Relationship advices

Breakups and Divorces • 9d ago

The husband is unsure.

My husband and I have been married for five months and together for eight and a half years. While I was on a five-week trip to visit family, he called me three days before I returned and told me he wasn’t looking forward to my homecoming. He mentioned that he enjoyed being alone and wanted a divorce, expressing fear about being with the same woman for life and missing the thrill of dating other girls. During my absence, he had been spending a lot of time with three single friends who often brag about their freedom, casual encounters, and open relationships. When I finally arrived home after a grueling 30-hour journey, I was filled with anxiety about what to expect. To my surprise, he said he viewed me as his "medicine" and felt better when he was with me. He insisted that our relationship was wonderful and that he didn’t lack anything, claiming he would never find someone as good as me with the same connection. He expressed that he now faced a choice between the shallow pursuit of other girls, something he claims not to want, and remaining in a loving marriage where he feels valued. He also shared that he has slept with only five people in his life and feels he has missed out, noting that he was 28 when we met and is now almost 36 and worried about approaching middle age. We sought the help of a couple’s therapist, who suggested that his feelings might arise only when I’m away and then subside when I return. This likely relates to unresolved childhood traumas; he comes from a turbulent background and didn’t have strong examples of healthy marriages or a loving environment. Things have started to feel somewhat normal again, and we've been discussing this issue openly, but I still feel deeply hurt. It feels as though I'm not enough for him. He reassures me that it’s not about me, saying he is the one struggling and that I am amazing. He’s apologized for expressing a desire for divorce and acknowledged that he needs to work on his thoughts. He keeps emphasizing that he is the one who needs help. Over the past three weeks, I haven’t felt like myself and have lost my enthusiasm for life, aside from going to the gym. I attempt to maintain a cheerful demeanor around him to convey that things can be okay, but I feel very lost. My husband says he is committed to therapy because he wants to make our marriage work. To add to this, we are set to buy a house together in four weeks. How do I cope with this profound sadness and hurt? I feel betrayed by my husband, but I know I need to set aside these feelings to move forward, yet I’m not sure how. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Is it common for people to question their long-term commitment in this way? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel stuck in this difficult situation. **TL;DR:** My husband is having doubts about staying with me for life.


Infidelity • 9d ago

Looking for guidance.

I'm 17 (M) and my mom is 35 (F). To give you a bit of background, the relationship between my mom and dad (43) is quite complicated. They separated in the past but never finalized a divorce because my dad loves her deeply and would do anything for her. However, for the past three years, I've discovered that she's been chatting with other men, including flirting and sending pictures. My dad is aware of this and had her block all of them after they had an argument. Now that my dad is working abroad, I've become increasingly suspicious of my mom's behavior. Tonight, after she left, I decided to check her WhatsApp. I found the blocked contacts, but then I stumbled upon a chat with a schoolmate. In it, she mentioned that she made a boyfriend at the gym and described him in a very explicit way. When her friend asked if it was a one-night stand, I realized what was going on. My heart raced, and I felt a wave of pain hit me. I tried to message my girlfriend for comfort, but she was already asleep. I feel torn about whether or not to tell my dad, especially since he lives so far away, and I'm worried he might react poorly. Part of me wants my parents to divorce because my mom has made my life difficult since I was six. I’m really unsure about what to do next. I'd appreciate any advice you can give.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 9d ago

I'm uncertain whether ending my relationship with my boyfriend will turn out to be a mistake I'll regret forever.

