Relationship advices: Dating and Starting Relationships

Relationship problem—could you please assist your girl?

I met a guy on Hinge last year, and we've been chatting since December. We quickly became friends with benefits and even started sharing photos. Recently, he proposed to me, but I responded with, “Let’s meet first and see.” Despite my hesitations, he keeps pushing the idea that we’re dating now. The thing is, he doesn’t message me very often, and sometimes takes over six hours to respond, claiming he was busy. While I don’t see any signs of him being with someone else, I'm feeling uncertain. Most of our conversations happen at night, and when we do talk, he’s sweet and reassuring, insisting he wouldn’t cheat and that he wants to be the best partner for me. We have plans to meet this week, but I’m feeling conflicted. Should I wait until we meet to express my feelings, or should I bring up his erratic communication beforehand? Am I wasting my time, or is there something I'm overlooking?

Not really looking for advice, just expressing some frustration.

I'm a 33-year-old Latina woman, never married and without children. I've built a fulfilling career and take good care of myself. I've traveled extensively, have a vibrant social life, and a lot of friends! I’m a natural nurturer — I enjoy cooking and keeping my home tidy... and yet, I feel profoundly lonely. It's been eight years since I was last in a relationship. I've tried dating and had some situationships, but nothing ever seems to last. I've faced infidelity, been misled, and heard that I'm either too much or not enough—it's exhausting. What I truly long for is someone who wants to be with me, to enjoy a movie together sometimes, to be my best friend, to share dinners, to hold hands, and share tender moments. Casual encounters feel so empty and monotonous. I know I'm not unattractive, both in appearance and personality—it’s easy to get along with me. My friends are just as confused as I am about my dating life. Earlier this year, I decided to embrace being single, convincing myself I could do it forever and that I was content—only to find myself drawn to someone who reignited my hope of finding "the one." Then it was all dashed when I was told I’m “too much.” I’m just... so tired of all this. I’ve tried stepping outside my comfort zone to date different types of guys, but still, nothing seems to stick. I'm genuinely scared that I might never find someone special, that I may never have a chance to have my own children, or to have my person to share my life with. It's incredibly disheartening. I'm weary of juggling multiple connections without any real fulfillment. I wish there was someone who could offer me some comfort, yet I feel vulnerable sharing this with friends. It’s like I’m being overlooked, as if God isn’t listening to me at all. I truly feel isolated and unwanted.

Please assist me.

I recently started dating a girl I’ve had a crush on for a long time. Normally, I don’t consider myself an awkward person, but now I find myself feeling anxious about hugging and kissing her. I’m trying to understand why I feel this way. In my past relationships, I met my partners online and felt confident enough to be affectionate when we first met. However, this girl has been my best friend for nearly four years, and I wonder if that affects my nerves. I’m hoping to figure out why I feel so awkward and how I can overcome it.

Do guys prefer virgin girls?

I'm 29 years old and still a virgin. I'm curious—do guys find this off-putting when they first meet a girl? Is it considered strange? I’d love to hear your opinions!

Is the age difference inappropriate in high school?

To sum it up, I (16m) reached out to a girl (14f) without knowing her age; she initially seemed around my age. She first told me she was 16, which I believed, but later confessed she was actually 14. Here’s the dilemma: I usually don’t care much about what others think, as long as I’m comfortable with the person I'm with, but this situation has me feeling uncertain. She’s aware of my feelings for her—I’ve told her I think she’s beautiful since we started chatting. I really like her, but I’m unsure whether it’s socially acceptable for us to continue talking. While I generally disregard others' opinions about my choices, I’d like to hear some outside perspectives on this.

18-year-old seeking guidance on how to meet and connect with women.

I haven't had much luck with dating. I've connected with a few girls who seemed genuinely interested; we would text every day. However, after a few weeks, that communication dwindled to almost nothing. I'm unsure how to maintain their interest, and I struggle to meet new people. It feels like I'm stuck. I know this might come off as forward, but I really want to be in a relationship, yet it seems like no one is interested in me. How can I become more socially engaged with women? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

(19M) I've developed feelings for a friend (18F) I recently met at a school seminar. Over the past two weeks, I've sensed a strong connection between us, and I believe she might feel the same way. Should I express my feelings to her?

