Relationship advices: Family Conflicts

How can I, a 19-year-old female, inform my parents about my boyfriend, a 22-year-old male, considering that they don't approve of him?

I'm using a burner account to share this. We began as coworkers and friends, but eventually realized we had feelings for each other and started dating. He has joined me on several family trips, always presenting himself as “just a friend.” On one of those trips last year, he had some weed, which my parents strongly disapproved of, and it almost led them to make me stop seeing him. However, after some time, we were able to spend time together again, and we've been officially dating since then. He has joined my family on another trip recently, and everything seems to be going well. My parents are aware that we hang out alone and that we have plans for an upcoming trip with friends. I really want to tell them that I’m dating him because I feel mature enough to do so, and he has been supportive of my family and me. However, I'm unsure of how they will react since he attends community college while I’m at a university, which seems to be an issue for them. It seems like they’ve moved past that previous incident, and he has shown he’s responsible since then, but I’m still feeling conflicted. After that situation, they seemed to think we might be dating and were very much against that idea. What should I do? Keeping this a secret has been challenging for me at times.

I'm a 27-year-old woman living with my boyfriend, who is 27, and his family. However, his brother is creating some difficulties, and I'm unsure how to handle the situation.

I’m a 27-year-old woman living with my 27-year-old boyfriend and his family. Although our move to a bigger room in the house isn’t fully official yet, we’re currently waiting for furniture to be delivered and making adjustments to ensure the space is comfortable for both of us. Since September, I’ve been staying in his current room, gradually making small changes to prepare for the transition. For about six years, I parked on the street, but right before winter, my boyfriend reorganized the garage to accommodate my Honda Fit. With four other cars in the household, mine became the fifth. Now we can fit two cars in the garage and three on the driveway. I park in the garage alongside his mom, while my boyfriend, his dad, and his brother use the driveway. Recently, my boyfriend injured his hand and is currently unable to work, yet we’ve stuck with our routine. However, it’s become apparent that his brother often sleeps in late, causing delays for me as I try to leave for work. To remedy this, my boyfriend moved his car to the garage to ensure I can depart on time. About a year ago, my boyfriend’s brother started dating a lovely girl whom I get along with well. A couple of weeks ago, after playing DND with friends, my boyfriend informed me that his brother’s girlfriend parked in the driveway, taking up my spot. He was upset about this since I’ve transitioned from street parking to driveway/garage parking over the past few months. To avoid conflict while they were sleeping, I opted to stay at my parents’ house for the night because I didn’t want to imply that parking spots operate on a “first come, first served” basis. The real issue arose last night when I had a late doctor’s appointment and returned home around 8 PM. I parked in the driveway without thinking twice about it. After assisting my boyfriend with changing his bandages, his mom came in with some news: his brother had instructed his girlfriend to park in the driveway again. To avoid involving my boyfriend, who was asleep after a long day at the hospital, his mom approached his brother about moving the car. Unfortunately, the exchange turned heated; he reacted angrily, claiming it wasn’t a big deal and that I should just park on the street. He insisted that his mom was yelling at him, despite her calm approach. In defense of my parking situation, she stated, “This is OP’s home; you wouldn’t ask your brother or dad to park on the street, and your girlfriend doesn’t live here.” While he eventually moved the car, he continued to complain and argue with their mom, trying to guilt her into feeling bad. Now, I’m unsure how to navigate this situation, as I’m concerned it might negatively affect my relationship with his brother, particularly since my boyfriend values family ties.

[33M] wants to invite the family of his child's mother to his wedding, but his [33F] fiancée is against it. Is this a reasonable request?

I have a 5-year-old daughter with my ex, and I'm really close to my ex's brother-in-law, who remains a good friend of mine to this day. However, there's an issue: my fiancée doesn’t get along with my ex’s sister. We’re a blended family—she brings three kids to the relationship, and I have one. My friend can be a bit blunt at times, which doesn’t sit well with everyone, but I know his intentions are good. While my fiancée is okay with him attending the wedding, she does not want my ex's sister there at all. I understand that if I invite my friend without his sister, he will likely decline. My fiancée thinks it's reasonable to exclude my ex's family from our wedding, while I feel differently. She’s concerned that the sister will update my ex on the wedding details, but I would have no issue if she did. I'm trying to present both sides fairly in this post because I'm looking for honest opinions on the matter.

My boyfriend (19 years old) doesn't communicate much with my parents, and I'm unsure how to handle the situation.

I'm an 18-year-old female and my boyfriend is 19. My parents are truly my best friends; I share everything with them. When I first met my boyfriend, we connected immediately, and I care for him deeply. However, over the past year, he has been communicating less and less with my parents. Just before I left, I told him, “I’m still your girlfriend, but I need to take a break from us for a bit.” This was after my mom expressed her concerns about his antisocial behavior towards her and my dad. I explained to him that I always treat his parents with respect, and the situation just feels unfair. Aside from this issue, he's generally a great guy who treats me well and doesn’t have many deal-breaking flaws. For context, he's nice to everyone, but his reasoning for avoiding my parents is that it makes him uncomfortable since they are my parents. I don't really understand this since I’m friendly with his family. I'm seeking advice on how to navigate this situation as I'm feeling quite confused. I love him dearly; he's like my best friend, and my friends like him too. But I also value my relationship with my parents and don’t know how to balance the two. What should I do?

