Relationship advices

Breakups and Divorces • 10d ago

I'm uncertain about what actions to take.

I'm 16 and this is my first serious relationship, so I'm not an expert in these matters, but I want to share what I'm going through. I've been dating this girl for 10 months, and generally, things have been good. We’ve had minor arguments, but nothing significant. However, recently, I've been grappling with the thought of ending the relationship, and it’s been growing stronger over the past month. Now, it’s all I can think about, and I feel overwhelmed. I’m unsure why I’m feeling this way, and it’s hard to manage. I know it’s not healthy to keep these feelings to myself, and I should probably talk to her about it, but I'm hesitant because I fear it might create bigger problems and could lead to a breakup. At the same time, I feel guilty for not being honest with her, especially since she’s left wondering why I’ve been distant. I'm at a loss for what to do. We spoke today, and she mentioned that I'm acting differently. I told her I love her and apologized for my behavior. Yet, it's not fair to either of us to stay in a relationship if my heart’s not really in it. I feel sick with guilt, haven't eaten much in the past few days, and I'm struggling to find a way forward. I really need some guidance. I would appreciate any honest advice on how to handle this situation. I don't want to be judged or labeled as a terrible person, even though it feels that way right now. I’m just looking for some direction. Thank you for taking the time to read this.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 10d ago

How can I tell if I love my 19-year-old girlfriend if I’ve never really understood what love is?

My girlfriend and I are both 19 years old and have been together for just over a year since we met in college. When we first started dating, I had a nice group of friends and life felt pretty normal. But once I met her, everything changed. The way we connected, the way we gazed into each other's eyes, and how we would linger on campus long after classes had ended just to be together were all special moments. We spent countless hours together, and for the most part, it was wonderful. I won’t pretend that I was perfect; I realize now that during arguments, I often prioritized my own feelings over hers. I noticed some changes in her demeanor and understood that I needed to adjust how I reacted to things. Over the last two or three weeks, she has been incredibly busy with work, and we haven’t had much time to talk. My mind started racing with thoughts, making me worry that she might be growing tired of me. This led to constant stomach pain and anxiety for a while. However, everything changed when she came over one day and reassured me while I cried in her arms. Now that I feel secure in her love, I find myself questioning my own feelings for her. I don’t understand why this is happening. I was devastated and anxious, thinking she might not love me, and that worry kept me from eating for days. But now, with that fear alleviated, I'm left wondering if I truly love her. It feels confusing, and I’m not sure if what I feel qualifies as love. She makes me happy—when I'm with her, I feel at home and relaxed. I adore her sparkling eyes and the way her touch feels. I’ve opened up to her completely, and it doesn’t bother me at all; I appreciate her vulnerability as well. She puts in so much effort for our relationship, and I genuinely can’t imagine my life without her. I've even turned to my faith, wanting to fight for our love and explore new possibilities together. But now I’m starting to fear that this might not be meant to be. I definitely don’t want to lead her on; I want her happiness above all. I’m happy with her, but I also can’t stop thinking about our future together, which I envision positively. Honestly, I think it might just be my overthinking—this is my first real relationship. She has met my family, who adore her, and I’ve met hers, who love me in return. I really need advice on what to do. Please help!


Infidelity • 10d ago

A young mother striving to provide the best for her three young children is married to a habitual liar who struggles to escape a tumultuous past.

My husband (27M) and I (24F) have been married for 3.5 years and have three children under the age of three. Throughout our relationship, he has repeatedly lied about various things. Recently, I had a nagging feeling that something wasn't right. Despite our many conversations—often ending in gaslighting—he never confessed the truth. So, I mustered the courage to check his phone, and I discovered he had been in contact with an ex throughout our entire relationship (texting and snapping) and is still clearly not over him. I also learned that he is bisexual and was previously married to this man for three years. To make matters worse, he downloaded Tinder when I was 36 weeks pregnant with our third child and has been messaging a girl from the app. As far as I know, he hasn’t been physically unfaithful, but it feels like he won’t be honest with me unless I present him with concrete evidence. He claims he’s sorry, plans to seek therapy, and insists he wants to fix things, but my trust in him has been shattered. I'm terrified at the thought of becoming a young single mother of three. I'm looking for any thoughts or advice on how to move forward for the sake of my children and myself.


Infidelity • 10d ago

I'm looking for some advice but can't discuss it with anyone in person.

