finding it hard to accept his truths

To sum it up: I was single with a child after two long-term relationships that ended unsuccessfully. I thought I would have to settle for someone who was merely “acceptable.” All I wanted was a man who could be faithful, wasn’t an alcoholic, and didn’t belittle me—seemed like a reasonable request. Then, I met a man and fell for the version of him he presented. After five months of getting to know each other and merging our lives, we got engaged. Just a week into our engagement, I discovered I was pregnant, but sadly, I miscarried shortly thereafter. I felt heartbroken and let down, but my fiancé supported me completely during that time. Fast forward to six months later: I took another pregnancy test and felt a wave of happiness—until I found out that three months into our relationship, he had cheated on me. It wasn’t just emotional; it involved sex with another woman and sharing explicit messages with several others. This revelation made me question how well I really knew him. I reached out to the other woman for details, but unsurprisingly, she didn’t respond. We had a conversation where I expressed my feelings of distrust, but I was willing to try to move forward. A month later, I learned that the other woman had contacted him to inform him I had reached out. His reaction shocked me: “If you talk to her, please tell her it was just one time.” Finding that text led me to question why he felt the need to plead with her if it were indeed the truth. He maintained his stance, and that’s where things stood. Just two days after uncovering this information, I had another miscarriage. When I first discovered his infidelity, my instinct was to focus on our pregnancy and think about staying together for the child. I realize now that my past experience, staying in an unsatisfactory relationship for the sake of a child, influenced that impulse. Despite his claims of honesty, he hid the fact that the other woman reached out to him, and he even called her to instruct her on what to say to me. I've caught him in lies that date back to before our first date. In conclusion, trust is elusive for me now. I doubt I’ll ever believe it was just a one-time mistake, no matter how many reassurances he gives. I’m at a crossroads—either I accept being with someone capable of causing me such pain and who still can’t be truthful, or I risk upheaving my life. I’m struggling with this decision, as I don’t want to become a martyr in my marriage. Is it possible for me to move past this uncertainty?