We both engage in verbal abuse.

I’m a 22-year-old woman, and my boyfriend, who is 23, and I have been in a long-distance relationship for five years, with the aim of eventually getting married. We’ve both come from challenging family backgrounds, and recently, our relationship faced significant strain, resulting in a breakup. We’ve both struggled with verbal abuse and certain triggers in our interactions. I’m actively working on improving myself, and when my boyfriend is calm, he’s responsive and takes accountability for the hurt he’s caused me. He’s very committed to our future and is eager to marry next year, so I can move to his city. However, I’m concerned that our unhealthy patterns might persist after marriage. Knowing that divorce can be particularly challenging for women in my culture, I’m seeking advice on how to make this relationship successful. I truly want it to work.