I'm 30, and he's 38, and we have a young child together. Years ago, I had my first hint that he might be unfaithful when I received an anonymous Facebook message that included explicit photos of him and the words "he's a cheat." I never figured out the truth behind it, but he insists he was just looking at photos on a swingers website and ended up getting blackmailed or something along those lines. There have been other suspicious incidents, but I'll skip the tedious details. He claims to have a "corn addiction" and enjoys looking at pictures of other women, but insists he has never physically cheated. For many years, he worked away while I raised our son. He returned home a year ago, and we've been functioning as a happy family since then. However, I recently stumbled upon his list of blocked contacts, which included numerous numbers. I thought it was unusual, so I added them to my phone and checked them on WhatsApp. Many of the contacts were escorts, along with some other random women. He has admitted to cheating in the past and mentioned that one reason for his return was to address this issue. Seeing him now makes me feel physically ill. He has no family nearby, and we don’t have any savings to help him find a place to stay. I can manage the house on my own since I earn a decent salary and have plenty of family support, but I worry about what to do with him. How can I leave the father of my child without a home? He’s a wonderful dad, and our little boy adores him. He is generally kind and caring toward me, but I just can't trust him. Additionally, he posted in a local Reddit hookup group when I was just six weeks post-miscarriage. As you can see, we're currently "stuck" together, and it's debilitating for me not to have anyone to talk to for advice or support. I regretted reaching out the first time and it took my mother years to recover from that betrayal. Thank you for allowing me to express my feelings; any advice would be truly appreciated.


Work-Life Balance • 10d ago

Feeling Exhausted – Juggling Work, Home, and Lack of Routine M33 F33 Any Advice?

A few years ago, my career was in a downward spiral—I was dealing with depression, a terrible boss, and numerous challenges. Thankfully, I managed to turn my situation around with a new job. Although I’m doing well now, the constant demands make it both mentally and physically exhausting. At home, my partner works night shifts. On some nights, she claims her job is easy, even allowing herself to take naps when it’s not too busy. She truly is an amazing woman, handling cooking, cleaning, and maintaining the household. I recognize that I should be contributing more, and I genuinely try to help. However, it often feels like nothing I do is good enough. I’ve attempted to do the laundry, only to be told I might ruin it. When I offer to clean, I find out there’s only one "right" way to do it, which apparently isn’t how I do things. I thrive on structure and organization, especially with the kids around, but her system seems to change constantly. One week, there’s one designated drawer for items, and the next week, it’s different. This inconsistency drives me crazy as I try to maintain order, yet she insists on doing things her way. I’ve taken on the majority of our household expenses and want to help take care of our home. But simple surfaces like the kitchen counter and the bottoms of drawers are frequently grimy or damaged. While I don’t expect everything to be perfect, I believe that if something spills, it should be cleaned up right away—something I even teach the kids! When I attempt to discuss these concerns, she often reacts with anger, sarcasm, or tears, even when I’m being logical. It feels impossible to have a calm conversation about something as straightforward as household structure. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and shut down as a result. We've even joked about the possibility of me becoming a lonely old man, and lately, that idea feels increasingly appealing compared to the ongoing stress. Her ever-changing shift patterns and unwillingness to compromise on household organization leave me feeling isolated and drained. What I’m seeking is balance—a way to transform our home into a haven rather than another source of conflict. Has anyone else faced a similar situation? How did you manage to create structure and peace in your home life? I’m at a loss for what to do next. Thank you for your thoughts and advice!


Cultural and Religious Differences • 10d ago

Should I marry for love or prioritize financial stability through an arranged marriage?

I'm in love with a guy, and we've been in a relationship for about 7-8 months. Recently, my parents started pressuring me for marriage through arranged means, so I felt it was necessary to inform them about my relationship. They're opposed to it because my boyfriend currently doesn't have a stable job, and neither he nor his family possesses significant assets. There are also concerns about our different castes, how I would fit in, and what society might think. Initially, I was alright with his financial situation. We discussed it, and he’s actively working towards finding a better job. But now, I find myself thinking more practically. What if he doesn't secure a better position? What if he struggles to support his family? That thought has been weighing on me. Now I’m torn between staying with the man I love or opting for an arranged marriage with someone who has a solid financial background. What should I do?


Friendship and Relationships • 10d ago

What surprise should I plan for my boyfriend's birthday during our trip?

I'm a 28-year-old woman, and I’m heading to Brazil with my boyfriend, who’s 30, and his friends (mostly guys, plus two ladies) for the Rio de Janeiro Carnaval 2025 to celebrate his 30th birthday. This trip is fully planned, and he knows all about it. I'm hoping to surprise him with a sweet gesture while we're there, like an excursion or some thoughtful birthday surprises, but I’m having trouble coming up with something special! I already have a gift for him, but I really want to add a cute touch! His actual birthday isn’t during our trip, and we’ll be staying in an Airbnb with his friends. Any ideas? 😊


Trust and Jealousy • 10d ago

Lost my boyfriend's trust (I need assistance)

