Relationship advices

Visiting [32F] for the first time with a friend who's 40.

I had never kissed anyone until yesterday. I'm a 32-year-old woman who is generally considered attractive, especially at 25. For a long time, I had a phobia of intimacy and sexual interactions with men. However, I gradually overcame this fear through an online relationship with a guy. I also had a friend and colleague who pursued me for about five years, always checking in and asking me out. I rejected him each time until he moved away. After that, I agreed to meet up. We went on two dates, and on the third, we had dinner and took a walk. On our way back to my hotel, he said he would come along, and I was fine with just watching a movie. But after about an hour, he started kissing me. At first, I wasn’t into it, but eventually, I found it enjoyable, and we ended up having intimate moments until morning. It was an amazing experience. He was really sweet and attentive, only being a bit pushy initially for the kisses, which I partly attribute to inviting him in. We ended up being intimate several times, and it felt really good. Now, I'm wondering how to navigate the relationship moving forward. I want to ensure I don't become emotionally attached in an unhealthy way. What advice do you have for me, experienced members of Reddit?

My boyfriend, who is 21, just confessed that he watched his friend masturbate on webcam.

My boyfriend recently shared something he did last night that really hurts and feels like a bit of a betrayal. He was playing Roblox with a friend when he suddenly heard moans. When he asked her what was going on, she turned on her camera and was nude and masturbating. He didn't stop her and even took screenshots, saying his heart was pounding and his chest felt heavy. The kicker is that he's seen this friend nude before and had VR sex with her a while back, which is why she felt comfortable doing this, even though she knew I was with him. I told him I wouldn't be okay with him talking to her again, and he understands. He's hypersexual, so I get that he might have frozen in that moment and just went along with it, but I'm still unsure how to process all of this. How can I work through these feelings?

How can I, a 25-year-old woman, encourage a 25-year-old man to be more assertive with me, not just in his work life?

Subject: Need Some Advice Hi there! I've been seeing a guy for a while now, and we often meet up during the week and chat daily. There's a great intellectual chemistry between us, which I really appreciate. However, I can't shake the feeling that he puts on a different persona whenever we're together. He has a demanding job where he's constantly on his game and competing with his colleagues, but when we hang out, he often seems like a clueless teenager. I understand that everyone needs to unwind in their own way, but I wish we could find a balance. I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel less masculine, but I also don't want to take on a quasi-motherly role, especially since we’re the same age. It would mean a lot to me if he could bring some of that confident charm he shows in his professional life into our time together. I appreciate men who are comfortable being vulnerable, but I’d love for us to level the playing field and have him take the lead sometimes too. Is this a common situation? How can I address it without being insensitive? Thanks for your help!

Are we done with our relationship? [23M] and [23F]

I'm a 23-year-old man, and my girlfriend, also 23, and I recently discussed our future plans regarding children. She is firmly against having any, while I've always envisioned having a little family of my own. This difference in views led to an argument between us. We've been together for five years, and I still love her, but it feels like our future aspirations are pulling us in opposite directions. Could this signal the end of our relationship?

Is it unsanitary for me (22F) to share a washcloth with my boyfriend (23M)?

"We've been in a relationship for a few years now and have recently moved in together. From the start, we’ve loved showering together and have been using the same washcloth to conserve soap. Since I didn't live there initially, I didn't think much of sharing it. We still frequently shower together and continue to share the washcloth. I’m starting to wonder if this is unsanitary and if we should stop, but I also think, 'Why waste more soap?' I'm hesitant to ask my friends, just in case this is actually gross. I would appreciate your honest thoughts on this. Thanks!"

I have a concern about my boyfriend, who is 24, flirting with my friends. I'm 21, and I'm unsure how to address this. What should I do?

