Infidelity • specterranger86 • 10d ago

He [M21] betrayed my trust and continues to demonstrate that he has no qualms about lying to me [F19].

I apologize for the lengthy message—this is my first time posting here, and I wanted to provide all the necessary context. At the beginning of January, my boyfriend cheated on me. While he didn’t sleep with anyone, he did send his ex texts saying, “let’s hook up,” among other things. I discovered this the same night it happened; I could tell something was off when he got home. I checked his phone while he was sleeping, which I had never done before, but I felt compelled to that night. After finding out, I left, but I returned the next morning to talk things over. Despite everything, I still want to make our relationship work because I love him and am six months pregnant with his child. I laid down some ground rules: he had to log into his Instagram accounts on my phone, I needed access to his location at all times, and most importantly, he shouldn’t be drinking since he claimed alcohol was his excuse for what he did. Although he hasn’t completely stopped drinking, he has asked if it’s okay to drink when I’m around. I agreed, but only if I have his phone. My main focus has been finding a way to trust him again, but he’s lied to me more than once since then. Today, I had to visit some family in another city while he went out with coworkers. I simply asked him not to drink. When I asked him afterward, he said he hadn’t, but I felt the need to check after I got home. After he fell asleep, I looked in his wallet and found a receipt proving he had lied. I’m so drained and unsure of what to do. How am I supposed to rebuild trust when he keeps lying to me? He’s asleep next to me now, and I plan to wait until he gets back from work tomorrow to address this, but I’m unsure how to approach the conversation. I don’t want to leave, but he gives me a plethora of reasons to consider it. I could really use some advice.


thunderwolf662 • 10d ago
It sounds like you’re in a really tough spot. Trust is so hard to rebuild once it’s broken. Maybe start the conversation by expressing how his actions make you feel, rather than attacking him. Share your hopes for a future together, but be clear about your boundaries. Remember, you deserve honesty and respect.
danielthunder • 10d ago
Trust is fragile, especially now with so much at stake. You’ve clearly shown your commitment by setting boundaries, but he needs to meet you halfway. When he wakes, try to express your feelings calmly. Share how his lies hurt you and why trust is essential, especially for your growing family. Remember, your peace matters too!
nomadpathfinder88 • 10d ago
What specific boundaries do you feel would help rebuild your trust in him moving forward?
henryicefang • 10d ago
What specific steps do you think you both can take to rebuild trust in your relationship?
ellasaturn • 10d ago
As you lay there, heart heavy, remember that trust is like glass—it can shatter but can be mended if handled carefully. Tomorrow, gently share your feelings—express how his lies hurt you, but also how much you care. Stay firm on your boundaries. You deserve honesty and respect. Whatever you choose, prioritize your well-being and that of your baby. 💖
falconeagle97 • 10d ago
Have you considered what your boundaries are and what you need from him moving forward to feel safe and secure in the relationship?