Relationship advices: Communication Problems

How can I express my regret without actually saying the words "I'm sorry"?

My boyfriend (19M) and I (18M) have a really close and fantastic relationship, and we just celebrated our four-month anniversary. However, there are times when he gets annoyed, irritated, or quiet if something goes wrong at work, home, or elsewhere. When I do something that bothers him, I often try to apologize, but he responds with comments like, "You should know by now I dislike apologies." This leaves me at a loss for words—I just don’t know how to respond beyond saying I'm sorry. It's a tough situation for me, and it tends to make me shut down. I've asked him what he'd prefer I say instead, but he also doesn’t seem to have an answer. Any advice would be appreciated!

I'm seeking guidance.

I'm a guy (18M) and she's a girl (18F), and I need some advice. At first, everything was great, but she's changed a lot. She's started lying to me, and she doesn't give me much attention anymore. I often feel unsure; she acts like she doesn't like me, but at the same time, it seems like she does. When we hang out, she's usually on her phone or asleep, and I find myself begging for just a little bit of her attention. I'm wondering if she still loves me.

My girlfriend didn't seem to care about the one thing I requested for Christmas. Am I overreacting?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about a year now, and I've noticed that she's not particularly great at giving gifts. It’s not about being materialistic; rather, she tends to lack thoughtfulness when it comes to choosing gifts or doing something meaningful for me, despite my efforts to be considerate with hers. This year, understanding that she's been low on funds, I told her not to worry about getting me anything. The only thing I truly wanted was for her to play my favorite video game with me. It's a cherished part of my childhood, and sharing that experience felt significant to me. She agreed, but when we finally sat down to play, she was negative the entire time, only lasted about 15 minutes, and then wanted to move on to something else. I tried to overlook it, but honestly, it was disappointing. It wasn't really about the game; I just wanted to share something important to me with her, and it felt like she couldn't even make an effort to engage for more than a few moments. When I mentioned it later, she brushed it off as if it didn’t matter. Now I’m left wondering if I’m overreacting or if this points to a deeper issue in our relationship. Would this be a deal-breaker for you?

Disagreements between husband and wife

My husband feels that I disrespected him, but he won’t allow me to clarify what I meant. I never intended to offend him. We used to share jokes in a lighthearted way, but I realize now that I chose the wrong moment to make a joke, especially given the changes in our lives. I didn’t realize it would upset him; it seems like no matter what I say, it ends poorly, and if I stay silent, that's not right either. I’ve noticed that even my good intentions often lead to misunderstandings. He has disrespected me on several occasions, and I’ve chosen to keep quiet because he has been grieving and working on his mental health. He’s previously told me that I'm just expected to handle everything when he's having a tough time, despite my own struggles with postpartum depression for the past two years. I’ve been trying to support myself while managing the demands of homeschooling our four-year-old and taking care of our two-year-old and six-month-old. Now, he’s saying it’s my fault for not speaking up, accusing me of being selfish for staying quiet. He claims he doesn’t want a silent partner, and I’ve been unsure how to communicate without triggering an argument. I often felt it was better to keep my thoughts to myself to avoid causing him more stress. Despite all this, he won’t let me explain my perspective. He insists that there’s no need to discuss things further and claims he’s not surprised by my disrespectful comments. He says he needs space but then avoids talking about our issues. When we do communicate, it seems my explanations don’t satisfy him and he perceives me as blaming him. I’m at a loss for what to do. He refuses to go to therapy and disapproves of me talking to others about our issues. What should I do now?

I (28F) ended up in tears because my significant other (26M) forgot to get me a birthday gift. How would you respond in this situation?

