My boyfriend wishes to have some distance and prefers to live independently.
My boyfriend wants to live separately and is asking for space. This might be a lot to take in, but here’s the context: I’m F29 and he’s M32. We have been together for two years, and lived together for about one and a half of those years (I know we moved in quickly). Around two weeks ago, my boyfriend shared that he doesn’t want to renew our lease because he feels the need for space. To be fair, we spend a lot of time together since he works from home and I’m often at home too. His reasons include: 1. He feels boxed in and wants his own space, as he doesn’t like having to explain his whereabouts. 2. He mentioned that he isn’t fully in love with me and wants to explore other connections (which feels like he’s looking for someone ‘better’), even though he loves me and thinks living apart could help us both. We have a solid connection on several levels, but I’m more of a homebody while he is outgoing and enjoys singing and dancing. I do have fun and go out with him, but our interests differ somewhat. 3. He expressed a desire for us to be less co-dependent and focus on personal growth, which I agree is important. I have been consumed with taking care of him, his kids, and managing the household, and it feels almost robotic at times. He suggested that having space might make him miss my energy, and if we both work on ourselves, we could return to each other stronger. I believe in this possibility. He stated that he still wants to support me and would like us to continue seeing each other. I have a close relationship with his children, and he hopes to maintain that connection as well. I’m reaching out for advice and perspectives. I am deeply in love with him, and we had been planning our future, which I didn’t realize was overwhelming for him given his discomfort with pressure. My hope is for him to see me in a different light and come back to our relationship. I’m feeling incredibly sad, and my emotions are overwhelming right now. I find myself wanting to plead with him to stay, but I know I can’t do that. I’m just so hurt, and it’s hard to articulate. We have two months left on our lease, so we will still be living together during that time. How can I approach this situation and make him reconsider while we coexist? Do you think this space will be beneficial? How can I give him the space he needs while still living together?
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