Relationship advices

What should we do? Conflict of opinions.

I've been dating my girlfriend for about three months now, and recently, our friend group added a new member that a third of us don't get along with. I really can’t stand this guy—I'll call him John—because he's arrogant and tends to exclude me from conversations. They even created a separate group chat that I’m not part of. Yesterday, my girlfriend mentioned she removed everyone from her Snap, keeping only her best friend's boyfriend and John. She knows I can't stand him, so it really bothers me that he's the only guy she chose to keep. When I subtly hinted that it upset me, she responded, “He’s my friend,” and asked if I had a problem with that. What should I do?

I'm wondering if it's wrong for me to feel hurt before I reach my breaking point. [23f] and [23m]

My boyfriend (23M) and I have been through a tough few weeks, but he mentioned that he can't afford to celebrate Valentine's Day this year. Last night, we ordered pizza, drinks, and dessert, then relaxed on the couch watching a movie and some funny YouTube videos—it was nice. However, today he spent nearly $20 on a vape. Earlier, I had reminded him of that year when we were both broke and managed to get all the half-price stuff the day after Valentine's. When I brought that up, he said, "I can’t afford it right now." I can't help but feel hurt about it. I'm [23F] and he's [23M].

Unsure about whether to end my 10-year relationship... just venting.

I [30F] began dating my fiancé [30M] a decade ago. We had mutual friends but had never crossed paths until one day, after engaging with each other's posts on social media, he reached out to say I was cute and wanted to get to know me. Our connection blossomed into an engagement, and we've been engaged since 2018. However, during our relationship, he has crossed boundaries that I'm uncomfortable with, such as suggesting to old female friends that they should hang out like the old days. One significant boundary for me is that I dislike him interacting with women’s pictures on social media, especially since that’s how our relationship started. I also find it disrespectful when he likes women’s selfies or bikini photos while we’re in a relationship. I've explained how upsetting this behavior is for me and how it may appear to others. He apologized sincerely and even stepped away from social media for a while, but when he returned, I discovered he was still engaging in the same behavior. In September 2024, when I confronted him, he expressed remorse again, but I felt frustrated and told him I couldn’t accept his apology since true remorse would mean he wouldn’t repeat the behavior. I considered ending the relationship, but it's been ten years, and I’ve never been on my own. Our 10-year anniversary in January 2025 was disappointing. I surprised him with a sexy dress, but his brief response of “yeah” left me holding back tears all day. Unfortunately, I discovered again that he was still liking and interacting with women on social media in January, including a specific woman we both worked with whom I’ve already expressed my discomfort about. I do everything for him—I cook, clean, and cater to his needs. I don’t have male friends at work because he feels uncomfortable with it, claiming that my interactions imply I have an "interest" in them. I have no friends, and my family isn’t supportive, so he is my only source of companionship. During the pandemic, I created a gaming Instagram to try to connect with others, but that seems to bother him too. I could elaborate further, but I’ll stop here. I recognize what I need to do about my situation, but I would really appreciate some outside perspectives.

fostering a harmonious relationship

I’m a 27-year-old man, and my girlfriend, who is 26, and I have been together for approximately five years, cohabitating for three of those years. About a year into our relationship, I began pursuing my bachelor’s degree while she continued to work full-time. Our schedules rarely matched up—I’d wake up early for classes, and she'd leave for work around 1:30 PM and return around 11 PM. Occasionally, we’d have an hour or two together before her shift, but for the most part, I’ve been managing shared household responsibilities—like cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry—on my own during the weekdays. Over time, I’ve felt the need to frequently remind her about shared tasks for them to be completed. While I recognize that she’s busy with work, it seems her job takes priority over everything else, including our relationship. For instance, she often rushes in the morning, leaving dishes unwashed and barely making time before heading out. When she comes home, she usually showers and relaxes on the couch watching TV, leading us to often go to bed at different times since I need to get up early. Now that I’ve completed my bachelor’s degree and am pursuing a master’s while working part-time, she continues with her full-time job under the same schedule. Recently, she expressed an interest in studying too, and I fully support her decision. She plans to apply to university in a few months, and I hope this will help us find more balance in our lives. However, I’m worried about how we’ll handle our relationship and responsibilities when she begins her studies. I’m finding it challenging to manage our current dynamics, and I have concerns about how we’ll cope if we decide to start a family in the future. I don’t want to criticize her work ethic or dedication, but I do believe there’s a disconnect in how we share our responsibilities and prioritize our relationship. I would appreciate any advice on how to discuss this situation constructively. How can we collaborate to establish a more balanced dynamic, especially as she transitions into her studies? Are there strategies or discussions that have proven effective for others in similar circumstances? **TL;DR:** My girlfriend (26F) and I (27M) have been together for 5 years, living together for 3. Our differing schedules complicate things—I’m studying and working part-time while she works full-time with late hours. I manage most household responsibilities on my own during the week, and I often have to remind her to contribute. Her job appears to be her primary focus, which leaves little time for our relationship. She plans to start studying soon, and while I hope this will bring more balance, I’m concerned about managing responsibilities and our relationship moving forward, particularly if we have kids. Seeking advice on creating a more balanced dynamic.

