Relationship advices

Tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship in the future?

I'm 22, and my boyfriend is 24. We’re both Filipinos, and soon we'll be facing a long-distance relationship for a few months since I have to move back to Korea for at least three months. After that, I’ll return to the Philippines. My boyfriend's mom is married to a U.S. citizen and plans to bring her children, including him, to the States once their visa situation is sorted out. I've agreed to move to the U.S. with him, but I'm concerned about how this will all play out. The thought of being apart and going through the long wait for visas and other documents makes me anxious. I genuinely want to be with him, but I'm feeling scared about the future.

My husband is not interested in being intimate or engaging in sexual activities.

I'm at a loss about how to begin addressing our situation. Let me share some background. My husband, who is 39, and I, 34, have been married since 2023, though we were in an on-and-off relationship for 13 years prior to tying the knot, with about four of those years being more stable. We’ve experienced numerous highs and lows together. After our wedding in 2023, I discovered he had a drug addiction and that he had been unfaithful to me during our engagement while under the influence. Thankfully, he has been sober for eight months now, and we've been working hard on our marriage this past year. Currently, however, our intimate life is lacking. We rarely have sex—maybe once or twice a month, if that. I often find myself pleading for intimacy. When I try to initiate it, he frequently responds with excuses, such as being too tired or that it’s too late in the evening (around 7 or 8 PM). I even try to spice things up with sexy attire, only to be met with laughter and comments about going to bed instead, which leaves me feeling foolish and hurt. I’ve attempted to discuss why this is so troubling for me, but the conversations usually end with him saying I’m focused only on sex or that he has sex with me once, thinking that should suffice until I bring it up again. It feels like he believes that one encounter should be enough for the entire month. In the past, we used to share intimacy three to four times a week unless it coincided with my menstrual cycle. I’ve invested in toys, lingerie, and even role-play, but nothing seems to catch his interest. I often question whether I’m to blame, but he assures me I’m not. Yet when we do engage, he struggles to finish or goes soft once we become intimate. The disparity in the level of effort I put in compared to what I receive is disheartening. He doesn’t seem to have any issues with pornography, though. There was one instance that really hurt me: after being disturbed by his snoring, I opted to sleep on the couch. When he woke up, he was kind enough to cover me with a blanket and sit down to watch sports. I waited, hoping he’d come to get me to return to bed, especially since I had tried to initiate intimacy the night before and been turned away. Instead of reaching out to me, he sat there rubbing himself while watching pornography. I discovered this through our living room camera, and it left me feeling incredibly upset—he chose that over being intimate with me. I feel lost and don’t want to continue in a sexless marriage. We’ve even talked about having a second child, but how can we consider that when our physical connection is so minimal? We do share moments of affection like kissing, holding hands, and cuddling before sleep, and he often compliments me on my looks, but that's where it ends. It has been a month since our last sexual encounter, despite my efforts to initiate intimacy multiple times this week, all of which have been rejected. I’m beginning to lose my self-esteem and feel more like a roommate than a spouse. I’m unsure what steps to take next. What should I do?

Am I crazy for allowing my boyfriend, who is 27, to talk to his bisexual friend while I'm 29?

I’m a 29-year-old woman in a relationship with a 27-year-old man for over a year, and we moved in together six months ago. Our relationship has been going well; it’s healthy, and my boyfriend has always been kind. However, he has a female best friend who is starting to overstep boundaries. She’s in a relationship with a boyfriend who is emotionally unavailable, and she tends to seek that emotional connection with her male friends. She often texts and calls my boyfriend at odd hours, discussing her sexual experiences with other women—things she doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with her boyfriend. Initially, I thought it was fine since it seemed like a typical friendship where they discussed dating lives. But the details are becoming too frequent and too explicit. She’s also been sending him provocative reels of other women, which I first dismissed as harmless since she’s bisexual and might just appreciate women like any guy would. Yet, the content of the reels keeps getting more inappropriate, and she shares intimate details about her sex life with her boyfriend. One reel I saw even discussed how many bacteria are exchanged during a kiss, and she sent it to my boyfriend to ask if it was true. After I discovered this, we had a serious discussion, and I expressed my concerns. He initially didn’t see the problem, but after talking it through, he realized she was crossing lines and promised to distance himself from her. He has reduced their communication significantly, but a month later, I caught her sending similar reels again. When I confronted him about it, he said he would speak to her about it, but he’s a considerate person and seems hesitant to confront his longtime friend. He mentioned he’d gradually cut ties with her. I’m left wondering if I should talk to her directly to let her know her behavior is disrespectful to me and our relationship. How much of her actions can be attributed to her being bisexual? My boyfriend thinks this is just a generational thing and that I should relax. I trust him, but I don’t trust her. Should I give him more time to handle it, or should I reach out to her myself?

