Relationship advices: Breakups and Divorces

I (28F) am considering ending my relationship with my boyfriend (28M), but I'm unsure how to have a constructive conversation about the reasons behind my feelings in an effort to salvage our relationship.

**TL;DR: I'm contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend, but I'd like to have a conversation first to discuss our issues and see if we can resolve them.** My main concerns are that he requires too much of my time and attention, and his negativity is becoming overwhelming. We've touched on the first issue, but he tends to get hurt when I mention needing space. The second issue has been harder to address because I struggle with how to tell him that I'm tired of hearing about his unhappiness without coming off as insensitive, and discussions about his anger often turn into arguments about his yelling. I need help on how to communicate these topics effectively and navigate the potential end of our relationship, especially since we live together, share a lease, and have a pet. Thank you for your advice. Please understand that if I come across as cold, it's out of frustration. I've been in this relationship for three years and have lived together for two and a half. I still care about him, but moving in together may have been premature, and I'm thinking about breaking up due to feelings that have been building over time. However, I think it's only fair to talk things through before making a decision. This is my first relationship, so I'm not sure how to go about it. 1. **I need my own space.** When we first started dating, I felt differently, but by the end of the first year, I started feeling frustrated with constantly being together, and that frustration has been growing. My boyfriend doesn't leave the house much—his work hours are shorter than mine, and he’s often unemployed. Most of his activities happen online, and when he does go out, he usually wants me to come along. Our apartment is small, and his presence is always there. He also craves constant conversation. The moment I get home, he jumps up to fill me in on his day, and he communicates with me throughout the day, even if I’m busy. He wants to do everything together, from eating dinner to watching shows, and he talks a lot, which often makes tasks take longer than necessary. I rarely get a chance to express my own thoughts. I need peace and quiet, alone time, and privacy, none of which I currently have. Whenever I've tried to express this need, he feels hurt and suggests I might be trying to push him out of my life. I miss the early days of dating when we could enjoy each other's company without living together. I even proposed the idea of living apart, given our different preferences for where to stay, but he dismissed it, saying I wasn't making sacrifices for our relationship. 2. **His negativity weighs me down.** He often expresses dissatisfaction with work, money, and life in general, which affects our conversations. Although he can be persuaded to try new things, it often comes after a lot of resistance and grumpiness, and he doesn't seem to learn from those experiences. Additionally, he reacts defensively when I point out his anger or yelling. He insists he’s not yelling, even when it’s clear to me that he is. I feel frustrated that I'm unable to communicate these feelings without escalating into a confrontation. I'm nostalgic for the earlier, happier times in our relationship, and I wonder if we had taken more time to develop our bond before moving in together, we might have avoided some of these issues. Now, living together complicates matters; if we argue, there's no real escape, and if we decide to break up, what happens to our lease and our cat? Any advice on how to approach this conversation and handle the aftermath would be greatly appreciated.

What are some effective ways to move on from someone more quickly?

"I'm having difficulty getting over my last relationship, even though it's been weeks. Is there anything I can do to help these feelings fade more quickly?"

Looking for advice for myself (22F) and my boyfriend (44M).

I could really use some help! I'm not seeking opinions on the age gap—I understand that aspect already. We've been dating for quite a while, and I'm feeling conflicted about whether to continue the relationship or end it. He treats me very well, but I sometimes wonder if that's out of fear of losing me. He often shares how lucky he feels, gives me compliments, discusses our future together, and occasionally covers expenses (though I assure you, I'm not with him for his money). Lately, I’ve started to question if I'm really ready for a relationship or if I’m just bored with our current dynamic. It feels more like a friendship than a romance to me. I've had these thoughts before, and when I’ve shared them with him, it always ends the same way—I end up reminiscing about our good times and decide to stay. But I don’t want to remain together solely because of our history; I need to think about our future and whether it has potential. My mom isn’t very supportive of our relationship (which I understand), and he hasn't met anyone else in my family. I'm apprehensive about how they would react to the age difference. Meanwhile, I've met his family and friends. Given the time that's passed, I feel like if I’m serious about this relationship, he should have met my family by now. I worry about continuing in a relationship that my family won't support. On the flip side, I fear losing someone who treats me so well because I doubt I'll find that again. That brings me back to my earlier concern: is he nice to me out of genuine affection or fear of being alone again? He often mentions that I'm his last chance at love and happiness. This leaves me feeling lost. I dislike confrontation, yet I don’t want to prolong this uncertainty. Should I share my feelings with him again, risking being drawn back in? Or should I directly say that it feels more like a friendship and that I need some space? I appreciate any advice you might have! Sorry for the repetition; I'm just jotting down my thoughts as they come.