Has anyone been single their entire life? (18F)

I’m an 18-year-old female and have never been in any kind of relationship. Any so-called "experiences" I’ve had during talking stages aren’t worth mentioning. I don’t usually engage with guys unless they come up to me and use typical pick-up lines. (Most are aged between 17 and 23). The only way I find out if someone is interested in me or thinks positively of me is through mutual friends who share that information (like a friend of a friend making comments to my friend about me). Am I too late to start dating? Am I doing something wrong? Also, is it really common to go this long without being in a relationship, or has the internet just messed with my mind?

My boyfriend [26M] is eager to meet up with his "best friend," but I'm [26F] strongly against him seeing her [26F] again.

I'm a 26-year-old woman, and I've been in a serious relationship with my boyfriend, who is also 26, for three years. We met in college and are currently living together. Overall, our relationship is strong, but I've consistently felt uneasy about one of his friends. They've known each other since they were 13 and were best friends for many years. He has a deep attachment to her, but I've never fully trusted her. There are a few reasons for my feelings: 1. The first time I met her was before my boyfriend and I started dating, when we were just friends. Even then, she expressed jealousy about the time he spent with me instead of her. 2. Many of her friends are men who have shown romantic interest in her, and she often enjoys free dinners, rides, and other gestures commonly associated with dating. 3. She is very open about her sexuality and has been involved with multiple men within our social circle. 4. Before my boyfriend and I got together, there was an instance where they nearly had sex but stopped just short of it. I've always suspected that he had feelings for her, even though they never ended up together. I've asked him about it directly, and while he's denied having any romantic feelings, he has admitted to finding her attractive—even without me prompting him. At one point in our relationship, he got very upset with a mutual friend who commented "delicious" on a bikini photo she posted. Today, she reached out and suggested catching up. My boyfriend wants to invite her over to our place, but I'm not comfortable being around her. At the same time, I don't want them meeting alone at a café or anywhere else either. I've always tried to be an understanding girlfriend, but honestly, I wish he'd cut ties with her completely. The truth is, I don't trust either her or him when it comes to their relationship. I'm unsure if my distrust stems solely from my own insecurities or if I'm putting too much emphasis on their past together, but something about their "friendship" feels off, and I'm unsure how to navigate this situation. EDIT: Thanks for your feedback! I'm considering allowing her to come over, but I plan to invite some friends to make me feel more comfortable. I also want to clarify points 2 and 3. 2. I’m uncomfortable with how she interacts with men. While I have male friends, I have NEVER been intimate with them (unlike her with my boyfriend) or expected them to pay for everything. She seems to demand special treatment from her male friends as if she were dating them. 3. She has been involved with nearly all of her male classmates and has a tendency to get involved with her friends' boyfriends or romantic interests, which is probably why she has few female friends. She shows a lack of respect for relationships. Regarding the comment on the bikini picture, she's always flirted with that mutual friend, making comments like that. Yet, when he called her "delicious," it suddenly upset her, and her first reaction was to tell my boyfriend. I genuinely don't understand what she expected him to do about it. If one of my male friends received a similar comment from a girl he was flirting with, I’d be happy for him, not upset like my boyfriend was.

What should I do? My girlfriend constantly seems to have a health issue.

[28M] My girlfriend [29F] and I have been together for three years, and she’s a wonderful partner whom I love deeply. However, I have one ongoing concern: she frequently complains about various aches and pains. It seems like every part of her body has been a topic of complaint at some point. While I always try to be supportive, listen, and assist her without dismissing her feelings, it’s starting to become a bit overwhelming. Whenever we’re together or on the phone, there’s always something wrong—whether it’s her tooth, back, migraine, ankle, or neck, and that’s just from the last few days. I, on the other hand, lead an active and healthy lifestyle. I work out regularly and maintain a lean, muscular physique. While she doesn't exercise much, I think she looks great, and I have no physical complaints about her. I have encouraged her to adopt a healthier lifestyle, and she has made some progress in that area. Being a solution-oriented person, it’s tough for me when she constantly expresses discomfort. I feel a strong urge to help, but there’s only so much I can do, which adds stress to my life at times. We met when we were both in our mid-twenties, and she used to be quite the party girl. Now, I can’t help but feel like she’s “breaking down,” and I’m left wondering what our future may hold together. I think I just needed to vent, but any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

I discovered my boyfriend chatting with AI girls and engaging in virtual intimacy with them.