My boyfriend (24M) often jokes with my best friend (21F) about her height, which bothers me. The first time he met her, he mentioned that he didn’t expect her to be "that short." For context, she’s 5'2" and I’m 5'5". Since then, he’s made similar comments repeatedly, and I’ve noticed that I’ve never seen a guy tease a girl about her height unless there was some flirting involved. He has also mentioned that he enjoys “messing with” my friends. Once, while we were cuddling in bed, he said he wanted to go “mess with” her, and I found that comment unsettling. My friends have commented on how “affectionate” he is, and he’s acted oddly toward other friends as well. For instance, he often refers to one friend (23F) as “so innocent,” while he calls another (22F) “shawty,” even after she indicated that it made her uncomfortable. I brought this up to him about five months ago, and he assured me that he wasn’t flirting and would be more mindful of my boundaries. However, he continued to make similar comments afterward. When I confronted him again, he insisted it wasn’t a problem since he doesn’t like them that way; he just thinks “messing with” people is funny. He likened it to how he jokes with his friends, but I’ve never seen him call his male friends “shawty” or comment on their innocence or height. I find it strange that he keeps crossing boundaries even after I expressed my discomfort. I’m unsure if his behavior is flirting or not. If it were truly a misunderstanding, I feel like he would be more considerate and stop these comments. I’m questioning whether I’m overthinking things. How should I address this?

Is it possible to forgive my girlfriend [22F] for the physical abuse she has inflicted on me [22M]?

I [22M] experienced a shocking moment today when my girlfriend [22F], with whom I’ve been for a year, hit me. I was so taken aback that I just froze. Despite being nearly 220 pounds of muscle, I felt an instinctual urge to refrain from hitting back. I’m not violent by nature, and she's quite petite compared to me. For nearly 30 minutes, she continued to strike me—slaps, punches, bites—everything you can imagine. To clarify, I didn’t cheat or hurt her emotionally; it was a work-related issue that didn’t impact her directly since we’re in the same field. Everything feels blurred right now. I’m grappling with feelings of inadequacy and uncertainty about my feelings for her. I’m not sure if I still love her; I just feel numb at the moment. Deep down, I have a sense that I might want to forgive her, but as of now, it feels impossible. I’ve never harmed her, but now I feel like I’ve lost my sense of security. She was the one person I felt completely safe around, but that doesn’t seem to hold true anymore. TL;DR: My girlfriend hit me, and I'm struggling to process my feelings about it.

My girlfriend (28) is facing weight challenges.

As the title suggests, my 28-year-old girlfriend has been trying to recommit to healthier eating and exercising more regularly. While we do engage in some activities together, we often find ourselves frustrated because she struggles to keep up physically during any movement-based activities. When we began our relationship a couple of years ago, she was in better shape at 125 lbs and 5'3", while I was 250 lbs and 6'4". Since then, I've managed to lose weight and build muscle, now weighing 215 lbs, with a goal of reaching 200 lbs by the end of summer. Meanwhile, her weight has increased to 160 lbs. She expresses a desire to eat better and be more active, but her efforts typically last only a few days. Financial resources and time are not obstacles; it seems to come down to self-discipline. We had another conversation about this today, and it left both of us feeling drained. How can I support her in staying motivated?

I'm an 18-year-old male, and right now, my girlfriend, who is also 18, and I are going through a tough time. She suggested we take a break. I've been struggling mentally and have broken down several times recently, feeling like I've messed up our relationship. I would appreciate any advice you might have.

My girlfriend (18F) and I (18M) have been facing some challenges lately. She mentioned that I’ve been coming across as aggressive and irritable, so on Tuesday, she suggested we take a break. I reacted as you might expect—there were tears and heartfelt confessions. My mental health hasn't been the best; I've struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past and even attempted to take my life. She wants me to seek therapy, and I am committed to that, but I can’t help feeling like I've caused more harm than I can repair. I love her dearly and had plans to propose before we both head off to basic training. I know it’s a long shot, but if anyone has been through something similar, I would really appreciate any advice. Thank you.

What are some ways to improve my relationship with my girlfriend (21F) and me (20F)?

