Relationship advices

Toxic Relationships • 15d ago

My boyfriend (29M) and I (24F) have been together for seven years, but I want to end the relationship. I need some advice.

My boyfriend (29M) and I (24F) have been together for the past seven years, but the last few have been particularly challenging. I often feel that he provides me with very little emotional support, especially during my breakdowns. Last night, we had a heated argument in public. While I was sobbing and struggling to cope, he raised his voice at me and even called his mother to say that I’m making his life difficult by arguing all the time. Although I admit that I can get into arguments, he tends to completely dismiss my feelings, which is what leads to these conflicts. I'm quite attached to him, and it’s hard for me to imagine ending this relationship. However, this latest fight made me realize that I may have been emotionally abused for years. At one point, he physically pulled and pushed me in public while trying to get me to the car. So here I am, seeking advice on whether I should stay in this relationship. If I decide to leave, how can I move on when I’m feeling so trapped?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 15d ago

The potential partner is interested in casually engaging with other women.

I've (23F) been seeing a guy (23M) from Tinder for a few weeks, and last night he expressed his desire to have a serious relationship with me, but he doesn't want to be sexually exclusive. During our time together, I've been focused on him and haven't pursued anyone else, but he has gone on dates with other women. He claims he doesn’t view them as highly as me and hasn’t been physical with any of them. He mentioned that he craves the idea of exploring his sexuality with multiple women throughout the week or year. Nevertheless, he values our time together—our dates, deep conversations, and the support we provide each other in our personal growth. When we're together, the time flies because we genuinely enjoy each other's company, and he shows he cares by paying for meals, covering my petrol, taking me to places I would like, and truly listening to what I have to say. Although he needs to visit his parents who live six hours away, he’s delayed it to spend more time with me. I've been single for two years, struggling to find a connection like this, and I'm hesitant to walk away. I feel a bond with him that I doubt I'll find again. We have a satisfying sexual relationship, but he keeps insisting that he longs for the experience of being with multiple women purely for pleasure, without any emotional involvement. He views sex as a physical act without personal or romantic implications. I want a serious relationship that encompasses exclusivity in every way, but I'm torn because I genuinely feel a connection with him that I haven’t felt in a long time. I fear that while he claims to seek fun, there’s a risk of emotional entanglement developing with other women. He’s never had a "hoe phase," and I’m unsure if this desire is just a phase or a deeper yearning for exploration. He even mentioned that he ended his last relationship because he felt the urge to see other women but didn’t want to cheat. After discussing all of this for nearly three hours last night, he broke down in tears, expressing how much he would miss me and fearing I wouldn’t return after leaving. He’s since reached out, saying he’s unsure of the right path forward and feels conflicted between his attraction to me and his sexual drive for other women. Given how much we enjoy each other, should we just be friends with or without benefits? I'm feeling incredibly emotionally confused about everything—last night, I couldn’t sleep, and I’ve lost my appetite. I really need some guidance.


Trust and Jealousy • 15d ago

What steps should I take?

I (25F) and my boyfriend (34M) have been together for nearly two years. To give you some background on our relationship: we met in 2021 and initially became close friends, which eventually led to a friends-with-benefits situation. I fell in love with him, but he didn’t feel the same way at first — he had a bit of a player reputation before we started dating. Before we became an official couple, he went overseas for a job on a ship. A few weeks after he left, I found out I was pregnant, which caused him to panic because he wasn't ready for fatherhood. He urged me to see a doctor to confirm the pregnancy, and later that day, he called to say he was considering a relationship with me and would formally ask when he returned home. However, during the three months he was at sea, he was talking to other girls while I remained completely loyal to him. During this time, I also suffered a miscarriage, which was incredibly difficult for me. When he returned home, he wouldn’t give me a clear answer about wanting to date, and it took me expressing that I could no longer wait for him to realize he might lose me. Once we officially started dating, things seemed to be going well until I had a gut feeling to check his old phone (I know snooping is wrong). What I found shattered me: evidence of the women he had been talking to and explicit pictures he received while I was confiding in him about my loss. We talked things through, but my trust was shaken, especially after discovering notes on his phone listing the pros and cons of dating me. Fast forward a month, we were lounging on the couch together. He was moving between his phone and YouTube videos. When I stepped out to use the bathroom, I noticed he quickly locked his phone. I became suspicious but tried to remain calm. When I returned, I caught a glimpse of him on Reddit looking at explicit content. I confronted him, and while he tried to dismiss it, he knew I saw everything. I was upset because, given my past experiences with my ex, I have strong feelings against pornography. He apologized, but it felt empty since he already knew how I felt. Throughout our relationship, we've faced ups and downs, but the main issue has been me repeatedly catching him looking at porn or naked women online. The last incident was particularly hurtful: we had an intimate morning, went shopping, and when I opened the car door to get in, he was looking at explicit content. I was devastated, and while he apologized over and over again, it felt like he was only regretful about being caught. After expressing how his actions made me feel disrespected, he seemed to understand and hasn’t repeated the behavior since. Recently, I discovered troubling information. Before his last trip, he used my dad's backup phone while waiting for his phone to be repaired. He left everything logged in for me to see, and while browsing his emails, I noticed one that stood out. It was from a girl who helped him renew his driver’s license; she emailed him, saying "I thought you looked cute." He responded casually and ultimately gave her his number. I recently saw their conversation where she expressed her interest in him, and he flirted back, even saying, "I could say the same about you." They discussed whether he was married, which made it seem like he was trying to appear single despite having a profile picture of us together on WhatsApp. Reddit, I’m at a loss for what to do. I genuinely love this guy; he’s done so much for me, from caring for me to helping me out of a deep depression when we first met. In my past relationships, I always felt like I was the one giving. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 15d ago

