Relationship advices

My boyfriend raised his voice at me, and I’m unsure how to process it. I could use some advice.

Today wasn't the best day for my boyfriend. Something triggered his anxiety about a physical issue he often worries about. Due to past trauma, he tends to be avoidant and self-conscious about his appearance. Earlier, someone made a comment that unsettled him, and while he shared it with me, he quickly shut down the conversation when I tried to reassure him, indicating that he didn’t want to discuss it further. I gathered that he was feeling unwell because of it. As the evening went on, we spent time together, though he was somewhat withdrawn and didn’t feel like talking or engaging in much. Towards the end of the night, I approached him to check in as I noticed he seemed to be pulling away. When I asked what was on his mind, he replied that he didn’t know, and when I speculated it might be about his hair, he said, “think so.” That response left me confused; it felt uncertain, and I often struggle with nuances of communication, like sarcasm. Wanting clarification, I asked, “What do you mean? Is there something else?” He replied with “yeah,” but my anxiety grew, leading me to feel a mental fog settle in, sensing that there was more beneath the surface. Earlier in the night, we'd exchanged kisses and hugs, even though he seemed reserved. However, towards the end, when I suggested cuddling, he responded with “I don’t know,” which triggered my anxiety—I’m naturally a nervous person. I tried to express my confusion over his earlier response since “think so” implied uncertainty. This led to him getting upset, telling me he was “pissed off” and that he had been trying to be patient with me. When I tried to explain my feelings, he raised his voice in exasperation, prompting me to apologize for my confusion, even though I wanted him to know that I wasn’t trying to make it about myself. He said, “I think so,” in agreement with my question, and added that it wasn’t his fault I didn’t understand the meaning behind his words. He felt like I was making the situation about me, and he was unhappy that I had provoked him to yell. Despite his frustration, he offered some comfort, saying, “Apology accepted, but I’m done for tonight,” and that he would see me the next day. Now, I’m left feeling confused. I know that dealing with an anxious person while managing your own mood can be challenging, and I empathize with his feelings of frustration. He seems aware of how his yelling affects the situation, but he tends to be very matter-of-fact and blunt. When upset, he tends to withdraw to avoid further conflict, while I prefer to sort things out since I’m emotionally sensitive and understanding. I’m seeking advice on how to navigate this situation. Please be gentle. TL;DR: My boyfriend got upset when I became anxious because he shut down emotionally, yelled at me, and now I'm feeling confused.

I'm uncertain about wanting to be in a relationship right now.

I’m an 18-year-old woman in a relationship with my boyfriend, who is 19, for nearly three months now. For anonymity, I’ll refer to him as "Mark." We connected through a dating app, and I believe our relationship is generally happy and healthy. However, I'm starting to question whether I want to be in a relationship at all. Mark is very sensitive, which can be challenging for me since I'm battling my own emotions and he often seeks reassurance that I’m not sure I can provide. On top of that, my sexual needs are quite significant, and I've noticed that Mark's feelings about intimacy have shifted since we began dating. I'm still young and eager to explore experiences like threesomes; in fact, I've never even kissed a woman, but I'm keen to try at least once. When we first started dating, I made my intentions clear, and he expressed interest in exploring those options. Lately, however, he’s decided against it, claiming that his feelings for me make sharing difficult. Mark is also relatively inexperienced when it comes to sex. Although he sees himself as dominant and I take on a submissive role, he often seems insecure and hesitant to explore new things. I’m realizing there are many sexual experiences that I doubt he’ll ever want or be able to provide. Putting all of this into words makes me feel guilty, as I do care for him, and I know he cares for me too. Yet I’m uncertain about how to navigate this situation and would greatly appreciate any insights or advice. I’m open to answering any questions for further clarity.

I'm a 23-year-old female and I'm contemplating what steps I should take regarding my boyfriend, who is 29.