We've been together for nearly six months, and she’s my first girlfriend. I’ve dated guys in the past because I was afraid to come out as a lesbian in a very homophobic environment. I love her deeply and even dream of marrying her, but we’re in a long-distance relationship, and her parents are very traditional and extremely homophobic. She won't accept any help I offer that involves money or physical gifts since she still lives with them and they’re quite protective, even preventing her from pursuing her education far from home; she’s attending a local university instead. Lately, our communication has lessened, and while I understand she’s busy with her studies and life, it still makes me anxious. I’m unsure about how to celebrate our anniversary because I can’t send her anything through the mail without her parents finding out— they scrutinize everything she receives, even official documents, which is overwhelming. I want her to know how much I love her and to make her feel special, but flying out to see her isn’t feasible for me at the moment. What are some ways to maintain a long-distance relationship? It’s challenging to find other lesbians who share my interests and values, especially in such a small dating pool where I live. How can I express my needs to her without being bothersome or demanding too much? I’m aware that everyone has their struggles, and her situation isn’t easy right now. What thoughtful gestures can I do to show her she’s valued and to support her as she navigates her life until she can move out from her parents’ home? I want to ensure that I’m not the only one making an effort in our relationship, especially since I sometimes struggle to interpret social cues and appreciate what others do for me. I think getting insights from people online would really help.

Me, age 23 (female), and him, age 33 (male).

At 23, I’ve been in a wonderful relationship for the past four years, but lately, I’ve begun to sense that the romance may be fading. In the beginning, he (33M) used to show his affection through sweet gestures like holding my hand in the car and kissing me goodbye. Now, it feels like I haven’t experienced those tender moments in ages—it's usually me who has to initiate any physical affection. What does romance mean to you? How can I improve my situation?

My boyfriend, who is 24, lied to me.

Hello everyone! My boyfriend and I have been together for about 18 months. A few months ago, we were going through a tough time, and our intimacy decreased. He wasn't open with me about what was happening, so I eventually asked if he watched adult content. He admitted that he did, a few times a week. I was hurt because it felt like he was seeking out other women online when we weren't being intimate. We discussed it, and he promised to stop watching it. I never pressured him to make that choice; I simply shared how I felt. I trusted him and thought we could move forward. Recently, however, I noticed he was behaving the same way as before, so I asked him if he was watching it again. He insisted he wasn't, and I believed him. But soon after, I asked again, and he repeated the denial. I mentioned that I felt he was lying, and he just laughed it off. After some time, I told him he was a bad liar, and he said he didn't know what I wanted him to say. I was really hurt to learn that he had been lying to me for months, especially given my past experiences with dishonesty and infidelity. When I asked to go through his phone, I found him on women’s OnlyFans pages, which compounded my hurt. This behavior feels completely out of character for him, and I'm confused about who he has become. How should I approach this conversation with him? TL;DR: My boyfriend has lied about watching adult content, and I'm upset. How can I discuss this with him?

My best friend [27F] and I [32M] had a fascinating weekend, but I fear I may have jeopardized both our friendship and the chance of a romantic relationship.

**My Best Friend** A little background about me: I’m a 32-year-old man in the US Army, and I've been deployed frequently over the last ten years, spending seven of those years overseas. I'm divorced and have two wonderful little girls. A few years ago, before my divorce, I met my best friend, who is 27. We connected through mutual friends during one of my deployments. Our friendship developed quickly; she is gay and has only been with one guy back when she was around 15, which is an important detail. We've kept in touch about everything—heartbreak, work, life, death—and we enjoy going out together. She's my wingwoman, and I’m her wingman. Last weekend, while she was out drinking with friends, she texted me saying she was feeling horny, which isn’t unusual for our banter. When I asked if she had her eye on anyone there, she mentioned she did, but she has a boyfriend. I jokingly responded that if I were there, we’d hit the town and get her laid. Then, out of the blue, she asked if I could make her squirt, which caught me off guard. We talked about it for a bit, but after she went home and went to bed, I brought it up again the next day in a lighthearted way, and since then, she’s been distant. Did I mess up by bringing it up? Should I have kept quiet? Was she hinting at wanting something more, even though she generally hasn’t shown interest in guys until that moment? I’ve always thought of her as just a friend, but she's amazing—gorgeous, funny, and we have so much in common. I'd appreciate any advice or thoughts on the situation. Sorry for the long post!

I'm a 27-year-old man contemplating whether I should end my relationship with a 27-year-old woman.