Connection between my boyfriend (38M) and me (28F)?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months, but it feels much longer. We’ve known each other for three months now. We first met during a work trip for emergency disaster relief, and I can’t quite explain it, but we clicked instantly. We were seated next to each other in the van and have been inseparable ever since. We shared every meal together and worked alongside each other for 12-hour shifts, always finding time to hang out afterward. He would come to my hotel room to watch TV with me, and ever since that trip, we’ve been together. Now, we meet up several times a week, and our relationship has blossomed. Is it odd that it feels like we’ve known each other our whole lives? He’s even talking about the future—marriage and kids. It honestly feels like we were meant to be. We never experienced any awkward phases. What do you think? Was this meant to happen?


Toxic Relationships • 15d ago

Am I, a 19-year-old female, being controlling with my 18-year-old male boyfriend?

**Am I being toxic to my boyfriend (18M) at 19?** My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. I have to admit that I was aware he was best friends with his ex before we started dating, and I received some warnings about it from others. The first month of our relationship went smoothly, but by the second month, I started noticing that he was bringing up his ex more often—almost to provoke jealousy. He mentioned how he found her attractive and smart, which upset me. I brought it up with him, and he stopped talking about her for a few weeks. However, around the four-month mark, he became increasingly "friendly" with her. I expressed my discomfort with their relationship, but he insisted they were just friends. The next day, a friend saw him hugging her at college, and though I was hesitant to take her word for it, I caught a glimpse myself. When I confronted him about it, he claimed he hugged her because she was upset. A few days later, he said he had ended his friendship with her for my sake, even though I had never asked him to do that. He made me feel guilty by saying he had no one left and begged me not to leave him. Fast forward to nine months into the relationship, and he started posting TikToks about her. One video expressed that she was the best female in his life, which hurt me deeply. When I confronted him about his lack of change after I mentioned it multiple times, he acted immature. On our ten-month anniversary, he called me by his ex’s name while we were making out, which broke my heart. He apologized, saying it was an accident, and that he’d called his ex by my name too, as if that made it any better. I decided that I needed some space to focus on myself. The next day, he told me he was going to a game, but it turned out he was actually going to see a celebrity crush. He admitted he didn’t want to tell me because he thought I'd get "mad," even though I wouldn’t have been upset. Later, I discovered he had given her a perfume, while he hasn’t given me anything in the entire 11 months we’ve been together. Shortly after, he posted a story about how his ex was at his house, just the two of them. I know it might seem like I don’t trust him, but his actions have led me to lose trust over time. Then he suggested we take a break because he wasn’t happy anymore. I took a few hours to respond and told him, “You don’t value me, and I feel like you disregard my requests. I've been distancing myself because your actions show that you don’t care. You should know what’s right and wrong. I don’t care about the sweet words you say; I need you to show me you want me through your actions.” He replied, “Sorry, I know I don’t listen to you. I’m still young and want to enjoy the moment without telling you when I’m going out.” I couldn’t believe that—he gets jealous when I go out with friends, yet he expected me to be okay with him going out without keeping me in the loop. Today, I posted a TikTok, which he typically engages with by liking, commenting, and reposting. But today, he just viewed it. I asked him why he didn’t interact with it as usual, and he said, “Because I want a more private life and to change some things about myself.” What should I do?


Trust and Jealousy • 15d ago

My boyfriend frequently returns home much later than he originally tells me.

Whenever my boyfriend (21M) goes out with his friends, he tells me the time he expects to be back. We started doing this after moving in together because I’m not comfortable leaving the front door unlocked all night. We usually agree on a reasonable time. The problem is, he often comes home hours later than he said he would. It’s rare for him to return close to the agreed time. I would be okay with it if he just took a moment to text or call me, but he doesn't reach out at all while he's out. This leaves me waiting for up to 10 hours without hearing from him, forcing me to stay up until 2 or 3 AM, only for him to come home with no explanation other than “plans ran late.” This has happened so many times that I’m seriously considering ending the relationship. Does anyone have any advice?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 15d ago

Update: I'm attempting to befriend this American guy, but things are starting to feel strange and frustrating.