A 22-year-old man suddenly broke up with a 24-year-old woman, and now she's looking for ways to move on and find closure. How can she stop thinking about him every day?

She feels somewhat desperate and genuinely misses him; he was her first love, and their intimacy and conversations were fantastic. They also live just 30 minutes apart and occasionally work together.

schedule conflict

My boyfriend of six months unexpectedly ended our relationship, citing our incompatible schedules as the reason. He claimed he still wanted to be with me and genuinely cared for me, but we were only able to see each other every three weeks. He felt overwhelmed by work and other commitments and believed he couldn't give me the attention and love I deserved. When he initially brought up the issue, he asked for my thoughts, but during our call, it seemed he had already made up his mind. We didn’t agree on a no-contact period, but that’s how it’s turned out in the days since. I’m trying to move on, but I had strong feelings for him. Though I’m aware I shouldn’t hold onto hope, part of me can’t help but do so.

How can I move past this?

A month and a half ago, after three months together, my boyfriend suddenly told me that he no longer had any feelings for me and saw me more as a friend than a girlfriend. He even admitted that he had been pretending to be happy with me lately. He broke up with me in that moment, and just a week later, he tweeted about how happy he was and the bright future ahead of him. He mentioned wanting to date and flirt with other girls. This made me incredibly angry, so I reached out to him to express how deeply he had hurt me and told him I wished him nothing but misery. He didn’t respond directly but tweeted that people should learn to accept not being wanted and that he had succeeded in every area of his life this year, except for his love life, which he described as a "complete disaster." What do you all think? Is he being a jerk?

The husband is experiencing uncertainty.

My husband and I have been married for five months, having been together for 8.5 years. Recently, I went on a five-week vacation to visit family. Just three days before my return, he called to say he wasn't looking forward to seeing me, enjoyed his time alone, and wanted a divorce. He expressed that the thought of being with the same woman for the rest of his life frightened him, and he missed the thrill of dating. During my absence, he spent a lot of time with three single friends who often boast about their freedom, open relationships, and casual encounters. Upon my return, after a grueling 30-hour trip and feeling extremely anxious about what awaited me, he told me I was like medicine to him and that he felt much better when I was around. He claimed our relationship was fantastic and that he couldn't find anyone else with whom he had the same connection. He wrestled with choosing between the excitement of pursuing other women and remaining in a loving marriage where he feels valued. He also confessed he had only slept with five people before me and felt he had missed out on experiences. Now nearing 36, he believes he has only a few good years ahead before hitting middle age. We sought couples therapy, where the therapist noted that if his feelings of doubt predominantly arose when I was away but diminished upon my return, this could be linked to unresolved childhood traumas. He had a tumultuous upbringing with unstable marriage examples and a lack of a nurturing environment. While it seems things have returned to some semblance of normal, and we continue to discuss these issues, I feel deeply hurt and inadequate. He insists it's his struggle and that I'm amazing. He apologized for suggesting divorce and recognized he needs to confront his feelings. He often refers to himself as the "patient" in this situation. Over the past three weeks, I've struggled to feel like myself and have lost my zest for life, apart from going to the gym. I make an effort to remain upbeat around him to show that things can be okay, but I feel extremely lost. He says he's committed to therapy because he wants to work on our marriage. We're also in the process of buying a house together in four weeks. I'm seeking advice on how to cope with the overwhelming sadness and hurt. While I understand that he is grappling with his own issues, I need to find a way to move forward and set these feelings aside. Has anyone experienced something similar? Is questioning one's relationship normal? Any insights would be greatly appreciated, as I feel very stuck in my emotions. In summary: My husband is struggling with the idea of committing to the same partner for life.