I've been seeing this girl for the past four months, and she recently got out of a long-term relationship—it’s been nearly six months since then. I'm feeling uncertain about how to proceed. We've had plenty of conversations and gone on several dates, with the understanding that there are no expectations at this point. The problem is that I'm developing strong feelings for her, and I'm unsure if she feels the same way. I haven't brought it up yet because I don't want her to feel pressured, but I’m reaching a point where I want to know what she’s thinking. My concern is that if I express my feelings too soon, it might scare her off. What should I do? Any advice would be appreciated.

I (22, male) feel uncomfortable about my girlfriend (21, female) taking shots with two guys at a bar.

Hi everyone, I’d like to get some thoughts on a situation that made me feel uneasy. Recently, my long-distance girlfriend went out to a bar with her friend, who has just become single. I’m usually fine with her going out since it’s a rare occasion and I trust her completely. However, the next morning when we talked, she mentioned being really hungover. As we discussed her night, she shared that two random guys approached them at the bar and offered drinks. She accepted because they were free, but then ended up chatting and taking shots with them for most of the night. Later on, the guys asked for their numbers, and my girlfriend declined since she has a boyfriend (me). What surprised me was that she mentioned her relationship status only toward the end of the night. Typically, I think most people would make that clear right away, especially when drinks are involved. I don’t want to come across as controlling or assume the worst, because I truly love her, but when she talked about taking shots with them, I felt a pang of anxiety. Since this is my first relationship, I know I might overreact more than usual. I’m just curious about your perspectives on this situation. Every couple has different boundaries, and for me, it was a bit uncomfortable and saddening to hear. I’m open to the possibility that my feelings might not be justified, and I’d love to hear your opinions. Was this situation okay or normal? I’m eager to learn from this and move forward. Thanks!

My boyfriend, who is 23, is unhappy that our relationship is lacking in intimacy, and I'm 23 as well.

To provide some background, my boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been together for nearly a year. In the early stages of our relationship, we were intimate frequently, although we didn’t spend as much time together as we do now. However, since around October, my desire for sex has significantly decreased. I’ve explained to him that it’s due to not being in the mood, but that seems insufficient for him, so I mentioned it might be linked to my past trauma from sexual assault. Unfortunately, he seems to doubt my feelings because he often points out that I’ve had sexual relationships with other people (30 in total) before him, questioning why I won’t be intimate with him. We've revisited this argument several times a month since October 2024. A few weeks ago, I reached a breaking point and told him that if my lack of interest isn’t enough for him to accept, he should seek out someone else who can meet his needs. He agreed that it might be best for us to part ways. However, fast forward to now, and he claims he is willing to change his perspective on sex to make our relationship work. Do you think he will genuinely change? Will I ever be able to move past his refusal to accept a simple “no” for why I’m not in the mood? I love him deeply, and while our relationship has its imperfections, there are many positive aspects. But given my past trauma and a recent incident of workplace harassment, the topic of sex holds significant weight for me. It seems like he’s finally taking my feelings seriously now that he wants to maintain our relationship. P.S. I don’t typically post on here, so if you need more information, just let me know! Thanks!

My boyfriend, who is 23, doesn't appreciate the compliments I give him as a long-distance couple, and I'm 21.

My boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) have been in a long-distance relationship since the beginning (like, US to UK distance). Being with him has helped me grow emotionally, especially considering my childhood experiences. I don't want to unload too much, but I find it challenging to be vulnerable and a bit sentimental. I've been working on this, but throughout our relationship, he hasn't really responded positively to the compliments I give him. We often send each other photos, like outfit checks, and he usually tells me I look nice or cute. I mainly share these pictures so he has them of me, rather than seeking compliments in return. However, I feel like he could use a confidence boost more often, so when he shares photos of his new outfits or workout progress, I make an effort to compliment him—like saying I like how the new shirt fits or that I can see the effort he’s been putting in. Recently, I thought I had improved in giving compliments, but he still brings it up in conversations with friends, mentioning that I struggle with compliments. This used to bother me, but now I just feel a bit helpless about it. There are numerous communication issues and emotional challenges between us, and I’m finding it hard to support him verbally, especially given the distance. With our work schedules and the time difference, we only have about 2-4 hours a day to connect during the week. I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this or what, but I really want to offer him more comfort and encouragement consistently. I want to find ways to uplift him daily, beyond just compliments (though that’s definitely something I’m trying to improve).