She (18F) and I (19M) met at a seminar at school, and by the last day, we really clicked. Since then, our relationship has been wonderful. I invited her out three days later to play badminton and just have a good time, and we genuinely enjoyed ourselves—no awkward moments, just the pleasure of each other's company. That's also when I started to feel attracted to her, as I’d never met anyone who appreciated my company quite like she does. Now, I'm torn about whether or not to express my feelings. Honestly, I'm not ready to officially pursue a relationship yet, but I don't want her (or myself) to think I'm only interested in friendship. I really want something deeper, but considering we've only known each other for about two weeks, it feels a bit premature. I’m thinking of telling her on our next outing that I’m attracted to her but not ready to court her yet since we don’t know each other well enough and I need more time. Should I go ahead and tell her this, or should I hold off? I'm nervous about her reaction, and I might be overthinking her feelings toward me. What should I do?

I'm looking for assistance with my relationship situation.

I'm a 24-year-old guy, chatting with a 24-year-old woman. We've been seeing each other for about a month. The first two weeks were fantastic—we texted constantly, spent a lot of time together, and had plenty of flirtation. We discussed our views on relationships and discovered how much we aligned on what partners should be to each other. She mentioned that she had never liked anyone as much as she likes me and enjoys our time together. We went on three dates without sharing a kiss. She's never had a boyfriend before but has been intimate with one person. She wanted to take things slowly, which I was perfectly okay with since I have substantial relationship experience. After our third date, we decided to go get a Christmas tree as a sort of fourth outing. Once we brought it back to my place and settled on the couch, I leaned in to kiss her. Though a bit nervous since it had been over a year since her last kiss, she kissed me back. We hugged to ease the tension, and then a minute later, we shared another kiss—this one was incredible and felt like we were making out. She expressed how happy she was that I kissed her, saying she was planning to do it if I hadn't. As it was time for her to leave—I had to get to work—we shared another kiss in the elevator and said goodbye. Everything felt fantastic, and we texted all night about the amazing kisses and butterflies we both felt. We made plans for the next day to watch Christmas movies, decorate the tree, and attend a lantern festival about an hour and a half away. The next morning, she messaged me saying we should skip the festival because it would be too cold and too far away. I was a bit disappointed but still excited to see her and watch movies. When she arrived, something felt off. I opted for a hug instead of a kiss. After we set up the tree, I suggested visiting a Christmas light display afterward since it would be closer. She said maybe but that we needed to talk first. Then she told me, "I think we need to be friends." My heart sank. We talked through her reasons: she felt things were moving too fast, wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and wanted to just be friends—no kissing or flirting, but we could still hold hands and cuddle. We spent a few hours hanging out, cuddled up on the couch watching movies, while I fought back tears. It felt so right between us, and I couldn't understand why she wanted to step back. Now, about two weeks have passed. She's brought up the "friends" thing several times, yet we still cuddle and hold hands when we're together. She has expressed being scared and mentioned she's a "friends to lovers" type of person. I'm left feeling confused and somewhat hurt, questioning if I’m just a way for her to enjoy free dates or if she genuinely intends to be friends until she feels ready for a relationship. I want to continue pursuing her, but I'm unsure whether to strictly act as a friend or to maintain some level of romantic or flirty behavior. I could really use some advice.

Is one month too soon for this pace in a relationship?

Is it too soon to spend the night at your significant other’s place after just a month of dating? And sharing a bed as well? What do you think?

Exploring Situationships: Navigating the Gray Zone of Contemporary Dating

Situationships – that ambiguous territory between a full-fledged relationship and something casual that many of us seem to fall into at some point. They can be messy and perplexing, often leaving us questioning our own choices and intentions. Recently, it appears that situationships have become the norm in the dating landscape. Perhaps it’s driven by a fear of commitment, a desire to keep options open, or simply a breakdown in communication. But let’s face it: it’s not always enjoyable. You might find yourself asking: Are we exclusive? Do they genuinely care about me, or am I just an option? Why can’t we just put a label on this? On one side, situationships can offer a relaxed and adaptable vibe. You’re just enjoying each other’s company, right? Yet, on the flip side, they can be exhausting, especially when one person desires more than what the other is ready to offer. So, let’s discuss: 1. Are situationships a natural outcome of today’s dating scene, or are they simply a result of poor communication? 2. Have you experienced a situationship? What was the outcome? 3. Any tips for moving from ambiguity to clarity? I’m eager to hear your insights!

