Age Differences • wyatthudson • 1mo ago

I'm an 18-year-old female and I misled my boyfriend, who is 20, about my age when we first started dating. How should I tell him the truth after a few months of not being honest?

I met my boyfriend when I was 17 and he was 20. At the time, I misrepresented my age because I didn't expect us to last beyond a few dates. I even tried to self-sabotage the relationship to escape the situation I had created, but he proved to be incredibly understanding and stuck by me through all the ups and downs. We connected on an app where I had my profile listed as 19—initially, I never intended to meet anyone from there; it was just for fun. When the topic of my age comes up, I’ve gone along with the story instead of clarifying the truth, though I don’t justify my actions. Fast forward almost a year, and I've fallen deeply in love with him, and we're now engaged. Yet, I still struggle to tell him the truth about my actual age. I know there’s never a perfect time to reveal something like this, but I’m at a loss for how to approach the conversation. I feel terrible whenever my age comes up, and the thought of losing him terrifies me. What if he reacts negatively? I recognize that what I did was wrong, but I’m unsure how to rectify the situation. On top of all this, I’m now pregnant with his child. I made sure to wait until I was of legal age to meet him in person, so there was nothing illegal about our relationship—just a moral dilemma I'm grappling with. Any advice would be appreciated.


emmanora • 1mo ago
First, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Honesty is key in a relationship. Choose a calm moment to share your truth, apologize sincerely, and explain why you felt you had to mislead him. He deserves to know you fully. Good luck!
wolfsoul742 • 1mo ago
It sounds like you're in a really tough spot, but honesty is key in any relationship—especially now that you're engaged and having a baby together. Choose a calm moment to share your truth. Express how much he means to you and why you felt the need to lie. Take responsibility, and give him space to process. He might surprise you!