Last Friday was my birthday, and my significant other had been working night shifts, finishing at 6 AM. When he came home, he wished me a happy birthday, and we chatted briefly before he had to run some errands and sleep, which I totally understand after a long night. I jokingly remarked, "Make sure you get a birthday card," thinking he would have already picked one up. He went straight to bed and woke up around 4 PM while I continued working from home. I had to step out to run some errands before heading to my mom's for the night since we had plans for the morning. When I returned home, there was still no sign of a card or anything. I went ahead and bought my own birthday cake because I wasn’t about to let my birthday pass without one. Yesterday, I brought this up after waiting to see if he would do something, and when he didn’t, I finally said something. He explained that he was really tired and forgot to get anything. I’ve always considered myself low maintenance; I prefer gifts with meaning over expensive ones. But I wonder if I’ve given the impression that I don’t want anything at all. I pointed out that he could have at least grabbed a cheap card or some flowers, and he responded, "You have flowers in your vase," even though they were practically dead—something anyone can see since we live together. To make matters worse, a little over a month ago, I started a new job, and when he attended a party, he didn’t wish me good luck beforehand or even afterward until I brought it up. I’ve always been laid-back, and now I’m starting to wonder if that leads people to think they don’t need to put in any effort. I’ve cried for two days over this situation. It's not about the gift itself; it's the thought behind it that matters. Adding to my feelings, my friend, who is two days younger than me, mentioned how her partner made her feel special, which made me feel even worse. And here I am, crying all over again.

I sense that my thoughts and opinions aren't valued or considered.

Hello, Reddit community. I've been in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend (f33) for over a year now, and we've shared countless happy moments together. I've never felt this kind of love before. However, there's one issue that bothers me: my girlfriend often interrupts me mid-sentence to say she already knows what I'm trying to explain, and her tone can come off as irritated. This happens even when I’m discussing simple things like my favorite movie. It feels like she views me as not very smart. I’m unsure how to address this without upsetting her or making her feel defensive, but I genuinely feel like my intellect isn’t being respected.

My husband [28M] and I [27F] are having difficulties with task management and communication. Is there a way to improve this?

Hello everyone, I'm seeking advice on how to manage tasks and communication within my relationship. Here's some context: I’m a 28-year-old man currently studying abroad, while my wife, who is 27, is working in Canada to support my education. She is very caring towards my family, and they adore her in return. She is also an independent individual with considerable work experience from our home country. Lately, we've been facing some challenges regarding small tasks and the sharing of advice. For instance, prior to my arrival in Canada, I reminded her several times—probably around 20—to contact her manager for a Job Experience letter. It took her two weeks to finally make that call. She has acknowledged that she tends to procrastinate. When I follow up on these tasks, she often feels overwhelmed and expresses that I’m adding too much pressure. She also points out that she doesn’t assign me tasks or offer me advice. I’m a bit perplexed about whether I should allow her to handle things at her own pace or if I should guide her decisions as we plan for our future. Ultimately, I find myself questioning the essence of our partnership when we both have the freedom to make our own decisions. What does that mean for our relationship as husband and wife?

I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Recently, an old acquaintance of mine from a past talking stage has ended up in jail. We had stopped talking about 4 or 5 months ago, but we managed to stay friends. A few months back, he mentioned that he had a girlfriend, which led us to talk less frequently. I was perfectly okay with this since I had entered a relationship as well. However, I received a call from him recently (from jail), and he informed me that he and his girlfriend had broken up. Apparently, the breakup happened because she saw messages from him expressing his love for me from months earlier, and he seemed to blame me for their split. At the end of our conversation, he mentioned that he would likely be calling frequently just to chat, and this is where my dilemma arises. I have no desire to engage in constant communication with him—or any communication at all, really—especially since I've moved on. I’m also concerned that he will overstep boundaries, as that’s his tendency. Is it wrong for me to block his number and decide not to speak with him again?

Did I overreact when my girlfriend playfully hit me in front of her friends?