Why do the men I date always turn conflicts into a showdown of "I'm right, you're wrong"? I've noticed a recurring theme in my relationships, and I'm starting to question whether I'm attracting a specific type of person or if the issue lies with me. Initially, everything seems wonderful—he treats me well, makes me feel secure, and we begin dating. But when something bothers me and I voice my concerns, he becomes defensive. Instead of engaging in a meaningful conversation, it escalates into a fight with him insisting he's right. Over time, this pattern intensifies—he withdraws, sometimes blocks me, and then returns a month later, acknowledging his mistakes and wanting to restart. I experienced this same cycle with my ex three years ago (whom I chose not to take back), and now I'm facing a similar situation again. For instance, recently I noticed that this guy followed several adult film stars on social media, and when I asked him to unfollow them, he argued that he had done it before we met, turning it into a conflict. It took several requests before he finally complied, even though most of those accounts had been inactive since 2021. It still bothered me, though. Currently, I'm blocked by him, and while I know he has feelings for me, I can't shake the feeling that he takes me for granted because I've returned after our disagreements. We’ve never gone a full month without communication, which has me pondering whether I should distance myself to make him recognize his behavior—similar to what happened with my previous ex. I genuinely want things to work out with this guy, but I also don’t want to keep going in circles. I've been told by various people that I can be intimidating, and I wonder if that factors into this situation. I’d appreciate any insights or advice—am I attracting the wrong individuals, or should I change how I approach things? Notably, both my exes displayed avoidant traits and had a tendency to shift blame, especially when dealing with confrontation. Nevertheless, this current guy does treat me significantly better.

Assistance required

How can I communicate to the guy I'm currently talking to that I'm not interested in being intimate because I don't find him physically attractive? I don't want to come off as harsh or negative; he's a great person, but I'm just not physically drawn to him.

I (18F) asked him (18M) out 😰

I posted yesterday asking for advice on whether I should ask my crush out, and I got some encouragement to go for it. So, I took the plunge 😰 I asked him if he was going to our high school play, and he said he was planning to go alone. I mentioned that all my friends are going with their dates, and I really didn't want to be a third wheel, so I asked if I could join him. He looked at me awkwardly and said, "Hmm... interesting." There was a pretty thick awkward silence before he finally said we could go together. I said thanks and then walked away feeling a bit deflated 😭 After that, we didn’t talk for the rest of class, which is unusual for us. Now I'm left wondering if I made a mistake and if he really doesn't like me or if he was just caught off guard. I hope my approach gave him a chance to back out if he wanted, but I'm not sure 😭 Should I reach out to him or just leave things as they are? ————- TL;DR: Did asking him to the play mess up our friendship?

Is my relationship coming to an end?

I’m an 18-year-old girl and my boyfriend, also 18, and I have been together for a year. At the beginning of our relationship, he was really sweet and always eager to chat with me. However, lately he seems to have become distant—he doesn't talk to me as much, often ignores my calls, and even has his location off for hours at a time. I trust that he isn't cheating, but I'm starting to feel like he’s lost interest in our relationship. We’ve been arguing about trivial things, and he often puts the blame on me. The arguments usually stem from me expressing how his actions are impacting me, but somehow he flips it and accuses me of manipulating or guilt-tripping him. He even compared me to his ex, who wasn't the best person. I’m at a loss about what to do. I don't want to leave him, but I also don’t want to keep feeling hurt. It seems like he’s only really sweet and caring when we're together physically. Should I keep trying to make this work? I could really use some advice.

He [M21] betrayed my trust and continues to demonstrate that he has no qualms about lying to me [F19].

I apologize for the lengthy message—this is my first time posting here, and I wanted to provide all the necessary context. At the beginning of January, my boyfriend cheated on me. While he didn’t sleep with anyone, he did send his ex texts saying, “let’s hook up,” among other things. I discovered this the same night it happened; I could tell something was off when he got home. I checked his phone while he was sleeping, which I had never done before, but I felt compelled to that night. After finding out, I left, but I returned the next morning to talk things over. Despite everything, I still want to make our relationship work because I love him and am six months pregnant with his child. I laid down some ground rules: he had to log into his Instagram accounts on my phone, I needed access to his location at all times, and most importantly, he shouldn’t be drinking since he claimed alcohol was his excuse for what he did. Although he hasn’t completely stopped drinking, he has asked if it’s okay to drink when I’m around. I agreed, but only if I have his phone. My main focus has been finding a way to trust him again, but he’s lied to me more than once since then. Today, I had to visit some family in another city while he went out with coworkers. I simply asked him not to drink. When I asked him afterward, he said he hadn’t, but I felt the need to check after I got home. After he fell asleep, I looked in his wallet and found a receipt proving he had lied. I’m so drained and unsure of what to do. How am I supposed to rebuild trust when he keeps lying to me? He’s asleep next to me now, and I plan to wait until he gets back from work tomorrow to address this, but I’m unsure how to approach the conversation. I don’t want to leave, but he gives me a plethora of reasons to consider it. I could really use some advice.

