Relationship advices

Dating and Starting Relationships • 16d ago

When is he going to invite me on a date?

We've been chatting for around a year and a half. He was in a two-year relationship, and I had a four-year one. I didn't expect to be ready to date again, but now I feel like I might be. We've explored many places together and spend nearly every day in each other's company. However, he still hasn't asked me out officially, which leaves me wondering if he shares my feelings. What do you all think? Do you believe he’ll ask me out by the end of the year?


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 16d ago

Experiencing difficulties with oral intimacy.

I'm a 22-year-old man in a relationship with a 19-year-old woman. To give you some context, I'm recently out of the Marines, and my cousin's wife introduced me to her coworker. This is my first relationship and her second, and we've been together for almost five months. I lost my virginity to her, and we've been intimate several times since. Overall, things are going really well, and I feel happier than I ever have before. However, something happened tonight that got me thinking. She’s currently on her period but still wanted to engage in oral activities, something we've done before without any issues. Still, since I can't reciprocate while she's on her period, I found myself feeling a bit turned off, and we ended up just cuddling. She reassured me it was fine and not to worry, but I can't shake the feeling of guilt. If the roles were reversed and I had erectile dysfunction, I'd feel self-conscious too. I want to work through these feelings but am struggling to understand why I'm feeling this way and how to address it. I’d appreciate any advice or insights on this, as well as suggestions on how to improve the situation. The night went well overall, and I truly value our relationship. However, I don’t want to disrespect her privacy by sharing too much, even in an anonymous context. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!


Dating and Starting Relationships • 25d ago

Should I, a 18-year-old female, continue seeing this 19-year-old female? She’s giving me a lot of mixed signals.

Hey, so I'm 18F and I started dating a 19F when I was 17. She genuinely seems to care about me when we text, and she even sent me dried roses in a frame for my 18th birthday. However, I'm a bit confused because she rarely initiates texts. I understand she's currently in the hospital (where she’s been for a few months), so I’m not upset about that; I know she's focusing on getting better. But even before she was hospitalized, she didn’t typically text first—maybe it’s just part of her personality? By the way, we’ve been planning dates for a month now. When we do text or call, we have really deep conversations, so it's not like we're avoiding important topics. She says she's not ready for a serious relationship but still enjoys going on dates with me. She calls me "love," sends me goodnight and good morning texts, and always asks how my day has been. It's just that she gives off so many mixed signals, and it's really challenging to figure out where we stand!


Trust and Jealousy • 25d ago

My husband (22M) wants to open our marriage to explore his sexuality, but I (26F) feel that we're not ready for that.

Hi Reddit, **Disclaimer:** I used ChatGPT to assist in organizing and clarifying my thoughts for this post, but everything shared here is true and reflects my genuine experiences and feelings. I'm in a challenging situation and need some advice. My husband (22M) and I (26F) have been together for several years, and we have a 2.5-year-old son. We eloped previously but had plans for a bigger wedding in our backyard once we could afford it. We've faced some difficulties along the way, but we've managed to work through them with couples therapy. I thought we were progressing as a couple. Last week, my husband surprised me by saying he wanted to leave. I was completely taken aback. We had been talking about trying for another child, moving to a new house, and planning our wedding, so hearing this felt like a devastating blow. I've been feeling extremely anxious, crying often, and even experiencing panic attacks. He mentioned that he doesn’t feel like himself around me and experiences anxiety in our time together. Today, we had another therapy session, which seemed productive. My husband revealed that he doesn’t want to leave after all, but instead wants to explore an open marriage. We previously attempted an open relationship out of curiosity, but it was fraught with complications. He experienced jealousy when I went on a few dates with a woman I was interested in, culminating in him blocking her number and deleting our messages after I shared a kiss with her. I initially thought I had been ghosted, but later discovered he had taken action behind my back. The most painful part came during a disagreement when he confessed that he had been involved with several cisgender women, alongside trans women—something we had discussed regarding our open relationship—despite initially telling me I couldn't have relationships with other men. He had set “rules” for our arrangement, and breaking one of the most significant ones felt like a severe betrayal of trust. It highlighted a troubling hypocrisy: he wanted the freedom to explore his sexuality while restricting mine. After that, we decided to put a halt to the open relationship and focused on therapy to improve our communication and address our issues. Fast forward to now, and my husband has shown notable personal growth. He’s dedicated himself to establishing boundaries, understanding his emotions, and enhancing our communication. I’ve genuinely appreciated his progress and thought we were on the right path forward. Now, he wants to consider reopening our relationship again. While I might be open to that possibility eventually, I feel we’re not quite ready yet. I’m supportive of his desire to explore, and I understand my own curiosities, but I don’t think we have enough trust or clear communication established to try again at this moment. I want to ensure we can openly discuss our feelings, set clear boundaries, and handle any jealousy without complications arising. I’m caught between wanting to help him explore his identity and the necessity of building more trust and communication first. If I ask him to wait until we're more stable, I worry he might decide to leave. However, if I agree now, I fear it could jeopardize the progress we've made over the past year. What should I do? Should I consent to reopen the relationship, risking the trust we've worked hard to establish, or should I ask him to hold off until we're in a stronger place, risking his departure?


