Relationship advices

My girlfriend gets upset when we play games, but she never talks to me about it.

My girlfriend (20F) sometimes seems to get easily irritated, especially a couple of weeks after her period ends. We enjoy playing FPS games together, but even after a winning streak, she often ends up feeling moody or frustrated. Sometimes, she'll go on her phone and suggest taking a break to grab some food, which I don't mind since I have other things to do. However, after that, she sometimes refuses to turn on her camera (we're in a long-distance relationship and FaceTime while playing) and talks to me in a sad or annoyed tone. When I ask what's wrong, I usually get responses like "Nothing" or "I'm fine." This leaves me uncertain about whether I've upset her during the game or if she's just hangry. I tend to overthink things due to anxiety and past experiences, which makes this situation even harder for me. I'm just curious whether it's common for women to experience sudden emotional shifts or if being hangry is a real thing. Any advice would be appreciated—thanks!

Boyfriend going overseas with a female friend

**Summary:** I'm a 19-year-old female and my boyfriend, who is 20, and I have been together for nearly three years. We see each other every weekend, as we live in the same hometown, but attend colleges that are a bit apart. My boyfriend has the chance to travel abroad for two weeks through a program his female friend informed him about. She is also applying, and he decided to join in. They previously went to Europe together for an exchange program over the summer, which made me feel jealous since they had made that trip before us. Now, he might go to Asia for two weeks, while I've invited him to visit my home country with my family, who is willing to cover his ticket. Unfortunately, my trip to my home country is scheduled for the same time as the potential Asia trip. If he gets into the program, he'll choose that over coming with me. I can’t shake off the feeling that it’s unfair he’s traveled with her before and could do so again. While I recognize it's an amazing opportunity for him, I'm struggling with the jealousy of him experiencing a different culture with someone else—especially since I've always wanted to travel to Asia with him. How can I manage my feelings and be more supportive instead of feeling jealous?

My girlfriend drinks heavily, and it's affecting our relationship.

My girlfriend (36 years old) and I (22 years old) have been together for about four months. When we first met, she was working as a machinist with long 12-hour shifts. About a month into our relationship, she decided to switch back to her old job as a barber. While she's focused on building her clientele, I've noticed that with her new schedule, she tends to go out 4-5 times a week and drinks heavily each time. On New Year's Eve, she expressed a desire to spend the evening with me at the movies. Unbeknownst to me, her college friends were in town, and she decided to go out with them before joining me. When she finally returned home, she was quite drunk, slurring her speech and being a bit argumentative. I tried to brush it off, but it still upset me, leading to a minor disagreement. When we got to the movies, she fell asleep almost right away, which I found disappointing since it was our first New Year's together. However, I recognized that her friends were visiting, so I chose to let it go. A few weeks ago, she invited me over to make dinner (spaghetti) while she was at work. I agreed and went grocery shopping in preparation. When I arrived, I tidied up a bit and waited to start cooking until closer to when she was due home. She was supposed to finish work around 7 but didn’t come back until after midnight. She explained that she had to drop something off at a friend's bar and ended up staying longer than expected. Because I noticed she was still at the bar through our shared location, I opted not to cook for her. When she finally came home, she was very drunk and immediately got upset upon realizing I hadn’t made dinner. She stormed upstairs and slammed her bedroom door. I felt disheartened because this seemed to be a recurring situation. I tried to talk to her, but she was too inebriated and confrontational, so I went back downstairs, made her spaghetti, and then slept on the couch. Later that night, she sobered up and came downstairs to apologize. I forgave her and tried to move on. Last night, after work, my girlfriend went to play pool at a nearby pub and stayed until around 11:30. She called me on her way home, slightly intoxicated, and immediately started making rude comments. Frustrated, I told her I needed some space to sort through my feelings since it was becoming overwhelming. The next day, I avoided her calls and texts until she reached out again after leaving the pub, apologizing and expressing regret. I called her to discuss what was bothering me, but she said she wanted to have that talk later. I agreed and checked her location, which confirmed my feelings—she was at her friend's bar again after work at 11 PM. I texted her to reiterate my earlier concerns, but I was left feeling confused and drained. This is a lot for me, but I do love her. I'm unsure how to approach her about this without it leading to an argument. Any advice would be appreciated.

