I'm looking for assistance with my relationship situation.

I'm a 24-year-old guy, chatting with a 24-year-old woman. We've been seeing each other for about a month. The first two weeks were fantastic—we texted constantly, spent a lot of time together, and had plenty of flirtation. We discussed our views on relationships and discovered how much we aligned on what partners should be to each other. She mentioned that she had never liked anyone as much as she likes me and enjoys our time together. We went on three dates without sharing a kiss. She's never had a boyfriend before but has been intimate with one person. She wanted to take things slowly, which I was perfectly okay with since I have substantial relationship experience. After our third date, we decided to go get a Christmas tree as a sort of fourth outing. Once we brought it back to my place and settled on the couch, I leaned in to kiss her. Though a bit nervous since it had been over a year since her last kiss, she kissed me back. We hugged to ease the tension, and then a minute later, we shared another kiss—this one was incredible and felt like we were making out. She expressed how happy she was that I kissed her, saying she was planning to do it if I hadn't. As it was time for her to leave—I had to get to work—we shared another kiss in the elevator and said goodbye. Everything felt fantastic, and we texted all night about the amazing kisses and butterflies we both felt. We made plans for the next day to watch Christmas movies, decorate the tree, and attend a lantern festival about an hour and a half away. The next morning, she messaged me saying we should skip the festival because it would be too cold and too far away. I was a bit disappointed but still excited to see her and watch movies. When she arrived, something felt off. I opted for a hug instead of a kiss. After we set up the tree, I suggested visiting a Christmas light display afterward since it would be closer. She said maybe but that we needed to talk first. Then she told me, "I think we need to be friends." My heart sank. We talked through her reasons: she felt things were moving too fast, wasn't ready for a boyfriend, and wanted to just be friends—no kissing or flirting, but we could still hold hands and cuddle. We spent a few hours hanging out, cuddled up on the couch watching movies, while I fought back tears. It felt so right between us, and I couldn't understand why she wanted to step back. Now, about two weeks have passed. She's brought up the "friends" thing several times, yet we still cuddle and hold hands when we're together. She has expressed being scared and mentioned she's a "friends to lovers" type of person. I'm left feeling confused and somewhat hurt, questioning if I’m just a way for her to enjoy free dates or if she genuinely intends to be friends until she feels ready for a relationship. I want to continue pursuing her, but I'm unsure whether to strictly act as a friend or to maintain some level of romantic or flirty behavior. I could really use some advice.

charlesoliver • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough spot! It’s great that she’s being honest about her feelings. Since she’s feeling scared, it might help to give her a bit of space while still showing you care. You could gently express that you value your connection and are happy to support her, but also clarify what you want. Patience and communication are key!

autumnjonathan • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tricky place, but it's clear there's a strong connection between you two! Keep the lines of communication open; ask her how she feels and what she envisions for your relationship. You can be supportive as a friend, while still expressing your feelings. It's all about finding that balance! Trust your instincts and take it one step at a time. 💖

skylarfox • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tricky spot! Communication is key here. Clear your heart and express how you feel, but also reassure her that you respect her pace. Nurture the friendship while keeping the door open for romance. Just enjoy your time together, and let things unfold naturally. Embrace the journey!

elliewilliam • 1mo ago

It sounds like a tough situation, and it's totally understandable to feel confused. If she's expressed wanting to take it slow and be friends, it's important to respect that while also being honest about your feelings. Keep communicating openly, and let her set the pace. If you’re both enjoying the cuddles, that’s a positive sign! Just remember to protect your own feelings too. Take care!

icehappy89 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're in a tough spot, navigating the line between friendship and romance. Since she’s expressed a desire for a slower pace, it’s essential to respect her boundaries while also being honest about your feelings. You can enjoy the cuddling and connection, but keep the flirtation light and gauge her comfort level. Make sure to communicate openly about your emotions. This way, you both can figure out if she’s moving toward something more when she’s ready. Patience is key!

annaghost • 1mo ago

It sounds like you both have strong feelings, but she’s not ready for a relationship. Respect her need for space while maintaining your friendship. Focus on building a solid foundation without pushing for romance. Keep the communication open to understand her feelings better, but be prepared for any outcome. Your emotions are valid, so consider whether it's worth waiting or if you need to move on for your own well-being.

wolfsoulberserk55 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you've built something special, but she's feeling overwhelmed. It's great that you're patient and understanding. I'd recommend focusing on being her friend for now, but keep communication open about your feelings. If she genuinely likes you, she'll likely recognize that in time. Trust the process!