I really appreciate Reddit for its advice, but I'm seeking guidance on a specific issue. Here's my situation: I'm a 23-year-old woman in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 29, and we've been together for just over three years in the UK. I love him deeply, but we seem to want different things in life. I've always dreamed of traveling and am nearly certain I do not want children, while he aspires for a stable relationship with a mortgage and kids. We've almost ended things multiple times due to this disparity, but I recently suggested I could compromise on travel. As someone with auDHD, I find it hard to meet new people and be away from my family, so I think I would prefer vacations over long-term travel. I want to experience new cultures, but it’s not about the typical "traveling experience.” I also lack the desire to raise children and want to focus on living my life for myself. If I ever decide to have kids, I feel it would be when I’m in my 30s, when I might be ready and have accomplished the things I want. My boyfriend, who struggles with his relationship with his father, seems to want to be the father figure he never had. When we first met, he mentioned he felt if he wanted kids, he would have had them by now. I interpreted that as a no, but since then, our differing views on this have become more pronounced. We came to a compromise where I told him I wouldn’t try for a baby, but if I accidentally got pregnant, I’d go along with it. Recently, he got a puppy, and I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to this change in our relationship dynamics. He works night shifts and we don’t live together due to rental issues, so I only see him two nights a week. When we do spend time together, he’s often exhausted from caring for the puppy. I’ve felt frustrated because our relationship used to be spontaneous and fun, but now it feels stagnant. I worry about whether this is what our future holds. I might have been too harsh when I said I wasn’t willing to settle for this change, especially after I had already compromised on travel and kids. I think he believes breaking up might be best for me, as he feels like he’s holding me back. However, I struggle with PMDD, which impacts my emotions, and I often express my feelings out of anger and frustration. I’m confused about my feelings; I know I love him and we both believe we’re meant to be together. He even suggested I do what I need to do and enjoy life, hoping we might reconnect in the future, but I’m scared to take that risk. If we broke up and he started a family, I would be devastated. I feel uncertain about what I want in life, and though people tell me there’s no rush, I feel the pressure of our age difference. I don’t want him to wait indefinitely as I figure things out, but I also don’t want to lose him. My desires constantly shift, but one constant has been my love for him. It’s heartbreaking to think I might lose the love of my life over these differences. He has said he could make peace with the idea of not having kids, but I don’t want him to regret that decision and resent me later. I would love to hear from others who have experienced similar issues in relationships—how did you reconcile different desires, and did you end up feeling satisfied or regretted your choices? Or any general advice on whether there’s a possibility for us to make this work? We share a simple lifestyle and enjoy our time together, but it’s just about the kids and my uncertainty about my future that provides these challenges. I’m feeling really lost because of how deeply we love each other, and the thought of possibly losing him over these differences is so painful. Thanks for listening.


Communication Problems • 9d ago

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Recently, an old acquaintance of mine from a past talking stage has ended up in jail. We had stopped talking about 4 or 5 months ago, but we managed to stay friends. A few months back, he mentioned that he had a girlfriend, which led us to talk less frequently. I was perfectly okay with this since I had entered a relationship as well. However, I received a call from him recently (from jail), and he informed me that he and his girlfriend had broken up. Apparently, the breakup happened because she saw messages from him expressing his love for me from months earlier, and he seemed to blame me for their split. At the end of our conversation, he mentioned that he would likely be calling frequently just to chat, and this is where my dilemma arises. I have no desire to engage in constant communication with him—or any communication at all, really—especially since I've moved on. I’m also concerned that he will overstep boundaries, as that’s his tendency. Is it wrong for me to block his number and decide not to speak with him again?


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 9d ago

My boyfriend, who is 20, occasionally loses his erection during sex, and I’m 20 as well. I want to address this with him because I don’t want him to feel embarrassed.

Hey everyone! This is my first post on Reddit, and I'm feeling a bit lost about something, so I thought I’d reach out for advice. I've been with my boyfriend for two years, and our relationship overall is wonderful. However, I've recently noticed something odd—during our morning intimacy, he sometimes loses his erection unexpectedly. What confuses me is that he's usually the one who starts things, so I assume he’s interested. Yet, at some point, he goes soft. This doesn’t seem to happen at night or during other times, just mainly in the mornings. I haven't mentioned it to him yet because I don’t want to make him feel bad, but I'm curious about what's going on. Is this a common issue? Could there be a physical reason behind it, or might it relate to stress? I'd really value any insights from those who have been through something similar or any advice on how to address this without making him feel uncomfortable. Thanks!


Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • 9d ago

What am I feeling?

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now, and we’re both 19. Our relationship has been really positive, but I’ve found myself reflecting on my experiences with her in a way I never have before. Caring for her deeply has led me to self-analyze and identify areas where I can grow. In the past, I've done well in certain respects—like validating her feelings, really listening to her, and setting aside my pride. However, I know I’ve struggled with showing empathy and have occasionally let my jealousy and anger get the best of me. Recently, I've been motivated to improve our relationship even more. I've noticed that we don't argue anymore, which she attributes to my efforts to address my shortcomings. However, I sense that she might be holding back from sharing her feelings fully because she worries that I won’t understand her. I recognize where she's coming from, and I'll be there for her until she feels comfortable opening up again without fear of being invalidated. Being in this relationship has also illuminated my own flaws. I’ve realized that I can be envious and quick to anger, which isn’t the best way to behave. But she inspires me to be a better person—not just for her, but for myself and everyone around me. She encourages me to let go of past hurts, live in the present, and embrace positivity. In fact, she even motivates me to explore a relationship with Jesus and attend church, all in the pursuit of becoming a better man. I want nothing more than to share my life with her. I know we’re young, but this relationship feels like home to me. I can cry in her arms without feeling ashamed—she was the first person I ever cried in front of, and she makes me feel safe. Lately, I’ve found myself overthinking whether this is love, and I’m not entirely sure why. All the signs point to love when I’m not overanalyzing, but when I do, I start to feel like I’m holding her back from reaching her full potential. The Bible says that love is not envious or hateful, that it prioritizes the other person, and I know these are qualities I don’t yet fully possess. I’m committed to learning and growing, even considering therapy if that’s what it takes to be the partner she deserves. This is all so confusing because I genuinely care for her and have strong feelings, yet I find myself questioning our love. It feels like I’m being tested to see if what we share is real. But if I have the ability to love her in the way she needs, I’m willing to do whatever it takes because I want her, and I cherish everything that comes with being with her. My heart aches while writing all of this.


