I feel overwhelmed with guilt just thinking about leaving. What do you think?

What do you think about my situation? I'm considering breaking up with my partner, who identifies as non-binary and is 23, while I am a 23-year-old woman. We've been close since high school, having known each other for seven years and been in a relationship for three. I cared deeply for them and often imagined our future together during our high school years, but it hurt when they were still interested in their ex. We both have BDP, so our emotional ups and downs were intense, but we always found our way back to each other. In college, I made the decision to distance myself from them, despite my efforts to keep them in my life. After going through a significant change following COVID, I confessed my feelings only to be turned down again, which prompted me to pull away. Eventually, we reconnected as friends, and our dynamic shifted; there was flirtation, and we ended up becoming intimate. When they asked me to be their girlfriend, I agreed, fulfilling a long-held desire. I moved them into my dorm, and for the last two years of college, we essentially lived as a couple, juggling school, jobs, and home life. The beginning was challenging, but I learned to trust the process as they worked through their depression and became more responsible. However, I've noticed that I've taken on a caregiving role in our relationship for the past three years. I still love them, but I've come to realize that I'm no longer interested in being in a romantic relationship. I feel like the "mom" in the partnership, and I've lost touch with my former self—I used to be so lively and happy, but now I don’t feel that way as much. I've stopped hanging out with friends and have neglected my appearance (though I know that's not all their fault). They’ve made some positive changes, like advancing in their job and helping around the house—things many women wish for in a partner. Despite their loyalty and the fact that they’re my best friend, they still struggle with self-care. They've frequently expressed feeling isolated since moving in with me, as well as dissatisfaction with their appearance and lack of a degree (I have my bachelor's). Living in a bustling college town, they could have engaged more with the community, but they tend to stay inside, and even after I encouraged them to return to school, they found it difficult to keep up with the classes. I can understand why, yet if they'd taken more initiative, they could have transferred out in time for my graduation. Their mental health challenges hold them back from prioritizing themselves, and they often voice their frustrations about it. We've discussed these issues over the years, but they seem to become sad without making the progress I hope for. I've taken charge of things like utilities and picking our apartment after I graduated. I recognize that at some point, I need to let them take more control, but I struggle to trust them. I know they're smart and capable, but my history of managing our responsibilities has led me to naturally take over tasks like handling bills and debts. I often find myself feeling overwhelmed and burdened by the need to remind them of things; it shouldn’t always fall on me to nudge them into action. It’s frustrating that it often takes my emotional breakdown for them to step up and help around the house. They genuinely try, which makes me feel guilty about my feelings. I do love them, but it’s not in the same way anymore. I once believed I could fix our relationship, but now I’m uncertain.