Relationship advices

Am I, a 24-year-old guy, overthinking my girlfriend's comments?

I recently had an uncomfortable interaction with my girlfriend, who is 24. While I was on a work break, I called her twice in a row—something we often do. She eventually called me back after the missed calls, and I overheard her tell her friend, “Oh, let me pick up. It’s my boyfriend. He probably checked my location and thinks I’m cheating on him since I’m at this random building.” I found that comment pretty disheartening, although I understand she likely meant it as a joke. Still, I believe some topics shouldn't be taken lightly due to the impression they can create. If I were in a similar situation with friends or family, I wouldn't feel comfortable making such a joke about her, especially since her friend only met me once briefly. After hearing her comment, I expressed my feelings and asked her why she said that. She told me it wasn't a big deal and didn’t warrant such a reaction. I replied with, “Okay, buddy, I'll let you do your thing,” and hung up. Work was busy, and I wanted to avoid letting my emotions get the best of me, so I chose to step away without escalating the situation. When she called back, I declined to answer. I sent her a text that said, “You’re busy, and I’m busy, so no worries, love.” She replied, “Okay, well then I’m busy tonight too, so have a good night,” which I took as a petty jab since I know she didn’t have any plans for the evening. I also reiterated that I didn’t appreciate her joke. She responded with, “I don’t want to speak to you today. Don’t contact me.” That response was more frustrating than her initial comment. We’ve always agreed on the importance of open communication about our grievances, yet instead of engaging constructively, she brushed it off and seemed to use my annoyance as a reason to be petty. I believe she struggles more than I do with reflecting on her behavior and offering apologies. It used to be the other way around for me, but in the past few months, I’ve made a conscious effort to take responsibility for my actions, even when I don’t think they’re a big deal.

The Bfs family began to randomly bully me and make unfounded accusations.

**Background Context:** My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and his family recently moved to France, taking everyone with them. His siblings are in different high school grades: one is a senior, another is a junior, and the youngest is a freshman. Concerned for my safety and well-being in this situation, his grandmother reached out to me. She expressed her love for her grandson while also caring for me, warning that his mother is particularly protective. She indicated that if she feels I’m “taking her son away,” she might go to great lengths to keep us apart. My boyfriend ultimately decided to attend college back in the States to be with me and his friends. Recently, I spent three weeks in France with him and his family, and here’s what transpired. During my time with my boyfriend's family, I made a concerted effort to be kind and helpful. I bought his brothers nice gifts, made them breakfast, and tried to keep the house tidy. However, his 17-year-old brother constantly accused me of various things I didn’t do, treating me rudely and condescendingly—often hurling 2-3 accusations at me every day. For example, he criticized me for leaving Q-tips out, calling it “disgusting,” even though I hadn’t used them at all—only to discover that he did. He even berated my boyfriend for leaving an empty Sriracha bottle on the table for an hour, suggesting that we both “aren’t adults.” When my boyfriend left a yogurt container’s cardboard out, his brother overreacted again, despite my efforts to clean, walk the dogs, and pay for my own groceries. The situation intensified when a small receipt fell out of my bag in the car one evening. His brother quickly snapped at me to “learn how to pick up after yourself; it’s not hard.” I picked it up right away, but he continued to berate me. At dinner, he accused me of “purposefully” kicking his feet, implying I was acting childishly, even though I wasn’t even near him. Thankfully, my boyfriend stood up for me, but it was all quite surreal. Additionally, my boyfriend’s mother scolded him for defending me and demanding an apology from his brother. She insisted he shouldn’t take on a parental role, despite the fact that he was simply standing up against the unfounded accusations directed at me. It has been draining and painful to be blamed for things I haven’t done, especially when I’ve been trying my hardest to lend a hand and show respect. His brother’s comments seem deliberately provocative, and it’s incredibly frustrating. After leaving his family’s home, his father even sided with his brother, stating, “Slobs are better than if he called her a pig,” and insisted that his son owes me no apology. I find myself at a loss for what to do next; I tried discussing the issues with his mother, who dismissed my feelings, saying “no one will ever be good enough for my son” in her son's eyes. She suggested I try to be understanding, claiming his brother feels he has “lost his brother because of you,” which I suspect is the mother speaking through him. Now, I’m questioning whether to continue in this relationship. My boyfriend does his best to defend me, but his mother keeps telling me, “Don’t make him choose between you and his family.” I’m unsure if I want to navigate the guilt that comes with this situation.