I'm a 22-year-old female and my boyfriend is 23. We've been together for over seven months. Early in our relationship, I struggled with sneaking glances at other guys while I was with him. He later mentioned that this might suggest I was looking for something better or that I had a tendency to cheat. He even said it looked like I was giving “come-hither” looks. When he confronted me about it, I initially didn’t understand what he meant and ended up lying for about 20 minutes before I felt comfortable enough to confess the truth. I was scared and uncomfortable with my actions, especially since we were still in the early stages of our relationship. I have a complicated past and have lied about some minor details—I've had 24 partners, which I've always felt ashamed of. There were also a few instances where random men would text me wanting to hang out, but I had nothing to do with that. Honestly, I’d consider changing my phone number if I could. By this time in our relationship, I had already told him I loved him and moved in with him after just two months. One day after work, he asked if I'd slept with anyone else recently. He claimed it felt like I had, describing my physical state as wet and spacious. At first, I was confused because I had been at work all day, and I work at a preschool, so that was impossible. I ended up lying again, saying how great our sex was and that he was the best I'd ever had. The truth was that my birth control was affecting my sex drive, and I wasn't feeling turned on at all. I kept this from him for months, not wanting to escalate the issue since my libido was so low. He then began consistently accusing me of cheating. After I got fired from my job, I was with him constantly, but he still made accusations, even suggesting I might have brought someone into his home while he was asleep. It sounds absurd, but he attributes these thoughts to my early behavior and the lies I told. Do you think that lying is often a sign of cheating, or do people sometimes lie to make others feel better? I’ve always believed in the idea of lying to protect feelings, but maybe it’s time for me to be more genuine and upfront.


Communication Problems • 10d ago

My boyfriend raised his voice at me, and I’m unsure how to process it. I could use some advice.

Today wasn't the best day for my boyfriend. Something triggered his anxiety about a physical issue he often worries about. Due to past trauma, he tends to be avoidant and self-conscious about his appearance. Earlier, someone made a comment that unsettled him, and while he shared it with me, he quickly shut down the conversation when I tried to reassure him, indicating that he didn’t want to discuss it further. I gathered that he was feeling unwell because of it. As the evening went on, we spent time together, though he was somewhat withdrawn and didn’t feel like talking or engaging in much. Towards the end of the night, I approached him to check in as I noticed he seemed to be pulling away. When I asked what was on his mind, he replied that he didn’t know, and when I speculated it might be about his hair, he said, “think so.” That response left me confused; it felt uncertain, and I often struggle with nuances of communication, like sarcasm. Wanting clarification, I asked, “What do you mean? Is there something else?” He replied with “yeah,” but my anxiety grew, leading me to feel a mental fog settle in, sensing that there was more beneath the surface. Earlier in the night, we'd exchanged kisses and hugs, even though he seemed reserved. However, towards the end, when I suggested cuddling, he responded with “I don’t know,” which triggered my anxiety—I’m naturally a nervous person. I tried to express my confusion over his earlier response since “think so” implied uncertainty. This led to him getting upset, telling me he was “pissed off” and that he had been trying to be patient with me. When I tried to explain my feelings, he raised his voice in exasperation, prompting me to apologize for my confusion, even though I wanted him to know that I wasn’t trying to make it about myself. He said, “I think so,” in agreement with my question, and added that it wasn’t his fault I didn’t understand the meaning behind his words. He felt like I was making the situation about me, and he was unhappy that I had provoked him to yell. Despite his frustration, he offered some comfort, saying, “Apology accepted, but I’m done for tonight,” and that he would see me the next day. Now, I’m left feeling confused. I know that dealing with an anxious person while managing your own mood can be challenging, and I empathize with his feelings of frustration. He seems aware of how his yelling affects the situation, but he tends to be very matter-of-fact and blunt. When upset, he tends to withdraw to avoid further conflict, while I prefer to sort things out since I’m emotionally sensitive and understanding. I’m seeking advice on how to navigate this situation. Please be gentle. TL;DR: My boyfriend got upset when I became anxious because he shut down emotionally, yelled at me, and now I'm feeling confused.


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 10d ago

I'm uncertain about wanting to be in a relationship right now.

I’m an 18-year-old woman in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 19, for nearly three months now. For anonymity, I’ll refer to him as "Mark." We connected through a dating app, and I believe our relationship is generally happy and healthy. However, I'm starting to question whether I want to be in a relationship at all. Mark is very sensitive, which can be challenging for me since I'm battling my own emotions and he often seeks reassurance that I’m not sure I can provide. On top of that, my sexual needs are quite significant, and I've noticed that Mark's feelings about intimacy have shifted since we began dating. I'm still young and eager to explore experiences like threesomes; in fact, I've never even kissed a woman, but I'm keen to try at least once. When we first started dating, I made my intentions clear, and he expressed interest in exploring those options. Lately, however, he’s decided against it, claiming that his feelings for me make sharing difficult. Mark is also relatively inexperienced when it comes to sex. Although he sees himself as dominant and I take on a submissive role, he often seems insecure and hesitant to explore new things. I’m realizing there are many sexual experiences that I doubt he’ll ever want or be able to provide. Putting all of this into words makes me feel guilty, as I do care for him, and I know he cares for me too. Yet I’m uncertain about how to navigate this situation and would greatly appreciate any insights or advice. I’m open to answering any questions for further clarity.