CIS F20, FTM 23

My transgender boyfriend has been accusing me of cheating for quite some time now, and I find it really strange. He seems to be overly suspicious, especially considering I've had male friends before we started dating and have since been adding random people just to chat. This has happened while he's had access to my passwords, which he requested to feel more secure in our relationship. I don’t think sending casual selfies to someone is wrong, especially since I removed my male friends from my social media. Despite that, he still suspects me. What’s troubling is that he frequently shows me another woman’s profile on social media, claiming they’re just friends, yet when I ask to see their conversations, he dodges the question. Instead, he tells me he planned to confront me about infidelity because he didn't believe anyone who said I wasn’t cheating, even after seeing my messages. This logic doesn't make sense to me. I’ve always reassured him and included him in my conversations, and at the beginning of our relationship, he didn’t accuse me like this. I really don’t appreciate being put in a position where I have to prove my loyalty when he isn’t doing the same for me. It feels wrong, and I think it reflects a lack of trust. If he knew he wouldn’t reciprocate the transparency I offered, I’m confused as to why he waited so long to acknowledge he has another woman on his social media. I feel sad and hurt by his behavior, and it definitely doesn't seem fair. Just because he’s transgender doesn’t mean he’s above cheating, and yet he continues to get mad at me and twist things around when I ask him about it. He’s been unfairly accusatory without providing any proof of his own, and I believe I have every right to feel upset about the whole situation. To make matters worse, he hasn’t given me any of his passwords or shared the same openness I've shown him. Honestly, it feels like a betrayal, and I’m unsure how to navigate this. I need some perspective on what’s happening.

I'm a 20-year-old female, and my boyfriend is a 20-year-old male. We're currently in a long-distance relationship, and I have a situation to discuss.

My boyfriend and I hardly get the chance to spend quality time together. One day, he’s home alone and has invited me over, but that same day, my best friend from university is throwing her birthday party (not on her actual birthday). I feel torn about which to choose and guilty about letting one of them down. I'm really stuck on what to do!

Is it inappropriate to urinate while showering?

My boyfriend and I have a little wager going—one of us believes it's gross to pee in the shower, while the other doesn't mind it. What are your thoughts?

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice! 😩

Last year, I was dating a wonderful man. We had an incredible first and second date, and after our second outing, we spent the night together (nothing intimate happened). I shared some thoughts that I believe might have overwhelmed him. He later mentioned that I came on too strong, which might have scared him off. Since then, we hadn't really communicated for about four months. At my friend's birthday party, I reached out to him, but I reacted poorly when he didn't want to drive over an hour and a half to pick me up. In a moment of frustration and under the influence of alcohol, I said I would find someone else to meet me, and that ended our conversation. Now, I’ve been working on some past trauma in therapy and was encouraged to apologize to those I may have hurt. I reached out to him, expressing my regrets and thanking him for being honest instead of ghosting me. He responded kindly, just like he did before. He congratulated me on my personal growth and made me smile, which was a nice surprise. It's been three days since that exchange, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I'm unsure how to proceed. I want to avoid coming on too strong again, but I genuinely like him. When we spoke initially, he mentioned wanting to take things slow and see where they led, and I would love a second chance to pursue that. However, I'm unsure of the best approach now. How can I reconnect with him without being overwhelming? What steps can I take to rekindle our connection?

My boyfriend often spends his time outside smoking, in the bathroom, watching TV, or using his phone.

We recently moved in together, but often it feels like I'm living alone since he spends so much time outside smoking, in the bathroom, watching TV, or on his phone. I actually feel lonelier now than I did before we shared a space. He seems oblivious to the situation; I find myself doing many things solo. Often, when I’m still eating, he has finished and heads straight for the TV. The quality time I value is nonexistent, and it’s frustrating because that’s an important love language for me. I don’t like having to ask anyone for their attention, affection, or effort, and I’m surprised that he seems to think this is perfectly normal.

In a two-year relationship, they haven't met each other's families due to concerns about her dating someone of a different race. She is 21, and he is 24.