My boyfriend's younger sister, who is 19, revealed my private information without a second thought.

How should I approach this situation? Recently, I've been working hard to improve my relationship with my boyfriend’s younger sister, especially since we've had some awkward moments in the past. I recognize how important she is to him, despite her previous rudeness and unkind remarks toward me. My boyfriend has addressed her behavior and has asked her to apologize, but I often feel that her apologies lack sincerity. The latest incident occurred yesterday. A few days ago, I confided in her about my experience with their stepfather, who made inappropriate and offensive comments about me and my race. She seemed very supportive at the time and expressed her disgust with his behavior. However, a day later, my boyfriend received a call from their mother, who learned about the situation through his sister. When he confronted her and told her to apologize to me, she didn’t follow through. I usually don’t expect apologies, knowing it’s not worth the wait, but this situation with her is incredibly frustrating. Here’s why it bothers me: she seems obsessed with me. She imitates my style, my social media posts, my music preferences, my hobbies—essentially everything. Though it might be flattering under different circumstances, her behavior is off-putting because of the way she treats me. Initially, I found it kind of cute and even encouraged her by sharing music and show recommendations. I’ve genuinely attempted to be a friend to her. However, whenever we’re together in person, she appears tense and unable to relax. I wish we could have a normal relationship. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this multiple times, and he believes she feels intimidated by me due to my self-confidence and independence. It seems that her insecurities are holding her back. I’ve tried to reassure her, aware that my opinion matters to her, but she doesn't seem receptive. I’m really looking for guidance on how to navigate these mixed signals.

My wife (30F) is asking me to inform my mother-in-law that she provides me with money for rent.

My mother-in-law has been living rent-free in one of our properties for several years. She operates a car dealership but doesn’t work full-time. This morning, my wife informed me that her mother had begun asking her for rent payments for our house, which her mom declined. My wife sent me a message saying that if her mother reaches out to me about refusing to pay rent, I should tell her that my wife has been contributing money for the mortgage (which isn’t true, as I cover it since my wife works part-time) and that we truly need the rent money. This situation makes me uncomfortable. It feels like my wife is fabricating a story to gain favor with her mom for supposedly supporting them. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m being used. I relocated for work three years ago, and while my wife attempted to join me, she eventually moved back to be close to her family. To accommodate this, I purchased her a house near them while continuing to pay mortgages on both her property and the one where my in-laws reside. I see her once a month, and she visits me two to three times a year, yet she seems to have the time to take month-long road trips each month for the past four months. It all feels deeply unbalanced. I’ve discussed my feelings with her, but she maintains that our marriage is equal. Should I lie to my mother-in-law, tell her the truth, or avoid the situation entirely? Thank you in advance for your advice.

[26-year-old male] with [25-year-old female]

I'm a 26-year-old man, and my girlfriend is 25 and currently pregnant. I've been doing a lot of housework, like washing dishes, doing laundry, and cleaning daily. However, she feels I should contribute even more and take the initiative to do tasks without her needing to ask me. I’m a laid-back guy who likes to help, but I need guidance on what to do to avoid overstepping or doing things improperly. I enjoy playing video games, but she wants me to cut back on that, and she often finds little things that upset her. For example, if I accidentally drop something on the carpet, she reacts as if it’s a huge catastrophe, while she seems to brush off her own minor mistakes. I also take care of her dog, feeding it and walking it, but I still feel overwhelmed. I’m feeling really low and have even contemplated harming myself, although I don’t want to leave my child to grow up just with her. The situation is complicated because I have nowhere to go. I've invested all my savings into the house we live in, and my parents have distanced themselves since learning about the pregnancy. I really need some advice on how to navigate this tough situation.

My mom, who is 46, won't stop rearranging my stuff.

If something is placed in a specific location in my room, it's because that's the most convenient spot for me to keep it, even if it might not look perfectly organized. (And yes, I do try to maintain a presentable space.) It's nothing extreme; I usually just keep certain items within reach of my bed and desk. However, my mother often rearranges things in my room according to her preferences, claiming it makes the space "presentable" (but for whom?). She never tells me when she does this, leaving me to discover the changes on my own. Whenever I bring this up, she responds in the same way. She denies doing anything, and when I point out her changes, she claims she only moved a few things. When I highlight even more alterations that bother me, she either insists I should be grateful for her "cleaning" my room or mocks me for getting upset over minor issues. If she ever admits to her actions and promises to stop, I inevitably catch her doing the same thing again just a few days later. It's nothing major, nor am I trying to hide anything; it's simply frustrating and inconvenient for me. I feel powerless since she can easily dismiss any concerns I raise. I’ve even tried rearranging things myself to see how she likes it (I admit, it's a bit childish), but she seems unfazed. What can I do to put an end to this behavior?

Wife [20 years old] is pregnant and very unkind to her partner, who is 22 years old.