Trust and Jealousy • 9d ago

My boyfriend is behaving suspiciously.

My boyfriend and I have been together for three months, and while things started off seemingly perfect (maybe I was a bit naive), I'm beginning to notice some concerning traits. For instance, he’s not a great driver, and it really worries me when I feel like he doesn't prioritize our safety. There was also a recent incident at a coffee shop where he spotted his ex’s car and didn’t want to go inside to avoid seeing her. I understood his feelings and went in alone. However, I later found out that he is still following her on social media. This bothers me, especially because he has spoken negatively about her in the past, describing her as "crazy" and detailing the issues that led to their breakup. Additionally, at the start of our relationship, he mentioned keeping pictures of his exes on his phone as sentimental mementos. I initially brushed it off, but it ended up bothering me. Even his friends advised him to delete them, which he eventually did after I expressed my discomfort. Another issue is that he often takes a few hours to respond to my texts or leaves me on read. His excuse is that he’s busy with schoolwork, or he prefers to reply only when he can give a thoughtful response rather than responding right away. There are more things weighing on my mind, but these stand out to me. What should I do?


Trust and Jealousy • 9d ago

What actions should I take?

I have a lot of unresolved feelings regarding my relationship. There was a moment when she rushed to see her ex-crush while we were together, eagerly exclaiming, "Oh, you're so handsome," right in front of me and everyone else. I was incredibly embarrassed. This happened a year ago, yet it still weighs heavily on my heart. I tried to discuss it with her, but she dismissed it as nothing. Eventually, when she finally acknowledged it, she said, "I was just excited to see him." That hit me hard—it felt like a punch to my soul. To make things worse, she was upset with me for being upset about it. For context, she doesn't allow me to have female friends. I love her deeply and truly, and I can’t imagine walking away from her. How can I work through these unresolved issues, either with her or without her?


Friendship and Relationships • 9d ago

I, a 26-year-old woman, have feelings for my friend, a 25-year-old man.

I'm trying to figure out whether to maintain my friendship with a guy friend. I feel that our friendship has greater potential for development than a romantic relationship would. I worry that dating could compromise the deep bond we have, and the thought of losing him entirely would be incredibly painful for me. He’s making real progress in his personal growth, but he's grappling with some challenges that I’ve encountered in past relationships. For instance, he struggles to express his feelings verbally and tends to communicate through actions alone. For me, being with someone who articulates their thoughts and feelings is crucial since that's my natural way of connecting. For example, we met up yesterday, and when we hung out, he held my hand while driving. I asked him what holding hands meant to him, and he shared that it signifies he likes someone. Given that we’ve only known each other for four months, I understand how nerve-wracking it can be to express that feeling, which is why I haven't yet revealed my own feelings for him. I recently learned that his parents never verbally expressed their love for him, and he is just beginning to experience that with them. It's heartwarming to witness his growth in forming genuine friendships—with me and our mutual friends—and to see him start expressing loving words to his parents. I’ve received mixed advice from friends: some suggest letting things unfold naturally, while others advise staying just friends. What I do know is that this connection feels healthier than any similar situation I've had before. There aren’t any major red flags, just a few minor concerns, and he has already shown a willingness to grow after our discussions about better expressing himself. I also try not to let astrology overly influence my feelings, but the fact that he is a Virgo does affect my perspective. I haven’t had the best experiences with Virgos in the past, and some of his struggles echo issues I've faced before. Additionally, I had a dream about a dark figure with a right eye, sitting in a room full of people we both know. Everyone around him seemed comfortable, but he was staring directly at me, which left me feeling frightened. I didn't delve too deeply into it, but I came across a Bible verse that resonated strongly with that dream. Matthew 5:29 states, "If your right eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out and throw it away. For it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." If anyone would like more details, I’m open to sharing further. What would you do in my situation?