My girlfriend (21F) is about to graduate as a senior in her undergraduate studies, while I (24M) am in my first year of a master's program. We both come from the same town and high school. We’ve been together for two years, and only her two sisters know about our relationship since her family doesn’t approve of men of color. This situation has been really difficult for me. She believes that if her family finds out, they might stop supporting her financially with tuition, rent, and food, which is why she’s hesitant to tell them. I honestly think it wouldn’t be as bad as she fears, but her anxiety complicates things. I've struggled to convince her, leading to a lot of tension between us. I only learned about her family dynamics three months into our relationship, but I believed we could work through it, expecting things would get better by now. It pains me to consider giving her an ultimatum since I can see how hard this is for her. She feels torn, too. With her graduation approaching this semester, I made it clear that I won’t miss it, even if her entire family is there. I have two undergraduate degrees and am pursuing my master’s while working full-time, and I feel like I deserve to be acknowledged in our relationship. I genuinely love her and have always thought she was "the one," but this family issue and her anxiety have made it difficult to envision a future together, especially beyond her graduation. I would appreciate any advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation. I know some may suggest that I should walk away, while others might encourage me to fight for our love. I'm truly interested in hearing if anyone has faced something like this in today’s world and how it turned out. Has anyone gone through something similar?

Best friend and boyfriend

I’m a 19-year-old female and I’m currently dating a 21-year-old guy. We used to date in high school, but we broke up and lost touch for three years. Recently, we managed to reconnect and get back together. He just revealed to me that six months after our breakup, he kissed my best friend, who is 20 now. He mentioned they were both drunk and quickly realized it was a mistake, but it really hurts to know that this happened while we were friends. Now, two and a half years later, I’m just finding out about it, and I’m unsure how to react or if I should confront him about it. What hurts the most is that she chose not to tell me. Should I be concerned about this, or is it something I should let go?

My boyfriend, who is 20, had to move in with me after being kicked out. He has now been allowed to return home after 8 months. Should I continue the relationship?

For context, I have a daughter who isn't his. I've genuinely loved our time living together, and it's heartbreaking that we can't be together anymore. He seems to get frustrated when I express my sadness about it, and he isn't bringing up any future plans for us to live together again.

My boyfriend was unfaithful to his previous girlfriend and kept it a secret. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

I'm in a new relationship that has been going on for a couple of months. On our first date, he was very open with me and wanted to address any 'red flags.' He admitted to cheating on his ex-girlfriend but only revealed it to her after they broke up. Initially, I appreciated his honesty, but as someone who struggles with trust issues, this information is difficult for me to digest. Since then, he's shared more about the situation, and what I've learned is concerning. He was just 21 at that time, and while I understand that young people can make mistakes, he had been in a relationship with his girlfriend for roughly two to three years. He cheated with one of her closest friends, who lived with them. It started when they were alone together, had a few drinks, and things escalated from there. This incident happened a few more times because they wanted to explore if there were any feelings between them, which they ultimately decided there weren’t. As far as I know, they continued living together for a while after that. He chose not to tell his girlfriend about the cheating, fully aware of the likely consequences. He kept it a secret until he was 27, claiming he 'struggled with guilt for years' but assured me that he would never cheat again because he cannot bear that guilt. However, I recently found out that he only told his ex about the affair because she confessed to cheating on him and had developed feelings for another guy (who she is currently with). At that moment, he still didn't come clean until he sensed she was torn between the two of them and might choose to give their relationship another shot. He felt it was necessary to finally be honest with her, resulting in her ending things, which I completely understand. It seems that both of them contributed to a messy and toxic situation. She was almost ten years older and deeply entrenched in their relationship, while he was much younger. At least she was honest about her feelings, whereas he kept his secret for years, and that's something I struggle to reconcile. I also get the impression that he sees himself as the victim in their relationship. While it's true she left him for someone else, I can't help but think that if he had been upfront, she might have made a different choice sooner. He expresses frustration at her for not giving him a chance to fix things, which feels a bit like an excuse to me. So here I am, with a boyfriend who cheated when he was younger and kept it hidden for years. Now at 29, I don't want to hold his past mistakes against him, but I'm genuinely concerned, and it weighs on me. I've tried to communicate that this is challenging for me, but he seems to think he is being punished for something he did in his early 20s. While I can acknowledge that he made a mistake, his attitude surrounding it worries me. I really like him and want to give him a chance, and I believe him when he says he wouldn’t cheat again. But I can’t shake the fear that it will impact me in the future.