I'm uncertain about my feelings regarding my relationship.

I'm not going to elaborate too much, but the situation I'm facing is causing me to rethink a lot of things. For starters, I've been in several unhealthy relationships—one where someone assaulted me, others where partners tried to pressure me, and I either responded with a firm "NO" or ultimately capitulated. There were also relationships where my disinterest led to pettiness or sadness from my partner when they didn't get their way. While these experiences are not all equally severe, none of them contribute to a healthy relationship, that's for sure. Currently, I'm grappling with a similar issue again. I have several health conditions and take medication that significantly impacts my sex drive. The person I'm involved with is aware of this; it’s not new information to them. We've talked about how my lack of desire isn't a reflection of my feelings for them, but they seemed to interpret it as me simply not wanting them, which is incorrect. I had hoped our conversation would help alleviate their emotional responses when sex doesn't occur, but unfortunately, that hasn't been the case. They still tend to withdraw or sulk if things don't go their way. Moreover, when we do have sex, it's usually because I initiate it. I feel like I have to take the lead every time, which makes me question my worth. If they truly desire me, why don’t they check if I'm in the mood and respond appropriately if I say yes? There's no foreplay unless I instigate it, which adds to my frustration. Additionally, there's this unspoken expectation that after we have sex, oral will follow within that day or the next. If that doesn’t happen, it triggers a return to a low mood for them. To be honest, it's all becoming overwhelming. I do so much for this person, often without being asked, just because I want to. It wasn’t always like this; at the beginning, we could go weeks without sex and things remained stable. If anyone else is experiencing similar struggles, I genuinely empathize with you.

Lonely Twink hopes to reconcile with his attractive girlfriend.

I'm an 18-year-old guy and I want to get back together with my ex-girlfriend, who is 19. My mom manipulated me into ending our one-year relationship, and I'm wondering if I should reach out to her. A bit of background: we started dating during our senior year of high school in the second semester. Our relationship grew deeper, and while we shared some intimate moments, we never had sex. I was genuinely in love with her, and it seemed like she felt the same. However, my mom, who has suffered brain damage from a car accident and has a pattern of emotional manipulation and abuse towards my sister and me, had unrealistic ideas about my future. She fantasizes about me marrying a “perfect” woman who fits her narrow view of beauty and family life. On the outside, I’m 6’1”, fit, and often told I’m attractive, but I struggle with short-term memory issues and self-esteem, mainly focusing on engineering and robotics. My mom has always been overly concerned with my reputation, often bragging about me in a strange way and being verbally abusive when I didn’t meet her expectations. As for my ex, she has a beautiful angular nose that reminds me of a Greek statue, but my mom dismissed her because she didn't fit her ideal of a thin, blonde woman. Despite my mom’s constant pressure to break up, I didn’t waver until a family trip to Connecticut. During the long drive, my mom relentlessly pointed out my ex’s flaws and convinced me that my relationship wouldn’t last. By the time we reached our destination, I was filled with doubt and, unfortunately, by the time we returned, I felt pressured to end things. We had a week-long camping trip planned, which was supposed to be our first real vacation together, but my mom convinced me that going while planning to break up would be unfair to my ex. This left me with only one day to break up with her, and it was an incredibly painful experience for me. Since then, I’ve been plagued by guilt and regret, realizing how much I truly love her. I initially thought it best to give her space for a month, but the pain in her eyes haunts me. Eventually, she reached out, and we started talking as friends, but I can sense her hurt, and I feel terrible about what happened. I’ve been trying to maintain a friendly demeanor, but it's daunting. I want nothing more than to get back together, but I’m unsure if she feels the same way or if she’s genuinely better off without me. It’s been three months since we broke up, and I’m at a loss for what to do next. What should I do?

Locating her!