Communication Problems • 10d ago

I'm a 23-year-old female and I'm contemplating what steps I should take regarding my boyfriend, who is 29.

Why do the men I date always turn conflicts into a showdown of "I'm right, you're wrong"? I've noticed a recurring theme in my relationships, and I'm starting to question whether I'm attracting a specific type of person or if the issue lies with me. Initially, everything seems wonderful—he treats me well, makes me feel secure, and we begin dating. But when something bothers me and I voice my concerns, he becomes defensive. Instead of engaging in a meaningful conversation, it escalates into a fight with him insisting he's right. Over time, this pattern intensifies—he withdraws, sometimes blocks me, and then returns a month later, acknowledging his mistakes and wanting to restart. I experienced this same cycle with my ex three years ago (whom I chose not to take back), and now I'm facing a similar situation again. For instance, recently I noticed that this guy followed several adult film stars on social media, and when I asked him to unfollow them, he argued that he had done it before we met, turning it into a conflict. It took several requests before he finally complied, even though most of those accounts had been inactive since 2021. It still bothered me, though. Currently, I'm blocked by him, and while I know he has feelings for me, I can't shake the feeling that he takes me for granted because I've returned after our disagreements. We’ve never gone a full month without communication, which has me pondering whether I should distance myself to make him recognize his behavior—similar to what happened with my previous ex. I genuinely want things to work out with this guy, but I also don’t want to keep going in circles. I've been told by various people that I can be intimidating, and I wonder if that factors into this situation. I’d appreciate any insights or advice—am I attracting the wrong individuals, or should I change how I approach things? Notably, both my exes displayed avoidant traits and had a tendency to shift blame, especially when dealing with confrontation. Nevertheless, this current guy does treat me significantly better.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 10d ago

Assistance required

How can I communicate to the guy I'm currently talking to that I'm not interested in being intimate because I don't find him physically attractive? I don't want to come off as harsh or negative; he's a great person, but I'm just not physically drawn to him.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 10d ago

I (18F) asked him (18M) out 😰

I posted yesterday asking for advice on whether I should ask my crush out, and I got some encouragement to go for it. So, I took the plunge 😰 I asked him if he was going to our high school play, and he said he was planning to go alone. I mentioned that all my friends are going with their dates, and I really didn't want to be a third wheel, so I asked if I could join him. He looked at me awkwardly and said, "Hmm... interesting." There was a pretty thick awkward silence before he finally said we could go together. I said thanks and then walked away feeling a bit deflated 😭 After that, we didn’t talk for the rest of class, which is unusual for us. Now I'm left wondering if I made a mistake and if he really doesn't like me or if he was just caught off guard. I hope my approach gave him a chance to back out if he wanted, but I'm not sure 😭 Should I reach out to him or just leave things as they are? ————- TL;DR: Did asking him to the play mess up our friendship?


Toxic Relationships • 11d ago

Is my relationship coming to an end?

I’m an 18-year-old girl and my boyfriend, also 18, and I have been together for a year. At the beginning of our relationship, he was really sweet and always eager to chat with me. However, lately he seems to have become distant—he doesn't talk to me as much, often ignores my calls, and even has his location off for hours at a time. I trust that he isn't cheating, but I'm starting to feel like he’s lost interest in our relationship. We’ve been arguing about trivial things, and he often puts the blame on me. The arguments usually stem from me expressing how his actions are impacting me, but somehow he flips it and accuses me of manipulating or guilt-tripping him. He even compared me to his ex, who wasn't the best person. I’m at a loss about what to do. I don't want to leave him, but I also don’t want to keep feeling hurt. It seems like he’s only really sweet and caring when we're together physically. Should I keep trying to make this work? I could really use some advice.


Infidelity • 11d ago

He [M21] betrayed my trust and continues to demonstrate that he has no qualms about lying to me [F19].

