My boyfriend struggles with emotional regulation, and it's beginning to impact me.

To provide some context, I'm a 22-year-old woman and he's a 21-year-old man; we've been in a happy relationship for three years now. From the beginning of our relationship, we've had frequent arguments due to his behavior. He tends to be very impulsive and struggles to manage his emotions, often becoming extremely angry when he's feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated. Since we’re both neurodivergent, I’ve always tried to understand him, but it’s been challenging to witness his anger escalate every couple of days. About two or three months ago, he started seeing a therapist to address this issue, and I’m really glad he’s taking this step. While he’s improving in managing his anger, I can't shake the feeling that he’s doing it more for me than for himself. He actually admitted that he sought therapy primarily to avoid losing me, rather than for his own personal growth. This confuses me because, in my opinion, therapy should be about self-improvement rather than simply trying to please someone else, and I worry it might not be effective in the long run. Even though he's not as frequently angry, he still struggles significantly with handling frustration and sadness. Recently, he accidentally broke my laptop and became incredibly upset, crying heavily. I wasn’t angry at him; I could see how distressed he was. While I tried to fix my iPad, he started to hurt himself, and I had to intervene. This crying episode went on for at least an hour, and it heightened my own stress. I attempted to reassure him multiple times, letting him know I wasn't upset and that it wasn't his fault. However, he kept asking, "How are you going to manage now?" which felt very strange to me—it’s just an object, after all, and his reaction seemed disproportionate. He acted as if he had just witnessed something truly tragic. The next morning, I expressed my concern about his reaction and how it felt excessive to me, but he didn’t seem to understand. To him, his response was entirely reasonable and there was nothing wrong with it. I’m starting to question whether I can stay in this relationship if this is how he will respond to life's challenges. Additionally, his extreme reactions sometimes make me feel like I have to suppress my own emotions just to be in a position to support him, rather than allowing myself to process what I’m feeling.