My wife is 20, and I’m 22. She’s 8 weeks pregnant, and I know the hormones can be tough. However, it feels like every other day she starts an argument. Recently, I caught her with a guy she’s friends with, someone I’m not comfortable with. When I asked if she was hanging out with him, she denied it, but I clearly saw them together. She continues to lie about it, and now she says I’m making her life miserable and that I’m controlling her. The truth is, I don’t mind if they hang out, but I can’t stand the dishonesty. She even told me that I don’t want this baby and that I want her to have a miscarriage. I feel like I’ve done everything for her, and in return, she treats me poorly, often calling me a crybaby. When I cried in front of her once, she just made fun of me and called me names. She insists I don't understand what it’s like to carry a child, which I do. But then she tells me that I’ll be a terrible dad, and those words really hurt me. I often apologize for overthinking and reacting strongly, but she never acknowledges the hurtful things she says or does. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I believe I would be a good parent because I do everything for her; I cook, clean, and I’m the one researching how to be a good father. I read parenting books to prepare myself, while she just dismisses me and claims I will be a bad parent. I never get a thank you for any of my efforts.

I'm a 21-year-old woman seeking guidance regarding my relationship with my 50-year-old mother. Please note there may be sensitive topics related to non-detailed childhood experiences.

I’m 21 and would like to share the beginning of my story. When I was 12, my mother discovered that my father, who had not been in a relationship with her for years, was sexually abusing me. She contacted the police, and the case went to court, but ultimately he faced no consequences due to a lack of evidence—my testimony was the only proof available. After that ordeal faded, my mother rekindled her friendship with him, frequently spoke positively about him, and often encouraged me to reach out to him again despite my distress. She even said things like, “I don’t understand... come on, he knows what he did was wrong. Just get over it,” as if I should resume a relationship with him. My older sister chose to reconnect with our father and interacts with him normally to this day. I, however, have not spoken to him since and have no desire to; the trauma still affects me deeply. There’s more to this story, but it would take a long time to explain everything. This situation strained my relationship with my mother, as I often felt unsupported by her. During my teenage years, I hardly communicated with her, even though we lived together. She frequently expressed her dislike for me, labeling me a narcissist and suggesting I might become abusive as an adult. At times, she would completely shut down communication with me. I recall coming out of my room to find her and my sister laughing together only for them to fall silent when I entered the room. My mother would avoid eye contact and turn away. Being homeschooled meant I had no friends or outside support, leaving me feeling incredibly isolated. Now that I’m 21 and living on my own, I initially distanced myself from my mother. After some time, I decided I wanted to try building a relationship with her, feeling more emotionally secure outside of her home. However, I’m finding it challenging. She has done a lot for me—buying food, gifting me plants because she knows I love them, and helping me install my fridge in my apartment. I appreciate all of this, yet her presence still triggers me. When I’m with her, I often revert to feeling like a bullied teenager, shutting down and feeling ashamed. I also become overly sensitive to her remarks. For instance, after I broke up with my boyfriend last year, she and her new husband sided with him on an issue, which upset me greatly—even though it may not have seemed significant. I struggle with feelings of guilt for experiencing discomfort around my mother, especially given her recent kindness. Sometimes, I find myself snapping at her, feeling anxious and defensive, reminiscent of my teenage years. How can I move forward from the way she treated me in the past?

Seeking guidance on my relationship with my mom [42F] and myself [19M].

Recently, my mom attempted to kiss me on the lips, but I turned my face away. She also tried to undress in front of me. I’m 19 and she’s 42. I’m unsure about how to handle this situation— is it normal, or should I be concerned?

My Mom Continues to Dismiss My Relationship [M22], and It's Impacting My Girlfriend [F20] — Any Advice?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a while now. We met on an app around mid to late September, started taking an interest in each other in mid to late October, and officially became a couple a week ago. I've been transparent with my parents about our relationship since we first connected. My dad occasionally asks about her and seems fine with it, but my mom tends to dismiss the topic whenever I bring her up, even from the start, despite not having met her yet. It's clear she has reservations about my girlfriend, even if she doesn't openly express them. I've shared my mom's feelings with my girlfriend and have been honest about the situation, but I don't think she fully grasps why my mom is acting this way, and honestly, I'm a bit perplexed as well. From my perspective, I feel like the natural next step would be for my parents—especially my mom—to at least recognize my girlfriend and eventually meet her so they can get to know each other. One parent is receptive while the other isn't. Given my mom's strong opinions, I doubt her feelings will change as she tends to be quite stubborn and holds onto her beliefs. I've tried discussing it with my mom before, but I'm not pushing the issue at this point. I want to avoid creating any unnecessary tension. My girlfriend remains my partner, but we've had our ups and downs, leaving me feeling somewhat stuck. What are your thoughts?

How can I tell if my boyfriend [24 M] is hesitant about renting an apartment with me [25 F]?

After seven years together and six years living with him, I can’t continue living with his parents in this house or this area. However, my boyfriend isn’t interested in renting. I understand it will be costly, but I’ve been trying to explain to him that I’m not happy here. He often complains about his job and worries that having too many job opportunities nearby is a negative sign. A few weeks back, he mentioned holding off on a move because he was going to get his license, which still hasn’t happened. I know he’s feeling anxious, and I am too, but I’m the one actively looking at listings. I’m reaching out to agents, exploring the area, and calculating the potential costs for bills. We haven’t viewed any homes yet, and I can't stand living with hoarders any longer. When I suggest moving, he doesn’t seem enthusiastic about it. If we were to split up, I wouldn’t be able to afford rent on my own and would end up back in a shelter. In summary, I just want my life to progress. I need to escape this house and this area so I can find happiness.