Should I Sever Connections With My Family?

I've never posted anything like this before, but I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm feeling lost. I'm considering cutting ties with my family for various reasons, although part of me is hesitant due to certain concerns. I'm 21 years old and nonbinary (assigned female at birth). I've been out for four years, with almost everyone in my life knowing, except for my immediate family, apart from a few cousins I feel comfortable with. I've lived with my partner for three years, which has helped create some distance from my family. While I've gained some independence, it often feels like they still shadow me. For context, my family holds very right-wing views and supports Trump, which is their choice, but it crosses a line when their beliefs veer into racism and transphobia. We're Mexican American, with my father being an immigrant, yet they hold these problematic views. I understand their mindset, but it feels morally wrong to me, making it difficult to be around them. I can only brush off their comments as "just opinions" for so long before it becomes exhausting. I know that if I were to fully express my true self, they would dislike me and never grasp who I really am. I also have an older sister (27) who has a child. While I care for her and empathize with her situation, I fear she's been heavily influenced by our parents' political ideologies. I try to share my views with her, but she often dismisses me, claiming I lack life experience. Ironically, she frequently reaches out to me for assistance, whether it's financial help or rides to work, as her husband has taken her car and they haven't bought a new one. To provide some background: my brother-in-law's car broke down and borrowed my sister's car. Subsequently, my grandmother gave her a vehicle to use. However, when my brother-in-law's car was stolen, he started using the one from my grandmother again. They did receive insurance money for the stolen car, which I suspect was used for their son’s second birthday party rather than getting another car. I understand wanting to provide a joyful experience for their child, but their priorities seem misaligned. Additionally, my sister often asks me for rides to work while I'm busy with school or work myself. When I say no, I can sense her annoyance through her sarcastic replies. For example, one time she spammed me with texts while I was in class, calling me when I didn’t respond. I sent an automated message asking her to call later, to which she replied with, “Ok. Enjoy your day,” clearly frustrated with me. I can feel her attempts to make me feel guilty. There was another incident when I sent her a picture of my card so she could use it for Instacart, as she couldn’t go out due to not having a car or money. I was fine with this, wanting to help, especially for my nephew. However, a few weeks later, I noticed nearly $185 missing from my account. After panicking and locking my card, I discovered that she had used it without asking, thinking I wouldn’t mind and would pay me back. In the end, she only reimbursed me half of what she took. Returning to my parents, I know many people suggest that communicating with them could lead to understanding. While that’s possible, I’m genuinely terrified of them. Growing up in an unsafe environment, I was subjected to physical punishment, which made me submissive and non-confrontational. I learned to keep to myself and obey to avoid negative consequences. My younger brother is now 13, and though things have shifted from physical to verbal punishment, the environment is still unhealthy. He seems to be well-adjusted, likely due to the supportive friends he’s made. While I'm happy for him, I still worry and feel a conflict within myself. I recognize that cutting contact with my family could be beneficial for me, but I don’t want to abandon my brother. I sense that he may be part of the LGBTQ+ community, given subtle hints and behaviors I've observed. I fear that leaving would isolate him, yet I don’t know how much longer I can continue pretending to be someone I’m not. I wish I could take him out of that environment, but my partner and I lack the financial means, space, or maturity to care for a teenager. I'm truly at a crossroads and unsure of what to do next. Any advice?

I’m a 19-year-old male, and my girlfriend is also 19. I’m seeking advice because I feel like I’ve been the worst person possible.