Financial Issues • 25d ago

M31 cohabitating with his girlfriend, F30, for two years

I have a quick question: what would be a fair monetary contribution from my girlfriend in this situation? Here's the background: I earn £2,250 per month (after tax) working full-time (35 hours per week) in the UK. My girlfriend, whom I care for deeply, earns £850 per month (after tax) working part-time (20 hours per week). For the past few months, I've been covering all our bills, but now she wants to start contributing fairly and has asked me to suggest an amount. What do you all think? For context, I own the property, and she moved in with me from a rented place. Our total monthly expenses, including everything (groceries, bills, travel, and living costs), amount to £1,172.33. I welcome insights and calculations from both perspectives. Thank you for your help!


Communication Problems • 25d ago

M34 and I, F35, are looking for some advice.

My partner and I have been together for almost two years, and we waited three months before becoming intimate. (We don’t live together.) Before our first time, he provided me with a negative HIV test, which I thought was a thoughtful gesture and didn’t give it much thought at the time. A few months ago, he wanted to send me a piece of mail to test some eBay stamps he had purchased. When I received it, I found a blank piece of paper that contained his prescriptions. My curiosity got the better of me, and I noticed one prescription was for HIV treatment to remain undetectable and healthy. We had never discussed that he was living with HIV, so I was taken aback. Despite this revelation, I wanted to stay in the relationship and accepted his condition; we had even talked about starting a family, and everything seemed great. Recently, I started trauma therapy for some unrelated issues, and I realized that the HIV aspect was troubling me—not because he has it, but because he never really told me. My therapist recommended having an open conversation to clear the air and avoid any future misunderstandings that could jeopardize the relationship. I tried for weeks, almost a month, to initiate this talk without specifying what it was about, simply mentioning that I needed to address some feelings. Unfortunately, there never seemed to be an appropriate time. I suggested discussing it over the phone, but he always claimed to be busy. I even attempted to bring it up in person but was brushed off. Texting, which I find uncomfortable, was also rejected. He was clearly avoiding the conversation! I became frustrated, as it felt like such a simple discussion. Fast forward to New Year’s Eve: we had a wonderful time together, and I stayed at his place. The next morning, I suggested we go for a drive and talk, but he claimed to be busy (despite having made plans to hang out), and suggested I leave. I left, feeling hurt. I sent him a text saying I hoped he would reach out when he was ready to talk, but otherwise, it might be best to take a break, as I didn’t want to harbor anger. Then he completely ghosted me. I haven't heard a word from him and it’s driving me crazy! I’m consumed by thoughts of him and our relationship. I feel desperate to force a conversation and express my feelings. Saying I’m hurt feels like an understatement; I’m heartbroken. We frequently used WhatsApp to share photos since he has an Android and I have an iPhone, making it difficult to send images directly. I tried sending him a good morning text through his regular phone number, but it appears I may have been blocked since the message didn’t go through. However, he hasn’t blocked me on WhatsApp, but he hasn’t opened our chat either since he ghosted me. Is this his way of breaking up? Is this complete ghosting? Should I give him time and space, or is it better to cut things off? I'm feeling lost and need some advice on what to do next.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 25d ago

My partner (24 non-binary) and I (25 female) are considering moving in together.