Navigating a relationship with an avoidant partner as someone with an anxious attachment style.

Hello everyone, I find myself in a challenging situation and could use some guidance. Recent experiences have led me to realize that seeking therapy might be beneficial for addressing my anxious attachment style. I’m a 27-year-old man in a situationship with a 34-year-old woman. We started as friends before deciding to become exclusive, which means we are aware of each other's backgrounds and challenges. I genuinely care for her and put effort into showing my love for our relationship. However, I've recognized that I sometimes self-sabotage, which is part of why I'm now seeking therapy. Our main struggle revolves around communication, especially during uncomfortable discussions where we need to meet halfway. I tend to exhibit an anxious attachment style, while she leans toward avoidant patterns. In conversations, I often start by acknowledging my mistakes before addressing what she's done that contributed to my feelings. Unfortunately, this often leads to defensiveness or stonewalling from her, as it seems to be her way of coping with difficult topics. My aim has always been to navigate our past traumas together. While I once shared her avoidant tendencies, I now strive to be open to discussing uncomfortable matters with her. When I point out her actions, it's not meant as an attack but rather as a plea for accountability. I also acknowledge my faults when she brings them up, taking note to improve upon them. Unlike in my previous relationships, things have become complicated in this one over the past few months. I’ve begun to realize that my anxious attachment might be causing me to feel insecure. When we made the decision to be exclusive, she expressed a desire for me not to engage with other women. I respected that wish, but as time passed, I noticed she maintained contact with her exes, which caused discomfort for me. I’ve voiced my feelings around her flirting with other guys online and communicating with her exes, who she maintains are just friends—despite their romantic interest in her. I understand that I can’t control her choices, but it feels unjust that I invest in our relationship while she seems to do otherwise. Whenever I bring this up, she tends to become defensive, insisting I have no reason to distrust her and that her actions are none of my business. While I see her perspective, I struggle to comprehend why we committed to exclusivity if she intends to act in ways that contradict that agreement. An additional issue arose when she began working with a guy who previously expressed romantic interest in her. I had asked her to inform me when he was present at the gym where she works, especially since we both acknowledged the discomfort this could cause. Two weeks ago, he got hired, and I made the mistake of looking through her phone, where I found messages that seem to undermine our exclusivity. I acknowledge that my actions were wrong, but when she tells me to “not worry about it” or “forget about it,” I can’t help but feel insecure, believing she’s not being fully open with me. I confessed to looking through her phone, which understandably hurt her and led to defensiveness. Since then, I’ve felt uncertain. I’ve respected her requests not to talk to others to prevent causing her hurt, yet she doesn’t recognize that her actions are causing me pain too. I’ve yet to hear her apologize, and I want her to understand my perspective. When we attempt to discuss these matters, she often withdraws and stonewalls me. Recently, I reached out to one of her exes, as he was on her restricted list on Instagram, just to gauge where things stood between them. He indicated that he still had feelings for her and that she misses him. When I shared this with her, she reacted strongly and defensively. I tried to explain my reasoning, stemming from our previous conversations often ending without clarity. Since that discussion, she has seemed more distant, and currently, we’re on a break. Throughout the week, we communicated, and yesterday we attempted to have a serious discussion about our next steps. I’m committed to improving our communication, but during our conversation, she went quiet for two hours while closing at work. Typically, I check in to ensure she’s safe at home, but she didn’t respond until I called again, at which point I felt something was off. I later discovered she had a male friend over, which made me feel uneasy. I expressed that she should have been honest about her company. While I keep her informed about who I’m with, she insists it’s none of my business who she sees, which I agree with but still find odd given our situation. After leaving her apartment, we stayed on the phone for about an hour, during which she expressed frustration, stating that my behavior over the recent months has caused her to distance herself from me. All I want is for us to meet in the middle and communicate openly, like I try to do. At this point, I’m unsure about our next steps. Despite everything, I still have deep feelings for her, but she struggles to recognize where she’s made mistakes and hasn’t shown a willingness to seek professional help or understand the impact of her actions. It’s tough because I think I would feel differently if we weren’t exclusive and she was comfortable talking to other men, but having invested so much time and energy into this relationship, the way I feel is deeply affecting me. I’m frustrated because I want to address these issues without her becoming defensive and lashing out. I apologize for the lengthy message, but I really am at a loss. However, I look forward to starting therapy soon.