I [18F] was looking for my boyfriend's TikTok password when I stumbled upon several AI sex bot websites in his saved passwords. While I can't access some of them, there are others I can. I checked out the chats and found him acting out sexual scenarios with these bots. A lot of the time, it seems like I was pregnant while he was engaging with them. I had already caught him watching porn before, and we were trying to move past that, but now I realize he's been hiding even more from me. I'm shaking and feeling lost about what to do next. Is this cheating? Am I overreacting by seeing it that way?

Valentine's Day didn't go well for me [22F].

My partner [25M] and I [22F] usually don't celebrate Valentine's Day, but this year we wanted to do something special for each other. We've been together for three years now, so I made him his favorite breakfast and lunch, and gave him flowers and chocolate. He promised to take me out for dinner or order something nice, but after finishing lunch, he just watched movies and ended up sleeping the whole night. We didn't go out, and he didn't get me any flowers or gifts. I understand we’re facing some financial struggles right now, but I’m feeling a bit lost on how to respond or what to feel. Any thoughts or advice?

[18F] and [19M] come from a conservative, strict family background, while one of them is dating an alternative boyfriend.

What should I do in this situation? Hi, I'm [18F], and my boyfriend is [19M]. We've been in a long-distance relationship for two years, and we’re finally meeting in person this summer for the first time—I'm really excited! However, I'm feeling quite anxious. My boyfriend identifies as alternative and is goth. While he usually dresses more conventionally around important people, he still paints his nails, which I think is charming. Recently, though, he's started getting more piercings. I was okay with the changes at first, but there's a complication: I come from a conservative Slavic family, and my mom is particularly critical of visible facial piercings beyond a simple nose stud or a few earrings. My boyfriend is considering getting a septum piercing, which I know for a fact my mom would hate—especially as she already dislikes my brother’s girlfriend who has one. To be fair, her disdain is compounded by her negative views concerning the girlfriend's character. I witness my brother facing my mom's judgment daily, and I’d prefer not to experience the same backlash. I used to find my boyfriend incredibly attractive—he had beautiful hair, a charming smile, glasses, and a simple style, which made me confident that my mom would like him. Now, I'm worried about losing my attraction to him as he continues to adapt his look, even though I adore his personality. I know he’s a great person with a few minor flaws, but I just want him to stop altering his appearance in ways that might make my mom less accepting. I miss the simpler, handsome version of him. I don't want to dictate how he expresses himself, but I’m uncertain how to navigate this situation. Am I in the wrong? How can I balance my boyfriend’s individuality with my mom's expectations? Thank you in advance, and feel free to ask for any more details if needed!

Am I supposed to go?

Hey everyone, This is my first time posting on Reddit, and I'm in need of some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for about eight years now. We come from very different backgrounds; my family is close-knit and loving, while his is more independent and reserved. As a hopeless romantic, I’ve always dreamed of being a wife and having a partner to navigate through life together. When our relationship became serious, we discussed our long-term goals. I mentioned that I wanted to be married by 30, but I’ve since realized that putting a timeline on these kinds of things just adds unnecessary pressure. I did make it clear that marriage is a deal-breaker for me. I also shared my experience of being cheated on in a past relationship, which left me with trust issues that I’ve worked hard to improve through therapy. Five years in, things were going well. We were living together at my parents' house and saving for a home. However, a few days before we were about to close on the house, I received a message from a girl who claimed she had gone out for drinks with him. She provided the texts, and although nothing overtly bad was said, there was definitely flirting involved. This shattered my trust, especially because I had just expressed my excitement about being intimate with him that day. Instead of ending things then, we went through a lot of apologies and reassurances. Honestly, I was just eager to move out of my parents' house and into my own space, so I pushed through. Two years ago, he faced some challenges at work and began drinking more. This was a tough time for both of us, and we broke up for a month. When he wanted to reconcile, I agreed. During our breakup, he became close with another girl. He says he quickly got over any feelings he might have had for her, but recently, I discovered that he hid a late-night call from her and lied about it. When I requested to meet her, he refused, leading me to say we needed to break up if he couldn't be honest. Three months later, I still haven't met her. He seems to think I would just let it go, and at this point, I feel utterly numb. I don’t want to burden him with my feelings, but I also wish for a partner I can truly trust and who prioritizes our relationship. I’ve always had a bit of a needy side, wanting to be happy and share my life with my best friend. However, he often puts himself first. I don’t have savings and definitely don’t want to move back in with my parents, especially with the skyrocketing rent here. I’m currently just getting by while feeling really down, and he seems completely unaware. As I write this, I realize there might not be any straightforward advice to offer. I simply needed to express my feelings. If anyone has an outsider's perspective or thoughts, I’m all ears—even if it's just a simple “girl, leave him.” At his core, he’s not a bad person, and he does care for me in many ways, but not in others. I’m not perfect either. So, do you think it’s too complicated now, and should I just face the reality and move on?

