was watching porn, and it hurt me because, as a trans woman, I worried that he might be missing a biological connection and could cheat on me. However, he reassured me that it was trans porn, which was news to me at the time. Fast forward a month, and I realized he was still watching porn. I didn't ask about it, assuming it was still trans-related. Out of curiosity, I decided to look through his phone while he was asleep to see what he was really into. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but just as I was about to dig deeper, he turned over. He didn't notice, and I played it off smoothly. I couldn't get it off my mind all day, so I eventually asked him to show me everything. He was visibly shaken and crying when he did. What I discovered was a lot of incest porn, which left me feeling confused and uncertain. We ended up discussing his apparent porn addiction, but we didn't really address the incest aspect. Now, I'm left wondering if I should stay in this relationship.

Reflections on presents

I came across an Instagram reel featuring a girl who received a silver ring from her boyfriend, but she usually wears gold. In her post, it seems like she's expressing her dislike for the ring and implying that he doesn't really understand her taste. It makes me think that many people might overlook the thoughtfulness behind gestures in a relationship. To me, the boyfriend saw a ring with a heart and genuinely thought of her, which is a sweet sentiment. What do you all think about this?

My boyfriend deceived me and claimed it was because he felt embarrassed.

I (34F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (31M) for nearly a year. We agreed to be exclusive about two months in, and he initially assured me he was not seeing anyone else. However, a few months later, I noticed a friend of his on social media who had viewed my content on TikTok, which raised some questions for me. He denied having any sort of relationship with her, claiming they were just Facebook friends. When I reached out to her, she confirmed she didn't know him in a romantic way. He later reassured me that he hadn’t been involved with anyone else during the past few months, aside from some casual dates that had gone nowhere. A few months down the line, during a disagreement, I pressed him to be honest about that girl, voicing that something didn't sit right with me. He eventually admitted they had been friends with benefits for a few months before we met. This prompted me to contact her again to ask why she had misled me. She then provided me with screenshots of his messages from when I first inquired, where he begged her to say they didn't know each other. The texts confirmed his story: they had spent the night together after our first date but never spoke again. She also expressed curiosity about their situation in her conversations with him. Later on, he confessed, after initially trying to dodge the truth, that there had been a couple more hookups before we started dating that he felt embarrassed to share. He often gets emotional whenever I bring it up, expressing remorse. Before his confession, I had asked him about the situation several times; he claimed he was embarrassed and thought I would judge him. Even during our initial confrontation, he shed tears while lying but still only confessed after I pressed for answers. While I have no reason to believe he has cheated on me since we've been together, this situation has understandably heightened my anxiety, especially given my previous traumatic divorce due to infidelity. I'm struggling to move past it and would appreciate an outsider's perspective on how much grace I should extend in this situation. We have been using Life360 for a while, maintain frequent communication throughout the day, and he voluntarily sought counseling after all of this came to light. I also have a young child who adores him, which adds to the seriousness of our relationship as we have discussed future plans, including marriage and children. What do you think I should do?

I'd like to know if I'm mistaken.

I (M29) invited my girlfriend (F22) to dinner at my grandmother's request. Now, my girlfriend has sent me an invitation for lunch on the same day from 2 PM to 4 PM, and my grandmother's dinner starts at 4 PM. I need to pick up my girlfriend around 3:30 PM, which means she'll arrive about 30 minutes late. I'm feeling a bit frustrated because I don't understand why she would agree to lunch knowing she already had dinner plans. Plus, she doesn't eat that much.

My partner and I are facing difficulties with our career and financial choices and would appreciate any guidance on how to proceed.

