Relationship advices

Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 1mo ago

Am I indifferent or confident?

**Summary:** My marriage is facing significant challenges, yet I remain surprisingly calm. How can I tell if I'm genuinely secure in our relationship or simply indifferent? I'm a 32-year-old woman who has been on a personal journey this year after experiencing a minor mental breakdown in May. With the help of a therapist, I’ve been addressing various issues in my life. Initially, I believed that my marriage was the sole positive aspect of my life. Now, six months later, I’m recognizing several aspects of my marriage that bring me unhappiness, which I’ve been suppressing. My husband and I have been together for eight years, married for four. I’ve begun discussing the areas I want to improve with my husband, who is 40. He has reacted calmly, but he has also brought up some of my behaviors that hurt him. I can understand his perspective, though I wouldn’t have reacted the same way. I apologized for causing him pain and am committed to making changes. However, we're delving into serious issues—like a lack of intimacy, feeling uncared for, and feeling unsupported—yet I feel remarkably numb about it all. For instance, when I woke up at 3 a.m. to realize he hadn’t come home, I had to consciously decide to check on him instead of just going back to sleep. I can't determine if I am simply secure and confident we’ll find a way through these problems or if I’m indifferent and accept the possibility of divorce. I would appreciate any guidance on how to navigate this situation.


Trust and Jealousy • 1mo ago

I'm uncertain about how to handle my feelings and I can't determine which choice is more immature.

I've been in a relationship with my 18-year-old girlfriend for six months now. A little while into our relationship, I discovered that she still has feelings for her ex, who is in classes with her at school. Two months ago, I asked her directly if she still liked him, and she replied no, saying she just misses what he could offer her compared to what I can right now. Then, about a month ago, her ex came to school looking sharp with a new haircut, and she admitted that she was attracted to him. It's important to note that he's been a friend of hers for most of her life and is a twin. I'm torn between letting my insecurities and trust issues influence me or having a conversation with her about how I feel. The thought of her still having feelings for him while they talk nearly every day really bothers me, especially since he was somewhat toxic in their past. I know my age might be impacting how I view this situation, but it still hurts to hear that she likes another guy. Should I confront her about it, or just keep trying to navigate through these feelings?


Infidelity • 1mo ago

I'm a 25-year-old female and I haven't been able to get past the album of half-nude pictures (including one of my ex) that I discovered on my boyfriend's phone about six months ago. Any suggestions on how to handle this? :(

Six months ago, I went to make the bed before work and discovered my boyfriend’s old phone hidden under the pillow. We both know each other's passwords, and I had never felt the urge to snoop before, but I found it strange that he had left it there before taking a shower. Curiosity got the better of me, and when I unlocked it, I found an album open with pictures of partially clothed girls. Most of them were "friends" and other women from Instagram, including an ex of his who was fully dressed and kissing another friend— that one hit me the hardest. He had even gone through my phone to take a picture of an old gym photo of me when I was 18. When he got out of the shower, I confronted him, and he burst into tears, apologizing profusely. He got rid of his old phone and deleted his Instagram account altogether. However, I can’t shake the feeling that we hadn’t been intimate in two months, and knowing he was looking at those photos really bothers me— he denies that he was using them for pleasure and claims he doesn’t understand why he had the album in the first place. I had also expressed before how uncomfortable I felt about him following so many scantily clad women on Instagram. Has anyone experienced something similar? I love him deeply, but I struggle to get past what happened and often feel insecure and unattractive because of it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :'(


Infidelity • 1mo ago

My boyfriend may have cheated on me while he was intoxicated.