What should I buy my boyfriend for our first Christmas together?

It's our first Christmas together, and he mentioned that he’s spent over £50 on me. I’d like to match that amount for him, aiming to neither overwhelm nor underwhelm him. I appreciate that he shares his interests and passions with me. However, he often buys himself what he wants, so I need to be cautious to avoid getting him something he might end up treating himself to instead. I’m looking for ideas that he hasn’t explicitly mentioned, so I have a broader selection to choose from. Thanks!

21M, why am I still single?

Hey everyone! I hope you’re all doing well. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on why I’m still single, and I could really use your insights. A little about me: I’m a 21-year-old guy, standing at 1.96m and weighing around 98kg. I’ve worked hard for my athletic build, and I like to think I have a decent level of intelligence. Plus, I have a great taste in music that seems to resonate with many people. On paper, I check a lot of boxes that people typically look for. Yet, I find myself navigating the dating scene alone, which makes me question whether it’s just a matter of timing, my dating approach, or something else entirely that I might be missing. I’d love to hear your perspectives. Has anyone else faced a similar situation? What do you think might be contributing to my single status? If you’re interested in offering some advice, feel free to check out my Instagram: @silvah.tv. I can’t wait to hear your stories and suggestions. Thanks for taking the time to read this!

I've been dating this guy (40m) for a month, but he always chooses date locations just 5-10 minutes from his place. Then, he lies and says it takes him twice or three times that long to get there. What should I do?

I've been dating a guy for a month now, and he lives in a different city, about 30 minutes away from me—sometimes a bit longer. He did share his general area, but I managed to find out his exact location. I've noticed that every time he plans our dates, they are always set just 5 to 10 minutes from his place, which ends up taking me 30 to 40 minutes to get there. Although he pays for all our outings (even though I’ve offered to split), what bothers me is that he often claims he’s trying to find a location that’s convenient for both of us. He also exaggerates how long it takes him to get there, saying it takes him double or even triple the time, when in fact, the places are just around the corner from him. I've tried suggesting dates that are further away, but he always suggests meeting closer to him instead or complains about parking. He has come to my city once, which was nice, and he brought me food once after I canceled a date because I was tired. I did feel a bit turned off by how he handles our date planning, especially when he lies about travel times. He even mentioned he was worried I would stop seeing him because I canceled. I'm confused about his intentions. If our relationship gets more serious and he invites me over, I’ll eventually uncover the truth. Since I have a general idea of where he lives, I wonder if he's truly serious about me. I feel awkward bringing it up since he seems unaware that I know his location. In brief: I've been dating this guy (40) for a month, and he consistently chooses places just a short distance from his home while telling me it takes significantly longer to reach them.

22 male and 23 female

22M Hey, I've been dating my girlfriend, who’s 23, for about six months. A week ago, she invited me to a Friendsgiving event. I haven’t seen her much lately because she’s been busy with family. The plan is for everyone to hang out and then go out for drinks afterward. I work full-time, and I'm not really into drinking. Yesterday, I checked in with her to see if she still wanted me to come, and she mentioned that she doesn’t know many people there and that everyone will be drinking. Am I overthinking this? I can’t shake the feeling that she might not actually want me to be there, but when I asked her, she promised that wasn’t the case.