Does my girlfriend still have feelings for her previous relationships?

This is my first post, so please go easy on me! I’m not great with tech, so I might be overthinking things. I’m a 25-year-old guy and she’s a 21-year-old girl. We’ve been dating for three months. Recently, she lent me her MacBook since mine was broken and I was waiting for a new one. While she stepped out, I accidentally looked through her photos. I found images of her old exes, and there are also some exes in her favorites. Now, I’m wondering with all this iCloud photo syncing—when I delete photos from my iPhone, do they automatically get deleted from her Mac? I just tried it on my new Mac, and photos I delete from my iPhone don’t get removed from the Mac. Am I overreacting, or has she kept these for a reason? I could really use some advice, because I'm feeling a bit lost!

As a 19-year-old male, I feel that my 19-year-old girlfriend might not be sexually attracted to me.

I want to start by saying how much I care for my girlfriend. We’ve been together for nearly two years, and overall, it’s been a positive experience. About seven or eight months ago, I mentioned to her that I felt she wasn’t physically attracted to me since she rarely initiates anything or shows any desire for me. This is really important to me; it’s not about the physical aspect as much as it is about the emotional connection. When she expresses her desire for me, it makes me feel valued. She assured me that she would work on it. A couple of months later, I brought it up again, and she responded by saying that I wasn’t meeting her needs, which prevented her from meeting mine. She mentioned that I hadn’t been taking her on enough dates and that I hadn’t given her enough. I understood her perspective and made an effort to improve by planning more dates and surprising her with flowers and little gifts. Despite these efforts, I didn’t see any change in her behavior. After another couple of months, I brought it up again, and she became emotional, apologizing like before and promising to work on things, but again nothing changed. Now, several months have passed without any intimate connection, which isn’t the main issue for me—it’s the lack of expression of desire that stings. I feel like I’ve made changes for her, but she hasn’t reciprocated. I can envision a future with her if things improve, but I’m unsure how much longer I can endure this situation. I’m feeling myself drift away, and it feels like my concerns haven’t had any impact. I’m looking for advice: am I being unreasonable for feeling this way? TL;DR: My girlfriend doesn’t express physical desire for me, which makes me feel unwanted. I’ve addressed it three times, but despite my efforts to change based on her feedback, she hasn’t made any changes.

Is it possible that some changes are needed? (21F and 20M)

**TL;DR:** I need to come to terms with some boundaries in my relationship that feel off but aren't necessarily unusual. I (21M) and my partner (20M) have been together for nearly two years, and our relationship is generally good—no major fights, just the usual minor disagreements. However, I've noticed that our approach to sexual activity has become a bit uncomfortable for me. I enjoy being intimate with him, but I'm not always in the mood. When I don’t feel like it, he might express that he’s feeling horny or wants to be intimate. Instead of outright saying “no,” which feels odd given our relationship, I often say things like “I’m not sure” or “I’m tired.” Sometimes he continues to push for it. While he never physically forces anything, his actions—like touching himself if I turn away—make me feel pressured to respond, which can be difficult. It’s led me to want to avoid being alone with him, not because I'm afraid of him, but because I dislike how he sometimes persuades me into something I’m not sure I want to do. I'm unsure if this is a serious issue I need to address or just something that comes with being in a relationship.

My boyfriend of two years didn't give me anything for Christmas.

I purchased the Nike shoes he wanted for $100. He mentioned that my gift was on the way and would arrive on December 20th since he ordered it online. Now it’s January 30th, and I haven’t received anything, nor has he provided any updates. I think it’s fair to conclude that there’s probably nothing coming. What does this indicate about our relationship and his feelings? I haven't received anything—not even a card or a $2 chocolate.

Is this incorrect of me?

I (19M) and my girlfriend (19F) have been together for nearly a year, and our anniversary is coming up soon. However, I'm starting to feel like I don't want to continue the relationship. Her mood seems to influence everything around us. When she's unhappy, it feels like no one can be. **She spends all her time on her phone,** often doing things that seem trivial, like checking her friends' Snapchat locations or scrolling through Instagram. She insists on having my Life360 location shared all the time, and she frequently tries to instigate arguments because I don't post pictures of her on Instagram. Additionally, I've caught her going through my phone without permission on several occasions. She also doesn't have a job, and when I'm not with her, she tends to just stay in bed all day. Even when I'm at her place, we mainly just lie around doing nothing. Is it wrong for me to want more from this relationship? I want a girlfriend who’s excited to go out and do things with me, who listens to what I say, and isn’t preoccupied with social media. Things are relatively okay between us at the moment, so I feel guilty about the idea of ending things. Should I break up with her? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Am I considering divorce?

