Communication Problems • vipercyclone90 • 14d ago

My boyfriend has been acting distant and unresponsive since our argument, and I’m unsure of how to handle the situation.

My boyfriend (19) and I (19) have been together for six months, and we celebrated our half-year anniversary on December 2nd in Downtown Toronto. He surprised me with an Airbnb that he decorated beautifully. Unfortunately, since then, we've had a significant argument. It all began when I reached out to a close friend (let's call him Steve, also 19) to talk about some troubling things my roommates (who are also my friends) were saying behind my back. I really needed someone to confide in, and since my boyfriend wasn't responding because of our argument, I thought it best to give him space. I messaged Steve for support, as I was very upset and needed to reassure myself that I wasn’t a bad person. Later that day, my boyfriend finally reached out, and I honestly told him I'd spoken to Steve and invited him over to talk things out. My boyfriend was hurt that I contacted Steve instead of him. I tried to explain that I was worried he wouldn't reply, but he wouldn’t hear me out. Two weeks have passed since that incident, and my boyfriend has been distant and cold. We’ve discussed the situation several times, and I've apologized, assuring him I won’t reach out to anyone else when I’m feeling down and will message him instead, regardless of his mood. Despite this, he continues to be uncharacteristically quiet, and while he interacts normally with his friends, he hardly touches or speaks to me and only called me “baby” during intimate moments. The last time we genuinely connected was on Sunday after he returned from a night out with friends for a birthday celebration, but since Monday, he’s gone silent again. I’ve tried discussing what’s bothering him repeatedly but to no avail. Today, he finally expressed that he’s upset about me reaching out to Steve, regardless of my apologies. He also mentioned he was hurt by a dream I shared that involved his ex, even though he had asked me to tell him about my dream when I hesitated. This conversation escalated into another argument. When I asked if he was falling out of love with me due to his behavior over the last couple of weeks, he insisted that he wasn’t. I’ve come to terms with what happened with my friends and decided to approach them openly, learning from the experience. However, I’m unsure how to navigate my relationship with my boyfriend now. I love him deeply, see a future with him, and my parents have just become more accepting of our relationship. This connection means a lot to me, and I don’t want to walk away from it. We’ve had moments where he has thrown my past at me, and he’s even suggested breaking up, which I’ve consistently resisted because I don’t want others to view us as toxic. Right now, I feel lost and drained. I’m not even crying about the idea of a breakup unless it’s mentioned during an argument—I'm just too exhausted emotionally for that. The only time I cried was today when I attempted to communicate with him and was met with silence. What should I do? Will he come around and start talking to me again? Should I give him space for now? I just want his love back to how it was.


shaman461 • 14d ago
Give him space, focus on yourself, and communicate openly when he’s ready. Love can heal!