Seeking Guidance

I'm a 33-year-old female and recently reconnected with a friend who's 34. A few years ago, we dated for about nine months, but he wasn't ready to make it official, which led me to walk away. That really hurt me, especially since he had expressed that he didn't want children, while I was still undecided. When we reconnected, I was in another relationship that lasted eight months, so I thought it was best to just be friends. I even considered setting him up with my best friend, who is also 33, believing it would be a good arrangement since both of them seemed interested. I mentioned that my friend wanted kids, and he told me he was open to that now. When I asked about his previous reluctance, he explained that he wouldn't want kids with someone he didn't think would make a good parent (that hit hard). After my breakup a month ago, we ended up becoming intimate. However, I had promised my best friend that we could all move in together once my lease ends, and she has no idea about my recent connection with him. While having him back in my life makes me incredibly happy, I can't shake the fear that he might still be hesitant to commit. Why did he avoid a serious relationship back then, and what has changed now? Plus, I can't help but think about how he considered dating my best friend only a few months ago and was willing to have kids with her, but not with me. What does this mean for our living situation? I would really appreciate some advice on this.

What strategies can I use to support her in overcoming her anxiety while still validating her emotions?

I apologize for the length of this post, but I think it’s important to provide all the details. I'm a 24-year-old male, and I've been close friends with a 26-year-old female for over five years. Our chemistry is so apparent that our friends have even started betting on when we'll finally get together. Throughout our friendship, we've experienced both highs and lows, yet we always find our way back to one another. When we first started spending time together, I had a major crush on her and confessed my feelings. She didn't reciprocate, which hit me hard as a teenager. After some time apart, I apologized for my immature behavior, and we began hanging out again. A couple of years later, she took the initiative to ask me out. I was thrilled since my feelings for her had never really faded. However, she began canceling our dates last minute, claiming she felt ill. Given that it was during the COVID pandemic and she suffers from OCD and medical anxiety, I tried to be patient. But after several months of cancellations, I started to doubt her feelings for me and ended our relationship. A few months ago, I learned that she genuinely liked me and wanted to be in a relationship, but her nerves made her feel sick, which broke my heart. Despite this, we continued to hang out in group settings while I focused on moving on. I attempted to date other people, but it never felt right. Spending time with her just felt natural. This summer, I confided in her about feeling lonely, and a few weeks later, she made a move on me at a friend's wedding. I was taken aback and initially resisted, but soon we started spending a lot of time together, doing date-like activities such as having brunch in the suburbs or just driving around, essentially dating without labeling it. One of our mutual friends noticed this dynamic and encouraged me to have a conversation about our relationship status. I expressed my feelings and desire for a relationship, and she felt the same way, which seemed promising. However, shortly after, she started experiencing anxiety again. I recognize this is largely due to her nervousness; I even witnessed it firsthand. Last week, she pushed herself to join me for dinner despite having a panic attack upon arrival. I helped her calm down, and we ended up having a lovely evening. Then, she canceled our plans for Sunday, citing the same issues. I'm determined not to give up on her this time, but I also don't want to remain in this ambiguous "dating" phase without clarity. I’m unsure how to approach this conversation without invalidating her feelings and suggesting she isn’t genuinely unwell. I’m seeking advice, but my friends and family have their own biases about our situation, so I’m not sure who to turn to. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Help me out, Reddit!

I'm looking for advice regarding a girl from Peru.

I’m an Indian and I've been chatting with a Peruvian girl for the past 20 days. I’m looking for advice on how to maintain our relationship. We haven’t met in person yet; our connection started on Instagram. She shared her WhatsApp number with me, and I’d like to get some guidance on how to approach this. She recently called me on a video call, but I'm not very proficient in Spanish, and she's not great at English either. These days, we chat for about four hours. She primarily speaks Spanish.

Did She Feel the Same Way, or Was I Just Dreaming?