I'm a 33-year-old woman, and my 32-year-old husband and I have been experiencing some really tough months. He has a close friendship with a female coworker, and I've expressed my discomfort about her texting him daily. To sum it up, he made me feel like I was being jealous or needy for bringing it up, until the work Christmas party when she revealed that she has feelings for him. This situation isn't just a one-time mistake; it seems to be a recurring pattern for him. We've been together for 13 years and have two young kids, ages 6 and 4. Throughout his various jobs, he has developed close friendships with female colleagues. I want to clarify that I genuinely believe he hasn't cheated on me. We have each other's phone passwords, and I don’t think he would betray me in that way. However, he has hurt me by disregarding my feelings and continuing behaviors that make me uncomfortable. We're currently going through a separation, and he plans to move out soon. I'm coming to terms with the idea of not being together, as I’ve felt lonely for quite some time. He and I don’t seem to be on the same page when it comes to intimacy, and he doesn’t show much affection. Despite this, I still have lingering doubts about whether we should try to work things out. I recognize deep down that we may need to separate, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m making the wrong choice.

Is he rushing things, or am I just not good at dating?

I've been chatting online with a guy who's 30 for about four days now, and we definitely clicked during our phone conversations. However, there's one issue that's been bothering me: he's very eager to meet up in person. He's asked me every day since we started talking, wanting me to drive two hours to "hang out." I've told him it's too soon for me, but he continues to push the idea. Now he seems to think I'm not really interested in him. Is it normal for people to want to meet so quickly after connecting online? Am I the only one who feels this way?

I'm starting to feel uneasy about my boyfriend's new coworker.

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over five years now. Recently, he received a promotion, and they brought in a much younger woman to fill his previous role. Ever since, I've been sensing some unusual vibes. To start, after her interview, she privately messaged him to thank him personally, even though there were two other managers involved in the hiring process. She invited him to reach out if he needed anything and expressed excitement about hearing back from them. He replied, complimenting her interview skills. I want to clarify that I wasn't snooping; I was sitting right next to him when he responded. I find it a bit unprofessional for a candidate to reach out like that instead of sending a standard thank-you email, and when I mentioned it, he became defensive. They've been exchanging texts throughout the week, which is understandable since they'll be coworkers moving forward. He hasn't hidden much of what she's said, but some of their conversations seem a bit flirty. I also noticed him looking her up on Instagram, which he rarely does. Given her age and attractiveness, many of her photos are revealing or feature her posing in the gym, which makes me uneasy. With her training starting soon, they'll be spending a lot of time together, and it's increasing my anxiety. For context, I've never felt this way about any other girl or situation during our relationship—this is a first for me. I'm not quite sure how to approach this. He isn't outright hiding anything, but after a couple of weeks of working together, she's begun calling him "papa," which strikes me as odd. I'm unsure how to express my discomfort without coming off as jealous.

Hey girls, I need some advice—I'm starting to feel like my boyfriend isn't interested in helping me wrap things up.

Ladies, do you relate to this? When you're being close with your partner but end up satisfying yourself—do you feel any shame about it? Like you're the only one putting in the effort to reach that moment?