My boyfriend (M24) told me that he might have cheated on me while he was at a rave on Saturday night. He mentioned there's a 50/50 chance he did because he was under the influence of drugs and “wasn’t himself.” He said his friend gave him what he thought was cocaine, but it ended up being ketamine. He claims he can't remember anything from that night and wants me to forgive him if he did cheat, insisting he would never do something like that when sober. I'm feeling completely lost. We've been together for over five and a half years, and I envisioned a future with him—marriage and kids. Now, I’m grappling with feelings of betrayal, anger, and devastation. My greatest fear has always been being cheated on without knowing it, and he knows this all too well. My previous boyfriend was unfaithful, and now I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare. I can't shake the thought of him being with someone else while he was with me, and it makes me feel sick. He keeps suggesting I shouldn't be this upset because he wasn't in the right state of mind, but he still made the choice to go out and get into that situation. Am I being unreasonable or overly dramatic for considering ending things over this? It feels like a deep betrayal. I’m uncertain about how to proceed and would appreciate any advice.


Long-Term Relationships and Marriage • 1mo ago

Lack of dynamics in a long-distance relationship.

I'm 18 years old and in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, who is 19. We broke up four months ago due to our immaturity. Recently, she reached out to me, and I feel that we've both grown up a bit, so I really want to give our relationship another shot. However, I’d like to ensure we have fun and keep things engaging, even through chat. The problem is that our conversations have become a bit monotonous—just talking about our days, what we did, and how much we miss each other. So, my question is: how can I make our relationship more dynamic and interesting?


Family Conflicts • 1mo ago

Advice on family relationships and sibling dynamics

My brother's girlfriend comes over to our family's house almost every day. Although she rents a room nearby, she stays with us about 3-4 days a week. She doesn’t contribute to anything, from meals to household bills—my family covers all the expenses. She interacts with everyone except me, and I find her behavior rude; I've had a negative impression of her since the beginning. My family is even willing to let her live here and is planning to pay for her upcoming trip with us overseas. As a sibling, am I wrong for disagreeing with this situation? I think it’s important to establish some boundaries. They’ve only been together for less than two years and have had numerous arguments, but that’s their issue. I just wanted to provide some context.


Dating and Starting Relationships • 1mo ago

18-year-old seeking guidance on how to meet and connect with women.

I haven't had much luck with dating. I've connected with a few girls who seemed genuinely interested; we would text every day. However, after a few weeks, that communication dwindled to almost nothing. I'm unsure how to maintain their interest, and I struggle to meet new people. It feels like I'm stuck. I know this might come off as forward, but I really want to be in a relationship, yet it seems like no one is interested in me. How can I become more socially engaged with women? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.


Trust and Jealousy • 1mo ago

The other day, I found myself looking through my wife’s phone...

My wife, 24, and I, 24, have been married for three years. Recently, I decided to check her phone. Before anyone jumps in with comments about privacy and boundaries, let me clarify: our relationship is strong, and this wasn’t driven by suspicion or a desire to find something. We have an open phone policy, which means we can use each other’s phones freely. While browsing her Snapchat, I came across saved messages from some of her past hookups and friends-with-benefits from college (there were 44 in total). I found some photos and videos she had sent, as well as her former premium Snapchat account where she shared nudes to earn extra cash during her college years. Surprisingly, this didn’t bother me; in fact, it was somewhat arousing. She has no idea I went through her phone or what I discovered. Now I’m unsure whether to bring it up or keep it as my secret. TLDR: I found old nudes of my wife that she sent to other guys.


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 1mo ago

My boyfriend, who is 30, may have a tendency towards pornography addiction. I'm 28.

My partner and I have been together for over five years. Recently, we bought a home together, and it feels like we're living the married life. Our relationship has always been very intimate; in the early days, we were intimate about four to five times a week, usually two times per session. I know that things can change over time, but the only significant shift in our relationship is that we now live together. We both still have the same jobs and schedules, with no additional stressors that could be affecting his sex drive. However, over the past few months to a year, our intimacy has drastically decreased to maybe twice a month, if I'm lucky. I've talked to him about it, asking if he thinks it could be related to his testosterone levels or if I’ve done something wrong. He insists that it’s not either of those things. I’ve caught him multiple times browsing porn sites and other adult pages, so I know he’s still engaging in self-pleasure. I've jokingly mentioned that he can find time for that but not for us, and he usually just laughs it off, saying we’ll make time tomorrow. I can't help but feel overlooked and unattractive, almost like a toy that has been put away. It’s puzzling to me that he would choose to watch a couple of videos instead of sharing a real intimate experience with me. It really hurts and frustrates me to be in this situation right now. I'm worried that this could be a glimpse of what happens in marriages, or worse, that he might have fallen out of love with me or is interested in someone else (though I believe I would notice that). Normally, I'm good at reading his feelings, but I’m completely lost right now. What should I do?