I recently experienced something that's been consuming my thoughts. There's this colleague of mine—let's call her Anna—who I've had a crush on ever since we first met. She's intelligent, funny, and incredibly easy to communicate with. There's an effortless charm about her, and I’ve found myself daydreaming about her more times than I’d like to admit. A few days ago, our team went out for lunch. We were a large group, with lots of conversation and laughter around the table. I went in expecting just a typical lunch experience. Suddenly, in the midst of it all, Anna turned to me and said, “Hey, could I borrow your spoon? Mine broke.” What struck me was that we were among at least ten people, each with their own utensils. For some reason, she chose to ask me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was significant—was I overthinking it? When she asked, it felt like a little spark ignited in my chest. Why me? Why not someone else? I handed her my spoon, and we exchanged a brief smile. I didn’t want to create any awkwardness, so I returned to my food and continued chatting with everyone. But later, as I replayed that moment in my mind, I started to wonder—was this meaningful, or am I just imagining things? Here's the catch: she’s in a relationship and has a baby. I know I shouldn't read too much into it, yet I can't shake the feeling that maybe there was something more there. It wasn’t our first conversation, but it was the first time I felt she purposely singled me out from the group. Perhaps I’m overinterpreting this small moment because of my feelings for her, but it keeps nagging at me. I'm curious if anyone else thinks this is something worth considering, or if I’m just projecting my feelings onto an innocent interaction. I’d hate to complicate things at work or overstep any boundaries, especially since I know she’s already committed. Still, I'm feeling a bit bewildered by her behavior. Any insights or advice would be greatly appreciated!

My (19F) talking stage (19M) is behaving oddly after our first date. Am I in trouble?

Hi Reddit, I don't have many people to turn to for advice, so I’d love to hear your thoughts on my current situation. I’ve been chatting with someone in the talking stage for about a week and a half. He's got a busy schedule, so he can't always reply right away, but he does find time during the day to keep in touch, which has been really nice. We recently went on a date, and I thought it went really well! It wasn't awkward at all; we had great conversations, and at the end, he gave me a kiss. Just five minutes after I left, he texted to say he enjoyed seeing me. However, since that date, his responses have drastically slowed down to just 1-2 messages a day, while we used to text more frequently. He mentioned he has a lot on his plate right now, but I can’t help but wonder—does that really prevent him from sending quick replies throughout the day? I made it clear that I want to get to know him better, and he said he "wouldn't mind meeting again." I’m starting to feel like something is off. Is he losing interest after our date? It's been a week of lackluster replies, and I can't tell if he’s being honest about his situation. I know he doesn’t owe me anything, but this leaves me feeling really confused about how to move forward. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! <3

Looking for assistance in finding a partner.

Hello! I’m looking for some advice, not about an existing relationship, but rather about how to find one. I’m a 19-year-old guy and I've discovered that I'm attracted to older women, especially those in their late 20s and early 30s. I also find myself particularly drawn to single mothers, but there's a challenge... Many women in this age group don’t seem to be interested in dating someone my age. I genuinely want to meet someone who fits this description. Does anyone have suggestions on how I might connect with someone who would consider dating someone younger?

I urgently need assistance!

I have a girl in mind, but it's not official yet. I've shared my feelings with her, but she values her independence. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to see that true independence in her situation is only possible with a supportive partner. Her home life isn't great—she comes from a conservative household and isn't even allowed to use public transportation; only the organization’s bus is permitted. I feel like I'm the only guy who genuinely connects with her. I'm her closest friend now, even though she turned me down when I confessed my feelings. She can't text me freely because her parents monitor her messages, so I haven't been messaging her much lately. However, we still spend time together at school. I’m in my final year of high school, and I only have seven days left. If I don't manage to get her into a relationship during this time, I might not have the chance to talk to her again. I'm reaching out because I could really use some advice. I know you all have more experience; I'm just 18 and could use some guidance. Please help me out!

I struggle with various mental health challenges, which makes dating more difficult for me.

Hi there, I'm a 26-year-old female looking for some dating advice. I struggle with various mental health challenges, including anxiety, ADHD, and borderline personality disorder, which makes dating particularly tough for me. Despite having a good sense of self-confidence and feeling good about my appearance, I often find it hard to communicate effectively, especially when it comes to flirting. Although many men show interest, I feel like I end up turning them off when I try to make a connection. I wish I could be quicker with my conversation skills, but it's genuinely a struggle for me. As I reach a point where I'm ready to settle down, I'm becoming increasingly scared of being alone. I want to know how to keep a conversation flowing and avoid putting undue pressure on myself given my situation. It's really frustrating, and I would appreciate any tips you can offer. Thank you!

I (21F) would like to deepen the intimacy in my relationship with my boyfriend, who is 24, and with whom I've been for 7 months.