I was in a relationship for about 5-6 years, but now she's engaged, and I've been single for the past year. Over the last few months, I've been concentrating on my studies, but lately, I've been craving someone to talk to. I'm not interested in anything casual; I just want someone who can listen and offer a fresh perspective on my thoughts. I've met a few people recently, both through Instagram and coaching, but they seem to be very outgoing and focused on material things like flashy cars and trendy cafes. I come from an affluent background in a small town, but that lifestyle doesn’t appeal to me. What I truly seek is someone who is calm, down-to-earth, and genuine—someone with whom I can have meaningful conversations and who understands me, just as I would strive to understand them. Does anyone else share these feelings?

Why am I feeling lovesick? Male, 33; Female, 24.

I've recently started getting to know this amazing girl, and we have developed strong feelings for each other and even said "I love you." However, I'm feeling some strange symptoms of lovesickness or anxiety that I can't quite grasp. I find myself longing for her, thinking about her constantly, and experiencing a lack of appetite, nausea, and trouble sleeping. It might sound obsessive, but I can't control it. This whole experience is new, and I should be feeling excited and reassured knowing she loves me, yet instead, I feel a sense of worry and anxiety.

My husband's best friend, M (25), urged him to be unfaithful to me.

I recently went through my husband's phone while searching for something specific in our messages, and I stumbled upon his conversation with his best friend. In their messages, his friend—who is in his twenties and single—was openly encouraging my husband to cheat and have fun. This friend, who is divorced and struggling with high child support, seems unhappy and wants my husband to follow the same path he did. (And yes, we do have kids together.) Although my husband made a mistake by flirting with a coworker, we addressed that issue and resolved it. However, he still maintains his friendship with this male friend, which I find incredibly frustrating. Just seeing him makes my blood boil; I feel disrespected by what he’s suggested to my husband. It's wrong for my husband to continue this friendship, especially since there's a risk his friend might encourage him to cheat again. Whenever I ask my husband why he stays friends with someone who undermines our relationship, he usually shrugs it off, apologizes, and continues being friends with him. How should I respond when he dismisses my feelings like that?

Do I still have it?

My wife of 30 years has given me the green light to explore a side relationship, as our intimacy has dwindled. She’s open to me having a little fun on the side, but only every couple of weeks, and she wants to choose the person without meeting her or having her come to our home. She even asked what kind of woman I’m interested in (age, etc.). As a 58-year-old straight man, I’m feeling overwhelmed and a bit anxious about this new territory. It’s definitely a big change for me!

Is it strange that I'm really drawn to (and maybe a little obsessed with) someone I just met?

I’m an 18-year-old female, and I've struggled to make friends my age ever since kindergarten. Even now, I find it challenging to understand my peers and connect with them, and I have no idea why. This has caused me a lot of anxiety whenever I try to build friendships, and I'm constantly worried that any relationship I form will eventually fall apart because I just don’t know how to connect with people. Recently, I met a guy online who is two years older than me and lives in a neighboring state. We had a long and meaningful conversation about our life situations and challenges. He was incredibly humble, grounded, wise, and empathetic. I’ve never felt such a strong connection with anyone before. I was genuinely surprised that he wanted to listen to my struggles with family issues instead of just ignoring me. We’ve been chatting for a few days, though not as deeply as that first conversation, and I can’t shake the fear that I might come across as annoying or that he might pull away once he realizes I’m a bit quirky. I really dislike feeling this way because he has a girlfriend, and the last thing I want is to interfere in their relationship. But I can’t help feeling a bit obsessed with the idea of not losing someone I’ve just met. It seems ridiculous, and I feel like a creep for being anxious about it. Honestly, it makes me feel down because I think I’m fixating on him—not because he’s particularly special, but because I’ve struggled to make close friends my age. When I find someone cool, I become anxious about keeping that connection. I worry that this might be unhealthy behavior, and I fear that my emotions are leading me in a bad direction. I hope that by acknowledging my anxiety and obsession, I can learn to manage them better. But this pattern has been a part of my life for so long, and I’m scared it’s something I can’t change. Any advice would be appreciated. :’(

I'm F20 and my boyfriend is M27. I would appreciate some thoughts on our relationship!