Experiencing silence after a relationship

I understand that it's often recommended to move on after a relationship ends, but our breakup wasn't particularly negative. Despite this, my ex continues to ignore my attempts to reconnect. I was the one who decided to end things, but that choice came after many efforts to improve his communication, which left me with little option. He claims he doesn't see a reason to talk now that we’re no longer together. I might be holding onto false hope, but I genuinely wanted this relationship to succeed and my feelings for him remain strong. Any advice would be appreciated.

Why did he block me and become so indifferent so quickly?

A few Saturdays ago, my boyfriend unexpectedly broke up with me over FaceTime, and it completely devastated me. The following Wednesday, I drove to see him because we're in a long-distance relationship and I needed closure, especially since we'll be coworkers in April. I met up with him again that Saturday for our goodbyes, but I couldn't shake the impression that he was so indifferent. He kept insisting, "We need to do no contact so we can both move on," which felt especially confusing since he had called me his dream woman just at Christmas. I really can't fathom why he changed so drastically and became so cold. Then, on Monday, I learned that my childhood dog was being put down, and I was an emotional wreck. I needed support from him, so I reached out and broke our no-contact rule. When he didn’t respond, I called the next day to ask why he hadn’t even said, "I'm sorry for your loss." It was clear he didn’t care, and I got angry, telling him, “Don’t ever talk to me again,” especially since I desperately needed him during such a hard time. After that call, he blocked my number like I didn't matter at all, and it felt so easy for him to do that. I just don’t understand why or what he’s thinking.

The husband is unsure.

My husband and I have been married for five months and together for eight and a half years. While I was on a five-week trip to visit family, he called me three days before I returned and told me he wasn’t looking forward to my homecoming. He mentioned that he enjoyed being alone and wanted a divorce, expressing fear about being with the same woman for life and missing the thrill of dating other girls. During my absence, he had been spending a lot of time with three single friends who often brag about their freedom, casual encounters, and open relationships. When I finally arrived home after a grueling 30-hour journey, I was filled with anxiety about what to expect. To my surprise, he said he viewed me as his "medicine" and felt better when he was with me. He insisted that our relationship was wonderful and that he didn’t lack anything, claiming he would never find someone as good as me with the same connection. He expressed that he now faced a choice between the shallow pursuit of other girls, something he claims not to want, and remaining in a loving marriage where he feels valued. He also shared that he has slept with only five people in his life and feels he has missed out, noting that he was 28 when we met and is now almost 36 and worried about approaching middle age. We sought the help of a couple’s therapist, who suggested that his feelings might arise only when I’m away and then subside when I return. This likely relates to unresolved childhood traumas; he comes from a turbulent background and didn’t have strong examples of healthy marriages or a loving environment. Things have started to feel somewhat normal again, and we've been discussing this issue openly, but I still feel deeply hurt. It feels as though I'm not enough for him. He reassures me that it’s not about me, saying he is the one struggling and that I am amazing. He’s apologized for expressing a desire for divorce and acknowledged that he needs to work on his thoughts. He keeps emphasizing that he is the one who needs help. Over the past three weeks, I haven’t felt like myself and have lost my enthusiasm for life, aside from going to the gym. I attempt to maintain a cheerful demeanor around him to convey that things can be okay, but I feel very lost. My husband says he is committed to therapy because he wants to make our marriage work. To add to this, we are set to buy a house together in four weeks. How do I cope with this profound sadness and hurt? I feel betrayed by my husband, but I know I need to set aside these feelings to move forward, yet I’m not sure how. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is it common for people to question their long-term commitment in this way? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel stuck in this difficult situation. **TL;DR:** My husband is having doubts about staying with me for life.

I'm uncertain about what actions to take.

I'm 16 and this is my first serious relationship, so I'm not an expert in these matters, but I want to share what I'm going through. I've been dating this girl for 10 months, and generally, things have been good. We’ve had minor arguments, but nothing significant. However, recently, I've been grappling with the thought of ending the relationship, and it’s been growing stronger over the past month. Now, it’s all I can think about, and I feel overwhelmed. I’m unsure why I’m feeling this way, and it’s hard to manage. I know it’s not healthy to keep these feelings to myself, and I should probably talk to her about it, but I'm hesitant because I fear it might create bigger problems and could lead to a breakup. At the same time, I feel guilty for not being honest with her, especially since she’s left wondering why I’ve been distant. I'm at a loss for what to do. We spoke today, and she mentioned that I'm acting differently. I told her I love her and apologized for my behavior. Yet, it's not fair to either of us to stay in a relationship if my heart’s not really in it. I feel sick with guilt, haven't eaten much in the past few days, and I'm struggling to find a way forward. I really need some guidance. I would appreciate any honest advice on how to handle this situation. I don't want to be judged or labeled as a terrible person, even though it feels that way right now. I’m just looking for some direction. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Should I (M21) rethink my feelings about her (F21)?

