I urgently require some advice.
I’m a 22-year-old woman and my boyfriend is 24. We’ve been together for five years, and while we've shared many joyful moments and grown together, I’ve also endured a significant amount of loss during our relationship. For instance, I had a male best friend since I was around 12 or 13, but for my boyfriend, that was a dealbreaker, so I chose to cut ties with him. I even deleted my Instagram and Snapchat after he went through my accounts and unfollowed every man I had connections with, including my older male coworkers. In the early stages of our relationship, he cheated on me a few times. I’m not trying to excuse his actions, but I often find myself dwelling on them. I once started flirting with someone online, which led me to delete my Instagram after he discovered it while checking my phone. This was before and during the time he had cheated. Over the years, I've dealt with ongoing issues, including his frequent following of other girls and liking their posts, despite the fact that I’ve been completely transparent on my end. He often brings up the fact that I unblocked my male best friend after he had blocked him, even though we were never romantically involved. Now we find ourselves in a new phase where there’s been no sex or affection at all. He snaps at me frequently, and his tone can be quite harsh. I’ve stopped taking my birth control since there’s been zero intimacy. I don’t want to live like this; I’m seeking advice or just a place to vent because I feel like I'm losing myself. I can't imagine being 22 and living a life without passion, fun, or the freedom to do things for myself. Thanks for listening!