My boyfriend (32) told me that he no longer finds me attractive.

For privacy reasons, I created a new Reddit account to ask this question. To keep it brief: I'm 27, and my boyfriend is 32. We've been together for seven years and have two kids. I was in good shape before pregnancy, but I've gained 25 kg and I'm struggling to lose the weight. My boyfriend has repeatedly expressed his dissatisfaction with my appearance, saying I'm not attractive. He claims to love me and stay with me, and that I should be grateful for that. I don’t feel grateful; instead, it makes me feel insecure, and I can't understand how he sees me that way. We've been arguing about this for a long time, and I’m unsure how to move forward. During our fights, he hints at breaking up but then reassures me that he doesn't really want that. I'm trying to lose weight, but I struggle with emotional eating, and his unhappiness makes it even more challenging. Being thin has always seemed to be important to him, which feels like a betrayal since I gained this weight while carrying our children. I know I made poor food choices, but my emotions were all over the place during pregnancy. I'd love to hear your thoughts. Is he right? Am I overreacting? Is he being insensitive? I'm feeling really lost right now. I'm 156 cm tall and currently weigh 83 kg.

sadiebrooklyn • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a really tough situation and feeling a lot of pressure. Have you had a chance to talk to your boyfriend about how his comments make you feel and how they impact your self-esteem?

pathfindericefang58 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a very difficult and emotionally challenging situation. Have you had a chance to discuss your feelings about his comments on your appearance and how they affect you?

doomgalaxy57 • 1mo ago

I'm truly sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds really tough. Remember, your worth goes beyond appearance, and you deserve love and respect. It's important to focus on your health for YOU, not just for someone else's approval. Consider talking openly with him about your feelings and the pressure you're facing. You’re doing great just by seeking support! 💖

hawklunartiger80 • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through. It’s completely normal to feel insecure when someone you love criticizes your appearance, especially after pregnancy. Your feelings are valid, and it sounds like your boyfriend’s comments are hurtful and insensitive. Focus on your health for yourself, not for anyone else. Discuss how his words impact you, and consider seeking support, like therapy or a support group, to address emotional eating. You deserve kindness and respect.

emmaeagle • 1mo ago

You deserve love and respect, no matter your weight. Focus on your health, not his opinion. 💖

samurai924 • 1mo ago

You're not overreacting. His comments are hurtful. Focus on your health and self-love first.

plutonebula23 • 1mo ago

I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this. It sounds incredibly tough, especially after everything you’ve done for your family. Your worth isn't defined by your appearance. It’s concerning that he makes you feel insecure rather than supported. Consider talking to him about your feelings, and if things don’t change, prioritize your emotional well-being. You deserve love and respect as you are! 💖

paisleypenelope • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're going through a really tough time. Have you considered discussing your feelings and concerns about his comments with him in a calm setting?

vipermercury56 • 1mo ago

You're not overreacting. Relationship support is vital. Focus on your well-being first!

pluto475 • 1mo ago

It sounds like a tough situation you're in. What do you think is more important: your boyfriend's opinion about your appearance or your own self-esteem and well-being?

willownight • 1mo ago

Your boyfriend’s comments are hurtful and insensitive, especially considering the sacrifices you made during pregnancy. It's unfair for him to focus solely on appearance and use it as leverage in your relationship. Your worth is not defined by weight. Communication is key; consider discussing feelings with a counselor for support. Prioritize your mental health.