Should I (M21) rethink my feelings about her (F21)?

To summarize, both of us entered a relationship during our school years, and it was a really positive experience. We never had any major disagreements or awkward fights. However, due to personal issues within my family, I developed a misunderstanding about our relationship and ended things after graduation. I take full responsibility for that decision. After we went to different universities, we maintained our friendship. A few days later, she expressed a desire to continue the relationship, but I turned her down, which hurt her deeply. Not long after, I regretted my decision and wanted to reconcile, but by then, she had lost hope in me. A few days later, I saw her Instagram story featuring her new boyfriend, and after that, we stopped communicating. Fast forward two years, I've mostly moved on, though I do feel guilty about not being true to our relationship. Since then, I haven't pursued any relationships because I didn't want to waste anyone's time. Yesterday, I received a message from her, and I found myself wondering "why now?" We talked, and she shared that she recently ended her relationship because she can't get over me. She mentioned how her college friends know about us and how fondly she remembers how I treated her during our time together. She admitted that getting into a new relationship was a mistake made out of anger toward me and loneliness, and she now sees that it was an impulsive decision. I'm open to dating again and enjoying our conversations, but I want to avoid making any rash choices. Should I give her another chance? Please share your thoughts on why or why not.

My boyfriend (23) was featured in a viral Facebook group dedicated to cheaters.

There’s been a Facebook group in my city called “Cheaters/Do You Know Him” that’s been making waves lately. Many women are posting about their partners, either to check if they’re unfaithful or to expose someone else’s cheating boyfriend. It’s all quite chaotic, as you can imagine. Recently, my boyfriend got posted on this page. The captions typically ask things like, “Is this your man or ours?” and “What’s the scoop on this guy?” The post only included his initials along with his profile picture. The problem is his Facebook name isn’t his real name; it’s some silly alias. To figure out his identity, someone would need to know his first and last initials. Even at work, his name tag only shows his first name—no initials. When I confronted him about the post, he claimed he had no idea who posted it or why. Unfortunately, the person who posted remains anonymous and hasn’t responded to my inquiries. I’m left wondering if this could be someone from his past checking in, a girl he’s cheating with trying to send me a message, or even someone he’s been talking to behind my back who doesn’t know about me. I doubt it’s just a random girl curious because she thinks he’s attractive. We’ve been together for over a year and live together, which only complicates things more. I’m struggling to decide whether to trust him or not. This situation is all very fresh, and I can’t shake the insecurity that he might be cheating. I would really appreciate any advice—I feel completely lost and unsure of what to do.

My boyfriend (32) told me that he no longer finds me attractive.

For privacy reasons, I created a new Reddit account to ask this question. To keep it brief: I'm 27, and my boyfriend is 32. We've been together for seven years and have two kids. I was in good shape before pregnancy, but I've gained 25 kg and I'm struggling to lose the weight. My boyfriend has repeatedly expressed his dissatisfaction with my appearance, saying I'm not attractive. He claims to love me and stay with me, and that I should be grateful for that. I don’t feel grateful; instead, it makes me feel insecure, and I can't understand how he sees me that way. We've been arguing about this for a long time, and I’m unsure how to move forward. During our fights, he hints at breaking up but then reassures me that he doesn't really want that. I'm trying to lose weight, but I struggle with emotional eating, and his unhappiness makes it even more challenging. Being thin has always seemed to be important to him, which feels like a betrayal since I gained this weight while carrying our children. I know I made poor food choices, but my emotions were all over the place during pregnancy. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is he right? Am I overreacting? Is he being insensitive? I'm feeling really lost right now. I'm 156 cm tall and currently weigh 83 kg.

I caught my boyfriend in a blatant lie.

A few months after moving in together, I discovered my boyfriend (30) on Instagram. I tried to add him and noticed that he mainly followed attractive girls. It was a bit heartbreaking, as it would be for any woman. He claimed he followed them to find outfit inspiration for me, even though none of them resembled me. He later assured me he deleted his account and app, saying I should be pleased that he had no posts. Then, a few months ago, I found him on TikTok. While he wasn't following any attractive women there, he was following an ex-girlfriend, despite telling me he had unfollowed her everywhere. When I tried to add him again, he said he had deleted his account. This morning, we learned that TikTok had been banned in the U.S. He casually said, “Let me check my account to see if it’s true. Oh, I can’t get in.” My heart sank. All this time, I had trusted him, only to realize he might have just blocked me. I don’t understand why he would lie about something like this. Am I wrong for feeling upset and hurt? How can I confront him about the lie? Should I let it go or consider ending the relationship? I really don’t know what to do and don’t have anyone to talk to. Please help.