Together yet apart, I'm unsure—female, 27, male, 56.

I'm a 27-year-old woman struggling with my relationship with my partner and the father of my child, who is 53. It feels like we’re constantly out of sync. Our circumstances are complicated—we don’t live together, and he seems to hold onto traditional views where men provide financially while women manage childcare. However, I don’t think he understands the extent of what I handle on my own. Our daughter is just 4.5 months old, and he has never cared for her alone, hasn’t woken up with her overnight, and has not stepped up as an engaged parent. He visits for a few hours each day and offers financial support, but I’ve been her primary physical and emotional caregiver since she was born. I made the decision to end our relationship on Christmas Eve because I couldn’t wait any longer for someone who wasn’t fully present. It was easier to come to terms with being a single parent than to hold onto false hopes. Yet, we never truly severed ties—we still love each other, and I wanted to maintain a positive relationship for our daughter’s sake. I thought things were improving. Today, on Valentine’s Day, he surprised me with roses and we planned to go grocery shopping and spend some family time together. However, I haven’t heard from him since 2:20 PM, and now it’s 5:30 PM. This pattern keeps repeating, and I’m so exhausted from continually giving him the benefit of the doubt. I don’t think I can keep going like this. I wanted us to stay together for our daughter, but it’s becoming too overwhelming for me. I can’t depend on him, and I feel like I’m shouldering everything alone. I’m at a loss for what to do next.

My boyfriend makes disrespectful remarks about other women when he’s with his friends.

Just as the title indicates. What’s your opinion on this? Do you engage in it within your relationships? Do you consider it disrespectful, or not? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

I, a 30-year-old male, believe my 25-year-old girlfriend is using me for sex.

I'm starting to feel like my girlfriend is using me for sex. I met her through a dating app. Our first date was at her home after just a few conversations online. I was a bit hesitant at first but decided to go for it. We spent about two hours chatting before taking a walk, but nothing physical happened that day. On the second day, she invited me over again. As I was about to leave, she kissed me, and we ended up making out for over two hours. She wasn't ready for sex at that point, which led to some rather uncomfortable moments for me, ha! This pattern continued for a while until we finally had sex, and since then, there's been no going back. The sex is fantastic, but we’re not technically in a relationship. She claims she's not ready for one, and our texting is pretty minimal. We usually meet about once or twice a week, mostly at her place, where we have sex. A couple of times I stayed overnight, and she joked that I could wake her up for more whenever. She often keeps going until I can't anymore. While I'd like to develop a proper relationship with her, she insists she doesn’t want any emotional commitment. She says we can be friends, but then she seems to get aroused easily. She asks me for help with small favors, which I always agree to. Last time, I was clear that I want either a real relationship or nothing at all, but she just said she needs time. I’ve come to think she’s not really into me, so why is she always willing to have sex? Over the past six months, we’ve mostly just been at her place, and she never makes plans to go out. I’m torn between staying friends and continuing our sexual relationship in the hope that she might eventually develop feelings for me. On one hand, I'm enjoying great consensual sex without complications, which is a dream for many guys. Plus, she’s really nice and educated. What do you think I should do?

I could use some advice as I navigate my first relationship with my girlfriend.

**TW: Suicidal mentions** Hi, I’m in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend (23F) for about six months, and I’m 18M—this is my first relationship. Lately, I've been feeling overwhelmed. My girlfriend is very emotional, while I tend to be more reserved. When she gets upset, she often isolates herself and expects complete honesty from me, which I’m fine with. However, she has maintained connections with her ex without informing me and tends to keep other matters hidden. From the beginning, she has struggled with depression, anxiety, and a clingy nature. I believed I could support her, but I’ve come to realize I’m not equipped to handle it. Weekly, I find myself helping her through suicidal thoughts, and while I would never abandon her, it’s taking a toll on me. She carries a lot of emotional baggage, and as a high school student, I’m feeling unprepared for it. At first, the age difference didn’t concern me, but now I see we’re in vastly different stages of life. She dropped out of high school, has no plans to get her GED, and expresses a lack of motivation for work or driving, choosing to live in her mom’s basement instead. Meanwhile, I have clear goals for college and my future career. This disparity feels like a maturity issue, and it’s difficult for me to support her if she isn’t making efforts to improve her situation. I find it challenging to balance her constant need for attention with my own responsibilities, including school. Mentally, I feel drained and unsure of how to proceed. I worry that if I try to end the relationship, she might become more suicidal, which I want to avoid, as I truly care about her. I just feel utterly exhausted. What should I do? **TL;DR:** I'm feeling mentally depleted in a relationship with someone who is overly dependent on me for emotional support, and I’m unsure how to navigate this.