I could really use some advice. Do you think a serious relationship is possible between a 20-year-old woman and a 27-year-old man, especially since we live in different countries on separate continents? I met him seven months ago while I was in his country, and we started dating after a month of seeing each other. We had a wonderful time together, filled with dates and trips, but I had to return home three months later once my visa expired. He assured me he would come to visit, and two weeks ago, he did! We enjoyed an incredible week and a half together, but unfortunately, he had to go back to work. He’s already making plans to see me again soon. I’m currently studying at university, and his friends, family, and colleagues are all aware of our relationship. We’ve talked a lot about my potential move to his country. I can't share all the details about his feelings toward me here, but I would love to hear your thoughts on our situation.

What can I do to avoid feeling like an outsider in my boyfriend's family?

My boyfriend (23M) and I (24F) have been together for just over a year. Since we both live at home, I’ve had the opportunity to meet his parents and siblings multiple times. However, I’ve always struggled with social anxiety, which makes it hard for me to open up and truly be myself around others. His family dynamic is quite different from mine, and I’ve found it uncomfortable to fit in. They are really close, spend a lot of time together, and generally come across as a “normal” family, while my own family is more distant and has faced its share of conflicts. I’ve been making an effort to engage and be myself in order to feel like I belong, but I continue to find it challenging. The main reason I wanted to share this is because of something my boyfriend's dad said last night. After dinner, there was a typical debate among his siblings and my boyfriend about who would help with cleanup. One of his brothers questioned why my boyfriend wasn’t pitching in, and my boyfriend responded, “I have a guest.” His dad chimed in, noting that it's a general rule that someone with a guest is not obligated to help. Then the brother pressed further, asking why he had to help clean when his girlfriend was over. Their dad indicated that was different, explaining, “Because [brother’s girlfriend] is like family.” I kind of zoned out after that, but a moment later, the dad added, “Well, I suppose that applies to [my name] too.” I recognize that there was no ill intent behind his comment, but it stung nonetheless. It makes me feel even more like an outsider, and I'm unsure how to navigate this. My boyfriend encourages me to relax and be myself, but sometimes engaging feels like telling a joke that falls flat, with crickets in response. He’s also advised me not to compare myself to his brother’s girlfriend, which I’m trying to avoid. To be fair, I know his family doesn’t dislike me; they’re very kind overall. But the dad and siblings seem indifferent, at least from my perspective. Maybe I’m overreacting or just having a tough mental health week, but I want to know how I can improve the situation. I’m trying to express myself at my own pace, but I wonder if there are additional steps I can take to feel more included. Has anyone else experienced something similar with their partner’s family and figured out a way to navigate those feelings? I’d appreciate any advice on how to make this situation feel more welcoming and inclusive.

I want to connect with my boyfriend on a much deeper level.

I'm looking for suggestions on thought-provoking questions and conversations to have with my significant other. I'm a 27-year-old female and he's a 30-year-old male. Lately, I feel like I'm not asking enough meaningful questions, and our discussions often seem to stay on the surface. I want to explore questions that will encourage him to reflect deeply, perhaps ones that could lead him to share more emotional experiences. What types of questions do long-term couples ask each other to deepen their understanding, even after many years together?

My situation is a bit complicated; my male roommate, who has a girlfriend, tends to be quite the player.