Filipina woman (35) married to an American man (36). Is anyone experiencing challenges due to cultural differences?

Subject: Seeking Advice on a Difficult Family Situation Hi, I am an only child and the only close family I have is my mother, who is 52 and had me when she was quite young. Despite the challenges of growing up in poverty, my mother made countless sacrifices to ensure I could attend college. Now, I am living in the USA and working as a nurse. Before I got married, I initiated the process for my mother to migrate here. Last year, her petition was approved, and she has since moved in with my husband and me. In Filipino culture, it is common for children to care for their parents, especially when they have made significant sacrifices for them. This sense of responsibility is why I decided to petition for my mother's immigration. A few years ago, she had a stroke, and I wanted her to have access to better care. Now that my mother is living with us, I’ve noticed that my husband seems unhappy about it. He often excludes her from activities and expects her to cater to him instead of making an effort to welcome her. My mother has expressed feeling like a burden and unwelcome in our home, which deeply saddens me. My husband questions my decision to bring her here, and this feels unfair to me. I have embraced and loved his son as my own, yet I don't receive the same acceptance for my mother. I am the primary financial provider for our family and have never asked my husband for financial support for my mom. Recently, he told me I shouldn't have married if my priority was caring for my mother. This hurts because I believed that love means caring for each other's families. It’s incredibly challenging to be caught between two people I care about—my mother, who has sacrificed so much for me, and my husband, who seems to struggle with understanding what family means. I’m feeling overwhelmed by this situation and would appreciate any advice or insights you might have. Thank you.

[20M] My [18F] Girlfriend's Parents Disapprove of Our Relationship, and It's Straining Our Connection

I’m 20, and my girlfriend is 18. Both of us are blind, and we’ve been dating since August 2024. Our relationship has been incredible—I honestly couldn’t ask for a better partner. The connection I have with her is unlike anything I’ve ever known. She truly is my soulmate, and I struggle to express the depth of the feelings she brings out in me. From the start, however, her parents have never accepted us. Perhaps we should have anticipated it, but we hoped our love would prevail. I believed that if they got to know me better, they would appreciate how deeply I care for their daughter and recognize my commitment to her happiness. Initially, they cited concerns about our relationship being “inappropriate” and doubted that long-distance would work out. After several months of discussions, they finally agreed to let me visit her in January. I was diligent in involving them throughout the planning process, consistently checking to ensure they were comfortable with everything, and they assured me repeatedly that it was all right. I even tailored my travel arrangements to match their preferences. The visit itself was unforgettable—truly the best experience of our lives. We realized during that time that our love was genuine, and we weren’t going to let go. Her parents were pleasant towards me while I was there, pretending everything was just fine and never indicating any issues with our relationship. However, as soon as I left, everything changed. They told her how much they disapproved of me and vowed to do everything in their power to end our relationship. The insults began to fly. They called me the worst blind person they had ever encountered, labeled me as an jerk, and accused me of being manipulative and ruining her college experience. They claimed she didn’t truly understand love and described me as obsessive. To make matters worse, they later told her that I had coerced them into allowing my visit—despite the fact that I had made every effort to ensure their comfort, and I had their explicit permission before finalizing any plans. They had even agreed multiple times, and I have messages to support that. Yet, they twisted the situation to portray me as someone who forced my way into her life. What’s even more distressing is that her parents seize any chance to spread those negative sentiments to friends, family, and acquaintances—painting me as an insufferable person. However, when they spoke to me directly, they maintained a facade of cordiality. I just don’t understand why they would act this way, and neither does she. This entire ordeal is taking an emotional toll on both of us. It’s draining and painful. The reality of being torn apart by those who should want her happiness is almost indescribable. She feels trapped each day, caught between me—the person she loves dearly—and her parents, who wield significant influence over her life. I feel helpless, as if no matter how strong my love is or how much I try to prove myself, it will never be enough for them. We both cry about it; we both lose sleep over it. The weight of their harsh words rests heavily upon us every single day. The stress and the emotional burden can feel overwhelming at times. Yet, despite all this, we refuse to let go. We won’t give up on each other. Because we envision a future together. Unfortunately, her parents don’t share that vision. They have made it abundantly clear that they not only disapprove of me, but also of our relationship as a whole. They want her to be with someone who is sighted, believing that I can’t provide her with the life she deserves. They even went so far as to say that if we were successful and started a family, it would still be a tragedy if our children were blind. That comment broke both our hearts. How can you respond to something like that? How do you cope with the fact that the very people who should champion her see blindness as something to avoid—something that would diminish the joy of a family? We exist in a world where blindness doesn’t define love or success. They should know this, especially as parents of a blind daughter. Yet, they’re trapped in their outdated beliefs and refuse to see the reality we understand. I wish I could find a solution. I wish she could assert herself more, but honestly, what options remain? Our love for each other is undeniable. If it were a broader societal issue, one that we couldn’t change, I could understand. But it’s mainly her parents who have the most sway over her choices. She has the opportunity to move out soon, which gives us hope. Yet, I worry that before that can happen, they’ll sway her opinion or break her spirit so thoroughly that she won’t feel able to resist. I’m at a loss for what to do. How can we stay resilient in the face of all this? How do we cling to each other when it feels like the entire world is against us? I can’t bear the thought of losing her. I won’t lose her. Any advice would mean the world to us right now.