Is he still interested or not? What would you all do? ❤️

Hey, everyone! I hope you’re all doing well ❤️ I’m really sorry for this long message, so I’ll try to keep it brief. I started seeing someone in the summer of 2023, and we hit it off, messaging each other occasionally throughout 2024, before meeting again that summer. As we spent more time together, it felt like we were building a real connection, and they expressed feeling the same way. However, by winter 2024, I noticed our conversations had dwindled. When I asked if they were still interested, they confirmed they were. But after a few days of silence where I was left on read, I reached out. They had their reasons for the lack of communication, and I understood; I told them it was okay if they no longer wanted to continue. But the gap in our conversations persisted, which led me to overthink and feel anxious. In the heat of the moment, I ended things, which I now realize was a huge mistake. I apologized and gave them space, unaware they were on holiday at the time. Now, we’ve discussed the situation, and they mentioned that I was overthinking, which hurt them. Although I respect their need for space, I can’t shake the feeling that they might not be interested anymore. I’ve shared my thoughts and feelings with them, but I haven’t received a clear answer. I’m trying to give them space while also considering whether to hold onto hope (my anxiety is slowly easing) or accept that they might have lost interest (I still really like them). Am I overthinking this? Do you think they’ve lost interest? What would you do in my shoes? Thank you all! ❤️

I'm a 20-year-old female and I feel that my boyfriend, who is 21, has been acting lazy when it comes to us meeting up.

I saw my boyfriend today after not going on a proper date for about five months. I know it's not entirely his fault, but our schedules often clash. We do see each other regularly, though. He has a day off tomorrow, and while he mentioned being tired and wanting to sleep in, I had already envisioned us spending time together since he had previously mentioned the chance of meeting up. Now, he’s decided to go on a trek with his friends instead and will wake up early for that. It’s frustrating because he seems eager to do that but not to spend time with me. He insists I’m overreacting and points out that we just hung out today, but I can't shake the feeling that I’m justified in feeling disappointed. He has made sacrifices to see me before, so it stings a bit. I’m not against him going on the trek — it’s just that I wish he would show the same enthusiasm for our time together. What should I do? TL;DR

I undermined my partner's trust.

**Seeking Guidance: I Broke My Girlfriend's Trust** I violated my girlfriend’s trust by looking through her photos on the Amazon Prime stick. **TL;DR:** I (34F) invaded my girlfriend’s (42F) privacy by going through her photos, and I feel terrible about it. Is it possible to rebuild her trust? **Backstory:** We’ve been close friends for several years and started dating about 8 months ago. I struggle with bipolar disorder type 2 and severe anxiety. A couple of weeks ago, I had an episode that led to some passive-aggressive comments, resulting in a fight and a subsequent three-day panic attack because she wasn’t speaking to me. Her Amazon Prime stick is connected to my TV, and in a moment of vulnerability, I looked through her photos. I missed her and wanted to feel connected, but I know that's not an excuse for invading her privacy, and I deeply regret my actions. Last night, while we were watching TV, she noticed the app in the recently used section and confronted me about it. Initially, I panicked and tried to deny it, claiming I had no idea how it got there. She became upset, fearing that her kids or mom—who also have access to her Amazon account—might have seen the photos. Unable to maintain the lie, I confessed. The look on her face was heart-wrenching; it was clear I had completely shattered her trust. I didn’t realize how much her privacy meant to her, and I know I’ve made a huge mistake. She thanked me for my honesty but chose to stay in another room at my place that night. This morning, she texted me asking for space and requested that I not try to shift the focus onto my feelings or pressure her to talk. She also canceled our weekend plans that we’d been looking forward to for months. I’m doing my best to avoid self-pity and to honor her need for distance. I just hope someone can reassure me that there’s a possibility for us to move past this and that I can earn back her trust.

I would really appreciate your guidance, as I could use some advice at this stage in my life.