I know this may sound a bit dramatic, but please hear me out. I’m a 19-year-old guy, and my girlfriend, also 19, and I met while working at a car factory. We quickly fell in love and have been together for six months now. Recently, I felt it was time for her to tell her dad about our relationship since we both see a future together—something she has expressed as well. However, I might have pressured her too much about it yesterday, leading her to suggest that it would be better for us to break up. We talked again today, and despite my pleas and apologies, she insists that her decision is final. We’ve even discussed marriage and starting a family, and I’ve made sacrifices for our relationship, like turning down a better job opportunity and deciding not to go to college in January so I could focus on building a future with her. Right now, I feel lost and don’t know how to move forward. I can’t believe it’s come to this over my insistence that she speak to her dad, even though I acknowledged my mistake and promised not to pressure her again. She says that staying together would only hurt me more. Should I keep trying to salvage our relationship, even though we’ve broken up? If so, how can I do that?

Am I (18, female) harboring resentment towards my boyfriend (20, male)?

Hello, I’ve been experiencing a sense of indifference lately, and while it’s a long story, I really need some advice, so I hope you’ll bear with me. In September 2024, my boyfriend and I had a significant argument. At that time, he was heavily involved in soccer and was struggling to focus on our relationship. This wasn’t the sole issue for me, though—I was dealing with a lot. My parents were going through a difficult divorce, my pet bunny had passed away, and both of my grandmothers were in the hospital. I was mentally overwhelmed and desperately needed reassurance. I reached out to him multiple times, asking if we could talk, and while he initially agreed, he ultimately canceled on me. That’s when I really lost it. I sent him a detailed message expressing my feelings of being unwanted at home and in our relationship, and how neglected I felt. His response was heartbreaking: he said, "It's nothing you did, but I think our arguments have affected me. I don’t feel the same way anymore, and I wish I did." He mentioned enjoying our time together but feeling worse more often than not, and he conveyed that spending time with me made him want to hang out less, which completely blindsided me. I felt betrayed and wished he had shared his feelings sooner. I ended up apologizing, and we moved on. However, that conversation lingers in my mind. I often wonder how things would be if we had broken up instead. I’m terrified of experiencing another surprise like that and hesitate to ask him to spend time together, fearing that he might not genuinely want to. I find myself mulling over the argument almost weekly, especially whenever we hang out or when our anniversary comes around. After that fight, it felt like I went through a breakup. I distanced myself and didn’t really want to spend time with him, even though I still love him deeply. Now, although we seem happy together and my love for him hasn’t changed, I can’t shake the indifference toward our relationship. I’m not normally one to hold grudges, but this incident affected me profoundly, and I feel like I had to conceal my pain from him during my healing process. I’ve realized that I won’t be able to move on without discussing this with him, but I’m hesitant to bring it up since it happened months ago. I really need clarity and closure on this situation, but the hurt still lingers. I’m reaching out for help on how to approach this conversation. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

feeling d困

My girlfriend [19F] and I [19M] are currently going through a strange phase in our relationship. We've been together for six months, and the first three were wonderful. However, I've noticed that in the past three months, she has been growing increasingly distant. I met her shortly after she ended a five-year relationship, and she recently shared that she never really had the chance to process that breakup. Now, she’s feeling those emotions and has expressed a need for space. She hasn’t broken up with me, and she mentioned that if it's too much for me, she completely understands if I choose to leave. But I don't want to do that because I love her. I know I should respect her request for space, but it's incredibly difficult for me. I’m also worried that if I give her the distance she needs, she might decide to end things. I just don’t know what the right course of action is.

I'm a 22-year-old male in a challenging situation with my 22-year-old girlfriend.

I often feel confused and upset about why my girlfriend struggles with intimacy. Before we got together, she seemed comfortable being adventurous with others, so it feels like a tall order when I ask her to initiate or show more affection during intimate moments. I’m not fond of the things she used to do, and I’ve never been someone who would casually sleep around, but it’s puzzling to me that she seems to lack experience now. She tells me she enjoys our time together, but it’s hard for me to fully embrace it when she appears to be only partially engaged. I can’t figure out what has changed since her past relationships, but it feels like she doesn’t express her sexuality at all. We’ve been together for around two and a half years, and it was never like this at the beginning. I’ve tried discussing it with her, but she tends to get upset, and our conversations often lead nowhere. Communication can be challenging due to her autism and BPD, but I genuinely do my best to talk openly with her about these issues.