My spouse and I were once both employed. While our life wasn't terrible, it fell short of our dreams and aspirations—my spouse particularly despises being an employee and has always yearned to be their own boss. Driven by our desire to immigrate, we decided to leave our jobs, but that decision has thrown us into a prolonged period of uncertainty. Nearly two years have passed without any resolution to our immigration situation, and although we are still trying, our optimism is waning. During this challenging time, my spouse unfortunately lost a large part of our savings due to gambling. I aimed to be supportive, understanding that their intentions weren't malicious—they just wished to resolve our difficulties. Later, they developed an interest in financial markets, an area that aligns with my background in economics, so I tried to encourage them. However, as you know, financial markets are inherently risky. Despite their best efforts, they continued to make mistakes, further depleting our savings. Now, we are nearly out of additional funds and facing a critical juncture. I find myself at a loss regarding what to do next. Should I keep supporting my spouse's interest in the market, given their passion and aversion to traditional employment? Or should I suggest they abandon this pursuit and return to a steady job, even if it means starting over with a modest income? And how do I approach the issue of our lost savings, which will likely take years to recover?

Do I come across as controlling?

My boyfriend (33M) and I (28F) have been together for over a year, and we just can't seem to get on the same page. He often dismisses what I say and acts like some topics don’t warrant a discussion. For instance, we had a trip planned for February 26th, but when I found out I was pregnant in mid-January, he decided he didn’t want to go and wouldn’t discuss how we could make the trip work. This trip was meant to celebrate my birthday, and we had already paid for it. It wasn’t until we nearly broke up and he had a conversation with his mother that he agreed to come. Prior to that, on another trip, he made some expensive purchases that caused me to exceed our agreed budget of $1,200. One of his purchases was a pair of pricey sneakers for his son, which he bought for no particular reason since he had already gotten him a Christmas gift. I brought up my concerns about the purchase, but his response was that it's his child to manage. Now, he’s moving in April, and I’ve been reminding him for months to start looking for places. I even shared contact information for some brokers. He keeps saying he doesn’t want to look because he doesn’t have any money saved. I told him it’s still worth reaching out so they can know what he's looking for and contact him if something suitable comes up. I feel like he’s wasting precious time by not starting the conversation. Today, we discussed the broker situation again, and when the topic came up, he got frustrated and felt that I was blaming him for our relationship issues, which I wasn’t. What I did bring up was that he isn’t applying what we’ve talked about in therapy, specifically the need for us to communicate about our decisions. It often feels like he believes his way is the only valid approach. Another example is when he had to stay home with his son for a week while the mother was absent. His employers became upset with his repeated absences. I suggested he formally request sick leave instead of calling out daily or at least inform them of his situation. He felt it wasn’t their business and thought it was better to keep calling out. Meanwhile, he was worried about losing hours due to their frustration. A relevant incident occurred just a few months into our relationship when he was living in New Jersey. I suggested he move back to New York, where his family, including his children, and I are. He declined, saying New York was too expensive, among other reasons, yet he feels lonely in New Jersey and isn’t open to finding his way back. Overall, I’m feeling like I might need to consider terminating my pregnancy, even though that’s not what I want. It’s just that our relationship feels incredibly challenging, and I don’t see us making it work. I believe that in a relationship, there should be more compromise and teamwork. It’s frustrating because I’m not insisting that my way is the best; I’m merely suggesting that he try a different approach than what he’s used to.

I'd like to do something special for my girlfriend for Valentine's Day, but we're in a long-distance relationship.

I've spent the past week contemplating what I might do, and I have to admit that I'm not very skilled at expressing intimacy, particularly in an online setting. Given our situation, sending her a gift isn't an option for me, but I’d love to do something more meaningful than just sharing words. I would really appreciate any suggestions for sweet gestures or creative ideas. Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Do you think this guy has feelings for me?

To give you some context, I'm 16 and living in the UK while he’s 17. He attended an all-boys secondary school, so he probably hasn't had many conversations with girls like that before. He’s really funny and quite loud, mainly because his friends are in our class and he's always chatting with them. We sit next to each other in one of our lessons, and initially, we would chat a little, mostly about schoolwork and other light topics. It felt like we got along well, and we would at least talk once during every lesson. However, I started developing feelings for him, which made me really shy, and as a result, I stopped initiating conversations. Since then, it seems like he hardly talks to me at all; it’s almost like I’m being ignored throughout the lesson. I can’t help but wonder if I was the one always starting the conversation, and that maybe he didn’t really want to talk to me after all. I’ve also noticed that I’ve never seen him speak to any other girls before, so maybe he’s just not comfortable talking to them? It makes me think he should take the initiative to talk to me, especially since he has friends in the class and I really don't know anyone. I’m literally the only girl in the room, which makes me even more hesitant to interact with others while he can easily talk to everyone around him. There are small things that lead me to believe he might like me, like him choosing to sit next to me instead of moving to sit with his best friend. But if that's the case, why doesn't he ever talk to me? I don't understand; he has so many opportunities, but he just doesn't take them. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