I'm feeling really confused and could use some advice. My girlfriend (22F) playfully hit me (22M) in front of her friends after I teased her a bit. Last night, she hosted a birthday party with all her friends, and it was a blast. She's a huge fan of a goofy movie, and we've always joked about her obsession with it. While we were hanging out, I was making fun of the movie, and she playfully punched my shoulder. It didn't hurt at all, but her friend next to her looked shocked and waved her off afterward. I understand it was meant in good fun, but I find it disrespectful to be hit, even playfully, especially in front of others. I grew up in a loving household where my parents never laid a hand on each other, even in jest, and they taught us that physical reactions aren’t acceptable, regardless of the intent. The rest of the night, I felt a bit off, and after her friends left, she noticed something was bothering me. I told her I was surprised by her hitting me; while it didn’t hurt, it just felt off and disrespectful towards a partner. She ended up having a breakdown and felt terrible about it, which was really upsetting. She said it was completely inexcusable, especially given all the things I do for her in our relationship. To add some context: I do put a lot into our relationship, and while I'm happy to support her, I get frustrated when she’s late to things. After all I did to help her prepare for the party, it felt inconsiderate to be hit, even playfully. She really panicked and said she feels like she gives so much less in this relationship and that she's overwhelmed with school. She expressed doubts about why I treat her so well and doesn't feel like she’s "girlfriend material" for me. Honestly, I wasn't that upset about the incident; it just bothered me and felt slightly disrespectful. I’m not angry at all, but her extreme reaction and guilt make me question whether I have the right to feel this way. Our relationship is typically filled with love and affection, and I’m fully committed to her. It just hurts to see her so upset, especially when I didn't do anything wrong.

Am I Ready to End My Relationship with My Girlfriend?

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend (22F) for some time now, and lately, I've sensed that she might be distancing herself from me. I'm unsure if I'm just overanalyzing the situation or if there's genuinely something wrong, but it's been weighing heavily on my mind. To give some background, I have a complex history with relationships and friendships; I've faced exclusion and betrayal from people I trusted, leading me to be particularly sensitive to changes in behavior. Additionally, I deal with PTSD and severe anxiety, which I'm actively addressing, but this complicates my ability to manage emotional distance. Recently, she seems more remote. She takes longer to reply to my texts, cancels plans more frequently, and appears less engaged when we're together. When I attempt to discuss it, she either brushes it aside or insists everything is fine, but her actions suggest otherwise. It feels like she’s gradually slipping away, and I'm left wondering if I've done something wrong, if she’s losing interest, or if she’s dealing with something she won’t share. It's important to mention that she's facing challenges, including rejections from grad programs, which I know are taking a toll on her. While I don’t want to resent her for spending more time with friends, it makes me feel sidelined. It’s particularly frustrating since this is our last semester of college, and I expected us to make the most of our time together before everything changes. Instead, it feels as if she’s already moving on. I’ve always been the type to invest my whole heart into relationships, and I’d rather not cling to something that might no longer exist. However, I also don’t want to walk away from something that could potentially be repaired with a bit more patience. Right now, I feel caught in a limbo, uncertain whether to fight for this relationship or to let it go. How can you tell when it's time to end a relationship? How do you differentiate between someone needing space and someone who is pulling away for good?

My boyfriend raised his voice at me, and I’m unsure how to process it. I could use some advice.

Today wasn't the best day for my boyfriend. Something triggered his anxiety about a physical issue he often worries about. Due to past trauma, he tends to be avoidant and self-conscious about his appearance. Earlier, someone made a comment that unsettled him, and while he shared it with me, he quickly shut down the conversation when I tried to reassure him, indicating that he didn’t want to discuss it further. I gathered that he was feeling unwell because of it. As the evening went on, we spent time together, though he was somewhat withdrawn and didn’t feel like talking or engaging in much. Towards the end of the night, I approached him to check in as I noticed he seemed to be pulling away. When I asked what was on his mind, he replied that he didn’t know, and when I speculated it might be about his hair, he said, “think so.” That response left me confused; it felt uncertain, and I often struggle with nuances of communication, like sarcasm. Wanting clarification, I asked, “What do you mean? Is there something else?” He replied with “yeah,” but my anxiety grew, leading me to feel a mental fog settle in, sensing that there was more beneath the surface. Earlier in the night, we'd exchanged kisses and hugs, even though he seemed reserved. However, towards the end, when I suggested cuddling, he responded with “I don’t know,” which triggered my anxiety—I’m naturally a nervous person. I tried to express my confusion over his earlier response since “think so” implied uncertainty. This led to him getting upset, telling me he was “pissed off” and that he had been trying to be patient with me. When I tried to explain my feelings, he raised his voice in exasperation, prompting me to apologize for my confusion, even though I wanted him to know that I wasn’t trying to make it about myself. He said, “I think so,” in agreement with my question, and added that it wasn’t his fault I didn’t understand the meaning behind his words. He felt like I was making the situation about me, and he was unhappy that I had provoked him to yell. Despite his frustration, he offered some comfort, saying, “Apology accepted, but I’m done for tonight,” and that he would see me the next day. Now, I’m left feeling confused. I know that dealing with an anxious person while managing your own mood can be challenging, and I empathize with his feelings of frustration. He seems aware of how his yelling affects the situation, but he tends to be very matter-of-fact and blunt. When upset, he tends to withdraw to avoid further conflict, while I prefer to sort things out since I’m emotionally sensitive and understanding. I’m seeking advice on how to navigate this situation. Please be gentle. TL;DR: My boyfriend got upset when I became anxious because he shut down emotionally, yelled at me, and now I'm feeling confused.

