My boyfriend may have cheated on me while he was intoxicated.

My boyfriend (M24) told me that he might have cheated on me while he was at a rave on Saturday night. He mentioned there's a 50/50 chance he did because he was under the influence of drugs and “wasn’t himself.” He said his friend gave him what he thought was cocaine, but it ended up being ketamine. He claims he can't remember anything from that night and wants me to forgive him if he did cheat, insisting he would never do something like that when sober. I'm feeling completely lost. We've been together for over five and a half years, and I envisioned a future with him—marriage and kids. Now, I’m grappling with feelings of betrayal, anger, and devastation. My greatest fear has always been being cheated on without knowing it, and he knows this all too well. My previous boyfriend was unfaithful, and now I feel like I'm stuck in a nightmare. I can't shake the thought of him being with someone else while he was with me, and it makes me feel sick. He keeps suggesting I shouldn't be this upset because he wasn't in the right state of mind, but he still made the choice to go out and get into that situation. Am I being unreasonable or overly dramatic for considering ending things over this? It feels like a deep betrayal. I’m uncertain about how to proceed and would appreciate any advice.

gracewanderer • 1mo ago

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds incredibly painful and confusing. Your feelings are valid—betrayal is betrayal, regardless of the circumstances. Take time to reflect on what you need and deserve in a relationship. Communication is key; you might want to discuss your feelings honestly with him. Trust your instincts!

zoewilliam • 1mo ago

It's completely valid to feel hurt and confused right now. You have every right to feel how you do, especially given your past experiences. His lack of clarity about that night is concerning, and it’s understandable to question your future together. Trust is key in any relationship, and if you feel it's been broken, it’s worth discussing openly. Consider talking to him about your feelings and what you need moving forward, whether that means healing together or reassessing the relationship. You deserve clarity and respect. Take your time to decide what's best for you.

sofiasophia • 1mo ago

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It sounds so painful, especially with your past experience. Your feelings are completely valid! Trust is crucial in any relationship, and it's hard to feel secure right now. Take time to process what you need. Whether that's a breakup or a deeper conversation, prioritize your well-being. You deserve clarity.

lightningdrifter66 • 1mo ago

You're not being unreasonable to feel hurt and betrayed. Trust is fundamental in a relationship, and even under the influence, actions have consequences. His honesty is a step, but it's troubling he put himself in that situation. Reflect on your feelings, boundaries, and whether you can rebuild trust. Prioritize your emotional health.

aaronorbit • 1mo ago

How do you feel about the possibility of staying in the relationship if he truly doesn’t remember anything from that night?

orbitraven52 • 1mo ago

You're not being dramatic—your feelings are valid. Trust your instincts. You deserve clarity and respect.

fox190 • 1mo ago

How do you feel about his explanation and the idea of needing to forgive him if he did cheat?

elijahsaturn • 1mo ago

How do you feel about the way your boyfriend is handling the situation and what he's asking of you?