I (20, male) keep inadvertently hurting my boyfriend (18, male), and it’s creating challenges in our relationship.

Last April, we got together, and it’s been nearly 10 months since then. Our connection was instant, which led to a rapid development of our relationship. Currently, we are dealing with the challenges of being in a long-distance relationship, making it difficult for us to meet frequently. I find it hard to express my feelings. A bit of context might help: I had a turbulent past, marked by a challenging childhood, loss, and feelings of exclusion in school. My first relationship ended after just two months due to infidelity. These experiences have contributed to my complicated personality, and I recognize this. I often feel insecure and overly sensitive. I have many triggers, some of which seem trivial, like receiving dry text messages, not getting replies, or feeling jealous when he receives compliments from friends. Typically, I'm empathetic, calm, and affectionate. However, when I'm not in this state, I experience mood swings triggered by different situations. During these times, I say things I don't genuinely mean. For instance, I expressed feeling like I'm only valued when it's convenient for him, especially after he seemed distant when I sought affection. Generally, in these moments, I become demanding and expect too much, even though I'm usually content. I struggle to control this behavior; it just surfaces without warning. This past week has been particularly challenging, as I found myself reacting adversely three times in three days. He is under significant stress in his life, which I understand, yet he still did things that triggered my insecurity, leading me to complain repeatedly. Today reached a breaking point: After I voiced my complaints again, he sent me heartfelt voice messages while crying, expressing his uncertainty about how to meet my expectations and make me happy. This realization hit me hard; I recognized how I've hurt him, and I felt truly remorseful for the damage I've caused. He reassured me that he doesn't want to lose me or end our relationship. However, I had a similar struggle back in November, from which I recovered and improved, but now I find myself back in a negative spiral. So, when I expressed my desire to get better, it’s understandable that he finds it hard to fully believe me. Nonetheless, he is willing to give me another chance. During our call, I poured my heart out, apologizing and trying to reassure him, promising to change and outlining how I plan to do so. He mentioned that some issues would take time to heal, which I completely understand. My fear is that I may have diminished his feelings for me. I’m determined not to jeopardize our relationship, even though it's long-distance. I genuinely want to improve and shed this selfish, overly sensitive side of myself. I am committed to working on my personal growth, seeking psychological help, and developing better self-control. I’m seeking advice on how to move forward. What can I do to curb my mood swings and sensitivity? I want to bring happiness back to him, our relationship, and myself.

What’s the correct way to approach this?

I broke up with my girlfriend of two years last night. We both agreed that we needed some space since we were facing a lot of challenges. After months of arguments, I made the decision to end things, and we both felt it was the right choice. In a way, it felt like a happy ending. We're planning to stay friends and continue talking; we still love each other, but being friends is the best option for now. We both believe there's a chance we could get back together in the future, and I'm already thinking about asking her out again at the beginning of summer, once college is over. Although it's only been a day, and we need to focus on ourselves for now, I already miss her. Deep down, we both knew that this was the right move for us. How can I navigate this situation to make sure it works out? I really don’t want to mess it up.

I’m a 29-year-old female, and my husband, who is 30, has started wearing women’s clothing at home. Has anyone experienced something similar and can share what the future might hold?