This is my first post, and I'm really unsure where to seek advice—feeling a bit down about it, to be honest. Here goes: I’m a 21-year-old woman, and I’ve been dating a 24-year-old man for seven months as of this Friday. Overall, things have been good in terms of avoiding fights, but I've encountered some personal challenges. For context, he spent five years in the military as a Marine. He’s the first military guy I’ve dated and also the oldest. I guess I expected a more mature relationship from someone older, but it doesn't feel that way. My main concern has to do with how he treats me. While he doesn’t mistreat me, it often feels like he views me more as a friend with benefits than a romantic partner. Our communication is minimal; I only receive basic texts like “How was your day?” or “How was class?” I know we’re both busy with school, but it feels like I’m the only one making an effort. Additionally, the way he speaks with me is the same as he does with his friends. The few compliments I’ve received from him have been sparse; he’s only told me I look nice and once said I’m a 10 in my state. I don’t mean to come across as vain—I'm not the prettiest girl out there, but I have confidence in my appearance. He never uses pet names like "babe" or "baby," and we’ve yet to express our love for each other—it makes me sad because I've been in love with him for months. It seems at times that he views me primarily as a monogamous partner for sex. However, there are signs that suggest he’s serious about our future. He planned for me to meet his family in Louisiana, but his car broke down just an hour away. He’s also begun talking about our relationship in future terms and taking steps that indicate commitment. My biggest concern, though, is the emotional aspect. Recently, he's started acting strangely regarding my devices, looking through my phone and watch. I have nothing to hide, but when I ask him about it, he responds sarcastically with, “You got something to hide?” This behavior leaves me feeling disrespected and untrusted, which is confusing. I genuinely want to deepen our connection and create a more intimate and special relationship, but I’m unsure how to approach this without making things awkward or pushing him away. **TL;DR** How can I encourage my boyfriend to be more open and affectionate with me?

He's just begun to overlook me..!

He's suddenly started ignoring me...? So, here’s the backstory: My guy friend goes to a different school and wanted my friends and me to meet his group, which we did in September. There was a guy in that group with whom I kept making eye contact. After they left, my friends said they noticed it too. I thought about him for a week but then kind of moved on, assuming I'd never see him again since it was meant to be a one-time meetup and some of the others didn't really hit it off. About three weeks later, the guy I had been making eye contact with sent me a follow request on Instagram, which I accepted, and we started texting. Our conversations flowed easily; he’d give me cute nicknames and send good morning and good night messages. I felt a bit unsure at times and worried I might come off as dry because things were moving so quickly. After two weeks of chatting, we decided to meet up after school. When we finally met, it was pretty awkward. I warned him that I can be a bit shy, and he reassured me that it was okay and that we would get through it. However, I was so anxious that I ended up being quite blunt, which he commented on—saying I was hard to communicate with. He suggested we go to a nearby town, but I declined, so I just said goodbye, and he left. The meetup felt so awkward that I figured that would be the end of it. But then he messaged me to check if I got home safely and tried to keep the conversation going. Unfortunately, my reply was short and felt out of character for me. Days went by, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Instead of waiting to see if he would message first, I reached out to apologize for being awkward. He replied, "It's fine, don’t worry about it; we’re all different, lol." After that, I tried to keep the conversation going, and while he briefly responded in his usual style, he ended with another short reply. We still follow each other on Instagram, which is how we communicate. I’m at a loss about what to do. At first, I wasn't sure about him, but now I find myself feeling heartbroken. I know this story is lengthy, and I did my best to condense it, but I’m just trying to understand why things have changed and what I should do next. Hearing my friends tell me to "just get over him" or "you deserve better" isn’t helping because I genuinely want to get to know him more, but it feels like everything has come to an abrupt end, and I can’t stop feeling bad about it.

I'm a 19-year-old female, and he is an 18-year-old male.

Hello, there's this guy I’m friendly with, but I need to share something. A few days ago, he mentioned that he used to have feelings for me, although he doesn't remember when or what year. I can't shake the feeling that it might have been more recent, but I don’t want to bombard him with questions. Here's the kicker: about a year ago, he actually blocked me after I told him I liked him back in high school. I’m really confused about his actions. If anyone, especially guys, could offer some insight, I’d really appreciate it. I just want to understand his perspective.

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