We've been dating for around five months now, and we've both been saving up to move out of our parents' homes. Unfortunately, we haven't had any luck finding roommates, so I decided to take the plunge and ask if they would be open to the idea of moving in together. Even though we haven't known each other for long, our communication is excellent, and we both meet each other's needs so far. I especially appreciate how we reassure one another and express gratitude for each other's support. Feeling truly listened to is new for me, and it's the main reason I'm considering this step despite the relatively short duration of our relationship. We both recognize that moving in together is a significant decision, so we've agreed to have a more in-depth discussion in a few days after we’ve organized our thoughts and any concerns. I'm glad they're receptive to the idea and feel confident about our relationship so far. What topics should we discuss and what should we consider before making this move? Any advice, personal experiences, regrets, or insights you wish you had would be greatly appreciated!


Infidelity • 25d ago

Discovered explicit photos in my boyfriend's email that he claimed had been deleted.

I'm a 30-year-old woman, and I recently discovered that my boyfriend, who is 32, had been sexting and chatting with other girls behind my back. We worked through it, and he deleted their contact information. However, while looking for tickets in his email for an upcoming event, I stumbled upon photo attachments of those girls he had sent to himself. I chose not to confront him for a month, but when I finally did, he said he didn’t care because I had waited to bring it up and that it was strange for me to look through his things. Am I wrong for waiting to address this, or did he really mess up and I was just avoiding facing the truth?


Cultural and Religious Differences • 25d ago

My boyfriend (23M) and I (21F) have decided to end our relationship due to our differing religious beliefs. Is there a possibility for us to make this work in the long run?

My boyfriend and I come from different backgrounds—I'm Hindu and he's Muslim. We met six months ago and instantly felt a strong connection, which quickly blossomed into love. We are both in the same college and study the same field, and our time together has been incredibly happy. However, about a month ago, he became very upset and suggested that we shouldn't continue our relationship. I was heartbroken because we had barely begun our journey together, and he had expressed his love for me and his desire to marry. I view our relationship as something long-term; I want to build a future with him. Although we're living abroad, away from our families, we could easily enjoy each other's company and experience all the closeness that comes with a committed relationship. However, he emphasized the importance of thinking about the future, which made me realize that we might be setting ourselves up for heartache if we can't find a way to align our aspirations. He explained that our families' happiness matters a lot to both of us, and continuing the relationship without a clear future could lead to emotional pain. His caution made me feel sad, angry, and a bit unjust, mainly because I wasn't as concerned about the long-term implications. I wanted to focus on cherishing the present and loving him wholeheartedly. After an open and honest conversation, we reluctantly agreed to part ways to avoid further hurt down the line, but also expressed a desire to reconnect in the future if circumstances allowed. As his first love, this situation is particularly emotional for me. There were moments of insecurity, and I wondered if he might be seeing someone else, but he reassured me, clearing up my doubts. We had created such a beautiful bond, and ending things like this has been incredibly difficult. Despite my inability to think long-term and my desire to stay by his side, I'm reaching out for advice. Is there a chance we could find a way to work things out in the future? Any insights or guidance would be appreciated.


Family Conflicts • 25d ago

Parents disapprove of long-distance relationships.