Infidelity • 9d ago

Calling all men! We’d love to hear your opinions.

I’ve noticed that many men have girlfriends or wives but also use dating apps on their phones. Why is that? If you’re not satisfied in your relationship, why not just end it and pursue what makes you happy? Why deceive someone else? As a 26-year-old woman, I’m really curious about this.


Toxic Relationships • 9d ago

I'm starting to feel some strong negative feelings towards my boyfriend.

I'm honestly unsure if I still love my boyfriend. I've shared my struggles here before, but things have become even more overwhelming since then. It's hard to admit, but he often exhibits controlling behavior, despite claiming he never wants to. I spend almost every waking hour with him—I'm only not on the phone with him when I’m at work, with my mom, or if my phone dies at night. I care for him deeply, but I feel like I have no personal space or privacy. I've tried discussing this with him, but he reacts dramatically, often shutting down completely for the day—no calls, no texts, just our messages left on read. We're nearing adulthood; I wish he could communicate better. He’s mentioned before that I don’t put in enough effort and that my memory is poor, which stings because I've made a genuine effort to improve by writing things down and reassuring him about little things. When I don't receive any acknowledgment of my efforts, it hurts. I find myself canceling plans with friends just because he prefers spending time together, but we often end up lounging around instead of going out. I crave adventure and social interaction, while he imagines a future where it’s just the two of us in a house—something I can't envision for myself. It's stressful when I try to talk about my aspirations, and he gets upset, as if I'm planning my future without him. I've made sacrifices to spend more time with him, but we hardly do anything meaningful together. The other day, he vented about our problems to my mother—my mother! It's strange since I don't even have a close relationship with his parents. Why does he feel so attached to mine? It's just a lot to handle right now.


Work-Life Balance • 9d ago

Ending my relationship with my boyfriend over pickleball.

I’m a 24-year-old woman who met my boyfriend, a 32-year-old man, on Bumble, and we've been dating for four months. In my Bumble profile, I mentioned that I play pickleball every Saturday, which has been a cherished hobby of mine long before I met him. It’s an important aspect of my life, and I was honest about it from the start. Recently, however, he hasn't been supportive of my pickleball games because they take away time we could spend together. He has even suggested that I quit so we can hang out more. I proposed that we play together, but he isn’t interested. I feel like quitting would mean giving up a significant part of who I am, and I'm concerned that this could set a precedent for sacrificing my other hobbies in the future. I’ve shared these feelings with him, but the issue continues to be a point of contention. It feels a bit extreme to consider breaking up over pickleball, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my hobbies for the sake of our relationship. Am I being unreasonable? Do I have valid reasons to think that breaking up might be necessary?


Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • 9d ago

Am I a bad partner for not finding my girlfriend as attractive as I once did?

My girlfriend has always had long ginger hair that she styled in the cutest ways, like half-up-half-down looks and buns. She took great pride in her beautiful hair, and it was one of the things I loved most about her, especially her variety of styles. However, in December, she decided to cut it short, above her shoulders. I tried to gently talk her out of it, but she went through with it anyway, and now I find that I'm not as physically attracted to her as I once was. I genuinely dislike her new hairstyle. I still see her as beautiful and love her deeply, but I miss how elegant she looked with long hair. Since the cut, she’s been unhappy with her new look and wishes for her old hair back. Does this make me a bad person?


Communication Problems • 9d ago

Did I overreact when my girlfriend playfully hit me in front of her friends?

I'm feeling really confused and could use some advice. My girlfriend (22F) playfully hit me (22M) in front of her friends after I teased her a bit. Last night, she hosted a birthday party with all her friends, and it was a blast. She's a huge fan of a goofy movie, and we've always joked about her obsession with it. While we were hanging out, I was making fun of the movie, and she playfully punched my shoulder. It didn't hurt at all, but her friend next to her looked shocked and waved her off afterward. I understand it was meant in good fun, but I find it disrespectful to be hit, even playfully, especially in front of others. I grew up in a loving household where my parents never laid a hand on each other, even in jest, and they taught us that physical reactions aren’t acceptable, regardless of the intent. The rest of the night, I felt a bit off, and after her friends left, she noticed something was bothering me. I told her I was surprised by her hitting me; while it didn’t hurt, it just felt off and disrespectful towards a partner. She ended up having a breakdown and felt terrible about it, which was really upsetting. She said it was completely inexcusable, especially given all the things I do for her in our relationship. To add some context: I do put a lot into our relationship, and while I'm happy to support her, I get frustrated when she’s late to things. After all I did to help her prepare for the party, it felt inconsiderate to be hit, even playfully. She really panicked and said she feels like she gives so much less in this relationship and that she's overwhelmed with school. She expressed doubts about why I treat her so well and doesn't feel like she’s "girlfriend material" for me. Honestly, I wasn't that upset about the incident; it just bothered me and felt slightly disrespectful. I’m not angry at all, but her extreme reaction and guilt make me question whether I have the right to feel this way. Our relationship is typically filled with love and affection, and I’m fully committed to her. It just hurts to see her so upset, especially when I didn't do anything wrong.