I'm feeling a bit lost regarding a relationship situation, and I could really use some advice. Here’s the story: back in December 2022, at a classmate's birthday party, my best friend and I met his older sister, who is two years my senior. I remember thinking she was stunning and possibly the most amazing girl I’ve ever encountered. I developed a bit of a crush on her, though it didn't feel intense enough to be love at the time. We played tag and had a great time, and afterward, my best friend shared her Discord with me, which led to a group chat that eventually became direct messages. Fast forward to the following year, I'm now at her school with my friend group. The school divides grades for lunch, so we only see each other for about an hour each day, but that little time still makes me happy. Over months, my crush deepened, and I fell in love with her. My social media feed became filled with thoughts of her, and I almost mustered the courage to confess my feelings daily. However, I felt self-conscious—at 5'1" and with an awkward hairstyle, I knew she looked far more put together. Finally, I decided to tell her how I felt. While in my gaming setup, I had a little chat with her on Discord, then revealed my feelings. She kindly said she didn't feel the same way but wanted to remain friends. I was so embarrassed that I suggested we shouldn’t talk anymore. Ironically, we had to sit next to each other in class, making things exceedingly awkward. I avoided eye contact and didn't speak to her for the rest of the year. Now, two years later, we’ve started talking again, but not in the way you might expect. She transferred to another school, and most of our conversations now turn into long-winded arguments on Discord, often about her little brother’s disdain for me. Interestingly, my best friend—her brother—has also distanced himself from me for reasons I still don’t fully understand. As my last year at my school approached and I prepared to join her at her new school, our friendship improved, and we began chatting a lot on Instagram. During winter break, out of the blue, she confessed that she liked me. I was overjoyed, especially because I had just found faith in Christ, which felt like a beautiful gift. This was one of the happiest moments of my life since I was still deeply in love with her. However, after we returned to school, our communication waned, and I found myself waiting for her to message me first. Unfortunately, that rarely happened. A month after winter break, I made a regrettable joke about her little brother, which led her to block me. She has a history of blocking me over trivial things, often alternating between blocking and unblocking over the span of weeks or months. Despite our Instagram fallout, she didn’t block me on Discord. For two days, I messaged her every 30 minutes, but she mostly ignored me until she eventually replied that her notifications were off. While I found that amusing—calling her on Discord rang through—I felt she was being particularly unresponsive. She did unblock me on Instagram, but when I tried sending her a bunch of reels, she just left me on read, which left me feeling really down. When she blocked me again shortly after I sent her a reel on my way home, I started to suspect her little brother might be influencing her decisions. Now, she hasn't unblocked me or responded to my messages on Discord, and I’m unsure what to do next. I’d appreciate any advice from you all. Thank you, and God bless you! Edit: Just to clarify, we won’t be able to date until I join her school, and her family is not fond of me due to her little brother’s negative comments.

Is it crazy for me (30F) to feel like I might not want to be intimate with my husband (30M) anymore?

My husband (30M) and I (30F) have been married for five years, and we recently welcomed our first baby a few weeks ago. It’s been quite challenging, to say the least. While I wouldn’t label it as Postpartum Depression, I've definitely had some really tough days. I’m not sure if my husband has picked up on it since he hasn't mentioned anything. My pregnancy was mostly straightforward, aside from experiencing morning sickness during the first four months. However, I struggled to come to terms with the weight gain. Although the number on the scale didn’t change drastically, my belly expanded rapidly, and it was the first time I faced such a significant change in my body, which started to take a mental toll on me. Again, I don't think my husband noticed since he didn’t say anything. The first few months post-birth were particularly rough because I was so nauseous that I could barely keep down simple foods and drinks. Intimacy with my husband felt out of reach. Once I entered my second trimester, I was eager to connect, thinking my husband was just giving me space because of my sickness. But when I brought up the topic of sex, he would dismiss it. I even tried to be direct about it and sometimes subtly hinted by wearing lingerie, which was a big deal for me since I felt large and uncomfortable in my body. But still, nothing. I kept trying, almost like a lovesick teenager, but by the third trimester, I had given up. Feeling enormous made me think he just wasn’t attracted to me, and he never contradicted that belief, which hurt. I ended up giving birth to our baby a couple of weeks early, and everything went smoothly. The doctors advised taking it easy for at least six weeks, which includes avoiding sex. Recently, I had my six-week check-up, and the doctor confirmed that I was good to go for all activities. I didn’t tell my husband about it. I had jokingly mentioned that if he didn’t touch me during my pregnancy, I wouldn’t let him touch me afterward, hoping it would motivate him, but it didn’t work. Now, my postpartum hormones are out of whack. I feel extremely petty, anxious, a bit depressed, sleep-deprived, and easily irritated. Almost anything he does— or doesn’t do— drives me crazy, and I find myself snapping at him or outright ignoring him. A part of me wants to cling to this pettiness (probably the hormones speaking), while another part longs to leap into his arms. I’m feeling torn between my emotions and my thoughts. I know that any decision I make right now is likely driven by hormonal chaos, but I wish he would recognize that this isn’t normal and that I deeply miss his touch. I'm just feeling lost.