Hello everyone, I'm a 22-year-old male (M22) currently in a long-distance relationship with a wonderful 21-year-old girl (F21). We've been together for a year and a half, and I’d like to share my situation with you—apologies if my English isn’t perfect. We both live in Italy and met after she attended an event nearby. Our communication started through text, and after a couple of weeks, I shared our budding relationship with my parents, who were initially supportive. Eventually, we became a couple, and after a month, I visited her, where my parents also had the opportunity to meet her. Following this meeting, however, my parents began to express doubts about her. They started critiquing her appearance and even asked mutual acquaintances about her character, despite not knowing her personally. I want to clarify that she comes from a good family and has always treated me with love and respect. She is supportive and understanding, and our bond is strong. Her parents have embraced me like a son, and we often communicate via video calls. Unfortunately, my parents view our relationship as unattainable due to the distance and have unfounded concerns that she is not sincere. This despite the fact that both her family and friends are aware of and support our relationship. They have even objected to us sharing pictures together on social media, despite me having their consent. I've attempted to limit what my parents can see online, but others still fill them in, leading to them expressing their displeasure. They believe it reflects poorly on me, which I fail to understand, as she is my girlfriend. I've discussed this situation with her, and it genuinely hurts her. Despite the negativity, we remain committed to each other and are determined to make it work. However, my parents consistently criticize her without understanding the depth of our relationship. Conversations often escalate into arguments, and they show no desire to accept her or get to know her family. Throughout this ordeal, my girlfriend and her family have been a source of support for me, which sometimes feels more reliable than my relationship with my own parents. It’s puzzling because I generally have a good relationship with them, except when it comes to this issue, where they are inexplicably intrusive. Last summer, my girlfriend and I planned a day out with her parents, which my own parents took poorly, despite me informing them of our plans. This leads to arguments whenever I return home after spending time with her. They claim to have heard "rumors" about her family, which are baseless, and their refusal to listen to my reassurances is disheartening. A few months ago, my mother even managed to get my girlfriend's mother’s phone number to argue with her directly, telling her to advise her daughter to stop seeing me. This was not only inappropriate but hurtful, and it upset both my girlfriend and her mother immensely. More recently, my father took it upon himself to show up at my girlfriend’s house to confront her parents while they were away, which shocked both her and me. This kind of behavior feels like an infringement on our autonomy as adults, and I have tried to explain this to my father, but he doesn’t seem to understand. My girlfriend and I are feeling the strain of the situation, but we continue to support one another. We are also backed by friends and her family who understand our commitment to each other. It’s disheartening to see such outdated mentalities still prevalent in society today. This ongoing issue has left me feeling desperate for change, as nothing seems to sway my parents' opinions. I’ve even considered moving out to escape the negative atmosphere and regain some peace in my life. It’s difficult, but I just want to lead a stress-free life where I feel understood and supported by my family. Thank you for taking the time to read this lengthy post. I welcome any advice or perspectives you might have.


Trust and Jealousy • 25d ago

Looking for guidance on how to address my partner.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year now, and lately, I've noticed that she likes a lot of Instagram reels featuring attractive men. It seems clear to me that she’s drawn to their looks rather than the content of the posts, which makes me feel disrespected and uncomfortable. These posts usually showcase good-looking guys, and their appeal definitely comes from their appearance. I understand that finding other people attractive is completely normal. However, I believe there’s a difference between recognizing someone’s attractiveness and actually being attracted to them. I can’t shake the feeling that my girlfriend is attracted to the men in these reels. I also see posts of attractive women and, while I can acknowledge their looks, I choose not to like them—mainly because I don't want to make my girlfriend uncomfortable. My attraction is solely to her, and for me, finding attraction in others, even celebrities, feels like a form of cheating. Therefore, seeing her likes on these posts bothers me deeply. I want to have an open conversation with her about this, but I’m unsure how to approach it without coming across as insecure or controlling. Any advice on how to bring this up would be greatly appreciated.


Toxic Relationships • 25d ago

Relationship issue

My boyfriend, who is 40, and I, at 29, have been together for four years. He’s an amazing person and quite different from my previous partners. Unfortunately, my own toxicity and insecurity have caused harm in our relationship, leading him to express that he needs time to decide whether he wants to continue being with me. I respect his need for space and have told him I’m willing to wait while he reflects on things. We still keep in touch, and he continues to update me, drop me off at home, and spend time together. I'm feeling uncertain about what I should do next.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 25d ago

My boyfriend (20M) is eager to marry me (20F), but I'm not interested in getting married.

When I was younger, I never envisioned getting married or having kids. When I met my boyfriend at 18, I made it clear that I didn’t want children or marriage, and that my mind wouldn’t change on the matter. Fast forward to now, and my boyfriend is considering joining the army. He keeps mentioning that if we were to marry, I would benefit financially, but I’ve firmly told him no. I thought that would settle the issue, but he hasn’t stopped bringing it up. He has even discussed it with his friends, who are now calling me hurtful names. My boyfriend believes that my reluctance to marry means I don’t love him, which couldn't be further from the truth. I love him deeply, but marriage simply doesn’t appeal to me, and if I were to marry, it wouldn’t be for financial reasons. He continues to pressure me and make unkind remarks. How should we navigate this situation?