I'm an 18-year-old guy and my girlfriend is also 18. We're facing some challenges in our relationship, and it's really affecting me. I'm not sure how to fix things. Any suggestions?

I (18m) have been dating my girlfriend (18f) for just over a year. We both attend college, but she studies in a different town 400 kilometers away, so we’re currently in a long-distance relationship. To be honest, our relationship has seen many highs and lows. We argue frequently, often about trivial things that just seem to drain our energy and time without resolving anything. One significant issue is that whenever we fight, she often threatens to break up. Phrases like "we're done," "I'm breaking up with you," and "you're the worst" have become quite common. Honestly, these have lost their impact over time. In the heat of the moment, she says hurtful and unnecessary things, and while we've discussed this before, I don’t see any real change. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me to cope with her lashing out. I genuinely love her and want to make this work, but communication feels so broken when she expresses herself this way. This pattern has been present since the beginning, and I initially thought it was my fault; I believed I needed to treat her better. I tried to brush off her insults, but lately, it’s taking a toll on my self-esteem. When I feel attacked, I find myself protecting my own feelings, which doesn’t help the situation. I take responsibility when I mess up, but it seems like she holds onto grudges and doesn’t offer forgiveness. This has deeply affected me, and I feel like I'm losing sight of who I am. Here are some examples of her comments: a) "We're done here," followed by a long message about gratitude but stating we’re ending things. b) "You aren't the only one for me," and "I deserve better." c) "Leave my life," and "I tore up your letters." d) "Don't forget I stuck around despite your issues," and "I should have found someone else." e) "My guy friends treat me better than you." She claims I make her feel this way. Here are a couple of quick stories for context. Initially, we lived in the same city, but now she’s far away for her studies. During the Diwali holidays, she visited for 10 days, but I could only spend four with her since I was traveling abroad for my dad’s birthday. Understandably, she was frustrated, but it escalated into a significant argument. I felt exhausted and couldn’t enjoy my trip, feeling torn between my commitments. In another instance, when she visited for a month, I had to attend a cadet camp for ten days. During this time, she felt neglected and claimed I was always busy with my own stuff. Now that she’s back in college, we struggle to find time together, as she’s busy with her friends and schoolwork. I make an effort to stay in touch late at night, but I often feel exhausted by the time we connect, and she doesn’t acknowledge my efforts. For example, sometimes when I wait for her to finish up, I hear, "I never asked you to wait for me." This leaves me feeling unappreciated, especially since I also manage my commitments as an athlete with upcoming matches. I once asked her for some appreciation, to which she responded that she didn’t want to be loved conditionally. I thought appreciation was vital for a relationship. While going through our old texts, I’ve noticed comparisons to others, particularly her ex. She frequently mentions how they treated her better or how friends give her more attention than I do. One time, she accused me of not putting in any effort since October, but I recently made an effort to surprise her for Valentine's Day. I traveled to her town with gifts, but I arrived two hours late due to my family’s plans. Instead of a warm welcome, she rebuffed me, upset about the wait, and later in front of her friends, she erupted in anger, saying she felt happier with them than with me. It left me feeling completely isolated and hurt. She claims I don’t manage my time well, and I disagree. I’m juggling my commitments, but when I focus on my own life, she's quick to criticize. I want to be supportive and have been there for her during her tough times. According to her, I make several mistakes: 1. I sometimes fall asleep without letting her know, which frustrates her, although I’m genuinely trying to improve that. 2. She believes there’s a lack of effort or time from me, which I find hard to understand. 3. I didn’t stand up for her during a misunderstanding with my mom, which she felt was disrespectful. 4. There are other small misunderstandings I don’t even recall. I acknowledge I may have made mistakes as well, and I want to discuss them calmly. It’s challenging to communicate with her when she gets triggered easily, and I’m unable to comfort her in those moments. She now states there's no initiative from my side, which makes me pause and reflect on our dynamic. I wonder how she would react if the roles were reversed. Relationships require effort from both parties, yet I feel like I'm constantly on the defensive. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to express my feelings, as I feel like I have to tread carefully around her reactions. It’s exhausting, and I now struggle to feel the same warmth toward her due to all the hurtful things said. If you’ve read this far, I appreciate your support. I’m feeling a bit clearer in my thoughts, and I welcome any advice or suggestions you might have. In summary, my girlfriend and I are caught in a cycle of hurtful arguments, and I find her reactions increasingly difficult to handle.

Could I get some advice about this? I'm uncertain about his behavior.