I [28F] don’t want my dad [64M] to feel like he has to be around me.

To provide some context: my dad, who is 64, suffered a brain aneurysm nearly a decade ago. The incident seriously affected him; he spent a few months in rehabilitation and still struggles to function normally. The aneurysm affected the left side of his brain, leading to difficulties with word associations, memory, and logic. Shortly after his hospitalization, I, at 28, moved out of my parents’ house to live with my then-boyfriend, and we got married five years ago. A year later, my dad was placed in an assisted living facility to ensure his needs were met. Over the last couple of years, his condition has deteriorated; his cognitive abilities are declining, making conversations difficult. He rarely speaks unless prompted, and it has become challenging to read his emotions. I mourned the loss of the father I once knew long ago; the man I see now isn’t the father I grew up with. He wasn’t perfect, but he was warm, kind, and funny—not the shell of a person he is today. My stepmother, mother, and sister usually check in to ensure he is treated well in the group home, which seems fine, but his decline is evident. Recently, he hasn’t been receiving adequate care, which has affected his eating habits and put him at risk for diabetes. About six months ago, my family decided that he would visit a family member each weekend for meals. With my mother and her wife, plus four kids, he joins us at least once a month. Last October, my ex and I realized we had grown apart and decided to file for divorce. We’re currently in the midst of the proceedings, which has taken a significant mental toll on me. I’m in therapy three days a week for at least an hour each session, focusing on self-care and addressing my tendency to prioritize others over myself. Today was supposed to be my day to cook for my dad, but I came down with a stomach bug. This morning, I felt a lot of frustration about the situation. I feel like my dad is being thrust upon me; I have to cook for him, or my mom and stepmom will never let me hear the end of it. It's not that I dislike my dad, but his cognitive issues make conversation difficult, and engaging with him can feel like caring for a toddler—using specific wording and only communicating when asked a question. I’ve realized I’m developing negative feelings toward him because I don’t feel I have a choice in this situation. My mental health is still a significant concern, and this has only added to the stress. It’s not that I don’t want to see my dad; it’s that it feels forced, which brings negativity to the situation. Right now, I don’t have the mental capacity to "babysit" my dad while the healthcare system drags its feet. I’m uncertain about what to do moving forward. While I don’t need advice, I’m open to it, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my story. (P.S. English isn’t my first language, so please excuse any spelling or grammatical errors.)

Should I Sever Connections With My Family?

I've never posted anything like this before, but I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm feeling lost. I'm considering cutting ties with my family for various reasons, although part of me is hesitant due to certain concerns. I'm 21 years old and nonbinary (assigned female at birth). I've been out for four years, with almost everyone in my life knowing, except for my immediate family, apart from a few cousins I feel comfortable with. I've lived with my partner for three years, which has helped create some distance from my family. While I've gained some independence, it often feels like they still shadow me. For context, my family holds very right-wing views and supports Trump, which is their choice, but it crosses a line when their beliefs veer into racism and transphobia. We're Mexican American, with my father being an immigrant, yet they hold these problematic views. I understand their mindset, but it feels morally wrong to me, making it difficult to be around them. I can only brush off their comments as "just opinions" for so long before it becomes exhausting. I know that if I were to fully express my true self, they would dislike me and never grasp who I really am. I also have an older sister (27) who has a child. While I care for her and empathize with her situation, I fear she's been heavily influenced by our parents' political ideologies. I try to share my views with her, but she often dismisses me, claiming I lack life experience. Ironically, she frequently reaches out to me for assistance, whether it's financial help or rides to work, as her husband has taken her car and they haven't bought a new one. To provide some background: my brother-in-law's car broke down and borrowed my sister's car. Subsequently, my grandmother gave her a vehicle to use. However, when my brother-in-law's car was stolen, he started using the one from my grandmother again. They did receive insurance money for the stolen car, which I suspect was used for their son’s second birthday party rather than getting another car. I understand wanting to provide a joyful experience for their child, but their priorities seem misaligned. Additionally, my sister often asks me for rides to work while I'm busy with school or work myself. When I say no, I can sense her annoyance through her sarcastic replies. For example, one time she spammed me with texts while I was in class, calling me when I didn’t respond. I sent an automated message asking her to call later, to which she replied with, “Ok. Enjoy your day,” clearly frustrated with me. I can feel her attempts to make me feel guilty. There was another incident when I sent her a picture of my card so she could use it for Instacart, as she couldn’t go out due to not having a car or money. I was fine with this, wanting to help, especially for my nephew. However, a few weeks later, I noticed nearly $185 missing from my account. After panicking and locking my card, I discovered that she had used it without asking, thinking I wouldn’t mind and would pay me back. In the end, she only reimbursed me half of what she took. Returning to my parents, I know many people suggest that communicating with them could lead to understanding. While that’s possible, I’m genuinely terrified of them. Growing up in an unsafe environment, I was subjected to physical punishment, which made me submissive and non-confrontational. I learned to keep to myself and obey to avoid negative consequences. My younger brother is now 13, and though things have shifted from physical to verbal punishment, the environment is still unhealthy. He seems to be well-adjusted, likely due to the supportive friends he’s made. While I'm happy for him, I still worry and feel a conflict within myself. I recognize that cutting contact with my family could be beneficial for me, but I don’t want to abandon my brother. I sense that he may be part of the LGBTQ+ community, given subtle hints and behaviors I've observed. I fear that leaving would isolate him, yet I don’t know how much longer I can continue pretending to be someone I’m not. I wish I could take him out of that environment, but my partner and I lack the financial means, space, or maturity to care for a teenager. I'm truly at a crossroads and unsure of what to do next. Any advice?

