Facing Challenges in Expressing My Feelings as a 21-Year-Old Female in My Relationship with My 21-Year-Old Boyfriend, While Aiming to Be Understood Without Sparking Conflict

I’m a 21-year-old female who struggles to express my feelings when I’m upset, both in my relationship and with others. This often leads me to become emotional or use a tone that can come off as condescending, which is not my intention and makes communication difficult. Recently, I went through a challenging week after a medical procedure that left me feeling physically and mentally exhausted. My boyfriend, who is 21, was aware of this, but I felt he didn't offer the support I needed. A few days later was my birthday, and I shared with him that I was disappointed about having to work all day. I had hoped he would do something special for me, especially since I went all out for his birthday just two weeks earlier. I even made him his favorite childhood pie from scratch, surprised him with a celebration when he came home from school, complete with candles and gifts. However, after my shift on my birthday, I came home to no surprises. He even asked me to get snacks when I hadn’t eaten and then brought back food just for himself, saying he "forgot the flowers." For context, we had decided at the last minute to see each other after I finished work because I wanted to spend time with him, and he had already given me my birthday present a couple of days ahead of time. I tried to lift my spirits, but later that night, he became irritated when I attempted to talk while we were watching a movie—one we had seen before. The next morning, we went to the mall and tried on clothes; I even purchased perfume for both of us for Christmas so we could pick out scents for each other. Afterward, I drove 30 minutes to pick him up from hanging out with friends, paid for his meal, and took him home. The following morning, I mentioned the flowers again, and he dismissed it with, "How long is your birthday going to last?" When I tried to explain why my birthday is important to me and how I wanted to feel celebrated by him, his response was just, "I apologize," followed by him turning away. This pattern of reacting to my concerns by simply apologizing and then ending the conversation without further discussion is becoming frustrating. Although this makes my relationship sound troubling, there is a lot of love between us. He puts in effort in other ways, like always wanting to spend time with me. We've been together for two years, and this is his first serious relationship, so I recognize that he’s still learning. I care for him deeply and want us to grow together, but I also need my feelings to be acknowledged and validated. I'd genuinely appreciate an outside perspective. How can I approach this situation better, or is this dynamic a potential red flag? I prefer not to discuss this with my friends as I know they would automatically take my side, and I don’t want them to form negative opinions about him. Honest feedback would be really helpful—thank you for taking the time to read this!