Communication Problems • 1mo ago

What did he give me?

So, based on what he said, they are: “Technically tangible.” It’s an experience. We're heading to a place that's not particularly exciting, and it's on the Las Vegas Strip. Sort of. We’ve never talked about it before, so I’m puzzled as to why he believes I'll be thrilled. What did he get for me? Curiosity can be dangerous.


Breakups and Divorces • 1mo ago

I'm a 19-year-old female, and I'm starting to lose feelings for my boyfriend, who's 20. Should I break up with him or wait it out?

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. We started as good friends in high school and eventually began dating. We both attended community college, and now I've transferred to my dream university. Since my school is local, we're not in a long-distance relationship, but it feels like we might as well be. He is truly amazing—one of the best partners I could ask for. He loves me deeply, treats me with kindness, and for over two years, my feelings for him were incredibly strong. However, since starting university in September, our time together has decreased, and our conversations have become less frequent due to our busy schedules. I find myself not missing him like I used to when we weren’t hanging out, and sometimes I feel annoyed when I receive his texts and don’t feel like responding. He hasn’t done anything wrong, so I feel guilty for my feelings, but I’m beginning to wonder if I still love him. I know that if you fall out of love, the right thing to do is to break up, but that would hurt us both deeply. He doesn’t have many close friends and views me as his main support, especially during tough times. I worry about how he would handle a breakup, given his self-esteem issues. Plus, I’m anxious about regretting my decision later on since he plans to transfer to my university next year, and I wouldn’t want him to rethink that choice—it’s a great school for his major. I’m considering two options: ending our relationship now to avoid stringing him along or waiting to see if my feelings change, as they might just be a reaction to the stress of a new school. I really need some advice!


Communication Problems • 1mo ago

My Girlfriend (45F) Keeps Giving Me Wedgies (18M)

For context, she is my mom’s former colleague, and we began chatting after I turned 18, so there's nothing inappropriate about our relationship. Over the past six months, she's taken to sneaking up behind me and giving me wedgies, which means she pulls my underwear up into my backside. I've asked her to stop multiple times, but she hasn’t listened. I realize it may sound trivial, but she’s significantly taller and stronger than I am—5’11 compared to my 5’4. What would be an effective way to express that this bothers me?


Sexual Problems and Intimacy • 1mo ago

Obvious object of desire: when to walk away.

I'm a 34-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 35. We've been together for two years, and I’m currently pregnant. Unfortunately, my sex drive has completely diminished, and intimacy has become painful for me. Despite knowing how I feel, my boyfriend insists on having sex. I used to give in and just lie there, but it left me feeling degraded and less attracted to him, as if I were merely a sexual object. Recently, I've been firm about saying no. We've had open discussions about it, and he admits that he feels frustrated and deprived. I told him that I've never felt obligated to have sex in a relationship before. He seemed surprised that my previous partners didn’t cheat on me. Now I'm left wondering if I should end this relationship. I’m expecting a child with him and I also have another child from a previous relationship with whom he shares a close bond. Should I stay for the sake of the kids and hope he changes his mindset? I’ve raised concerns about what would happen if one of us faced an illness that prevented sex, but he just brushes it off. His perspective seems immature to me, and I don’t want to be with someone who views me solely as a sexual partner, nor do I want a relationship that centers around sex.