I've been chatting with an American guy in his twenties, and since I don’t feel like we know each other well enough yet, I suggested we just be friends for the time being. He agreed, and we decided to talk more regularly to build a solid friendship. Recently, I told him I’d call him while I was on my way home, but when I tried, my network failed, and the call didn’t go through. Later on, I called again and mentioned that I attempted to reach him earlier, and he responded, “No, you didn’t. You can admit it.” This frustrated me because I genuinely tried to connect, and he acted as if I were lying. Another thing getting to me is his frequent comments about just making money, which feel dismissive. It's like he's trying too hard to come across as busy and important, and it’s becoming repetitive and annoying. He often talks about how God shows him visions of people as “snakes” or disloyal, which I suspect may be aimed at me. This really irritates me since I’ve done nothing to warrant that kind of accusation. I don’t owe him anything, and we’re still in the early stages of getting to know each other, so it seems unfair for him to project these strange notions onto me. At one point, he asked, “Why did you choose me?” as if there was some profound reason behind it. Honestly, I didn’t “choose” him; I just thought we could be friends because we had some common interests. But his behavior is making me rethink even trying. When I mentioned I talk to other guys because we’re just friends, he asked, “Why me?” This behavior baffles me, especially since I'm not exclusively speaking to him. Sure, he’s good-looking, but his attitude is starting to make him seem less appealing. I never claimed he was the only one I was talking to; it's clear I'm doing the same with others, but I treat him a bit differently. The last straw came when I forgot to call him one day due to school and other responsibilities. He responded with, “I don’t expect anything from you now,” in a passive-aggressive way, as if I did something wrong just for being busy. Excuse me, but I have a life. This whole situation is becoming overwhelming. His dramatic behavior and delusions of love for someone he barely knows are draining. I’ve tried to be understanding, but it’s exhausting. Things escalated today when we argued over some rude comments he made. He claimed it was very one-sided, saying I only think of him when I’m bored or have no one else to talk to. This hurt because it felt like he was accusing me of only reaching out when I had nothing better to do, which isn’t true. He expressed disappointment and claimed I’m just a party girl who isn’t ready for his vision of life. He talked about wanting a family while I just want to have fun, which felt like a huge assumption. He even said that by the time I’m ready to settle down, all the good guys will be taken. He remarked, “I don’t want to feel strung along or sidelined,” and said it’s unattractive when I’m “always sleeping or out late.” He wrapped up by saying I’m a sweet, beautiful girl, but that I’m “just not right for him.” Honestly, I’m feeling exhausted by all this pressure and his assumptions. I thought we could just be friends, but now it seems like he’s expecting more than I can offer. I’m just 18, trying to figure things out, and I don’t need this emotional burden.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 15d ago

My husband (34M) believes that I (33F) idealize him and tend to treat him like a parental figure.

My husband (34M) believes that I (33F) treat him like a parent, drawing from the adult/parent/child dynamic popularized by a leadership figure whose name I can't recall. He feels like I've placed him on a pedestal, and I worry that this is damaging our long-term relationship. I'm feeling stuck in a mental rut. I'm unsure how to change this mindset because I don't fully grasp what I'm doing wrong. Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you overcome it? What strategies did you implement, and what kind of mental shift did you need to achieve?


Breakups and Divorces • 15d ago

My girlfriend (19F) broke up with me (19M), and I'm feeling really confused about it.

Hey everyone, I really need some advice. To give you some background, my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half. We've done everything together, and she truly meant the world to me. Recently, we encountered some minor issues due to her starting college in a different town and me beginning an apprenticeship, which has brought some challenges as we navigate adulthood. Although these situations weren't major, we still saw each other often and maintained a good level of happiness. However, over the past week, I noticed she was acting differently—almost detached, similar to a chat with someone who wasn’t interested. This change worried me about both her and our relationship. I reached out to her, asking if something was bothering her, but she simply mentioned being busy with college. Normally, we communicate very well and tackle our issues together, but this time felt different, and I had a bad feeling something was wrong. After a few days of her distancing herself, she unexpectedly brought up breaking up. I had a sense this might happen, but it still shocked me. She explained that she dislikes the distance between us but doesn’t want to be with anyone else. She also mentioned feeling too emotionally reliant on me and being uncertain about who she is amidst all the changes in her life—not because of our relationship, but due to everything else going on. Heartbroken, I respected her decision, and we ended things. I tried to suggest ways we could work through this together, but she felt it wouldn’t be fair to me. Just a few hours later, though, she texted to apologize, calling it a mistake and expressing that she doesn’t want to lose me. She then asked if we could get back together, but I told her I was feeling a whirlwind of emotions, so we agreed to take a week to think things over and meet up this Saturday. Last night, we talked again, and she mentioned that she wasn’t sure if she wanted to get back together. I’m just really confused and feeling awful. The uncertainty is tough, but I want to be there for her during this struggle. Sorry for the lengthy message, but if anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you!


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 15d ago

Ending a relationship with a partner who has a porn addiction.