My husband, who is 30, has been wearing women's clothes at home—such as pajamas, underwear, and bras—for the past six months. I’m 29 and have been supportive because he shared that this is something he has long wanted to explore. Whenever he stops wearing these clothes for a while, he feels like it’s something he can't shake off, and he finds less enjoyment in men’s clothing and shopping for it. As a result, he has accumulated a significant amount of women's clothing, underwear, shoes, and makeup. However, this change has affected our intimacy; I find it difficult to feel attracted to him when he’s dressed this way or speaking to me as his “bestie.” He is aware of this and has even encouraged me to explore self-pleasure instead. For context, I’m a generally attractive woman who stays fit and receives compliments often. In my previous relationships, I never faced such issues, and my sexual experiences were great. We’ve been married for three years, and I'm uncertain about where this situation might lead, especially since I've spoken with him about his sexuality. He insists that he has no attraction to men or women, but he enjoys wearing women’s clothing. This wasn’t what I expected when we got married, and I miss my husband. It’s challenging for me to be patient while he navigates this new aspect of himself. Although he has no intention of wearing these clothes in public, I still feel like I’m living with a cross-dresser who acts more like a friend than a partner. He expresses love for me, but we often refer to each other as “girl” or “bestie.” This shift began just six months ago, and he claims he never had such thoughts before. Has anyone else been through a similar experience? I could really use some insight.

I wasn't truthful at the start of my relationship, and now it seems like it might come back to haunt me.

I’m a 26-year-old male, and my girlfriend is 28. We’ve been together for six months now, and I’m utterly happy with her; I truly adore her. It didn’t take long for me to realize she might be “the one.” However, I made a significant mistake at the start of our relationship. Before we met, I had plans to attend an outdoor camping event with a female friend who had previously expressed feelings for me, which I had firmly declined as I didn’t feel the same way. We remained acquaintances, and I offered to drive her to the event since she didn’t have reliable transportation. I was clear about needing her to bring her own tent and that we wouldn’t be spending the entire time together; I was simply providing a ride and some guidance. And that’s how it played out—nothing more happened between us. In the weeks leading up to the trip, I met my girlfriend, and we made things official about a week before the event. I decided to tell her I would be going alone and didn’t mention my friend. At the time, I rationalized not telling her because I didn’t want to abandon my friend, and I feared that mentioning it might make my girlfriend jealous and break trust. I convinced myself that since I would be effectively alone, carpooling wouldn’t be an issue. I also didn’t inform my friend about my new relationship for reasons I still can’t fully understand. The trip occurred without incident, and about three weeks later, I told my friend about my girlfriend. She was happy for me, but she still believes we became official after the camping trip. Now, six months later, it’s time to make plans for this year’s event. I’ve told my girlfriend how much I enjoy it and invited her to come along. Unfortunately, my friend has also planned to attend and has already bought tickets. She even asked for the contact information for the campsite we used last year. I’ve secured our camping arrangements, and if I back out now, I might lose that spot. However, I’m more concerned about the possibility of my friend and girlfriend crossing paths and the risk of my girlfriend discovering that I wasn’t alone last year. The thought of hurting my girlfriend is unbearable. She’s one of the kindest and most wonderful people I’ve ever known, and the idea of causing her pain is gut-wrenching. I realize now how badly I’ve messed up and how misguided my justifications were. I should have been honest and upfront from the beginning. I’ve been transparent about everything else, but this secret is weighing heavily on me with shame and guilt. If you’ve read this far, I’m seeking advice. I fully acknowledge how wrong I’ve been, so where do I go from here? Should I come clean? Do I skip the event this year, even though I’ve expressed how much I enjoy it? Should I talk to my friend about this situation? Or is there something else I should consider?

Guys, what are your thoughts on this?