Parenting and Raising Children • 1mo ago

Guidance

I'm on a date with my ex at the movies, and we're trying to rekindle our relationship. So far, the date has been going well. While watching the film, she brings up her son, mentioning that he doesn’t like to leave the house. I suggest it’s probably because he has a PS5 at home and feels more comfortable there; I can relate since I was a kid once too. Then she adds, “I wish he would leave the house sometimes, so I could have company over.” I can’t help but feel that she might be referring to someone other than me, which is strange since I've spent time with her both with and without her kid. Am I overthinking this, or is there something more to it?


Infidelity • 1mo ago

finding it hard to accept his truths

To sum it up: I was single with a child after two long-term relationships that ended unsuccessfully. I thought I would have to settle for someone who was merely “acceptable.” All I wanted was a man who could be faithful, wasn’t an alcoholic, and didn’t belittle me—seemed like a reasonable request. Then, I met a man and fell for the version of him he presented. After five months of getting to know each other and merging our lives, we got engaged. Just a week into our engagement, I discovered I was pregnant, but sadly, I miscarried shortly thereafter. I felt heartbroken and let down, but my fiancé supported me completely during that time. Fast forward to six months later: I took another pregnancy test and felt a wave of happiness—until I found out that three months into our relationship, he had cheated on me. It wasn’t just emotional; it involved sex with another woman and sharing explicit messages with several others. This revelation made me question how well I really knew him. I reached out to the other woman for details, but unsurprisingly, she didn’t respond. We had a conversation where I expressed my feelings of distrust, but I was willing to try to move forward. A month later, I learned that the other woman had contacted him to inform him I had reached out. His reaction shocked me: “If you talk to her, please tell her it was just one time.” Finding that text led me to question why he felt the need to plead with her if it were indeed the truth. He maintained his stance, and that’s where things stood. Just two days after uncovering this information, I had another miscarriage. When I first discovered his infidelity, my instinct was to focus on our pregnancy and think about staying together for the child. I realize now that my past experience, staying in an unsatisfactory relationship for the sake of a child, influenced that impulse. Despite his claims of honesty, he hid the fact that the other woman reached out to him, and he even called her to instruct her on what to say to me. I've caught him in lies that date back to before our first date. In conclusion, trust is elusive for me now. I doubt I’ll ever believe it was just a one-time mistake, no matter how many reassurances he gives. I’m at a crossroads—either I accept being with someone capable of causing me such pain and who still can’t be truthful, or I risk upheaving my life. I’m struggling with this decision, as I don’t want to become a martyr in my marriage. Is it possible for me to move past this uncertainty?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 1mo ago

(19M) I've developed feelings for a friend (18F) I recently met at a school seminar. Over the past two weeks, I've sensed a strong connection between us, and I believe she might feel the same way. Should I express my feelings to her?

She (18F) and I (19M) met at a seminar at school, and by the last day, we really clicked. Since then, our relationship has been wonderful. I invited her out three days later to play badminton and just have a good time, and we genuinely enjoyed ourselves—no awkward moments, just the pleasure of each other's company. That's also when I started to feel attracted to her, as I’d never met anyone who appreciated my company quite like she does. Now, I'm torn about whether or not to express my feelings. Honestly, I'm not ready to officially pursue a relationship yet, but I don't want her (or myself) to think I'm only interested in friendship. I really want something deeper, but considering we've only known each other for about two weeks, it feels a bit premature. I’m thinking of telling her on our next outing that I’m attracted to her but not ready to court her yet since we don’t know each other well enough and I need more time. Should I go ahead and tell her this, or should I hold off? I'm nervous about her reaction, and I might be overthinking her feelings toward me. What should I do?


Dating and Starting Relationships • 1mo ago

I'm looking for assistance with my relationship situation.

