I just discovered that my mother-in-law (55f) is irritated that I always arrive with something in hand.

I was always taught that it’s impolite to arrive without something in hand, so I’ve consistently brought treats like cupcakes, brownies, or cookies to events at my in-laws. I never went overboard—just enough to express my gratitude and respect. During our last visit, I asked what I should bring for Thanksgiving, and she said, “You’re in charge of wine. No need for anything else—just one.” We have a wonderful relationship, and I never sensed that she was bothered by my contributions in the past. However, I still felt uneasy about this new directive, as I was raised to believe it’s discourteous to show up empty-handed. I checked in with my husband, asking, “Are you sure one bottle of wine is enough? Should I make another dessert? Is there something else she might need help with? It feels a bit rude to only bring one wine for the whole family.” His reply was, “She only gave you the wine task because she knows that if she didn’t, you’d probably overdo it. She doesn’t even need the wine; it’s just to make you feel involved. She told me not to mention this to you.” (For context, my husband is autistic, so while his delivery can come across as blunt, he means no offense.) I’ll follow her request and bring just one bottle of wine, and perhaps I’ll learn that it’s okay to arrive empty-handed, even if that feels a bit unsettling. Am I overstepping by wanting to contribute, or is it common in American culture to show up without something for gatherings?