What are your thoughts on this? Ladies, what do you think? I'll try to keep this brief. I'm a newly 25-year-old woman who recently went out with a coworker, a 21-year-old man. This feels a bit young for me, but I've found him cute since our first conversation at work. Both of us have since left the job, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to hang out since he asked me out. Normally, when I hang out with a guy for the first time, if he isn’t interested in me, he wouldn’t typically pay for me and then say it wasn’t a date. However, he didn’t call it a date, even though I thought it might be since he wanted to spend time with me one-on-one and took me to dinner on a weekend. For some context: he was 20 minutes late, which left me with a negative first impression. He admitted that he didn’t check my address until just before leaving, and only then realized how far I lived. He’d had my address for about a week, so it surprised me that he waited until the last minute, especially since he already knew work was far for me. He also changed the dinner location at the last minute, which was a bit off-putting—especially since the new place is somewhat triggering for me, but I went along with it anyway. Throughout our time together, he mentioned wanting to take me to various places, and I enthusiastically agreed it would be fun! Even though it initially felt accidental, he ended up paying for my meal and made a point of saying he wanted to treat me. At times, he brought up another female coworker, mentioning how much he liked her personality and how mature she is for her age, which made me wonder if he might not be interested in me after all. However, why would he pay for my meal during our first hangout? There was even an option for separate checks on the electronic kiosk. While I realize that even if something developed between us, it would likely be short-term as he’s planning to move, I wouldn’t mind that. I also noticed I’ve initiated most of our text conversations. With Valentine’s Day approaching, I decided to ask him if he considered our outing a date. He had previously mentioned making a list of restaurants we could try, but he hadn’t brought it up since our hangout. I let him know I was okay with being friends if that’s what he wanted, as I didn’t want any confusion. He replied, saying, “I think that’s really mature of you! To be honest, I just wanted to get to know you better and hang out because you seem really cool. Right now, I’d like to be friends, but if things change, I’ll let you know.” While I appreciated his response, I can’t shake the feeling that it puts me on the back burner with his “if things change” comment. I understand that friends can treat each other, but this was a one-on-one outing between a guy and a girl—my first hangout with him, and he chose to pay. To me, paying generally indicates that it’s a date, as most of my past experiences with guys paying have been on actual dates. Can anyone shed some light on what this situation might mean? Is it possible he got cold feet afterward? We’ve continued to text normally since, but I’m still unsure.

F30 is reluctant to leave the office during lunchtime to give my husband M32 the key that I accidentally took.

My husband’s office is less than ten minutes from our home, and since he just started there recently and is quite busy, he prefers to come home for lunch (at his previous job, he always ate there). My office, on the other hand, is about a thirty-minute walk away. I'm currently in my final year of my PhD, managing research and teaching responsibilities alongside my studies, so I’m busy as well. This morning, I accidentally took both sets of keys—mine and his. He called me and asked if I could bring the keys back at lunchtime since he wouldn’t be able to get in otherwise. When I learned he was still at home, I suggested he take lunch with him to spare me the hour of going back and forth. He declined, stating that since I planned to leave at 3:30 PM for our Valentine’s dinner, leaving at 12:30 PM was close enough. Am I being unreasonable for not feeling upset with him? This isn’t the first time similar situations have occurred, and I can’t help but feel he’s being quite selfish. I’ve always tried to support him as much as possible (e.g., I do all the cooking), so it feels unfair when he doesn’t seem to accommodate me in return. We’ve been together for over five years and got married last year; we don’t have kids yet.