Trust and Jealousy • 25d ago

My boyfriend keeps ignoring me.

I'm a (m18) and my boyfriend (m19) are in a long-distance relationship. This is my first time writing something like this, so I apologize if it’s a bit confusing. My boyfriend, let's call him Zack, and I have been together for 9 months, and overall, things have been good. However, every few weeks, he goes quiet or becomes distant through texts. He doesn’t share what’s bothering him, yet he continues to chat with his friends. I’m beginning to worry that I might be too needy or clingy, which has caused issues in past relationships. He always reassures me that he doesn’t mind and even finds it cute. Recently, I've started to suspect he might be cheating. A few days ago, he mentioned that during one of his periods of ghosting me, another girl showed interest in him. They exchanged Discord information and revealed their faces, but he only stopped communicating with her because he found her "ugly." He told me this months later, and now I'm left wondering what if he just said that. He often claims he’s 70/30 in terms of his attraction between genders since he’s bi and prefers women. What if she wasn’t unattractive to him after all? He has mentioned that I'm a "one-time thing" and if we were to break up, he’d likely seek older partners. Plus, he’s hinted that a few friends of his have been hitting on him again. Maybe I’m being overly sensitive, but I can't shake the feeling that he might be cheating on me or losing interest.


Work-Life Balance • 25d ago

What’s the best way for a 18M to break up with a 21F?

I'm an 18-year-old guy and I want to end my relationship with a 21-year-old girl I've been dating for the past two months. She's very romantic and sexually active, which I struggle to keep up with. As I’m studying Law, my grades during my first semester have suffered because I've been spending too much time on dates and being intimate with her. This is my first serious relationship, and I've found it difficult to balance my studies, exercise, and time with her. I tried to break up with her a few weeks ago, but since we attend the same college and share a friend group, I wanted to handle it delicately and suggested we could remain friends. Unfortunately, she seemed to feel embarrassed by my attempt to 'friend-zone' her and responded by being quite unkind. The next morning, we agreed to stay together and try to find a balance between studying and our relationship. Initially, I thought we could make it work, but now that the new semester is starting, I'm seriously worried about my grades slipping again. While I'm just starting out in college, she’s almost finished with her program and has already secured good grades, allowing her to leave at the end of the year. We're scheduled to meet on the day we both return to college in a few days. What's the best way to end things with her? Should I do it that evening, or would it be wiser to gradually distance myself to help her adjust and prepare for the inevitable?


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 25d ago

Seven years without a ring.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend (28) for seven years as of December 26, 2024. I set a deadline for him to propose by April 1, 2025, and made it clear that if he doesn’t take some action by then, I’ll be leaving. I want to have children, but I won’t do so until we’re married. Today, he asked me to extend the deadline because he needs more time to save up. To clarify, I’m not interested in a traditional wedding or reception; I just want to elope, possibly in Las Vegas. Despite this, I stood my ground and refused to change the date because I’m tired of waiting. Now, he’s giving me the silent treatment. I don’t feel like I’m asking for too much—we're both financially secure. I feel disrespected and like my time is being wasted. I need advice because I’m at my breaking point and ready to walk away today!


Breakups and Divorces • 25d ago

I’m looking for sincere advice.

I'm a 23-year-old male currently pursuing my master's degree in Australia. After 1.5 years, I returned to Delhi for my vacation. Everything was going well with my 19-year-old girlfriend, and we were both enjoying time at home in India. Unexpectedly, she decided to end our relationship after nine months together. There was no argument or disagreement that I can identify as a reason for this decision. Following the breakup, she blocked me on all platforms, including LinkedIn, and we've had no contact for the past month. I've been struggling to move on and have fallen into a state of depression, which has overshadowed my vacation. Despite feeling like I did nothing wrong, I'm anxious about returning to Australia because I know I'll see her again. I still have a month left before I go back, but I'm unsure about my next steps. I can't afford to delay my return due to the investment I've made in my education, especially since there's only one semester left. Can anyone offer me advice on how to handle this situation?