My girlfriend gets upset when we play games, but she never talks to me about it.

My girlfriend (20F) sometimes seems to get easily irritated, especially a couple of weeks after her period ends. We enjoy playing FPS games together, but even after a winning streak, she often ends up feeling moody or frustrated. Sometimes, she'll go on her phone and suggest taking a break to grab some food, which I don't mind since I have other things to do. However, after that, she sometimes refuses to turn on her camera (we're in a long-distance relationship and FaceTime while playing) and talks to me in a sad or annoyed tone. When I ask what's wrong, I usually get responses like "Nothing" or "I'm fine." This leaves me uncertain about whether I've upset her during the game or if she's just hangry. I tend to overthink things due to anxiety and past experiences, which makes this situation even harder for me. I'm just curious whether it's common for women to experience sudden emotional shifts or if being hangry is a real thing. Any advice would be appreciated—thanks!

Boyfriend going overseas with a female friend

**Summary:** I'm a 19-year-old female and my boyfriend, who is 20, and I have been together for nearly three years. We see each other every weekend, as we live in the same hometown, but attend colleges that are a bit apart. My boyfriend has the chance to travel abroad for two weeks through a program his female friend informed him about. She is also applying, and he decided to join in. They previously went to Europe together for an exchange program over the summer, which made me feel jealous since they had made that trip before us. Now, he might go to Asia for two weeks, while I've invited him to visit my home country with my family, who is willing to cover his ticket. Unfortunately, my trip to my home country is scheduled for the same time as the potential Asia trip. If he gets into the program, he'll choose that over coming with me. I can’t shake off the feeling that it’s unfair he’s traveled with her before and could do so again. While I recognize it's an amazing opportunity for him, I'm struggling with the jealousy of him experiencing a different culture with someone else—especially since I've always wanted to travel to Asia with him. How can I manage my feelings and be more supportive instead of feeling jealous?

My girlfriend drinks heavily, and it's affecting our relationship.

My girlfriend (36 years old) and I (22 years old) have been together for about four months. When we first met, she was working as a machinist with long 12-hour shifts. About a month into our relationship, she decided to switch back to her old job as a barber. While she's focused on building her clientele, I've noticed that with her new schedule, she tends to go out 4-5 times a week and drinks heavily each time. On New Year's Eve, she expressed a desire to spend the evening with me at the movies. Unbeknownst to me, her college friends were in town, and she decided to go out with them before joining me. When she finally returned home, she was quite drunk, slurring her speech and being a bit argumentative. I tried to brush it off, but it still upset me, leading to a minor disagreement. When we got to the movies, she fell asleep almost right away, which I found disappointing since it was our first New Year's together. However, I recognized that her friends were visiting, so I chose to let it go. A few weeks ago, she invited me over to make dinner (spaghetti) while she was at work. I agreed and went grocery shopping in preparation. When I arrived, I tidied up a bit and waited to start cooking until closer to when she was due home. She was supposed to finish work around 7 but didn’t come back until after midnight. She explained that she had to drop something off at a friend's bar and ended up staying longer than expected. Because I noticed she was still at the bar through our shared location, I opted not to cook for her. When she finally came home, she was very drunk and immediately got upset upon realizing I hadn’t made dinner. She stormed upstairs and slammed her bedroom door. I felt disheartened because this seemed to be a recurring situation. I tried to talk to her, but she was too inebriated and confrontational, so I went back downstairs, made her spaghetti, and then slept on the couch. Later that night, she sobered up and came downstairs to apologize. I forgave her and tried to move on. Last night, after work, my girlfriend went to play pool at a nearby pub and stayed until around 11:30. She called me on her way home, slightly intoxicated, and immediately started making rude comments. Frustrated, I told her I needed some space to sort through my feelings since it was becoming overwhelming. The next day, I avoided her calls and texts until she reached out again after leaving the pub, apologizing and expressing regret. I called her to discuss what was bothering me, but she said she wanted to have that talk later. I agreed and checked her location, which confirmed my feelings—she was at her friend's bar again after work at 11 PM. I texted her to reiterate my earlier concerns, but I was left feeling confused and drained. This is a lot for me, but I do love her. I'm unsure how to approach her about this without it leading to an argument. Any advice would be appreciated.