[30-year-old female] and [36-year-old male] - seeking assistance with relationship issues and FIFO (fly-in fly-out) work challenges.

**Seeking Advice from Male FIFO or DIDO Workers** Hello, I’m reaching out for insights from men who have experience with working away from home, particularly in FIFO or DIDO roles, and the impact it can have on mental health, physical well-being, intimacy, and family life. My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years. I’m 30 and he’s 36, and we have three children aged 8, 3, and 5 months. For the past seven years, he has been the sole breadwinner while I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. Until last year, he worked locally and was home for dinner every night. However, during my pregnancy with our daughter, he took a night shift job with a rotating roster of two weeks on and one week off. This change took a toll on both our relationship and his mental and physical health. Since that job ended in August, he has struggled with his mental health and feels disconnected from the person he once was. He no longer finds joy in activities he used to love and has lost interest in our intimacy, which was never an issue before. He recently started a new job with a 4 days on, 5 days off and 5 days on, 4 days off schedule. We’re actively working on his mental health through counseling, cutting out alcohol, and trying new diets, and I fully support him in these efforts. However, I would be grateful for advice from men or women who have faced similar challenges: How did the long hours and stress of being the financial provider affect your mental health and sex life? What kind of support would you have wanted from your partner during tough times? How did you navigate through darker moments, and what ultimately helped you? I miss the man I married and our intimacy. While I want to help him, I’m unsure of what additional steps I can take, as I haven’t experienced his specific struggles. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

I believe I'm experiencing performance anxiety with my boyfriend, who's also 23, and we've been together for three years.

My boyfriend and I share a wonderful and close relationship, and just four months ago, we moved in together. For the past three years, I’ve had no issues with intimacy; in fact, I couldn’t keep my hands off him. Even when he lived in a student house, that didn’t hinder us at all. Lately, though, I’ve been experiencing some nervousness when things start to heat up, to the point where I feel like giving up, even though I still want to have sex. I haven't lost any feelings for him; it’s just that I’m facing a block in getting things going. I’m extremely attracted to him, and moving in together has actually strengthened our relationship in many ways. I’m feeling confused at this point. I still have a high sex drive, and once we get over this hurdle, everything goes well. But I’ve been finding it increasingly difficult to initiate intimacy lately. I can't quite identify the reasons behind this, so if anyone has had a similar experience, I’d appreciate your insights. I really want to resolve this issue, as I fear it’s becoming a concern for him too. I worry he might think I’m losing interest, which couldn’t be further from the truth. I want to mention that he fully understands and respects me, and we’ve discussed this extensively. However, talking about it hasn’t helped much, as I truly can’t pinpoint the cause.

My girlfriend [20F] and I [20M] are experiencing some difficulties in our relationship, and our intimacy has started to feel more awkward lately.