1. My roommate is an average-looking guy with a girlfriend who is not attractive and exhibits narcissistic personality traits. She has taken advantage of him to the point where it’s hard for anyone to tolerate. Both are college students; my roommate shares a spacious house with me and other tenants, while his girlfriend lives in a one-bedroom apartment. We all moved in last September, and I was unaware he had a girlfriend at first. I’m considered attractive, and after moving in, he began showing interest in me. Initially, I wasn't interested, but over time, I started to warm up to him. His girlfriend insisted on spending time in our house without the landlord's consent, violating our house rules that prohibit additional residents in a bedroom. They both have an unhealthy obsession with sex, often engaging in it at all hours. He seems unable to go a few hours without sleeping with her. She is a typical narcissist with more wealth than him and owns a car, yet she never drives. Instead, she demands that he pick her up from her place twice daily to bring her to our house. She also has a flea-infested dog, which has now impacted our living space. He drops her off in the morning to care for her dog and picks her up again later, allowing the fleas to spread. Initially, my roommate only required intimacy at night, but his girlfriend incessantly called him shortly after returning home, insisting he answer her calls while driving. She frequently occupies our house for twenty hours a day while only remaining at her apartment long enough to tend to her dog. She is quite controlling, keeping him busy—he cooks multiple meals for her, sometimes late at night, and washes their sheets daily. He is very thin, while she has a bit more weight. As soon as she arrived at our house, she demanded elaborate meals instead of simple snacks. In late September, he approached me again romantically, but that was the first time I met his girlfriend, and I found myself utterly frustrated with the situation. By October, she wanted to spend the day with him, effectively moving in and saving money on food and gas as he paid for everything in their relationship, becoming her driver, cook, and housekeeper just to maintain constant physical intimacy. I eventually informed him that their living arrangement was untenable, leading to a heated argument where he showed no remorse or understanding of how his actions affected me. He even started making early morning trips to her apartment, returning only to fulfill her demands without even providing him with food. While he juggles cooking for himself and doing laundry for her between visits, I noticed her stingy nature and selfishness. Each time tensions rose between us, he directed his frustration toward me, clearly enjoying the role of being exploited. At one point, he even attempted to flirt with another tenant's girlfriend. When I suggested he move in with her to save on commuting, he flatly refused multiple times without giving a reason. I’ve never encountered anyone like him before—engaging intimately with his girlfriend while openly pursuing me. He acted as though I was oblivious to his girlfriend’s presence, but after she was kicked out, he pretended he was never interested in me. Now, we all still live together, and I’m left wondering what I should do next.

I would really appreciate any perspective you can offer. Thank you!

This month marks six years that my partner and I have been together. I'm 41, and he's 45. We moved quickly at the start of our relationship, jumping into a live-in job managing rental properties after knowing each other for only about a month. It was a wild experience, but it gave us valuable insights into how we handle stress, finances, and personal relationships during that time. Fast forward five years: my father passed away in September, just one day after he tried to initiate a discussion about how long our relationship might last. Then, just last night, while discussing a loan for a significant purchase, my partner made a remark suggesting I could take the loan with me if we were to break up. I’ve never had a strong desire for marriage, so I haven’t held any specific expectations, and I tend to live in the moment. I’ve been focusing on becoming more financially responsible and recently paid off some debt. However, I’m starting to feel a nagging curiosity that’s edging toward insecurity, and I want to address that before it becomes a bigger issue.

I'm a 20-year-old female and my boyfriend is 27. What are your thoughts on our relationship?

I’m in need of some advice. Do you believe there’s potential for something serious between a 20-year-old woman and a 27-year-old man? We live in different countries on separate continents. I met him seven months ago while visiting his country on a valid visa, and after three months of staying in touch, I had to head back home. We became a couple about a month into our dating. During my visit, we enjoyed many dates, trips, and even made plans for the future. He assured me that he would come to see me after I returned to my country. Just two weeks ago, he visited, and we had a fantastic week and a half together before he had to go back home for work. He’s already making plans for another visit soon. I’m currently studying at university, and his friends, family, and colleagues are all aware of our relationship. We’ve talked quite a bit about the possibility of me moving to his country, although I can't cover every detail here, especially regarding his feelings towards me. Overall, what’s your perspective on this situation?

What caused my unblocking?

I haven't talked to this guy in six months, and he unexpectedly texted me after unblocking me. I read the message but didn’t respond. What could this mean?

I'm unsure about how to navigate my relationship.

I've been living with my boyfriend for nearly five years, and from the start, I’ve felt more like a mother figure than a partner. I've told him how overwhelmed I am by the constant chores and the bills that seem to rest solely on my shoulders. Although I earn almost double what he does, all the financial responsibilities still fall to me. I tried asking him to take care of one bill, but when I did, my electricity was cut off due to non-payment. He claimed he forgot because “we don’t have a folder for our bills.” It feels like his free time is just that—his—but mine is devoted to managing household tasks. His money is his, while mine seems to be for household expenses too. When I brought this up, he changed his behavior for less than a month before things reverted back to the way they were. Recently, I received a Nintendo Switch as a work gift (I’m in the gaming industry), and he casually mentioned selling it to buy the new model coming out this year, but we’ve never discussed that together. I’m at a loss about what to do. My mother-in-law recently brought up the topic of marriage, and I felt like crying because I’m uncertain about the life I’m living. Yet, I love him deeply and don’t want to break up. He’s never been abusive or unkind to me, but being in my 30s makes me feel like time is running out. I'm really struggling to figure out my next steps.

