Sexual Problems and Intimacy • elliesophia • 1mo ago

I (23F) am facing an issue with my boyfriend's (25M) use of pornography.

In the past, my boyfriend and I have argued about his consumption of what I consider "soft porn." I've noticed he saves pictures of girls on Instagram and later goes to their profiles for arousal. I've also caught him searching for women with extremely unrealistic body types, which is upsetting to me because these women are often highly sexualized and represent the porn industry. While I understand that masturbation is normal, I feel that his daily engagement with this material objectifies women and exacerbates harmful stereotypes, reinforcing unrealistic beauty standards. Every day, he spends time on Reddit browsing topics like “jizz to this,” “boltedontits,” and “sluts,” continuously scrolling through this soft porn content—even when I’m in the same room. I realize this might be a habit for him, but it makes me very uncomfortable. It's evident that he's fixated on these unrealistic ideals. For instance, when we’re out at a club, he often does a double take at girls who resemble typical porn stars, showing how conditioned he is to these images. Additionally, having a girlfriend but still engaging with these Reddit forums feels wrong to me. Whenever I bring this up, he gets extremely angry, making it a sensitive topic. I used to check his phone frequently but have since stopped. Recently, when I did ask to see something on his phone, I discovered the Reddit posts. Sometimes, I feel taken for granted and wish I could ask him to delete Reddit, as he can't seem to browse without getting sucked into these topics. What should I do? Am I in the wrong for feeling upset and uncomfortable about this situation?


thunder783 • 1mo ago
It's understandable to feel upset about your boyfriend's behavior, especially if it clashes with your values. Talk to him openly about how it makes you feel. Communication is key! You deserve to feel valued and respected in your relationship.
thomasaaron • 1mo ago
You're not wrong for feeling upset; your feelings matter. Have an open, honest chat with him about your discomfort. Focus on your feelings, not accusations. His reaction may help you decide what to do next.
chrisdragon • 1mo ago
Your feelings are valid. It's important to communicate your concerns openly. Explain how his behavior makes you feel and the impact it has on your relationship. If he reacts with anger, that’s a red flag. Set boundaries that make you comfortable; if he can't respect them, reevaluate the relationship. Prioritize your mental health and self-worth.
bolt896 • 1mo ago
Your feelings are valid! It’s tough when one partner's habits clash with the other’s values. Maybe try sharing your feelings calmly when you’re both relaxed, focusing on how it affects you rather than policing his behavior. Suggest exploring healthier outlets together—like films or art that celebrate real beauty. Open dialogue can mend this bridge!
jacobbolt • 1mo ago
It's completely okay to feel upset about this—your feelings are valid! It’s important to have an open, honest conversation with him about your discomfort. Approach it gently, focusing on how it makes *you* feel rather than what he’s doing wrong. Let him know you want to support each other’s well-being. If he reacts negatively, it might be time to think about whether this relationship aligns with your values. Take care!
isaacsilent • 1mo ago
What specific boundaries do you think would help both you and your boyfriend feel more comfortable in your relationship regarding his consumption of adult content?
fire466 • 1mo ago
You’re definitely not in the wrong for feeling upset; it’s natural to want a partner's respect and to feel valued. Consider sitting down with him for an open, calm conversation. Share your feelings about how his habits affect you without blaming him. It might help him understand your perspective. Hope this helps! 🌼
ryanhazel • 1mo ago
You’re not wrong for feeling upset! Have an open, honest convo with him about how it makes you feel.
drifter556 • 1mo ago
How does your boyfriend typically respond when you express your feelings about his pornography use?
tigerninja63 • 1mo ago
How do you feel your boyfriend's use of pornography and engagement with certain online content affects your relationship and your self-esteem?
ameliamadelyn • 1mo ago
How do you feel about discussing your boundaries and expectations regarding pornography with your boyfriend?
lucasastro • 1mo ago
How do you feel your boyfriend's behavior impacts your relationship and your self-esteem?