Trust and Jealousy • 25d ago

My jealousy is starting to cause problems in my relationship. Do you have any suggestions for overcoming these insecurities?

I apologize for the lengthy message; I got a bit carried away with the details! :) I'm an 18-year-old FtM, and my boyfriend is 21. We’ve been together for almost 7 months now. I've always struggled with jealousy, which only got worse due to my last boyfriend cheating on me with his female best friend. My previous relationships involved partners who had very few sexual experiences, while my current boyfriend has had 8 partners. It's not a huge issue for me, but I’m not used to partners with higher relationship histories. Our first date happened while he was in an open relationship, and his ex ended things because we hooked up. I’ve met her several times, which makes it hard not to compare myself to her. There's also another girl (20) in his friend group. They hooked up about two years ago, and I heard from a mutual friend that she may still have feelings for him. At first, this was okay since she lived an hour away and had a girlfriend. However, she's now single and lives nearby. Recently, my boyfriend has gone to a couple of group events where she was present, but he didn’t mention her when I asked who would be there. I found out through social media that they were getting close at those events. The first time, she was his Secret Santa and overspent on his gift, and the second time, I saw a photo of them sitting across from each other at a restaurant. We’ve talked about how uncomfortable this makes me, and he’s been really supportive and understanding. I know part of my feelings stem from my past experience with cheating, but I also struggle with body insecurities. His exes are all beautiful women with curves, and as a trans man, I sometimes feel inferior to them. Additionally, there’s been some criticism from his old friends about our age difference, which means he can’t be as public about our relationship as he was with his exes. It’s been two days since I found out about the last event, and it’s really weighing on me. I realize this is something I need to work on, and I’d appreciate any guidance or advice on how to handle it. I constantly think about her, and I’m not sure how to move past these feelings. I know I might sound like a jealous partner, but I genuinely want to overcome this and not let it jeopardize our relationship, which means the world to me. Thank you so much for your support! TL;DR: My boyfriend has a female friend from a past one-night stand, and it’s making me feel anxious and jealous.


Age Differences • 25d ago

Recommendations

My boyfriend's turning 23 this Monday, and we're celebrating together on Sunday night since I have to work that day, which he understands. He mentioned that his siblings want to celebrate with him as well, but keep in mind that his birthday is on the 30th. We had already made plans for New Year’s Eve, just the two of us, staying in and watching the ball drop. I was curious about what his siblings had planned for his birthday since I wouldn’t be able to be there. Instead, he told me they're planning something for New Year’s Eve. The thing is, I really don't want to go to that. I genuinely like his siblings, and I know they feel the same about me, but some comments they make really bother me, and I try to avoid going to his sister's house whenever possible. It’s not that I dislike them; I just struggle with being around so many new people. There’s a slight age gap between us—I'm 20 and he's 23—and it often comes up in conversation in a way that feels condescending. People mention how young I am or say I don’t seem my age, and it bothers me. It’s always a topic of discussion, or they mention that they can’t go clubbing because I’m underage. I’m not overly sensitive, but I’ve reached a point where I don’t enjoy meeting new people repeatedly. I was also disappointed that our personal plans have to be canceled because he didn't ask his siblings if they could celebrate on his actual birthday. There’s a lot of context to how I feel, and I try to communicate it to him, but he doesn't seem to understand my perspective. He struggles to say no to his sister, resulting in our plans being canceled whenever she makes arrangements. I feel terrible about not wanting to go, especially since it’s his birthday, but the thought of being there makes me uneasy. I might sound selfish, but I feel like if I’m dreading the comments on his special day and am willing to miss the celebration, then I'm justified in my feelings. I am definitely planning to take him out for a day just for us, but I still feel awful about not wanting to attend on New Year’s Eve. I’d appreciate any advice. Sometimes I get caught up in my feelings and might not realize how I’m coming across, so any insight would be really helpful!


Communication Problems • 25d ago

My boyfriend (34) has quit drinking and has started to act distant towards me (25).