Why does my boyfriend act so affectionate one moment and then become distant and harsh during arguments?

I'm really struggling to understand my boyfriend's behavior. When things are going well, he’s incredibly kind, caring, loving, and warm. However, during arguments, he transforms into someone unrecognizable—almost like a monster. He hurls insults at me, tells me to leave him alone, refuses to listen to my side, and makes me plead with him not to break up. He even threatens to cheat and hangs up on me while I'm trying to explain myself. I often find myself calling him multiple times, hoping he’ll pick up. What's causing this drastic change in him? Which side of him should I believe in? He’s been on medication for depression for the past three years and also has ADHD. His upbringing was challenging; he was raised by a single mother and his grandparents and has never met his father. He’s shared that growing up, he often felt like an emotional punching bag for his mom, which has affected their relationship, though it's slowly getting better. It’s clear he has anger issues. He often slams or bangs on the table when he loses at games or things don't go as he wants, and his table is actually broken from one of these incidents. To provide some context to our arguments, they typically start when I try to share my feelings. He becomes triggered and defensive, often dismissing my emotions, which makes me hesitant to open up. He’s 26, works full-time, and otherwise leads a normal life, but this aggressive behavior only surfaces during fights. There was one instance where a minor disagreement left me in tears while he chose to play cards with his friends, telling me I was ruining his night and asking me to go home. I even begged him, but he pushed me away. On top of all of this, we haven't had intimacy in months. He attributes it to his depression and ADHD medications. I can't help but question whether it’s normal for him to go this long without sex. I suspect he might be keeping things from me, like he could still be taking care of his needs on his own. We used to have a great and adventurous sex life, but suddenly, it’s come to a halt. Is his lack of interest due to his meds or could it signify he’s interested in someone else? Does this mean he no longer loves me? I can’t shake the feeling of insecurity, wondering if he still finds me attractive or desires me.

Tips for Navigating Long-Distance Relationships

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for two years now. Initially, everything was fantastic; we would talk every morning and night, which felt so special. However, my boyfriend recently landed a job with an American company, and he now lives in another country. He works night shifts based on New York time, so by the time I wake up, he’s already at work. As a result, our conversations have become limited to just brief messages throughout the day. I only get to talk to him for about five minutes in the afternoon during his meal break. During my night, he’s asleep—understandably so, as he works 12-hour shifts. I’m starting to feel quite lonely and am struggling with the timing differences. I often find myself trying to express everything in those quick five minutes, and it’s hard to get my thoughts across. While we do text, it can take an hour for him to respond. I realize I’ve become quite attached to him, and it’s been tough. If only he had a schedule that aligned better with the time zone here in California, things would be so much easier. Unfortunately, juggling his New York hours while I’m in California has made things really challenging. He works in logistics, and I miss him so much that sometimes I feel frustrated with him. What should I do? I'm a 19-year-old female and he's a 21-year-old male.

Is it ROCD or simply trauma?

My partner and I have been together for nearly two years. About a year ago, he was caught lying about his communication with a woman from his past. They knew each other a long time ago, but there was nothing romantic or sexual between them. They ran into each other while he was at work, and he didn’t tell me about it. Instead, he lied about seeing her and even deleted their messages on Instagram. Since then, there have been other "understandable" lies regarding his issues with erectile dysfunction, and I discovered that his Instagram search was filled with pictures of other women—he initially didn’t admit that he was looking at them for that purpose. Now, I find myself constantly questioning whether this relationship is right for me. I analyze everything he does, even minor things like him getting off work 15 minutes later than usual. He works in construction, but his office is in the same building where this woman goes to the gym, which makes me anxious about the possibility of them running into each other again each day. I feel like I can’t find any peace of mind. Is this a case of Relationship Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (ROCD) that can be resolved with him, or did he fundamentally mess things up, leading to my deteriorating mental health? I would appreciate any advice you could offer. Thank you in advance.