The boyfriend's mom has made a few suggestive remarks regarding him.

Recently, my boyfriend hurt his back and has been struggling to move around as he usually does. Since we’re both in our early 20s and living at home with our parents, I decided to visit him to see how he was doing. During my visit, while he was walking around, his mom jokingly said something like, “Oh, he’s showing off because you’re here!” Later, while we were all in the kitchen getting dinner, my boyfriend mentioned his back pain and how difficult it was for him to move. As I helped him carry plates, his mom made a comment like, “Well, since he can’t move, you can do whatever you want!” My boyfriend shot me a strange look, and I laughed it off, not realizing the implication. Then she added, “He might actually enjoy you being in charge, since he doesn’t have to move at all!” I finally caught on, but my initial response was a bit naive: “Wait! I was thinking that if we played tag, he wouldn’t be able to tag me back, so I’d win automatically.” That was the highlight of my week, and I’m curious—do some people just have this type of humor? I could see my friends joking this way, but given that it was about her son, it felt a bit off to me. Am I overreacting for finding it strange in the context of his mom talking about him? There were a couple of other comments, but these were the ones that made both my boyfriend and me feel awkward the most. TLDR: My boyfriend hurt his back, and his mom joked that I could "do whatever I want" to him, adding he’d probably enjoy it. Is this weird, or am I just being a prude?

Me (36, male) and my girlfriend (46, female) feel like she is being unappreciative or selfish.

My girlfriend (46) and I (36) have been in a serious relationship for about 2.5 years. We both have our own homes, live about 45 minutes apart, and while she has children, I don’t. Recently, I was quite ill and needed a couple of days to recuperate. During that time, she made comments suggesting I should make the most of my downtime, telling me to take medication or start tackling chores to help myself feel better. After a few days, I was back to work and noticed that whenever I'm unwell, I have to fend for myself, from grocery shopping to taking care of my needs. As I started to recover, she unfortunately caught the same illness. Aware that she had a lot on her plate, I went over to help her out, despite still not feeling completely well. I spent around $200 on groceries and prepared everything from scratch, including a stir fry for her and her kids one evening, a nice dinner the next day, and homemade chicken soup on the third day. I also took care of her 16-year-old daughter, who was sick as well, handled various tasks around the house, ran errands, and organized her son’s birthday party. Meanwhile, she and her daughter were resting for three days and barely doing anything. I mentioned that she hadn’t shown much compassion when I was sick, which led to a brief argument where she recognized her lack of consideration. However, with both of them sick, they were dropping things everywhere. Now, even a week later, I’m still dealing with symptoms, mainly intense stomach cramps that send me to the bathroom frequently. She has had the same symptoms, her son has too, and even her mom. One morning, while she was chatting with her daughter, my stomach was acting up, and I saw she was taking forever to shower. I really needed to use the bathroom, so I went in as I was finishing up. She realized I was in there, which sparked another argument, as she was frustrated that I was using the bathroom. There are two bathrooms in her house: one near her bedroom and another in the basement that her daughters use, which is always dirty. When I suggested using the basement bathroom, she reacted strongly, claiming it would upset her daughter. She went out for a bit, and we texted about our disagreement. I told her I felt unappreciated, but she didn't respond to that message; instead, she said she had to go to the doctor's. I drove her there to check for pneumonia, and after returning home, I ended up helping her again because she was still unwell and had family matters to address. During the drive, we argued again, and I expressed that her reaction had been inappropriate, especially considering how much I had helped her. I reminded her that she always says people should think before speaking and that she should follow her own advice. All I want in return is not to be treated rudely or selfishly. Am I in the wrong here? **TL;DR:** - I was sick for a few days, and my girlfriend didn’t seem supportive. - When I’m unwell, I manage everything on my own. - After she got sick, I tried to help her, buying groceries and cooking meals. - I took care of her kids and handled household chores for several days. - I still have lingering symptoms, and one morning I needed the bathroom when she was preoccupied. - This led to an argument when she became upset about me using the bathroom. - Using the basement bathroom is not allowed, as it’s considered inappropriate despite its poor condition. - I expressed feeling unappreciated, but she ignored my feelings. - I drove her to the doctor’s office and helped her again later, but we had another argument about her reaction. - What am I doing wrong?

Should I Inform My Wife About Her Father's Inappropriate Online Behavior?