To summarize, both of us entered a relationship during our school years, and it was a really positive experience. We never had any major disagreements or awkward fights. However, due to personal issues within my family, I developed a misunderstanding about our relationship and ended things after graduation. I take full responsibility for that decision. After we went to different universities, we maintained our friendship. A few days later, she expressed a desire to continue the relationship, but I turned her down, which hurt her deeply. Not long after, I regretted my decision and wanted to reconcile, but by then, she had lost hope in me. A few days later, I saw her Instagram story featuring her new boyfriend, and after that, we stopped communicating. Fast forward two years, I've mostly moved on, though I do feel guilty about not being true to our relationship. Since then, I haven't pursued any relationships because I didn't want to waste anyone's time. Yesterday, I received a message from her, and I found myself wondering "why now?" We talked, and she shared that she recently ended her relationship because she can't get over me. She mentioned how her college friends know about us and how fondly she remembers how I treated her during our time together. She admitted that getting into a new relationship was a mistake made out of anger toward me and loneliness, and she now sees that it was an impulsive decision. I'm open to dating again and enjoying our conversations, but I want to avoid making any rash choices. Should I give her another chance? Please share your thoughts on why or why not.

My boyfriend, who is 20, had to move in with me after being kicked out. He has now been allowed to return home after 8 months. Should I continue the relationship?

For context, I have a daughter who isn't his. I've genuinely loved our time living together, and it's heartbreaking that we can't be together anymore. He seems to get frustrated when I express my sadness about it, and he isn't bringing up any future plans for us to live together again.

Is this incorrect of me?

I (19M) and my girlfriend (19F) have been together for nearly a year, and our anniversary is coming up soon. However, I'm starting to feel like I don't want to continue the relationship. Her mood seems to influence everything around us. When she's unhappy, it feels like no one can be. **She spends all her time on her phone,** often doing things that seem trivial, like checking her friends' Snapchat locations or scrolling through Instagram. She insists on having my Life360 location shared all the time, and she frequently tries to instigate arguments because I don't post pictures of her on Instagram. Additionally, I've caught her going through my phone without permission on several occasions. She also doesn't have a job, and when I'm not with her, she tends to just stay in bed all day. Even when I'm at her place, we mainly just lie around doing nothing. Is it wrong for me to want more from this relationship? I want a girlfriend who’s excited to go out and do things with me, who listens to what I say, and isn’t preoccupied with social media. Things are relatively okay between us at the moment, so I feel guilty about the idea of ending things. Should I break up with her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Boyfriend (28M) Struggles with Boundaries (27F)

I'm a 27-year-old woman who recently experienced yet another breakup with my on-and-off boyfriend (28) after discovering he cheated on me—again. In response to the heartbreak, I began reaching out to other people and vented my frustrations about him to friends. When he learned about my messages, he ended the relationship, despite being the one who had been unfaithful. After a week apart, he returned and admitted he overreacted, expressing a desire to work things out. I still care for him and agreed to explore the possibility of reconciling, but I want to approach things differently this time. I made it clear that I don’t want us to slip back into old patterns right away. In past breakups, I tended to let things return to normal too quickly—like spending the night together and pretending nothing happened—without any real effort to change. So, I set a boundary: I’m open to dating and spending time together, but I don’t want to rush back into intimacy or overnight stays. (We just reconnected on Sunday). Instead of respecting my boundary, he’s pushing back against it. He outright told me that if I don’t "give in" on this issue, I shouldn’t be upset if he cheats again, implying that denying him intimacy would lead him to cheat. That statement really disturbed me. Tonight, I invited him to dinner because I still want to spend time together. At the end of the night, after walking me to my car, he asked if I was coming over. I reminded him of my boundary and declined. In response, he refused to kiss me goodnight and acted coldly towards me. Right now, I feel like he’s punishing me for wanting to take a thoughtful approach instead of rushing back into things. I don't believe I'm asking for too much—just some time and effort before we dive back in as if nothing happened. How can I maintain my boundaries while trying to rebuild trust with an ex who seems resistant to change?

