Am I (20F) in an unhealthy relationship with my boyfriend (21M), or is this just my tendency to overthink?

My boyfriend (21) and I (20) have been together for nearly a year and a half. Lately, he's stopped surprising me with flowers or planning sweet dates, and our time together has turned into just ordering takeout and eating at home. I tried to bring this up with him, but I tend to struggle with communication—I often shut down or approach conversations with anger. When I mentioned it, he made excuses and got upset, which led to me comforting him instead. Whenever I want to discuss something that's been bothering me, he tends to get defensive, saying things like, "Why do I feel like I'm going to get dumped over this?" Recently, he got really upset when I asked to go to a club with some friends, one of whom is moving away for a bit. I understand that he knows I'm more of a homebody, but I thought one night out wouldn’t hurt, especially since I communicated my plans. I reminded him that I'm okay with him going out to the bar or club, as I trust him, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. After a night out, there’s often silence when I return, and the next morning, he acts as if nothing happened, flooding me with affection. Throughout our relationship, he often makes jokes when either of us goes out, saying things like, "No new boyfriends." Recently, while I was fighting off a cold, he made a comment implying it was because I went out and "sucked face" with some guys. However, he also takes care of me and inquires about my health. When he gets upset, it seems to affect everything around him—he slams small items on the counter and is impatient with me. I’ve mentioned therapy, but he just said, "It's fine, I'll handle it." I spend most of my time at home since I don’t have a vehicle. He promised to fix it but hasn't followed through. My sister feels uneasy about our relationship, sensing that I’m trapped at home. I've expressed my boredom to him, and he suggests visiting our moms, but he doesn’t seem interested in my family. He often complains about my 5-year-old sister, saying he wouldn't want a child like that. One time, when I tried to show him a video from my childhood, he just smiled without showing any excitement and walked away. I wish he would have said something nice like, "Aww, you were cute." I've invested so much into this relationship—loving him, being supportive, and doing things for him without hesitation. I respect him and trust him completely, but it never feels like I get that same level of care in return. My friends think I might be in a controlling relationship and that I shouldn’t have to ask for permission to do anything. I feel lost because while he loves me and I love him, I’ve exhausted myself trying to please him, and he doesn’t seem to see or appreciate it.