My wife and I have been married for about a decade, having dated for several years before that. When her father drinks, he can be quite unpleasant. Despite this, my wife holds him in high esteem and considers him a man of integrity. Recently, during a discussion about why men can be jerks, she pointed to her father as an example of a good man who was "raised right." Over time, I've found it increasingly difficult to be around him for a number of reasons. One incident particularly stands out when he drunkenly called me an asshole, despite my being completely civil. He misinterpreted my comments as sarcasm due to his intoxication. I was on the verge of losing my temper, but my wife intervened, and he ended up leaving. This isn't the first time he's been disrespectful, and although I've tried to keep the peace for my wife's sake, I've reached my limit. Another reason for my disdain goes back about 20 years to when I was dating her. Online gaming was just becoming popular, and I occasionally used their family computer with their permission. One day, I noticed an online game her father had left open, where he was engaged in a chat that was shockingly inappropriate. He was sending sexual messages to women, asking them graphic questions about their bodies and discussing what he wanted to do with them. I've kept this information from my wife to avoid conflict, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to see her view him as innocent while carrying this knowledge. I'm not looking to confront him or his wife about it, even though I would like to, but I wish my wife could see her father for who he really is. *So, should I bring up his troubling past with my wife?* As a side note, I saved images of the chat as evidence, in case it ever becomes necessary to show her the truth. They've been on my computer for about 15 years now, so I have proof if she doubts my honesty. EDIT: Regarding why I haven't mentioned this before, I've tried to let it slide, but it occasionally resurfaces in my mind. Just a few days ago, we had a conversation that led her to ask about my feelings toward her family. She picked up on my discomfort around them. While I like the rest of her family, I brought up that incident where her father called me an asshole. Since then, I've regretted not revealing the deeper reasons for my lack of respect for him, particularly that earlier story.

My brother has pulled away from me; should I still consider visiting him?

Last year, my brother and sister-in-law distanced themselves from my parents due to ongoing conflicts. When I tried reaching out, they often claimed to be busy. They did call me on my birthday, but since then, our communication has only been through texts. Honestly, I don't feel inclined to stay in touch, even though it hurts, as we were never that close to begin with. Since I live in another country and only visit my hometown once a year, I let my brother know I would be coming back, but he just acknowledged it without asking if I'd arrived or inviting me over. My dad frequently visits them to see his grandson and often calls, but they just pass the phone to my nephew. This happened again today; they didn’t even say hello to me. My dad is pressuring me to visit them to see my nephew, but I really don’t want to—it feels insulting. I want to avoid any regrets later, but I'm uncertain whether I should go. I'm genuinely exhausted by this family drama and have a fulfilling life abroad. It’s frustrating to feel like I have to do things I don't want to just to keep the peace in these relationships.

My 27-year-old sister and my 50-year-old mom had a disagreement right before my trip to Thailand.

Firstly, I apologize for any grammatical errors; English is not my first language. To begin, I'm a 21-year-old man, and about a month ago, my 56-year-old father asked me to join him in Thailand. I seized the opportunity to travel, as it has always been a dream of mine. However, this is my first time flying alone, especially on a long 15-hour flight, and I tend to be quite anxious. To help me cope, my 50-year-old mother organized a dinner with my sister, who is 27, and me, followed by a trip to the airport together the next day. We went to a lovely Greek restaurant, and when we got home, I wanted to play one last game with my friends. During the game, my sister and mother ended up arguing. They have a turbulent relationship, as my sister had a troubled adolescence; she ran away, experimented with drugs, stole from my mom, and a lot more. After the game, I went to see what was happening, and they were screaming at each other. I asked them to stop, but they didn’t listen. My sister became very angry and started hurling insults at my mom, calling her "the worst mother." I had only asked them to calm down, but then she directed her anger at me too. My mother and I are really close; my sister was absent for much of my childhood. My sister accused my mom of always protecting me, despite her own absence. I noticed that my sister had dilated pupils, which made me think she might have been using something, and the alcohol certainly didn’t help (I don't drink, but they do). Things escalated when my sister became physical, slapping my mom, who then just pushed her away. I stepped in to intervene, and while my sister calmed down somewhat, she continued to hurl insults before storming out. I can't shake the feeling that this is my fault. I don’t understand how things got so out of control, especially since we had been working to mend our relationships lately. My sister and I had been talking almost every day since my mom's struggles with depression, and now I'm leaving with the guilt of having created this situation when I only wanted to enjoy a nice evening with my family. I have a flight tomorrow, and I'm really seeking some advice. Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope it makes sense because I don’t have anyone else to talk to.

Please assist me in getting out of this situation.

Today, I spent some time in my town center hanging out with friends. It's a Tuesday, and for the past few months, I've been lying to my parents about going to college when I'm actually not. While we were hanging out, I kissed one of my friends a few times and started flirting with her. When we got on the escalator, I lit up a cigarette, and suddenly I heard a guy behind me say, "Call Mamu Rashid" to Siri (that's my dad's name). I turned around and realized it was my cousin, whom I hadn’t seen in a year. It took me a moment to recognize him. I decided to ignore him because, honestly, who uses Siri to make calls these days? It felt like he wanted me to overhear him. I was panicking the rest of the day, worrying if he’d tell my dad about what he saw—whether it was me kissing my friend or smoking. When I got home, I noticed there were missed calls from him on my dad's phone at the same time he called out to Siri on the escalator. My cousin’s parents have always been difficult with my family, especially since they never approved of my parents' marriage. There’s a lot of tension between us, and I've always thought they were terrible people. Now, I’m at a loss about what to do. I don't want to come clean to my parents because I know they wouldn’t trust me again. Should I try to say it wasn’t me and that he mistook someone else for me? I could really use some advice on how to get out of this situation. Plus, my parents are homophobic and have no idea I'm gay, and they definitely don't know I smoke.