I'll do my best to keep this brief. I’m a newly turned 25-year-old woman who went on what I believed to be a date with a 21-year-old male coworker. While I usually prefer dating someone older, I thought it was harmless to hang out since we’ve chatted a bit at work and I found him attractive. After both leaving our jobs, he invited me to dinner on a weekend. While he never labeled it as a date, I had hoped it could be since he sought me out to spend time together. To provide some context: he arrived 20 minutes late, which didn’t leave a great impression. He admitted to checking my address only right before leaving, realizing belatedly how far away I lived. Given he had my address for over a week, I was surprised he didn’t check sooner, especially since he knew I worked far from the city. He also changed our dinner location at the last minute, which was a bit frustrating as the new spot is triggering for me, but I still went. During our outing, he frequently mentioned wanting to take me to various places, which I found exciting. Although it seemed unintentional initially, he did cover my meal and insisted on doing so. He also talked about a female coworker he’s mentioned before, praising her maturity and personality, making me question his interest in me. We had the option to split the bill through an electronic kiosk, but he chose not to. I want to clarify that even if something were to develop between us, it would likely be short-lived since he’s planning to move soon. I’ve also initiated most of our text conversations. With Valentine’s Day approaching, I decided to ask him if our hangout was a date, especially since he’d suggested we create a list of restaurants but hadn’t followed up since our outing. I reassured him that I was fine with just being friends to eliminate any confusion. He replied that he appreciated my maturity and stated he wanted to get to know me better, but as of now, he would prefer friendship, promising to let me know if that changes. While I appreciated his response, it felt like he was putting me on the back burner with the “if that changes” comment. I understand friends can pay for each other, but given that this was a one-on-one outing between a guy and a girl, and he had paid for me, I felt it implied a romantic interest—something I have only experienced when on actual dates. Can anyone help me understand what this might mean? Could he have had cold feet after all? We’ve been texting normally since then, but still.

I'm 19 and my girlfriend is 20. Her friends say I'm insecure for not wanting her to attend frat parties.

I fully trust her and know she wouldn't cheat on me, but I just feel uncomfortable with her attending frat parties. She's been to two already and is planning to go to another. Her friends insist on taking her, and she finds it hard to say no to them. I feel a bit disrespected by this, but I'm not sure if that feeling is justified. Her friends have called me insecure for not wanting her to go, but I don't think that’s the issue. I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts on this.

What's the best way to end a 7-year relationship with my partner?

My partner (37M) and I (32F) are celebrating our 7-year anniversary this week. Our first year together was strong, although we struggled with boundary-setting. We work and live together and both turned to alcohol to handle stress. We were long-time friends who started dating while recovering from difficult breakups, and we initially bonded over shared goals and values, leading me to believe we wanted the same things. By the third year (2021), I began to realize this wasn’t true. I held onto hope and tried to compromise, often at the expense of my own wants, needs, and sense of self. Whenever I brought up an issue, I was convinced I was overreacting, or he would suggest that he wasn’t “good enough” for me—something I constantly tried to refute. The usual advice became, “Just let it go and get your priorities straight.” However, over the past year, I’ve started to learn how to set and uphold my own boundaries. Now, I find myself at a crossroads. I entered this relationship full of hope and love, convinced we could build a life together, but increasingly, I feel neglected, rejected, and unheard—even when I communicate my feelings. When I attempt to express my boundaries, my words are often distorted, met with teasing, blame, or even gaslighting. I feel like a punching bag for his insecurities, and our monthly arguments have turned into a repetitive cycle without any real resolution. Despite my efforts to hope for our growth together, I’m fatigued from having to reach my breaking point just to be acknowledged. I recognize I've made mistakes in our relationship and have worked on personal growth, but it’s clear that manipulation and inconsistency have become the norm. I have tried to break up three times in the past year, only to be swayed by promises of working things out. I want to reclaim my identity and well-being without resorting to blame because I believe this situation isn’t healthy for either of us. I’m seeking advice on how to mentally prepare for the impending fallout and practical steps to exit this relationship in a way that leaves me in a better place. Any insights or shared experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Am I approaching this incorrectly?

