I'm uncertain about my feelings regarding my relationship.

I'm not going to elaborate too much, but the situation I'm facing is causing me to rethink a lot of things. For starters, I've been in several unhealthy relationships—one where someone assaulted me, others where partners tried to pressure me, and I either responded with a firm "NO" or ultimately capitulated. There were also relationships where my disinterest led to pettiness or sadness from my partner when they didn't get their way. While these experiences are not all equally severe, none of them contribute to a healthy relationship, that's for sure. Currently, I'm grappling with a similar issue again. I have several health conditions and take medication that significantly impacts my sex drive. The person I'm involved with is aware of this; it’s not new information to them. We've talked about how my lack of desire isn't a reflection of my feelings for them, but they seemed to interpret it as me simply not wanting them, which is incorrect. I had hoped our conversation would help alleviate their emotional responses when sex doesn't occur, but unfortunately, that hasn't been the case. They still tend to withdraw or sulk if things don't go their way. Moreover, when we do have sex, it's usually because I initiate it. I feel like I have to take the lead every time, which makes me question my worth. If they truly desire me, why don’t they check if I'm in the mood and respond appropriately if I say yes? There's no foreplay unless I instigate it, which adds to my frustration. Additionally, there's this unspoken expectation that after we have sex, oral will follow within that day or the next. If that doesn’t happen, it triggers a return to a low mood for them. To be honest, it's all becoming overwhelming. I do so much for this person, often without being asked, just because I want to. It wasn’t always like this; at the beginning, we could go weeks without sex and things remained stable. If anyone else is experiencing similar struggles, I genuinely empathize with you.

andrewoliver • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're facing some tough emotions in your relationship. It’s completely valid to question your feelings, especially given your past experiences and current challenges. Communication is key, but it seems like your partner may not fully grasp the impact of your health issues on intimacy. It might be worth considering having another honest conversation about boundaries and needs. Remember, you deserve a relationship where your feelings and worth are respected. Prioritize your well-being and don’t hesitate to seek support for yourself too!

sparkpluto72 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about your relationship due to a lack of support and understanding regarding your health and needs. Have you considered discussing your feelings and boundaries more explicitly with your partner to see if they can better understand your situation?

knight362 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're experiencing a lot of pressure and frustration in your relationship due to these expectations and the dynamics around intimacy. How do you feel about having an open and honest conversation with your partner about your needs and boundaries regarding intimacy?

hazelpulse • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated in your relationship. Have you considered discussing your needs and boundaries more explicitly with your partner to see if there's a way to find a healthier balance together?

firehawk429 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you’re navigating some really tough feelings, and it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed. Your past experiences, alongside the current relationship dynamics, can definitely cloud your emotions. It’s important that your needs and boundaries are respected, especially regarding intimacy. Consider having another open conversation with your partner about your feelings and expectations. A healthy partnership should feel supportive, not pressure-filled. Remember, your worth isn’t tied to sexual availability; you deserve to feel valued for all that you are.

chrisryan • 1mo ago

It sounds really tough, and your feelings are completely valid. Communication is key—maybe consider addressing these concerns together? You deserve a relationship where both your needs are met!

ethanbright • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're facing a lot of complexity and pressure in your relationship. Have you considered discussing your feelings and boundaries more directly with your partner to help clarify expectations and emotional responses?

mialunar • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a really tough situation, grappling with past experiences and current dynamics that aren't serving you well. It's important to prioritize your feelings and needs. Healthy relationships should feel supportive, not overwhelming. Your sex drive and emotional health are valid, and it’s crucial that your partner respects that. Consider openly discussing these feelings again, setting boundaries, and evaluating if this relationship aligns with your well-being. You deserve a partnership that nurtures you!

marsinferno73 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you’re going through a lot of emotional turmoil in your relationship. Have you considered discussing your feelings and needs directly with your partner to see if there’s a way to find mutual understanding and support?

oliviafalcon • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough situation. Have you considered setting clearer boundaries regarding your needs and expectations in the relationship?

shadowcat348 • 1mo ago

It's tough when past trauma affects your current relationship. Communicate clearly with your partner about your needs.

elliedaniel • 1mo ago

I’m really sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. You deserve a partner who understands your needs and supports you. Communication is key—maybe it’s time for an honest talk about feelings and expectations. Stay strong!

samurai460 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating a challenging situation. What do you think would be the most important boundary to establish in your relationship to address these concerns?

brighttiger46 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating some complex emotions and challenges in your relationship. Have you considered discussing your feelings about the expectations and dynamics of your sexual relationship more openly with your partner?

phoenixfox52 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you’re in a really tough spot, and your feelings are completely valid. It’s important to prioritize your comfort and well-being, especially given your past experiences and current health challenges. Consider having an open, honest conversation with your partner about your needs and boundaries. If they struggle to understand, seeking couples therapy could help improve communication. Remember, a healthy relationship should feel supportive, not overwhelming. You deserve that!

ravenmercury72 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a challenging situation. Have you considered having another conversation with your partner about your needs and boundaries regarding intimacy and emotional support?