I'm a 24-year-old guy, chatting with a 24-year-old woman. We've been seeing each other for about a month. The first two weeks were fantastic—we texted constantly, spent a lot of time together, and had plenty of flirtation. We discussed our views on relationships and discovered how much we aligned on what partners should be to each other. She mentioned that she had never liked anyone as much as she likes me and enjoys our time together. We went on three dates without sharing a kiss. She's never had a boyfriend before but has been intimate with one person. She wanted to take things slowly, which I was perfectly okay with since I have substantial relationship experience. After our third date, we decided to go get a Christmas tree as a sort of fourth outing. Once we brought it back to my place and settled on the couch, I leaned in to kiss her. Though a bit nervous since it had been over a year since her last kiss, she kissed me back. We hugged to ease the tension, and then a minute later, we shared another kiss—this one was incredible and felt like we were making out. She expressed how happy she was that I kissed her, saying she was planning to do it if I hadn't. As it was time for her to leave—I had to get to work—we shared another kiss in the elevator and said goodbye. Everything felt fantastic, and we texted all night about the amazing kisses and butterflies we both felt. We made plans for the next day to watch Christmas movies, decorate the tree, and attend a lantern festival about an hour and a half away. The next morning, she messaged me saying we should skip the festival because it would be too cold and too far away. I was a bit disappointed but still excited to see her and watch movies. When she arrived, something felt off. I opted for a hug instead of a kiss. After we set up the tree, I suggested visiting a Christmas light display afterward since it would be closer. She said maybe but that we needed to talk first. Then she told me, "I think we need to be friends." My heart sank. We talked through her reasons: she felt things were moving too fast, wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and wanted to just be friends—no kissing or flirting, but we could still hold hands and cuddle. We spent a few hours hanging out, cuddled up on the couch watching movies, while I fought back tears. It felt so right between us, and I couldn't understand why she wanted to step back. Now, about two weeks have passed. She's brought up the "friends" thing several times, yet we still cuddle and hold hands when we're together. She has expressed being scared and mentioned she's a "friends to lovers" type of person. I'm left feeling confused and somewhat hurt, questioning if I’m just a way for her to enjoy free dates or if she genuinely intends to be friends until she feels ready for a relationship. I want to continue pursuing her, but I'm unsure whether to strictly act as a friend or to maintain some level of romantic or flirty behavior. I could really use some advice.


Trust and Jealousy • 1mo ago

I (M20) often feel like I'm always in second place to my girlfriend's (F19) friend.

I need to express something that’s been weighing heavily on me. My girlfriend has a male friend who seems to be consistently present for all her significant “firsts.” Whether it’s trying out new activities, visiting special places, or even celebrating small milestones, he’s often the person she shares those experiences with first. For instance, she recently wanted to try out a new activity, and instead of us experiencing it together, she chose to do it with him. This isn’t the first time this has occurred. I try to make an effort, yet it always feels like he’s one step ahead. He makes grand gestures and plans for her, and is simply...always around. I know they’re just friends, and I trust her, but it still hurts. It feels like no matter how hard I try, I’ll always be in second place when it comes to these significant moments in her life. I want to be the one she shares those experiences with, but it often seems like I’m not. I’m not angry; I’m just sad. It makes me feel inadequate, as if I’m not the partner she needs for those “special” occasions. I understand that relationships are not a contest, but it’s difficult not to feel this way when it’s a recurring issue. I’ve tried discussing it with her, but it always seems to get brushed aside, only to resurface later. I don’t want to come off as jealous or controlling; I just feel lost. How can I stop feeling overshadowed by him? How can I find a way to make peace with this situation? I appreciate you taking the time to read this. I just needed to share what’s been on my mind.


Toxic Relationships • 1mo ago

My boyfriend (M23) playfully teases me (F21)?