Lonely Twink hopes to reconcile with his attractive girlfriend.

I'm an 18-year-old guy and I want to get back together with my ex-girlfriend, who is 19. My mom manipulated me into ending our one-year relationship, and I'm wondering if I should reach out to her. A bit of background: we started dating during our senior year of high school in the second semester. Our relationship grew deeper, and while we shared some intimate moments, we never had sex. I was genuinely in love with her, and it seemed like she felt the same. However, my mom, who has suffered brain damage from a car accident and has a pattern of emotional manipulation and abuse towards my sister and me, had unrealistic ideas about my future. She fantasizes about me marrying a “perfect” woman who fits her narrow view of beauty and family life. On the outside, I’m 6’1”, fit, and often told I’m attractive, but I struggle with short-term memory issues and self-esteem, mainly focusing on engineering and robotics. My mom has always been overly concerned with my reputation, often bragging about me in a strange way and being verbally abusive when I didn’t meet her expectations. As for my ex, she has a beautiful angular nose that reminds me of a Greek statue, but my mom dismissed her because she didn't fit her ideal of a thin, blonde woman. Despite my mom’s constant pressure to break up, I didn’t waver until a family trip to Connecticut. During the long drive, my mom relentlessly pointed out my ex’s flaws and convinced me that my relationship wouldn’t last. By the time we reached our destination, I was filled with doubt and, unfortunately, by the time we returned, I felt pressured to end things. We had a week-long camping trip planned, which was supposed to be our first real vacation together, but my mom convinced me that going while planning to break up would be unfair to my ex. This left me with only one day to break up with her, and it was an incredibly painful experience for me. Since then, I’ve been plagued by guilt and regret, realizing how much I truly love her. I initially thought it best to give her space for a month, but the pain in her eyes haunts me. Eventually, she reached out, and we started talking as friends, but I can sense her hurt, and I feel terrible about what happened. I’ve been trying to maintain a friendly demeanor, but it's daunting. I want nothing more than to get back together, but I’m unsure if she feels the same way or if she’s genuinely better off without me. It’s been three months since we broke up, and I’m at a loss for what to do next. What should I do?

29-year-old female and 29-year-old male, please assist.

Hi there. I'm a 29-year-old woman, and my “ex” is a 29-year-old man. We were in a relationship for four years but recently agreed that some time apart would be beneficial. This decision was primarily his. To provide some background, we've faced challenges because I haven't been very proactive around the house, and until now, I haven't made any changes to improve my life or contribute to building our family. Unfortunately, he felt unappreciated, but he never communicated that, so I was unaware. Since our separation in November, I've been staying with my parents. We've stayed in touch almost daily, and I would even spend nights at his place when I didn’t have my daughter. I began to ask him about his feelings, and he seems torn because we've dealt with similar issues before. He acknowledges that it’s unfair, but he’s uncertain about what he wants right now, fearing that the same problems might resurface, and I share that fear. He decided we should go no contact for a while, though I'm unsure how long that will last. I feel incredibly confused, frustrated, and disappointed in myself, as all I want is to reunite when the time is right. However, I don't know how to move forward. This is the most serious relationship I've ever had, and I’ve never felt so certain about wanting to marry someone and even have a second child. He shares those desires, and yet I feel stuck. I want to clarify that he isn’t dating or considering anyone else; we've talked about this, and I trust his honesty completely. I'm just feeling lost right now. How should I proceed?

I found my boyfriend chatting and flirting with girls on Instagram.