Complicated dynamics with a colleague

Here's the revised text: --- I’m in a situation where I could really use some outside perspective. I've been working with a woman for the past few months, and it feels like we're caught in a confusing, emotionally charged connection. I'm starting to suspect she might have strong romantic feelings for me but is resisting them, and I’m unsure how to handle it. I genuinely care about her, regardless of how things turn out. Here’s the full story: **How It All Began** - From the moment she joined my team, I noticed she behaved differently around me. She seemed especially attentive, always aware of my presence, and laughed at my comments even when she wasn't part of the conversation. This didn't go unnoticed by our colleagues, who commented on her focus on me. - Our first real interaction left me captivated; she gave me a warm, glowing smile that made me aware of her interest long before I realized it. Over time, our moments felt flirty and charged, despite her naturally shy demeanor. **The Date and the Friend Zone** - After much back-and-forth, I finally asked her out, and we had a great time at dinner and an arcade. Everything seemed to go well. - The day after the date, she informed me she didn't see me in a romantic light, describing our connection as more platonic. She mentioned that her heart was closed off due to her past with an ex who had cheated on her. - I was taken aback but respected her feelings and promised to back off. However, the very next day, she reached out to me about a topic we discussed on our date. Instead of cooling off, her demeanor changed; she became friendlier, with more smiles and palpable happiness when we interacted. Her eyes sparkled whenever I was around, which didn’t feel platonic at all. **Seeking Clarity** - After about a month of this confusing warmth, I decided to text her to ask where we stood. I expressed my confusion about the situation. She told me she thought we were on the same page and that she couldn’t see us as anything more than friends. When I questioned what went wrong on our date, she insisted that nothing happened as she hadn't meant to lead me on, even though I had never accused her of that. I acknowledged my initiative in pursuing her and assured her I wouldn't bring it up again. The day after our conversation, she saw me at work and greeted me with a soft smile and warm eyes. **When I Stepped Back** - Confusion overwhelmed me, so I decided to give us both some space by not texting her for two weeks. - During that time, her behavior noticeably shifted. She would look at me with clear irritation, avoiding eye contact and not smiling at me anymore. Once, when I asked her if she was okay, she couldn’t meet my gaze and claimed everything was fine, but I could tell it wasn’t. - Finally, I reached out and asked for her number again, as I had deleted it during my time away. She quickly provided it, but the atmosphere felt tense. **Establishing Boundaries for Work Only** - After reaching back out, I told her I enjoyed our conversations and wanted to stay connected, but she suggested we only talk at work, stating it felt strange to communicate outside of the office given our dynamic. - This took me by surprise; she hadn’t had an issue with texting before. When I questioned her about why she offered her number if she didn’t want to talk, she sidestepped the inquiry. - It felt as though she was trying to distance herself, yet not entirely. I even offered her a chance to clarify things by saying maybe I had misread our connection, but she didn’t respond. **A Week Later—A Disturbing Conversation** - A coworker brought up my parents, who were featured in a documentary regarding radioactive waste issues in our area and had both passed away due to it. Though she wasn’t part of that chat, she reacted strongly when my parents were mentioned, bolting out of the area and standing frozen three desks away, clearly uncomfortable and avoiding any further discussion. - For the rest of the day, she looked at me with a blank, almost distressed expression. I chose to look away whenever our eyes met, and since then, we haven’t interacted further. **Why I'm Confused** - If she views me solely as a friend, why is she so emotionally reactive? Why does she seem to avoid me yet make subtle efforts to stay connected, like returning my number or attempting to greet me even after setting boundaries? - If she really feels indifferent, why hasn’t she blocked me or cut ties cleanly? Instead, things remain vague, which leaves me wondering if she’s grappling with her own feelings. - Her behaviors contradict her words; she claims to see me only as a friend, but her emotional responses—like avoidance and inconsistency—tell a different story. **What I’ve Done** - I've tried to be understanding, even when her actions have hurt me. Recently, I texted her to check in since she’s been absent from work, hoping she was doing well. Although she hasn’t replied, she also hasn’t blocked me. - I want to believe she cares and is just fearful of being open, but it’s challenging not to feel confused and hurt by her avoidance. **What I Need Help With** - Is this all in my head, or does it seem like she might have romantic feelings for me that she’s suppressing? - How can I approach this situation without pushing her further away? - I genuinely think we could have something special if she would just lower her guard, but I'm beginning to feel stuck. **TL;DR:** I suspect my coworker has romantic feelings for me but is avoiding and struggling with them. Her behavior is confusing and inconsistent, leaving me uncertain about how to proceed. Any advice would be appreciated.

I'm having trouble understanding this boy.

I'm an 18-year-old female and have just started my accounting course at university. Since it's a night class, there aren't many students, but there’s one guy, also 18, who sits in the same row as me. By the second week, we began sitting next to each other because our teacher often asks us to pair up for problem-solving. We hit it off, bonding over being the only freshmen and both feeling a bit lost during lectures. I find him really attractive, and I feel like we have a strong connection. I've been trying to figure out how he feels about me. Here are some things I've noticed: - He opens up pretty easily and engages in conversation without hesitation. - He tends to mirror my reactions; for example, if the professor says something funny and I laugh, he'll laugh too—though his reaction comes a bit after mine, as if he’s waiting for my cue. - He has trouble maintaining eye contact when we’re speaking, but I catch him looking at me when I'm not facing him. - The only time he truly looks into my eyes is when we say goodbye; he waves and gives this adorable little head tilt that honestly makes my heart skip a beat. Even though I usually have a good sense of people’s relationships, I'm struggling to read him. Any advice would be really helpful!

What should I do if I, a 28-year-old man, discovered that a 24-year-old woman was recording me without my knowledge?

