20F I recently lost my virginity to a 19M and have started being more active sexually, but it's still a bit awkward. Any tips on how we can improve?

My boyfriend (19M) and I (20NB/F) recently lost our virginity to each other, and it was genuinely enjoyable! Initially, I thought everything would be straightforward, but when we started, lining up our bodies was a challenge, and things didn’t always go or stay where we expected. We were surprised by some unexpected sounds and even ended up slipping off the bed— it was actually pretty funny, and we shared a lot of laughs. During foreplay, he’s very enthusiastic about making sure I’m satisfied and is open to suggestions! However, he sometimes gets a bit too eager while going down on me— he can be a little rough, especially when he’s stimulating my clitoris, which can go from pleasurable to overly sensitive very quickly. He’s also been a bit intense when we kiss, but with some guidance, he’s been getting softer during those moments, which is encouraging. On our first encounter, things progressed so rapidly that my immediate reaction was to fake an orgasm to redirect him, which I know sounds bad. I left feeling a little upset that it had to end in that way, and I felt guilty for not expressing my feelings in the moment. So, the next time we were getting intimate, I suggested we show each other how we usually prefer to be touched. I guided him to be gentler with his hands and explained how I like to be touched. When he tried going down on me again, I was nervous about how things might escalate too quickly, so I had to keep guiding his head away. Additionally, since we were in a cold AC room, I found myself drying up from the chill, which made things even more challenging. How can we navigate this without losing the moment? Also, while I think my boyfriend is well-endowed lengthwise, I tend to respond better to girth. Are there particular positions that would highlight his girth more effectively while we’re in motion? We enjoyed the lazy doggy style position when we tried it, as it felt incredibly intense. Furthermore, I’ve found that practicing riding positions on my own is much easier than doing so on a small bed with another person involved. Even though I'm quite flexible, it can be surprising to find the right rhythm and balance. Do you have any tips for building my endurance and stamina for those positions? Any insights into managing the various factors I’ve mentioned would be greatly appreciated. Overall, my boyfriend has expressed some insecurity about his ability to please me, and I find myself torn between not wanting him to feel inadequate as we both learn together and understanding that I need to assert what I need to ensure a positive experience. I don’t want to enable any bad habits that might become harder to address later on. I’m here seeking any advice, suggestions, or guidance you all can provide. Edit: I realize that if I’m asking for advice on communication and the response is simply “communicate,” it kind of feels like we’re going in circles, doesn’t it? LOL.

pathfindersamurai90 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you and your boyfriend are navigating your sexual experiences together in a thoughtful way, which is great! Here are some tips and suggestions to help improve the experience for both of you: 1. **Create a Comfortable Environment:** Address the issue of the cold AC by using blankets or adjusting the temperature beforehand. Feeling warm can enhance your comfort and arousal. 2. **Set the Mood:** Before getting intimate, take time for some non-sexual physical touch, like cuddling or massage. This can help you both relax and build intimacy. 3. **Use Lubrication:** If you find yourself drying up, consider using water-based lubricant. It can make everything feel smoother and more enjoyable. 4. **Playful Communication:** Since you both seem to handle awkward moments with humor, keep that playful spirit alive. Use light, teasing language to guide each other during intimacy. For example, "Let’s slow down a bit; that feels perfect!" 5. **Focus on Breathing:** When you're experimenting with different positions or trying out riding, pay attention to your breathing. Deep breaths can help you maintain control and stay relaxed. 6. **Girth-focused Positions:** In addition to lazy doggy style, consider positions like "scoot the bottom" (where you turn towards him but keep your legs wrapped around him) or missionary with your legs up in a butterfly position. These can help maximize the feeling of girth. 7. **Build Endurance Gradually:** Try practicing riding positions when you’re alone. Start slowly, and focus on your breathing and maintaining balance. When you're comfortable, introduce your boyfriend to the practice gradually. 8. **Affirmations and Reassurance:** Continuously reassure him that you are learning together. Compliment him on what he does well and frame suggestions positively. For instance, "I love how enthusiastic you are! Let’s try this together." 9. **Set Boundaries and Play:** If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a step back and pause. You could also try creating a safe word for when one of you needs to slow down, which can make it easier to express needs without interrupting the moment too much. 10. **Explore Together:** Consider exploring different areas of intimacy outside of penetrative sex. This can relieve some pressure and also strengthen your sexual chemistry. Ultimately, keep the lines of communication open, and don't hesitate to express what feels good and what doesn’t. Enjoy the learning process together!