My girlfriend (21F) is interested in having group sex with other men, but I'm not comfortable with that. What should I do?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for seven years, and she means the world to me. I can't fathom life without her. However, during a conversation about our future yesterday, the topic of sex came up, and she unexpectedly mentioned her desire to have a threesome with another guy. Initially, I thought she was joking since she's usually quite reserved, but it became clear that she was serious. I was taken aback because years ago, we had discussed this, and she had been adamant that she would never consider it. Now, she was expressing how incredible it might feel to be "filled" by other men and even said she fantasized about being "overwhelmed" by multiple guys. She was quite drunk at the time, while I had only sipped a little, as I've never been a fan of drinking. When she fell asleep, I found myself consumed by thoughts of what she had said. The idea of my future wife being with other men while I watched filled me with sadness and anxiety, and I could barely hold back tears as I sat there, my hands shaking. The next day, I asked her if she truly meant what she had said. I tried to approach the subject in an open manner, hoping she would feel comfortable sharing her thoughts. She confessed that she wanted to explore more experiences because we’ve been together for most of our lives, and neither of us has been with anyone else. This made me question whether she was dissatisfied with our sex life. I believe I perform well; we use toys, and she certainly reaches multiple orgasms. Yet here we are. The woman I envisioned as the future mother of my children is now expressing a desire to be with other men, and that’s something I cannot accept. Just last month, I secured a well-paying job and was considering buying her an extravagant ring, but now I’m reconsidering everything. I conveyed my feelings to her, but she seemed taken aback by my reaction. When she brought up the topic again during dinner, I lost my appetite entirely. This situation is incredibly challenging for me. I don’t feel like I have anyone to confide in, so I’m turning to this forum in search of some guidance.

25-year-old female, 28-year-old male: my boyfriend changed our screensaver.

Lately, I've been feeling a bit out of sorts, especially after my boyfriend came over to take care of me while I was sick. He brought me food and kept me company while I worked on my college assignments, which I genuinely appreciated. I even made him some food since he only brought a little for me. However, during our time together, I noticed something strange—he changed his screensaver of us back to his original one. This felt hurtful and made me wonder if he was concealing something or if he simply didn’t want anyone to see it. This observation led to an argument. He insisted that he has every right to change his screensaver whenever he wants and didn't think he needed my permission. He pointed out that the core of our discussion stemmed from my issues and said it was on me to express if I wanted him to keep the picture of us. He also mentioned that conveying this through anger and emotions wasn’t acceptable. I’m concerned I might be coming across as overly negative. Am I reading too deeply into this situation? I acknowledge my part in how I managed my feelings, but I still feel uneasy, particularly since he has a female friend visiting from abroad and they're planning to hang out this Saturday. It’s hard not to wonder if his decision to change the screensaver is connected to that, especially since he hadn’t changed it until now.

Ways to show love to my girlfriend

I'm facing a somewhat unique challenge in my relationship. My girlfriend and I (in a wlw relationship) have been navigating our different ways of expressing love. While we both cherish physical touch—even simple gestures like holding hands—things get a bit tricky when we're out in public. I struggle with anxiety and come from a strict, homophobic upbringing, which leads me to shy away from any public displays of affection. On the other hand, she enjoys showing affection openly and often feels down about my discomfort, although she makes an effort to understand my perspective. I'm looking for advice on how to make her feel loved in a way that aligns with both of our needs or how I can manage my anxiety about being queer in public. I live in a fairly accepting city, but it's hard to shake the habits I developed growing up. Any suggestions would be deeply appreciated!

I could use some assistance.

Hi, I’m a 19-year-old female, and my boyfriend is a 19-year-old male. We’ve been dating for about two months, and things seemed to be going well. We’re both college students, and our dorms are right across from each other, so he often stays over in my room. One night, he went out with friends and accidentally left his iPad behind. Since I know the password, I felt compelled to check it out, driven by an instinct. While looking through his iPad, I discovered he was communicating with some girls and even asking for their locations. Just to clarify, I attend college out of state, and I was away for Christmas break around that time. This is my first serious relationship, and I genuinely like him. When I confronted him about the messages, he claimed these girls were just friends from middle school, and I didn’t think much of it at the time because there was no obvious flirting. A few days later, I found myself going through his phone again and stumbled upon the "recently deleted" section in iMessage. There was a girl’s name listed with "808 messages deleted." Out of curiosity, I restored the messages and discovered it was his ex. She had reached out to him, and he responded. I can't help but feel hurt and confused, especially after crying to him about my concerns just recently. Looking further, I checked his call log and found they had FaceTimed each other. I couldn’t hold back the tears as he sat beside me. I decided to investigate his camera roll, and while he rarely takes pictures of us together, I found multiple images of her and even some hidden folders containing several explicit videos of them. I’m feeling utterly lost, disgusted, and angry, but I still care about him deeply. I really need some advice on what to do next!

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