I’ll keep this brief. I’ve been seeing a woman for about a month. Recently, while I was intimate with her, I noticed she had her phone out, pointed down at me. When I asked her what she was doing, she pretended not to understand the question but later admitted she was recording a video of me. I requested that she delete it, but things became a bit awkward, and I decided not to confront her too much. The next day, when I dropped her off, I asked her again to delete the videos, and she seemed surprised that it upset me. I explained that it was a boundary for me and attempted to address it calmly. Fast forward a day later—she has since apologized, but I haven’t really responded. The issue is, I didn’t actually check to see if she deleted them. What’s a respectful and straightforward way for me to confirm she deleted the photos—maybe by asking for screenshots? It feels like a significant breach of trust, especially at this early stage. Edit: When I spoke to her the second time, she claimed it was just a picture, but it turned out to be six videos.

How would you react if your partner did this? I truly can’t believe I’m actually putting this into words.

I’m not sure if I’m overreacting, but I (29F) just had an upsetting experience with my partner (31M). We were playfully fighting—nothing too intense or mean—but then he reacted to my request for him to clean up after himself by shoving his hand in his boxers, swiping it across his private areas, and then rubbing it all over my face, near my mouth and nose. I feel incredibly dirty and just want to rip my skin off. I genuinely feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, and having things touch my face is a huge trigger for me. I feel deeply disrespected and really upset. He has been doing things like this a lot more frequently, and while he insists it’s all in good fun, it’s making me feel really uncomfortable and confused.

I had a disagreement with my mom and the guy I'm talking to.

I've been talking to a guy for a few months (I'm 18F and he's 19M), and while we've met up before, I avoided telling my mom about him. She tends to make me feel uncomfortable, shares everything with our family, and adds unnecessary pressure on me. Anyway, yesterday he came to visit me. He lives about three hours away by train, and while we were sitting in my car chatting, we checked the train schedule for his return. It was nearly 10 PM, and all the trains were getting canceled, with the next one not leaving until 6 AM the following day. We were unsure of what to do, and I was hesitant to inform my mom, so I suggested staying with him until 6 AM. However, he was uncomfortable with that idea and encouraged me to tell my mom about him and ask if he could stay over. I had no problem with him staying since he’s very respectful and wouldn’t do anything to make me uncomfortable. I texted my mom to let her know, but she got really upset that I hadn't mentioned him earlier. She called all my friends and their parents, asking if they knew who he was. They all recognized him and reassured her that he was fine, but she still didn't believe it and insisted he couldn’t stay. I understood her concerns since she had never met him before, so I told her I would wait with him until the train and suggested we leave it for now and talk later. This led to a huge argument, and she forced me to come home. Meanwhile, he ended up booking a hotel, and I took him to the train station the following day. Now my mom has informed the whole family and is angry with me for not being upfront. I've tried explaining how uncomfortable she makes me feel when I share things with her, but she thinks I'm overreacting. I haven’t spoken much to the boy since; he mentioned he needs time to process everything that happened. He had warned me this could be an issue and that I should mention him to my mom, but I didn’t listen. Now I regret it because I feel like I've messed up both my relationship with him and with my mom. I’m really upset about the situation. I was crying so much after dropping him off that I could hardly drive home, and I just don’t know what to do now.

I would like to hear your thoughts.

Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for three months, and overall, things have been going well. However, I've noticed this recurring issue that's making me feel like she might not fully trust me. She tends to share a lot with her friends but keeps things from me. Is this a cause for concern? I'm starting to feel uneasy about her level of trust in our relationship.

Feeling Overwhelmed by Relationship Expectations—Seeking Guidance

I'm a 20-year-old man, and I've been dating my girlfriend, who is 18, for six months, although we've been hanging out for about nine months. Recently, we've been arguing frequently over both minor and larger issues, and I'm unsure how to address it. 1. **Time Together vs. Independence**: She prefers to spend almost all of our time together, which is challenging for me due to work, university, and sports commitments. I also try to meet up with friends once or twice a week, but when I do, she often messages me, expressing feelings of being ignored—even during my work hours. 2. **Going Out Without Her**: I rarely participate in boys' nights out, maybe just once or twice a year. However, whenever I do, she becomes upset, saying she’s "not okay with it," and questions my desire to go out. Afterward, she tends to get suspicious and even smells my clothes. 3. **My Female Friend**: I have a female friend whom I've known for years and who is in a long-term relationship, but my girlfriend disapproves of her. On the other hand, she has male friends (some of whom have shown interest in her before), and I don’t make a fuss about that. When I see my female friend, my girlfriend bombards me with questions and gets upset if I don’t respond quickly. I want to respect her feelings while also maintaining my independence. How can I navigate this situation? **TL;DR**: My girlfriend wants to spend almost all our time together, is upset when I see friends (especially female ones), and doesn’t approve of my infrequent boys' nights out. She constantly messages me when I’m busy and gets suspicious. I'm seeking advice on how to find a balance between my relationship and independence.

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