Friendship and Relationships • 9d ago

Should I consider forgiving my friend who betrayed my trust last year?

Here's a rewritten version of your text: **A bit of context…** - I'm someone who strives to please others and avoids conflict. - In late 2023, I was taken advantage of and assaulted by a man. - He displayed both mental and physical aggression, and I fear he could become a predator in the future. - For my own safety, my friends severed ties with him, as they recognized he was dangerous and knew what he did to me. - In early 2024, I received a message from one of my friends, informing me that one of my closest friends had invited this man to her birthday party. - I felt incredibly betrayed, especially since she tried to keep this information from me, so I decided to cut her out of my life immediately. She has no idea why I blocked her and hasn’t spoken to me in months, although she’s reached out a few times via text. I only blocked her on social media, not on messaging. - Yesterday, after my dog passed away, she sent me a message expressing her condolences after seeing a post my sister made about it. - Now I'm unsure whether to continue ignoring her, simply say thank you and leave it at that, or attempt to rebuild our friendship. What do you think I should do? I find her untrustworthy, but I'm conflicted about whether to keep her as a casual friend or let things unfold naturally. Being a people pleaser often complicates my decisions, and I really struggle with maintaining a friendly demeanor with everyone. I'd appreciate any advice. I’m 18F and she is too.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 10d ago

I'm an 18-year-old male, and I've been reflecting on my relationship with my girlfriend, who is also 18.

We've been dating for nearly a year, and things are going well between us. However, I can't shake the feeling that I might not be ready to commit to a serious relationship. I worry that it could end badly for us. I truly love her and never want to hurt her. She's an incredible person, and her belief that we'll get married soon makes me anxious; I can't help but think about the possibility of causing her pain. I genuinely feel like I'm the source of her happiness, especially since we share so much about our lives. I really don't want to break up with her, but I'm uncertain about what to do. Am I wrong for having these thoughts?


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 10d ago

I (23F) am facing an issue with my boyfriend's (25M) use of pornography.

In the past, my boyfriend and I have argued about his consumption of what I consider "soft porn." I've noticed he saves pictures of girls on Instagram and later goes to their profiles for arousal. I've also caught him searching for women with extremely unrealistic body types, which is upsetting to me because these women are often highly sexualized and represent the porn industry. While I understand that masturbation is normal, I feel that his daily engagement with this material objectifies women and exacerbates harmful stereotypes, reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards. Every day, he spends time on Reddit browsing topics like “jizz to this,” “boltedontits,” and “sluts,” continuously scrolling through this soft porn content—even when I’m in the same room. I realize this might be a habit for him, but it makes me very uncomfortable. It's evident that he's fixated on these unrealistic ideals. For instance, when we’re out at a club, he often does a double take at girls who resemble typical porn stars, showing how conditioned he is to these images. Additionally, having a girlfriend but still engaging with these Reddit forums feels wrong to me. Whenever I bring this up, he gets extremely angry, making it a sensitive topic. I used to check his phone frequently but have since stopped. Recently, when I did ask to see something on his phone, I discovered the Reddit posts. Sometimes, I feel taken for granted and wish I could ask him to delete Reddit, as he can't seem to browse without getting sucked into these topics. What should I do? Am I in the wrong for feeling upset and uncomfortable about this situation?


LGBTQ+ Relationships • 10d ago

I've never been attracted to a man or masculine person before, but now I (24F) have feelings for my close friend (21M). How does this happen?