We both engage in verbal abuse.

I’m a 22-year-old woman, and my boyfriend, who is 23, and I have been in a long-distance relationship for five years, with the aim of eventually getting married. We’ve both come from challenging family backgrounds, and recently, our relationship faced significant strain, resulting in a breakup. We’ve both struggled with verbal abuse and certain triggers in our interactions. I’m actively working on improving myself, and when my boyfriend is calm, he’s responsive and takes accountability for the hurt he’s caused me. He’s very committed to our future and is eager to marry next year, so I can move to his city. However, I’m concerned that our unhealthy patterns might persist after marriage. Knowing that divorce can be particularly challenging for women in my culture, I’m seeking advice on how to make this relationship successful. I truly want it to work.

29-year-old female and 29-year-old male, please assist.

Hi there. I'm a 29-year-old woman, and my “ex” is a 29-year-old man. We were in a relationship for four years but recently agreed that some time apart would be beneficial. This decision was primarily his. To provide some background, we've faced challenges because I haven't been very proactive around the house, and until now, I haven't made any changes to improve my life or contribute to building our family. Unfortunately, he felt unappreciated, but he never communicated that, so I was unaware. Since our separation in November, I've been staying with my parents. We've stayed in touch almost daily, and I would even spend nights at his place when I didn’t have my daughter. I began to ask him about his feelings, and he seems torn because we've dealt with similar issues before. He acknowledges that it’s unfair, but he’s uncertain about what he wants right now, fearing that the same problems might resurface, and I share that fear. He decided we should go no contact for a while, though I'm unsure how long that will last. I feel incredibly confused, frustrated, and disappointed in myself, as all I want is to reunite when the time is right. However, I don't know how to move forward. This is the most serious relationship I've ever had, and I’ve never felt so certain about wanting to marry someone and even have a second child. He shares those desires, and yet I feel stuck. I want to clarify that he isn’t dating or considering anyone else; we've talked about this, and I trust his honesty completely. I'm just feeling lost right now. How should I proceed?

I'm a 19-year-old guy dating a 29-year-old man who is currently going through a divorce and doesn't know how to advance our relationship toward something more serious. What should I do?

Hey everyone, I've been a long-time lurker here, and I've finally decided to post because I'm looking for some help and advice. I apologize if this isn't the typical scenario for this subreddit, as I know it mainly caters to straight couples and long-term relationships. Unfortunately, my parents, who are conservative Christians, aren't really the type I can discuss these things with. So here’s the situation: I’m 19 and just started university after taking a gap year, which, looking back, may not have been the best idea. Here's the scoop: I met this guy online, and we've hung out a few times in person, going on some nice dates. However, we have to act like just friends in public. He’s 29, and I understand that could raise eyebrows. I really like him, though, and he treats me well. We’ve spent a lot of time together, and he’s never pressured me into anything sexual, which makes me feel at ease since I'm inexperienced. Our situationship is about to hit the 6-month mark, and he’s suggested a two-day getaway at a hotel or cabin, which I think sounds lovely. But I have two significant concerns that I’d appreciate your insight on: 1. **The Big Issue**: He mentioned two weeks ago that he’s married and going through a divorce. He claims he’s separated and living apart from his wife, but he’s never invited me over to his place. I’m at a loss as to how to navigate this. I really didn’t expect to deal with this complication! 2. **A More Personal Matter**: He has sent me some intimate photos, and while I’m curious to explore that side of things, I have very limited experience. I've sort of practiced on a banana (don’t judge—I had to try!), but I really want to impress him with my skills. I know he isn’t exclusive and has been honest about seeing other people, which makes me think he might worry about my abilities. I want to prove to him that I can satisfy him. I’ve lightly brought up the idea of a long-term, monogamous relationship, and he seemed open and even excited about it. However, he emphasized wanting to handle things correctly with his ex-wife first and suggested I settle into college. He said once he’s fully single, we can explore a serious relationship with future plans. Am I being naïve to believe him? 3. **General Concerns**: Do you think it’s realistic to expect him to leave his wife for me? I hate that I’m developing feelings for him, and I’m unsure if he’ll truly take that step. I want to be the kind of partner he needs right now, but I’m shy and not the most outgoing person. Still, he laughs at my jokes and genuinely cares for me. What are your thoughts? If you need any more details, feel free to ask!