I ended my relationship with my boyfriend two weeks ago, and right now, I'm feeling really lost. We had a fantastic nine-month relationship; he’s 26, and I’m 24. We were compatible in so many ways, and I genuinely wanted to build a future with him. I loved him deeply and supported him a lot—financially, too, since I run my own business while he’s still in school. I even covered the costs for all our dates. However, things took a turn when I caught him lying to me, and I made it clear that I couldn’t accept that. I pride myself on being honest in both my personal and professional life, and I expected the same from him. Unfortunately, I discovered that he had been texting other girls on Instagram and WhatsApp, complimenting their looks and expressing concern when they didn’t respond. He was very active on social media, and when I initially asked him if he talked to other girls, he assured me that he would only reply if they responded to his stories. It turned out he was the one starting conversations with them all along. This was a major dealbreaker for me. I told him I had lost trust in him and decided to cut off all contact. He kept asking for another chance, but I was terrified of getting hurt again, so I stood firm in my decision. Not only did he damage our relationship, but I also had a close bond with his mother, and now I've lost that, too. I’m left feeling very disappointed and heartbroken. I'm just hoping I made the right choice.

Guidance for those who are ending a relationship.

My boyfriend (26M) and I (25F) have been facing significant relationship issues, which I've mentioned in previous posts. I made the decision to end things on Monday. I was devastated, but he was inconsolable—crying, missing work, unable to eat or sleep, and bombarding me with texts for three days straight, making it difficult for me to heal. On Thursday, I chose to meet with him, and after talking things over, I agreed to give our relationship another chance. However, as we attempt to move forward, I find myself filled with fear. I feel completely numb—no pain, no joy, just emptiness. I see him putting in the effort; he's seeking therapy and participating in men's support groups, but I still don't feel any excitement or happiness about trying again. Now I'm afraid to end things another time because of how he reacted last time, and I feel stuck. This situation is seriously impacting my mental health and daily life. I really need some advice.

My boyfriend and I parted ways.

My boyfriend, 26M, and I, 22F, recently broke up, and I’m seeking advice on whether this message indicates he wants to reconcile: "I still love you and want to be with you. It’s difficult for me to let go, and I don’t want anyone else but you. Since the day we met, you’ve been my dream woman, and I love everything about you. The only reason I doubt that we’re meant to be together is because of the pain we've caused each other. I've remained loyal to you since I promised we would start fresh, but it hurts that you haven't shown me the same loyalty. It feels like you value me—and our family—so little by choosing others over what we had. I’m working hard every day to create a stable life for you and Kaelin, and it’s disheartening when my efforts go unappreciated. It makes it tough for me to keep pushing forward, especially since Kaelin deserves stability. But I do miss you..."

My girlfriend, 26, who I've been with for over five years, wants to break up with me, 30. Any advice?

My girlfriend (26F) and I (30M) have been in a relationship for over five years, and we recently moved to a new city with our two cats. We’ve built a life together, but she now believes it's best to end things due to the toll my mental and physical health issues have taken on both of us. When we relocated, we struggled to make new friends and didn’t have family nearby, which meant it was just the two of us, all day, every day, for years. The pandemic further isolated us, and although we once thrived in our little bubble, it's ultimately affected our relationship. At one point, we developed separation anxiety when apart, and I unknowingly became codependent. I’ve been dealing with anxiety, ADHD, OCD, depression, and chronic GERD, which led to feelings of being stuck and hopeless. I didn't have access to healthcare for a long time, so I was unable to seek help for these issues until recently. I’m finally starting to take steps toward improvement by beginning therapy this week. I had hoped to try couples therapy or at least wait until I’m on medication to see if I could start to feel better and change my ways. She still cares for me, but she feels exhausted and believes our relationship has run its course. Her mother encouraged her to break up, drawing parallels to her own divorce, and my girlfriend now thinks it’s best to part ways. I understand her perspective, but it’s difficult because I finally feel like I’m moving in the right direction, and I can’t shake the feeling that it’s too late. We’re still living together while we figure things out, but I can’t help but think this isn’t how it should end. Any advice would really be appreciated.

Trauma from relationships

I'm 32 and have faced a lot of challenges in my life. I've been in a relationship for 12 years, and we have a 3-year-old together. Reflecting on our time together, I think my girlfriend is struggling with PTSD due to the difficulties we've encountered in our relationship and the significant losses she's experienced, including her sister and multiple pregnancies that didn't go to term. Her perspective has shifted; her life was relatively calm until she turned 19, but since we got together, it's been filled with stress. We're on the brink of breaking up. We argue frequently, and her feelings run so deep that she's wished harm upon me—my son witnesses all of this. 😢 She refuses to seek help for her trauma, believing that removing me from her life will resolve her issues. Despite everything, I hold onto our relationship because I envision a happy family together. ❤️ I genuinely feel that being with me has contributed to her trauma. 😭 Does anyone else feel this way?

