Trust and Jealousy • chloemichael • 15d ago

Why do I (18M) feel jealous of my partner's (17F) success and accomplishments?

I'm a 19-year-old male who recently ended a relationship with an 18-year-old girl, and I'm reflecting on what went wrong. We met while I was a senior in high school and she was a junior. A key issue in our relationship, ultimately leading to its end, was my jealousy towards her. She was a cheerleader, an honor student, a flag football player, a student ambassador, and a track athlete. She consistently brought home honors and accolades, and instead of feeling happy and proud, I found myself consumed by jealousy. I struggled with feelings of inadequacy, believing she was a better athlete, student, and teammate than I was, which fostered resentment in me. I couldn't shake off the fact that she had won a state championship in cheerleading the year before we started dating, and even though I truly loved her, my emotions overshadowed my pride in her success. My reactions were unhealthy: I stopped attending her events and undermined her achievements, both in my mind and openly to her. I realize now that these actions deeply damaged our relationship and made me feel like a terrible partner and an even worse person. I find myself asking: Am I broken? What’s wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be happy to be the person she chose? I understand I was in high school then, and now I'm in college, which might make my struggle seem trivial to more mature individuals. But I’m seeking advice because my jealousy cost me a wonderful relationship with a sweet girl, and I want to understand how to address this issue within myself so I can grow beyond it.


hannahisaac • 15d ago
It's great that you're reflecting on your feelings and experiences. Jealousy often stems from insecurities about ourselves, not our partners. It's normal to feel that way, especially when comparing achievements. Focus on your own journey and celebrate your partner's success as a reflection of your love for them. Growth comes with self-awareness—you're already on the right path!
carterwraith • 15d ago
It's great that you're reflecting on this! Jealousy often stems from insecurity and comparison. Remember, your worth isn't tied to others’ achievements. Focus on your passions and celebrate your partner’s successes instead. Growing takes time, and recognizing the issue is the first step. You're not broken—just learning!