My ex (23M) and I (21F) broke up on New Year’s Day. The first couple of weeks were incredibly tough for me; I cried a lot and kept apologizing to him. But one day I woke up and realized I needed to focus on healing from my miscarriage. My emotions were all over the place after losing the baby, but after speaking with my OB-GYN, I learned that I was experiencing postpartum stress, which I didn’t know how to cope with. On the day we broke up, I can confidently say that I pushed him away. He didn’t want to end things, but I repeatedly told him he wasn’t happy and he shouldn’t stay where he felt unfulfilled. I ended up turning my back, covering my ears, and begging him to leave my apartment. I broke down afterward but had to pull myself together because I had work. Recently, we’ve been going out together again, and we’re on friendly terms. We’ve been intimate occasionally, but I’ve set boundaries around that. Last Saturday, I got a call from him around 2 AM, but I didn’t answer since I was asleep. He left a voicemail saying “Hey baby.” I had someone else over at my place but decided to call him back an hour later after I saw the voicemail. He was clearly drunk and with a friend. When I asked what was up, he went on a long rant about how much he missed me, how he realized he loved me, and how he wished things had turned out differently with our baby. I mostly just listened, responding with “mhm” and “yeah,” while the other person I had over woke up in the middle of our conversation. I felt guilty for calling him back knowing I had someone else over, and I apologized for that, which he said he understood. On that outing, I had planned to cheer him up since he’s been dealing with a lot related to friends, family, and work. We had a good time bowling and supporting each other. However, on the way back, I decided to ask him, “Did you mean what you said on the phone?” He looked at me and responded, “I meant everything, but I don’t remember.” I didn’t say anything else during the car ride; I was just practicing my breathing exercises to stay calm. When we got back to my apartment, he wanted to sit down and talk, but I decided to take a shower instead, as I was feeling overwhelmed. Once I was out, he was sitting on my bed playing with my kitten, still wanting to talk. I told him I was really tired and asked if he was too. He knows me well enough to see through my avoidance, so he kept talking about how even if he couldn’t remember everything he said, he knew it meant something. I just stared at him until he prompted me to respond. I told him, “Whoever you have kids with next will be very lucky.” He looked at me and simply said, “I don’t want you going to bed angry, please just talk to me.” We ended up conversing, but I kept giving him one-word answers. He finally said, “I just want to feel the love we had before we get back together,” to which I laughed and lay down. We ended up being intimate, and he held me until he left for work the next morning. The day after our conversation, I told him never to call me when he’s drunk, regardless of how much he misses or loves me; I want no part in that. He mentioned he’s been drinking a lot lately, and that when I was pregnant, he felt a sense of purpose, focusing on ensuring that I and the baby were okay. But after the miscarriage and our breakup, he lost hope and only recently realized how it affected him. I understand all that, but I reminded him that he left me during my lowest point, and I can’t help him anymore—I don’t want to. I’ve moved on from the breakup and the loss, and I’m done. I told him to return my apartment key and collect his belongings. He argued it wasn’t necessary and urged me not to make a decision that could have lasting consequences. I acknowledged him and said, “I’ll hold onto your things until you get them, or I’ll drop them off at your place.” I feel like I’ve finally detached from him since that night. This is the same guy who begged me to have an abortion two years ago and again during my recent pregnancy. After much emotional turmoil, we had decided to keep the baby, but when we lost it, everything fell apart. There’s a lot more I could say, but fundamentally, I’m just tired. He mentioned that he turned down three girls, thinking that it would matter to me, to which I just said, “Okay.” Every time I think about telling him, “Whoever you have kids with next will be lucky,” I feel a strange urge to cry. I’ve done a lot of healing from my miscarriage and my abortion, but the memories still linger from time to time.

Should we consider starting a family?

We are a couple, 27F and 26M, and celebrated our first wedding anniversary last year. However, we had a significant disagreement yesterday. I have a strong desire to start a family, but my partner feels it’s too soon. He is currently unemployed and believes he should secure a stable income before considering having a baby, which is a perspective I understand. While I also recognize that it might be early, the pressure of my biological clock is quite overwhelming for me. We've been together for seven years and have had unprotected sex several times during that period, yet I've never become pregnant. Additionally, I am dealing with endometriosis, which adds to my concerns about possibly waiting too long. After our argument, he seemed very stressed about our situation. He does want a child as well, but finances are a significant worry for him. I would appreciate any advice on how to navigate this situation.

My female friend (22) sends me revealing pictures and touches me inappropriately.