I'm not really sure where to begin... I'm a 22-year-old woman, and my 32-year-old ex-boyfriend just ended our relationship due to his porn addiction. We were together for nearly two years, and while we fought often, we managed to stay together. The highlight of our relationship was definitely the first month — we were intimate nearly every day, and it felt amazing. He was my first boyfriend, and since I was a virgin back then, everything was exciting and new for me. However, as time went on, our sexual intimacy became less frequent. We went from being intimate once a week to once a month, and eventually, we hadn’t been intimate at all for about five months. I initially thought it was due to stress from his new job, and when I brought it up, that’s what he said too. I tried to give him space and not pressure him, but it eventually made me really frustrated. I attempted to initiate intimacy countless times, even surprising him with sexy lingerie, but he said he felt pressured by that. I tried to touch him randomly and initiate sex, but it never worked out. He’d either say we would do it later and it would never happen, or he would claim he was too tired or give other excuses. I knew he was watching porn since I’d asked him about it before, and it started to make sense to me. When I confronted him, he admitted he wasn't addicted to porn, just to masturbating, which he claimed helped relieve his stress. This didn’t add up for me — if he was too stressed to sleep with me, then why could he find the mood to masturbate? I tolerated this for months, continuing to try and initiate intimacy until I reached my breaking point. Feeling rejected made me insecure, especially as I compared myself to the women in the porn he watched. I made the decision to leave him, and we took a month-long break during which I practiced no contact. Eventually, he reached out and confessed he was addicted to porn. He shared details about his past relationships and said this habit had started when he was a teenager but he had never seen it as a problem. He didn’t know why he couldn’t stop and promised to go to therapy, block all porn sites, quit masturbation completely, and focus on us. For about a month, everything seemed to improve. He kept me updated, went to therapy twice a week, and I felt happier than ever in our relationship. I saw him making an effort, coming up with new ideas for our sex life, and genuinely desiring me. We started going on dates more often and even signed a contract to move in together. But then things took a turn again; he stopped initiating intimacy. We were both going through a stressful time, so I told him it was okay if he was struggling, but he needed to communicate with me. I checked in with him often, reassuring him, and he always promised he wouldn’t go down that path again, insisting that he wouldn’t hurt me after losing me once. However, one day, after trying to spark intimacy and failing, I snapped. I confronted him, told him I had a gut feeling he was watching porn, and asked for the truth. He admitted he had jerked off to a picture of me the day before. Ironically, on the very same day we signed the contract to move in together, I ended our relationship. While he was out walking his dog, I looked at his search history on his computer and saw evidence of him watching porn multiple times a day, even on the days he attended therapy and the day he claimed to have masturbated to my picture. It shattered me. When he returned, there was a deafening silence. I asked him about it, and he said he couldn't tell me because he thought he could overcome it on his own. He admitted he was afraid of my reaction. I became furious because he had lied to me every time I asked about it, fully aware of how significant it was for our relationship. I ended things and left. It’s been five days now, and my heart is broken. Strangely, I still hold onto hope that things could work out and that it’s not as if he cheated or did something unforgivable. We had plans for the future — moving in together, starting a family — do you think he regrets it? Do you believe he might come back? Can a person change? I really didn’t want to give up; I truly love him. He always told me he had never gone this far for any girl, and that if we broke up, he would be alone forever. Today we saw each other briefly because I needed to give him something urgent. He brought back all my things and didn’t look me in the eye. He simply told me I deserve to be happy. I apologize if my writing has mistakes, and I hope I’m not alone in this experience. If anyone has thoughts or advice, I would really appreciate it. Thank you, and I hope you all have a great day.


Mental Health • 15d ago

M(21) F(22) My girlfriend told me last week that I’m the only one who makes her happy, and I'm feeling a lot of pressure because of it.

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a year and four months. Throughout this time, we've shared wonderful moments and created lasting memories, but she has faced a challenging family life marked by emotional abuse and has few friends to support her. Since we began dating, she has struggled with anxiety, often becoming overwhelmed by the smallest issues. I understand how debilitating anxiety can be, and I want to be supportive without adding to her stress. She has opened up about feeling insecure about her appearance and experiencing deep depression, mentioning that I'm the only person who brings her joy. While I've tried to manage my feelings and support her over the past year, I'm currently juggling college, a sport, and a part-time job, which can be overwhelming. I sometimes feel the weight of responsibility for her happiness, rather than just enjoying the role of being her boyfriend. Recently, I excitedly shared news about a potential summer internship, and her reaction was a sarcastic "great," expressing concern that it would limit our time together since the internship is in a different area. When I pointed out her comment, she abruptly said we were done. I was taken aback and asked if she really wanted to break up; she quickly clarified that she didn’t want that but felt jealous that I seem to have everything figured out while she struggles to find work in her field. This made me feel terrible, and all I could do was hold her as she cried. We've gone through this cycle of "breaking up" about five times now, and each time, I sense that she doesn't genuinely want to end things. This last incident hit me hard because she's expressed feelings of hopelessness, saying she doesn't want to be here anymore. I can't imagine leaving her, as I love her deeply and worry about how she would cope without my support. I really need some advice because I’ve been struggling with this situation a lot.