I'm a 23-year-old female and I'm contemplating what steps I should take regarding my boyfriend, who is 29.

Why do the men I date always turn conflicts into a showdown of "I'm right, you're wrong"? I've noticed a recurring theme in my relationships, and I'm starting to question whether I'm attracting a specific type of person or if the issue lies with me. Initially, everything seems wonderful—he treats me well, makes me feel secure, and we begin dating. But when something bothers me and I voice my concerns, he becomes defensive. Instead of engaging in a meaningful conversation, it escalates into a fight with him insisting he's right. Over time, this pattern intensifies—he withdraws, sometimes blocks me, and then returns a month later, acknowledging his mistakes and wanting to restart. I experienced this same cycle with my ex three years ago (whom I chose not to take back), and now I'm facing a similar situation again. For instance, recently I noticed that this guy followed several adult film stars on social media, and when I asked him to unfollow them, he argued that he had done it before we met, turning it into a conflict. It took several requests before he finally complied, even though most of those accounts had been inactive since 2021. It still bothered me, though. Currently, I'm blocked by him, and while I know he has feelings for me, I can't shake the feeling that he takes me for granted because I've returned after our disagreements. We’ve never gone a full month without communication, which has me pondering whether I should distance myself to make him recognize his behavior—similar to what happened with my previous ex. I genuinely want things to work out with this guy, but I also don’t want to keep going in circles. I've been told by various people that I can be intimidating, and I wonder if that factors into this situation. I’d appreciate any insights or advice—am I attracting the wrong individuals, or should I change how I approach things? Notably, both my exes displayed avoidant traits and had a tendency to shift blame, especially when dealing with confrontation. Nevertheless, this current guy does treat me significantly better.

I'm a 20-year-old female and I feel that my boyfriend, who is 21, has been acting lazy when it comes to us meeting up.

I saw my boyfriend today after not going on a proper date for about five months. I know it's not entirely his fault, but our schedules often clash. We do see each other regularly, though. He has a day off tomorrow, and while he mentioned being tired and wanting to sleep in, I had already envisioned us spending time together since he had previously mentioned the chance of meeting up. Now, he’s decided to go on a trek with his friends instead and will wake up early for that. It’s frustrating because he seems eager to do that but not to spend time with me. He insists I’m overreacting and points out that we just hung out today, but I can't shake the feeling that I’m justified in feeling disappointed. He has made sacrifices to see me before, so it stings a bit. I’m not against him going on the trek — it’s just that I wish he would show the same enthusiasm for our time together. What should I do? TL;DR

My girlfriend gets upset when we play games, but she never talks to me about it.

My girlfriend (20F) sometimes seems to get easily irritated, especially a couple of weeks after her period ends. We enjoy playing FPS games together, but even after a winning streak, she often ends up feeling moody or frustrated. Sometimes, she'll go on her phone and suggest taking a break to grab some food, which I don't mind since I have other things to do. However, after that, she sometimes refuses to turn on her camera (we're in a long-distance relationship and FaceTime while playing) and talks to me in a sad or annoyed tone. When I ask what's wrong, I usually get responses like "Nothing" or "I'm fine." This leaves me uncertain about whether I've upset her during the game or if she's just hangry. I tend to overthink things due to anxiety and past experiences, which makes this situation even harder for me. I'm just curious whether it's common for women to experience sudden emotional shifts or if being hangry is a real thing. Any advice would be appreciated—thanks!

Is it inappropriate to urinate while showering?