CIS F20, FTM 23

My transgender boyfriend has been accusing me of cheating for quite some time now, and I find it really strange. He seems to be overly suspicious, especially considering I've had male friends before we started dating and have since been adding random people just to chat. This has happened while he's had access to my passwords, which he requested to feel more secure in our relationship. I don’t think sending casual selfies to someone is wrong, especially since I removed my male friends from my social media. Despite that, he still suspects me. What’s troubling is that he frequently shows me another woman’s profile on social media, claiming they’re just friends, yet when I ask to see their conversations, he dodges the question. Instead, he tells me he planned to confront me about infidelity because he didn't believe anyone who said I wasn’t cheating, even after seeing my messages. This logic doesn't make sense to me. I’ve always reassured him and included him in my conversations, and at the beginning of our relationship, he didn’t accuse me like this. I really don’t appreciate being put in a position where I have to prove my loyalty when he isn’t doing the same for me. It feels wrong, and I think it reflects a lack of trust. If he knew he wouldn’t reciprocate the transparency I offered, I’m confused as to why he waited so long to acknowledge he has another woman on his social media. I feel sad and hurt by his behavior, and it definitely doesn't seem fair. Just because he’s transgender doesn’t mean he’s above cheating, and yet he continues to get mad at me and twist things around when I ask him about it. He’s been unfairly accusatory without providing any proof of his own, and I believe I have every right to feel upset about the whole situation. To make matters worse, he hasn’t given me any of his passwords or shared the same openness I've shown him. Honestly, it feels like a betrayal, and I’m unsure how to navigate this. I need some perspective on what’s happening.

I'm a 20-year-old female, and my boyfriend is a 20-year-old male. We're currently in a long-distance relationship, and I have a situation to discuss.

My boyfriend and I hardly get the chance to spend quality time together. One day, he’s home alone and has invited me over, but that same day, my best friend from university is throwing her birthday party (not on her actual birthday). I feel torn about which to choose and guilty about letting one of them down. I'm really stuck on what to do!

Is it inappropriate to urinate while showering?

My boyfriend and I have a little wager going—one of us believes it's gross to pee in the shower, while the other doesn't mind it. What are your thoughts?

Hey everyone, I could really use some advice! 😩

Last year, I was dating a wonderful man. We had an incredible first and second date, and after our second outing, we spent the night together (nothing intimate happened). I shared some thoughts that I believe might have overwhelmed him. He later mentioned that I came on too strong, which might have scared him off. Since then, we hadn't really communicated for about four months. At my friend's birthday party, I reached out to him, but I reacted poorly when he didn't want to drive over an hour and a half to pick me up. In a moment of frustration and under the influence of alcohol, I said I would find someone else to meet me, and that ended our conversation. Now, I’ve been working on some past trauma in therapy and was encouraged to apologize to those I may have hurt. I reached out to him, expressing my regrets and thanking him for being honest instead of ghosting me. He responded kindly, just like he did before. He congratulated me on my personal growth and made me smile, which was a nice surprise. It's been three days since that exchange, and I can’t stop thinking about him. I'm unsure how to proceed. I want to avoid coming on too strong again, but I genuinely like him. When we spoke initially, he mentioned wanting to take things slow and see where they led, and I would love a second chance to pursue that. However, I'm unsure of the best approach now. How can I reconnect with him without being overwhelming? What steps can I take to rekindle our connection?

My boyfriend often spends his time outside smoking, in the bathroom, watching TV, or using his phone.

We recently moved in together, but often it feels like I'm living alone since he spends so much time outside smoking, in the bathroom, watching TV, or on his phone. I actually feel lonelier now than I did before we shared a space. He seems oblivious to the situation; I find myself doing many things solo. Often, when I’m still eating, he has finished and heads straight for the TV. The quality time I value is nonexistent, and it’s frustrating because that’s an important love language for me. I don’t like having to ask anyone for their attention, affection, or effort, and I’m surprised that he seems to think this is perfectly normal.

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