My female friend occasionally sends me provocative pictures, like one where she’s wearing only a thong and in a revealing pose. Recently, we went to the gym together, and she mentioned that she only dresses that way when I’m around. She has also playfully touched my crotch several times; while I was fully clothed, it still felt very direct. This confuses me because we had always agreed on maintaining a platonic relationship. Normally, I might take such behavior as a sign of interest, but the twist is that she’s married. Now I'm unsure whether I should bring this up with her, as I might be misinterpreting her actions, but it all feels quite unusual to me.

Discovering my feelings.

The other day, I discovered that my wife has been chatting with a local guy. It started off as friendly conversation about a shared hobby, which I thought was fine, but now I'm questioning how far is too far. We have a strong level of trust, and I’ve never gone through her phone. However, one day our son accidentally opened her Instagram while using her phone, and while helping him get back to YouTube, I stumbled upon various messages, including some interactions with her selfies where this guy had used the 😍 emoji. I tried to scroll past, but one particular message caught my attention—it mentioned that she could talk to him if she needed someone different from her husband. Am I overthinking this? I’m fairly certain nothing has progressed beyond friendship, but I can’t shake off the mixed feelings I have about those messages. I don’t want to come off as an overly sensitive or jealous husband. Feeling guilty, I decided to stop reading further and joined our son for some Paw Patrol, keeping my thoughts to myself.

What type of relationship is this? I could use some advice or insights.

I'm a 23-year-old man, and my close friend, who is 22, and I share an intimate bond that resembles that of a couple, even though we are both straight. We spend nearly all our time together, often cuddling and holding hands, and we frequently have each other on our minds. Our friends often speculate that we might be in a romantic relationship. Despite this, after much reflection, we've concluded that we aren't sexually compatible, even though we sometimes wish it were different. We've talked openly about the possibility of having a sexual relationship, but each time, we find that we wouldn't enjoy it since we're only attracted to women. We both often imagine what it would be like if the other were a woman. While theoretically, one of us transitioning might address this issue, we've both come to realize through introspection that we are happiest as cis men. What does this relationship mean, and how can we navigate it? Both of us find it frustrating, and we lack resources for guidance. I'm concerned that this dynamic might be affecting our ability to connect with women. We're at a loss for how to unravel or even articulate the odd tension between us.

The boyfriend provides money to his sisters.

Hello, I’d like to hear your perspective on something. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 35, for two years. He recently encountered some legal issues and is currently unable to work. During a phone call, he expressed how eager he is to return to work so he can support his mother and sisters, who are around my age. He has one sister who is married and another who is in a relationship. When I asked him about his intentions, he explained that he often sends them money for things like nails and hair appointments or gives funds to his brother-in-law to take his sister out on dates. While he has sometimes covered some of my costs during our relationship, such as meals, he hasn't offered to help me with personal expenses like salon visits in the same way he does for his sisters, especially since his finances have been tight due to legal fees. I understand the motive behind supporting his mother, but his sisters and their partners both work. It feels a bit odd to me. He has mentioned how much he enjoys providing for them so they can treat themselves, and it bothers me that I haven’t experienced that same level of support. I get that this might come off as petty, but I can’t help but feel a bit overlooked when he mentions sending them significant amounts of money, like $200 to $500, whenever he chooses. I work as well, and while I know he cares for me deeply, I would also appreciate that type of gesture. I recognize that it's his money and he has the freedom to spend it as he sees fit. What do you think? Is this a normal dynamic, or does it seem strange? Given that his sisters are married or in relationships, shouldn’t their partners be the ones providing for them? He mentioned feeling a sense of obligation to support them because they grew up without their father and he assumed the role of "man of the house."

I find it difficult to advance 20 meters.