I apologize for the lengthy message—this is my first time posting here, and I wanted to provide all the necessary context. At the beginning of January, my boyfriend cheated on me. While he didn’t sleep with anyone, he did send his ex texts saying, “let’s hook up,” among other things. I discovered this the same night it happened; I could tell something was off when he got home. I checked his phone while he was sleeping, which I had never done before, but I felt compelled to that night. After finding out, I left, but I returned the next morning to talk things over. Despite everything, I still want to make our relationship work because I love him and am six months pregnant with his child. I laid down some ground rules: he had to log into his Instagram accounts on my phone, I needed access to his location at all times, and most importantly, he shouldn’t be drinking since he claimed alcohol was his excuse for what he did. Although he hasn’t completely stopped drinking, he has asked if it’s okay to drink when I’m around. I agreed, but only if I have his phone. My main focus has been finding a way to trust him again, but he’s lied to me more than once since then. Today, I had to visit some family in another city while he went out with coworkers. I simply asked him not to drink. When I asked him afterward, he said he hadn’t, but I felt the need to check after I got home. After he fell asleep, I looked in his wallet and found a receipt proving he had lied. I’m so drained and unsure of what to do. How am I supposed to rebuild trust when he keeps lying to me? He’s asleep next to me now, and I plan to wait until he gets back from work tomorrow to address this, but I’m unsure how to approach the conversation. I don’t want to leave, but he gives me a plethora of reasons to consider it. I could really use some advice.


Trust and Jealousy • 11d ago

Navigating a relationship with an avoidant partner as someone with an anxious attachment style.

Hello everyone, I find myself in a challenging situation and could use some guidance. Recent experiences have led me to realize that seeking therapy might be beneficial for addressing my anxious attachment style. I’m a 27-year-old man in a situationship with a 34-year-old woman. We started as friends before deciding to become exclusive, which means we are aware of each other's backgrounds and challenges. I genuinely care for her and put effort into showing my love for our relationship. However, I've recognized that I sometimes self-sabotage, which is part of why I'm now seeking therapy. Our main struggle revolves around communication, especially during uncomfortable discussions where we need to meet halfway. I tend to exhibit an anxious attachment style, while she leans toward avoidant patterns. In conversations, I often start by acknowledging my mistakes before addressing what she's done that contributed to my feelings. Unfortunately, this often leads to defensiveness or stonewalling from her, as it seems to be her way of coping with difficult topics. My aim has always been to navigate our past traumas together. While I once shared her avoidant tendencies, I now strive to be open to discussing uncomfortable matters with her. When I point out her actions, it's not meant as an attack but rather as a plea for accountability. I also acknowledge my faults when she brings them up, taking note to improve upon them. Unlike in my previous relationships, things have become complicated in this one over the past few months. I’ve begun to realize that my anxious attachment might be causing me to feel insecure. When we made the decision to be exclusive, she expressed a desire for me not to engage with other women. I respected that wish, but as time passed, I noticed she maintained contact with her exes, which caused discomfort for me. I’ve voiced my feelings around her flirting with other guys online and communicating with her exes, who she maintains are just friends—despite their romantic interest in her. I understand that I can’t control her choices, but it feels unjust that I invest in our relationship while she seems to do otherwise. Whenever I bring this up, she tends to become defensive, insisting I have no reason to distrust her and that her actions are none of my business. While I see her perspective, I struggle to comprehend why we committed to exclusivity if she intends to act in ways that contradict that agreement. An additional issue arose when she began working with a guy who previously expressed romantic interest in her. I had asked her to inform me when he was present at the gym where she works, especially since we both acknowledged the discomfort this could cause. Two weeks ago, he got hired, and I made the mistake of looking through her phone, where I found messages that seem to undermine our exclusivity. I acknowledge that my actions were wrong, but when she tells me to “not worry about it” or “forget about it,” I can’t help but feel insecure, believing she’s not being fully open with me. I confessed to looking through her phone, which understandably hurt her and led to defensiveness. Since then, I’ve felt uncertain. I’ve respected her requests not to talk to others to prevent causing her hurt, yet she doesn’t recognize that her actions are causing me pain too. I’ve yet to hear her apologize, and I want her to understand my perspective. When we attempt to discuss these matters, she often withdraws and stonewalls me. Recently, I reached out to one of her exes, as he was on her restricted list on Instagram, just to gauge where things stood between them. He indicated that he still had feelings for her and that she misses him. When I shared this with her, she reacted strongly and defensively. I tried to explain my reasoning, stemming from our previous conversations often ending without clarity. Since that discussion, she has seemed more distant, and currently, we’re on a break. Throughout the week, we communicated, and yesterday we attempted to have a serious discussion about our next steps. I’m committed to improving our communication, but during our conversation, she went quiet for two hours while closing at work. Typically, I check in to ensure she’s safe at home, but she didn’t respond until I called again, at which point I felt something was off. I later discovered she had a male friend over, which made me feel uneasy. I expressed that she should have been honest about her company. While I keep her informed about who I’m with, she insists it’s none of my business who she sees, which I agree with but still find odd given our situation. After leaving her apartment, we stayed on the phone for about an hour, during which she expressed frustration, stating that my behavior over the recent months has caused her to distance herself from me. All I want is for us to meet in the middle and communicate openly, like I try to do. At this point, I’m unsure about our next steps. Despite everything, I still have deep feelings for her, but she struggles to recognize where she’s made mistakes and hasn’t shown a willingness to seek professional help or understand the impact of her actions. It’s tough because I think I would feel differently if we weren’t exclusive and she was comfortable talking to other men, but having invested so much time and energy into this relationship, the way I feel is deeply affecting me. I’m frustrated because I want to address these issues without her becoming defensive and lashing out. I apologize for the lengthy message, but I really am at a loss. However, I look forward to starting therapy soon.


