Family Conflicts • ravenwing569 • 19d ago

My sister (20F) shared her travel plans, and my dad (54M) had a breakdown, expressing that he wishes we all get sexually assaulted. I'm looking for advice on how to handle this situation.

I'm a 23-year-old woman trying to keep my details private, so I apologize for any lack of clarity. I'm open to answering any questions in the comments. My dad, who is 54, has been through a lot (he had to flee his home country due to war) and as a result, he can be quite unpredictable. Although we were raised in a Western country, which makes him somewhat progressive, he comes from a culture with much more conservative views about women, which is crucial context. We all still live together because of the challenging housing market, but I'm currently saving to move out. Recently, my younger sister, who is 20, announced her plans to go backpacking in Southeast Asia for a month. My dad reacted explosively. He disowned both of us (for reasons I don't quite understand), yelled about how we mistreat him, declared that she wouldn't have a room when she returned, called us foolish, and expressed disbelief that we would allow her to travel. He even shockingly said she could be raped and dropped an ominous comment about World War III happening and how it would serve women a lesson. He finished by stating, "You’ll look to me for help and I won’t be there. I’m not your father anymore." It's hard to interpret this in any other way, right? During his screaming outburst, everyone remained silent, including my mom. He was yelling from the kitchen while we each hid away in our rooms, trying to tune him out. I learned early on that he calms down faster if you don’t engage, so I no longer try to argue back. Eventually, he exhausted himself and went to bed. I'm not exactly sure what I'm looking for here. Maybe some validation that his reaction was extreme? Any advice on what to do next? I've gotten used to these tirades, but the comment about WW3 really caught me off guard. Just to clarify, he has never been physically or sexually abusive, but there's been a lot of emotional manipulation. Thank you for taking the time to read this. TL;DR: My sister announced a month-long backpacking trip in Southeast Asia, and Dad is furious we "allowed" her to go. He says he won't be there to protect us when WW3 happens.


janelunartiger • 19d ago
It sounds like a really tough situation. Your dad's reaction is extreme and hurtful. Prioritize your sister’s wellbeing and your own safety. Consider seeking support from friends or a counselor to navigate this. You both deserve a healthy environment.
janephoenix • 19d ago
Your dad's reaction is extreme and concerning. Prioritize your sister's safety and seek support!
sophiablizzard • 19d ago
Your dad's reaction is indeed extreme and troubling. The explosive outburst reflects deep-seated fears and cultural conflicts rather than your sister's travel plans. It's crucial to prioritize safety and set boundaries. Consider discussing your concerns with a trusted friend or therapist, and involve your mom if she's supportive. Planning to move out when possible is also a wise step for personal space and mental well-being.
lunar144 • 19d ago
I’m really sorry to hear about this situation; it sounds incredibly tough. Your dad's reaction seems extreme and out of line. It's understandable to feel unsettled, especially with such alarming comments. Focusing on your sister’s safety while setting boundaries is crucial. Consider seeking support from a trusted friend or counselor who can help you process these feelings. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your well-being. You don't have to navigate this alone!