Hey! So, here’s the quick version: I'm a 24-year-old woman who has only ever been attracted to women. However, I recently developed feelings for one of my closest friends, who is a very androgynous guy, and it's left me feeling quite confused 😭. I’ve already come to terms with what this means for my sexuality, but navigating this situation is tricky for a couple of reasons: he’s a great friend and he’s a man. I’ve been dropping hints, but I can’t tell if he’s not picking up on them because he doesn’t want to acknowledge them or if I need to be more direct. I’m uncertain. The full story is below. Let’s call my friend Youssef ❤️. We met online about two years ago while creating content in the same niche on TikTok. We followed each other and quickly started chatting, which turned into daily voice notes and texts. Our bond has grown strong, and it’s been wonderful! He lives in my home country, while I’m in the U.S. When I visited family last summer, he was the only friend I made time to see—even though I didn’t have feelings for him then, I just knew I wanted to spend time with him. I felt butterflies the whole time, but I didn’t think much of it since he had a boyfriend and I didn’t consider myself attracted to anyone who wasn’t a woman. Fast forward a few months to December: Youssef shared that he had broken up with his boyfriend and I was the first person he told. As he opened up to me, I felt an unfamiliar ache in my heart, realizing how much I truly cared for him. I started replaying his voice notes and reminiscing about our messages, ultimately identifying my feelings as a crush. After a bit of an identity crisis regarding my sexuality, I fully embraced it and began crushing hard, lol. Here’s the catch—he identifies as pansexual but mostly dates men. When we became friends, I mentioned I was a lesbian, which we joked about, and I even said he’d be my type if I liked men 🥲. As the months went by, I began overanalyzing our friendship, thinking maybe I was overstepping. Even though we flirted playfully—typical of our queer friendship—I started toning that down a bit. Early January, he shared a bunch of pictures of himself with friends, and one included us. I messaged him, saying, "Omg, all your friends are so cute, look at us ❤️," to which he replied, “We’re all sexy, be real... I would date every single one of us, including you." I was totally shocked! It felt like he was giving me more than just friendly vibes, and my crush reignited. There’s definitely been a lot of flirtation between us, but sometimes I can’t tell if it’s just playful banter or if he actually feels something for me. Here are a few examples to help clarify: Signs he might like me: - He used to comment on my TikToks complimenting me like he does with people he likes, saying things like, “Damn, you look so good, cutie.” - He sends me TikToks with sexual jokes. - He talks about what he wants in a partner and lists traits I have, then mentions, “If only someone like that was in our country…” (I want to move back, so who knows?) - He frequently expresses how much he wishes I could be there for activities or celebrations. - When I first met him, I let slip that I kind of liked him, and he got excited about it but then later lamented that the right people for him aren’t in our country. Signs that confuse me: - He recently mentioned a crush on a mutual friend I introduced him to and keeps talking about them but adds that it won’t lead anywhere. - When I jokingly suggest I could be into men, he doesn’t seem to react. He only responds to other parts of the conversation. - After I told him about a friend getting engaged, he expressed a desire for us to live authentically and then sent me a mildly flirty message an hour later. This left me wondering if he still sees me strictly as a lesbian or if he doesn’t recognize that I could like him. What do you think? I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship, so I’m keeping the flirting light. I’m curious to know if he might feel the same or if I should just let it go and continue being friends. Thanks for reading and for your thoughts!


Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • 10d ago

Am I really in love, or just imagining things?

I'm a 23-year-old woman and I've known a guy from my college for over four years now. I genuinely enjoy spending time with him and feel completely at ease in his presence. I've never been so open and vulnerable with anyone before. Even though I don't have romantic feelings for him, I often find myself thinking about spending my life with him in some way. I'm not entirely sure what that means. I've been diagnosed with severe OCD and depression, which makes it difficult for me to fully feel my emotions, leaving me uncertain about my feelings. We have a lot of mutual friends, but I still prefer talking to him above anyone else, even outside of typical couple activities. I feel like I can support and comfort him. I'm looking for thoughtful and genuine advice on how to navigate this situation. I don't want to cause any negativity, and I’m also mindful of not wanting to complicate his life, especially since I'm not very comfortable with physical affection.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 10d ago

My boyfriend (24) prefers that I (22) don't bring weed products into our future home. Should I just go along with his wishes?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and are planning to get married next month. He confided in me about his discomfort with my marijuana use, so I made a point not to smoke around him. When he started to complain about the smell, I switched to disposable vape pens. As we spent more time together, I reduced my smoking from 2-3 times every couple of months. Recently, we discussed the prospect of buying a house together. Initially, he expressed that he didn't want any weed in the house. I explained that I would use vapes instead, which produce no smoke and have little odor, and that I wouldn't use them around him. He suggested I keep it in my car and smoke elsewhere, but eventually, he offered that I could have a shed or garage for it. I found this response somewhat unreasonable because it’s vapor and I would never smoke it around him. This situation bothers me because I've made significant changes to accommodate his feelings, and yet he seems unwilling to compromise on this one aspect. I've already reduced my usage significantly, and I feel that if I own a house, I should have the freedom to enjoy it as I wish. Am I overreacting?