Breakups and Divorces • 11d ago

Should I (M21) rethink my feelings about her (F21)?

To summarize, both of us entered a relationship during our school years, and it was a really positive experience. We never had any major disagreements or awkward fights. However, due to personal issues within my family, I developed a misunderstanding about our relationship and ended things after graduation. I take full responsibility for that decision. After we went to different universities, we maintained our friendship. A few days later, she expressed a desire to continue the relationship, but I turned her down, which hurt her deeply. Not long after, I regretted my decision and wanted to reconcile, but by then, she had lost hope in me. A few days later, I saw her Instagram story featuring her new boyfriend, and after that, we stopped communicating. Fast forward two years, I've mostly moved on, though I do feel guilty about not being true to our relationship. Since then, I haven't pursued any relationships because I didn't want to waste anyone's time. Yesterday, I received a message from her, and I found myself wondering "why now?" We talked, and she shared that she recently ended her relationship because she can't get over me. She mentioned how her college friends know about us and how fondly she remembers how I treated her during our time together. She admitted that getting into a new relationship was a mistake made out of anger toward me and loneliness, and she now sees that it was an impulsive decision. I'm open to dating again and enjoying our conversations, but I want to avoid making any rash choices. Should I give her another chance? Please share your thoughts on why or why not.


Infidelity • 11d ago

My boyfriend (23) was featured in a viral Facebook group dedicated to cheaters.

There’s been a Facebook group in my city called “Cheaters/Do You Know Him” that’s been making waves lately. Many women are posting about their partners, either to check if they’re unfaithful or to expose someone else’s cheating boyfriend. It’s all quite chaotic, as you can imagine. Recently, my boyfriend got posted on this page. The captions typically ask things like, “Is this your man or ours?” and “What’s the scoop on this guy?” The post only included his initials along with his profile picture. The problem is his Facebook name isn’t his real name; it’s some silly alias. To figure out his identity, someone would need to know his first and last initials. Even at work, his name tag only shows his first name—no initials. When I confronted him about the post, he claimed he had no idea who posted it or why. Unfortunately, the person who posted remains anonymous and hasn’t responded to my inquiries. I’m left wondering if this could be someone from his past checking in, a girl he’s cheating with trying to send me a message, or even someone he’s been talking to behind my back who doesn’t know about me. I doubt it’s just a random girl curious because she thinks he’s attractive. We’ve been together for over a year and live together, which only complicates things more. I’m struggling to decide whether to trust him or not. This situation is all very fresh, and I can’t shake the insecurity that he might be cheating. I would really appreciate any advice—I feel completely lost and unsure of what to do.


Low Self-Esteem and Personal Growth • 11d ago

My boyfriend (32) told me that he no longer finds me attractive.

For privacy reasons, I created a new Reddit account to ask this question. To keep it brief: I'm 27, and my boyfriend is 32. We've been together for seven years and have two kids. I was in good shape before pregnancy, but I've gained 25 kg and I'm struggling to lose the weight. My boyfriend has repeatedly expressed his dissatisfaction with my appearance, saying I'm not attractive. He claims to love me and stay with me, and that I should be grateful for that. I don’t feel grateful; instead, it makes me feel insecure, and I can't understand how he sees me that way. We've been arguing about this for a long time, and I’m unsure how to move forward. During our fights, he hints at breaking up but then reassures me that he doesn't really want that. I'm trying to lose weight, but I struggle with emotional eating, and his unhappiness makes it even more challenging. Being thin has always seemed to be important to him, which feels like a betrayal since I gained this weight while carrying our children. I know I made poor food choices, but my emotions were all over the place during pregnancy. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is he right? Am I overreacting? Is he being insensitive? I'm feeling really lost right now. I'm 156 cm tall and currently weigh 83 kg.


Trust and Jealousy • 11d ago

I caught my boyfriend in a blatant lie.