My 25-year-old boyfriend didn't mention that his previous crushes would be at the same event as us, and I'm 25 too.

Hello dear Community, I’d like to share a story that has been on my mind since last week, and I’m seeking your advice on how to proceed. This situation has been emotionally taxing for both me and my boyfriend, yet I can’t seem to shake it off. **Background:** My boyfriend (25) and I (25) began dating in mid-June 2024, officially coming together in July. Our relationship has been progressing nicely, and we've started planning our long-term future together. He introduced me to his parents in September 2024, and we moved in together that same month, while I kept my own apartment as well. This isn’t my first relationship, but it is for him. I experienced deep betrayal in a previous relationship when my ex suggested an open relationship due to the challenges of long-distance—even though we could have met a couple of times a week. I ultimately chose to end that relationship because I valued loyalty and emotional support. In this relationship, we’ve also discussed our desire for children and building a family, even starting to look for an apartment together to move in by September. Everything felt wonderful until December 2024. We attended a birthday party in another city hosted by a friend of his whom he met on a trip in September 2023. I didn’t think much of it when he mentioned another person with the same name, but upon arrival, I realized it was actually a girl. She approached us while we were sitting together and remarked, "You look so sad—are you bored?" I politely replied that I wasn’t, and though she left a moment later, I didn’t feel comfortable with her directness. Later, she returned, standing uncomfortably close to us and asking how we were doing. My boyfriend responded kindly, but afterward mentioned that it seemed odd for her to leave with another male guest later that evening. I shared my discomfort with him, and while he tried to reassure me, I was still unsettled. I later discovered they were following each other on Instagram, which struck me as odd considering he had only “seen” her a few times. I asked him to unfollow her, and he complied. Things seemed to settle until mid-January when I inquired about another girl he was following. He revealed that he had a crush on her during their trip and had even tried to pursue her despite her being in a relationship at the time. She also had been invited to the same party we attended, but couldn’t attend due to distance. Their history and continued connection made me uncomfortable, especially since he hadn’t mentioned her before. He assured me that he loved me and didn’t think it was relevant. I felt betrayed by the omission, especially considering the potential impact on our relationship had she attended the gathering. I managed to address some of these concerns with him, and he removed her from Instagram and deleted their chat history. However, I learned that he had also previously attempted to date the earlier girl I mentioned before but was brushed off. The fact that both ex-crushes were at the same party without him mentioning it to me feels heavy on my heart. Now, I find myself at my office, writing this message to sort through my thoughts and seek your insights. I want to move forward but fear that my past experiences might have left me vulnerable to similar emotional wounds. I would appreciate any advice or thoughts you might have.

Why doesn't my best friend ever want to hang out?

Hello! I'm a woman in my mid-thirties and I met "John," a man in his mid-twenties, through work. We developed a strong connection over several months, and he eventually told me I’m his best friend. We communicate every day, whether through work or texting. I've tried inviting John to hang out—nothing too intense, considering he deals with anxiety—but he always declines. In fact, over the past year, he’s never come to my house, and I’ve only visited his once just to drop something off. I don’t understand why. The only times we've been able to meet up outside of work are when we attend mutual friends' gatherings, but even then, he frequently opts out. John has some quirks and personal struggles, much like I do. I don’t expect him to be available all the time, but it feels odd to think that a best friend wouldn’t want to hang out at all. I’ve directly mentioned that his behavior seems unusual, but he just brushes it off with a nonchalant "I know." He claims to value our friendship and is genuinely a kind person. So, what’s going on with him? How should I move forward? I can’t help but worry about what will happen when we can’t stay in touch through work and will only be able to communicate via text. Does anyone else experience this? Edit: I also want to mention that he often expresses feelings of loneliness, which adds to my confusion. It’s one thing to be less social, but it doesn't make sense to complain about loneliness while avoiding in-person meetings. It puzzles me how someone can be comfortable being best friends but rely solely on digital communication—something that could change in the future due to work shifts. Maybe we just have different definitions of what being a "best friend" entails.

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