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 10d ago

I (26, male) and my girlfriend (22, female) had an important discussion yesterday regarding our sex life, and I'm uncertain about the next steps to take.

Hey Reddit! My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half, and generally, everything's been wonderful. However, our sex life has consistently fallen short since the beginning. I have a high libido and enjoy being adventurous, while she tends to be more reserved. Yesterday, I found myself unable to maintain an erection because I was reflecting on how much oral pleasure I give her compared to how rarely I receive it in return. Her handjobs don't really meet my needs either, as her grip is quite gentle, and despite my efforts to communicate what I enjoy, nothing seems to change. She ended up in tears because we've only had sex twice this month. I explained that this was partly due to the fact that I sometimes find the experience unenjoyable since I rarely receive oral and it feels like I’m putting in more effort than she is. She expressed that she doesn't enjoy giving blowjobs and is trying her best with her handjobs, but the situation remains frustrating. To be fair, I can easily bring her to climax without any toys, but I've never reached climax through her handjobs or the rare times she does give oral. I'm uncertain about how to move forward, especially since we just relocated to a new city together. I love her and appreciate her personality, but I can't shake off the concern that our sex life is the biggest issue in our relationship. She asked if I compare our sex life to previous relationships, and while I told her I don’t, the truth is that I do, and I feel guilty about it. I miss having fulfilling sex. Today, after she stayed over, things have felt a bit off between us.


Communication Problems • 10d ago

Am I Ready to End My Relationship with My Girlfriend?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for some time now, and lately, I've sensed that she might be distancing herself from me. I'm unsure if I'm just overanalyzing the situation or if there's genuinely something wrong, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind. To give some background, I have a complex history with relationships and friendships; I've faced exclusion and betrayal from people I trusted, leading me to be particularly sensitive to changes in behavior. Additionally, I deal with PTSD and severe anxiety, which I'm actively addressing, but this complicates my ability to manage emotional distance. Recently, she seems more remote. She takes longer to reply to my texts, cancels plans more frequently, and appears less engaged when we're together. When I attempt to discuss it, she either brushes it aside or insists everything is fine, but her actions suggest otherwise. It feels like she’s gradually slipping away, and I'm left wondering if I've done something wrong, if she’s losing interest, or if she’s dealing with something she won’t share. It's important to mention that she's facing challenges, including rejections from grad programs, which I know are taking a toll on her. While I don’t want to resent her for spending more time with friends, it makes me feel sidelined. It’s particularly frustrating since this is our last semester of college, and I expected us to make the most of our time together before everything changes. Instead, it feels as if she’s already moving on. I’ve always been the type to invest my whole heart into relationships, and I’d rather not cling to something that might no longer exist. However, I also don’t want to walk away from something that could potentially be repaired with a bit more patience. Right now, I feel caught in a limbo, uncertain whether to fight for this relationship or to let it go. How can you tell when it's time to end a relationship? How do you differentiate between someone needing space and someone who is pulling away for good?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 10d ago

I have a crush on my manager… (office edition)

A tale as old as time… I (32F) found myself captivated by my manager (36M). This realization crept in slowly—almost a year into our working relationship, I began to see him in a new light. I’ve always thought he was attractive; his charming smile and captivating eyes drew me in. Not to mention, he’s intelligent, positive, and kind, exuding a distinctly masculine energy. Before I knew it, I was smitten. Initially, I believed this infatuation would be fleeting, but it’s been four months now, and if anything, my feelings have only intensified. I genuinely want what’s best for him and would never want to disrupt our professional lives or our working dynamic. I’m determined to handle this situation thoughtfully, to the extent that I'm even considering switching teams or, in the worst-case scenario, finding a job elsewhere. These feelings have been weighing heavily on me; I feel drained. My sleep has suffered since this started, and I’ve lost my appetite. Lately, I’ve been getting the impression that he might feel the same way, but I’m left puzzled—could I be misinterpreting his actions? Am I simply blinded by my own feelings, or is there something real brewing beneath the surface? I could use some guidance! Here are some signs I’ve noticed: 1. He genuinely seems to care about when I’m doing well, often asking about my well-being and how my weekend went. 2. When he approaches my workspace, he tends to stand just a bit closer than necessary, though I don't move away—it feels nice to have him near. He often leans in while we talk, too. 3. Occasionally, when he asks me to pass him something, our hands or arms brush against each other. While these could be accidental, it’s happened a few times. 4. In group settings, he always positions his feet toward me, even if it means tweaking his posture—regardless of whether he’s facing me directly. 5. He laughs at even my worst jokes and has a big smile whenever he’s around me. 6. Our eye contact feels particularly intense, as if we share a profound connection. Sometimes when he talks to me and makes eye contact, I completely zone out, relying on automatic responses like “Mhm” and “Yes.” 7. Some colleagues have picked up on this dynamic—though I’m not sure if they’re sensing something from me or him. One time, while he was laughing in our work chat, a coworker kept turning to look at me, seemingly trying to gauge my reaction. I just feigned boredom and avoided using my keyboard. It felt as if she was trying to catch something unspoken. We strictly communicate about work via chat, email, or text, but our personal conversations are reserved for face-to-face interactions, especially during one-on-one meetings. 8. I often catch him stealing glances in my direction. 9. Occasionally, he blushes or seems nervous around me, but I can’t tell if it’s due to me or if he’s generally a nervous person. 10. He sometimes stumbles over his words or appears distracted during our conversations. Deep down, despite my infatuation clouding my judgment, I can’t ignore the signs that suggest something might be happening. There has to be more than just my imagination… right?


