Did 28M sacrifice a core value for 38F, or is he simply not fully committed to her?
**38F** **28M** **Met:** October 31, 2020 **Married:** June 5, 2023 My husband expressed that he compromised his core values by purchasing our marital home with just his name on the mortgage (financial responsibility) while both our names are listed on the deed (ownership) last November. He brings this up during arguments and pressures me to conform to his mother's wishes. This arrangement became necessary due to my job instability and significant pay cuts (the first major decrease was $17,000 annually) that occurred after moving for his job, which granted him a temporary per diem pay raise of over $3,000 a month. It was also stipulated in our prenup that community property must include both names; otherwise, it is solely owned by one party. When he complained about acting in a way I assumed any loving husband would, it made me question, "Does he really love me?" I genuinely want to understand if this is a valid concern and if it's another red flag I overlooked in my marriage to a man who seems to have a stronger bond with his mother than with me. **Background:** The prenup indicated that he didn’t care about me, and despite this, I signed it out of love, believing him when he assured me that the document didn’t reflect the reality of our feelings. In therapy, he revealed that the prenup was primarily for his mother’s benefit. He began our marriage with her influence in mind and has now acknowledged his enmeshment with her. He essentially acquired our house after consulting with a loan officer and a family friend. The loan officer expressed his conflict but ultimately proceeded because he loved his wife, while the friend urged him to step up as he had done when his wife was in medical school; both men conveyed that love should drive those decisions without needing further consultation. Lastly—feel free to skip this part as I'm just venting—when I changed jobs, I lost excellent health insurance that cost only $10 a month. My husband was only open to adding me to his insurance if I reimbursed him each month. I complied, and then we moved again to Sherman, TX, where the pay cut wasn’t just $3,000 like the last job change, but $17,000 annually. He only agreed to cover my insurance after I was unemployed and we discussed the possibility of pregnancy. He downplays that aspect and insists he did it out of love, but I can’t help but wonder if he truly understands love or if he’s just displaying a form of immaturity. His love feels painful, and I question whether he knows what love really means, especially in light of his mother’s strong influence.