I (25F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together for nearly five years, working through our past issues to improve our relationship. Throughout our time together, my boyfriend has been drinking quite regularly, and when he gets drunk, he often becomes very angry—taking out his frustrations on me regarding work or life in general. Recently, we had an argument during which I expressed that I dislike how he behaves when he drinks and that he should seek help. He agreed and decided to stop drinking completely. Since then, things have been going well. He has been more communicative, we've had great conversations, and he's been really sweet. However, out of the blue, he started responding to me with shorter texts and seemed upset. When I asked what was wrong, he claimed he was just tired. I know his tiredness often manifests differently, as he had been laughing and chatting with me prior. I tried to brush it off, but the shorter replies kept coming. When I asked if he was looking forward to seeing me on Saturday—given that we've both been missing each other—he responded that he wasn't looking forward to anything and expressed feelings of frustration, saying everything felt like "shit, bullshit, and lies." He reassured me that I hadn’t done anything wrong and that it wasn't about me, but it certainly feels that way. He went to bed after telling me he loved me, but something feels off. I'm wondering if I should take his behavior to heart, or if it’s just a result of the emotional changes he’s experiencing due to not drinking. What do you all think?


Family Conflicts • 25d ago

My sister (20F) shared her travel plans, and my dad (54M) had a breakdown, expressing that he wishes we all get sexually assaulted. I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation.

I'm a 23-year-old woman trying to keep my details private, so I apologize for any lack of clarity. I'm open to answering any questions in the comments. My dad, who is 54, has been through a lot (he had to flee his home country due to war) and as a result, he can be quite unpredictable. Although we were raised in a Western country, which makes him somewhat progressive, he comes from a culture with much more conservative views about women, which is crucial context. We all still live together because of the challenging housing market, but I'm currently saving to move out. Recently, my younger sister, who is 20, announced her plans to go backpacking in Southeast Asia for a month. My dad reacted explosively. He disowned both of us (for reasons I don't quite understand), yelled about how we mistreat him, declared that she wouldn't have a room when she returned, called us foolish, and expressed disbelief that we would allow her to travel. He even shockingly said she could be raped and dropped an ominous comment about World War III happening and how it would serve women a lesson. He finished by stating, "You’ll look to me for help and I won’t be there. I’m not your father anymore." It's hard to interpret this in any other way, right? During his screaming outburst, everyone remained silent, including my mom. He was yelling from the kitchen while we each hid away in our rooms, trying to tune him out. I learned early on that he calms down faster if you don’t engage, so I no longer try to argue back. Eventually, he exhausted himself and went to bed. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe some validation that his reaction was extreme? Any advice on what to do next? I've gotten used to these tirades, but the comment about WW3 really caught me off guard. Just to clarify, he has never been physically or sexually abusive, but there's been a lot of emotional manipulation. Thank you for taking the time to read this. TL;DR: My sister announced a month-long backpacking trip in Southeast Asia, and Dad is furious we "allowed" her to go. He says he won't be there to protect us when WW3 happens.


Toxic Relationships • 25d ago

M34 and F27: We care for one another, but we also cause each other pain. We need assistance.

We first connected two years ago on a dating app. She was only in my city for one night, and we met that evening. We quickly bonded over our shared experiences and felt an immediate attraction. After she returned home, which was four hours away, we kept in touch but eventually drifted apart due to the distance. During that time, I briefly dated someone else. Four months later, we reconnected on Instagram, and she came to visit me for four days. Over that time, we fell in love, and two months later, I asked her to be my girlfriend. She warned me about the lingering effects of a previous toxic relationship, and I promised to be mindful of her trauma. She moved in with me while searching for her own place, and we became quite dependent on each other. However, soon after, I started noticing red flags: overwhelming jealousy, frequent arguments, aggressive communication, and heightened emotions stemming from her sensitivity. As someone who avoids conflict, I put up with this for five months until I eventually reached my breaking point and ended the relationship. Five months later, feeling the absence of her in my life, I reached out. She had begun therapy and welcomed me back. But this time, the dynamic shifted. I began to feel resentful and found myself blaming her for our problems. Despite her attempts to work on herself, we continued to fight, and after seven months of this cycle, I decided to leave again, which left her heartbroken. Three months later, I returned to her. She agreed to give it another shot, but she confessed that her trust in me had faded and that she felt emotionally blocked. We are now in couples therapy, but our relationship feels stuck. I’m struggling and feel like my life is unraveling. Is there a chance for this relationship to heal? Should I wait for her to open up, or is it time for me to move on?