The 23-year-old woman I'm talking to, who is 33, mentioned that my constant availability is a turn-off for her.

As mentioned in the title, she expressed that it’s a significant turn-off for her that I’m too available and respond immediately to her messages. Even though I work from home and a quick reply doesn’t inconvenience me, she feels it suggests I’m not dedicated and motivated in my daily tasks. Is this a common feeling among women when a guy replies promptly? Should I consider delaying my responses in the future, even if it’s unnecessary?

Should I continue my relationship with my girlfriend?

**Are We Beyond Repair?** I (27 female) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (25 female) for two years, and we've known each other for three. We’ve been looking forward to getting married, but over the last month, many of our old issues have resurfaced. My girlfriend has an anxious attachment style, and she often disregards my requests for a break when things get heated during arguments. Almost every time, she finds a reason to keep talking, saying things like “I just need to say one more thing” or “Let’s resolve this now," even when I’m feeling overwhelmed with anger. It doesn’t seem to matter how I communicate my need for space—whether I’m upset or calm. No matter how long I ask for that break, whether it’s 30 minutes or a few hours, it never seems to be respected. I’ve threatened to leave on several occasions, which only heightens her anxiety. What troubles me most is that I often feel disrespected. When I’m angry, I say things I later regret, which sends me into a cycle of apologizing and making amends, even though she pushes me to talk when I’m upset. It's genuinely frustrating because I know she loves me, but her actions don’t show the respect I need. I even wrote her a detailed letter expressing my concerns before getting married, with the key condition being that she respects my need for breaks when I need them. She becomes defensive when I express feelings of being uncared for, as she struggles to understand my perspective. We have faced other challenges in our relationship (like her tendency to be controlling and inflexible), but the issue with breaks is the most significant for me. Recently, I needed a 30-minute break and locked myself in a room to calm down. This isn’t an isolated incident; she often follows me and ignores my request for space. In a moment of frustration, I suggested we break up, believing she would never change or give me the breaks I require. I regretted that statement immediately, as it caused her to break down in tears. She promised to respect my needs from then on. The following day, she expressed that I should never threaten to end our relationship again. I responded by saying she needed to honor my request for breaks as she had promised. Her response included “be patient with my progress,” which feels like a way of saying she isn’t willing to change. We’re now on our third couples therapist, all of whom have conveyed the same message to her. I don’t understand why she seems resistant to change. Threats haven’t worked, and neither has therapy, leaving me feeling lost. I truly believe she is my soulmate and can’t imagine finding anyone quite like her. However, I can’t shake the feeling of being disrespected and trapped in this relationship.

My 29-year-old girlfriend wants to be friends with someone she dated prior to our exclusive relationship, and I'm 29M. Would this be a dealbreaker for me?

My girlfriend had been dating and intimate with a friend from her circle before we started our relationship. They were seeing each other casually for about a month and a half, and things were winding down when I entered the scene. I requested that she cut off contact with him but suggested we could revisit the idea of rekindling their friendship after two months. Now, six months later, she wants to resume their friendship, but it’s not in the way we had discussed; she’s just gone ahead with it. She mentioned feeling guilty for ending their friendship and expressed a desire to stay connected, especially since they had been friends for many years prior to our relationship. However, my discomfort stems from the fact that she was involved with him before we became exclusive. Additionally, she was also friends with an ex from eight years ago, and I had asked her to stop meeting him for lunch. A couple of months later, she revealed that he had confessed his love for her. While she did remove him from her friend list, it was challenging to explain why discussing his feelings with him was disrespectful to our relationship. Now, she’s also interested in rekindling that friendship, but I’ve made it clear that I’m not comfortable with it. After a lengthy conversation, we reached a compromise: she won’t restart her friendship with the long-term ex, and for the friend from her group, they can resume their friendship as long as there are strict boundaries in place—such as not discussing our relationship, avoiding late-night texting, being transparent about their interactions, and not having one-on-one meetups. Is this compromise fair and reasonable? I’m not worried about losing her, but I strongly believe that clear boundaries need to be established regarding past relationships. **TL;DR:** My girlfriend wants to reconnect with her exes, and I’m feeling uneasy about it.