Toxic Relationships • 10d ago

Did I make a mistake?

I (21F) attended my friend's 21st birthday celebration last night. Before I left, I mentioned to my fiancé (27M) that I wasn't sure if my ride, who was my friend, would be drinking, so I asked him to keep his phone on in case I needed a ride. At around 10 PM, he said he was getting ready for bed and asked if I needed a ride home or if my friend could bring me back later. She assured me that she’d take me home once she sobered up. However, she fell asleep around 12:30 AM, so I sent my fiancé a message just in case I dozed off waiting for her, so he wouldn't worry if I didn't make it home. Apparently, he thought I should have woken up my friend who had been drinking to drive me home, which didn’t seem safe to me. He eventually came and picked me up but was really upset about it. He said he felt he couldn't sleep without me there and that I should have known he wanted me home earlier. But this all started at 12:30, and my friend was both intoxicated and asleep. I just wanted to celebrate my friend's milestone birthday, and I would have been fine staying the night if necessary. For some extra context, he wasn't there because my friends perceive him as controlling after he didn’t allow me to go to a Halloween party they hosted. Now I’m wondering if I'm in the wrong here and would appreciate some opinions. Note: I hadn’t given him a specific time for when I would be home.


Parenting and Raising Children • 10d ago

Looking for some advice! I'm a 22-year-old female and he's a 23-year-old male.

I've been with my partner for almost a year now, just a few days shy of that milestone. We connected on Tinder, met in person quickly, and hit it off immediately. Since then, we've hardly been apart. A few weeks into our relationship, he revealed that he had just ended a five-year relationship with his ex two weeks before we met. In August, I discovered I was pregnant and initially considered having an abortion since we had only been together for seven months and lived 100 miles apart. However, he pleaded with me to keep the baby and assured me he would support both me and the child. So, I let him move in with me, as he had been sofa surfing. Once I reached about 20 weeks pregnant, he started acting differently. He became distant, and our intimate life dwindled. Every evening after work, he would come home and immediately FaceTime his mom, often playing games with her late into the night, which disrupted my sleep. We argue over trivial matters and can never resolve our issues, which just gets ignored until the next week when the same problems resurface. I've bought everything for the baby myself, while he claims he doesn't have the money and expresses confusion, as his single mother provided for him during his childhood. This week, things took a turn. He had a good month at work and received a sizable paycheck. I thought he might help with the baby’s needs, but instead, he announced he would be leaving on Monday to visit his mom, 150 miles away, spending almost £300 on fuel. He didn't even mention this plan to me beforehand, which struck me as odd; had he discussed it, I wouldn’t have minded rearranging my schedule. He’s also not offered to buy anything for the baby again this month. On top of that, the car he's taking is the one we share—I cover half of all expenses like petrol, insurance, and taxes—so now I’m left without transportation to my hospital appointments next week. He didn’t even remember my appointment on Monday, which I will have to attend alone, a recurring situation, and the staff had expressed concerns about the baby’s size. I'm terrified at the thought of becoming a single mom at 22 and heartbroken that he seems indifferent towards me and our baby. I genuinely believed he was the love of my life, and I was looking forward to this new chapter together. However, I don’t want my child to feel second best, like I do now. I reached out to his mom to share my feelings, but she essentially labeled me as selfish, insisting that he deserves time away with her since she misses him. She also indicated that our relationship moved too quickly, which I agree with, but he’s the one who insisted on keeping the baby. I could really use some advice, as I feel so lost and scared right now. 😫