Communication Problems • 15d ago

(27M, 25F) What steps can I take to enhance emotional intimacy in my relationship?

Hello Reddit, I’m a 27-year-old male in a relationship with my 25-year-old female partner, and we’ve been together for just over a year. Overall, things are going well; we communicate effectively and have a strong bond. However, I've noticed that our conversations have become somewhat routine and less stimulating lately. I'm eager to enhance our connection and foster more meaningful discussions that help us understand each other better. I've been trying different approaches, like asking open-ended and thought-provoking questions, and while that’s been somewhat beneficial, I feel there's still a significant opportunity to improve our emotional intimacy. For those of you who have successfully tackled this issue, what strategies or specific questions did you use to deepen emotional intimacy in your relationship? Were there any particular rituals or techniques that worked for you? **TL;DR:** I'm a 27M in a happy relationship with a 25F partner and seeking advice on how to enhance emotional intimacy and have deeper conversations.


Mental Health • 15d ago

Is love a form of mental illness? Here's my perspective.

With ample time and exposure, it's possible to cultivate a deep affection or love for nearly anything—be it a person, hobby, place, or even an inanimate object. This evolution occurs as familiarity and understanding grow, ultimately fostering what we perceive as love. Recent research utilizing brain scans illustrates that the experience of being in love triggers changes in the brain that bear striking resemblance to certain severe mental health issues, including drug addiction. Research indicates that serotonin levels tend to decline in the initial phases of love, a phenomenon also observed in individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). This drop in serotonin may clarify the obsessive thoughts associated with infatuation, which often impede logical and long-term thinking. Serotonin, a hormone naturally produced by the body, plays a crucial role in a variety of bodily functions; thus, developing love for someone or something could, in a way, create a sort of mental imbalance. Furthermore, studies have shown that being in love can induce a euphoric experience similar to the high felt from illicit drugs like cocaine, leading to feelings of obsession and addiction, which can leave individuals in a vulnerable state of mind. Socrates referred to love as a form of divine madness, while Plato famously stated, “Love is a serious mental disease,” a sentiment that rings true. "Love sickness" is not merely a poetic expression for those in the throes of romance; it has been examined as a genuine condition. What are your thoughts?


Trust and Jealousy • 15d ago

Is it typical for a boyfriend to request $50,000 in a long-distance relationship?

My boyfriend (25M) and I (19F) have been in a long-distance relationship for nearly a year. Last night, he requested ₹50,000 from me, and I sent it without hesitation. Thankfully, I don’t have financial issues since I come from a wealthy family, but something feels off about this situation, and I can't quite put my finger on why. He has always been a wonderful partner—kind, caring, and supportive despite the distance. This is the first time he has ever asked for money, claiming it was for an emergency. At the time, I trusted him completely, but now I find myself overthinking everything. Did I trust him too quickly? Is this behavior typical in relationships? I genuinely care about him and don’t want to second-guess his intentions, but there’s an unsettling feeling about this. Perhaps I’m being paranoid, or maybe it’s my intuition trying to warn me. I’m feeling quite confused right now and would appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar or has advice to share. Is this a common occurrence in long-distance relationships, or am I putting myself at risk?


Toxic Relationships • 15d ago

I'm a 22-year-old female, and I'm uncertain about whether to continue my relationship with my 23-year-old girlfriend.

Here’s a rewritten version of your text: To provide some context, we connected online in 2017 while I was living in the UK and she was in Australia. For years, we communicated through messages and FaceTime, and finally, in 2023, I made the trip to Australia to meet her in person. By the time I arrived, we both realized we had feelings for each other, so we quickly became a couple. We started making plans for me to move there with a partner visa, and everything seemed magical, just as I had hoped. However, I’ve had an unsettling feeling in my gut throughout this experience. Despite being in Australia, I find it hard to enjoy my time here. We've taken road trips and visited different states, but my feelings remain unchanged—I just don't like it here. I’m also facing challenges in my relationship with my girlfriend, who has a traumatic background due to past abuse and is autistic. Living with her can be difficult at times; she tends to be messy, disorganized, and struggles with personal hygiene. I've addressed these issues with her multiple times—at least three times each month—but while she promises to improve, nothing seems to change. She often expects me to manage all our responsibilities, such as buying, servicing, and selling our car, handling bills, making bookings, dealing with technology, and building furniture. The list goes on. She works part-time in a restaurant and frequently complains about being tired. Just recently, after a three-hour shift, she broke down in tears when I asked her to take care of the dishes she’d left from two nights prior. It’s these little things that add up all the time. I'm constantly picking up after her; after she makes coffee in the morning, I'm the one who cleans up the mess of spilled coffee and sugar. I even bought us a new washing machine, but she leaves wet clothes in it, and the kitchen is never cleaned unless I do it. She rarely offers to help with anything. Our intimacy has also dwindled; despite my efforts to initiate, she often brushes me off, claiming she’s too tired or responds with a lack of enthusiasm, thinking that the bare minimum is enough. I long to feel wanted and cared for as well, and to have someone willing to put in the effort for me. I find myself feeling angry all the time, and nothing seems to bring me happiness here. I left everything behind to come to Australia, believing I was following a solid plan. Although my upbringing wasn't ideal, I'm determined to work toward a better future, but I’m starting to question whether she fits into that vision. It’s draining. I love her, which complicates my feelings and makes the idea of leaving even harder. Yet, being around her has become so exhausting that I often find myself looking forward to her going to work just so I can catch my breath. What should I do? If I decide to end the relationship, I'm uncertain about what my next steps would be.


