Relationship advices: Parenting and Raising Children

Should I allow my boyfriend to move in with me?

I'm a 26-year-old woman who met my boyfriend, a 36-year-old man, during the early phases of my separation from my husband (divorce proceedings are still ongoing). We've been together for nearly a year now. Recently, I moved 2.5 hours away for work-related reasons, and my boyfriend is planning to relocate next week as well. Initially, we intended to move in together, but I’m starting to have serious doubts about it. I have two daughters: a 7-year-old and a 2-year-old. My younger daughter is from my soon-to-be ex-husband, while my older daughter is from a previous relationship I had after high school. Because of my divorce, my 7-year-old has lost the father she's known all her life; he won't see her unless I "come home." I can see that she’s hurting, especially since she often tells me she misses her dad, and I’m at a loss for words when she does. Both girls adore my boyfriend and get excited when they see him. I've introduced him to them as just a friend, but I think my 7-year-old senses that it's more than that. When I asked her how she’d feel about him moving in with us, she responded positively. Later, she expressed that she wishes he could be her dad, which surprised me because it shows how much she cares for him. However, I have some concerns. I don’t want someone else to step in as a parental figure for my kids, especially if he might not be a long-term presence in their lives. I want my children to be raised with Christian values, and while he has said he would respect that, he has also made comments that question Christianity, which makes me doubt his commitment to helping me raise them in that way. Additionally, he spends $200 a month on nicotine, which isn’t necessarily bad, but he doesn’t seem to see it as a financial concern, while I do. I also feel that it might be too soon for us to take this step, even though we had initially planned to live together as roommates in front of the kids. Are these concerns valid? Are there other issues I should consider, or am I just overreacting?

I'm a 26-year-old woman, and I feel like he, a 28-year-old man, has wasted nine years of my life.

**[TL;DR] Is it wrong for me, a 26-year-old woman, to want to end my relationship with my partner, a 28-year-old man, because he has wasted 9 years of my life by delaying our plans to have children?** **Edit:** This post is on behalf of my sister, who is new to Reddit and still figuring things out. Any advice would be appreciated, as I’ll share the link with her. Thank you! **Edit 2:** My sister has replied to some comments below, so please check those for additional context. Is it wrong for me to want to end my relationship because I want children and he is firmly against it? I find it selfish that he made me wait nearly a decade only to tell me that he has no interest in having kids. My partner and I have been together for 9 years. I've always expressed my desire to have children, and he initially agreed that we would start a family one day. However, just a few days ago when I mentioned the idea of having kids, he finally said he doesn’t want them because he doesn't want to take on the financial responsibilities that come with parenting. We’re in a stable place and have everything we need, so I feel ready to take that step, but his words and actions indicate otherwise. He mentioned that I would need to continue working throughout my pregnancy and after, which I think is unreasonable given that my job involves exposure to chemicals and dust (I’m a nail technician). I’ve made it clear before that if I were to have a baby, I would need to take time off work for the child’s health. The concern for me is that he will not allow me to be a stay-at-home mom, which ultimately led to his decision that we cannot have children. Am I being selfish for wanting kids when he doesn’t? I feel really depressed and stressed about this situation.