My girlfriend (19F) broke up with me (19M), and I'm feeling really confused about it.

Hey everyone, I really need some advice. To give you some background, my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half. We've done everything together, and she truly meant the world to me. Recently, we encountered some minor issues due to her starting college in a different town and me beginning an apprenticeship, which has brought some challenges as we navigate adulthood. Although these situations weren't major, we still saw each other often and maintained a good level of happiness. However, over the past week, I noticed she was acting differently—almost detached, similar to a chat with someone who wasn’t interested. This change worried me about both her and our relationship. I reached out to her, asking if something was bothering her, but she simply mentioned being busy with college. Normally, we communicate very well and tackle our issues together, but this time felt different, and I had a bad feeling something was wrong. After a few days of her distancing herself, she unexpectedly brought up breaking up. I had a sense this might happen, but it still shocked me. She explained that she dislikes the distance between us but doesn’t want to be with anyone else. She also mentioned feeling too emotionally reliant on me and being uncertain about who she is amidst all the changes in her life—not because of our relationship, but due to everything else going on. Heartbroken, I respected her decision, and we ended things. I tried to suggest ways we could work through this together, but she felt it wouldn’t be fair to me. Just a few hours later, though, she texted to apologize, calling it a mistake and expressing that she doesn’t want to lose me. She then asked if we could get back together, but I told her I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions, so we agreed to take a week to think things over and meet up this Saturday. Last night, we talked again, and she mentioned that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get back together. I’m just really confused and feeling awful. The uncertainty is tough, but I want to be there for her during this struggle. Sorry for the lengthy message, but if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you!

I’m looking for sincere advice.

I'm a 23-year-old male currently pursuing my master's degree in Australia. After 1.5 years, I returned to Delhi for my vacation. Everything was going well with my 19-year-old girlfriend, and we were both enjoying time at home in India. Unexpectedly, she decided to end our relationship after nine months together. There was no argument or disagreement that I can identify as a reason for this decision. Following the breakup, she blocked me on all platforms, including LinkedIn, and we've had no contact for the past month. I've been struggling to move on and have fallen into a state of depression, which has overshadowed my vacation. Despite feeling like I did nothing wrong, I'm anxious about returning to Australia because I know I'll see her again. I still have a month left before I go back, but I'm unsure about my next steps. I can't afford to delay my return due to the investment I've made in my education, especially since there's only one semester left. Can anyone offer me advice on how to handle this situation?

How to comprehend or handle my girlfriend

Hello, Reddit community. This is my first time asking a question here, so I appreciate your understanding if I make any mistakes. I'm a 22-year-old male, and I've been navigating a challenging situation with my girlfriend, who is also 22. The past few months have been quite a rollercoaster for me, and I’m struggling to understand what she wants. About a month ago, she broke up with me, saying that I made her feel suffocated and that she wasn't being herself. It hit me hard—I was devastated and felt blindsided. A few days later, after some time apart, she reached out to me, acknowledging that her actions weren't right, and we ended up meeting for coffee to discuss things. During our meeting, she expressed that she wants to pursue a job that is completely different from what we had planned together. This choice seems to create unnecessary distance between us, and she said, "I want to do what I want." Despite this, I tried to be supportive. Now, a month has passed, and I feel a growing disconnect between us. She's just 20 minutes away by bike, but despite my efforts to suggest going out together—something I believe is important—she remains unengaged. She claims she feels disconnected yet says she loves me and is excited about our future, which leaves me confused. She insists that if we were to end things, she wouldn't be happy and that I deserve better. I apologize for the lengthy message. I worry that I don’t understand her well enough, and I'm stretching myself thin trying to keep our relationship alive. We used to share a strong bond, but that spark seems to have faded. I’m doing everything I can, but her lack of effort is disheartening, especially since this was never an issue before. I genuinely don't know how to approach this situation. I struggle with the thought of breaking up because I’ve never loved anyone as deeply as I love her. She's the only person I've ever felt this way for, and right now, it feels like she's both incredibly close to me and yet very far away.

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