Communication Problems • 15d ago

Do I have the right to confront her?

I'll keep this brief. Since returning from winter break, my girlfriend has become quite distant. When I ask her about it, she says she's just busy with sorority recruitment and classes. I remind her that during my own busy times—balancing athletics, six classes, and two jobs—I still made her a priority and went the extra mile. Despite us living just five minutes apart, she hasn't made any effort to see me, which really hurts. I feel it's reasonable to expect the same dedication from her. Every time I bring up her lack of effort, she responds, "We all handle stress differently, and you need to respect that." Lately, I've been focusing on myself and doing what brings me joy, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm being gaslighted. I'll give it a few more weeks to see if things change, but if not, I believe it's time for us to have a serious discussion about our future. What are your thoughts?


Infidelity • 15d ago

I had a night with my best friend, even though they are in a relationship.

I (25F) recently went on a trip with some friends, including my best friend (24M). Up until then, everything felt completely normal, and I had no romantic feelings towards him. However, during the trip, he started showering me with kindness—cooking for me, looking after me when I was drunk, bringing me flowers that matched my dress each day, serving me breakfast in bed, teaching me to drive, and caring for me when I wasn’t feeling well. It was everything I had ever wanted from a guy while being single. One night, after a few drinks, I mentioned to him that I was starting to feel attracted to him because of everything he was doing, and suggested he might want to ease off since he has a girlfriend. To my surprise, he admitted that he had liked me for a while and had intended to break up with his girlfriend because things weren’t working out. He told me he wanted to confess his feelings before the trip but was too scared, thinking I would never like someone like him. Things progressed quickly after that. We both acknowledged that what we were doing felt wrong, yet we ended up sleeping together while sober. Now, I feel awful about the situation, and I think we both do. He mentioned he had been feeling conflicted for months, and when I asked what he wanted, he seemed unsure but admitted that his heart was drawn to me. He stated he knew it was wrong but didn’t want to stop or hurt his girlfriend, although he plans to tell her eventually—it just might take some time for him to sort out his feelings. The complicating factor is that we work together, so we’ll be seeing each other every day. What should I do?


Trust and Jealousy • 15d ago

My boyfriend (26 years old) keeps expressing an attraction to girls on Instagram and TikTok.

I (25F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been in a relationship for over four years. Throughout this time, I've caught him multiple times looking at and saving photos of famous Instagram and TikTok girls—bathing suit pictures, workout images, and even OF leaks. The first time I discovered it was by accident, and it shattered my trust in him, leading me to check his phone whenever we reunited after periods of long distance. Each time I did, I found more of this content, which left me feeling hurt and desperate for him to stop. This behavior has continued even after we moved in together and became more intimate. There's one particular girl he's been fixated on since I first discovered his actions, and she doesn't resemble me at all. What would you do in my situation? Is this common behavior among guys? TL;DR: My boyfriend struggles to stop obsessing over famous girls on the internet, and I'm unsure how to handle it.


Infidelity • 15d ago

I was dishonest, betrayed, and caused pain to my partner.

I deceived, betrayed, and caused pain to my partner. I was in a long-distance relationship with a 26-year-old woman, and our separation ended poorly. During that time, I was struggling with depression while trying to balance school, work, and our relationship. I was sleep-deprived from our nightly calls, and although I wanted to support her, it became exhausting, and I found it hard to say no. Our relationship faced challenges. One night, she told me to leave, and later explained that it was her trauma speaking—she feared I would abandon her. She apologized and focused on self-improvement. I didn’t realize how my actions affected her, but it hit me hard. Feeling overwhelmed, I chose to take a break and went silent for three months, a decision I now regret as it caused her deep pain. Even after a month of silence, she reached out to check on me, but I couldn’t respond—not even on her birthday. During those three months, I met someone on Reddit. We connected, shared our locations, developed feelings, and began a relationship. She was more clingy than my ex. Eventually, I reached out to my ex to apologize and give her some closure. I still had feelings for her, and she didn’t deserve the hurt I had caused—she had done nothing wrong. She still had love for me and wanted to give our relationship another try. We decided to rebuild, but I knew I wasn’t in a good mental state. I wasn’t the person I aspired to be, yet I proceeded anyway. Weeks later, she confronted me, sensing that something was wrong. She discovered the app where I had shared my location with the other woman. I tried to maintain my lies but ultimately couldn’t. Seeing her cry shattered me, but she continued to talk to me. She asked if I loved the other woman. After a moment of hesitation, I confessed, “I love her, and I love you too.” Those words devastated her. I know I failed her. She deserves someone much better. I lied, hurt her, and betrayed her trust, and now I carry immense guilt for my actions. What should I do next? She deserves an apology, but I don’t want to reopen any wounds. I know she’s trying to heal from the trauma I caused, and I deeply regret what I did.