My boyfriend and I have a little wager going—one of us believes it's gross to pee in the shower, while the other doesn't mind it. What are your thoughts?

My boyfriend often spends his time outside smoking, in the bathroom, watching TV, or using his phone.

We recently moved in together, but often it feels like I'm living alone since he spends so much time outside smoking, in the bathroom, watching TV, or on his phone. I actually feel lonelier now than I did before we shared a space. He seems oblivious to the situation; I find myself doing many things solo. Often, when I’m still eating, he has finished and heads straight for the TV. The quality time I value is nonexistent, and it’s frustrating because that’s an important love language for me. I don’t like having to ask anyone for their attention, affection, or effort, and I’m surprised that he seems to think this is perfectly normal.

My boyfriend of two years didn't give me anything for Christmas.

I purchased the Nike shoes he wanted for $100. He mentioned that my gift was on the way and would arrive on December 20th since he ordered it online. Now it’s January 30th, and I haven’t received anything, nor has he provided any updates. I think it’s fair to conclude that there’s probably nothing coming. What does this indicate about our relationship and his feelings? I haven't received anything—not even a card or a $2 chocolate.

Am I, a 24-year-old guy, overthinking my girlfriend's comments?

I recently had an uncomfortable interaction with my girlfriend, who is 24. While I was on a work break, I called her twice in a row—something we often do. She eventually called me back after the missed calls, and I overheard her tell her friend, “Oh, let me pick up. It’s my boyfriend. He probably checked my location and thinks I’m cheating on him since I’m at this random building.” I found that comment pretty disheartening, although I understand she likely meant it as a joke. Still, I believe some topics shouldn't be taken lightly due to the impression they can create. If I were in a similar situation with friends or family, I wouldn't feel comfortable making such a joke about her, especially since her friend only met me once briefly. After hearing her comment, I expressed my feelings and asked her why she said that. She told me it wasn't a big deal and didn’t warrant such a reaction. I replied with, “Okay, buddy, I'll let you do your thing,” and hung up. Work was busy, and I wanted to avoid letting my emotions get the best of me, so I chose to step away without escalating the situation. When she called back, I declined to answer. I sent her a text that said, “You’re busy, and I’m busy, so no worries, love.” She replied, “Okay, well then I’m busy tonight too, so have a good night,” which I took as a petty jab since I know she didn’t have any plans for the evening. I also reiterated that I didn’t appreciate her joke. She responded with, “I don’t want to speak to you today. Don’t contact me.” That response was more frustrating than her initial comment. We’ve always agreed on the importance of open communication about our grievances, yet instead of engaging constructively, she brushed it off and seemed to use my annoyance as a reason to be petty. I believe she struggles more than I do with reflecting on her behavior and offering apologies. It used to be the other way around for me, but in the past few months, I’ve made a conscious effort to take responsibility for my actions, even when I don’t think they’re a big deal.

My boyfriend, who is 20, told me, a 20-year-old female, that I make him feel worse in every situation where I communicate.

I’m a 20-year-old woman who has been in a relationship with my boyfriend, also 20, for over seven months. At the start of our relationship, we had some significant arguments and disagreements, which have lessened over time. I struggled to express my feelings and often chose to ignore him instead of communicating. Now that I’m trying to communicate openly about my emotions, I feel like I'm not doing it correctly. Today, he mentioned he wasn't feeling well at work due to being sick and dealing with other issues. I asked if I was part of the problem, and he responded, "I would have told you." I apologized because his tone seemed off, but then he expressed that he didn't want my apologies and couldn't handle it today. I suggested I could give him some space, explaining that I was just feeling bad and my messages were only meant to check in. He ended the conversation by saying I do this 2-3 times a week but wouldn’t explain what I'm doing wrong or how to improve it. I’m feeling confused because it seems like my attempts to communicate upset him, and I don’t know how to change that. What am I doing wrong, and how can I improve my communication?

Am I blowing things out of proportion because my boyfriend doesn’t want to attend a concert with me?