My husband (27M) woke up feeling grumpy and has been quite short with me. Any suggestions?

Hey everyone, I (23 F) could really use some advice. My husband (27 M) and I have been together for a year, and today he woke up in a bad mood and was short with me until I headed out for the day. I had no idea what was bothering him at first, but he eventually admitted that he had a dream about me cheating on him. I can assure you I've never cheated and never will, and he knows that. He mentioned that he’s processing everything, but I’m not quite sure what there is to work through. That’s not all, though. He tends to shut down during these moments, and while I try to give him the space he needs—understanding how important that is given my own struggles with mental health—it feels pretty isolating to be emotionally shut out while he figures things out. He has expressed his insecurities and worries about me being unfaithful before, and it’s starting to take a toll on me. Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.

I'm feeling utterly confused and require urgent assistance.

Subject: Seeking Guidance Hello, everyone. I'm posting here anonymously for personal reasons. I could really use some help or advice right now. I feel incredibly lost and would appreciate any compassion from those who take the time to read my story. I'll do my best to keep it succinct, but some context is necessary. I'm a 22-year-old woman. A few months ago, during a university program in Asia, I met a man who seemed like my ideal partner. He’s 37, which is significant to my story. He appears younger than his age and is full of life—gentle, caring, but somewhat immature as well. We have been together for six months now, and things started off beautifully. We clicked right away, and shortly after we met, he moved in with me at my homestay. With no responsibilities—financially stable, eating out, and no house chores—we enjoyed a carefree lifestyle together. We share similar dreams and lifestyles, both being active, artistic, and plant-based. However, I struggle with insecurity, which has been damaging our relationship. I have trust issues that have been surfacing, even though he made me feel special in the beginning. An incident still haunts me: when I asked how he felt about my appearance when we first met, he said it didn’t matter to him. This response, which may have been well-intentioned, left me feeling undesirable, as though he had settled for me. Despite his reassurances later that he finds me attractive, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m not his type. I’m more curvy than I’d like to be, and the lack of compliments from him makes me question why he’d choose me if he doesn’t truly like me. Another point of tension in our relationship is cleanliness. I can be disorganized, while he jokingly claims to have OCD. These issues have been apparent from the start. In the early days, he eagerly introduced me to his parents and friends, wanting me to understand his world. His friends were kind, which made me believe he was too, but the fact that he primarily has female friends has fueled my insecurities. He insists he feels no attraction to them, as they’re like family, but I often feel inadequate. After two months of dating, we decided to get married—a significant decision that we've come to realize was premature. He left everything familiar to him for this relationship, and the process of obtaining the necessary visas and planning our wedding left us both drained. The stress led to arguments, tears, and feelings of entrapment as we struggled to communicate. He’s an artist and trader, which complicates his ability to find work here and made me realize he wasn’t prepared for the realities of life in Europe, where men often take on more hands-on tasks. This became a source of embarrassment for me, and I found myself frequently relying on my family for help. During heated exchanges, I’d tell him he wasn't “manly” enough, which affected our intimate life. Compounded with my own trauma from past relationships, my feelings of being used after intimacy led to more issues. He began to struggle with intimacy, feeling attacked by my angry words. He has expressed a desire to start therapy for himself, and I’m considering it too. We live in a small apartment without much privacy, and since neither of us is working, the close quarters have strained our relationship further. Our arguments have escalated over minor issues, and the lack of intimacy has left us both feeling drained and disconnected. I often find myself overwhelmed by the responsibilities of cooking and cleaning, feeling as though I’m playing the role of his caretaker rather than a partner. I’m now questioning whether I’m ready for this relationship or if he is the right person for me. I want stability and a future that includes children, which requires financial security. I feel as though I’ve lost myself and am no longer enjoying life. Am I simply too young for this? Should I reassess my priorities? Is he worth fighting for? I’m at a crossroads and would appreciate any insights. Thank you for listening.