Communication Problems • 15d ago

I'm a 31-year-old man and I haven't spoken to my live-in partner, who is 28, for the past 11 days. I could use some assistance with this situation!

I'm 31 and have been living with my girlfriend, who is 28, for six years. Recently, she mentioned that she feels the need to talk to a therapist about something. When I asked for more details, she said there are things I don't understand and preferred not to discuss them with me. I felt hurt and decided to leave for the day. It’s been 11 days since we last spoke, and I'm uncertain about how to approach this situation. What should I do?


Communication Problems • 15d ago

I'm uncertain about how to proceed in this situation.

I’m a 21-year-old female, and my boyfriend is 24. We’ve been together for two years, and I’ve been living with him and his family for around six months now. Lately, I've been feeling upset, but I can't pinpoint exactly why. To give you a bit of context, I struggle with severe anxiety and might be autistic, while my boyfriend has ADD and dyslexia. We both also deal with depression. Despite these challenges, our relationship is healthy— we rarely argue, we were friends for years before dating, and we communicate when issues arise. I’ve struggled to express my feelings because my anxiety often makes it hard for me to articulate what I’m going through. I’m currently in therapy to improve my communication skills, but it’s still challenging. This difficulty might be contributing to the issues I'm feeling, and I'm seeking advice from others. I’ve been sensing that my boyfriend and I haven’t been spending enough quality time together lately. It feels like we haven’t had any one-on-one time at all. Whenever I try to talk to him in the common areas of the house, his family often joins in, making it hard to discuss more personal or significant topics. Additionally, my boyfriend works as an apprentice pipefitter, which means he’s out from 3 AM to 4 PM during the week, and sometimes he doesn't come home until 10 PM because of classes. He usually goes to bed around 5 or 6 PM. The weekends are our only time to be together, but he’s often busy with home projects or helping out his parents and the church. While I support his commitments, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s not making an effort to spend personal time with me. This leaves me feeling as though he might not be interested in our relationship anymore, even though he has assured me otherwise. He suggests that I ask him to step aside if I need to talk, but that’s not really what I mean. I’m looking for more meaningful interactions—like doing chores together or planning inexpensive dates—rather than just brief conversations. It also doesn’t help that during dinner, he’s usually on his phone, and when he’s working around the house, he often has his earbuds in (which seems to be the norm for his family unless it’s a special occasion). The only consistent activity we share is watching Star Trek, and while I enjoy that time, it feels like something essential is missing. I understand how he processes things and his love language, but sometimes I feel like he doesn’t grasp what I’m trying to communicate or what I need from him. Is there a better way for me to express my needs to him? Am I asking for too much attention or time? Is this just a product of my anxiety? I’m not sure if I should be asking these questions, but I wanted to reach out for some guidance. Any input would be appreciated, even if it’s just to tell me that it’s all in my head.


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 15d ago

My boyfriend doesn't appear to prioritize my pleasure.

My boyfriend (21M) and I (22F) have been dating for four months, but we were intimate for nine months prior to our relationship. I'm facing an issue: I’ve communicated clearly that I really enjoy foreplay—sometimes even more than sex itself—and I believe it's an essential part of our intimacy. However, he only engages in foreplay when I ask him to, and he often tries to skip right to intercourse without any buildup. To make matters worse, he typically lasts less than 30 seconds. I'm starting to question whether I should be reevaluating my desire to stay in this relationship just based on the sexual aspect. I'm not sure if he's experiencing low testosterone or if he genuinely doesn't care about my pleasure. I'm frustrated with feeling like I have to beg him to be attentive to my needs, and I would appreciate any advice on whether this is as significant of an issue as I'm perceiving it to be.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 15d ago

I'm a 29-year-old man and I've found myself in two half-relationships simultaneously while dealing with cancer. What should I do?