The Bfs family began to randomly bully me and make unfounded accusations.

**Background Context:** My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and his family recently moved to France, taking everyone with them. His siblings are in different high school grades: one is a senior, another is a junior, and the youngest is a freshman. Concerned for my safety and well-being in this situation, his grandmother reached out to me. She expressed her love for her grandson while also caring for me, warning that his mother is particularly protective. She indicated that if she feels I’m “taking her son away,” she might go to great lengths to keep us apart. My boyfriend ultimately decided to attend college back in the States to be with me and his friends. Recently, I spent three weeks in France with him and his family, and here’s what transpired. During my time with my boyfriend's family, I made a concerted effort to be kind and helpful. I bought his brothers nice gifts, made them breakfast, and tried to keep the house tidy. However, his 17-year-old brother constantly accused me of various things I didn’t do, treating me rudely and condescendingly—often hurling 2-3 accusations at me every day. For example, he criticized me for leaving Q-tips out, calling it “disgusting,” even though I hadn’t used them at all—only to discover that he did. He even berated my boyfriend for leaving an empty Sriracha bottle on the table for an hour, suggesting that we both “aren’t adults.” When my boyfriend left a yogurt container’s cardboard out, his brother overreacted again, despite my efforts to clean, walk the dogs, and pay for my own groceries. The situation intensified when a small receipt fell out of my bag in the car one evening. His brother quickly snapped at me to “learn how to pick up after yourself; it’s not hard.” I picked it up right away, but he continued to berate me. At dinner, he accused me of “purposefully” kicking his feet, implying I was acting childishly, even though I wasn’t even near him. Thankfully, my boyfriend stood up for me, but it was all quite surreal. Additionally, my boyfriend’s mother scolded him for defending me and demanding an apology from his brother. She insisted he shouldn’t take on a parental role, despite the fact that he was simply standing up against the unfounded accusations directed at me. It has been draining and painful to be blamed for things I haven’t done, especially when I’ve been trying my hardest to lend a hand and show respect. His brother’s comments seem deliberately provocative, and it’s incredibly frustrating. After leaving his family’s home, his father even sided with his brother, stating, “Slobs are better than if he called her a pig,” and insisted that his son owes me no apology. I find myself at a loss for what to do next; I tried discussing the issues with his mother, who dismissed my feelings, saying “no one will ever be good enough for my son” in her son's eyes. She suggested I try to be understanding, claiming his brother feels he has “lost his brother because of you,” which I suspect is the mother speaking through him. Now, I’m questioning whether to continue in this relationship. My boyfriend does his best to defend me, but his mother keeps telling me, “Don’t make him choose between you and his family.” I’m unsure if I want to navigate the guilt that comes with this situation.

What can I do to avoid feeling like an outsider in my boyfriend's family?

My boyfriend (23M) and I (24F) have been together for just over a year. Since we both live at home, I’ve had the opportunity to meet his parents and siblings multiple times. However, I’ve always struggled with social anxiety, which makes it hard for me to open up and truly be myself around others. His family dynamic is quite different from mine, and I’ve found it uncomfortable to fit in. They are really close, spend a lot of time together, and generally come across as a “normal” family, while my own family is more distant and has faced its share of conflicts. I’ve been making an effort to engage and be myself in order to feel like I belong, but I continue to find it challenging. The main reason I wanted to share this is because of something my boyfriend's dad said last night. After dinner, there was a typical debate among his siblings and my boyfriend about who would help with cleanup. One of his brothers questioned why my boyfriend wasn’t pitching in, and my boyfriend responded, “I have a guest.” His dad chimed in, noting that it's a general rule that someone with a guest is not obligated to help. Then the brother pressed further, asking why he had to help clean when his girlfriend was over. Their dad indicated that was different, explaining, “Because [brother’s girlfriend] is like family.” I kind of zoned out after that, but a moment later, the dad added, “Well, I suppose that applies to [my name] too.” I recognize that there was no ill intent behind his comment, but it stung nonetheless. It makes me feel even more like an outsider, and I'm unsure how to navigate this. My boyfriend encourages me to relax and be myself, but sometimes engaging feels like telling a joke that falls flat, with crickets in response. He’s also advised me not to compare myself to his brother’s girlfriend, which I’m trying to avoid. To be fair, I know his family doesn’t dislike me; they’re very kind overall. But the dad and siblings seem indifferent, at least from my perspective. Maybe I’m overreacting or just having a tough mental health week, but I want to know how I can improve the situation. I’m trying to express myself at my own pace, but I wonder if there are additional steps I can take to feel more included. Has anyone else experienced something similar with their partner’s family and figured out a way to navigate those feelings? I’d appreciate any advice on how to make this situation feel more welcoming and inclusive.

Pages: [1] 2 3