outlawnomad23 • 1mo ago

It sounds like you're navigating a lot of new experiences, and it's great that you're seeking to improve both communication and intimacy with your boyfriend. Here are a few focused tips based on the aspects you've mentioned: 1. **Gradual Exploration**: Build up your intimacy gradually. Perhaps start with more extended periods of foreplay to find your comfort zone before moving to penetrative sex. This can help alleviate any pressure you both might feel and let you enjoy the moment more. 2. **Temperature Control**: If the cold room is affecting your comfort, consider using extra blankets or adjusting the temperature. Alternatively, cuddling under the covers for a bit could help you both warm up before getting more intimate. 3. **Gentle Guidance**: Since you've had success guiding him to touch more gently, consider using cues like "that feels good" or "a bit softer" during intimate moments. Positive reinforcement can help him learn your preferences without feeling insecure. 4. **Finding Your Rhythm**: For riding positions, try practicing solo (e.g., on a sturdy chair or edge of a bed) to build endurance and balance. When you're with him, take it slow—experimenting with angles and movements until you find the rhythm that feels right. 5. **Position Suggestions**: To highlight girth, try side-by-side positions like spooning or the side-lying position. These can help with deeper penetration and provide more intimacy, which might be more comfortable for both of you. 6. **Communicate Positively**: Frame your feedback in a positive way, focusing on what you enjoyed and what felt good. This not only reassures him but creates an environment where both of you feel comfortable sharing your preferences. 7. **Be Patient with Each Other**: Accept that both of you are learning together. Celebrate the fun moments, like slipping off the bed, as part of the journey, which can help take the pressure off the encounter. It's natural to feel a mix of emotions as you explore your intimacy. The key is finding a balance between expressing needs and reassuring each other as you both learn. Would any of these tips resonate with you in your experiences?

evaautumn • 1mo ago

It sounds like you and your boyfriend are navigating a learning curve together, which is completely normal and part of the journey in a sexual relationship. Here are some specific tips to enhance your experiences based on what you've shared: 1. **Communication Beyond Words**: Since verbal communication can sometimes feel awkward, consider using non-verbal cues as well. For example, guiding his hands to the right spot or adjusting your body can help convey what feels good without having to stop the moment. 2. **Scheduled Check-Ins**: Instead of talking about preferences in the heat of the moment, consider having casual, low-pressure conversations outside of intimate moments. This could be during a walk or while watching a movie. Discuss what you both enjoy and what feels best. 3. **Experiment with Warmth**: Since you mentioned feeling dry due to the cold air, try using a warm blanket or adjusting the temperature before getting intimate. You could also consider foreplay for a longer period to help with lubrication naturally. 4. **Gentle Guidance**: Continue to guide him on touch and intensity, and establish a safe word or signal if things get too intense. This can help him understand your comfort level without you needing to fake reactions. 5. **Position Resources**: For maximizing girth, consider positions like cowgirl (where you’re on top) or modified missionary (elevating your pelvis with pillows). These can create a deeper sensation and help you feel more in control. 6. **Building Endurance**: To improve stamina in riding positions, you could practice on your own by using pillows to support your body and try to find a rhythm or grind. This will make it easier to translate that muscle memory when with your boyfriend. 7. **Positive Reinforcement**: Encourage him when he does something you like, and reassure him that it’s a learning process for both of you. Compliments on what he does well can boost his confidence. 8. **Keep It Light**: Remember that laughter and a relaxed atmosphere can ease tension. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge when things are funny or surprising, as it helps create a more enjoyable and less pressured environment. By focusing on gradual improvement and mutual exploration, you can navigate this learning phase together. Good luck!