Valentine's Day Double Standard

As a 45-year-old man preparing for Valentine’s Day, I'm curious about whether it's unreasonable to expect my 45-year-old wife to reciprocate my efforts. If I choose not to do anything, I know I’ll be met with the usual "This shows you don't care/love me" conversation. Is there a double standard when it comes to Valentine’s Day? Would it be fair for me to express a similar sentiment if she doesn’t make any effort?

My partner (M19) isn't as affectionate or attentive as he used to be during a crucial time in my life.

My boyfriend and I started dating last year during our third year of high school. Initially, he was incredibly affectionate, showering me with long messages and letters expressing his love and admiration for me. Recently, it seems our relationship has shifted, despite our commitment to one another. He has shown similar feelings for his ex of four years, while this is my first relationship. As we enter our final year of high school, I've noticed a decline in his affection. His messages have become much shorter, and he no longer seems interested in holding my hand. He's been busy with cheer practice and often prefers to hang out with his other friends instead of spending time with me. He’s a wonderful guy, living independently without parental support, which understandably keeps him quite occupied compared to most students. I sometimes feel he’s annoyed with me, but perhaps that's my own fault for seeking his attention when I crave it. We’ve had arguments about him going to girls’ debuts without me and over small moments where I felt disrespected. He even suggested that I should stop worrying so much about him. He remains friends with his long-time ex, who is also on his cheer team. Even though he reassures me that he still loves me, I can’t shake off my insecurities. With so much change ahead—I'm moving to the capital to study engineering while he goes abroad—I find myself questioning everything. I want to pursue my dreams of becoming an engineer while keeping him in my life. Is this relationship worth all the uncertainty? Should I consider taking a break and letting him go?

How should I (32F) bring up the topic of my date's (31M) micro penis?

I've been seeing this guy for about 2-3 weeks, and during our first date, we got a bit carried away. When he finally took off his pants, I was surprised to see that he has the smallest penis and testicles I've ever come across—around 3 inches at most, and the girth is comparable to a finger. His balls fit comfortably in my hand, and I have small hands! Honestly, I don't mind it at all; I had a lot of fun with him. He’s incredibly sensitive, which I find appealing. I'm genuinely looking forward to being intimate with him, and we have plans this weekend to explore some adventurous things together. What I really appreciate is his confidence—he didn't hesitate to undress and never brings up the size of his anatomy. However, there's one thing that’s a bit off-putting: during our dirty talk, he keeps saying things like "how deep he's going to go" and other phrases that suggest a level of penetration that doesn't quite match reality. It’s confusing and somewhat of a turn-off for me. I can't tell if he’s aware of his size and wants me to indulge in a fantasy, or if he genuinely believes he’ll make me feel him deeply. I’m anxious because, either way, I doubt I’ll feel much, and I don’t want to mislead him if he asks for my thoughts. What should I do? I really like him, and I can see a serious relationship developing. I just need some guidance on how to respond if he seeks reassurance about being "deep" with me. EDIT: Just to clarify, it’s the dirty talk that bothers me, not his actual anatomy.

I'm an 18-year-old male, and there's a 22-year-old female at my workplace. Is that age difference too significant?

I work with a girl who's 22, and I'm 18. I really like her, but I'm not sure if she thinks I'm too young. We've been working together for two months, and with Valentine's Day approaching, I asked her about her plans. She mentioned that she recently broke up with someone and doesn’t have anyone at the moment. I haven't asked for her social media yet, so we only communicate while we're at work. Is the age gap too significant to be considered odd? Should I ask for her social media? Any advice would be appreciated!