Hey Reddit, I’m a 20-year-old guy and my ex is 19. We were together for five years as high school sweethearts, and I genuinely thought we would end up getting married—maybe that sounds silly given our age. For some background, I relocated for work and while we tried to make long-distance work, I discovered she was chatting with a coworker. Unfortunately, it progressed beyond just talking. After some back and forth, I made the decision to cut off communication. I truly wanted to resolve things, but she admitted she was confused and uncertain about stopping her conversations with him. I’ve also said my goodbyes to her family and let them know we’ve parted ways. Now, nearly two months have passed, and I feel stuck. I constantly question my worth; I’ve cried, hit the gym, and tried new hobbies, yet I can’t shake her from my mind. I’m not keen on dating anyone new right now—I just want to figure things out on my own. What’s particularly painful is knowing she’s still in contact with him, which makes me feel even more worthless. If anyone has advice or insights, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you.

My boyfriend, who is 24, has intimate videos of his ex-girlfriends, and I'm feeling uneasy about it.

I've been seeing this guy for three months, but we started hooking up a month earlier. He’s generally pretty relaxed and even shared his password with me. He was upfront about having some old sex tapes, which caught me off guard. One night, after he stayed over, I crossed a line and ended up watching his videos for nearly two hours; they were in a hidden album. I realize this was a violation of his privacy, and I ended up confessing while we were intimate, both drunk and high. He was taken aback but didn't seem to hold it against me. Since then, I've brought up the tapes a few times, trying to gauge if he might consider deleting them. I've expressed that it makes me feel disrespected and uncomfortable, but he usually avoids the topic, responding with vague comments like "maybe." Aside from this issue with the tapes, we generally get along well, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind. I thought about suggesting he move the videos to a different device for peace of mind, but I worry that it would still linger in my thoughts anyway. I'm aware that some people might criticize me for looking at the videos or suggest that it indicates a deeper incompatibility that would warrant breaking up. However, I’m seeking advice that goes beyond those two options.

Is it time for me to move forward?

Here’s the situation. He (M, 33) and I (F, 33) have been friends for 15 years, and we've been a couple for 10 of those years. We’re best friends who share many values and interests. We enjoy having fun together while also appreciating our quiet moments. He knows nearly everything about me, and I know almost everything about him. We truly value and take pride in each other's careers. It may sound exaggerated, but we have a wonderful relationship. Here’s the challenge I’m facing. He has hesitated at every significant juncture in our relationship, and he attributes this to the potential conflict with his parents—and I believe him 99%. To clarify, he was reluctant to publicly acknowledge our relationship after a year of dating; he hesitated about moving in together, despite us alternating nights at each other's places; and now he’s dragging his feet on proposing, even though we both envision a married life together. His parents are racist and have given him considerable grief about dating outside their race, culture, and ethnicity. To complicate matters, he is in business with them and takes care of them financially, which means they communicate daily. While it would devastate their financial situation if he were cut off, they are stubborn enough to consider that. This indecision has led to insecurities on my part. It’s painful to feel as if I need to pressure him into taking the next step, even if it’s merely a title. It challenges my self-worth and frustrates me to see him avoid confrontation with his parents. For context, neither of us is particularly concerned with the legalities of marriage. We're anti-capitalist and burnt out, and the question of whether legal marriage would benefit or harm us financially is not a priority. Our emphasis has always been on celebrating our love with those we care about—most of whom are mutual friends, although I know his parents wouldn’t want to be involved. This celebration wouldn’t change our lives in any significant way other than creating another cherished memory together. I'm not worried that he’s concerned about financial stability; to put it plainly, I earn more than he does and work in a profession that’s always in demand. I’m not concerned about trust issues. I have complete faith in his character, know where he is at all times, and we frequently share our phones to keep each other updated. He shouldn’t fear financial repercussions if his parents were to “disown” him, as I could support him while he gets back on his feet without them. That said, I’m angry and embarrassed that I find myself asking him to label something that already exists. If it’s genuinely just about his parents, then he can simply choose not to tell them. I understand this is heartbreaking for him, but he can’t change them; instead, he seems to be hurting me for their sake. It feels increasingly cruel, especially since I’m upfront about my feelings. At this point, I’m indifferent to the proposal and celebration of our love, as it feels tainted. I just want a sincere apology and reassurance that I won’t have to fear what else he might hesitate to pursue for our relationship in the future.

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