I've been seeing this guy for a few months now, and he's always been incredibly sweet. He goes out of his way for me, showers me with compliments, and makes me feel special—essentially the ideal boyfriend. We've never had an argument, and our communication about any concerns has been great. However, there's been something concerning lately that I've hesitated to bring up with him. It started a few days ago when he kept playfully slapping my leg. Then, he did this thing where he shaped his hand like a claw and slammed it down on my thigh. It was painful, and I felt like it could leave bruises. I had to ask him to stop about three times. A day or two later, while we were drinking with friends, he removed the rubber tips from my crutches and threw them at me—keeping in mind that I have a broken foot and he has been helping me a lot. The hard tips hit my face and upper body, which wasn't pleasant at all. I jokingly asked, "Why do you like hurting me?" but he just walked away. Today, while we were sitting on the couch, he charged into me, and my side hit the wooden frame beneath the cushion. My ribs still hurt from it. When I told him it hurt, he replied with, "What are you going to do about it?" I said, "I guess just be in pain." Then he went to grab our food. When he dropped me off at home, he playfully punched my arm, and we went back and forth for a bit until he stopped. I'm feeling unsure about the whole situation. I don't want to be overdramatic, but I never imagined he could be physically aggressive. I’ve been in a physically abusive relationship before, and I'm worried about the similarities in how those situations started. I could use a second opinion on this.


Breakups and Divorces • 1mo ago

Do men overlook good women?

We ended our relationship last night on amicable terms. Though we had our reasons for breaking up, we both feel content with the decision. Unfortunately, our differing beliefs mean we can’t be together in the future. It’s not a bad thing; we made this choice for our own good, and I’m proud of the maturity we showed by parting ways before any wounds could deepen. When we started dating two months ago, I was the supportive partner who listened and helped him, even though I wasn’t fully prepared for a relationship. I took the risk of not breaking his heart, and while I don’t regret it, I’ve always been the one trying to be perfect for him. I used to apologize before going to bed, in case I’d upset him. I hope I don’t sound like I’m complaining, but I really did strive to be the ideal partner—fun-loving, always laughing, and celebrating moments like his birthday. He often told me I brought him peace, and I made sure he never felt sad or hurt. When we decided to end things on good terms, he seemed calm, though I noticed he was upset and even cried in front of me. My biggest fear is that he’ll forget me easily. It often feels like men don’t forget the ones who hurt them, but I was never that person for him. I wanted to be the one who made him feel a little pain over my absence, but I simply can’t do that. I’m someone who enjoys being a source of peace for others, not their source of distress. Yet, I know I struggle to forget those who have hurt me; it's part of human nature. So, will he truly forget me easily? I wonder if he’ll ever remember how good I was to him. He’s not the type to overlook someone’s kindness, but we often remember negative experiences more than the positive ones. Will he reflect on how he felt comforted in my embrace, or will he only remember the pain caused by his past relationships? I’d really like to know.


Trust and Jealousy • 1mo ago

I'm unsure if my girlfriend is keeping something from me...

I'm a 20-year-old female, and my girlfriend, also 20 and female, and I both share our TikTok content. Throughout our one-year relationship, we've been open about checking each other's phones. Recently, I was about to switch to her secondary TikTok account (she has one where she posts regularly and another that she doesn't use), when I noticed a different account that I was already aware of from months ago. At the time, it had no posts or followers. However, when I checked it again, it had gained around 500 likes and some followers. I was intrigued, but the only post on that account had been set to private. It followed a trend called "seeing the TV glow." One comment sought clarification on the meaning of the TikTok, and someone replied that it was related to being transgender. My girlfriend liked those comments that connected to being transgender and dismissing it. One of her comments mentioned that it took her a lot of courage to share the post. The content seemed to express that while she feels comfortable with who she is now, she still occasionally experiences that "glow." What puzzles me is that she never mentioned any of these feelings to me, yet she chose to share them on TikTok. I was planning to approach it casually by asking, "Hey, I noticed your account has 500 likes but no posts. Why didn’t I see anything?" However, when I tried to look up her account to take a screenshot of the likes and followers, it didn’t appear. The username I used was correct, which implies she may have blocked me from seeing the account before she posted anything. If I'm not mistaken, I think I used to follow that account too. Now, I'm at a loss on how to bring this up with her. She has gotten upset with me in the past for checking my phone, but I'm not angry; I’m just confused. Why wouldn’t she share something like this with me, and why block me? I thought we were completely open with each other about everything, even the things we found hard to say. It feels odd that she felt unable to talk to me about this. I’m not entirely sure what I'm seeking in terms of advice, but any thoughts or perspectives would really help.