**EDIT: For Clarification** I want to express my gratitude to everyone who has taken the time to read and share their thoughts—I truly value your insights. I’d like to offer some more context to clarify my perspective and the reasons behind my post. To be clear, whether he attends the concert or not isn’t the main issue for me. I’ve already found a couple of friends who are excited to join me, and that’s perfectly fine. The real concern lies in what this situation reveals about a pattern in our relationship. It's not about forcing anyone to participate in activities they’re not interested in—it’s about feeling like the things that are important to me are not being acknowledged or valued. It seems like we can only have fun together if it involves something he enjoys. Of course, I don’t expect my partner to be enthusiastic about the same things I am, and he doesn’t have to like this artist or the music. However, I think it’s reasonable to want a relationship where we can appreciate each other's company, regardless of the activity. I want to feel that he’s willing to invest effort into the things that bring me joy. For instance, we’ve been living together for over a year, and during that time, we’ve done very few of the simple activities I’ve wanted to share—like taking our dogs for a walk together. When it comes to anything bigger, like my birthday last year, the same pattern emerged. Months in advance, I expressed my desire to go camping, and I took charge of all the planning: the timeframe, location, transportation, and budget. He initially agreed to it, similar to his response regarding the concert, but ultimately didn’t follow through or bring it up again. On my birthday, nothing happened—no camping trip, no card, no small gesture. I told him how much that hurt and suggested simple alternatives, like camping in the backyard or even just writing me a note to show he cared. Yet, he did nothing, leaving me to spend my birthday in tears, feeling guilty for having even mentioned it. In contrast, for his birthday, I spent months organizing a meaningful celebration, which included thoughtful gifts, activities he enjoys, and even preparing breakfast in bed. I don’t expect everything to be perfectly balanced, but this recurring imbalance in our efforts has left me feeling unfulfilled. This concert situation is merely one instance in a larger pattern, and it’s causing me to reflect on whether this is the relationship dynamic I want for the long haul. I hope this provides some additional clarity, and again, I truly appreciate everyone’s contributions. **End of EDIT: Original Post Below** I (24F) am a homebody who rarely goes out and have never attended a concert before. It just wasn’t something I cared about—until one of my favorite artists announced their tour. As soon as I found out, I was eager to go, despite the high ticket prices. My boyfriend (23M) isn’t a fan of this artist, so I started considering attending alone to avoid forcing him into spending money on something he wouldn’t enjoy. Then, this week, I got lucky and won tickets from a radio show! I was thrilled and hoped that maybe this would motivate him to join me since the tickets were free (we’re currently on a tight budget). When I shared the good news, he seemed genuinely happy for me and even mentioned that he’d start learning some of the songs. That made me feel hopeful, like he was willing to make an effort. But a few days later, when I tried playing a couple of songs for him, he reacted negatively, saying I couldn’t force him to like the artist and that he’d listen on his terms. That hurt my feelings—it made me doubt his initial excitement about going. I ended up expressing to him that he tends to diminish the fun when he’s not fully into an activity, which affects my enjoyment too. We talked about whether it would be best for him to attend, and he agreed without much enthusiasm. Now I’m conflicted. It’s perfectly fine if he doesn’t want to go, and I can take a friend instead. However, it pains me that he seems unwilling to participate in something that clearly means a lot to me. I’ve always envisioned a relationship where partners show effort for each other’s interests, even if they don’t personally enjoy them. I bring positive energy into the things he loves because I want to see him happy. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt that my interests are not being prioritized, and I’m beginning to question if this is the kind of relationship I want in the long run. I know it may seem trivial to let a concert provoke these feelings, but it symbolizes a deeper issue for me. Am I overreacting?

A 24-year-old woman and a 29-year-old man had a pretty heated argument last night, but it appears he isn’t keen on addressing the problems.

Hey, my partner and I had a pretty intense argument last night. He apologized for his behavior and seemed upset, but I haven't said much since then because I'm really hurt. It feels like he hasn’t made much effort to reach out either. Now that the whole day has gone by, he only sent me one message, and it was pretty generic. Should I reach out to him or just leave things as they are? I'm feeling confused. Do you think he actually cares, or is he just being stubborn?

(27M, 25F) What steps can I take to enhance emotional intimacy in my relationship?