A few months after moving in together, I discovered my boyfriend (30) on Instagram. I tried to add him and noticed that he mainly followed attractive girls. It was a bit heartbreaking, as it would be for any woman. He claimed he followed them to find outfit inspiration for me, even though none of them resembled me. He later assured me he deleted his account and app, saying I should be pleased that he had no posts. Then, a few months ago, I found him on TikTok. While he wasn't following any attractive women there, he was following an ex-girlfriend, despite telling me he had unfollowed her everywhere. When I tried to add him again, he said he had deleted his account. This morning, we learned that TikTok had been banned in the U.S. He casually said, “Let me check my account to see if it’s true. Oh, I can’t get in.” My heart sank. All this time, I had trusted him, only to realize he might have just blocked me. I don’t understand why he would lie about something like this. Am I wrong for feeling upset and hurt? How can I confront him about the lie? Should I let it go or consider ending the relationship? I really don’t know what to do and don’t have anyone to talk to. Please help.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 11d ago

Is he still interested or not? What would you all do? ❤️

Hey, everyone! I hope you’re all doing well ❤️ I’m really sorry for this long message, so I’ll try to keep it brief. I started seeing someone in the summer of 2023, and we hit it off, messaging each other occasionally throughout 2024, before meeting again that summer. As we spent more time together, it felt like we were building a real connection, and they expressed feeling the same way. However, by winter 2024, I noticed our conversations had dwindled. When I asked if they were still interested, they confirmed they were. But after a few days of silence where I was left on read, I reached out. They had their reasons for the lack of communication, and I understood; I told them it was okay if they no longer wanted to continue. But the gap in our conversations persisted, which led me to overthink and feel anxious. In the heat of the moment, I ended things, which I now realize was a huge mistake. I apologized and gave them space, unaware they were on holiday at the time. Now, we’ve discussed the situation, and they mentioned that I was overthinking, which hurt them. Although I respect their need for space, I can’t shake the feeling that they might not be interested anymore. I’ve shared my thoughts and feelings with them, but I haven’t received a clear answer. I’m trying to give them space while also considering whether to hold onto hope (my anxiety is slowly easing) or accept that they might have lost interest (I still really like them). Am I overthinking this? Do you think they’ve lost interest? What would you do in my shoes? Thank you all! ❤️


Communication Problems • 11d ago

I'm a 20-year-old female and I feel that my boyfriend, who is 21, has been acting lazy when it comes to us meeting up.

I saw my boyfriend today after not going on a proper date for about five months. I know it's not entirely his fault, but our schedules often clash. We do see each other regularly, though. He has a day off tomorrow, and while he mentioned being tired and wanting to sleep in, I had already envisioned us spending time together since he had previously mentioned the chance of meeting up. Now, he’s decided to go on a trek with his friends instead and will wake up early for that. It’s frustrating because he seems eager to do that but not to spend time with me. He insists I’m overreacting and points out that we just hung out today, but I can't shake the feeling that I’m justified in feeling disappointed. He has made sacrifices to see me before, so it stings a bit. I’m not against him going on the trek — it’s just that I wish he would show the same enthusiasm for our time together. What should I do? TL;DR


Trust and Jealousy • 11d ago

I undermined my partner's trust.

**Seeking Guidance: I Broke My Girlfriend's Trust** I violated my girlfriend’s trust by looking through her photos on the Amazon Prime stick. **TL;DR:** I (34F) invaded my girlfriend’s (42F) privacy by going through her photos, and I feel terrible about it. Is it possible to rebuild her trust? **Backstory:** We’ve been close friends for several years and started dating about 8 months ago. I struggle with bipolar disorder type 2 and severe anxiety. A couple of weeks ago, I had an episode that led to some passive-aggressive comments, resulting in a fight and a subsequent three-day panic attack because she wasn’t speaking to me. Her Amazon Prime stick is connected to my TV, and in a moment of vulnerability, I looked through her photos. I missed her and wanted to feel connected, but I know that's not an excuse for invading her privacy, and I deeply regret my actions. Last night, while we were watching TV, she noticed the app in the recently used section and confronted me about it. Initially, I panicked and tried to deny it, claiming I had no idea how it got there. She became upset, fearing that her kids or mom—who also have access to her Amazon account—might have seen the photos. Unable to maintain the lie, I confessed. The look on her face was heart-wrenching; it was clear I had completely shattered her trust. I didn’t realize how much her privacy meant to her, and I know I’ve made a huge mistake. She thanked me for my honesty but chose to stay in another room at my place that night. This morning, she texted me asking for space and requested that I not try to shift the focus onto my feelings or pressure her to talk. She also canceled our weekend plans that we’d been looking forward to for months. I’m doing my best to avoid self-pity and to honor her need for distance. I just hope someone can reassure me that there’s a possibility for us to move past this and that I can earn back her trust.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 11d ago

I would really appreciate your guidance, as I could use some advice at this stage in my life.