I want to share a bit about my situation. I have some traits of autism that make it challenging for me to fully grasp how others react, which can come off as strange or even rude. I've discussed this with my partner multiple times, emphasizing that my intentions are always good and that I never aim to be disrespectful. However, this, combined with some confusing communication from my partner, leaves me constantly questioning my actions and words. I try to be understanding, especially knowing how frustrating I can be to engage with when emotions are running high, and I genuinely want to be understood. My partner enjoys exploring spicy sex and roleplay but is also grappling with severe depression and borderline personality disorder (BPD). This puts me in a tough position because, while I want to meet their needs and engage in intense roleplays that align with their high sex drive, I don’t always feel safe doing so. This dynamic isn't solely about sex, but that's been the most pressing issue for me lately, as intimacy holds significant meaning to me and is a sensitive topic. My partner is easily hurt and finds pleasure in humiliation during sex, which often blurs the lines between roleplay and genuine feelings. I'm trying to maintain communication by using safe words and checking in, but they often shy away from discussing their feelings. When I ask too many questions, hold back during sex, or hesitate to commit to the roleplay, I worry that I'm letting them down, as they sometimes feel like I'm no longer attracted to them. I want to show them that I care and that I also want to enjoy our sex life, but honestly, I’m uncertain about my level of attraction compared to the past. I feel like I'm putting in a lot of effort without reciprocation, yet there are so many expectations placed on me. Recently, my partner discovered they enjoy playing a parental role, which I do find intriguing. However, I need to feel more aroused before engaging in that scenario; otherwise, it can catch me off guard and make me uncomfortable. There seems to be an expectation that I should be able to get turned on simply by them expressing this desire. But that’s not how it works for me. In many instances, I feel like I'm doing all I can, yet I require a bit of time and affection to get in the mood. When I'm immediately thrust into heavy sexual activities, it can feel overwhelming. I struggle to articulate this to my partner without them thinking that my lack of arousal equates to a lack of attraction or makes them feel like a failure as a partner. I have difficulty reading emotional cues at times, and my attempts to communicate my feelings often miss the mark, leading to misunderstandings. It feels like a cycle of self-pity and questioning whether I’m not loving my partner enough. I'm feeling stuck and out of ideas. While I’ve always valued open communication and we've made progress in some areas, the sexual aspect remains a struggle for me. When I do connect and feel aroused, I'm happy to provide what my partner desires, yet they often perceive it as me only being interested in meeting their needs. I sense that sex has become primarily about fulfilling their desires, leaving my own needs unexpressed. This might sound negative, but I genuinely love my partner. They can be incredibly affectionate, and they do apologize sincerely when they have emotional outbursts. I believe their behavior is influenced by their BPD; I don’t see them acting out of malice or intent, but rather as someone grappling with their feelings. Lately, I feel overwhelmed and self-critical, wondering if I’m a bad partner. I’d appreciate any outside perspectives that could help me navigate this situation. I'm aware I'm only presenting my viewpoint while trying to remain objective. I feel pressured into sexual situations, leading me to question whether my lack of desire indicates a lack of love, all the while feeling like my body is being used without my satisfaction. I'm looking for opinions, tips on managing relationships where a partner has BPD, and suggestions on how to communicate my feelings effectively.

What can I do to improve my relationship with my boyfriend [20M]?

My boyfriend and I have faced challenges, including issues of infidelity and his tendency to neglect his role as a partner. I'm looking for advice on how to navigate these difficulties. We often argue about his habit of taking hours to reply to my texts while he's busy playing video games. Despite my efforts to suggest communication strategies, he struggles to implement them, and he seems to find it hard to be more involved in my life. Since we're both young and each other's first experiences in many ways, I genuinely want to help him grow into a better boyfriend and, one day, a better husband. We're currently in a long-distance relationship due to college, and our families expect us to marry in the future. I’m seeking suggestions on how I can encourage him to be more engaged in our relationship and improve overall. Are there any books or resources that might be helpful?

I [43f] struggle with the decision of whether to leave or take a chance on being with him [40M], especially since he mentioned that our relationship wouldn't work if his family doesn’t accept me in the future.

We worked together for over eight years, maintaining a close professional relationship without becoming personally connected. However, in the past two years, things shifted between us, and we've developed a deep personal bond and fallen in love. Although we've had an on-and-off dynamic due to our cultural differences and uncertainties, we always find our way back to each other, realizing how much we care. Our communication is strong, and we openly discuss our differences. We frequently talk about how to resolve issues, what we can compromise on, and what we cannot, which I believe is a sign of a mature relationship. He's even shared his vision for our future together. There's one significant concern that weighs on my mind: he mentioned that if his family does not accept me in the future, our relationship would not work out. That thought breaks my heart. I believe that our love can overcome any obstacle, while he feels that he would fight for us but would ultimately have to end it if his family disapproves of me. I’m caught between staying to see how things unfold, which might lead to heartbreak, or leaving now, facing the pain, and seeing where life leads me. We’re not young anymore, but we’re not old either. I'm hesitant to waste time, yet I'm uncertain if I’ll ever find such love and compatibility with anyone else.

My boyfriend, who is 22 years old, confessed to me that he has a pornography addiction. I'm 22 as well.