How to establish boundaries with my partner

My fiancé (39M) and I (35F) have been together for just over five years, and we have a strong relationship. We’re set to get married this June. However, something has come up recently that has intensified my anxiety, and I can’t seem to shake it. We both work for the same company, though we don’t interact during the day. Recently, a new girl was hired to fill my fiancé’s old role, and he has been tasked with her training. From the start, I felt an odd instinct about her, influenced by her outgoing personality and her social media presence, which includes many provocative and revealing photos. She’s only 23. Since she joined the team, I’ve noticed my fiancé frequently brings her up in conversation—what she had for lunch, something funny she said, and so on. It’s starting to irritate me. I’ve also caught them texting late into the night after work. One day, feeling particularly anxious, I looked through his texts on his laptop. Most of the messages were work-related, but there were definitely some flirty comments mixed in. She referred to him as "Thanks papa," called him dreamy-eyed, and sent him playful memes at night. There was even a time she called him in tears, upset about a work-related issue. Additionally, he recently followed her on Instagram despite claiming he rarely uses the app and doesn’t follow any other coworkers. (I found that out while snooping, which I regret.) I’m unsure how to discuss my discomfort with him, especially considering the way I discovered this information. I want to explain my feelings without admitting that I looked through his messages. I don’t believe he’s cheating, but I’m concerned it could lead to emotional infidelity or that he might be attracted to her. He even mentioned wanting to switch gyms to one that she attends, which he brought up casually. How should I approach this situation? **TL;DR:** I'm anxious about my fiancé's new coworker and unsure how to bring up my concerns.

My boyfriend asked me if it was alright for him to watch pornography.

Subject: HELP! My Long-Distance Boyfriend's Unexpected Question My long-distance boyfriend (we live in different states and only see each other every few months) surprised me by asking something out of the blue. I was taken aback and didn't know how to respond, so I ended up saying, "I don't know." Now, I'm questioning whether it's acceptable for him to watch porn while in a relationship. Is this normal, and should I be okay with it? What should I do? I'm 18 (F) and he's 21 (M).

What steps should we take? Young couple facing challenges after an abortion in the UK.

I've been in a turbulent relationship with my girlfriend recently. A couple of weeks ago, she discovered she was pregnant, just under 8 weeks along. Even though I hold traditional views, I felt that keeping the baby wasn't the right choice for us. She was already firm in her decision, and last week she went through with terminating the pregnancy, which I supported. It felt like the best decision for both of us at that time, but we both understandably have some regrets. I'm also struggling with self-diagnosed alcoholism, drinking excessively almost every day, which has intensified my feelings of regret about our choice. While I know my girlfriend wouldn't have changed her mind, I can't help but think about the child we could have had. What should I do?

My boyfriend mentioned that he wasn't feeling happy.

I’m an 18-year-old female, and my boyfriend, S, is 19. We've been together for almost a year, but things have become really rocky recently. I know I’m the one causing a lot of the issues in the relationship, but I’m actively working on improving myself; I just need to develop more self-discipline. S is currently involved in choir and theater competitions, with theater lasting until around April and choir until May. I’ve always struggled with mood swings and tend to lash out at people without any real reason. I also have a habit of putting myself in dangerous situations, like walking around at night, despite S’s constant warnings. This behavior, along with not sharing what’s going on with my parents, has strained our relationship. I realize I have become quite dependent on him. Yesterday, S called and expressed that he isn’t happy with me, though he reassured me that he still loves and cares for me. He mentioned that even if I improve, there's no guarantee things will work out, and that thought terrifies me. In a moment of vulnerability, when he said he couldn’t take the unhappiness anymore, I begged him to stay, promising I would talk to my parents and heed his advice. He decided to stick around. I did end up talking to my parents, and I’ve also made a commitment not to walk outside at night anymore. We still plan to celebrate our one-year anniversary. He has affirmed that he loves me romantically and wants to care for me, and he even mentioned that if we were to break up, he would want to remain friends. I’m looking for advice on how to make him happy again and how to strengthen our relationship. I’ll provide an update in about 6 to 12 months. **TL;DR:** My boyfriend has expressed he hasn’t been happy with me recently, and I recognize that I am the toxic one in the relationship, but he still loves me. I’m seeking advice on how to rebuild and improve our relationship.

Why does he seem distant after we've been intimate? I'm uncertain about our relationship.