I'm feeling a bit lost regarding a relationship situation, and I could really use some advice. Here’s the story: back in December 2022, at a classmate's birthday party, my best friend and I met his older sister, who is two years my senior. I remember thinking she was stunning and possibly the most amazing girl I’ve ever encountered. I developed a bit of a crush on her, though it didn't feel intense enough to be love at the time. We played tag and had a great time, and afterward, my best friend shared her Discord with me, which led to a group chat that eventually became direct messages. Fast forward to the following year, I'm now at her school with my friend group. The school divides grades for lunch, so we only see each other for about an hour each day, but that little time still makes me happy. Over months, my crush deepened, and I fell in love with her. My social media feed became filled with thoughts of her, and I almost mustered the courage to confess my feelings daily. However, I felt self-conscious—at 5'1" and with an awkward hairstyle, I knew she looked far more put together. Finally, I decided to tell her how I felt. While in my gaming setup, I had a little chat with her on Discord, then revealed my feelings. She kindly said she didn't feel the same way but wanted to remain friends. I was so embarrassed that I suggested we shouldn’t talk anymore. Ironically, we had to sit next to each other in class, making things exceedingly awkward. I avoided eye contact and didn't speak to her for the rest of the year. Now, two years later, we’ve started talking again, but not in the way you might expect. She transferred to another school, and most of our conversations now turn into long-winded arguments on Discord, often about her little brother’s disdain for me. Interestingly, my best friend—her brother—has also distanced himself from me for reasons I still don’t fully understand. As my last year at my school approached and I prepared to join her at her new school, our friendship improved, and we began chatting a lot on Instagram. During winter break, out of the blue, she confessed that she liked me. I was overjoyed, especially because I had just found faith in Christ, which felt like a beautiful gift. This was one of the happiest moments of my life since I was still deeply in love with her. However, after we returned to school, our communication waned, and I found myself waiting for her to message me first. Unfortunately, that rarely happened. A month after winter break, I made a regrettable joke about her little brother, which led her to block me. She has a history of blocking me over trivial things, often alternating between blocking and unblocking over the span of weeks or months. Despite our Instagram fallout, she didn’t block me on Discord. For two days, I messaged her every 30 minutes, but she mostly ignored me until she eventually replied that her notifications were off. While I found that amusing—calling her on Discord rang through—I felt she was being particularly unresponsive. She did unblock me on Instagram, but when I tried sending her a bunch of reels, she just left me on read, which left me feeling really down. When she blocked me again shortly after I sent her a reel on my way home, I started to suspect her little brother might be influencing her decisions. Now, she hasn't unblocked me or responded to my messages on Discord, and I’m unsure what to do next. I’d appreciate any advice from you all. Thank you, and God bless you! Edit: Just to clarify, we won’t be able to date until I join her school, and her family is not fond of me due to her little brother’s negative comments.


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 11d ago

Is it crazy for me (30F) to feel like I might not want to be intimate with my husband (30M) anymore?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married for five years, and we recently welcomed our first baby a few weeks ago. It’s been quite challenging, to say the least. While I wouldn’t label it as Postpartum Depression, I've definitely had some really tough days. I’m not sure if my husband has picked up on it since he hasn't mentioned anything. My pregnancy was mostly straightforward, aside from experiencing morning sickness during the first four months. However, I struggled to come to terms with the weight gain. Although the number on the scale didn’t change drastically, my belly expanded rapidly, and it was the first time I faced such a significant change in my body, which started to take a mental toll on me. Again, I don't think my husband noticed since he didn’t say anything. The first few months post-birth were particularly rough because I was so nauseous that I could barely keep down simple foods and drinks. Intimacy with my husband felt out of reach. Once I entered my second trimester, I was eager to connect, thinking my husband was just giving me space because of my sickness. But when I brought up the topic of sex, he would dismiss it. I even tried to be direct about it and sometimes subtly hinted by wearing lingerie, which was a big deal for me since I felt large and uncomfortable in my body. But still, nothing. I kept trying, almost like a lovesick teenager, but by the third trimester, I had given up. Feeling enormous made me think he just wasn’t attracted to me, and he never contradicted that belief, which hurt. I ended up giving birth to our baby a couple of weeks early, and everything went smoothly. The doctors advised taking it easy for at least six weeks, which includes avoiding sex. Recently, I had my six-week check-up, and the doctor confirmed that I was good to go for all activities. I didn’t tell my husband about it. I had jokingly mentioned that if he didn’t touch me during my pregnancy, I wouldn’t let him touch me afterward, hoping it would motivate him, but it didn’t work. Now, my postpartum hormones are out of whack. I feel extremely petty, anxious, a bit depressed, sleep-deprived, and easily irritated. Almost anything he does— or doesn’t do— drives me crazy, and I find myself snapping at him or outright ignoring him. A part of me wants to cling to this pettiness (probably the hormones speaking), while another part longs to leap into his arms. I’m feeling torn between my emotions and my thoughts. I know that any decision I make right now is likely driven by hormonal chaos, but I wish he would recognize that this isn’t normal and that I deeply miss his touch. I'm just feeling lost.