Toxic Relationships • 1mo ago

My boyfriend, who is 20, wants to take a 3-month break after I, a 19-year-old female, called him a bad boyfriend during a heated argument.

My partner and I had an argument a few days ago because he brought up someone I can't stand. I told him how I feel, but he insisted he wouldn't cut ties with them, even though we’ve been together longer than he’s known this person. He said he would never end a friendship just because I dislike them. This individual has tried to interfere in our relationship several times. In the heat of the moment, I ended up calling him a bad boyfriend, which I now regret, especially since it led him to suggest we take a break. For some background, he has called me names when drunk and accused me of being insecure when I expressed discomfort about his friendship with someone he used to like. Additionally, he often does the bare minimum in our relationship while I put in a lot more effort, and he has admitted that I'm more invested than he is. I know I deserve better, yet I still love him deeply and feel uncertain about what to do. He is the first person I’ve felt this way about, and he was so different at the start. How can I move on from this?


Breakups and Divorces • 1mo ago

Is it time to end my relationship with my girlfriend?

I’m a 28-year-old man in a relationship with my girlfriend, who is 22, for about a year. It seems clear that she’s thinking about a future together, possibly marriage, but I’m not on the same page. This is my first relationship, so I lack experience. I’ve made some impulsive choices in the past, which makes me question whether I should trust my instincts or wait to see if my feelings evolve. I’m finishing my Master's degree this upcoming spring and am considering potential job opportunities that might require relocation. My girlfriend has faced some trauma around Christmas, and the thought of adding to that by breaking up with her just before the holiday makes me feel terrible. I haven't brought this up with her yet. Should I discuss how I feel, or is it better to end things now so we can both move forward?


Breakups and Divorces • 1mo ago

I could use some advice on how to handle my situation with my ex. Any suggestions would be appreciated!

I haven't had any contact with my ex for the past six months. Recently, she broke up with her boyfriend, so I decided to reach out. We've been chatting for a few days now, but she doesn't want anyone to know we're talking. She mentioned that a lot of her friends have issues with me, which could cause drama. On top of that, she's talking to another guy but claims she doesn’t want to get into a relationship with anyone. Still, she wants to keep speaking to both that guy and me in secret. I'm feeling confused about what to do, especially since we were together for a year and a half, and I still have strong feelings for her. Any advice would be appreciated.


Breakups and Divorces • 2mo ago

Developing feelings for someone new while attempting to move on from a past relationship.

It's been a year since my four-year relationship ended, and every day since has felt like a challenge. I can hardly believe it's been this long. The breakup was intensely painful, and not a single day goes by without thoughts of him and the sorrow he left behind. I've prayed countless times to let him go and move forward, but it hasn’t been an easy process. In the midst of this struggle, Phil, a friend from high school, came back into my life. We had already reconnected before my relationship fell apart, but he became my anchor in the aftermath. We bonded over our shared experiences of heartbreak and many other topics, and he turned into my pillar of support when I felt like I couldn’t rely on anyone else. The loss of mutual friends with my ex made Phil's friendship even more significant to me. As time went on, Phil and I grew exceptionally close. With him, everything feels effortless—comfortable and safe. We share so many laughs, and it’s been a long time since I experienced that kind of joy. However, I’ve started developing feelings for him, and that scares me. Given what I went through, the prospect of opening my heart to someone again, even someone as wonderful as Phil, feels risky. I’m terrified of losing him, too. I don't intend to admit my feelings anytime soon. The fear of losing yet another close friend outweighs everything else. Still, I'm struggling to figure out how to handle this situation. Oddly enough, despite everything my ex put me through, a part of me still holds onto love for him—the connection was so deep, and he was my first love. When I like Phil, I feel guilty, even though I know it’s not wrong. I also question whether Phil likes me back; there's chemistry sometimes, but I'm hesitant to let myself feel it fully. I've started to distance myself from Phil, though I worry that might hurt him. What should I do?