Work-Life Balance • 26d ago

I get anxious every day when my boyfriend comes home.

My boyfriend (24m) has struggled with work stress for as long as I’ve known him. We’ve been together for three years and have lived together for one. I've tried to be as supportive and understanding as possible. When he mentioned needing some time alone to unwind after work, I agreed to give him that space. However, I’ve started to feel really anxious each day as I anticipate him coming home. It’s like I can’t catch my breath. He often arrives home feeling upset—withdrawn, sullen, and angry. When we do interact, he barely makes eye contact and only offers a few words before retreating to his office for at least an hour. If I try to join him, he doesn’t seem to acknowledge my presence; he just continues playing games on his phone. Dinner time is usually when he comes out and seems to be in a better mood, ready to engage with me. My question is, is this behavior typical in a relationship? I grew up in a tight-knit family, where we support each other through tough times, so I wanted to get an outside perspective. I feel a disconnect between us every day, and getting back into our normal routine after his alone time feels a bit awkward. While he has always been this way, I’m starting to reevaluate what I need from our relationship. Thanks for reading this lengthy message!


Trust and Jealousy • 26d ago

Did 28M sacrifice a core value for 38F, or is he simply not fully committed to her?

**38F** **28M** **Met:** October 31, 2020 **Married:** June 5, 2023 My husband expressed that he compromised his core values by purchasing our marital home with just his name on the mortgage (financial responsibility) while both our names are listed on the deed (ownership) last November. He brings this up during arguments and pressures me to conform to his mother's wishes. This arrangement became necessary due to my job instability and significant pay cuts (the first major decrease was $17,000 annually) that occurred after moving for his job, which granted him a temporary per diem pay raise of over $3,000 a month. It was also stipulated in our prenup that community property must include both names; otherwise, it is solely owned by one party. When he complained about acting in a way I assumed any loving husband would, it made me question, "Does he really love me?" I genuinely want to understand if this is a valid concern and if it's another red flag I overlooked in my marriage to a man who seems to have a stronger bond with his mother than with me. **Background:** The prenup indicated that he didn’t care about me, and despite this, I signed it out of love, believing him when he assured me that the document didn’t reflect the reality of our feelings. In therapy, he revealed that the prenup was primarily for his mother’s benefit. He began our marriage with her influence in mind and has now acknowledged his enmeshment with her. He essentially acquired our house after consulting with a loan officer and a family friend. The loan officer expressed his conflict but ultimately proceeded because he loved his wife, while the friend urged him to step up as he had done when his wife was in medical school; both men conveyed that love should drive those decisions without needing further consultation. Lastly—feel free to skip this part as I'm just venting—when I changed jobs, I lost excellent health insurance that cost only $10 a month. My husband was only open to adding me to his insurance if I reimbursed him each month. I complied, and then we moved again to Sherman, TX, where the pay cut wasn’t just $3,000 like the last job change, but $17,000 annually. He only agreed to cover my insurance after I was unemployed and we discussed the possibility of pregnancy. He downplays that aspect and insists he did it out of love, but I can’t help but wonder if he truly understands love or if he’s just displaying a form of immaturity. His love feels painful, and I question whether he knows what love really means, especially in light of his mother’s strong influence.


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 26d ago

I could really use some advice.

I'm a 23-year-old male currently in a relationship with a 23-year-old female, and we've been together for seven months. I've fallen deeply in love with her. Recently, she expressed a desire to wait until marriage to become sexually active again, despite the fact that we were sexually active for the first five months of our relationship. She has been dealing with some family issues and has mentioned that she’s been getting closer to her faith. Prior to me, she had relationships with three other guys. I know she loves me too; she’s incredibly faithful, which is important to me since I've been cheated on before, and I've made it clear that I need a partner who is completely loyal. I genuinely believe she would make a wonderful wife. However, my dilemma is that I’m unsure if I can wait until marriage for intimacy, especially since we’ve already been intimate and she's not a virgin. I also worry about my own happiness in this situation. So, I'm reaching out to see what you all think… If you were in my position, what would you do? Thank you in advance for your insights. I'm grateful for any advice you can offer.