Hello Reddit, I’m a 27-year-old male in a relationship with my 25-year-old female partner, and we’ve been together for just over a year. Overall, things are going well; we communicate effectively and have a strong bond. However, I've noticed that our conversations have become somewhat routine and less stimulating lately. I'm eager to enhance our connection and foster more meaningful discussions that help us understand each other better. I've been trying different approaches, like asking open-ended and thought-provoking questions, and while that’s been somewhat beneficial, I feel there's still a significant opportunity to improve our emotional intimacy. For those of you who have successfully tackled this issue, what strategies or specific questions did you use to deepen emotional intimacy in your relationship? Were there any particular rituals or techniques that worked for you? **TL;DR:** I'm a 27M in a happy relationship with a 25F partner and seeking advice on how to enhance emotional intimacy and have deeper conversations.

Do I have the right to confront her?

I'll keep this brief. Since returning from winter break, my girlfriend has become quite distant. When I ask her about it, she says she's just busy with sorority recruitment and classes. I remind her that during my own busy times—balancing athletics, six classes, and two jobs—I still made her a priority and went the extra mile. Despite us living just five minutes apart, she hasn't made any effort to see me, which really hurts. I feel it's reasonable to expect the same dedication from her. Every time I bring up her lack of effort, she responds, "We all handle stress differently, and you need to respect that." Lately, I've been focusing on myself and doing what brings me joy, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm being gaslighted. I'll give it a few more weeks to see if things change, but if not, I believe it's time for us to have a serious discussion about our future. What are your thoughts?

I'm a 31-year-old man and I haven't spoken to my live-in partner, who is 28, for the past 11 days. I could use some assistance with this situation!

I'm 31 and have been living with my girlfriend, who is 28, for six years. Recently, she mentioned that she feels the need to talk to a therapist about something. When I asked for more details, she said there are things I don't understand and preferred not to discuss them with me. I felt hurt and decided to leave for the day. It’s been 11 days since we last spoke, and I'm uncertain about how to approach this situation. What should I do?

I'm uncertain about how to proceed in this situation.

I’m a 21-year-old female, and my boyfriend is 24. We’ve been together for two years, and I’ve been living with him and his family for around six months now. Lately, I've been feeling upset, but I can't pinpoint exactly why. To give you a bit of context, I struggle with severe anxiety and might be autistic, while my boyfriend has ADD and dyslexia. We both also deal with depression. Despite these challenges, our relationship is healthy— we rarely argue, we were friends for years before dating, and we communicate when issues arise. I’ve struggled to express my feelings because my anxiety often makes it hard for me to articulate what I’m going through. I’m currently in therapy to improve my communication skills, but it’s still challenging. This difficulty might be contributing to the issues I'm feeling, and I'm seeking advice from others. I’ve been sensing that my boyfriend and I haven’t been spending enough quality time together lately. It feels like we haven’t had any one-on-one time at all. Whenever I try to talk to him in the common areas of the house, his family often joins in, making it hard to discuss more personal or significant topics. Additionally, my boyfriend works as an apprentice pipefitter, which means he’s out from 3 AM to 4 PM during the week, and sometimes he doesn't come home until 10 PM because of classes. He usually goes to bed around 5 or 6 PM. The weekends are our only time to be together, but he’s often busy with home projects or helping out his parents and the church. While I support his commitments, I can’t shake the feeling that he’s not making an effort to spend personal time with me. This leaves me feeling as though he might not be interested in our relationship anymore, even though he has assured me otherwise. He suggests that I ask him to step aside if I need to talk, but that’s not really what I mean. I’m looking for more meaningful interactions—like doing chores together or planning inexpensive dates—rather than just brief conversations. It also doesn’t help that during dinner, he’s usually on his phone, and when he’s working around the house, he often has his earbuds in (which seems to be the norm for his family unless it’s a special occasion). The only consistent activity we share is watching Star Trek, and while I enjoy that time, it feels like something essential is missing. I understand how he processes things and his love language, but sometimes I feel like he doesn’t grasp what I’m trying to communicate or what I need from him. Is there a better way for me to express my needs to him? Am I asking for too much attention or time? Is this just a product of my anxiety? I’m not sure if I should be asking these questions, but I wanted to reach out for some guidance. Any input would be appreciated, even if it’s just to tell me that it’s all in my head.

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