I've been seeing this guy (22M) for a while now, and I'm not quite sure how to define our relationship—friends with benefits seems to fit. However, he often gets upset at the idea of me being with someone else, which feels a bit unfair since he hasn't made any effort to deepen our relationship beyond the physical aspect. I recently discovered that he’s been sleeping with other women while I've been having unprotected sex with him. When we’re together, he’s incredibly passionate—playful, talkative, and genuinely excited about being with me. But afterward, he completely shuts down. He becomes distant and quiet, choosing his words carefully and acting very intentionally. The hardest part is that he won’t even hold me afterwards; he just lies there silently, which really hurts. I'm left wondering: is this just post-nut clarity? Does he not want me in the same way I want him? Or is there something else I’m missing? I'm really confused about the whole situation.

Nonverbal Communication

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and my boyfriend is 32. We’ve been together for nearly nine years. In the past, he has shared that when he feels upset, sad, anxious, or depressed, he tends to shut down—which I completely understand. These periods of withdrawal can last anywhere from half a day to four days. It pains me to see him go through this alone, especially since he has mentioned that opening up might help, but he struggles to do so. I, on the other hand, thrive on transparency and open communication about issues that matter. Over time, I learned that confronting him can really affect him negatively, so I’ve been attending therapy for the past few years. This has helped me find ways to find closure on my own and approach sensitive topics in a less confrontational manner. Additionally, I've been working on my own trust issues stemming from his infidelities in the first year of our relationship (that’s a whole other story). He promised to work on his communication and attend therapy as well, but in the year and a half since he first made that promise, he has only managed to attend about four or five sessions. Fast forward to now: we hardly ever argue, and he seldom initiates conflicts. This could be because he is more easygoing and not easily bothered, or it may stem from his fear of confrontation, causing him to bottle up any negative feelings or criticisms to avoid tough discussions. We’ve agreed to strike a balance between my approach to conflict and his. The understanding was that if he needs time to himself, he should at least communicate that and provide a timeframe for when we can resume talking—whether it’s a day, a few hours, or something else. However, we had a disagreement nearly four days ago, and since then, he has been giving me the silent treatment without communicating his need for space or how long it would last. He approached me once during this time, which made me think he was ready to talk, but it escalated into another argument, during which he accused me of "forcing him to talk when he didn’t want to," even though he initiated the conversation. After that, I decided to give him space and ignore him. He later expressed that he still wanted us to attend a party we had agreed on, so we went. At the party, he publicly ignored and dismissed me in front of our friends and even conversed with one of the women he had cheated on me with before. This felt intentional, as though he was trying to hurt or punish me. I was upset and quietly left the party alone, returning to our place, which prompted a conversation I initiated the next morning. In hindsight, I should have waited for him to approach me instead. The discussion lasted over 30 minutes, during which he insisted that I wasn’t respecting his need for space and that approaching the woman wasn’t meant to hurt me. He also admitted he has no intentions of attending therapy and believes I am asking too much by simply wanting him to communicate when he’s experiencing anxiety and needs time, as well as how long he might need. I don’t require detailed insight into his thoughts—just a little heads-up. He claims my request is controlling and disrespectful. For as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with feeling guilty easily, so I can’t help but wonder if I’m overreacting or indeed asking for too much, as he claims.

My girlfriend mentioned that she needs some time to herself.

My girlfriend is 25, and I’m 32. We’ve been together for four months, but she just let me know that she needs some space. She said it’s not me, but her, and that when she’s ready, she’ll reach out. She delivered all this in about an hour. I’ve been training in the army every few days, which leaves me fatigue and resting a lot, so I haven’t been able to talk much. I understood that she might struggle with being in a relationship with someone who is away for a few weeks every month. Lately, she’s been giving me attitude during our calls and seems upset with me for no clear reason. It feels like she’s used to having me around and now that I can’t be, she’s acting out. I’m just not sure where I went wrong.

Three-way experience with my partner.

I've been dating my boyfriend [19M] for two years and four months, and he recently brought up the idea of having a threesome with another girl. I'm unsure how to react to his interest in this. When I asked him why he wants to pursue it, he mentioned that he sees it as a shared experience with me and thinks it could be fun. However, I can't shake the feeling that he might want to be with other girls without feeling guilty. I'm seeking some advice—am I overthinking this, or am I onto something?

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