For context, my boyfriend (22M) and I (22F) are in our senior year of college and have been in a relationship for five years. Back in February, we had a big argument because I discovered that his spam Instagram account was filled with pictures of nearly naked girls. I ended up crying, and we spent four hours discussing it. Recently, I checked his Instagram link history and found a lot of OnlyFans links and other adult-oriented sites and Twitter accounts. I'm feeling really uncertain about what to do next. At this point, I’m not sure if he will stop this behavior, as it has been ongoing throughout our relationship. He claims it's an on-and-off thing when it comes to watching porn. Additionally, he “deleted Instagram” and turned off his activity status. When I confronted him about this, he said he didn't want to hurt my feelings by being on the platform. He also still likes photos of all his exes (21F) and, early on in our relationship, his friend—who is known for cheating—sent him a bikini photo of his ex on Instagram. I’m looking for advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation, especially regarding the first part of what I mentioned.

I [24F] am considering ending my relationship with my boyfriend [26M]. Am I being unfair or do I have a valid reason?

To provide some context, we've been dating for about six months. I've been reflecting on our relationship because I feel that our communication isn't as strong as it should be, and for me, effective communication is essential. I brought this up with him, but his typical response was to make jokes instead of engaging in serious discussions. He did make an effort to communicate more genuinely a couple of times, but lately, he tends to say only one or two things before defaulting to “you’re right” or “I’m sorry.” I’m not someone who thinks I’m always right or incapable of making mistakes. I’m more than willing to admit when I've erred. Communication should be a two-way street, but instead of having open and honest dialogues, I’m met with surface-level responses that feel dismissive. This makes me feel frustrated for simply wanting to communicate, and it often shuts down our conversations. If I try to elaborate, I’m told I’m dwelling on it or can’t let it go. Another concern is social media. While I’m not an avid social media user, I do have accounts and occasionally update my profile picture. His Facebook settings make it so that he has to send friend requests, and despite having brought this up before, he has never requested me as a friend. The same goes for Instagram—his account is public, while mine is private. It bothers me that he doesn’t seem curious enough about my life to add or follow me. Additionally, he rarely asks me questions about myself. I’m quite inquisitive and love learning about others, so I can’t help but feel a little off comparing my curiosity to his apparent lack of it. I’ve tried to drop hints or share open-ended stories to pique his interest, but he rarely takes the bait. In my past relationships, I’ve never encountered anyone who was so indifferent. Isn't wanting to learn more about someone you're dating—and who claims to love you—a standard expectation? Lastly, there are moments when he says he’s going to bed early, takes a rare nap, or claims his phone died. Sometimes I accept these statements, but other times they raise my suspicions. This has happened a few times during conflicts or uncomfortable discussions, and it feels like he expects me to take them at face value. He has also recently turned off his active status on Facebook, which makes me wonder if it’s to prevent me from catching him in a lie during those odd moments. These occurrences aren't frequent or prolonged, but they still make me uneasy. For context, we don't live very close—about a 1.5-hour drive apart—but we do see each other fairly often. I would appreciate any feedback on whether my concerns are valid or if I might be overthinking things. Thank you for your advice.

[26M][25M] What should I do about the communication issues in my relationship?

I've been seeing this guy for a little while now, and while our time together feels great, I've been feeling uneasy about our communication when we're apart. Not too long ago, we discussed this issue. I expressed that I would appreciate more consistent communication—not constant texting, but simple daily check-ins like “How's your day going?” or “What are you up to?” He acknowledged my request, but since then, not much has changed. After we hang out, he often goes quiet for a day or two without reaching out. Usually, it's me who initiates the conversation or checks in on him. For instance, after our last date, we both agreed to let each other know when we got home. He didn’t message me, so I reached out first. He eventually replied kindly, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m the one keeping our connection alive. I understand that everyone has different communication styles and not everyone feels the need to text frequently. I'm not expecting constant communication. However, when someone agrees to a commitment and then fails to follow through, it leaves me questioning where I stand. I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one investing effort. Right now, I’m uncertain about how to interpret this situation. I care about him, but I'm beginning to feel worn out by the unequal level of effort. It’s tough to decide whether I should accept his communication style as is or if I’m just setting myself up for disappointment.

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