Here's a rewritten version of your text: To provide some background: Last year, I was diagnosed with cancer and underwent chemotherapy. While I eventually regained my health, the aftermath left me feeling isolated, leading me to escape through alcohol, which spiraled out of control. Emotionally, I’m still struggling and feel like a complete wreck. Just last week, I received the distressing news that my cancer has returned, and I’ll need surgery, possibly followed by more chemotherapy. Understandably, I’m feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. I met Girl A while traveling abroad for a few days. Shortly after our meeting, I had to rush home due to my cancer diagnosis. We’ve kept in touch ever since. She is genuinely wonderful—understanding, intelligent, and surprisingly fond of me. Our beliefs and ways of thinking align remarkably well, which is rare for me. I’ve been upfront with her about my lowest moments, including my battle with alcoholism. She seems to understand me better than anyone ever has, and I hold her in high regard. However, I find myself struggling to feel much emotionally. It’s strange because on paper she seems perfect, yet my feelings for her are more of appreciation for her kindness rather than any romantic attraction. She plans to visit and care for me post-surgery, and I dread the thought of hurting or betraying her. Then there’s Girl B, my ex. While she carries her own baggage, she’s the only person I’ve ever truly loved. She’s incredibly beautiful and possesses a kind, insightful nature. Although we’re quite different, I feel that after nearly a year of no contact and two years apart, I understand and love her more now than I did when we were together. I hurt our relationship by not being fully present, but I’ve grown a lot since then. Unfortunately, she didn’t support me during my chemotherapy; she canceled visits last minute, which really hurt, though I’ve since forgiven her since she had her own struggles to deal with. Those times were incredibly lonely and tough, and her absence made it worse. Recently, we’ve started talking again, engaging in honest and meaningful conversations. She even visited me during detox, which meant a lot and showed her acceptance of me at my lowest point. Now, she’s expressed that she sees a future together. So, where do I go from here? I don’t want to hurt either of these women. I also don’t want to face my cancer journey alone, no matter how selfish that may seem. I hold out hope that my feelings for Girl A might grow; she truly seems ideal, but it hasn't happened over the past year. Part of me wants to withdraw from both relationships, claiming I need to navigate my cancer journey alone, but I know that isn’t a healthy approach. I’m not in a committed relationship with either of them, so technically there’s no cheating, but it feels that way. Throughout this experience, I’ve become more open and learned to express vulnerability, which has positively impacted my relationships, but I’m still wrestling with confusion and a lot of personal struggles. Cancer really plays with your emotions. I apologize if this post seems jumbled; the upcoming surgery has my usual overthinking running rampant.


Parenting and Raising Children • 15d ago

I recently lost some family members, and my girlfriend isn't able to support me during this tough time.

My girlfriend and I have been together for six years, and we have two wonderful children—our eldest is three and the youngest is two. I'm 24, and she's 23. Recently, I've been facing a lot of loss in my family, which is quite large, so it's unfortunately not uncommon for us to experience deaths. The most recent one was my grandpa, who passed away from a heart attack, and this one hit me particularly hard. Normally, I manage to cope with loss, but my grandpa lived with me and my parents for my entire life, making it more difficult to process. In the weeks leading up to this, my girlfriend has been harboring a grudge and hasn't been supportive in my grieving process. She's been distant, refusing to talk or even look at me, and her attitude has been consistently negative. She attributes this to what she perceives as my lack of help around the house and with our kids. We've had similar discussions before, as this pattern seems to repeat itself every few months. I genuinely don't understand her perspective because I'm quite active in taking care of our home. I clean daily, and I have OCD, which compels me to keep things organized and tidy—particularly when it comes to items on the floor. I handle nearly all the household chores except for the dishes, which I can admit I don’t do often. I also contribute to caring for the kids as much as I can, including getting them ready to go out and changing diapers. While I know this is all part of my role, she often acts as if I do nothing. I recognize that we haven't gone on a date in a long time, and I've made attempts to take her out, but she seems unable to switch off her "parenting mode" and relax. We have several options for babysitting, which would make it easier for us to have some time together, but she remains irritable and snaps at minor issues throughout the day. Since the birth of our children, I've put in my best effort, but we seem to go through good periods that last a few months before she raises a complaint. Personally, I dislike arguing or venting frustrations; I prefer to focus on what needs to be done and move forward. There's a lot more to this situation, so if you have any questions or thoughts, please feel free to share. I love her and our kids dearly, and I want to avoid a split that would complicate our lives, especially since we are moving into a new apartment in a month and both work full-time. I don’t want everything we’ve worked for to go to waste.


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 15d ago

I'm a 19-year-old male, and my girlfriend, also 19, and I are facing some challenges in our relationship. We're looking for some advice.

I have a strong connection with my partner, but recently we've been facing some challenges, especially in our intimate life. We've been together for almost two years, and our sex life was generally fine until about two months ago. Lately, it feels like she no longer enjoys being intimate with me, even though she insists otherwise. I've noticed her body language suggests something different. Eventually, this led to us not being intimate at all. I've made an effort to communicate openly about our situation, expressing that intimacy is an important need for me and that it helps strengthen our bond. She bravely consulted a doctor, which I know wasn’t easy for her. The doctor provided her with tips and exercises to improve the situation, but she has hesitated to implement them. I've also tried to add excitement to our relationship—planning more dates, giving massages, and surprising her with her favorite coffee—hoping to rekindle some spark. When I asked her if she felt ready to be intimate again, she said, “I don’t think I am ready for sex anymore.” Hearing that was tough, but I respect her feelings. Unfortunately, it seems she has lost her libido altogether. I care for her deeply, and it’s been challenging to have my desires unmet. Are there any strategies or advice that could help us navigate this situation? We're both good communicators and truly believe we can work through this together. Any insights would be appreciated. Thank you!